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Michael Link’s INVIOLATE is featured in today’s FREE KINDLE NATION SHORTS excerpt

 

Editor’s Note: Today’s 11,000-word Free Kindle Nation Short excerpt is drawn from a challenging but ultimately rewarding and moving novel by today’s sponsor Michael Link. It’s definitely a novel for grown-ups only, and I read every word before making the decision to allow it as a sponsor, but I agree with the reviewer who called it “a perfect blend of shock and storytelling.” -S.W.

Inviolate

by Michael Link

4.4 out of 5 stars   17 Reviews

Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled

Here’s the set-up:

Inviolate is about a young girl who is brutally raped but learns to accept that while her physical virginity was stolen from her, only she can choose when and to whom she will surrender her innocence spiritually.

A novel about love and friendship, the story depicts the blind innocence of young girls unaware that potential danger from sex predators can occur at any time, and it relates the love that binds a family together and supports them after a tragic event disrupts their lives. It describes the terror and humiliation of sexual assault and the long-lasting trauma victims suffer afterward, as well as the collateral damage that is inflicted on their loved ones.

Inviolate compares the conflicting character of two men-one a violent sex predator who is able to hide his deviant psyche from even those closest to him; the other a gentle and kind man who loves baseball and mentoring youth sports, but who will one day be suspected of being a pedophile-and it illustrates the contradictions inherent in human nature when circumstantial events suggest that a person who is respected and trusted may be capable of committing an evil act.

 

Inviolate  

Inviolate


by Michael Link


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$2.99

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Inviolate

excerptFree Kindle Nation Shorts – July 3, 2011

An Excerpt from

INVIOLATE

 

By
Michael Link

 

Copyright © 2011 by Michael Link and published here with his permission

CHAPTER EIGHT

Just after one o’clock on Friday afternoon, two police officers went to the principal’s office at the high school and requested that Eugene Gillian be summoned from his class. They did not place him under arrest, but they told the principal that Gene needed to accompany them to the police station and answer some questions as a potential witness to a crime they were investigating.
An hour later, after the police called Gene’s mother at home, Tom and Lynn Gillian arrived at the police station. They were escorted to a small room and asked to take a seat at the table where their son was sitting. A few minutes later, a man wearing plain clothes and a police sergeant in uniform came into the room and introduced themselves as Detective Swenson and Sergeant Johnson. The officers stood across the table from where Gene sat next to his mother and Sergeant Johnson advised Gene’s parents that the police could only question their son in their presence, unless Tom or Lynn gave written permission otherwise, and she told them that Eugene was entitled to have an attorney present during questioning.
Tom asked the reason for the police wanting to question their son. The sergeant replied that two male perpetrators wearing Star Wars masks had abducted a thirteen-year-old girl from a residential street on Wednesday night somewhere between nine and nine-thirty. She had been pulled into their car and taken to another location in the city where she was sexually assaulted by one of the men.
Detective Swenson spoke then and told the Gillian couple that an informant had told the police that one of two men who had earlier been wearing Star Wars masks and stealing candy from kids who were trick-or-treating Halloween night might have been their son. He said the informant overheard the men speaking and was pretty certain he recognized Gene’s voice.
Lynn turned pale when the detective said that a girl had been raped. She quickly regained her composure and replied to the detective. “So just because this person might have sounded like Gene, you have arrested him? There are several teenage boys that I know of who have a voice somewhat similar to Gene’s; are you going to arrest them as well?”
“No one has been arrested yet,” Detective Swenson told her. “We asked your son to come with us to the station for questioning because the informant told us that he recognized the voice of a person wearing a Darth Vader mask as that of your son, and the assault victim was attacked by someone wearing a Darth Vader mask. We need to pursue the matter until we have a reason to be in doubt that your son is who we are looking for. Depending on what transpires today, your son could possibly be arrested, but right now we are just asking him some questions.”
Sergeant Johnson told Gene to keep his seat at the table and asked his parents to seat themselves in the two chairs against the wall to the right of their son. The officer sat down in the chair Tom had vacated and Detective Swenson took the other. He asked Gene where he had been Halloween night between eight and eleven p.m.
“He was at home playing pool with a friend in our basement,” Lynn answered for her son.
“Mrs. Gillian, we asked your son the question. Since he is a minor, we have to talk to him with you or your husband present, but we need you to allow him to answer the questions. You will have an opportunity to comment on anything you like when we finish.”
The detective stared at Lynn without blinking and she glared back at him and then looked at her husband. Tom looked at her with a calm expression and said that it would be better if she remained quiet for now. Gene then spoke and confirmed what his mother had just said.
“You did not leave the house at any time?” Swenson asked him.
Gene hesitated and resisted the urge to turn and look at his mother. He answered that he and his friend, Al Friesen, had gone out about seven o’clock and driven around town for awhile but they had returned to his parents home about a half hour later and stayed there the remainder of the evening until a little after ten when Al went home.
“Is Mr. Friesen also a high school student?”
“No, he graduated last May. He works for the railroad.”
“Were you in your car or Mr. Friesen’s when you were driving around?”
“We were in his.”
“What model and color is it”
“A nineteen-ninety black F-150 Ford pickup with a black cover over the bed.”
“Did you or Mr. Friesen wear Halloween masks while you were driving around?”
Gene looked perplexed. “No. I think we are a little too old to be wearing Halloween masks. I suppose your next question will be if we went trick-or-treating.”
“Did you?” the police sergeant asked.
“No, we did not.” Gene smirked at the officer and turned his head and looked at his mother for reassurance, but his father gave him a dark glare and he dropped the smirk and put a neutral expression on his face.
“Exactly what time did Mr. Friesen leave?” Sergeant Johnson asked.
“Like I said, it was around ten, but I don’t know the exact time. We had the TV on, although we were playing pool and not watching it, and the Denver news was on when he left.”
Tom stood and told the officers that he wished for any further questioning to be halted until he and his wife could arrange for an attorney to be present. Detective Swenson told him that Eugene would be taken to a holding cell and he would not be questioned any further by anyone until they returned with an attorney. Tom asked what would happen with his son if they were not able to retain someone that afternoon and Swenson told him that the police could hold Eugene in jail up to twenty-four hours for questioning before they had to formally charge him with a crime or release him, so they might want to get started finding an attorney right away.
After Tom and Lynn left, JJ Johnson went to her desk and called the Wojcik residence and alerted them that she might be calling back and requesting that Connie to come to the station and listen to some suspects in a lineup speak. JJ assured Mary that Connie would not have to deal with any of them face to face and she would do everything possible to make the experience as minimally traumatic for her as possible.

