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Free Thriller of The Week Excerpt Featuring Glenn Shepard MD’s Action-Packed Thrill Ride Not For Profit

On Friday we announced that Glenn Shepard, MD’s Not For Profit is our Thriller of the Week and the sponsor of thousands of great bargains in the thriller, mystery, and suspense categories: over 200 free titles, over 600 quality 99-centers, and thousands more that you can read for free through the Kindle Lending Library if you have Amazon Prime!

Now we’re back to offer our weekly free Thriller excerpt:

32 Rave Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

A prominent surgeon accused of murder and terrorism…

A corrupt healthcare administrator hell-bent on bloody revenge…

A mysterious seductress whose secrets could free the doctor and kill thousands…

A terrorist cell with missiles aimed at a leading hospital in America’s Bible Belt…

Not for Profit takes you on an action-packed thrill ride that will have you questioning suspects, motives, and outcomes until the very last page.

Renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Scott James is charged with murder after two bodies are found at his surgery center. Just weeks before the start of his capital murder trial, Dr. James is approached by a beautiful woman claiming she can help him gain information that would prove his innocence.

As James hunts down the evidence that might free him, he faces a barrage of threats to his life and liberty–and makes one chilling discovery after another: Corporate corruption. A conspiracy to frame him for murder and for terrorist acts. A secret drone-control operation that takes out targets in Afghanistan and Pakistan. The true identity and intent of his beautiful ally. And a plot to blow up the local hospital and surrounding community.

And here, for your reading pleasure, is our free excerpt:

Prologue

Deep in a forest in Ancient Greece, a young man by the name of Orchis stumbled upon a festival in honor of the god Dionysius. It was a wild celebration filled with drinking and dancing. Young Orchis was drawn to the party and decided to join in. After a few hours and a few too many goblets of wine, he tried to rape a Dionysian priestess. Upon witnessing this violation, his fellow revelers tore him to pieces. The next morning, his father gathered together the pieces of his dead son, but he could not resurrect him. As he fell to his knees, Orchis’ father prayed to his gods for aid in bringing his son back to life. The Greek gods wanted to help, but they could not just restore Orchis. He needed to be punished for what he had done. So, instead of bringing Orchis back to life as a man, they transformed him into a slender flower—what we now call an orchid.

 

Cartersville, West Virginia

My patient was almost six months old. Bright blue eyes. Curly, platinum-blonde hair. Cute pink fingers. Her name was Britney Ann Cooper. She was a perfect twelve-pound baby girl—except for the angry, open gash that trailed from her nose to her mouth. For most children, the palate fuses together before birth, but for one in every 700, it does not.

Britney’s mother was distraught. Her friends kept saying that God had given Britney a cleft palate for a reason. They kept telling her that she was being punished by God for her sins. They said that if she tried to change Britney, God would strike her baby dead.

I disagreed. “Nobody’s dying in my operating room today. Not if I can help it.

Britney’s mom asked, “Is she gonna be okay?”

“Yep. I promise. Never lost one yet. Trust me. Gimme an hour, and she’ll be good as new.”

Britney’s mom had no insurance. She was unmarried, seventeen years old, and on welfare. I was standing next to her in a makeshift OR in the back of a free clinic in a single-wide trailer. Sweat dripped down into my eyes. It was 97 degrees, and there was no air conditioning. This part of West Virginia is as poor as some cities in Third World countries.

“Okay. Fine. Whatever. Just do it, but I can’t watch,” Britney’s mom said through tears before turning to run out of the trailer.

A nurse anesthetist stuck an endotracheal tube down Britney’s throat. One slip on her part and my skills would be lost on a dead baby. I tried to focus on the task at hand. I turned to the circulator nurse as she wiped my forehead. “Hey, if it’s too easy, it’s no fun—right?”

My patient rested on a gynecology examining table, the only table the free clinic had for surgery. The leg stirrups had been removed, but the attaching mounts stuck up so far from the table that it kept me at arms-distance away from my tiny patient.

I stared though my magnifying loupes and traced the length of the cleft. It opened at the floor of the nostril and down through the upper lip and back over the palate, dividing it all the way through to the uvula. I paused before lifting the scalpel.

If I had been in my air-conditioned cosmetic surgery office in North Carolina, I would have repaired the lip then and the palate the following year. Closing the lip early is essential to containing the mouth, so the baby can suck and feed on a nipple. Without the lip repair, the baby will become extremely malnourished. The palate closure is necessary for proper speech development, which doesn’t begin until eighteen months. But, since we were in a rural area and I wouldn’t be back next year, I had to do it all then.

I took a marking pencil and quickly outlined the cuts on the upper lip, with rotation advancement of the two halves of the upper lip and a tiny Z-plasty on the vermillion border. With my thumb and index finger squeez­ing the labial artery—the primary blood supply of the lip—I made the lip incisions, discarding only the thin rim of tissue that blocked the repair.

I heard Britney gurgle and took her pulse. It was slow, which meant she wasn’t getting the oxygen she needed. I ordered the anesthetist to take out the endotracheal tube and put it back in again.

The cautery machine was an antique. I hadn’t used one of these old ones since med school, and I was worried about excessive burning. To be safe, I touched the individual bleeders with a small 25-gauge hypodermic needle.

I took the smallest suture material available, 4-0 gut, for the muscle repair. I preferred much smaller sutures, but none were available. Three of the stitches aligned the lip exactly.

Twenty minutes and four forehead wipes later, I was almost done. Just the palate left to stitch up, but it was the most complicated part of the procedure. I felt sweat about to drip in the wound and turned quickly for another brow wipe. My back was killing me, but I adjusted my posture and put the pain out of my mind.

Just suture the palate. With some fine silk, 5-0, which was perfect for a mucosal repair, I placed five fine sutures in mattress fashion, to turn the lining of the palate outward.

I stepped back to admire my work. Damn! The vermillion borders of the lip didn’t match; the left side was lower than the right.

The baby started gurgling and coughing. Crap! The nurse anesthetist had disappeared to prep another patient, and I was on my own. It wasn’t safe for Baby Britney to be out so long. I had to do this fast and finish up. I breathed in deeply and tried again. I made a 5-0 silk stitch and placed each side exactly in the vermillion border. I slowly tied the stitch and pulled.

Again, I stepped back and looked at my patient. The two sides slid into precise alignment as God had intended them. Perfect!

 

Chapter 1

 

Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan, 6:00 am EST Three Months Earlier

“Alpha Charlie, Alpha Charlie, get ready for action! The target’s on the move!”

The words vibrated in Charlie’s earpiece as he sat bolt upright and flexed his 220-pound, 6-foot 2-inch frame. He had spent the last four days glued to the monitors, never leaving the control center, even as the other eight members of the Air Force forensics team took brief meal and sleep breaks. Alpha Charlie was a CIA-hired civilian contractor whose mission in Afghanistan was to control pilotless aircraft and destroy enemy targets. Ninety-six hours earlier, just before he was scheduled to return to his civilian job in America, forensics had identified the Al-Qaeda leader Muhammad Bin Garza only 230 miles away in the Mir Ali area of North Waziristan. Charlie cancelled his flight home.

It had been two years since they’d had a positive ID on Bin Garza. And Charlie wanted blood.

The notorious Al-Qaeda leader was responsible for the suicide bombings in Mumbai, Amman, London, and Somalia and had connections to the World Trade Center attack in New York. Now, he was a sitting duck. He had been spotted while entering a complex of tents and adobe houses adjacent to the mountains and caves. He would be leaving any moment now. This was probably the one and only chance Alpha Charlie would have to eliminate Bin Garza. Bin Garza’s death would be the ultimate notch in his gun barrel. His job back home could wait. He had taken out terrorists before, but Bin Garza was the trophy he had been training and waiting his whole life for.

Alpha Charlie was stationed in one of two identical Quonset huts on the base, both sitting within fifty meters of each other. In the first hut was housed the US Air Force forensics team. Their function was to make the drones airborne, to locate and identify targets, and to land the vehicles when their missions were completed.

In the second hut, Alpha Charlie sat in a single chair. But this was no ordinary chair. It was a one-of-a-kind control chair loaded with hundreds of computer systems that required delicate manipulations. At the end of each armrest were two joysticks, one for each hand. Both were equipped with a dozen buttons, some black and others red, all with separate and distinct functionalities.

Ever since he was twelve years old, Charlie had played video arcade games. He’d mastered the games almost immediately, having innately good reflexes and eye-hand coordination. He also had no moral qualms— about anything. After winning several gaming competitions in his late twenties, he’d been contacted by the CIA and accepted their offer to move from murdering virtual foes to slaughtering real ones.

The CIA had granted Charlie access to a new program that involved piloting drones. Very quickly, Charlie had learned to operate them as well as the Air Force’s best pilots. His penchant for video games made his skills acute, and these gaming skills readily transferred to drone operation. His immediate mastery of the pilotless aircraft gave him a critical talent that many professional pilots lacked. Although the pros were readily trainable, not one had Charlie’s innate ability to pick up the controls of an aircraft with which he had no experience and so quickly operate it with such a sharp degree of precision. Charlie had also proven himself to be brilliant under pressure, and once he’d tasted actual combat, he gained a voracious appetite for it. The thrill of killing a virtual terrorist couldn’t compare to the rush of killing one made of flesh and blood.

Air Force Colonel Ben Edwards, the director of the operation, ran into Charlie’s hut. He glanced at Alpha Charlie’s hands as they moved the joysticks. Edwards marveled at how Charlie’s fingers glided over the controls and easily performed maneuvers his other “pilots” struggled with.

Suddenly, Edwards saw it—the blinking red light on the fuel gauge: 100 pounds of fuel left; 72 miles of “life” left in the fuel tank—not enough to get the aircraft halfway back to Kandahar. He screamed, “Charlie! You’re running out of fuel!”

Alpha Charlie pretended not to hear. He had already extended the flight time five hours by using the updrafts of the mountains to conserve fuel and lowering the speed to 320 miles per hour, but still he was concerned. He’d ordered his Global Hawk fuel carrier an hour ago, and it was not even on his radar screen yet. Well, that was a problem he didn’t have time for now.

His focus remained locked on the three monitors in front of him. Screen A showed a scurry of activity in the small, peaceful Haqqui tribal village. Bin Garza was going for a ride. That was it! Charlie’s waiting was over. He leaned forward and watched carefully.

In the center of the village, a 1960s Mercedes sedan and a 1980s Chrysler New Yorker were parked in front of an adobe house. Alongside the two cars, a small entourage surrounded three men who had just left the house and were walking to the vehicles. A dozen cheering villagers reached out to touch the men as guards pushed them aside. On Screen B, the forensics experts focused on the faces of the men and enlarged them. Screen C showed a broad view of the five-square-mile area surrounding the target.

Screen A showed the men getting into the two cars, while Screen B flipped through stills of the faces. Then, the camera fine-tuned portrait-quality images. Charlie heard excitement building in the other hut.

“That’s definitely Bin Garza!”

“And that’s his number two, Shakel, with him! We can get two for the price of one if we hit ’em now!”

The third man on the screen kept his shumag pulled over his face, making it impossible to identify him.

Colonel Edwards shouted across the room, “Alpha Charlie, we have Al-Qaeda’s two top men together. Targets confirmed! It’s now or never. Get ’em!”

Alpha Charlie turned to Screen A, the target monitor showing live pictures from the MQ-4A Global Hawk drone he controlled. This model was the largest and best equipped drone in his fleet, but it was brand new and untested. It had been airborne for nearly forty-eight hours and circled the area at 50,000 feet, filming the area where Pakistani intelligence had said these men were staying. Sweat dripped down Charlie’s brow as he saw the plummeting fuel gauge now reading just above empty.

Time was running out. Charlie focused the camera, centering it on the now moving car.

A pissed-off Edwards looked at Screen C. “Fuck! There’s a hill! They’ll disappear behind it in twenty seconds! Charlie, you gotta strike now!”

Alpha Charlie did not respond, but he’d heard Edwards. He had one shot and didn’t want to fuck it up. His mental clock ticked down: 20, 19, 18 . . . He remained calm and showed no signs of tension. His left hand guided a blinking, red target square over the car. With the image of the square fixed to the target, Charlie centered the X. Click! The Hellfire missile locked on the Mercedes. . . . 12, 11, 10 . . .

Charlie quickly touched the red trigger button with his thumb, firing the five-foot-long missile that carried over thirty pounds of explosives. At a speed of 950 miles per hour, the missile would be paying the Mercedes a surprise visit within three seconds.

But would it get there in time?

 

Mir Ali Village, Afghanistan, 6:04 am EST

A high-pitched whirrr, like that of a model airplane, filled the sky above the village. The driver of the Mercedes looked up and saw the silvery flash of reflected sunlight emerging from the obscurity of the mountain behind.

As the driver accelerated, he saw the five-foot-long Hellfire missile speeding toward them. Bin Garza screamed in terror as he gripped the seat of the car and braced himself. The explosion was tremendous, ripping the men and car to pieces.

One hundred feet away, the unidentified man in the shumag, Omar Farok, felt his Chrysler bounce around like a toy ball. The concussion of the impact nearly deafened him. He watched from the Chrysler as a fireball swallowed up the Mercedes within minutes, followed only by a blinding cloud of smoke and dirt.

Fortunately for Farok, his driver was familiar with the terrain of the village and immediately the Chrysler turned left onto a mountain path, dodged around three trees, and slammed to a halt. A petrified Farok dove out of the car and ran into a mountain cave. He sat trembling in the cave as he watched another Hellfire missile devour the Chrysler in a ball of red flames, engulfing his driver as he tried to escape.

Farok’s voice echoed inside the cave, “American pigs! I swear on Allah’s blessed name, you will pay for this!”

Drone Control Center, Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan, 6:05 am EST

Colonel Edwards and his forensics team cheered!

Alpha Charlie did not celebrate, even as the refueling aircraft in the sky above saved his drone from sputtering to the earth on its last pound of fuel. Sure, Charlie was pleased about the millions he’d make from this kill. The extra money would allow him to shift his drone-control station and missiles back home and continue his missions from there. Still, he wasn’t about to jump up and down and cheer. He’d done his job.

As bottles of Dom Pérignon were uncorked, Charlie stood up. Without fanfare, he grabbed a glass and downed it. Then, he poured himself another. As he swallowed, he thought to himself, All in a day’s work.

Chapter 2

 

Jackson Surgery Center, Jackson City, North Carolina, 7:00 pm / Three Months Later

When patients walk into my cosmetic surgery office, they find a space that is healing, orderly, and serene, as I personally designed it to be. There are no crystals dangling or New Age music playing. Instead, a four-foot waterfall provides the ambient sound of trickling water, and many of the walls and open spaces feature my favorite flower—the orchid—in paintings and photographs as well as live specimens of the beauties themselves.

My orchids are always resplendent with gorgeous blooms of hot pink, deep magenta, and white with mauve spots. I care for all the plants myself— watering them, limiting the amount of sunlight, fertilizing, amending the soil. In my office, you’ll always find a colorful Doritaenopsis.

My favorite is the pure white Phalaenopsis to the left of the waterfall. It was a gift from a patient when I first opened my office. At the time, the blooms were solid blue—an unnatural color for an orchid. I suspect someone had blue-inked the roots, like the blue roses in Kipling’s poems. Saturating a flower in ink has always seemed wrong and angered me in the same way that a bad facelift does. In my mind, there are absolute rights and absolute wrongs in this world. A person’s face shouldn’t be stretched so tight that their eyes and lips get distorted, and a white orchid should remain pure white.

I became obsessed with that Phalaenopsis, nurturing it (in a back room, of course) until it bloomed again, this time, with petals the purest white of any orchid I’ve ever had.

 

. . .

 

 

Every day, I look at the broken pieces of Orchis sitting in my waiting room, and I try my best to put her back together. Most of the time, I succeed. Not today. Today was not going so well.

 

. . .

 

“Why is it taking her so long to recover from the anesthetic?” I asked as I removed my surgical gown and gloves. I arched my back, stiff from bending over so much. After twelve hours of surgery, I was exhausted. I’d just turned forty, and I was starting to feel it.

