Here’s the set-up for Phil Torcivia’s What a Nice Guy, just 99 Cents on Kindle, or Currently Free Via the Kindle Lending Library:

Do you know any nice guys? Perhaps you’re married to or good friends with one.

Well, consider the possibility that this nice guy is so frustrated with his relationship failures that he needs to vent to keep from turning into a bad boy with anger issues.

Then, try not to spit hot coffee as you read his sarcastic rants about why men and women don’t seem to fit.

From the reviewers:

“Phil never ceases to make me laugh with his writing.” — Faith

“Phil is, by his own admission, a little relationship dysfunctional. What I like about this book, in addition to being fun and quite witty, is that he’s honest about this.” — RJ

“I absolutely loved this book … His writings are hilarious and random.” — Karma

“Don’t be prudish; it’s f**king funny!” — MJ

Excerpt from What a Nice Guy — Snippity Doo Dah

My initial vasectomy consultation is scheduled for today and I can’t get this song out of my head:

Snippity doo dah, snippity aye,

My, oh my, what a wonderful day!

None of my sperm is going to stray.

Snippity doo dah, snippity aye.

Mister blue balls getting older,

No child support

It’s so practical.

Everything’s satisfactual!

(Everbody now …)

Snippity doo dah, snippity aye,

Rubberless feelings coming my way!

If you’re staring at this page with mouth agape, you’re either my mother or a fertile woman. Men, can I have an amen? You betcha.

Look, ladies, I turn fifty this year. I need offspring like I need square dancing lessons. If I were to have one of my little guys actually find an egg, that would make me almost seventy by the time Junior went to prom. I’d be riding my daughter down the aisle on my scooter.

Visit Amazon’s Phil Torcivia Page

Torcivia is a divorced man who transplanted himself from Pennsylvania into the treacherous dating pool in Southern California. His feline companions, Syd and Symon, share his home in San Diego and an occasional dish of leftover tuna.

Torcivia loves nothing better than bellying up to the bar with his favorite social lubrication (wine) and watching the bizarre mating rituals of the locals, which he translates into humorous essays.

He has been single long enough to be involved in a few train wrecks of his own, admitting that he’s “one relationship disaster away from a third cat.”

And here, in the comfort of your own browser, is your free sample of SUCH A NICE GUY by Phil Torcivia: