Powered by our magical Kindle free book tool, here are this morning’s latest additions to our 4,100+ Kindle Free Book listings. Occasionally a title will continue to appear on this list for a short time after it is no longer free on Kindle. ALWAYS check the price on Amazon before making a purchase, please! If a book is free, you should see the following: Kindle Price: $0.00
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Great characters and complex and engaging plot. With strong psychological plot and feminist themes that intertwine and leave you with lots to think about even after you've finished the book.
The Ghosts of Lovely Women (The Teddy Thurber Mysteries)
I'm a Chicago area writer who debuted in 2006 with THE DARK BACKWARD. Since then, I've started two mystery series on Kindle: The MADELINE MANN mysteries and the TEDDY THURBER mysteries. Madeline Mann's third mystery, ONE FOOL AT LEAST, just debuted on Kindle.
I am a member of Sisters in Crime, Mystery Writers of America, and Romance Writers of America. I blog each week on Poe's Deadly Daughters and on my own blog, Mysterious Musings.
Like Teddy Thurber, I am a bibliophile who teaches high school English. I live with my husband, two teenage sons, an aging beagle named Simon and three distant cats named Pibby, Mr. Mulliner, and Rose.
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by Julia Buckley
4.8 stars - 5 reviews
Supports Us with Commissions Earned
Currently FREE for Amazon Prime Members
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here's the set-up:
Who killed Jessica Halliday? She was a nineteen-year-old college
student with a bright future before her. No one at her former high
school can imagine who would want to murder this charismatic young
woman; but Teddy Thurber, Jessica's former teacher, thinks the answer
might lie in a book that Jessica had given her months before.
Teddy begins to try to follow the trail of clues Jessica left behind in order to find the truth about her former student's death; in the process she must delve into the literature that Jessica loved best, and what she finds reveals unsavory details about other students, teachers, and even Jessica's family.
Helping Teddy is the new history and psychology teacher, Derek Jonas, who ends up having secrets of his own . . . . As her search for Jessica intensifies, she must also deal with the unwelcome advances of an old boyfriend, complicating her life even further.
Teddy's persistence puts her and the ones she loves in danger; but she can do no less than try to avenge the murder of a promising young woman whose future success had been assured.
At her side throughout this mystery is her faithful beagle, P.G.
Teddy begins to try to follow the trail of clues Jessica left behind in order to find the truth about her former student's death; in the process she must delve into the literature that Jessica loved best, and what she finds reveals unsavory details about other students, teachers, and even Jessica's family.
Helping Teddy is the new history and psychology teacher, Derek Jonas, who ends up having secrets of his own . . . . As her search for Jessica intensifies, she must also deal with the unwelcome advances of an old boyfriend, complicating her life even further.
Teddy's persistence puts her and the ones she loves in danger; but she can do no less than try to avenge the murder of a promising young woman whose future success had been assured.
At her side throughout this mystery is her faithful beagle, P.G.
One Reviewer Notes:
...Ghosts of Lovely Women, by Julia Buckley, is a book of merit, not only for its entertainment value but for its thought-provoking theme. It strikes a point that young people really do care. That they can be independent thinkers and solve complicated riddles of adult life. The light romance that intertwines this book is wonderfully created. Teddy's beagle dog, P.G., adds touches of home-like humor, and, if you are a reader like me, the many references to great literature, from Shakespeare to Dostoyevsky's 'Crime and Punishment' is an added welcome bonus!
Allene
About the Author
I'm a Chicago area writer who debuted in 2006 with THE DARK BACKWARD. Since then, I've started two mystery series on Kindle: The MADELINE MANN mysteries and the TEDDY THURBER mysteries. Madeline Mann's third mystery, ONE FOOL AT LEAST, just debuted on Kindle.
I am a member of Sisters in Crime, Mystery Writers of America, and Romance Writers of America. I blog each week on Poe's Deadly Daughters and on my own blog, Mysterious Musings.
Like Teddy Thurber, I am a bibliophile who teaches high school English. I live with my husband, two teenage sons, an aging beagle named Simon and three distant cats named Pibby, Mr. Mulliner, and Rose.UK CUSTOMERS: Click on the title below to download
The Ghosts of Lovely Women (The Teddy Thurber Mysteries)
The Ghosts of Lovely Women (The Teddy Thurber Mysteries)
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From skyscrapers to safari… A love story across continentsAs an heiress to her father’s real-estate fortune, Audrey has always been focused on her career, leaving little time for love. But when she’s gifted a trip to Kruger National Park, she meets Julia, a fiery editor from New York. Their...
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Ryan O'Hara is a Army Green Beret who is suffering from war wounds and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He has been placed on convalescent leave and is traveling across America killing former members of a Marxist domestic terrorist organization responsible for the murder of a San Francisco Police...
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I’ll risk everything to win back my small-town firefighter ex. Even my life. More than ten years after life tore us apart, I’m back in my ex’s hometown, ready to persuade him to give us a second chance. Unfortunately, Liam isn’t convinced, and everyone in Destiny Falls wants me gone. My...
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* Updated in May, 2019! * Research fields: Computer Vision and Machine Learning. * Book Topic: Action recognition from videos. * Recognition Tool: Recurrent Neural Network (RNN) with LSTM (Long-Short Term Memory) layer and fully connected layer. * Programming Language:...
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All she wants for Christmas is him.Lady Beatrice Lichfield has been madly in love with Lord Harrison Manfred, Marquess of Landsbury, for years, and she thought he returned her affection. So why hasn’t he proposed yet? With Christmas only days away, and with the encouragement of her mischievous...
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Lisbon: Journey Back in Time in Western Europe’s Oldest City!Are you thinking of your next vacation, but aren’t sure where to go? Would you prefer some quiet time of reflection in a dazzling monastery, or would you like a more active trip with great opportunities to explore fascinating museums....
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Colouring books for adults are a relatively new phenomenon and many people are still unaware of the benefits that can be achieved by a little time spent doing something as simple as colouring. Different terms are often used to describe adult colouring, with mindfulness and art-therapy being the...
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. Reduce, and manage body inflammation with the food you eat! Following the anti-inflammatory diet is easier than you think with delicious kitchen-tested recipes. You won’t even believe you are on a diet! Best of all, you will feel more energized, and healthier than ever before! Download FREE with...
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Kindle Free Book Alert for Monday, July 30: 395 brand new Freebies in the last 24 hours added to Our 4,100+ Free Titles sorted by Category, Date Added, Bestselling or Review Rating! plus … Julia Buckley’s The Ghosts of Lovely Women (Today’s Sponsor – $5.99)
Today’s Kindle Daily Deal – Saturday, Nov. 19 – Save 80% on Bond … James Bond, plus … discover the Teddy Thurber Mysteries with Julia Buckley’s THE GHOSTS OF LOVELY WOMEN (Today’s Sponsor, Just $2.99)
But first, a word from today’s sponsor….
by Julia Buckley
5 stars – 1 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Don’t have a Kindle? Get yours here.
Here’s the set-up:
English teacher Theodora “Teddy” Thurber is shocked to find out that a former student of hers–a bright and beautiful young woman named Jessica Halliday–has been murdered.
Soon afterward, Teddy discovers some cryptic messages that Jessica left for her, and she begins to try to follow the trail in order to find the truth about her former student’s death. In the process she must delve into the literature that Jessica loved best, since it is from these literary masterpieces that Jessica has derived her clues.
Helping Teddy is the new history and psychology teacher, who seems fascinated by Teddy, despite her conviction that she leads a dull life. As her search for Jessica intensifies, she must also deal with the unwelcome advances of an old boyfriend, complicating her life even further.
Teddy’s persistence puts her and the ones she loves in danger; but she can do no less than try to avenge the murder of a promising young woman whose future success had been assured.
At her side throughout this mystery is her faithful beagle, P.G.
And now, for today only, the Kindle Daily Deal!
Kindle Daily Deal: Live and Let Die
In Ian Fleming’s second Bond novel, agent 007 faces his most dangerous enemy yet, and a series of hazards readers won’t easily forget. A breath-taking hunt for secret treasure takes Bond to Harlem, Florida and Jamaica and brings him to Mr Big, a SMERSH operative and criminal mastermind who holds the dazzling fortune-teller Solitaire in his deathly grip.
| Yesterday’s Price: | $9.99 | |
| Today’s Discount: | $8.00 | |
| Kindle Daily Deal Price: | $1.99 | (80% off) |
Kindle Nation Daily Bargain Book Alert: Julia Buckley’s LOVELY, DARK AND DEEP is our eBook of the Day at just $2.99, and Here’s a Free Sample!
Here’s the set-up for Julia Buckley’s Lovely, Dark and Deep, just $2.99 on Kindle:
Julia Buckley’s irresistible reporter returns only months after solving her first mystery in the 5-star series debut Madeline Mann! Now Madeline Mann is called to do God’s work–or so says her former English teacher, Sister Moira–by investigating the mysterious death of a young nun named Sister Joanna.
Joanna’s death is ten years in the past, but Moira has been troubled by dreams of her young friend, and she is convinced that Joanna was murdered.