Smiling at my anesthesiologist, Dr. Boyd Carey, I said, “Two face-lifts, two liposuctions and three augmentation mammoplasties are enough for one day.”

Dr. Carey did not return my smile. He looked over his half-frame glasses and shrugged. “If you hadn’t bowed to Keyes’ ridiculous demand to keep her privacy by sending your two nurses home early, her auggie would have taken only forty-five minutes.”

Carey was a thin vegan who probably would have been happier if he’d eaten a burger once in a while. At forty-five, the fine wrinkles in his dark skin made him look sixty.

I took off my surgical cap and finger-combed my hair. “Come on, Boyd. Relax. Hey, at least we aren’t working in the tobacco fields.”

“Oh God, you’re not going to start in again on your childhood stories of slaving away in the fields to pay for college.”

“I could if you’d like . . .”

“Please, spare me.”

Carey turned to the patient for a minute and then tilted his head back and faced me again. “No. She’s still sound asleep. That’s another thing, Scott. We should have given her Propofol, like we do with all our patients. She’d be awake by now. But no! You always grant all your patients’ every wish and kiss their surgically-raised asses.”

Ethel Keyes had been my office manager for the past two months. She was a hard worker with a sweet personality; everyone who came in contact with her liked her. Never before had a staff member so quickly endeared herself to everyone. It probably didn’t hurt that she was a thirty-two-year-old blonde who looked like a fashion model.

Just a few days ago, Keyes had confided to me that she’s always felt uncomfortable with her body as she thought her breasts were too small. She had done such a great job in the office—revamping my billing system, changing the office health insurance to a less expensive and more comprehensive plan, and computerizing all my office records—that I offered to do a breast auggie surgery for her pro bono.

But it was a mistake. Beyond the ethical issues involved in operating on employees, she proved to be a difficult patient from the beginning: refusing Propofol as her anesthetic because it had killed Michael Jackson; forbidding the use of the second best medication, intravenous Versed, because she didn’t like its amnesic properties; and insisting on an older style of anesthesia, Valium and Demerol, but in reduced doses.

She argued that she was sensitive to all sedatives. Sure enough, it had taken only 2 milligrams of Valium and 50 milligrams of Demerol to knock her completely out. Most people required 10 milligrams of Valium and 100 milligrams of Demerol with touch-up medications given as the patients got “light.” Keyes had needed no touch-ups during surgery today, and she’d continued to sleep soundly afterward, as Dr. Carey and I waited . . . and waited for her to wake up.

I leaned over the OR table and tapped her cheeks lightly. “Ms. Keyes. Ms. Keyes, can you hear me?”

Her response was a snore.

My perpetual smile turned to a concerned frown. I clasped my hands behind my back and pressed on my tired paraspinal muscles.

Dr. Carey growled, “She hasn’t had enough sedation to hurt a fly. You should just go home. I’ll watch her until she wakes up. At least one of us should be able to enjoy this evening.”

“No. I’m not leaving until she’s awake.”

“Fine. Go into your office.” Reaching out to cup her left breast, Carey smirked and uttered, “I’ll keep you abreast of everything here.”

“Jesus, Boyd, get your hands off her. She’s under, for Christ’s sake!”

“Okay, Sir Galahad, guardian of fair maidens. Go get some coffee, and I’ll call you when she’s awake enough for discharge. It shouldn’t be long.”

I hesitated before leaving the room. “I’ll be in the waiting room. If there’s a problem, call me and I’ll be back in a second.”

As I stepped out of the OR, I pulled out my iPhone and called my wife, Alicia. I told her of the situation with Keyes.

“Do what you have to do,” she said. Then she sighed deeply before continuing. “But there’s always something to keep you there late. And the boys wanted to see you, I’ll put them to bed and keep your dinner hot in the oven—again.”15

Glenn Shepard, MD

I walked into my waiting room to talk to Anna Duke, the friend who was to pick up Keyes after surgery. But she wasn’t there, so I sat down on the sofa and relaxed.

The waiting room is my favorite part of the office. It has a huge skylight, custom stereo, the waterfall, and a dozen blooming orchids. I turned on a Miles Davis CD and flicked on the multi-colored lights that glowed behind the waterfall.

When the architect had told me it was impossible to put everything I wanted in the room without knocking down walls, I paid him his fee and gave him his walking papers. Then, I did some research and installed it all myself. I’m sure I could have hired someone else to do it faster, but I found I really enjoyed learning about and doing the plumbing and wiring. In fact, I’d had so much fun doing it, I planned to buy and fix up an old Victorian house in the low country of the Carolinas one day. The operative words being “one day.” These days, my eighty-hour-a-week work schedule didn’t allow for much else.

Inhaling the sweet fragrance of my Cymbidium and Zygopetalum orchids, I sat back, closed my eyes, and began dictating the reports of the seven operations I’d performed that day.

 

. . .

 

Thirty feet away in the operating room, a shadow caught Dr. Carey’s eye. He turned quickly and saw a light reflect off something in the air, something swinging at him. It hit him hard in the neck, almost knocking him over. Instinctively, he grabbed his neck and felt a painful jab and a burning sensation.

He tried to turn to face his attacker, but his body wouldn’t move. Again, the hand slammed him with the sharp object. Carey wanted to lift his arms to protect himself, but they dropped limply to his side. His legs grew weak. His muscles quivered uncontrollably.

His opened his mouth to scream but couldn’t make a sound. Both knees buckled, and his body dropped to the floor.

 

. . .

 

A loud thump distracted me from my dictation. It seemed to come from the OR. I jumped up, ran down the hall, and opened the door. Dr. Carey was lying on the floor! Keyes was still asleep on the operating table, and the monitors showed a normal blood pressure, pulse, and EKG.

I dropped to my knees beside Carey. I could find no pulse. Jerking the stethoscope from his white lab coat, I listened to his chest and heard only a faint bump . . . bump . . . bump. I pounded my fist on Carey’s chest and listened again. Placing the heel of my hand on his lower sternum, I compressed the chest six times before blowing into Carey’s mouth. Again, I listed to his chest, but his heartbeat was still slow and faint.

For the first time in my surgical career, I felt panic-stricken. What in the hell happened? I was gone only a few minutes!

I dialed 9-1-1. “A man’s been stabbed. He’s dying! I need an ambulance! Jackson Surgery Center! STAT!”


 

Chapter 3

Jackson City Hospital, ICU, 8:30 am / Day 1

As the ICU nurse left Keyes’ bedside, the curtains at the head of the bed shifted slightly. A hand came out, and the two privacy screens parted slightly. Brown eyes peered through the small aperture and carefully looked around. An attendant, dressed in green surgical scrubs and a surgical cap, slipped into the room. A surgical mask covered the attendant’s nose and mouth, and bangs of jet-black hair covered her forehead to her eyebrows.

The attendant hurried to close the curtains left open by the departing nurse. She gently lifted Keyes’ head. “Here, honey. Take these pills; you’ll feel better.”

With eyes still closed, Keyes stuck out her tongue. The attendant placed eight blue tablets on it and lifted a glass of water to her mouth. Keyes swallowed. With the attendant holding her hand, Keyes fell into a deep sleep.

A few minutes later, the attendant slipped out of the room.

 

Jackson City Hospital, ICU, 8:40 am

I had been up all night, going between the police station for questioning and the hospital to check on Keyes. Dr. Carey was dead. Resuscitative attempts had failed, even though the paramedics had labored over him for an hour. Keyes had been transferred to Jackson City Hospital twelve hours earlier. When I’d last visited her at 6:00, she still hadn’t fully awakened from surgery but was responsive. She’d opened her eyes and even spoken to me.

I went to Keyes’ side now. I lifted the covers and checked the breast bandages: no blood. I lifted the nipple coverings: pink and contracted when I squeezed them; no wound problem. But she was still in a deep sleep, and I noticed her breathing was slow and shallow.

I tried to awaken Keyes, but she didn’t respond. I shook her shoulder to arouse her. No response. Something was wrong. I took her pulse: slow, only forty-eight. I looked at the vitals screen: Her oxygen was only eighty percent, her blood pressure a dangerously low seventy over thirty. Her skin was gray. Keyes was in trouble!

I threw back the privacy curtains and hollered, “Where’s this patient’s doctor?”

The ICU hospitalist, Stewart, and two nurses came immediately.

“When I was here a few hours ago, my patient was awake and talking to me. Now, she’s totally unresponsive. What’s going on?” I demanded.

“I don’t know,” Stewart answered. “When I checked her thirty minutes ago, she was responsive and her vitals were normal.”

“Well, that wasn’t the case when I arrived a few minutes ago,” I said. “Why the hell didn’t the attendant who was just in here notice this patient was decompensating?”

“Which attendant?”

I looked around but didn’t see her.

Stewart called the head nurse on duty. I described to her as best I could the person I’d seen leaving Keyes’ room just as I’d arrived: tall, brown eyes, black hair covering her forehead, green scrubs, surgical mask.

“Not one of mine,” she said. “I haven’t seen anyone like that here today.”

Stewart turned to me and through clenched teeth said, “Maybe the real question here is, What did you smack her with in your surgery center? It must’ve been potent stuff to last this long.”

With that in mind, I recounted every detail of Keyes’ surgery, but could not think of anything that had gone awry or any reason someone would have it out for Carey.

“She was talking when I was here at two and again at six o’clock this morning,” I told Stewart. “She smiled at me and expressed her concern about the other operative patients we did yesterday. She asked about them one by one and by name, so her mind was working well.” Then I asked him, “What did her drug screen show when she came in last night?”

Dr. Stewart pulled Keyes’ chart from the rack at the foot of the bed. At Jackson City Hospital, ICU doctors worked three twelve-hour shifts each week. Stewart’s shift had started at 9:00 that morning, so he knew little about this patient.

After quickly reviewing the chart, Stewart said, “Hmm. You’re right. The nurse’s reports show she ‘came around’ after admission. Toxicology shows she had only a trace of Demerol and no Valium upon arrival, certainly not enough to do anything but make her a little groggy.”

“I know. What medications has she been given since then?” I asked.

“Absolutely none. She’s received no medication from this hospital since being admitted last night,” Stewart responded.

Then, frowning, he looked me dead in the eyes and said, “The patient was fine until you showed up here at nine. What’d you do, give her something strong to shut her up?”

I resisted the urge to tell him to go screw himself. Instead, I appealed to his sense of reason. “Look, forget the finger-pointing and let’s help her. She’s in trouble. She’s overdosed on something or there’s something else going on here; this is not a delayed reaction to yesterday’s meds. Repeat those blood studies. Check her out neurologically. Rule out a cerebral vascular accident. And find that tall female attendant with black hair. She might have given her something.”

Dr. Stewart looked at me and then at Keyes, and his expression changed. I could tell that he, too, sensed that something wasn’t right. He took his stethoscope from his neck, moved it over her chest and then the carotid arteries. With his ophthalmoscope, Stewart looked through her pupils to the inside of her eyes. After testing her reflexes with his rubber mallet, he hollered across the room to the charge nurse, “Call the blood lab STAT and send for X-ray. I need a portable skull X-ray.”

He raised the top of Keyes’ bed until she was at a forty-five-degree sitting position, increased the nasal oxygen to 100 percent, and upped the IV fluid rate to 300 cc’s an hour.

Stewart turned to me. “I agree. Something’s neurologically wrong.”

“Like what?”

“She’s either strokin’ or somebody shot her up with drugs.”

Chapter 4

Jackson Surgery Center, 10:00 am / Day 1

I parked my car and ducked under the yellow police tape that surrounded the entire building. When I opened the front door, a smiling police officer greeted me.

“Hello, Doc. Remember me?”

I looked at the young policeman, who was short, African-American, and had a baby face. I shook my head. “You look familiar, but I’m sorry, I don’t recall . . . I’m not good with names.”

“I’m Willy Wilson. You took care of my boy, Terrance. His brother hit him in the face when they were playing football together and cut his lip pretty bad. You sewed him up about two years ago.”

Although I still didn’t remember the case, I smiled. “Does he have much of a scar?”

“Nope. You did a good job. And you never charged us a penny. That was cool of you. I never forgot that.”

“Well, I’m glad I was able to help,” I said as I started down the hall.

“So thanks for that, but . . . um . . .” The cop put up his hands to block the doctor. “Sorry, Doc, you’re not allowed in here. This is a crime scene.”

“But this is my office.”

“I’m sorry, but the chief says nobody can come in, not even you,” Wilson said.

“At least let me get some folders from my desk.”

“No. The chief doesn’t want you tampering with evidence.”

“Me, tamper with evidence? In my own office?”

“Just doing my job, Doc.”

“Please, I need to get two things out of my office: contact information on the woman who was supposed to pick up my patient last night and the list of operations scheduled for next week that need to be rescheduled now. I promise I won’t disturb anything. You can come with me.”

“I’d lose my job if I let you in. Please, just go.”

I need to have that information to keep my practice going. I tried to dodge around Wilson, but he stood his ground.

“Don’t make me arrest you, Doc.”

“Then, can you get the information I need for me?”

“Everything has to stay put. Rules are rules.”

Reluctantly, I turned and walked away.

As I flung open the front door in frustration, Wilson said, “Get lawyered up, Doc. From what I hear, you’re in for a shit storm!”

 

. . .

 

When I got into my car, I called my wife at home.

She answered immediately. “Honey, oh my god! Are you okay? I didn’t sleep a wink last night; I was so worried about you. It must have been awful to go through all that.”

I felt like breaking down and crying, but I didn’t. “They haven’t done the autopsy, but it’s definitely a homicide. Someone jabbed a needle in his neck and probably shot him with a big bolus of a drug. It might take a few days to resolve all this. I’m on my way to the hospital to get permission to see my patients there.”

“You should have just kept doing your surgery at the hospital. You should never have spent all that money on the surgery center.”

“Alicia, please . . .”

“When are you coming home? I miss you. I never see you except late at night.”

“I miss you, too. I’ll be home soon.”

“Good. I hope everything works out at the hospital. I mean, even though you can’t use your office, you’ll still need to see patients and operate.”

“Yes. I know.”

Continued….

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32 Rave Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

A prominent surgeon accused of murder and terrorism…

A corrupt healthcare administrator hell-bent on bloody revenge…

A mysterious seductress whose secrets could free the doctor and kill thousands…

A terrorist cell with missiles aimed at a leading hospital in America’s Bible Belt…

Not for Profit takes you on an action-packed thrill ride that will have you questioning suspects, motives, and outcomes until the very last page.

Renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Scott James is charged with murder after two bodies are found at his surgery center. Just weeks before the start of his capital murder trial, Dr. James is approached by a beautiful woman claiming she can help him gain information that would prove his innocence.

As James hunts down the evidence that might free him, he faces a barrage of threats to his life and liberty–and makes one chilling discovery after another: Corporate corruption. A conspiracy to frame him for murder and for terrorist acts. A secret drone-control operation that takes out targets in Afghanistan and Pakistan. The true identity and intent of his beautiful ally. And a plot to blow up the local hospital and surrounding community.

Reviews

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The Blood Banker

by David Prever

4.0 stars – 3 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:
Former #1 in Political Fiction, #4 in Political thrillers
#5 in all books – Thrillers, and #3 in the Kindle Thrillers Chart.

The body of a French banker lies under a train on the London Underground: the first of three of three ‘banking suicides.’ A tragic result of the economic downturn.

Former tabloid reporter, turned blogger, Danny Lightfoot needs a story. And something about the tube death doesn’t add up… When a second banker takes his life, then a third, he’s certain of wrongdoing.

In a race to reveal the truth, Lightfoot uncovers a laundered money trail that leads, via Hong Kong and the world’s largest online criminal cartel, to the heart of British government: Number Ten Downing Street – and a man who will stop at nothing to achieve the power he craves.

But with a hired killer watching his every move, can Lightfoot banish his demons and face down the evil that threatens his life?

And here, for your reading pleasure, is our free excerpt:

Chapter One

 

 

 

Sebastien Flement had often wondered about taking his own life. He was curious enough to have read an internet article on the subject and knew that, according to statistics, most suicides happen on a Wednesday. It was unusual, then, that his death occurred on a Sunday morning, with one hundred and fifty tons of electrified steel hitting the side of his head at forty miles an hour.

