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Kindle Seen as Early Success on Other Planets, But Amazon is Tight-Lipped on Units Sold

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Posted, of course, on April 1, 2011

NEW TEXAS CITY, Mars, Apr 1, 2011 (BOGUS WIRE)–Just 1,229 days after Amazon’s launch of its Kindle ebook reader, the company announced today that the third-generation Kindle is now its bestselling, most gifted, most wished for product in the entire recorded history of the universe.

“We’re ecstatic to see that Kindle seems to be just as popular with readers on other planets as it is in the United States and other nations on Earth,” said Jeff Bezos, Amazon.com founder and CEO. “Kindle has easily surpassed all our expectations for these new geographies and our sales on Venus alone this week were more than triple all interplanetary sales during the previous decade.”


Amazon said it actually had not intended to begin selling the Kindle in outer space this year, but had seen unprecedented demand from Mars and Venus after its recent announcement of the launch of its Amazon Cloud services.


While Amazon has refused to offer investors any guidance with respect to interplanetary sales for Kindle during the balance of the current fiscal year, numerous analysts upgraded Amazon shares this morning from “Market Outperform” to “Sky’s the Limit,” with a target price of 500 “Plutos” per share, equivalent to about $247 USD. Fueling analyst optimism was the apparent lack of interest in the new regions from companies that might be expected to compete in the outer-space ebook space.


In the word of one CEO, who requested anonymity to avoid further embarrassment, “The entire concept is flawed from the top because everybody knows that spacemen don’t read any more.”


Amazon had been mum in recent days about sales on other planets, despite reports by some bloggers that the company had posted job listings for distribution facility managers in the New Texas City area.

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