Having heard of Madeline’s investigative skills, Moira asks her to look into Joanna’s death and find out if a murderer still lurks in the town of Webley, and if the dark secrets behind the death of a nun have somehow placed other people in danger.
From the reviewers:
From Cornelia Read, author of THE CRAZY SCHOOL: “Julia Buckley’s character Madeline Mann is witty, brave, smart as a whip, and . . . downright cool.”
From Barbara D’Amato, author of the Cat Marsala mysteries : “Reporter Madeline “Madman” Mann is a great character: smart, warm, witty, and just wacky enough for spice.”
From Hope McIntyre, author of the HOW TO MARRY A GHOST series: “Welcome to Webley, Illinois, the background to this refreshing new mystery series. Madeline Mann could do anything and I would still want to read about her. She’s warm, engaging, and fun–and the same goes for Julia Buckley’s writing.”
Visit Amazon’s Julia Buckley Page
Julia Buckley is a Chicago-area writer. Her first mystery, THE DARK BACKWARD, was published in 2006; since then she has sold a cozy mystery series about title character MADELINE MANN.
Buckley is a member of Sisters in Crime, Mystery Writers of America, and Romance Writers of America. She blogs about writing and mysteries at Mysterious Musings, Poe’s Deadly
Daughters, and Blog Critics.
She teaches high school English and enjoys reading, playing Lexulous on Facebook, and spending time with her husband and son.
And here, in the comfort of your own browser, is you free sample of LOVELY, DARK AND DEEP by Julia Buckley:
Kindle Nation Daily Free Book Alert, Wednesday, March 2: Trashy Mysteries, Tawdry Romances, and Hundreds More! plus … Discover a great new female sleuth for just $2.99 with Julia Buckley’s Madeline Mann (Today’s Sponsor)
Somebody else’s trash may be your whodunit if you check this morning’s latest additions to our 200+ Free Book Alert listings….
But first, a word from … Today’s Sponsor
How does one small-town reporter get some respect? Madeline Mann conducts a search for her missing friend – and no one, not even Madeline’s boyfriend – escapes her scrutiny…
“Julia Buckley’s character Madeline Mann is witty, brave, smart, and . . . downright cool.”
–Cornelia Read, author of Invisible Boy
Madeline Mann (The Madeline Mann Mysteries)
by Julia Buckley
Kindle Price: $2.99
Text-to-Speech: Enabled
Don’t have a Kindle
“bright debut” –Kirkus Reviews
Here’s the set-up:
Madeline Mann is a small town reporter whom nobody takes seriously until her old high school friend disappears; when Maddy begins her search for Logan Lanford, everyone takes notice.
This might be because just about everyone is a suspect in Logan’s disappearance, from his neglected wife to the shady mayor to Logan’s jealous brother. Even Madeline’s boyfriend seems to harbor some resentment toward the AWOL Logan and his reputation as a philanderer.
In searching for her old friend, Madeline is also searching for vindication of her career choice and a chance to be independent from a family that threatens to drive her crazy.
This might be because just about everyone is a suspect in Logan’s disappearance, from his neglected wife to the shady mayor to Logan’s jealous brother. Even Madeline’s boyfriend seems to harbor some resentment toward the AWOL Logan and his reputation as a philanderer.
In searching for her old friend, Madeline is also searching for vindication of her career choice and a chance to be independent from a family that threatens to drive her crazy.
What the Reviewers Say
“In her bright debut, Maddy is a welcome addition to the cozy scene.”
–Kirkus Reviews
“An intriguing debut in an engaging, fresh new series. Make mine Madeline Mann!”
–Julia Spencer-Fleming, author of I Shall Not Want
“This tightly plotted mystery is a fast-paced exhilarating ride, and investigative reporter Madeline Mann is by far the best female lead to come along since Stephanie Plum. A cool, clever, funny read, and the beginning of an absolutely delightful series. Julia Buckley rocks.”
–Anne Frasier,bestselling author of Hush
and Pale Immortal
“Madeline Mann is an absolute delight. Oh, that all murder mys-teries could be so much fun to solve. I love Buckley’s flawless style; her small town American settings are perfect, and her characters are so real it wouldn’t surprise me to discover one of the brothers rummaging in my refrigerator. Julia Buckley has a winner here—charming, intelligent, and exciting. More ‘Mad-man,’ please—and soon!”
—Robert Fate, author of the Baby Shark
series
“Reporter Madeline ‘Madman’ Mann is a great character: smart, warm, witty, and just wacky enough for spice. I hope this is the beginning of many, many Madman books to come.”