Clean-shaven with a mop of dark hair, Flement stood over six feet tall with a build that was lean and well toned; regular long runs along the Grand Union Canal had shaved close to a decade off his forty-six years. Even on a Sunday, he looked sharp in the dress-down weekend uniform of pressed beige chinos, blue button-down shirt and tailored overcoat. Clutching the weekend papers and his briefcase, he walked the one hundred yards towards Warwick Avenue station, took his last ever breath of what passed as fresh air in London and descended the long escalator, inhaling the Tube’s trademark mix of tunnel dust and stale heat.

Alone on the platform, he walked towards the tunnel and ignored the raised bumps that served as a warning to stand back from the edge. A red triangle with a zigzag arrow alerted the passengers: Danger – electrified tracks. In the distance, he heard the familiar rumble of an approaching train, accompanied by a drop in temperature. Above his head, six CCTV cameras recorded every movement on the platform. Scanning his newspaper, he didn’t notice as one by one the rectangular boxes lost power and shut down. At the same time, an error message appeared on the southbound platform monitor in the ticket office upstairs: System software failure: error reported.

The Sunday headlines were bleak, with reports of record national debt. His own exposure was minimised but there were still some losses, meaning changes to the family lifestyle. They had moved from Paris three years ago when the twins were just two and just before Cecily was born. Lured by the charm of Little Venice, the canal boats and cafes, the Victorian property had seemed a good place to call home. The house had taken two years to finish and was almost rebuilt by the time the last bulldozer left. The project had been Madeleine’s baby and worth every penny of the half a million pounds it had cost to control her homesickness. The money didn’t matter; he’d do anything to keep her happy. His consolation was a basement cinema room, a bolthole where he could switch off his worries and watch endless sports coverage until, beaten by exhaustion, he’d drag himself upstairs for a few hours sleep.

Flement read the message on his Blackberry again. Sunday, 9am – Emergency meeting. Attendance critical. Weekend meetings had become the norm. Stock markets had closed the week at a record low. Trading would start in the Far East at midnight, London time, with more panic selling expected. As finance director with CAI Asset Management he had seen the banking crash coming and should have warned the board that markets were overheating. They wouldn’t have listened. Nobody wanted to hear bad news, including his boss. Even now his warnings fell on deaf ears. Friday’s meeting had ended badly. The ultimate danger, he believed, was that sooner or later the government might not be able to meet its loan repayments and markets would drown overnight. At one point he’d raised his voice and declared, ‘You can’t solve a drunk’s alcoholism with a bottle of whiskey.’ The statement had been met with tumbleweed silence around the room and some awkward throat clearing from the chairman. Sir Charles Lloyd believed that more, not less, spending would rescue the country. His silent co-directors had fumbled with their notepads; pointless show ponies hired to nod on cue.

The dot matrix sign flashed an update: Next train five minutes. His punishing weekday schedule had rolled into the weekend again. He felt no better than a functioning drunk and craved a nap. A double-espresso, his drug of choice, would have helped. The boss couldn’t abide poor punctuality. His fix would have to wait.

Railwayman Jack Field took a sip from his flask of tea, waited for the green starter signal and then eased his train out of Maida Vale station into the dark tunnel. The driver struggled to adjust his failing eyesight as the train reached its maximum forty-five miles an hour. He was close to retirement age with another medical due in a few weeks.

The cabin lurched to the left and then again to the right. He shifted the handle anticlockwise and applied the brakes. Aging rails scraped against forty-year-old rolling stock, like fingernails on a chalkboard. Jack Field knew every inch of the track, but the noise was still unsettling. There was another sharp turn and a tiny circle of light emerged in the distance: the platform at Warwick Avenue.

The cab radio squawked a message about delays at Waterloo; the rest of the service was running well. The circle of light was growing bigger, almost filling the cab window. He passed another green and could see the platform now, just around a final bend. On a weekday morning it would be full of passengers, but today it looked empty. His shift would be over by midday. Perhaps he could fit in a couple of pints at the union social club before Sunday lunch.

Flement stared at a poster across the tracks: a golden beach with clear blue water and the seductive slogan, Less than three hours away, what are you waiting for? In a light trance, he didn’t hear the robotic voice announce the next train. And he didn’t pay attention to the man in a reflective orange vest walking towards him, pushing his bucket. An invisible worker, carrying out menial duties for minimum pay. Flement felt calm and in control for the first time in months. His worries were behind him now: the stress of the last few weeks would be wiped out in a second; the children’s future different to their carefree life in London, less affluent, but secure.

The decision was made. He’d take Madeleine to dinner this evening. That new place, by the canal. They needed to talk, away from the chaos of family life. He would explain the files he’d seen. Information in black and white confirming his worst fears. She would understand his plan. He knew what had to be done.

A mouse scurried under the track, dragging a half-eaten burger. In a light trance, he watched the rodent disappear into the tunnel. The man was closer now, behind him, washing the famous London Underground sign. As the rails started to vibrate, he turned and landed the wet mop between Sebastien Flement’s legs.

‘Sorry, mate, an accident; didn’t meant to do that,’ he said in an Eastern European accent.

Unnerved by the sound of the approaching train, Flement turned and lost his balance, slipping on the soapy platform. His reaction was instinctive. As he clawed at the air he noted tiny details of the man’s appearance: cropped hair, pale skin and a diagonal scar etched across his square jaw. In the time it took to memorise the information he realised, with perfect clarity, that the details were pointless. His ankle twisted under the mop. He reached out again, but there was no hand for support, only a clenched fist followed by a sharp nudge in his taut chest, a sudden blast of warm air, two bright white headlights and the cab window of Jack Field’s train bound for Elephant and Castle silencing his scream as it thundered from the dark tunnel.

 

Chapter Two

 

 

 

‘What’s your name, pal, want to tell me your name?’ A trickle of blood dripped from the driver’s nose onto his lip. Archie Drew handed him a stained handkerchief from his pocket.

‘He hasn’t said a word yet, Inspector, shall I stay with him?’

‘If you would, local units are on the way. Does he look as though he might tell you what happened?’

‘I don’t think so, not for a while. I’ll call you if he does.’

He replaced the phone. Ten minutes earlier, Archie Bell had led the train’s passengers up the escalators and closed the station gates. He stared at the CCTV monitor. What if the passenger is alive, still breathing? he thought. There should have been at least two staff on duty, but his guard had phoned in sick, suffering from a recurring weekend hangover. On any other Sunday he could have coped on his own, but with a body under a train it was about to get busy.

The image flickered. Black and white lines danced across the screen. He thought he saw an arm move under the front of the driver’s cab, or was it a leg? His mind was playing tricks. Archie Bell gave the monitor a thump.

His first aid training was meant to help in situations like this, but he didn’t recognise the driver’s symptoms. Blood had drained from his cheeks and, worst of all, a foul stench was beginning to spread around the small, airless room. The supervisor guessed that the driver had soiled himself.

‘What did you see, mate? Do you want to tell me what you saw?’ he asked again.

There was still no reply. The handkerchief dropped to the floor. The man, who must have weighed at least sixteen stone, tried to lift himself up. Falling backwards into the chair, his shaking hand fumbled for a glass of water, spilling the contents over Archie Drew’s desk.

Inspector Kevin Walters sat at the Top Table, the command area of the British Transport Police Force Control Room, London, and surveyed his surroundings.

The low-ceilinged room was no bigger than a tennis court and looked like any other call centre – faded green, peeling paint, coffee-stained floor tiles – except the staff were wearing police uniforms. Twelve communications officers sat at their workstations on the tenth floor of the art-deco building above St James’s Park station, controlling British Transport Police movements in an area spreading from Norwich down to Southampton including the London Underground. Opposite the Top Table two TV screens attached to a pillar displayed CCTV images and Sunday Worship on BBC1.

Until ten minutes ago, Inspector Walters had been passing the time reading through the list of incidents from an uneventful Saturday night, the usual mix of post-match football incidents and disorderly drunks. Then, at eight thirty-five, one of three permanent lines from the London Underground had flashed red, indicating an incoming 999, the first of the morning. An officer had patched the call through to her boss. The rest of the room had snapped into a slick drill, despatching local units.

Now, the inspector took off his headset. ‘The driver won’t speak, can’t speak apparently. Station supervisor says he’s not making any sense. Sounds like shock to me.’

The sergeant sitting next to him tapped the buttons on the ICCS system, the Integrated Command Control Screen, to bring up the latest status report.

‘We’ve two units on the way. Do you want to send a duty sergeant?’

‘We should do, see who we’ve got upstairs. Sounds like a non-suspicious – the supervisor says the platform was empty – but best be certain.’

Three local units had already been called to attend. Sergeant Alan Manning, sitting alongside Inspector Walters, was weary and his shift had only just started. With twenty years of experience he knew that the same old battles were about to begin.     And here we go again, he thought. Three quarters of an hour, if we’re lucky, to sort this out. It was policy to have the Tube running again within forty-five minutes. Forensic evidence would be contaminated. The witnesses and suspects, if there were any, would have been evacuated and sent home, with no details taken. He called through to the London Underground Network Operation Centre next door to confirm that paramedics and undertakers had been notified.

 

The Cleaner had watched Flement leave his house, on time, from the safety of his Range Rover on Clifton Gardens and followed him underground. Leaving the station had been easier than he’d anticipated. With no staff on duty he’d jumped over the gate, unnoticed. Back in the car, he reached under the seat and brought his laptop to life. The station’s CCTV screens had switched back to active, just as he’d planned. Hacking into the settings had been easy enough. All recordings for the last fifteen minutes would be missing and blamed on poor service contracts. The ticket office window was still shut. He switched cameras. Another grainy image showed a cross section of the southbound platform, with an unmanned train that looked as if it had parked halfway down the track.

The Emergency Response Unit – the Underground’s dedicated team of rescue specialists – arrived first, followed by an ambulance and motorcycle paramedic. Boxes would be ticked, due process would be followed. Flement stood little chance of surviving the six hundred and thirty volt rail, but suicide attempts sometimes failed.

A keen Sunday jogger and an elderly dog walker with a ragged terrier had formed the beginning of a small audience, braving light rain to watch the local drama unfold. Two British Transport Police officers manned the station entrances, cordoned off by blue and white incident tape wrapped around lampposts.

‘Bloke chucked himself on the track. Bloody selfish. Some poor sod’s gotta go down there ’n’ scrape him up,’ said the old man.

The Cleaner wound down his window and listened to intermittent police conversation from an officer’s airwaves radio. A row was underway as to who had communications priority. Only three radios could work at the same time underground. A paramedic emerged from the station steps demanding a stretcher. The Cleaner relaxed in his seat, enjoying the chaos.

 

The southbound track was a mess of hot, twisted metal. The driver’s cabin was lifted to a twenty-degree angle and looked like a jet about to take off. An officer from British Transport Police took photos for his report, struggling with the focus. The camera’s flash lit up the track, causing a firefighter to drop his wrench and slip off the rail.

‘For fuck’s sake, do you have to do that? It’s not a bloody wedding.’

The officer ignored him and released the shutter a couple more times. A blinding white flash bounced off the tunnel walls.

Two undertakers from P. Alfred & Sons Funerals – one grey-haired and gaunt, the other little more than a teenager – waited on the platform with a black body bag. The man had already been certified dead by one of the paramedics. As soon as the train was lifted they could remove what was left of Sebastien Flement and deliver his remains to the mortuary near the river Thames. The coroner on call would have been woken by a buzzing pager. A file would be opened; medical, pathology, psychology and police reports would help the coroner rule sometime in the next three months that, beyond reasonable doubt, Sebastien Flement had taken his own life.

A worker in an orange vest heaved himself off the track and onto the platform, wiping away sweat and black grime.

‘The body is still intact, but his head’s smashed to bits. You can’t recognise the skull.’

He was holding a clear plastic bag with the dead man’s belongings including the contents of a wallet: half a dozen credit cards, some cash and a picture taken on holiday of a woman with three children, all young girls. A local police officer would be given the task of telling her that the girls’ daddy wouldn’t be coming home today, or ever again.

Another worker was untangling Flement’s jacket, still caught up in the train’s wheels. ‘Looks like he was dragged along the track,’ he said.

As the body came loose, the young-looking undertaker, three days short of his twenty-first birthday, stepped down onto the rails to help, telling himself it was just a job and this was just another body.

‘Your first “one-under” is it, son?’

The undertaker nodded as he stood in the so-called ‘suicide pit’ and lifted Sebastien Flement’s blood-stained leg off the track before realising it was held in place by his trousers and no longer connected to his hips.

 

At street level, the airwaves radio sputtered an update: ‘Deceased being removed now. Incident is non-suspicious. Driver is male, early fifties, disorientated, no verbal communication, suffering post-traumatic stress, signs of cardiogenic shock. We’ll take him to St Mary’s?’

The Cleaner didn’t wait to look at the casualty. He collected a holdall from the boot and walked towards Little Venice, under the Westway and into Paddington Basin alongside the Grand Union Canal. Narrow boats decked with dead plants, washing and bike spares fought for space and a prime mooring. The peace and tranquillity of the waterway clashed with the roar of the dual carriageway above.

Behind him, he heard the siren and smiled as the ambulance came into view on the flyover, heading towards Bishops Bridge Road. Accident and Emergency would be quiet this time of day; the driver would be admitted and rigged up to life-saving tubes and machines. Walking along the cobbled pathway, he could see the top floors of St Mary’s Hospital in the distance. Reaching inside the bag, he traced the outline of the pen-injector. In the front pocket was a stethoscope.

He had an appointment with his patient.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Three

 

Jack Field pulled at the hospital’s nylon sheets. He was desperate to rub away dried mucus from the corners of his eyes, but his arms felt like lead weights. Less than an hour ago he had been in the cab of a Bakerloo Line train; now he was lying on a gurney, surrounded by a blue curtain. There was a needle sticking into the pinched skin below his wrist. A long tube was looped over a drip stand, pumping essential liquid into his body, keeping him alive. The smell of chemical disinfectant was overwhelming.

From beyond the doors, he heard the clank-rattle-clank of a trolley followed by a cockney-sounding male voice.

‘Piece. Of. Crap.’

The trolley moved off again with the sound of clattering metal fading into the distance, followed by more expletives.

He could remember the first part of the day in vivid detail.

He’d booked an early turn on duty, on time at Stonebridge Park at seven twelve, taking the train out to Elephant and Castle at seven twenty-three, returning again at eight thirty-eight. After ten years on the Bakerloo Line he knew the timetable by heart. Filling his flask with fresh tea, he’d been off again. Harlesden, Willesden Junction, Kensal Green, Queen’s Park, Kilburn Park, Maida Vale, he remembered, repeating the stations over and over in his mind and then… nothing. A complete blank. Some people were talking to me in the ticket office, the ambulance and… A surge of pain spread across his chest. Another thin hollow tube, this time hanging out of his neck, was wired to a box by the side of the bed. It whirred into life, stopped for a few seconds and then printed his vital data onto a slip of paper, like an old-fashioned telex machine.

Sleep came again within seconds, but lasted just a few minutes. He opened his eyes; a nurse and two men in shirtsleeves were standing at the bottom of the bed, one older than the other.

‘Cardiogenic… intra-aortic… sedative… shock… monitor for the next hour… post-traumatic stress…’ The older man looked down at a clipboard and hooked it onto the end of the bed. The nurse said something and smiled at them both. He struggled to connect the words.

The older man moved towards him, leaning in so close he felt his breath; the strong smell of coffee and cigarettes was enough to make him wretch. If he’d had the strength.

‘Mr Field, I’m Richard Wayman… consultant… nasty shock this morning I know… problems with your heart that you didn’t know about… going to keep an eye…’ The man continued to speak, but Jack Field couldn’t listen any longer, each word fading as the drugs and shock dragged him back to sleep.

 

St Mary’s Hospital towered over the A40. Various outpatient departments and offices spread into neighbouring streets and buildings, competing for land with Paddington mainline station next door, a monument to bad planning rather than clever design. The Cleaner walked alongside several portable office cabins and turned left into South Wharf Road.