At five o’clock, Tom and Lynn returned to the police station accompanied by Harry Martin, a local attorney well known for defending people charged with drunk driving and men accused of physical abuse of their spouses or children. When they arrived, Detective Swenson showed them to a different conference room where he told the attorney the rudimentary details of the alleged crime, and then briefly reviewed the questions he and Sergeant Johnson had asked Eugene that afternoon. He then excused himself and said that he might be gone for a while, but they were free to go the station’s small lobby with coffee and vending machines, and asked them to let the officer at the front desk know if they were going to leave the building. He told the Gillians they would see their son shortly.

When Stan, Mary and Connie arrived at the station twenty minutes later, they were taken to a small room with a window hidden behind closed curtains and Stan noticed a circular speaker mounted on the wall to the right of the window with a pushbutton switch below it. Ten minutes after they entered the room, a youthful looking man wearing a gray suit entered the room with JJ Johnson. He introduced himself as Steven Blair, and said that he was the county attorney. He explained that felony cases were tried in county court and not prosecuted by the city attorney. Both Mary and Stan recognized him from his picture in the paper prior to the last election. They shook hands and Blair asked Mary and Connie if they wanted chairs to be brought in for them. After they both declined, he asked Connie to try to recall everything the men who had assaulted her said. He told her to try to remember word for word what her attacker said, including when he first stepped from the car and confronted her.
As Connie related what she could recall of what both men had said from the time she was accosted until they released her, Blair listened carefully to what she told him and then repeated her words back to her. When she told him she could not think of anything else, he nodded to Sergeant Johnson. JJ left the room and came back a few minutes later with Harry Martin. Martin was introduced to the Wojciks and then he stepped away and stood at the wall near the closed door.
Sergeant Johnson left the draperies closed and went to the speaker on the wall and pushed the white button, and then asked someone she addressed as ‘number one’ to repeat the words she told him.
“Please say in a deep voice, ‘Little girl, I am your father. Do you have any treats for me tonight?’
The voice over the speaker repeated the words.
“No, I want you to use a deep voice. I am sure that you have seen the Star Wars movies; I want you to speak like you are imitating Darth Vader.”
“Little girl, I am your father. Do you have any treats for me tonight?” the man replied in a baritone voice that sounded a great deal like Darth Vader.
Sergeant Johnson, Blair, Stan and Mary Wojcik, and Attorney Martin all looked at Connie, who did not change her expression.
“Number two; please repeat these words as if you are Darth Vader speaking.” Sergeant Johnson repeated the phrase again.
The second voice was not as good an imitation as number one’s was. Connie stared at the closed draperies with an neutral expression on her face and did not react at all.
When ‘number three’ spoke, Connie frowned but did not say anything. JJ Johnson then asked ‘number four’ to repeat the same words in a Darth Vader voice. As soon as he spoke, the expression of fear that passed over Connie’s face told JJ that ‘number four’ was the man who raped the young girl. It took Connie several moments to regain her composure.
JJ asked ‘number four’ to say in a normal speaking voice, “Close the door and let’s get out of here!”
Connie put her hands to the sides of her face and leaned forward to hear him clearly. When ‘number four ‘repeated the words, she turned to her mother and said, “That is him. That is who raped me.”
Harry Martin asked Sergeant Johnson, “Is she absolutely certain that is the voice she heard?”
JJ asked number four to repeat what he had just said. Connie listened and then nodded. She turned to Mary, put her face against the hollow between her mother’s neck and shoulder, and began crying. Mary put her arm around her and JJ looked at Steve Blair, who in turn looked at Harry Martin. Blair told the attorney that he would speak with him shortly and asked him to wait outside the door.
Martin took a breath and let it out quietly, then nodded at Blair and walked out of the room. The county attorney then told Stan and Mary that they could take Connie home and he would be in touch with them in the morning.