–Barbara D’Amato, author of the Cat Marsala Mysteries
–Kirkus Reviews
“An intriguing debut in an engaging, fresh new series. Make mine Madeline Mann!”
–Julia Spencer-Fleming, author of I Shall Not Want
“This tightly plotted mystery is a fast-paced exhilarating ride, and investigative reporter Madeline Mann is by far the best female lead to come along since Stephanie Plum. A cool, clever, funny read, and the beginning of an absolutely delightful series. Julia Buckley rocks.”
–Anne Frasier,bestselling author of Hush
and Pale Immortal“Madeline Mann is an absolute delight. Oh, that all murder mys-teries could be so much fun to solve. I love Buckley’s flawless style; her small town American settings are perfect, and her characters are so real it wouldn’t surprise me to discover one of the brothers rummaging in my refrigerator. Julia Buckley has a winner here—charming, intelligent, and exciting. More ‘Mad-man,’ please—and soon!”
—Robert Fate, author of the Baby Shark
series“Reporter Madeline ‘Madman’ Mann is a great character: smart, warm, witty, and just wacky enough for spice. I hope this is the beginning of many, many Madman books to come.”
–Barbara D’Amato, author of the Cat Marsala Mysteries
Click here 
to download Madeline Mann (The Madeline Mann Mysteries) (or a free sample) to your Kindle, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, BlackBerry, Android-compatible, PC or Mac and start reading within 60 seconds!
to download Madeline Mann (The Madeline Mann Mysteries) (or a free sample) to your Kindle, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, BlackBerry, Android-compatible, PC or Mac and start reading within 60 seconds!UK CUSTOMERS: Click on the title below to download
Each day’s list is sponsored by one paid title. We encourage you to support our sponsors and thank you for considering them.
Authors, Publishers, iPad Accessory Manufacturers:
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Free Kindle Nation Shorts — February 27, 2011: An Excerpt from Madeline Mann, a novel by Julia Buckley
“Madeline’s zany family and humorous narrative make this series debut a pleasurable cozy read … definitely a writer to watch.”
—The Library Journal
By Stephen Windwalker
Editor, Kindle Nation Daily
©Kindle Nation Daily 2011
©Kindle Nation Daily 2011
Kindle Nation readers, do you have any idea how important you are to emerging authors?
Several times a month some of the best indie authors publishing on the Kindle platform share generous excerpts of their work here through the Free Kindle Nation Shorts program, and they are counting on you, and on our small staff here at Kindle Nation, to help separate work of distinction from the vast rest of it.
So far, it is working. We’ve seen Free Kindle Nation Shorts authors whose books have moved into the top 100 in the Kindle Store, and others who have signed contracts with AmazonEncore and other publishers, and others for whom entire series have caught fire. Just a couple of weeks ago one of the very first authors to be featured in this program received a rave review in the Sunday New York Times Book Review for her newly released novel. But the proof is always in the pudding, and in the few cases where you our readers have stamped “mediocre” on one of our selections, it has tended to fall where it belonged in the first place, by the wayside.
That won’t be the case this week, because we’ve got an emerging star in the house.
I’m especially pleased and confident this evening to share a generous excerpt from the debut novel in Julia Buckley’s Madeline Mann Mysteries, entitled, appropriately enough, Madeline Mann. If you’re a fan of suspense from the woman’s angle, I believe you’ll love … wait for it … “the Madman.”
Text-to-Speech: Enabled
“bright debut” –Kirkus Reviews
Here’s the set-up:
Madeline Mann is a small town reporter whom nobody takes seriously until her old high school friend disappears; when Maddy begins her search for Logan Lanford, everyone takes notice.
This might be because just about everyone is a suspect in Logan’s disappearance, from his neglected wife to the shady mayor to Logan’s jealous brother. Even Madeline’s boyfriend seems to harbor some resentment toward the AWOL Logan and his reputation as a philanderer.
In searching for her old friend, Madeline is also searching for vindication of her career choice and a chance to be independent from a family that threatens to drive her crazy.
What the Reviewers Say
“In her bright debut, Maddy is a welcome addition to the cozy scene.”
–Kirkus Reviews
“An intriguing debut in an engaging, fresh new series. Make mine Madeline Mann!”
–Julia Spencer-Fleming, author of I Shall Not Want
“This tightly plotted mystery is a fast-paced exhilarating ride, and investigative reporter Madeline Mann is by far the best female lead to come along since Stephanie Plum. A cool, clever, funny read, and the beginning of an absolutely delightful series. Julia Buckley rocks.”