The sign for Accident and Emergency pointed to a curved pedestrian ramp that led to the first floor. He reached inside his jacket and felt for the stethoscope, placing it around his neck. With six hundred beds spread over twelve floors, this was the easiest place in London to go unnoticed. If anyone asked, he was a consultant in A&E.

The automatic doors at the top of the ramp opened into a small, drab waiting room with plastic chairs facing an old-style portable TV hanging from the ceiling. A young mother sat in the corner with a teenage girl, her arm wrapped in a blood-drenched towel. Two police officers stood by the coffee machine, trying to follow the instructions. He recognised them as British Transport Police officers.

A stern, pale-faced receptionist sat behind ceiling-height glass. The Cleaner approached the desk and smiled, before looking down at his mobile phone. Behind her, a wipe board listed recently admitted patients. There were two names scribbled in red ink: Mrs Annette Turner and Mr Jack Field. Alongside both were the initials CDU.

The receptionist noticed the stethoscope and managed to find time for the tall consultant staring down at her. His square jaw, with an impressive scar beneath Sunday morning stubble, won her attention and she pushed her paperwork to one side.

‘Morning, Doctor, can I help you?’ Her voice whistled through the intercom grill.

‘I’m fine, thank you, Mrs…’

She replied before he had time to read her name badge, shouting through the broken speaker. ‘Frazer, Ms Frazer.’ The noise was worse this time. Her cheeks blushed as she fumbled with the volume. ‘I’m sorry, so sorry, how can I help?’

The Cleaner pretended not to hear the question. A high-pitched tone filled the waiting room again as the handsome man turned to face the double doors, and was gone.

A wide corridor led to the main lifts, with hospital directions on every available space. A sign, in five different languages, pointed to CDU – Clinical Decisions Unit, immediately to his right. As he was about to open the door, two doctors appeared from a side room and went in ahead of him. Avoiding eye contact, The Cleaner kept walking towards the disabled toilet. Locking the door behind him, he noted the time, sat down on the seat and waited.

After only a few minutes, he heard footsteps on the other side of the door, followed by a frustrated hand turning the lever one way and then back again, trying to force it open.

‘Anyone in there? Hello, anyone in there?’ the woman said in a cockney accent.

He ignored her. She waited, then walked away. And then the handle moved again. She was back.

‘My son needs to go. What are you doing in there?’

The Cleaner didn’t like too many questions.

‘Must be bloody broken. Come on, we’ll find somewhere else.’ The sound of a child’s sobs faded down the corridor, with the mother moaning about inefficient hospitals and broken facilities.

The Cleaner had no way of telling whether the doctors had finished their ward visit. He thought of the lesson taught to him at the National Defence University in Warsaw: When a man is in a hurry, the devil is happy. He sat back and emptied his mind, as he’d been trained to do during the endless hours of interrogation training.

After thirty minutes, The Cleaner opened his eyes, took some overalls from his holdall and pulled the uniform over his clothes. He then extended the telescopic handles on a fold-up mop. The fee was fifty thousand euros with no complications. The man lying in the ward next door was a complication that had to be dealt with. He checked in the mirror and adjusted his sleeves. He was ready.

He listened for any sign of noise and slid the lock to the right. The corridor was empty. Ignoring the sign to ‘Disinfect hands and save lives’, he pushed at the swing doors leading to the CDU and entered a ward with eight beds. There were no flowers or personal touches from concerned relatives. This was a holding bay for casualties before they were dispatched elsewhere. An old woman was asleep by the window, high on medication. The other occupied bed was surrounded by a curtain.

 

Jack Field strained to open his eyes. Someone was moving around the cubicle, wiping the floor. He tried to focus on the man’s face. He’d lost all sense of time. How long had he been lying here? The man was holding a clipboard, studying his notes. He looked up and smiled.

‘Mr Field, how are you feeling?’ he said.

The railwayman tried to reply, but his throat was dry and the words wouldn’t form. He rolled his tongue over his lips, hoping to find some moisture. Trying to form a sentence, he lifted his head and coughed up a word before falling back into the pillow.

The man smiled and continued to wipe around the bed. ‘I understand, no need to reply. You won’t be here long, I’m sure. The doctors are very good,’ he said.

Jack Field thought again about the lost morning. On time at Queen’s Park, a couple of passengers boarded at Maida Vale and then? Still nothing.

Why couldn’t he remember Warwick Avenue?

The man squeezed his hands into a pair of latex gloves, lifted up the blanket covering the patient’s legs and held his left foot, pulling the big toe to one side.

‘This won’t take long,’ he said. Reaching inside his pocket, he pulled out a fat tube that looked like a marker pen.

‘Just just a small sedative, a top up. Won’t cause you any pain at all.’

Why is a cleaner giving me injection? What is he doing? he thought, but was too weak to ask.

The Cleaner took hold of the webbing between the patient’s fat, callused toes and held the pointed end of the injector against the skin. He heard the ward doors opening and a nurse calling out to the other patient. He didn’t have long. If she found a stranger administering drugs, security would be called. Depressing the end of the injector with his thumb, he sent the human insulin powering into the railwayman’s veins.

As the liquid entered his bloodstream, Jack Field remembered the dull thud against his carriage window as the train turned a corner, left the darkness behind and arrived at Warwick Avenue. He recalled the split second sight of a man’s face hitting his cabin and the sound of something underneath the carriage before he slammed hard on the brakes. There’d been another man on the platform too. The man who was standing at the end of his bed, smiling as he placed the empty tube back in his pocket.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Four

 

 

 

The twenty-three most powerful men and women in the UK poured out of the Cabinet room in respectful semi-silence. Most of the ministers rushed towards the famous front door; a few chose to linger and trade small talk.

Chancellor of the Exchequer Bernard Sterling was the last to leave. He was one of the few Cabinet members to have experience outside of public life. His publishing empire had made him a millionaire by the time he was thirty-five, a fact he liked to remind his colleagues of with annoying regularity. It was also no secret that he was impatient for a bigger job. But there was no vacancy sign, yet, above the door at Number Ten Downing Street.

Lunch appointments had been cancelled for the second week in a row. The Cabinet meeting had lasted twice as long as usual; a three-hour trawl through every aspect of the financial crisis, ending with a report on the UK Finance Fund. Led by private sector chairman Sir Charles Lloyd, the UKFF had been formed to control government investment of over eight hundred billion pounds in thirty British banks and building societies.

Weaving his way around those ministers who’d lingered to chat, Danny Lightfoot walked towards the main staircase. After four weeks in the job, he still felt a thrill from working in the office of the British prime minister. An opportunity to observe the Cabinet meeting was a real privilege, even if it wasn’t really where he wanted to be.

At eighteen, Lightfoot had arrived at the East London Echo as a rookie reporter. After three years on the local beat, writing about car crime and planning rows, he’d resigned to join The Washington Mail on a trainee scheme. It took him less than a week to realise that Capitol Hill had nothing in common with the back alleys of East London. With an empty contacts book, Britboy, as he was affectionately known, had found the new life tough. An expanding black book of one-night stands kept him busy; the girls liked his English accent. His thin handsome face and muddy-brown eyes helped. But he missed home: the familiarity of angry cabbies and restless misery. Londoners liked to talk about leaving, but never did. Lightfoot had made the big leap oversees, and then – in his mid-twenties – he wanted back in.

            Washington DC had felt like an overgrown head office and the call to return home and follow in his father’s footsteps at The Courier, the UK’s biggest daily newspaper, was difficult to resist. After five years of hard work and a run of exclusives, Danny Lightfoot had been made senior investigative reporter at the national title just before his thirtieth birthday. But his career had halted, without warning, six months ago, when over half the newsroom was made redundant before lunch.

He’d passed each day in denial, sitting in cafes until the lights went out. Sending emails, surfing the web and pretending to work. He was convinced the phone would ring. It didn’t. Newspaper revenues were down and nobody wanted to know. The empty hours were punctuated by endless coffees with friends and former colleagues, including Mark Day, a BBC reporter he’d met in Washington, now responsible for digital communications in Downing Street. When Day offered him part-time work on the Number Ten website, he’d accepted without hesitation.

The new position provided what every journalist looked for – access. He felt like a successful bank robber with nowhere to spend his cash. Headline grabbing exclusives landed on his desk each morning. And had to stay there, until they found a way onto his blog. Insider-said.com had started as a hobby; an anonymous diary populated with news and gossip overheard around Westminster. The site had a strong following, with some of his stories picked up by the press. Nobody knew he was the author. With privileged information, he was treading a dangerous path, but took the view that a nuisance blogger wasn’t a Code Red national security threat for MI5.

‘Mr Lightfoot, good to see you’re working hard again.’

James Kelly, a reporter on The Courier, was heading towards him.

‘And you too, James. Here to see the PM?’

‘I am, lots to ask him, plenty of questions. Like whether he’ll still be here at the end of the month.’

Lightfoot ignored the comment. James Kelly had more enemies than friends and a reputation for doing what he was told rather than writing what he believed, meaning he’d kept his job.

The journalist was led up the famous staircase by a secretary. Lightfoot followed behind the squat reporter and turned left on the first floor landing. James Kelly shot him a smile that said I’ve got the job you wish you still had and we both know it, before being shown into the Terracotta Room.

Lightfoot walked back to his office, past Mrs Thatcher’s old study. Seeing Kelly had shaken him up. Since leaving school, Lightfoot had plotted his future: junior and then senior reporter, followed by a deputy editor position and then his own newspaper to edit. Why is that moron interviewing the PM, not me? he thought. And why have I ended up at thirty-seven years old writing copy for the web that nobody reads?

            Kelly was right, though: the PM was in trouble. He picked up his messenger bag and made his way out of Downing Street, past the armed protection officer, turning left towards the crowds and Trafalgar Square.

The febrile atmosphere in the office was too good not to share. He crossed over Whitehall to The Clarence pub, ordered a large Americano and sat at a table in the far corner with his back to the wall, waiting for the screen on his laptop to warm up. The buzz of being first was a natural high that he couldn’t resist.

Adrenalin flooded his veins as he clicked on ‘new entry’, typed a heading and began to write the story.

 

CHANCELLOR TO CHALLENGE THE PM?

Insider-said has learnt that the chancellor will call for the prime minister’s resignation as early as this afternoon. The challenge will come as a surprise to those who expected Bernard Sterling to wait another few weeks before deciding to make a move. It’s understood that Sterling and the PM had a heated exchange at Cabinet this morning, arguing over the power of the UKFF, which manages British investment in the new nationalised banks. The PM is said to be unhappy with the powerful role held by Sir Charles Lloyd, former chairman of the Royal Alliance Bank; another breakdown between the two most powerful men in the UK? A number of candidates are expected to throw their hats into the ring. The chancellor would easily win a leadership contest. We can expect an announcement soon.

  

He reread the copy. The leak could have come from anyone who had spoken to a government minister in the last hour. With a swig of the remaining coffee, he slammed his finger down on the enter key, updated his Twitter status with a breaking-news strapline and hit send.

 

Lightfoot left the office around six pm after an uneventful afternoon writing a report on the prime minister’s engagements for the week ahead. The tube journey from Westminster to his flat in Notting Hill Gate was thirty minutes door to door, but the Circle Line was suffering from delays again. He fought for elbow space in the cramped carriage and busied himself with The Evening Standard.

The picture was a family snap from a beach holiday, a young girl sitting on a man’s broad shoulders and twins playing in the sand by his feet. According to the paper, the prominent banker had committed suicide over the weekend. The forty-six-year-old from Paris had jumped to his death in front of a train on Sunday morning, leaving a widow and three young children. Lightfoot closed the paper. From his time on the news desk he knew that most cases of passengers jumping under trains didn’t result in death, unless the train hit you at a decent speed, of course, in which case you stood no chance. The man had been unlucky.

He was still thinking about the Evening Standard report as his train crawled into Notting Hill station. Halfway up the escalators, his Blackberry picked up a signal and began to bleep like a broken vending machine.

The display showed the name Mark, Downing St. He had to answer.

‘Got you at last. That was a clever move then?’ Mark said.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Nice try. But not very convincing. I’ve been told you’re responsible for this blog.’

Danny paused, baffled that he’d been found out, then replied in as steady a voice as he could manage, ‘How did they know?’

‘It must have come up during your security vetting and sat on someone’s desk until now. A leak from a Cabinet meeting is serious stuff. It didn’t take long to trace the source. What were you thinking?’

He knew that the Civil Service vetting process was thorough, but hadn’t expected them to find out about the blog. The website had been registered using a pseudonym and a fake address. He wondered what else was on his file; past relationships, professional contacts, even conversations in which he’d criticised the government and police. There were stories in the bars around Westminster that GCHQ, the government communications agency, sometimes eavesdropped on staff conversations. He’d dismissed the rumours as idle fantasy. Now he wasn’t so sure. His grip tightened around the phone. He wondered whether an agent was listening to their call now, huddled over his work station, making notes.

‘Where are you?’

‘Whitehall. I couldn’t call you from the office. The PM is thrashing around, waving the OSA at everyone, the usual routine.’

The Official Secrets Act was taken seriously by civil servants. Lightfoot hadn’t signed, but knew that it made no difference. The act was a law, not a contract, and he could be prosecuted either way. His boss knew too, but was playing games, trying to scare him.

Mark Day raised his voice above the traffic. ‘I can’t have you back here, you realise that?’

‘I need this job.’

‘I’m not sure you do. Maybe you should try to get back into print.’

He knew he’d been stupid and let the smell of an exclusive get the better of him.   ‘I’ve got to go. I’ll be in touch.’ Before he had a chance to shout a reply, his now former boss was gone.

 

His flat was only ten minutes from the station, a basement conversion near to Portobello Road that he’d bought at the top of the market. The property was now worth at least twenty thousand pounds less than he’d paid for it. Stumbling over the junk mail and slamming the door behind him, he pulled the curtains shut, fell onto the old sofa and powered up the laptop. The once white walls were waiting to see the insides of four sample paint pots balanced on the mantelpiece. Takeaway menus and empty pizza boxes were stacked on his parents’ old glass coffee table, alongside week-old supplements from the Sunday papers. A vast plasma-screen sat on a table in the corner, the only sign of modernity in an otherwise grim bachelor pad.

He switched on Sky News and watched the weather, then was shocked to see his own face staring back at him, an old by-line photo from The Courier, followed by his girlfriend Natasha talking about him in the third person. Stock footage of Downing Street and the chancellor played behind her commentary. The surreal experience of being spoken about in a news story was amplified when his girlfriend’s name started flashing on the phone.

‘Hey, I’m just watching you talking about me,’ he said.

They had been together for six months. Natasha was smart and ambitious. His ego had taken a battering when the paper made him redundant and she had been the perfect girlfriend, keeping his self-confidence in check, encouraging his work on the blog. Now she was reporting on her boyfriend’s exclusive story as though they were strangers.

‘And you think it’s amusing, do you?’

He was often dismissive of her role as a ‘pretty talking head’, even referring to her once as an ‘auto-cutie’, the derogatory name for female TV newsreaders, moving out of the way just in time to avoid a flying vase.

‘Sweetheart, I didn’t expect this.’ He tried to sound like an innocent victim.

‘Then what did you expect? How could you be so stupid? This was a good job.’ She paused, then added, ‘The least you can do is give me a quote.’

‘Are you serious?’

‘Always.’

There was an uncomfortable silence on the line. He’d need her help to get through this.

‘You don’t want to interview me, do you?’

‘Are you joking? I couldn’t look you in the eye and keep a straight face. They’re pushing me to get you on The News at Ten. Just give me a sentence or two, or I might have to make it up.’

Lightfoot knew he had to say something, but what?

‘How about something like… Lightfoot says he felt it was in the best interests of democracy, openness and the spirit of the internet that the facts were in the public domain rather than waiting for the spin doctors to work their dark arts?’ There was another pause.

‘You’re full of crap, you know that?’ she said.

‘Which is why you love me.’

‘I don’t remember saying that.’

Their relationship was at that difficult stage where one of them would soon have to declare their real feelings. Natasha was in a crowded newsroom and wasn’t about to start whispering sweet nothings down the phone.

‘This is serious, you know. The papers will be pissed off that the story broke online, on your blog. And Number Ten are already muttering about the Official Secrets Act.’