After the Wojciks left, Detective Swenson walked out of the adjacent room where the men in the line-up were and came over to where Blair, Martin, and JJ were standing in the hallway. Blair told Swenson to take Eugene to be processed for holding in the city jail, and then he and Harry Martin returned to the room where Gene’s parents were waiting. Blair told Tom and Lynn that Eugene was going to be held in custody overnight pending being charged with first-degree rape in the morning and he would likely spend the weekend in lockup at the county jail. He told them that an arraignment hearing would be held on Monday in county court. He said that if Eugene was indicted on Monday, the judge would determine whether he could be released on bond. If not, he would be returned to the county jail to await his trial. He requested that the Gillian couple come back to the police station the next morning at nine o’clock and he asked Martin to meet them there.

After they returned home, Lynn tried to call Al Friesen. There was no answer and at eight o’clock, she tried again. When Al answered, he was polite and friendly to her, and asked the reason for her call. Lynn related the day’s events beginning with the first call she had received from the police station.
“I told the police that you and Gene were in the basement on Halloween night playing pool. I know you boys went out for a while after you got here, but Gene told me when he went to bed at ten-thirty that both of you had returned to the house about seven-thirty and had been in the basement since. He told me you had just gone out the back door in the kitchen. Is that correct, Al?”
“Yes, Mrs. Gillian. That’s correct,” Al agreed.

At a few minutes before nine Saturday morning, Tom and Lynn Gillian came to the police station along with Harry Martin. They were shown to a different room than the evening before and asked to take seats at the far side of a conference table. At nine o’clock, the county attorney entered the room along with Gene and the detective and police sergeant who interrogated him the previous day. JJ thought to herself that Gene appeared to be more nervous than he had been Friday afternoon, when he had at times been cocky and had openly shown his contempt for the police in his response to some of their questions.
Detective Swenson went to a video camera mounted on a tripod and turned it on, then seated himself next to JJ. He looked at Blair and then at Gene and asked Gene to describe where he had been and what he had been doing on Halloween night. Gene continued to hold to his story that he had been at home all night except for a period beginning from seven p.m. when he and his friend, Al Friesen, had taken Al’s truck and driven up and down Main Street one time and then around the community college campus before returning to the Gillian home about thirty minutes later. Swenson asked if they had stopped and spoken with anyone and Gene replied no.
Swenson looked at Lynn Gillian and asked in a manner that suggested he could not remember exactly what Lynn had told them the day before, where she had been Wednesday night. Lynn answered that both she and her husband had been at home, along with their son. Swenson asked if her son had remained in the house the entire evening or if he had gone out at any time. Lynn repeated what she had said the day before, that Gene had been at home when his friend Al arrived around six forty-five. She said that the boys had left the house at seven p.m. and returned at seven-thirty, give or take five minutes. Sergeant Johnson pressed her if she knew for sure that Gene had not gone out again later and Lynn told her yes, she was sure. She said that she had heard the boys when they came in about seven-thirty and that she had heard them playing pool in the basement each time she had gone to the kitchen for a glass of water.
“Do you recall how many times you went to the kitchen?” Swenson asked.
“At least twice, perhaps three times,” Lynn answered.
“Mr. Gillian, where were you during the period we are asking about?” Swenson asked Tom.
“I was in my study reading. And I can neither affirm nor contradict what Lynn has told you. I keep the heat register in that room closed so that whatever noise Gene is making downstairs in the family room does not disturb me.”
Swenson then asked the Gillian family to make themselves comfortable in the room while he had statements transcribed from the recording machine that was on the table. He said it should not take more than half an hour for the statements to be ready for their signatures. He nodded at Gene’s parents and left the room. JJ followed him out and Steve Blair asked the Gillian’s to excuse him and then asked Harry Martin to come to another room with him for a few minutes. Inside the room adjacent to where the Gillians were, Blair closed the door and then he contested the veracity of Mrs. Gillian’s statement.
“That girl’s reaction when she heard your client’s voice last night left no doubt whatever in my mind that he is the one who raped her. You saw it yourself, Harry. What this guy’s mother is telling us is total bullshit and she is trying to protect her son from prosecution. She is leaving herself open for a charge of perjury if she stays with her story.”
“I heard what the girl said, but I find it hardly credible that someone who admits that she only heard a few short sentences from her attacker can distinctly recall his voice,” Martin answered.
The attorney continued arguing on behalf of his client, saying that Eugene’s voice had no unusual qualities or accent and many people could easily confuse it for someone else’s. He said there was a very wide margin of doubt about Gene’s guilt and reminded Blair that a wrongful conviction could destroy an innocent boy’s life. He told Blair that he was confident that no judge would approve Gene going to trial on what little evidence the police had.
Blair reminded him that the police were awaiting the laboratory report from Connie’s clothes and should have it soon..
On Saturday morning at eleven-thirty, Steve Blair called the Wojcik home and spoke with Stan and told him that the suspect who was in custody would be arraigned in county court on Monday. He asked Stan to come with Mary and their daughter to his office at ten o’clock Monday and told him that he had requested an arraignment hearing for Monday afternoon at the courthouse, but he wanted to go over Connie’s statement of everything that happened to her one more time before the hearing.