–Anne Frasier, bestselling author of Hush and Pale Immortal
and Pale Immortal“Madeline Mann is an absolute delight. Oh, that all murder mys-teries could be so much fun to solve. I love Buckley’s flawless style; her small town American settings are perfect, and her characters are so real it wouldn’t surprise me to discover one of the brothers rummaging in my refrigerator. Julia Buckley has a winner here-charming, intelligent, and exciting. More ‘Mad-man,’ please-and soon!”
-Robert Fate, author of the Baby Shark series
series“Reporter Madeline ‘Madman’ Mann is a great character: smart, warm, witty, and just wacky enough for spice. I hope this is the beginning of many, many Madman books to come.”
–Barbara D’Amato, author of the Cat Marsala Mysteries
 Free Kindle Nation Shorts – February 27, 2011An Excerpt from
Madeline Mann
A Novel by Julia Buckley
Copyright © 2011 by Madeline Mann and published here with her permission
|
|
For my brothers and sisters:
Bill, Claudia, Christopher, and Linda.
You have helped me know the warmth of family;
as a result, Madeline knows it too.
one
My capricious episodes have made me notorious in my family. Often unexpected, even by me, they are whimsical impulses I sometimes feel compelled to follow. Often my motivation is clear–as in the doll-head-shaving incident when I was seven, prompted by my older brother’s comment that my Beautiful Chrissy was “too girlie”–but sometimes the notion is a bit more mysterious, like the infamous wild ride I took in my father’s gray Celebrity when I was seventeen. I’d been a sedate driver previous to the incident and ever since, but on this afternoon some demon caused me to rocket down Alder, Webley’s quietest side street. I shot past a playground, glimpsed the pale, shocked faces of an elderly hand-holding couple in matching sweat suits, and set some aged doggies to barking. Despite some passionate last-minute braking, I rear-ended a newly minted Mr. Whippy ice cream truck and consequently alienated my father for a full month.
These sorts of occurrences earned me a nickname from both of my brothers: Madman. It wasn’t a clever creation on their part, since it’s merely an ironic combination of my first and last names, Madeline Mann, but I have a feeling Madman would have become my nickname even if I’d been christened Jill Smith. Though I’m basically a quiet, thoughtful person, I can sometimes be ruled by my impulses–based upon what I like to call the “floating vibes” I feel in a given situation. Sometimes I need to take vibe-restoring action. It’s hard to explain, but there’s a certain rightness about it within me. It’s the only way to begin this story, I’ve decided, because I never would have become involved in a murder investigation if I hadn’t, in fact, been mutinously reacting to something else.
A case in point is my hair. Jack, my upstairs neighbor for two years and my boyfriend for one, loved my brunette locks; they were fairly thick and smooth and hung straight and simple to my shoulders. When Jack and I had our first big argument one autumn night and I stormed out of his apartment and flew down the stairs to mine (we lived in the same three-flat), I was definitely in one of those unstable moods. I felt it was over, and I felt it was Jack’s fault. I was miserable but furious.
Who knows where wacky ideas come from? I simply had one. I took out my barber’s shears and carefully cut off two or three inches of my hair. I ran out to the drugstore and bought L’Oreal Preference blonde dye–“Because I’m worth it,” I murmured throatily to myself in the store aisle. I hurried home and applied the smelly stuff without further thought. I had to let it sit for forty-five minutes, during which time I played Peter, Paul, and Mary’s Ten Years Together CD and sang along with every song while I perused a Cat Fancy magazine. (I don’t have cats, but I fancy them. My landlord doesn’t.)
I took a shower, rinsed out the dye, and pampered myself with some scented powder before slipping into my favorite jeans and a gray T-shirt with Shakespeare’s face on it. I flopped into my papasan chair and considered the reading material on the steamer trunk that was my coffee table. My brother had lent me a biography of Howard Hughes and I had a Nora Roberts book from the library. Not in the mood for either, I decided. My life needed a little mystery. I opted for an Agatha Christie off the shelf above me. Eventually, three chapters into What Mrs. McGillicuddy Saw!, I wandered back into the bathroom to take a look at what I’d done.
I was expecting the worst. I’d burned myself on numerous occasions–the bad perms, the “no Novocain” decision, the jalape-o eaten on a dare, the downright loony choice of watching my cousin’s colicky six-month-old for a weekend–I could go on. To my amazement, I liked what I saw in the bathroom mirror. Not only did I look perky as a blonde, I looked like I’d been born a blonde. I have green eyes and pale skin, and I’d serendipitously chosen a shade that accentuated them.
