Kindle Unlimited
Unlimited reading. Over 4 million titles. Learn more
Read for Free
OR
Kindle Price: $3.99

Promotions apply when you purchase

These promotions will be applied to this item:

Some promotions may be combined; others are not eligible to be combined with other offers. For details, please see the Terms & Conditions associated with these promotions.

Read with our free app
You've subscribed to ! We will preorder your items within 24 hours of when they become available. When new books are released, we'll charge your default payment method for the lowest price available during the pre-order period.
Update your device or payment method, cancel individual pre-orders or your subscription at
Your Memberships & Subscriptions

Buy for others

Give as a gift or purchase for a team or group.
Learn more

Buying and sending eBooks to others

  1. Select quantity
  2. Buy and send eBooks
  3. Recipients can read on any device

These ebooks can only be redeemed by recipients in the US. Redemption links and eBooks cannot be resold.
Kindle app logo image

Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.

Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.

QR code to download the Kindle App

Amazon book clubs early access
Loading your book clubs
There was a problem loading your book clubs. Please try again.
Not in a club? Learn more
Amazon book clubs early access

Join or create book clubs

Choose books together

Track your books
Bring your club to Amazon Book Clubs, start a new book club and invite your friends to join, or find a club that’s right for you for free.
Explore Amazon Book Clubs

Follow the authors

Haji Outlaw
Follow
John P. Kildemm
Follow
Something went wrong. Please try your request again later.

HEY DOORMAN: twenty-one true tales of an uncommon bouncer in los angeles Kindle Edition

by Haji Outlaw (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
3.4 3.4 out of 5 stars 78 ratings
See all formats and editions
What if Craig Robinson's bouncer character from "Knocked Up" wrote a memoir?
HEY DOORMAN is what that would be. . .

. . .Acclaimed writer, Haji Outlaw, goes under his pen name John P. Kildemm to chronicle Los Angeles night life.

Kildemm is a keen observer of people and it's from this place that this hilarious memoir comes.

Take a trip, not only into LA night life---a city that draws people from all across the globe---but into the mind of the funniest/smartest bouncer you'll ever meet, as he observes you from sobriety to total inebriation, and everything in between.

˃˃˃ JERRY SEINFELD - "I'm sure he's having a good laugh over this with his doormen buddies."

Seinfeld episode, "The Doorman".

˃˃˃ What do these three men have in common: Javier Bardem, Mickey Rourke, Samuel L. Jackson?

They were all doormen at one point or another!

HEY DOORMAN
Previous page
  1. Book 1 of 8
    HEY DOORMAN
  2. Print length
    53 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  5. Publication date
    December 10, 2014
  6. File size
    1576 KB
  7. Page Flip
    Enabled
  8. Word Wise
    Enabled
  9. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  10. See all details
Next page
Add a debit or credit card to save time when you check out
Convenient and secure with 2 clicks. Add your card
Next 5 for you in this series See full series
Total Price: $13.95
By clicking on the above button, you agree to Amazon's Kindle Store Terms of Use

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00QVZVCEQ
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ (December 10, 2014)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ December 10, 2014
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1576 KB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 53 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.4 3.4 out of 5 stars 78 ratings

About the authors

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Previous page
  1. Haji Outlaw

    Haji Outlaw

    Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Haji Outlaw has written for The Eric Andre Show in addition to other television programs, films, and commercials. He is also a music producer, having released a number of his own comedy songs (Tittynope, Beat Gods, T*ts No Bible, etc.).

    When Haji is not producing music, writing for the screen, or performing standup comedy he can be found penning his latest piece of obscure genius, if not collaborating with Isola Man Media (Hannibal Buress).

    @OutlawHaji on IG/Twitter

    See more on the author's page
  2. John P. Kildemm

    John P. Kildemm

    Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Haji Outlaw is a writer/comedian from the city of Chicago who currently resides in the city of Los Angeles. He has written for The Eric Andre Show on Adultswim, as well as making contributions to the comedy of Hannibal Buress, as well as writing for programs on NBC, Comedy Central and CBS.

    John P. Kildemm serves as Haji's pen name for his series of non-fiction memoirs, HEY DOORMAN.

    @OutlawHaji on twitter

    See more on the author's page
Next page

Customer reviews

3.4 out of 5 stars
3.4 out of 5
78 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Beezy
5.0 out of 5 stars If people watching is your thing...
Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2015
Verified Purchase
then you will enjoy this collection of short stories. I often find myself more interested in what's going on "over there" and Hey Doorman gives you the inside track. Kildemm has a great knack for editing his stories which I greatly appreciate as a reader (ever sat through one of your friends stories that goes on and on? That won't happen to you here). Great read that will have you wanting more.
One person found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Daggar
3.0 out of 5 stars Enticing premise but a disappointing read
Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2018
Verified Purchase
Really liked the concept of insider stories from a big city bouncer. Writing is competent, but the stories are weak. If the action needs to be embellished to make a good read, then so be it!
Helpful
 Report
Tammy A Feil
1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing
Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2015
Verified Purchase
The author doesn't know how to make his stories memorable, funny, or how to use punctuation. I'm glad this was a free book because I would have been pissed if I'd paid for it. If John wants to make this work he needs to hire an editor. I feel like I was listening to stories from a third grader who's all excited about his tales, but my patience is wearing thin the longer he talks. There's a seed of potential in the book's concept, but it's smothered under the juvenile writing. There were 21 stories, but many of them felt like he put something, anything down to reach his target number, and many were flat, soggy, very short afterthoughts.
4 people found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Keryth Belvin
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilariously Funny
Reviewed in the United States on July 1, 2017
Verified Purchase
Great book! I was really entertained by it. It seriously cracked me up. I'm gonna check out his next book too. Same name as this one but it's 22 true tales instead of 21. Check out this book if you want a good laugh.
One person found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Rose S
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Reviewed in the United States on November 24, 2016
Verified Purchase
Funny.
One person found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Kindle Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting
Reviewed in the United States on October 26, 2016
Verified Purchase
Interesting to read about someone's life as a valet and/or a bouncer. Funny stories about stupid people. I'm glad that I've never been one of the people he bounced.
One person found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
C. Libby
5.0 out of 5 stars The Joys of Public Service
Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2014
Verified Purchase
This was the craziest, most hilarious read I've had in a long time. Thumbs up to the "Doorman" and to all Doorman everywhere. Keep kicking A....!
Helpful
 Report
Robert W.
5.0 out of 5 stars real life in a bottle!
Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2015
Verified Purchase
I read this whole book in one setting because I couldn't put it down. If you ever had an urge to be a bouncer but aren't big enough or not a fighter John shoes how it is done with more fines than knuckles. A great read I can't wait for his next book.
One person found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Report an issue

Does this item contain inappropriate content?
Report
Do you believe that this item violates a copyright?
Report
Does this item contain quality or formatting issues?
Report