Fashionably Dead
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Fashionably Dead Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

Robyn Peterman (Author), Jessica Almasy (Narrator), Audible Studios (Publisher)
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 12,012 ratings
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Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I'm stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who's teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator. To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions, and my attraction to a hotter-than-Satan's-underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous...it's possibly deadly. For real dead.

Permanent death isn't on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I'm his, it's easier said than done. Like that's not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I'm some sort of Chosen One. Holy hell, if I'm in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.

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  1. Listening Length
    12 hours and 14 minutes
  2. Author
    Robyn Peterman
  3. Narrator
    Jessica Almasy
  4. Audible release date
    February 9, 2016
  5. Language
    English
  6. Publisher
    Audible Studios
  7. ASIN
    B01A7PQWZO
  8. Version
    Unabridged
  9. Program Type
    Audiobook
  10. See all details
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Product details

Listening Length 12 hours and 14 minutes
Author Robyn Peterman
Narrator Jessica Almasy
Whispersync for Voice Ready
Audible.com Release Date February 09, 2016
Publisher Audible Studios
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B01A7PQWZO
Best Sellers Rank #30,077 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#697 in Romantic Comedy (Audible Books & Originals)
#735 in Fantasy Romance (Audible Books & Originals)
#920 in Humorous Fiction

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
12,012 global ratings
Suspense, seduction, and sass....
4 Stars
Suspense, seduction, and sass....
This story was fantastic and fun and had me in stitches. It's the first moments, hours, and days in the life of a newborn vampire, Astrid Porter. It's a humorous look as Astrid acclimates to her new fantastical, undead life. When Astrid decides to be hypnotized to stop smoking, her life is irrevocably changed....and the fun begins. Sometimes heartbreaking...like when she continually tries to win the love of a mother who hates her or her sudden realization that she'll never have children. But then the author flips it and the story becomes humorous...like her reaction to all the different vamps she meets as well as angels and fairies. Or the hole in the crotch of her grandma panties. It's all quite comical. I loved how she's constantly yelling obscenities when something or someone surprises her, or sneaks up on her...or when something shocks her. This story has the best secondary characters....I especially LOVED The Kevin!!! I loved Astrid's inner dialogue or how she talks to herself as she muddles through this newfound life. Total hilarity. Each humorous situation tops the last...and they keep coming. I loved how these vampires were more like angels...that is, they protect humans.Full of adult language and lots of sexual scenes. So if this type of situation isn't your thang, steer clear. Ms. Peterman touches on Heaven, hell and reincarnation. I didn't appreciate the chaotic ending or the cliffhanger. Otherwise, brilliantly told. Brava Ms. Peterman.
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Top reviews from the United States

Marie Brown
5.0 out of 5 stars A outrageously fun read
Reviewed in the United States on September 6, 2013
Verified Purchase
Marie's Tempting Reads Review:

Another great book by the fun and talented author, Robyn Peterman. I had read this when it was first released but when I was asked if I would like to do a review for Fashionably Dead I knew I had to do a reread to refresh my brain. I forgot how entertaining this was. This book took vampyres to a new and exciting place, making them unique but with certain qualities you would expect from the "normal" vampires. I ADORED it too!
We have such a combination of quirky and outrageous characters. From the Oprah look-a-like Guardian Angel who is strangely named Pam, not Oprah, and a Fairy Couch who looks like just like Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger. A cute little vampire by the name of Paris Hilton and another vampire (this one absolutely stunning!) by the name of Venus not to mention the not-quite-mortal best friend Gemma. And what a good friend she is too! She offered Astrid her wrist after she was turned. Now THAT is what a true friend is! We also have these loveable, yet slightly ugly demon babies that adore Astrid and help her here and there. I REALLY find it cool that they eat glitter magic that Astrid throws at them. They seem..sweet in a creepy kind of way, yet I find myself adoring these creepy little demons throughout this book.
Astrid is the heroine and one I very much like. She is fun, caring, funny, and has the hots for the Warrior Prince, Ethan. Honestly, I can't blame her for having the hots for Ethan either. He is gorgeous, extremely sexy, charming, amusing and has equal attraction for Astrid. Which makes perfect sense since she is his destined mate AND the Chosen One. Fashionably Dead is an outrageously fun, amusing romp with plenty of romance, comedy, sex so hot it will feel like your on fire and plenty of twists and turns and awesome tricks and adventure around every corner. I am SO DYING for the next book in this new Hot Damned Series! I give this a FIVE OUT OF FIVE STARS! Its a wonderfully written book of awesome-sauce and I can't wait for more. You HAVE to go pick this book up and check out this masterpiece yourself!
81 people found this helpful
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BooksnBeer
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny and and fast-paced!
Reviewed in the United States on March 16, 2014
Verified Purchase
The sparkling gem of this story is the irreverent and fearless humor. I swear on all things Prada, it will make you laugh out loud. I startled my dog several times while reading this book. She finally got so disgruntled she left the room.