* * * *

When Al Friesen arrived for work in Fort Collins just before seven a.m. Monday morning, Detective Leonard Swenson was already there waiting for him. The detective had tried to locate Al on Saturday and again on Sunday, but apparently the Friesen family had gone out of town for the weekend. Swenson had checked into where Al worked and the type vehicle he drove and the license number. He stepped out of his car and walked up to Al just as he parked his black Ford pickup near the crew shack. He introduced himself and told Al that he needed to ask him a few questions about his whereabouts on the previous Wednesday night.
Al seemed to hesitate before telling him that on Halloween night he had been playing pool with his friend Gene Gillian at Gene’s home. He said that he arrived a little before seven p.m. and left around ten. When asked if he and Gene were in the Gillian home during the entire three-hour time period, Al again hesitated and then said that they left about seven for a half-hour or so to drive to the college campus to see if anyone they knew was driving around and might know about any parties going on that evening. His story agreed with what Gene Gillian had said on Saturday, yet Swenson detected that Al seemed angry about something.
“You look like you are a little pissed about something. Did you and Gene have any argument or anything Wednesday evening?”
“Yeah,” Al answered. “We were playing pool for two bucks a game and Gene was cheating. That is why I left early at ten o’clock. Gene is my friend, but when it comes to playing cards or pool, he cannot be trusted any further than you can throw a mule.”
As soon as the detective had walked up to his truck, Al knew he was a cop. He decided that for now he would stay with the story Mrs. Gillian had subtly coached him to say, but if it looked like the cops had evidence that would make him an accomplice to kidnapping and rape, he was going to ask for a deal with the prosecutor granting him immunity in exchange for his testimony against Gene.
When Swenson seemed satisfied with his answers and left, he breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully the police would not contact him again. Again, he vowed that he would never again have anything to do with Gene Gillian.