‘I know, I just spoke to Mark. I never signed, but it makes no difference.’

A voice in the background, probably her editor’s, called out her name.

‘I’ve got to go. I need to rewrite this for the three o’clock.’

‘Let’s talk about it later.’

She didn’t reply; the line was already dead.

He stared through the screen. The ticker-tape headline played on a loop: NUMBER TEN ADVISOR SACKED FOR WEB LEAK.

The pain was familiar this time. And unless The Courier called and invited him back to his old desk, he was unlikely to feel better any time soon.

Continued….

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The Blood Banker

by David Prever

4.0 stars – 3 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:
Former #1 in Political Fiction, #4 in Political thrillers
#5 in all books – Thrillers, and #3 in the Kindle Thrillers Chart.

The body of a French banker lies under a train on the London Underground: the first of three of three ‘banking suicides.’ A tragic result of the economic downturn.

Former tabloid reporter, turned blogger, Danny Lightfoot needs a story. And something about the tube death doesn’t add up… When a second banker takes his life, then a third, he’s certain of wrongdoing.

In a race to reveal the truth, Lightfoot uncovers a laundered money trail that leads, via Hong Kong and the world’s largest online criminal cartel, to the heart of British government: Number Ten Downing Street – and a man who will stop at nothing to achieve the power he craves.

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New Year Island

by Paul Draker

4.7 stars – 18 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
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THE STAKES ARE HIGH…

Ten strangers, recruited by an edgy new reality show and marooned on an abandoned
island overrun by wildlife.

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Chapter 1

Camilla

October 20, 1989

Cypress Street Viaduct, Oakland, California

 

“G

ordon said he saw her this time—through the gap under the crossbeam, but she crawled away again.”

“Gordon’s wrong. It’s been three days since the last live rescue.” Dan Prescott looked down the black row of rubber body bags, lined up like dominos on the buckled asphalt. “Our window’s closed—they’re all dead.”

“But the crew from Engine Company Eight heard her, too—yesterday, under the H span. She was singing.”

Dan shook his head. His gaze followed the collapsed section of elevated freeway stretching a mile into the distance. The two-story spans were sandwiched together, the upper crushing the lower, resting against the crumbled concrete pylons.

“How could anyone still be alive in there?” he asked.

“I’m telling you, they saw her.” Manuel Garcia’s voice cracked. “They heard her.”

“I’ve been doing this for fifteen years, and I know,” Dan said. “At this point, it’s strictly recovery. I’m sorry, Manny.”

Black smoke billowed out of the small gaps between the roadway spans. Some of the crushed cars trapped inside were still smoldering four days after the earthquake. Two blocks away, a hook-and-ladder truck angled close to the rubble. A fireman clung to the ladder, spraying a stream of water into the narrow crack between the pancaked roadways.

Manuel stared at the constricted, smoking gap, his face drawn with anguish.

“They said she looked like a little angel, lost in the darkness,” he said. “She was singing to herself.”

Dan turned to the younger paramedic and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“I went home for a couple hours last night,” he said. “Looked in on my daughters, asleep in their beds… and I cried. Something like this, you can’t really get your head around it. You don’t know what to believe in anymore. So our minds invent phantoms, showing us what we want to see. Or hear.”

He looked at his junior partner and saw himself fifteen years ago. He spoke as gently as he could.

“Manny, there is no girl.”

 

Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

 

A column of names ran down one side of the clipboard Dan held, question marks after them. On the other side were detailed descriptions: gender, approximate age, hair, eyes, clothing, but no names. He stared at the list, pen in hand, but a deep voice snapped him out of his bleary-eyed focus.

“We’re cutting into H section.”

Dan squeezed the bridge of his nose and blinked at Ballard, the fire lieutenant.

“Waste of effort,” he said.

Ballard’s expression hardened. “You should go home, Dan.”

Dan could see exhaustion etched into Ballard’s face, but his jaw was set. The rest of the crew from Engine Company 8 came around the side of the ambulance, carrying a Hurst tool—the Jaws of Life, used to pry open mangled vehicles. Two of them lugged a large rotary concrete saw, trailing its thick orange power cable. All wore bulky knee and elbow pads.

Manny Garcia stood next to Ballard. He wouldn’t meet Dan’s eyes.

Ballard pointed at Gordon, his station chief.

“Gordy says she’s in there, Dan. We’re going in to get her.”

 

Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

 

Three hours later, Dan had check marks next to most of the fifty-eight names on his clipboard. He counted down the list of missing with his pen, pausing at the name that caught his eye again: Camilla Becker, seven years old.

Their imaginary girl?

He circled the name with his pen and continued down the list. A yell interrupted him. He looked up.

Shouts came from the hole in the concrete where Ballard’s crew had gone in. The yellow of a fireman’s protective greatcoat glimmered in the floodlights. They were coming out.

“Prescott, Garcia, over here.” Ballard’s deep voice echoed across the cracked concrete. “Now.”

Dan’s eyes widened. He turned to Manny, who was already hauling a stretcher from the back of the truck. He grabbed the other end, and they ran toward the gap.

 

Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

 

“She’s alive.”

Dan had Dispatch on the radio. It sounded strange, hearing himself say the words, but there was no joy in them.

“Her legs—both of them,” he said. “She needs to go into surgery as soon as possible.”

He listened to the dispatcher while he watched the girl. She sat upright atop a stretcher near the fire truck fifty feet away. A blanket covered her from the waist down. He was sure her legs would heal, given time. The problem was the damage that didn’t show.

He held the radio handset loosely. The dispatcher asked a question.

“Seven years old, I think,” Dan said. “I’m not sure. She can’t speak.”

The girl’s face was expressionless under a layer of soot. She looked like a life-size doll. Manny stood next to her, speaking to her, stroking her hair gently. Her eyes were dark glass marbles. Unresponsive. Empty.

Whoever the girl had been was gone forever, lost in the darkness behind those eyes. She was catatonic.

“No media,” Dan said. “It’s not a feel-good story.”

The girl—Camilla?—sat like a mannequin, unaware of her surroundings. She was nearly the same age as his oldest daughter. He looked away, down at the cracks in the concrete, and tried to focus on what Dispatch was saying.

“Channel Four?” He swore under his breath. “Who called them?”

He could hear sirens in the distance now, getting louder.

“Look, Ballard’s crew went back in to try and locate the vehicle,” he said. “To establish her identity… to find the rest of her family.”

He looked up at the hole the fire crew had cut in the concrete. They were coming out now, climbing down from between the spans. He watched them as he listened to Dispatch coordinating with the hospital. There was something odd about the way the crew was moving. Slowly. Like they all had been hurt somehow, where it didn’t show.

Ballard walked toward him. Dan couldn’t read his expression, but his cheeks and forehead looked pale under the dust and soot.

“Media?” Ballard asked. His voice was hesitant, not the usual commanding baritone.

Dan nodded. “Television.”

“Shit.”

Ballard turned away, walking faster now, and waved his crew into a huddle. Dan couldn’t hear what they were saying, but they all turned to stare at the girl. Gordon and Ballard appeared to be arguing. Gordon shook his head and left the huddle to join Manny next to the girl. Dan watched Gordon lean toward Manny, speaking with quiet urgency. What was he telling him?

Ballard and the rest of the crew broke the huddle, moving with resolve. They picked up the concrete saw and the Hurst tool again.

Ballard raced over to the fire truck and opened a side compartment. He reached inside and pulled out a chainsaw.

Dan covered the radio handset with his hand. “What the hell…?”

“Not now.” Sorrow and shock warred on Ballard’s face. “Oh Christ, Dan, she…” He swallowed and wiped a hand across his cheeks. “Don’t say a word to the media when they get here.”

“But—”

“Not a goddamn word.” Ballard pointed toward the girl on the stretcher. “For her sake.”

He hustled away, carrying the chainsaw, and scooped up two empty body bags with his free hand. Then he hesitated, dropped them, and grabbed four smaller bags instead. Ballard followed his crew, disappearing into the hole in the concrete.

Confused, Dan looked at Gordon and Manny, standing over the girl’s stretcher. Manny was still smoothing the girl’s hair with one hand. As Gordon spoke to him, his hand slowed. Then it stopped moving, frozen in mid-air.

Manny slowly pulled his hand back, tucked it under his arm, and took a step away from the stretcher. Then he turned and stumbled after Gordon, who stalked away with angry strides.

Baffled by Manny’s withdrawal, Dan walked toward the girl. She looked so lost, so alone now. He put his hands in his pockets and stared at her blank, doll-like face.

Are you still trapped under there, Camilla Becker?

Inside her mind, was she still crawling through wreckage and flames, surrounded by the dead and the dying? He couldn’t imagine what she’d been through these last four days, or what kind of damage it had done to her. Had she given up, or was she still trying to find her way out of the darkness?

Her parents had been in the car with her, according to his clipboard. An only child. No next of kin listed. He didn’t know what Ballard and the others had seen when they found her family, but in fifteen years he had never seen those guys shaken like that.

Dan tilted his head, watching her. Maybe it’s a mercy if you never come back.

Then he frowned. Singing to herself yesterday, Manny said…

The girl was alive for a reason. She was a fighter.

Dan’s throat tightened. I gave up on you. I shouldn’t have. Manny’s right about me—I’ve been doing this so long, I’d lost hope. But you…

His vision blurred.

You’ve given me a reason to believe again, Camilla. I do think you’re going to find your way out of the darkness.

Something flickered in her expression.

Dan leaned closer, but it was only the red flashes from the arriving emergency vehicles reflected in her unseeing eyes. A long and difficult road lay ahead for her.

Despite himself, he reached out and touched her forearm in awe.

 

 

Chapter 2

J T

September 11, 2007

FOB Salerno, Northeastern Afghanistan

 

“T

he Valley of Death.”

Sanchez dropped his cigarette and ground it into the tarmac. “I should have guessed. The goddamn Korengal Valley.”

JT ignored him and squinted against the dust. He liked the kid, but Sanchez hadn’t been with 1st Force Recon in Iraq. He hadn’t been there for Fallujah.

Without turning around, JT raised his voice to be heard over the rotors. “DiMarco, what are we looking for out there?”

“Hell if I know. One-three brass wouldn’t say. Routine patrol, they told me.”

Predawn glow outlined the row of black AH-64 Apache helicopters that stretched into the distance. The 173rd would ferry them in-country in one of the larger Chinooks, though. Its dark bulk loomed behind him, dotted with pinpoints of red—running lights.

JT would have preferred the Apache’s firepower. Bringing in 1st Force Recon Marines for this operation meant something. This wasn’t a routine patrol.

The cool, dry desert air chilled his skin, but in a few hours it would be scorching. Six years today, he thought. Six years since the planes hit the towers and the world changed forever. He had joined the Corps that same afternoon, walking away from a full engineering scholarship at U.C. Berkeley, and had never regretted his decision.

Their pilot walked across the tarmac toward them. Alone. He climbed into the cockpit.

“Saddle up, gents.”

“Where’s your buddy?” JT asked.

“He’s in no shape to fly, Corporal. Birthday last night. I don’t want him puking in my cockpit.”

JT stared at him hard. “Regs say we don’t fly without a copilot. You better get on that radio.”

“I’ve got him logged as flight crew anyway, so we’re good.” The pilot looked flustered. JT had that effect on most people. “Cut him some slack. Brass doesn’t need to know he isn’t aboard, or he’s looking at a disciplinary.”

DiMarco’s voice cut the air. “Let it go, Corporal. Let it go.”

 

Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

 

“They stand there looking at you…” Sanchez leaned forward, a hand on his helmet. The beat of the rotors made him hard to hear. “You’re there helping ’em, right? Fixing the village’s water, treating the sick, talking to the elders, and whatnot. Winning hearts and minds—all that shit. And you know. You just know.”

JT watched the dark tree line of the Abas Ghar ridge slide by outside in the dim gray half-light. The kid was right, but so what? This was the new face of war. Get used to it.

Across from him, Collins nodded. “You see it in their eyes,” he said. “The ones hanging in back of the crowd. But you can’t do a goddamn thing about it. And then you’re heading back to base, you’re thinking, sniper? IED? Or full-on ambush this time?

The deck of the copter bounced under their feet.

“Stop your bitching,” JT said. “This is a holiday, after Iraq.”

DiMarco laughed. “At least these Taliban run away when you return fire. And they fall down when you hit ’em.”

JT leaned forward to slap Sanchez on the knee. “Fucking Fallujah was different. It was like Dawn of the Dead. Muj there were true believers, not like these sorry-asses. You’d blow their arms and legs off, they’d keep coming at you.”

“An IED took out a U.S. medical convoy,” DiMarco said. “The mujahideen got a huge stockpile of drugs off it. That’s what we were up against.”

JT nodded. “Muj were jacked on amphetamines, shooting up epinephrine—pure medical adrenaline. Word came down: head shots only. Waste of time shooting them anywhere else. I saw a guy get hosed by a SAW, musta’ been hit fifteen, twenty times. Didn’t even slow him down. I shot him five or six times myself. Nothing. Fucker was just laughing at us, shooting back. DiMarco had to take him out with an RPG.”

DiMarco leaned forward and bumped his own fist against JT’s dark knuckles. “Listen to the man. You guys are on vacation here. Relax.”

“What the hell?” The surprise in the pilot’s voice was alarming.

JT looked down at the valley floor. Shadows moved amid the cedar trees. Men and vehicles. A lot of them.

“That’s not right,” he said.

He reached over to smack DiMarco’s shoulder, but DiMarco had already seen them. He stared back at JT in confusion.

“Those aren’t—”

The Chinook lurched, and something wet sprayed the side of JT’s face. He whipped his head around to see the pilot slump sideways. A red fan spread across the ceiling above him.

“Shit,” Collins yelled. “We’re hit!”

JT’s eyes narrowed. He grabbed DiMarco’s tac vest, pulled him close, and leaned into his face.

“Let it go, DiMarco? Let it go?” He spoke very slowly, holding DiMarco’s eyes with his own. “No copilot now, motherfucker.”

“The IFF. Get the IFF on.” DiMarco’s voice was hoarse. “That’s an order, Corporal.”

JT shoved him away and unbuckled. The Chinook tilted sideways and nosed down, bouncing and shaking like a truck riding on cross ties. Bracing himself against the ceiling, the muscles of his arms bulging, he worked his way toward the cockpit.

Sparks drizzled from the overhead switch panel. Black smoke filled the cabin. JT could hear Sanchez behind him, speaking rapid Spanish. Praying. The air stank of sweat and fear.

The pilot was dead, no question about that. JT shoved him aside, and yanked back on the cyclic. The Chinook failed to respond. Through the canopy, the ridgeline slipped by beneath them, dropping away into the next valley. Enemy territory. He grabbed the radio handset.

“Mayday. Mayday.”

The radio was dead.

JT scanned the control board, locating the IFF beacon that DiMarco wanted. It would signal their location to friendlies. He flipped the switch, and a red light came on, blinking with a steady rhythm. Outside the glass canopy, the tree-dotted far wall of the valley filled his view, looming larger with every passing second.

Mounting a rescue operation would take hours, he knew—the enemy owned this valley. But first, he had to survive the crash, and they were coming down hard. He levered himself up and scrambled out of the cockpit, dragging the dead pilot behind him. Pulling himself up into his seat one-handed, he raced to buckle his harness and tighten his straps. He looked at Sanchez. The kid was mumbling, staring at the floor, face contorted with terror.

JT felt trickles of sweat rolling down his shaved head. He pulled the pilot up off the deck and draped the limp body over Sanchez’s lap and his own.

Sanchez jerked his head up and stared at JT rabbit eyed. He tried to shove the dead pilot off his knees.

JT pushed down with an elbow, holding the pilot in place.

“Crash padding,” he said.

He stretched his other arm past DiMarco, pulled the canvas first aid kit free, and hugged it to his chest, forcing it under his harness straps.

The Chinook tilted the other way, the whine of the rotors rising in pitch. The airframe shuddered, and JT heard the shriek of metal rending above them.

A rotor blade tore through the cabin, six feet from him, and DiMarco grunted. DiMarco’s lower body and legs darkened, drenched with blood. He stared at JT in shock.