Jack had told me on more than one occasion that I was beautiful; my mother had told me that I had “good German bones.” Now, for a moment, I thought I could see what they meant. I fancied that I looked like a sort of poor man’s Elke Sommer. I pouted in front of the glass like a ferocious supermodel until I was quite sick of myself; then I decided to prowl around the building in hopes of a purposely accidental meeting with my brand-new ex, Jack.
I found him in the tiny laundry room, a small addition Mr. Altschul had built on the back of the ground floor of his large Victorian house (now three apartments accommodating the aforementioned German landlord, attractive ex-lover, and newly blonde me). Jack was stuffing all his clothes into the washer, darks and lights alike. He was obviously still angry about our fight, because he was jamming things in with extra force, as though his clothes offended him. I stepped casually into the room, ostensibly to check for an unused washing machine. Jack took one look at me and his hands flew to his stomach and one knee came up, as though I’d hurled a softball into his abdomen.
“What did you do to your hair?” he gasped.
“Isn’t it obvious?” I asked, curling a blonde strand behind my ear.
“Are you nuts?”
“Is the washer available?”
“For God’s sake, you couldn’t just talk it out with me? You had to go and turn yourself into someone else?”
“I like it. Don’t you like it?” I think my tone made clear that I wouldn’t be happy with anything but an affirmative response.
“Madeline–“
“What?”
We faced each other, our unresolved argument still sitting like an iceberg between us. Since the crux of it was Jack’s tendency to control me, his protest against my hair color choice was not, I thought, the wisest response.
He finished shoving his clothes into the washer, hastily sprinkled some Tide over them, shut the lid, and cranked the knob with energy. I had always admired Jack’s athleticism, being rather sedentary myself; even now I could appreciate his well-shaped, tanned forearms as they strong-armed the coin slot. He turned to face me, trying to keep his emotions in check.
“Okay, I don’t know what you want, Maddy, but I don’t think you do either.”
“You’ve decided that for me?”
“Stop it.”
“Are you going to acknowledge that I’m an adult woman who can make her own decisions?”
“I never doubted it.” He folded his arms defensively in front of his chest. He was wearing a solid black T-shirt and some old gray jogging shorts. I felt a pang of sadness, because I used to borrow the outfit.
“You opened my mail, Jack.”
“It was a second notice–“
“It was my second notice!” I heard my voice shrilling, and I toned it down. “If I got a hundred notices, it wouldn’t change the fact that they were addressed to me!”
Jack ran a hand through his wavy brown hair. He looked around the laundry room as though hunting for inspiration among the detergent and clothespins. I felt for him. In the year we’d been together, arguments had been rare, and always resolved. This one, to his surprise, wasn’t going away.
Jack sighed and shrugged. “I’m sorry I made you angry. But I’ve got to tell you, Maddy, if I thought I was doing something wrong, I wouldn’t have done it. I mean, if you don’t know me by nowÉ”
He let the sentence hang there. We faced each other like duelists.
“I guess I feel married to you,” he continued. “I don’t think it’s a big deal for a husband to open his wife’s mail. I feel like a husband. We love each other, we sleep together, we’re monogamous, we practically live together–“
“In separate apartments.”
“Only because you want it that way. So we both have some control here, don’t we, Madeline?”
I took a deep breath and made myself unclench my fists. “I’ve got to be up early tomorrow to do some work, so I’m going to bed now. I suggest you steer clear of me unless you are willing to address the actual issue. This isn’t about love or marriage or which bed I choose to sleep in. This is about acknowledging my autonomy and my rights, just as you would for a male best friend who was your roommate.”
His jaw dropped. “Are you calling me sexist?”
“If the narrow shoe fits,” I yelled over my shoulder as I stomped out of the room.
I caught a glimpse of Mr. Altschul’s nose as he pulled it back into his apartment, and felt a blush of shame. We had turned this into One Life to Live in a matter of hours. I doubted our landlord would request our departure, since he was obviously thrilled by the fireworks, but I felt shame nonetheless. Aside from my aforementioned erratic moments, which were relatively rare, I was a reasonable, even reserved person. My brothers, Fritz and Gerhard, called this trait “the Too-Teutonic Reserve,” since they saw it as a hereditary flaw passed down by my German-immigrant parents–one that prevented meine Bruder from bonding with numerous women. My brothers liked Jack very much. They weren’t going to be thrilled by my news of a breakup, especially since they thought everything I did was irrational. They thought I chose to date Jack, a rare family-sanctioned decision, because they were there when we met and they helped to influence the outcome–about which they were, of course, wrong.