When Stan, Mary, and Connie arrived at the City Attorney’s office at ten, Sergeant Johnson was in Blair’s office with him. She stood and told Stan and Mary hello and then hugged Connie. Blair asked the Wojcik family to take a seat in the chairs that had been set in front of his desk.
JJ began. “There is a problem. The lab report is back and they found traces of Connie’s blood on the thigh area of her leggings and some at the crotch that apparently seeped through from her panties. There is no trace of semen on them.”
“What about in her panties?” Stan asked.
“That is where the problem lies. There is absolutely nothing on her panties.”
JJ looked at Mary. “I’m guessing that you took her panties from the clothes hamper. Apparently, you picked the wrong ones. I hope that you haven’t yet done laundry and washed the panties she wore on Halloween.”
“Oh, God. I washed clothes on Saturday. But I sorted Connie’s underwear and I didn’t see anything on any of her panties.”
Connie started crying. “It doesn’t matter, Mom.” She put her face in her hands.
“What do you mean, Connie?” JJ asked.
Connie wiped her eyes and looked at her mother. “When I came home and took my panties off, I saw what was in them and I flushed them down the toilet. I’m sorry.”
There was complete silence in the room for a minute, and then JJ said, “Well, that explains the lab report.”
She looked at Connie. “You were in shock, Connie. I might have done the same thing if it had been me.”
Connie appeared to be in a trance and did not reply. Blair asked the police sergeant to take her to the outer office and wait there with her. After the door closed, Blair told Mary and Stan what Gene’s mother had told the police and him. He said that the suspect’s mother had signed a statement claiming under oath that when the alleged rape of Connie had occurred on Halloween night, her son had been in the family’s basement playing pool and watching TV with a friend.
Mary and Stan turned to each other and grasped hands, then looked back at Steve. Mary stared at him with a confused expression on her face.
“You surely do not believe this?” Stan asked. “Connie recognized his voice. He raped our daughter.”
Blair looked at the couple with a grimace and shook his head slowly before replying. “I believe Connie recognized his voice, and so does Sergeant Johnson. The look on her face when he spoke convinced JJ and me that he is the person who assaulted her. Here is the problem for the police and myself. I requested an arraignment hearing for this afternoon at three o’clock. However, a statement by the suspect’s friend who was with him on Halloween agrees with the mother’s sworn statement that her son was at home during the time of Connie’s assault and Detective Swenson said that it sounded believable enough to probably convince a jury. Also, none of the suspect’s family’s cars are blue. His friend drives a black pickup truck and his friend’s father a blue truck and his mother a white sedan. Connie said her attackers were in a blue sedan. The police are trying to determine if the suspect has other friends who drive a blue sedan, but it appears at first effort that no one he runs around with does.”
He continued, “Other than Connie’s recognition of his voice, I have little to take to the judge. The boy has no juvenile record of criminal acts or misdemeanors, nor any history of trouble in school. It will be a very tough sell without any forensic evidence.
If I would be successful at the arraignment hearing, he is seventeen years old and he would be tried as a juvenile unless I could convince a judge otherwise. But no matter, since things likely would not go our way until the police can accumulate more evidence against him, I just cancelled the hearing and I have instructed the police to release the suspect. Hopefully, they will be arresting him again within a few days when they can find enough evidence to substantiate a charge of rape. In the meantime, I will remind you that a person is considered innocent until proven guilty.”
Neither Stan nor Mary responded and both stared at him.
Blair told them, “If he is the person who assaulted Connie, we are determined to prove it. But right now we do not have enough against him to convince the judge.”
“It may be hard to prove,” Stan answered. “When Detective Johnson had Dr. McGinnis meet Connie and my wife and I at the hospital Thursday morning and he examined Connie, he told me afterward that Connie’s hymen was not intact and there were significant small tears in her tissues that indicated both that sexual activity had occurred recently and that it was likely her first sexual experience. But he said that it was not enough to stand alone as evidence that she was raped. He warned me that if he had to testify in court, he would have to admit that Connie could have had sexual intercourse with anyone on Halloween night.
He looked at his wife and then back at Blair. “Since Dr. McGinnis did not find any trace of semen the next day, not only is it really bad that Connie bathed, but Mary and I really messed up when we did not call the police immediately. If she would have been examined that night, he might have found what the police need.”
“Yes, possibly so. And possibly the DNA would have matched that from other unsolved rape cases,” Blair replied.
Stan grimaced in frustration and looked down at the floor.
“Can we ask who the suspect is?” Mary asked.
“Yes, but since his name will be not be released to the public until he is indicted, please keep it confidential. His name is Eugene Gillian; he is a high school senior. ”
“I am sure that Connie does not know him and I have never heard of him-have you, Stan?”
Stan shook his head no and she continued. “Why would Connie have identified his voice in the lineup if she was not certain that it was him who assaulted her? I hate calling anyone a liar, but Mrs. Gillian is perjuring herself to protect her son.”
“Off the record, I agree with you. However, when we bring Eugene to trial, I doubt that she is going to perjure herself in court. If she is unsure whether her son was at home the entire night on Halloween, she is probably going to recant her statement and claim she does not clearly remember the exact times events took place during the evening. Please try not to let this upset either of you too much right now. Also, I would suggest that you do not tell Connie anything when you leave here. Her testimony is going to be extremely important and she should not be aware of anything that could possibly influence her to add to her story, or to say anything the judge would pick up on as her being in doubt.”
“So exactly what do we tell her?” Mary asked.
Blair did not answer her. After a minute of silence passed, Tom and Mary stood and left his office.