Astrid is somewhat archetypal: She's a pretty but slightly dysfunctional woman with relationship issues and of course, a heart of gold. She's "not a ho-bag" but has a healthy sexuality. She doesn't know her own worth, has self-doubts, but soon realizes her place and finds inner strength. I could see that character development coming a mile away. Despite this, Peterman's ability to write a clear character voice is so strong, I was able to accept Astrid's at face value, and look forward to a deeper character development as the series progresses.

In the realm of the paranormal, so many things seem to have rules. Isn't that odd? It's supposed to be a world where the impossible is possible, and yet, so many paranormal novels are based on the same tropes and archetypes. While Astrid's beginning seems to follow those at first, and all of the plot twists were fairly obvious, Peterman does take refreshing liberties with many of those "rules". Astrid's genealogy allows for this with ease, which leads to smooth story progression.

The story moves along very well, there's no drudgery or drawn-out angst, which delighted me to no end. The only downside to that was, at times I felt rushed at points that could have used a bit of time to enhance their impact and importance. I'm somewhat befuddled by her very quick fall for her mate, despite barely spending time with him. I don't know if that was due to the "fated-ness" of their being together, or if it was just underdeveloped, or maybe due to length, it got cut. Even so, the book was over way before I was ready to leave the characters - and it had little to do with the "cliffhanger" ending.

To her credit, Peterman writes excellent supporting characters. Just like Astrid, they have clear and separate personalities, which helps the reader process a lot. Because the book moves so quickly, the reader is introduced to nearly 30 other characters. The writing is so good that you can pick them out in your brain to count them. They don't blur together and get lost or forgotten. Were this like other series, I'd love to explore their little worlds and characters separately.

As a first book, the world building and opened possibilities make it an instant appetizer for the rest of the series. I highly recommend it.
4 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Jen
5.0 out of 5 stars 10/10 book 1
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 25, 2024
Verified Purchase
So I’m very late to this party but so glad I found this gem.
I’ve not laughed so hard in a very long time until I started this series. It’s absolutely hilarious and definitely needed. Not the biggest fan of vampire stories so was unsure when I started this but yeah so worth it.
FMC with a wicked sense of humour but also ditzy and funny.

Vampires, fairies, Angels, demons and ghosts so far.
A pleasure to find something that can cheer you up and get you out of a book funk.
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Ian Mullen
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read.
Reviewed in Australia on January 21, 2024
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I like Robyn Peterman’s style of writing. An enjoyable read and extending of the imagination. Good fantasy. Escapism at its finest.
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caroangie
5.0 out of 5 stars Ein bisschen Chicagoland-Vampires....aber witzig
Reviewed in Germany on June 13, 2017
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ich habe mir das Buch gekauft, nachdem ich mir das Hörbuch bei audible geholt habe. Astrid, die Vampirin wider willen, ist eine Heldin mit einem Schandmaul und oberflächlich ist sie obendrein. Ein rasantes, witziges Buch durch das man seinen Englischwortschatz in Punkto Schimpfwörter super erweitern kann. Das Buch ist witzig, spannend und gut geschrieben. Deshalb hole ich mir auch die anderen Teile der Serie, denke ich.
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Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars loved every page and every moment of it great twists ...
Reviewed in India on November 26, 2016
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loved every page and every moment of it
great twists and can keep an audience engaged and unwilling to put the book down
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Cherri-Anne Boitson
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! Fangs down!
Reviewed in Canada on September 21, 2014
Verified Purchase
This has to be one of the greatest, if not THE greatest funniest & sexiest Vampire book I have ever had the pleasure of reading!!! Robyn has got such a great sense of humor and she has made such loveable characters that I couldn’t pick one to be my fave! Poor Astrid wakes up to find that while she doesn’t want a cigarette, she now also can’t breathe! What the heck happened at that hypnotist?!?! Well, you will have to read for yourself, but I will say this – be prepared to be surprised!!! No matter that whatever I thought would happen – didn’t or it was in a completely different way! I loved that this was not a “predictable” book in any way! From Astrid’s best friend Gemma, to Pam, The Kev, Ethan, and everyone in between they are not who you think they are – or are they?? I love that Astrid’s Angel friend swears more than she does (even I learnt some new ones!), that Gemma will sacrifice herself and eat ice cream for Astrid, and then there is The Kev. Words can’t describe him! LOL As with any Robyn Peterman book, you need to have a change of pants because I guarantee that you will pee yourself laughing!!
One person found this helpful
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