It was the guitar that made me fall in love with him. He’d been playing it on the day I moved in. (My mother had won me the apartment by chatting with Mr. Altschul in German.) I was sitting, exhausted, on top of a packing box and eating ice cream with my sweaty siblings, who had hauled in all of the heavy stuff. Suddenly, a melody wafted through the window, unmistakably played on a guitar and pretty certainly coming from the apartment above. Then a voice began singing, as though my own troubadour had come
to woo me at my window. I wondered vaguely if the singer was a professional.
“What’s that?” asked Fritz, two years my junior, distracted for a moment from his double scoop cone, his fox-like face alert, his red mustache dripping.
“A guitar, brain,” answered Gerhard, two years my elder, still studying his ice cream sandwich’s label, his dark brows furrowed above his handsome face.
“The song, I mean.” Fritz shoved what remained of his cone in his mouth and then, in an awesome feat, continued to speak: “The awhtist.”
“Gordon Lightfoot,” I ventured. He was playing “That’s What You Get for Lovin’ Me.”
“It’s acoustic,” Fritz sneered.
“That’s right. We forgot you don’t like instruments that can’t be plugged in,” Gerhard quipped.
“Or musicians who play more than one chord progression over and over,” I added spitefully, referring to Fritz’s garage band, the Grinning Bishops, who had once practiced in my parents’ garage but had mercifully moved their act to his friend Chuck’s basement. Apparently things were different now, though, because Fritz actually made more money some weeks with the band than he did working as a manager at Barnes and Noble. In any case, our family tended to remember those appalling years, the discordant notes and loud feedback still echoing in our nightmares.
Some kids grow out of that nasty argumentative phase, but my brothers and I still argue–I think, sometimes, it’s to express our closeness. We feel we have the right to be sarcastic because we’re family. We don’t strike each other or fling things, but we have potentially cruel tongues.
Still, it was my brothers I went upstairs and called now. They share an apartment, so they were able to yell at me on two extensions.
“Wait until Mom hears this,” Fritz threatened. “She’s gonna have a nutty. She was crocheting some sort of little bag for your wedding.”
“Shut up, Fritz, that’s a secret,” boomed Gerhard in my ear.
“Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it? She dumped him.” The two of them began an argument of their own, and it comforted me briefly, until I heard Jack playing his guitar upstairs. He knew I could hear him; I’d confided that to him long ago. I could even hear lyrics when my window was open, which it was now. Jack was playing “Devil Woman.” Real subtle.
“We weren’t even engaged,” I protested.
“It doesn’t matter, Madman. He’s the one she wants you to marry. Everyone does. He’s not a total loser, like some we could name, so of course you had to break up with him.” Fritz, as usual, opted for criticism over compassion.
Gerhard was gentler, by a hair. “Really, Madman, we did like him. I have to wonder if the problem isn’t just something you’re manufacturing, maybe for a little drama?”
“Okay, I’m hanging up now!” I yelled just before I slammed down the receiver.
I rubbed at my eyes. There was no one who was going to be on my side here, except maybe good ol’ Gloria Steinem, and I didn’t think she’d be returning my e-mails, or voice mails, or whatever kind of mails I might send her.
This was where Fate intervened. Jack had switched to something more melancholy; it sounded like some sort of sea chantey. I imagine he thought it would send me running up there in a diaphanous gown, seeking a night of passion in his bed. In his defense, I suppose it had happened before. I’m only human, and I do love the guitar. However, despite the sound of the lonely sailor above me, I remained on my couch, and I was back into Agatha Christie and Mrs. McGillicuddy when the phone rang. It was Fritz. He’d forgotten to tell me, in his anger, that Logan Lanford had disappeared. Naturally, Fritz was holding me personally responsible.
two
The following morning I walked briskly out the door, appreciatively sniffing the autumn-scented air, my mind still on Logan Lanford. Logan and I had gone to high school together, and it was I who had recommended Logan for Fritz’s band. Logan was a great musician, and I’d been concerned about him since he’d gotten fired from his public-relations job at the town hall a couple of months before. My mom worked part-time for the mayor, and I tried to pump her for information about Logan’s termination, but she merely shrugged and said that Mayor Paul had his reasons. Logan had a wife and two kids to support, so I mentioned to Fritz that Logan played bass. Fritz needed a bass player, and it seemed like the obvious solution.
I was still thinking about this, and about Fritz’s incoherent ramblings about Logan’s disappearance, when I spied Jack tinkering under the hood of my car. I was tempted to yell something, but I decided instead to catch him in the act. Furtively, catlike, I moved toward him, trying to stay in the cool shadow of the building. He must have seen me out of the corner of an eye, because he let the hood slam shut, which brought Mr. Altschul to the window with surprising speed, considering the arthritis and the lack of knee cartilage. Our landlord lingered at his ground-level window, ostensibly as a noise hunter, but quite obviously as an eavesdropper.