When the Gillian family returned home from the meeting with Steve Blair on Saturday morning, Tom told his wife he needed to go to the gas plant for a couple hours. After he turned onto Interstate 25, he stayed in the right lane with the cruise control set at sixty-five. His mind was far away and he constantly had to remind himself to pay attention to the traffic passing by him; Colorado drivers were no different from big city freeway drivers and many of them would pull into the right lane after passing without waiting to allow a safe distance from the car behind them.
His thoughts were on his son and his wife. He could never imagine Lynn deliberately lying about anything, especially something as serious as providing a false alibi for their son in an accusation of rape. Both he and Lynn had been stunned when they were told what the police were questioning Gene about, but if it was true that Gene had assaulted a young girl, there was no way either of them could ever excuse such a thing. They would pay an attorney whatever it cost to have a proper legal defense for him; but despite their heartbreak, they would expect their son to be held accountable.
Tom tried to tell himself that Gene could never do such a thing, but he was nagged by his awareness that their son had a mean streak that Lynn refused to acknowledge. He remembered the football game when Gene had ruthlessly tackled the boy in the end zone. It had sickened him and he had wanted to take Lynn’s arm and leave the stands, but he had remained in his seat and convinced himself that it was just the passion of competition and a high level of adrenaline that caused Gene to commit such a flagrant violation of fair play.
It was a week later when they were eating supper that he asked Gene if he was aware that the boy he had tackled would be unable to play football again due to a back injury. Gene had nonchalantly shrugged and said, “Yeah, that is a shame,” and then looked down at his plate, but Tom had seen the smirk on his face. He had been shocked and he had wondered when his son had become so callous.

Lynn stared up at the ceiling from where she was laying on her and Tom’s bed. When Donna and Bob Marsh put a ‘For Sale’ sign in yard the spring before last, a week later she had gone over to ask Donna where they were moving. Donna had been very abrupt and said that they were staying in town but they wanted to find a larger home. Donna had acted very strangely, and Lynn left still suspecting that she and Bob were having problems in their marriage. She thought about Donna not returning any of her phone calls after they had moved.
Why did Shannon stop coming over? she wondered.
After she pondered the question for a few minutes, she tried to recall minute by minute the events of Halloween night. She had been in the living room reading when Gene surprised her by walking in from the kitchen sometime around ten o’clock. He told her that he and Al had returned to the house a few hours earlier and they had been in the basement playing pool and watching TV. Lynn had raised her eyebrows when Gene said that; she had not heard the boys come in earlier and she had not heard Al leave a few minutes ago. She also felt sure that unless they had sneaked beer into the basement, Gene would have been upstairs getting Cokes from the refrigerator at least a couple times during the past three hours. She had tried to smell if there was beer on her son’s breath, but he was standing too far away. She had wondered why he might be fibbing to her, but she did not dwell on the question and returned to reading her book. Gene returned to the basement and she assumed he was going to bed.
On Friday afternoon when she and Tom were told that Gene was being questioned about a girl who had been raped on Halloween night, Lynn suddenly realized that she must have been mistaken when she doubted what Gene said. He had distracted her from her book. It was at that moment in the police station when she clearly remembered hearing the boys downstairs.
Now she thought to herself that if Gene had been fibbing about being home and he actually had sex with the girl that night, she had consented to it and she had not been raped. And even if he was guilty of getting a little rough with the girl, he had likely been under the influence of liquor. Whatever did happen was not something that justified him going to prison. She told herself that many other teenagers have committed serious crimes and gotten probation and later had the slate wiped clean, and her son should be entitled to the same break as them.