JT looked at the injury and shook his head at DiMarco. Game over.

Disintegrating blades from the aft rotor slashed through the cabin walls, coming closer and closer. The Chinook’s tail slewed as the heavy craft autorotated on its remaining forward rotor. Liquid misted JT’s face, stinging his eyes. The smell of aviation fuel filled the air.

Collins coughed. “We’re fucked.”

The Chinook plunged beneath their feet.

Sanchez’s breath was coming in gasps. JT reached out and grabbed Sanchez’s hand. Sanchez looked at him, and the fear in his eyes gave way to gratitude. He matched JT’s solid grip with his own panicky one.

With his other hand, JT reached for Collins and held him steady.

Wind whipped through the cabin, blowing from the widening gap next to DiMarco.

JT’s gaze was drawn to the light of the IFF beacon. It blinked steadily, the red rhythm slow, almost lazy, as the wall of the valley grew larger and larger in the windscreen behind it. The beacon looked like a red eye winking at him.

Then the world shredded apart in a chaos of noise, motion, rock, and flying metal.

 

 

Chapter 3

Lauren

August 6, 2007

Trango Tower, Karakoram Range, Pakistan

 

T

he metal piton whistled past, nearly hitting Lauren King in the head. She looked over her shoulder and watched it fall away. The four-inch angled steel spike drifted down alongside the planet’s tallest vertical rock face, shrinking until it was lost from sight, invisible against the white ice of the Baltoro Glacier six thousand feet below.

Reflexively, Lauren hugged the granite tighter. She glanced up at her companions, and her eyes narrowed. God damn it, Terry.

After five days on the wall, all three of them were tired and clumsy, but Terry was coming apart now. He was going too fast, fumbling and dropping gear.

Trango’s summit, a fang of orange rock, rose far above them. Too far. Lauren took a deep breath and turned to stare out at the ice-laden peaks around them, lit by dawn’s pink rays: Uli Biaho, K2, Gasherbrum IV, Cathedral. Across the empty gulf of thin air, the neighboring spires looked close enough to touch. A cascade of fog poured through Cathedral’s saddle like a silent waterfall, dissipating in midair a thousand feet down. They were on the roof of the world. No room for mistakes up here.

Her eyes dropped again to the glacier, over a mile below. Straight down. Terry shouldn’t be leading this pitch—or any pitch on Trango. She’d seen him get in trouble trying to solo the Nose on El Cap. Dumb-ass was going to earn himself a Darwin Award, trying to climb five-fourteen. Why hadn’t he said no to this trip?

Lauren knew damn well why Terry had come, though. She had caught his puppy-dog glances all summer in Yosemite’s Camp 4. She’d noticed the way his voice changed whenever he talked to her.

Christ, Terry, it was never going to happen.

She wasn’t sure what it was about her that attracted men, but even back in her suburban Danville high school, she had been a source of fascination for many. Maybe it was her mixed heritage—the contrast between her half-Chinese features and the long, muscular limbs that let her do more pull-ups than the male jocks she routinely humiliated. Or maybe the go-to-hell look in her eyes was a challenge they just couldn’t ignore. But whatever the reason, she knew Terry would have said yes to any trip she was going on, no matter where.

She gritted her teeth and let go with one hand, shaking her fingers to loosen them. By touch, she double-checked the figure-eight knot that tied the safety line into her harness loop, then slid her hand up the rope. Her fingers traced it past her belly, chest and shoulder, gauging the slack. A hundred thirty feet of 10.8-millimeter red and gold bi-pattern rope connected her climbing harness to Matt, who had led the pitch above her as they simulclimbed, and was now belaying both her and Terry above him.

Her gaze followed the line up the wall, counting Matt’s pro—his protection: the chocks, cams, and pins that he had set into the rock every twenty feet and tied into. Hardware secured the rope at four spots between Matt and Lauren, ready to catch Matt if he fell.

Far above her, Matt met her eyes. He shook his head, pointing up at the top of their line, where Terry clung eighty feet above him.

Lauren turned away. Don’t look at me, cowboy. This wasn’t my idea.

She dipped her fingers into the bag of climbing chalk hanging from the back of her waist harness, and reached for the next hold: a narrow flake of orange granite two feet above her head.

She looked at her hands, gripping the rock. Those large, square, unfeminine hands, with their knobby knuckles and strong fingers, were her deadbeat father’s. As a child, she had been ashamed of her hands. When Lauren was twelve, her mom had laid a dainty hand atop the back of Lauren’s own and nicknamed her “Mi-Go,” which meant “yeti”—the abominable snowman.

Those hands had gotten her in trouble, too—suspended in her sophomore year for breaking Sarah Calloway’s nose in the locker room. But Lauren wasn’t going to let a fucking cheerleader call her “Sasquatch” behind her back. Not after “Mi-Go.”

It had been a revelation to discover that her hands were perfectly designed for gripping and pinching and jamming invisible routes on rock that defied all other challengers. Her hands were the only thing she had ever been able to count on; people always disappointed her, sooner or later.

Lauren shifted a foot, smearing the smooth rubber of her climbing shoe against a granite nub, and pushed herself higher to bring her face level with Matt’s first piece of pro.

Her eyes widened.

The piton Matt had clipped their rope into was a dull, tarnished gray instead of green-painted chrome-moly steel like the ones dangling from Lauren’s own harness. She knew what that meant. Matt and Terry were both rushing. They were reusing old pro, tying into hardware the last team of climbers had left behind five years ago, instead of placing their own. Her chest tightened.

You know better than this, Matt. You taught me, remember?

After five seasons of water melting and freezing in the rock, expanding and contracting in all the little fissures, the old pro couldn’t be trusted.

Lauren braced herself against the rock face. She grabbed the carabiner clipping their rope to the piton’s eyehole, looped two fingers through the three-inch aluminum D-ring, and yanked. To her horror, the old pin pulled free from the crack, grating in the silence.

The piton dangled from her fingers, trailing the arc of limp rope. Three more pieces of hardware dotted the rock between her and Matt, and four between Matt and Terry. Lauren grimaced, knowing the rest of the pro above her was probably no good, either.

Nice going, team.

She looked up. High above her, Terry’s leg slipped, and her stomach clenched. He was losing it, which didn’t surprise her, but the bad pro meant that if he fell now, he would zipper the rope off the wall and take Matt with him. They would both drop, ripping out all seven pieces above her, and then the rope tied to Lauren’s harness would be the only thing connecting Matt and Terry to the face.

Her heart accelerated, thudding wildly in her chest. They would pull her off the wall, too.

Matt waved an arm, calling instructions down to her. His voice was bright with urgency, the words just senseless noise to her ears. Lauren shut him out and pressed her cheek against the cold orange rock. She could feel her teammates’ jerky movements vibrating down the rope. It felt like the first gentle trickles of snow that signaled the coming avalanche.

The moment she’d been dreading for days was finally here. But maybe they still had a chance of surviving this.

Matt had been impatient with her all morning, saying she was taking too long to clean the route and pull the gear behind them. What Lauren hadn’t told him was that she was trailing a second rope, looped through a Petzl GriGri as a self-belay. She was taking the time to sink her own anchors, sacrificing gear as they went. She was violating every principle of clean climbing because she had seen something like this coming.

But how much pro had she left in place below her right now?

Her eyes followed her self-belay rope down the granite wall. The loop dangled from her harness, hanging loosely for fifty feet to where she had threaded it through cams she’d placed in the rock. Another forty feet below that, the loop’s end was tied through angle pins she had worked into a Y-shaped crack. That was it. That was all of her pro, the climber’s protection supposed to catch her if she fell.

Fucking Matt. If it hadn’t been for his stupid bitching that she was slowing the pace, she’d have placed more of her own gear. A lot more.

Lauren gritted her teeth and ignored the scrabbling sounds and movements above her. Her breath came in shallow pants, leaving chuffs of icy vapor hanging in the still air.

Would her backup pro be enough to hold all three of them? If not, they would drop a vertical mile. Thirty seconds of free fall, conscious the whole way. Then they would crater into a pink smudge on the glacier.

Ignoring Matt’s panicked shouts, Lauren looked at her hands again. They had never failed her, the way other people always did. Maybe they could save her now.

If there was enough time, she could sink more gear, tie herself to the wall.

Letting go with her left hand, she groped amongst the nuts and cams hanging from her harness belt until her trembling fingers closed around a climber’s “friend.” She quickly wedged the safety device into the crack, and its opposing cams expanded to lock into place. She reached for another and jammed it right above the first. She frantically threaded her harness rope through both of them. Her fingers flew, tying a clove hitch one-handed. She needed more time.

But there was no time left. The lead rope slackened suddenly as Terry came off the wall high above her. Lauren pressed her cheek against the cold granite again, seeing the speckled rock in high relief. She listened hard but heard nothing other than the fear-monster’s roar, the sound of blood rushing in her ears.

Matt had gotten them into this because he couldn’t admit she was a better climber than he ever was. That’s really why we’re up here, isn’t it, Matt? She forced her fingers into motion again, and grabbed a fixed nut, still attached to her harness loop. She wedged the hex nut into the crack at her waist.

Slamming more hardware in as fast as she could, she strained to hear.

When the sound came, she felt it thrum through the rope: the high, innocuous ping of Terry’s first anchor pulling free from the rock. A couple seconds later, there came another metallic ping, followed almost immediately by a third. The lead rope was unzipping.

Her rope went taut and she was jerked up hard against the rock. Terry had torn Matt away from the face, too.

Terry plummeted past. He flashed by in Lauren’s peripheral vision in eerie silence. Her hands scrabbled for a final death grip on the granite.

So none of this is your fault, Lauren? Really?

She thrust the unwelcome thought away.

Ping! That’s four.

Ping! Five.

The thrums were coming through the rope faster now, the anchors tearing out more violently as gravity sucked her teammates toward the earth.

Ping! Something sparked off the rock next to her face, sprinkling her chin with rock splinters. Part of an anchor cam.

Lauren’s eyes widened. They were shattering to pieces.

Matt plunged past, trailing the rope that connected them. His fingers almost touched her shoulder.

Ping! Last one.

She took a shuddering breath and locked every muscle rigid. She tried to melt herself into the rock, feeling her face contort into a tight mask of fear.

The rope through her harness ripped her away from the wall, yanking her downwards in a violent spray of broken cams and metal fragments, like she had been hit by a truck. Pain exploded through her chest and back as she tumbled head over heels into empty space.

Had she slowed them enough for the rest of her pro to catch them?

Her helmet struck the wall. She heard it fracture. A band of pain gripped her head. Sky and rock spun past over and over again. Her own self-belay rope looped thru the air behind her—when it snapped taut a hundred feet down, would her last two anchors hold?

I’m twenty-three.

She was dragged earthwards. Loose rope tangled her arms and legs.

I’ve barely done anything with my life.

The wall blurred past just out of reach.

I’ve never been in love.

Lauren gave herself fully to her terror.

I don’t want to die.

 

 

Chapter 4

Brent

December 26, 2004

Ton Sai Bay, Koh Phi Phi Island, Thailand

 

T

he green waters rolled back, parting like a curtain to reveal a scene of utter devastation. Brent Wilson looked at his wife and son, standing on either side of him. He gripped their hands in his and held them tight as the three stood together on the fourth-floor hotel balcony, watching the waters recede.

The sea drained away from the narrow isthmus, pouring down the beaches on both sides. The churning waves drew wreckage in their wake: capsized long-tail boats, bamboo roofs, lounge chairs, beach umbrellas. And people. Hundreds of bodies swirled amid the flotsam—men, women, children—some struggling, but most limp and still.

Brent closed his eyes for a moment. So many dead.

Tourists and Thai villagers alike had been swept along when the tsunami’s twin waves surged up the crescent-shaped beaches that lined either side of the island. The two waves had come together in the crowded strip of palm trees between the two beaches, where Ton Sai village’s shops and restaurants clustered thickest. Most of the structures were gone now, dismantled by the crushing weight of water.

There had been no warning.

“Dad, the people that were on the beach—why didn’t they run away?”

Brent heard his son’s voice crack. They had booked this family trip months ago, to celebrate Brent’s fiftieth birthday. He put an arm around the boy’s shoulders and hugged him tight. In the face of the tragedy below, he seemed so young, so vulnerable. Fifteen—almost an adult, but in so many ways still a child. Had Brent been the same way at his age?

“I was watching them, Dad. When the bay emptied and all the boats beached, some of them actually ran closer—chasing the waterline out. Why would they do that? Didn’t they know the water would come rushing back? I saw a woman pulling her kids forward. Didn’t she realize they were going to die?”

Brent shared a glance with Mary. After twenty-four years of marriage, he could read the question behind her troubled look. Will he be all right? her eyes asked. How badly will this scar our son?

He took a deep breath. That was part of the problem, of course: she sheltered their son too much. But there were things he would soon have to face. They all would. He released the boy and tried to answer his question.

“It’s human nature, son. Evolution. Most of us aren’t wired for survival anymore.”

“I don’t understand. They weren’t panicking or anything. They just stood there.”

Brent laid a hand on the boy’s shoulder and squeezed. “That happens. It’s what nine out of ten people do in an emergency. They get confused, freeze up. I see it all the time as a doctor.”

The boy nodded, unable to tear his eyes away from the carnage down below.

Brent looked over at Mary again. She was holding his black medical bag.

“Let’s go,” she said. “Grab as many blankets and sheets as you can carry. I’ll help with triage.”

He smiled. His face felt tight. He stepped over and hugged his wife, taking the bag from her. “I love you, Mary.”

He knew she was strong, and she would need to be—but for a different reason than what they now faced today.

“I keep thinking of that family with the flower shop.” Mary stripped the blankets from the bed and bundled them in her arms. “They were so nice to us. All these people are. I hope they’re all right.”

“Come on.” Brent turned to his son. “We’ve got work to do.”

Mary stiffened. “No. He should stay here. It’ll be bad…”

He put a hand on her arm. “It’s better if we do this as a family.”

 

Ÿ Ÿ Ÿ

 

The first floor of the hotel was awash with sodden debris. The expansive lobby on the second floor had been converted to a field hospital. The injured lay in rows, covered by blankets and sheets. Next door, they had set up a makeshift morgue in the shell of a restaurant. Outside, seabirds split the air with raucous cries, swooping down to feast on the bounty of stranded fish that flopped amid the wet wreckage. Urgency distorted the shouts of rescuers, lending a grim cadence to the singsong Thai voices. Rescue parties brought a steady stream of casualties to both buildings.

The other doctors and volunteers deferred automatically to Brent, because of his ER experience and silver hair but also because his height and stocky shoulders cut an imposing figure among the shorter, slighter Thai. He had taken charge, directing the emergency treatment and rescue efforts.

The morgue was filling fast as well.

Brent finished stabilizing his current patient, a Thai man with two broken legs. Many of the injured had lower-extremity lacerations and breaks caused by wave-borne debris. The less fortunate had been struck higher on their bodies or crushed in the grinding wreckage. He could hear helicopters outside, ferrying the worst injured to the mainland.

He stood up and tucked his hands into his vest pockets. They had done some good here. He looked around for his son and spotted him by the window. He looked pale. He was doing fine, though, helping where he could. Brent’s chest swelled in a burst of bittersweet pride. He walked over and surprised the boy with a heartfelt hug.

“Where’s your mom?”

“She’s trying to track down some antibiotics. We ran out.” The boy suddenly pointed out the window. “Look, that guy over there in the orange baseball cap, helping search. When the water started going out, I saw him, Dad. Everyone else just stood there, but he climbed up in that big mango tree.”

“A survivor-type.” He looked at the man his son had indicated: a short Thai with skinny arms and bad teeth. Nothing noteworthy about the man’s appearance. Brent observed him closely. “About one out of ten people is an instinctive survivor, who somehow always seems to beat the odds. This guy… well, we can learn a lot from people like that.”

“What makes survivors different?”

“Nobody really knows.” He continued to watch the man in the baseball cap with rapt attention. “Genetics, upbringing—these things are certainly factors. But there’s no test for it, other than a real life-or-death situation like this.”

Sa-was-dee krup, Doctor Brent.” The hotel manager stood nearby. He dipped his head in a respectful half bow. “We found a young girl. She is in very bad shape. Please, maybe you can save her.”