He had to be standing on a chair.
Jack looked ready to hare off in the other direction, but I was quick.
“What are you doing under my hood?”
“Checking your oil.” He was a bold one. He wore a look of complete indifference.
“What gave you the–who do you think–this is just so unbelievably–“
“You never check it, Madeline. Just because you’re mad at me doesn’t mean I’m going to stop caring about your safety.”
“Good timing, Jack. You couldn’t even wait a day before you displayed still another controlling behavior. I’m tempted to call the police. Really. You’ve committed a crime.”
That got his goat. “All right. Call the police. Tell them I checked your oil–which is fine, by the way–and gave you new wiper blades and filled your windshield reservoir. Tell them you’re my recently ex girlfriend, and some old habits die hard!” Jack was the kind of guy who didn’t get loud when he got angry, but he did develop some facial twitches. His one dimple would appear, just as it did when he was happy or mischievous. I stared at his dimple, too upset to meet his slate blue eyes.
He cleared his throat. “Besides. Technically, I didn’t ‘break into’ your car–you left it unlocked again.” He shrugged, as though my carelessness cleansed him of all responsibility.
I lowered my voice, aware of the long, curious nose in the window behind me. “This is what we’re fighting about, Jack: not because you’re not a good person or I don’t love certain things about you, but because you have this pathological need to control my life!”
“A lot of people would be grateful–“
“That’s not the point. All you had to do was come to me and offer, as a friend. I might have said yes, thank you, how nice of you. But you didn’t, and I’ll tell you why. Because you didn’t want to give me the option of saying no. Right, Jack?”
I had the brief satisfaction of seeing him squirm. “I didn’t mean to make you upset, Maddy. I just wanted–I felt–“
“You love her!” yelled Mr. Altschul, impatient with our labored conversation. “Mein Gott!” He slammed his window in despair, sending some very offended birds shrieking away.
We stood in silence for a moment, and then we began to laugh. It was a nice release. I was able to admire again how wonderful Jack looked when he was smiling–friendly creases at the corners of his eyes, straight white teeth, and the solitary, beloved dimple in his clean-shaven face.
“He’s taken our troubles very personally,” I said softly. “After all, that’s one hundred percent of his tenants with unhappy love lives. But I know we’re another soap opera to him. I hear him yelling at his TV all the time, like, ‘Don’t let her walk avay! Tell her you were drugged when Carly seduced you!'”
I imitated his German accent to the best of my ability, and Jack, grinning, nodded in recognition.
“He summarizes the plots for me when I’m stretching before a run. I guess I should stop stretching in front of the Old School.” This is what Jack called our building, because I told him that’s what Altschul means: “old school.” I realized I was softening, so I looked at my watch. “I’ve got to fly. I have to do some, uh–research.”
His eyebrows went up; he was curious. I could forgive that, because I happen to be very nosy about everything Jack does as well. However, he wasn’t going to make the mistake of asking what I was up to, not after two arguments in a row.
“Have a nice morning,” he said.
He looked rather forlorn, standing there with his windshield fluid. Things like that tempt a person to give in, but I had my principles. “Thanks.”
He touched my arm. “I have some bad habits, Maddy. I’ll work on them. You’ve been happy with me for a year, haven’t you?”
“Yes,” I acknowledged.
“Just tell me it’s not over. I don’t expect you to hop back into bed with me. Right away. Just tell me you’re not going to leave me over this, okay?”
“IÉ” I hesitated, confronted by the dimple in a truly earnest expression. “I’d like to see us work things out. We’ll see.” I opened the driver’s door of my rehabbed Merkur Scorpio, a car I’d chosen because it bore my astrological sign.
“Dinner tonight?” he asked, with an appealing amount of humility.
“We’ll see.”
“I’m cooking.”
I shut the driver’s door and rolled down the window a crack. “Let me see how the day goes. If you’re planning some kind of seductionÉ”
“I’m not, Maddy. I said I wasn’t.”
“Because what we need is communication, not sex.” This wasn’t entirely true, as one thing Jack and I had in common was a healthy zest for making love, but I was trying to make a point.
He put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Can you at least call and let me know? Chicken Shea takes two hours to prepare.”
Chicken Shea, I thought, suppressing a smirk. How did I end up dating a guy who named recipes after himself? Still, I happened to know that Chicken Shea was delicious, as was most of what Jack created in the kitchen.
“Fair enoug
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