CHAPTER NINE

When Stan, Mary and Connie arrived home Monday morning after meeting with Steve Blair, Mary called Angela Russo and asked if it would be all right if she came over to the Russo home sometime that day before the children arrived home from school. Although Mary and Angela visited occasionally on the telephone and their families usually sat together at church dinners at Saint Ann’s, they did not often visit each other’s home; it was the bond between their daughters that was the main reason for their friendship. Mary considered Theresa to be like a daughter of her own and she knew that Angela felt the same way about Connie.
Mary arrived a little before three in the afternoon and told Angela what had happened to Connie on Halloween night. Angela began crying along with her and when Mary finished, the two mothers sat silently at the dining table, each absorbed in their own thoughts but sharing an agony over the physical pain and personal degradation that Connie had suffered. When Marcus and Theresa arrived home a half hour later, Angela told her son that she and Mary needed to visit with Theresa alone for a while and asked him not to disturb them. Theresa looked at her mother questioningly and they went to her room and Angela closed the door quietly.
“Theresa, we need to talk. Mary wants to tell you about something that happened to Connie after she left here to go home Halloween night,” Angela said.
Theresa had called the Wojcik home for Connie Thursday evening and when Mary told her that she was not feeling well, she asked if that was why Connie had missed school that day. Mary told her yes and that she was in bed with the flu. When Theresa called again on Saturday, she told her that Connie was still not feeling well and was sleeping, but she would give her a call as soon as she started feeling better. As soon as she heard her mother’s words, Theresa’s face turned pale and she began crying and looked away. Angela sat down on the bed while Mary remained where she was standing. Theresa finally looked at her mother and then at Mary.
“What happened to Connie? Has she been hurt? Is the reason that she hasn’t been in school because she is really sick with something?”
Mary told her what she had confided to Angela an hour earlier. Theresa put her hand to her mouth and screamed, “Oh, my God!” She knelt on the floor in front of Angela and put her head in her mother’s lap and began sobbing. Marcus knocked on the door and asked if everything was all right. Angela answered that it was, but that they needed to be alone. When Theresa stopped crying, her mother took her daughter’s head in her hands and raised her face to look at her.
“Theresa, has any boy ever done anything to you?”
She shook her head and said no, and then asked, “How could God let this happen to Connie? She would never allow someone to touch her in a sinful way.”
“That is a question I cannot answer, honey.”
Mary said to Theresa, “Connie is going to need all your prayers and support to get through this, but she is a strong girl, and over time she will be alright.”
Angela voiced her agreement with Mary’s assurance.
“We will all be here for Connie. This is too big a load for her to try to carry alone.”
She told Mary, “And we are here for you and Stan and Carl as well. You all have our love and prayers. Anytime any of you feel the need to talk with someone outside your family, please do not hesitate to come to us. This is going to hurt Tony deeply when I tell him. He and I both consider Connie to be like our own child.”
Mary grasped her hand and squeezed it and thanked her.

After Mary had gone, Angela told her daughter that she must keep what happened to Connie confidential.
“You must be sure that you and Connie avoid this boy, Gene Gillian. Mary said that he lives over on Lark Street a few blocks north of where we are-do not even walk past his house. You cannot tell your friends anything about Connie or about him, but if you ever hear any of them say anything that would lead you to think they might be associating with him, please come home and tell me. When he does go to trial, Gillian will be sent away to a reform school or possibly to prison, but until then, you need to be sure that neither Connie nor you are ever in danger from him. Or from any other boys who you do not know well.”
“Mom, they took Connie when she was two blocks from our house. Is there anywhere that we might not be in danger if we’re out walking at night?”
Angela took a breath and held it for several seconds, then shook her head as she exhaled.
“I don’t want you out walking at night unless Marcus is with you. If you are going to Connie’s house after dark, your father or I will take you.”
She started to open the bedroom door, and then turned back to Theresa.
“I will talk to Marcus and tell him what happened. He is very fond of Connie and it would be unfair to keep what has happened to her from him, but do not tell your brother about the Gillian boy. Marcus does not need to know anything about him.”
Theresa understood the reason why her mother was telling her that and she nodded her head but did not reply.

Connie returned to school on Tuesday morning. A few students asked her why she had been absent and she replied that she had been sick. Theresa was the only classmate who knew what had happened to her, and by the end of the day, she felt less worried about any word of it getting out. Still, it had been a very stressful day for her and she whispered a prayer of thanks when the buzzer sounded at three-thirty.

The next Saturday after lunch, Connie told her mother that she wanted to go to confession that afternoon. Mary drove her to Saint Ann’s Church at three o’clock and after she pulled into the parking lot, she told her daughter that she would wait for her in the car.
When Connie came out of the church twenty minutes later, her face was streaked with tears and Mary knew that she had told Father Kane about her attack. She was glad that Connie had told the priest; if Connie would agree, she planned to contact him and ask for an appointment for Connie and her to come see him at the rectory. She voiced her idea to Connie and asked if she had any objections. Connie did not answer for a moment, and then told her mother she would like that very much.
Monday morning after she took the girls to school, Mary called Saint Ann’s rectory and asked Father Kane if she could see him at the rectory that afternoon after three-thirty if it would be convenient for him. When she identified herself on the phone, the priest immediately suspected the reason for her call. Several times since Saturday afternoon’s Confessions, the priest had thought about the girl who told him she was raped on Halloween night. He had been fairly certain that it was Connie Wojcik-Connie frequently asked unusual questions in religion class and she was one of his favorite eighth grade students-but he had not said her name and let her know that he knew who she was. He frequently thought that Connie reminded him of a girl he once had a big crush on when he was her age, many years ago.