Brent followed the hotel manager out. He glanced back at his son, a silhouette standing by the window. The boy looked insubstantial.

Son, I don’t know what it takes to be a survivor. But I’m afraid I’m going to need to learn.

The icy ball of fear shifted in the pit of Brent’s stomach again. It had become his constant companion lately. He hadn’t told them yet. He had actually planned to break the news today, but nature had had other plans. He would have to wait a few more days now.

Brent thought about the moment, three weeks ago, when he and the fear had first become inseparable. Steve, the radiologist, had been unusually quiet, making none of his jokes. He had brought the CAT scan up on the screen, and Brent had seen the unmistakable signs: the irregular lumps and winding white tendrils where there should only be gray. The icy ball had rooted itself in his abdomen then, although his outward reaction had been angry and immediate.

“There’s some sort of mistake. You fucked this up somehow.” Brent had heard the irrationality of his own reasoning even as he spoke. “That can’t be me, Steve. I’m a doctor.”

 

PART II

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Continued….

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Jeremy Roberts is suddenly a stranger in his own body with no memory of his life. When he discovers he’s entangled in an unsolved tragedy, he must mount a high-stakes investigation to rescue someone he can’t remember.

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Chapter 1 – Jeremy

 

This time it happened without much warning. I had to jump quickly in Quincy Market, at a shoe store. The switch was much faster than usual. I didn’t have much time to choose.

It’s been about a minute since the transition. I feel dizzy and a little off balance as I stand among shoppers who are focused on a man lying on the floor. Damian Murdoch had lost consciousness and collapsed. His wife, Carrie, is frantic and screaming for someone to call 9-1-1. There’s chaos in the store.

I feel something in my back pocket; it must be a wallet. The distraction gives me time to quickly take it out and look through its contents. There’s a Massachusetts driver’s license in Jeremy Roberts’ name with a home address shown as Heath Street in Brookline. There are some credit cards, cash, a few business cards, and an emergency contact card with a name, Jennifer Roberts, her phone number, and an e-mail address containing the name Jen.

The ambulance arrives in minutes, followed by the police. The woman standing beside me must be Jennifer, or maybe she calls herself Jen. Before the switch, she and Jeremy were talking to each other in a way that couples do in stores. I had sensed a profound grief within them.

The paramedics ask for everyone to clear the area as they tend to Damian. As he starts to come to, he mumbles something to Carrie, who is bending over beside him, crying. I had loved Carrie deeply. Damian will be okay.

Jennifer whispers to me, “Come on, let’s go home.”

I hesitate. I don’t want to leave Carrie. I won’t see her again. Jennifer takes my numb hand and starts to lead me away. I stumble, almost falling to the floor as I experience initial coordination problems. Jennifer tries to grab me as my hand slips from hers. She calls out my name with a gasp. I regain my balance and reach for her hand.

“What’s the matter?” she asks.

“I’m not sure, I feel a little dizzy.” In actual fact, much of my body has no feeling. As usual, for the first few moments of a transition, the neural messages being exchanged between my body and brain are not fully engaged.

“Do you want to sit down for a bit?”

“No, it’s ok, I don’t think it’s anything, Jen. Maybe that guy falling to the floor got me a little woozy.” Hopefully, she is Jennifer.

“Why are you calling me Jen?”  She seems surprised.

I have nothing. I often have nothing at the beginning. I’ve learned that silence gets filled with information. Silence is powerful. Moments pass. Jennifer gives me more information.

“You haven’t called me Jen for years. What’s with you?” It is her.

I remain silent. Jennifer continues. “Are you okay? Do you think another migraine’s coming on?”

The opportunity. “Yes.”

“I better drive home,” she says firmly.

I’m relieved. At this point, I wouldn’t know where to go. She puts her arm around my waist, trying to give me support as we start to slowly walk out of the store. With each step, the neural pathways are connecting and I’m beginning to feel sensations in my limbs.

“I think I’m okay now,” I say as we reach the street. I concentrate on each step as I awkwardly place one foot in front of the other, trying to keep my balance.

I take her arm from my waist and hang on to her hand as she walks slightly ahead of me. As she proceeds, she looks back at me struggling to walk in a straight line.

“Jeremy, what’s wrong? You look drunk!”

“I’m just a little woozy. Let me sit down for a bit.”

We go to the curb where I sit. As the moments pass, I can feel sensations growing throughout my body. A few more minutes and it will be complete.

“The paramedics are still in the store. Do you want them to have a look at you?”

“No, I’m sure I’ll be all right in a minute or so. It’s probably just this migraine thing coming on. Let’s give it a couple of minutes. If I’m still dizzy, we’ll go see them.”

My new voice is deeper than Damian’s. It sounds odd as I talk. I clear my throat to hear the sound again.

After a couple of minutes, I feel complete and stand up. “I’m alright, let’s go to the car.”

Jennifer leads the way. I study her as she walks ahead. She’s a beautiful woman, five feet seven or so, high cheekbones, straight black hair formed into a ponytail threaded through the back of a pink Nike ball cap. Her aqua blue eyes, tanned skin, blue denim shorts, pink tank top, and immaculate white sneakers with the pink swoosh is a look that you’d see on a Nike commercial. She must be in her early forties, a very feminine woman in perfect shape.

I watch her every move and take in all of the cues that she’s unknowingly sending as she walks. To me, these signals are giant billboards indicating intention, feeling, and even thought. The way someone walks, how they move their feet, swing their arms, position their head, and even move their eyes can clearly reveal their level of comfort or stress, confidence, and their emotional state. My success has depended on my ability to read these nonverbal cues.

At first glance, Jennifer seems to walk like a confident woman. However, with a closer look, I can detect that she’s unsettled. Her overall posture, expressions, hesitations, and the way she touches her hair, suggest that something emotionally significant is happening within her. Is it related to the grief feelings I felt in both her and Jeremy before the transition?

Jennifer walks toward a white Mercedes SL, presses one of the keys, and the trunk lid pops open. She places the Nine West bag inside and closes the trunk. With another press of the key, the doors unlock. As I struggle to coordinate my limbs to get into the passenger seat, she asks, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, my back’s a little stiff, that’s all.”

“Can I put the top down?”

I nod. She presses a button and the trunk cover whirs to attention, gradually lifting open. The roof begins its folding dance and gently places itself into the front part of the trunk. The cover silently closes with no hint that the entire metal roof is hidden within. I watch as Jennifer adjusts the mirrors and seat. In one smooth movement, she belts herself in and starts the car with the push of a button. Her hands are beautifully manicured—clear polish on firm nails. She moves the car confidently away from the curb, narrowly missing the bumper of the Honda in front of us.

As she drives away, she says, “That poor man. I wonder whether he had a heart attack. Why didn’t anyone give him CPR?”

“I think I saw him breathing; it didn’t look like he needed CPR.” I knew exactly what had happened. “I’m sure he’ll be okay.”

“How can you say that? It could have been a stroke!”

I respond with a shrug.

“It’s interesting that it took no time for the police to arrive. I wish she had gotten such quick attention,” Jennifer says with a sarcastic tone.

Not sure what she means by that. I stay silent.

I close my eyes and place my hand on my forehead, feigning a migraine as Jennifer drives us home. I take this time to think about my new life. What lies before me? How quickly will I figure out my objective? Do Jennifer and Jeremy love each other? Do they have children? What’s the nature of the grief that I had felt within them? These are all pieces of the puzzle that I will have to figure out to help them navigate through their despair.

***

I do not know my name; I do not know how old I am. I have memories of thousands of people from countries and cultures around the world, but I can’t remember anything about me. As I often do at the beginning of a transition, I start asking the questions that I can never answer. How did all of this start? Who am I? Where is home? Where is my family? Do I even have a family? It’s all a puzzle and I am no closer to the answer than I ever was.

The one thing I do know is that today, and for some time to come, I am Jeremy Roberts. This morning, the tingling in my hands was the sign that the process was beginning. As always, I was not sure when or where it would occur, but I knew I had to act quickly. I needed to get to a busy place with many people. I asked Carrie if she wanted to go with me to the market.    

For some reason, this time I felt that I wouldn’t have much control over timing. As soon as we arrived, it began. Carrie wanted to go to the shoe store. I followed her in. As she was paying for her sandals, the tingling—which feels like a very mild electrical shock that starts in my hands—encompassed my entire body. It can happen very quickly.

During a transition, for a brief period of time, I feel compassion for everyone physically near me. The feeling takes over my mind and body as if I’m in a thousand places at the same time. This morning I could clearly hear all the noise, conversations, and even whispers around me. I could see everything in my surroundings and smell the scents of Quincy Market: the food, perfume, body odor, garbage, Boston harbor, and even the rotting spills on the sidewalk. I took it all in.

I sensed all of the emotion—all of the pain, happiness, frustration, and sadness—within the people at the market on this Saturday morning in June. My transitions last for seconds only, yet it always seems much longer to me. It ends when I land. Jeremy and Jennifer were nearby. I felt a deep sense of sorrow and grief within them. I had to make a decision. I targeted Jeremy because of his anguish. It had to be him.

Then it happened. I jumped from Damian to Jeremy.

 

The sunlight strobes through the trees as Jennifer drives up Huntington Avenue. Billowing cotton clouds form in the summer’s blue sky. It’s a beautiful day for the beginning of this new life experience. Jennifer’s cell phone rings. She picks it up to her ear.

“Hi, sweetie. Hold on for a sec. Let me put in my earpiece.”

She puts in the Bluetooth ear bud and continues the conversation. “Where are you? Is Jeff with you? Are you coming home for dinner?”

It sounds like she’s talking to one of her children. As she continues the conversation, I discreetly reach for Jeremy’s wallet. I look through the contents once again, searching for more clues. I find his business card—Roberts & Levin Consulting Company, Jeremy Roberts, CPA, President—with phone number, address, e-mail and website. Jeremy is an accountant.

As I look through the wallet, I notice my hands—Jeremy’s hands. It’s strange when first looking at my hands in a new host. They always look and feel odd at the beginning. I can sense them as if they’re mine, but they look like someone else’s. They’re larger, a little rougher, and seem older than Damian’s. As I stare at them, I’m having difficulty controlling their movements while going through the contents of the wallet. Manipulating the papers and cards is awkward. If I look away and allow my hands to feel through the wallet, my dexterity returns. It will take me some time to coordinate what I see and how I feel in this new body.

I take out a photo from the inside pocket of the wallet; a frayed, worn picture of four people sitting on a sofa next to a Christmas tree. It looks like a younger Jennifer and Jeremy with two children. I put down the sun visor and look into the mirror. It feels like someone is looking at me but it’s my image being reflected back. Jeremy’s piercing blue eyes are staring at me. Even now, after so many transitions, it still feels unreal to look at a new ‘me’ in a mirror. I put back the visor.

I focus on that family photo again. The two little girls are maybe ages eight and ten. I assume they are Jeremy and Jennifer’s daughters. There are two other pictures in the wallet, one of a girl in her early twenties, wearing a cap and gown. She looks very much like a grown-up version of the younger girl in the family photo. She’s very pretty, with blonde hair and a huge smile. She looks so proud.

The other picture is of another young woman, perhaps in her mid-twenties, dark hair, standing in front of what looks like Niagara Falls. There’s some resemblance to the older child in the Christmas family picture. She looks remarkably like Jennifer and quite beautiful as well. On the back, there’s some writing: I love you, Daddy. Thanks for all of your help. – Jessie.

Jennifer continues her conversation as I pretend to organize the wallet. I listen carefully to her words. There’s some tension in how she’s speaking. Her intonations, mannerisms, and how her thumb plays with her wedding band confirms that she’s talking to one of her children; one of the girls in the pictures?

I take a chance. “Is that Jessie?”

She glances over at me with a surprised look and narrowed eyes that seem to be screaming. “It’s Sandy, Sandy, for God’s sake!”

Now that was a mistake. I should have known better. All these years have taught me to wait and take in much more information before offering anything other than a neutral statement. Something is terribly wrong. Why such a negative response? I look away from Jennifer, but listen intently over the noise of the wind blowing through my hair.

Jennifer lowers her voice and says, “He asked if you were Jessie. Can you believe it? I know, I know, but still…”

Jennifer stops talking about me while continuing the conversation. It’s hard to hear, but I think they’re talking about plans for the weekend—shopping and various topics. She’s not offering me any more clues.

Through my closed eyes, the bright pulsating sun creates flashes of light, and abstract images race through my mind. I think of Carrie. I didn’t know it at the time, but last night would be our last time together. It was late, maybe one in the morning. We were in bed talking, sipping wine, and listening to an Al Jerreau CD. After making love, we were still locked onto each other, our legs intertwined. With her head on my chest, Carrie looked into my eyes and whispered, “I have never loved you more.” We kissed and fell asleep.

I will miss her dearly. A wave of heavy sadness and apprehension washes over me as I find myself awkwardly sitting next to this new stranger, Jennifer, in the body of her husband Jeremy, whom I know nothing about.

After Jennifer finishes her conversation with Sandy, she turns to me and says, “What the hell were you thinking?”

I don’t respond. I wait for more information. None comes forth. We are quiet for the rest of the drive to the house. I hold my hand to my head, hoping that my error will be perceived as a result of my supposed migraine. I feel tension with Jennifer. I don’t know enough yet to begin any conversation with her.

 

***

        

         I do not have Jeremy’s memories or his expectations, worries, realities, dreams, or ambitions. I do not know any of the people in his life, their history, or their connection to him. I know nothing about his work or his finances.

For now though, I am him. I will be living in his world for some time. Although my life as Jeremy is now an empty canvas, his family, friends, and colleagues will soon paint it with colorful and intricate images. Their conversations, nonverbal cues, and even their touch will reveal their expectations of me. And from that, I will learn much about him.

I will have to learn all about his world quickly. Jennifer’s interaction with me is already giving me clues and is kick-starting my quest for information. When I arrive at their home, there will be a wealth of information about Jeremy and Jennifer’s lives that I will gather from their files, computers, and other clues that I will discover.

It will be my starting point towards understanding his life, and discovering my objective.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2 – Home

Jennifer drives down Heath Street, in a beautifully area that contrasts with the high-density neighborhoods that we drove through from Boston. We pass entrances to large estates and barely visible mansions in this wealthy enclave. We turn onto a long driveway of a contemporary home set back from the street. Perfectly placed old oak trees line the crushed-stone drive. Curiously, there is a yellow ribbon on the first oak tree. I look at it as we go by.

The driveway splits into a circular turnaround passing in front of the entrance. A sculpture of a child with water cascading over a protecting umbrella is at the center of a well-manicured lawn. The fountain creates relaxing white noise as we approach. We stop at the parking area on the left side of the entrance. Jennifer parks next to a black Lexus.

I look at the construction of the stone and brick building and presume it has replaced an older structure. The mature oaks give away the property’s history. The new building seems to have been erected in the footprint of the old home. It fits the setting perfectly.

As we get out of the car, Jennifer coolly says, “I want to finish the conversation that we started this morning.” She seems emotionless and dry, like she’s reading the news.

“Sure, but I’d like to lie down for a few minutes first.” I’m hoping to buy some time to look around the house.

“Remember to take your Maxalt, I’ll meet you on the patio in a half hour. We’ll have a light lunch before my appointments this afternoon.” I nod.

We enter through the large oak double front door, which opens onto an impressive foyer. I quickly glance around to get my bearings. Light-colored birch floors lead to a majestic staircase just ahead on the left. I take in all of the images and create a mental map of the home. A central floor plan—living room to the left, dining room to the right, the kitchen must be just off to the right, behind the dining room. I can see a den just ahead beyond the staircase. There must be a study or library to the left of the den. The house is eight to ten thousand square feet, vintage 1990s, high-end.

There are probably five bedrooms upstairs with a large master bedroom overlooking the backyard. If there’s a bedroom for each of Jeremy and Jennifer’s two daughters, I suspect that one of the remaining rooms will be an office. Hopefully that’s where I’ll find the family’s files. If not, they’ll be in the master bedroom, in the study next to the den downstairs, or possibly in the basement. Files are key. I have to find them to learn more about my new life.

The house is immaculate, and understated yet elegant. A Latina woman greets us.

“Good morning, Señor Roberts.”

“Morning,” I respond, then wait to take my cue from Jennifer.

Jennifer asks, “Carmella, could you please make us a salad with a scoop of tuna?”

“Si,” Carmella responds.

I look at Jennifer. “I’m going to lie down upstairs. See you in a half hour.”

She walks off toward the kitchen with no response. She isn’t happy. I suspect that the upcoming conversation will reveal what’s bothering her. I hope that I’m able to find something during my preliminary search to help me through that discussion.

I walk upstairs and instinctively know where I’m going. I enter the large master bedroom to the right of the stairs. It’s painted a muted green with a dark blue accent wall that’s a backdrop to the king-size four-poster bed. It’s a very large room, and it too is immaculate.

There are night tables on either side of the bed, a large plasma TV on the opposite wall, and a matching lounge chair and sofa in the corner of the room, positioned to view the TV. A large blue-green modern art painting hangs above the bed. I walk through the glass doorway to the master en suite. The ultra-modern bathroom leads to a balcony overlooking a large backyard, which has a pool and tennis court. I can see the balcony stretching along the back of the house.

I leave the bathroom and go back into the bedroom. An open door between the TV and bathroom leads me to a huge wardrobe room, which I suspect was a converted bedroom. The back wall has floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors leading out to the back balcony. The room is painted to match the bedroom and c­­onsists of built-in closet doors that are tinted in the same colors as the corresponding walls but in a high-gloss finish. The doors respond to a slight push of the finger. They open smoothly and silently, as if by remote control.

I push one of the green doors and it reveals drawers of women’s underwear, hosiery, and scarves. As I search for documents, I open and close all of the closet doors, which conceal many drawers, hanging clothes, and cupboards. There must be fifteen green closet doors. There are fewer doors in the blue area, and they open to reveal men’s clothes—Jeremy’s clothes.

There’s a makeup area in the corner of the room, complete with a large white desk, upholstered chair, and a mirror framed by round white light bulbs, Hollywood style. A set of stand-up mirrors next to the desk are set at oblique angles to view all sides of one’s body, similar to what you would find in a clothing store.

Positioning myself in front of the stand-up mirrors, I take a long look at my new image and study my features. Jeremy is about six feet tall and fit—a good-looking man with a solid jaw, and a full head of light brown hair that is graying at the temples, combed slightly off to the side, with a part. His looks remind me of President Kennedy. I touch my face and hair. I smile, stretching my lips to see this new image respond. Like always, it feels awkward at the beginning.

I move an arm and reposition my body. I watch the image in the mirror move. It looks like someone else in the mirror is copying me. Eventually I will see me in the mirror, but now I’m seeing a stranger. Right now, I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience—which, of course, is exactly what’s happening. It will take time for me to feel one with my new body.

I turn away from the mirror and move on.

I go back to the closets and open more doors, looking for files, notebooks, papers, or anything that I can use for information. I find nothing, but that doesn’t surprise me. Jennifer and Jeremy’s home is obsessively neat. Everything seems to have its place, and this room is clearly designated wardrobe only.

I leave the dressing room through a door that leads me back to the hallway. A quick glance around reveals a bedroom next to the dressing room. Across the hall, there appears to be two more rooms on either side of a bathroom.

I enter the bedroom next door, which is obviously a girl’s room, painted in pink with purple linens. There’s an adjoining bathroom, which, like the bedroom, is very messy. Sliding glass doors on the far wall also open onto that long connecting balcony. I scan the contents of the room, taking in as much as I can. I see a B.A. diploma from Boston University in the name of Sandy Roberts, hanging on a wall. There are a few unopened letters on the desk addressed to Sandy. Pictures of friends are randomly scattered on the walls.

At the top and stretching along the length of one wall, there’s a red Boston University banner that reads, “Go BU!” There’s also a single large photo just over the bed. It’s the same image that I have in my wallet of Jessie in front of the falls. A large yellow ribbon is taped to the window.

I leave Sandy’s room and cross the hall to one of the rooms on either side of the bathroom. The yellow room is immaculate, as if no one sleeps there. The queen bed is covered with a green patterned comforter and loaded with neatly placed colorful pillows and stuffed animals. Awards and diplomas in Jessie Roberts’s name are on the walls of the bedroom. A Cornell University banner with large lettering saying, “Go BIG!” is hanging along the top of one wall, just like the banner in Sandy’s room. I smile. There must be quite a school competition between the girls.

There are pictures of high school and college kids perfectly aligned on the walls, as well as many pictures of dogs and cats. There’s a large National Geographic poster of a male lion hanging over the bed. It is sitting under a tree on a grassy area, with its large, beautiful green eyes staring into the camera, as if posing.

There are two long shelves mounted on the wall between the entrance and the bathroom door. Each shelf is dedicated to a different sport. On the top shelf are ten or fifteen trophies of different sizes with little metal images of people in karate positions. Most say first place, and a few say second. Just below that shelf are two certificates in Jessie’s name: Karate Black Belt, First Dan and Karate Black Belt, Second Dan. The second shelf is full of similar trophies for fencing. Pictures under that shelf show someone, I presume Jessie, in various fencing positions, wearing a protective helmet with a full-face screen cover.

I feel odd in this room; something’s just not right. I experience a deep sense of sadness. I look around and can’t get a handle on what’s causing my unease. I leave the room feeling quite uncomfortable. I know I will soon find out why.

As I had expected, the room on the other side of the bathroom is an office. It’s very neat. There’s a large mahogany desk with two drawers on either side of a leather chair. A silver MacBook laptop computer is sitting in the center of the desk. A notebook-sized calendar is lying just to the right of the laptop. The only other items on the desk are a green glass and bronze banker’s light and a wireless phone in its dock. I open the drawers of the desk. They are neat and contain some pens, paper clips, and odds and ends; nothing of significance.

There’s a comfortable reading area in the corner of the room, with a leather armchair and a brass stand-up reading light. Modern artwork adorns the grey wall behind the desk, as does a CPA certificate. Jeremy’s degree in economics, from Boston University, issued in 1984, and his MBA degree from Columbia Business School, 1987, are hanging on the opposite wall. Beside them, there’s an award of recognition in Jeremy’s name, dated 2009, issued by the Big Brothers and Sisters of Massachusetts, acknowledging Jeremy’s “hard work and dedication” to the organization.

As I open the closet, I hear Jennifer calling me. “Jeremy, did you take your Maxalt yet?”

“No,” I call down. “Just about to.”

No response.

I see a large four-drawer file cabinet in the closet and a standing safe on the floor—a treasure trove of information. I open the top drawer of the file cabinet and take out the first file. They’re all alphabetized. Automobile Association of America is the first one. I scan its contents, and, within seconds, it’s memorized.

***

Over the years, I have jumped thousands of times and explored the minds of people from all over the world. I’m continually astonished at the distinctive nature of an individual brain, which is as unique as a fingerprint. I have come to understand that our sensations, experiences, and thoughts are unique to each individual. The perception of color for instance, is a subjective experience, different from one person to the next. The color of red does not look the same to everyone. Although we associate a particular visual image as red, the actual sensation of red that we experience is uniquely different for each person.

Our sensation of smell is also subjective. The smell of a rose can be very sweet to one but less sweet or even pungent to another. The perception of the sound of music can be so dissimilar between people, that when I’ve heard the same song in the minds of more than one person, the song can sound completely different. I can identify the song by its melody, words, and beat, but the actual sensation that it creates in my mind is entirely unique to the brain of my host.

This diversity of neural processing may explain why people are so different in terms of their approach to the world. What is beautiful and emotional to one may not create the same impact to another. These differences may explain why some people are artistic while others are athletic, why some can learn languages easily while others cannot.

Mind jumping has given me a gift. I am able to use my experience dealing with the diverse brain patterns and neurological processing that I have experienced to create an optimum way of using my host’s brain.

Examples of this are the encyclopedic and photographic memory capabilities that I have developed over the years. My encyclopedic memory allows me to remember every detail and image that I have ever seen or experienced. My photographic memory enables me to scan and store images holistically, and only when I want to see the details of an image, are those details processed by my brain. It’s my version of data compression. It’s like looking at a downtown street scene, taking a snapshot of it in my mind, and then, at a later time, bringing up that image to look for the smallest details.

I can scan documents extraordinarily fast—many times faster than an electronic scanner. I’m able to take in and process information on a written page at a glance, and when I quickly scroll down a website on a computer, I can take in all of the information instantly in real time, without pausing. I’m able to cross-reference information from my scans immediately. These abilities enable me to quickly absorb details of my host’s life and ultimately help me achieve my objective.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

Over the next five minutes I scan the first file cabinet drawer—files A through F—thoroughly. As I usually do after a scan, I sit down silently for the same amount of time to permanently store the information I’ve just viewed into my active memory. During this meditative state, my mind randomly explores and reviews all of the images and data that I’ve scanned. To finish off, I usually start to explore my memory with one bit of data to ensure that I have successfully transferred the images. This time I choose a random date to see where my memories of Jeremy take me.

February 15, 2011. Using information from his American Express Platinum card statements, I can now recall that on that date, Jeremy purchased lunch at Charley’s Crab in Palm Beach, Florida. I cross-reference this information with any file I’ve scanned that refers to that Palm Beach trip.

Connected images from the scan immediately become available. Jeremy flew business class on Delta Flight 2123 from Boston to Palm Beach International at 6:40 AM on February 11, and returned on February 17, leaving PBI at 8:05 AM on Delta Flight 1184. He rented a luxury car from Avis, picking it up on his arrival and returning it to PBI an hour and a half before the scheduled departure.

There are many other charges made during this time period shown on his AMEX statement, including his hotel stay at the Four Seasons Resort in Palm Beach, where he paid $999 a night for a premier ocean-view room. In addition to a number of room service and mini-bar charges, there were two charges for in-room movie rentals. The value of the rentals suggests that one of those movies was X-rated. It looks like Jennifer was with him on this trip, as the airline tickets were in his and her names and the hotel reservation was booked for two people.

I don’t have time to go through the other files. It’s been fifteen or twenty minutes and I have to get down to Jennifer before she finds me in the study rather than lying down taking care of my ‘migraine’. Before I head downstairs, I scan through the calendar on the desk.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3 – Discovery

The kitchen is a large, bright room that seems to have been recently upgraded. A sliding door opens onto a patio overlooking the backyard. I can see Jennifer sitting at a table that’s been set up for lunch. She seems to be waiting impatiently.

“Hey there,” I start.

She looks unsettled and asks quickly, “How are you feeling? Did you take your Maxalt?”

“Yes, I feel a little better.”

As she straightens up in her chair she asks angrily, “Why the hell did you ask me if that was Jessie on the phone?”

“I don’t know. It just came out. It must be the migraine.”

She shakes her head slowly, rolling her eyes “What did you mean this morning?”

Not knowing what to say, I probe, “Uh, this morning?”

She squints her eyes. “About your plans for next weekend?”

I quickly think about next weekend’s dates from the calendar on the desk that I scanned and an image comes into memory. There’s an entry that says “Palm Beach” next Friday, June 17. There’s another entry that says “Back from PB” on the following Monday. I don’t know anything more.

“You mean the trip to Palm Beach?”

“Yes!” she blasts with her eyes boring into me.

 

I touched a nerve. She is clearly unhappy about this trip. I take a chance.

 

“Do you want me to stay home?”

“Yes, of course I do. You know that!”

With nothing to lose that I know of, I reply, “Okay, I’ll cancel my reservation.”

She seems bewildered. “What? You’d cancel your trip with Vince and Gary just because I asked you?”

“Absolutely. I didn’t think my trip would have such an impact on you. I’m not going to go if it makes you feel like this. Consider it cancelled.”

She looks at me with a confused expression. She’s silent. I can see her cheeks start to flush. I can sense her skin radiating warm energy. The hairs on her arms are standing on end. She’s unsure of my response, yet her body position, eye movements, and energy level suggest that her anger is being replaced with warmth.

She moves her fork randomly through the salad that is before her. She seems to be thinking of what to say. A few moments pass. She breaks the silence.

“I’m sorry that I screamed at you in the car. I just can’t hear her name without reacting.”

I stay quiet.

“What’s gotten into you?” she asks with a sly smile. “Why are you being so damn nice?”

“Um, I’m not sure. The migraine?”

Jennifer responds with a cute wrinkle of her nose and a smile. Her mood has lifted. She seems less burdened. She finishes her lunch and asks if I want to go to the mall with her. I tell her that I had enough shopping at the market this morning and that I’d like to try to rest.

As she leaves, she touches my hand, smiles, and kisses my cheek.

I hear the Mercedes start up and begin to leave, and then the car engine stops. I hear the car door open and shut, and see Jennifer walking back through the kitchen to the patio. She hands me my iPhone. “You left it in the car.”

She waves as she turns around and heads back to the car. I watch her walk back through the kitchen and wonder how our relationship will unfold. What’s the nature of their grief that I felt in Quincy market? How will I help?

As I hear the engine restart and the car drive away, I turn off the iPhone. I wouldn’t know what to say if it rang.

 

 

***

 

My overall objective, as always, is to bring calm and peace—what I like to call balance—to my host and his or her family. I will try to understand the nature of the grief that I felt within Jeremy and Jennifer at the market, and then try to help the family through whatever difficult time they are facing.

When I leave, Jeremy will not know that during my visit, I took control and made decisions that may have changed his life forever. He will remember everything that happens while I am here as if he was present and in control, even though he was not. Although he was absent, he will not remember his absence and he will not be aware of my presence.

While I am managing his life, Jeremy will be in a suspended state until I gradually pull him back. As he returns, he will take control and I will fade into the background of his mind, watching until I leave. I will still have an influence on his behavior, as I did this morning with Damian when he decided to go to Quincy Market to satisfy my need to jump.

There will be one aspect of this extraordinary experience that he will also remember: he will know that something special happened during the time that I was visiting. He will remember having clarity of thought, a rush of creativity and insight that he had never experienced before and does not have on his return. He will look back at this time as being very special and life changing, but not know why. It will seem like a dreamlike memory to him, yet he will not feel comfortable discussing it with anyone—unless I contact him in the future.

 

 

***

 

I run upstairs to continue the scanning process. I begin to consume all of the information in Jeremy’s file cabinet. I go over everything: financial statements, cancelled checks, credit card charges, bank files, bills, invoices, warranties, insurance documents, birthday cards, letters, work files…everything. I finish scanning the three remaining drawers in about thirty minutes and begin my meditation for another thirty. I test out another clue to complete the process.

I sit down at the computer to continue my search. I open up the MacBook, and a screen lock appears. A password is needed to get into Jeremy’s computer. From the memories of my scans, I quickly retrieve anything related to the computer in that file cabinet. I recall a computer security file; there’s a list of phone numbers, memberships, account names, and what appear to be passwords.

I try the first password to unlock the computer. It’s a combination of letters from Jeremy’s immediate family, “jessjensan”— that must be it. Most people create passwords using embedded loved ones names, birthdays, and even their home addresses. I get lucky. As soon as I type in the password, the home screen jumps to life.

I scan the Mac and look through all of Jeremy’s e-mails in the inbox and sent box, as well as deleted files. I review his address book and calendar, and go over files that are easily available. Later, when I have time, I will run a program that will search for any hidden or locked files. I learned that particular technique when I was visiting Daniel Sloan, a computer scientist who works at an IBM research center in Westchester County, just north of New York City.

It’s now around five and I’ve finished scanning everything in the office, the filing cabinet, much of the Mac, and the iPhone. I still have to get into the safe and visit the other rooms on the main floor. Then, of course, there’s the basement, where I’m sure there will be many more clues to uncover.

I expect Jennifer to arrive home soon. Seeing as I don’t have much more time to search, I decide to sit back in the leather office chair to actively think about what I just processed in order to move as many of these scans into my active memory.

I first think about Jessie. What was that feeling about that I had in her room, and why did her name spark such a negative reaction from Jennifer?

Within a minute, I know. I feel a surge of anxiety and panic emanating from Jeremy’s soul. My head is spinning and I begin to feel sick for the first time as Jeremy.

Continued….

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