When he greeted Mary and Connie at the rectory door a few minutes before four that afternoon, he saw the look of agony in Mary’s eyes and was very glad that she had called him. He took Mary and Connie into the rectory’s small living room where he felt it might provide a more intimate and home-like atmosphere than did the more formal reception parlor and invited them to sit where they liked. He offered them a glass of water or cup of tea and both of them declined. When he looked at Connie, he forced himself to keep a calm smile on his face and tried not to let the pain he felt for her show.
He started speaking in a soft voice, offering his sympathy and reassuring her of God’s love for her.
“It is actually good that you did not resist the man,” he told her. “God expects us to do what we have to in order to avoid further harm to us. Self-preservation is an instinct that is not indicative of cowardice-actually, it shows bravery. You might say it is a subconscious way of planning to live to fight another day. Now your highest priority is to recover from the trauma you have suffered. People do that in different ways. Some people seclude themselves from others; they are similar to a wounded animal that seeks a place of shelter where it can feel safe. Other people open themselves up freely to the ones they love and they gain great benefits from doing so. You have a very loving family and I know they are going to provide strong support for you. You also need to be aware that it may take a long time to get over this. That is completely normal.”
Connie alternated looking at the priest and then at the floor while he was talking, but gave no indication of wanting to reply to anything he had said.
The priest continued. “You’ve been through a lot, Connie. What happened to you should never happen to anyone. Sometimes it is hard to understand why God allows people to harm other people, but we have to trust in His Holy Will and believe that what awaits us in heaven will make up for all of the pain we suffer while we are living as humans on this earth.”
He looked at Mary and then back to Connie. “You are a very brave girl. It took courage to tell your parents what happened to you, knowing that it would hurt them very much. It breaks a mother or father’s heart when someone hurts their child, and a parent would much prefer that it happened to them instead of their daughter or son.”
Both Connie and Mary kept their eyes lowered and did not look at the priest while he was speaking. When he stopped talking and there was silence for a while, Mary asked if there was somewhere she could speak with him for a few minutes in private. She smiled at Connie and took her hand and reassured her daughter that it was just something personal that she had been wanting to discuss with the priest and being at the rectory provided an opportunity that would keep her from needing to make a separate visit.
Father Kane told her they could go into the reception room and offered to turn the TV on for Connie. Just as he and Mary stood up, Nixon chose to make his appearance. He went right to Connie and rubbed his body against her leg, and then allowed her to pick him up and she put her face next to his body. Mary looked at her holding the gray tabby and the expression that appeared on her child’s face transformed her for a moment into the little girl she used to be. Father Kane saw the tears in Mary’s eyes and he quickly turned away.

After the priest closed the door to the reception parlor, he gestured for Mary to sit down and then took his own seat and looked at her with his eyebrows raised questioningly.
“Do you think that we should have a psychologist talk with Connie?” Mary asked. “Our family doctor, Doctor McGinnis, checked her at the hospital and he saw her again at his office last Tuesday and told us that she is recovering well from her shoulder injury, but what might be in her mind is of much more concern to him. However, he told me that he is not qualified to address those issues, and he suggested that I contact a psychologist to talk to Connie if she shows any signs of continuing emotional trauma. She seems to be adjusting all right, but I still feel worried about her.”
“I think it is critical for her to talk with a professional as soon as possible,” Father Kane replied. “I also feel that it is important that you select someone who will be a good fit for Connie. I know that Father Sidney had a high regard for Kathryn Burns, who is a family counselor at the Foot Hills Mental Health Center. Kathryn is not a Catholic, but Father Sidney told me that she and he worked together several times and he recommended that if I ever needed professional help from outside the clergy that I contact her. I would be happy to call her for you and set up a time for Connie to see her.”
Mary gave the priest permission to contact the psychologist and relate what had happened to Connie and he told her he would give her a call on Monday. She hesitated for a moment, and then gave vent to her anguish.
“We are pretty certain we know who attacked Connie. The police arrested him and Connie identified his voice from behind a closed curtain, but his mother swore under oath that her son was at home Halloween night.”
She shook her head slowly. “If you could have seen the expression on Connie’s face when she heard his voice at the police station, you would never for a moment doubt that she immediately recognized it. Stan and I did not know that when she came home Halloween night, she flushed her panties down the toilet. I will never forgive myself for not calling the police immediately; if I had, and Dr. McGinnis had examined her that night, he might have been able to collect evidence that would have convicted that monster.”
She reached for a tissue from a box on the end table by her chair and dabbed her eyes, then continued. “My husband and I have done everything we could to provide for our children’s needs and to raise them in a loving home. Both our son and Connie have brought us nothing but pride and they are both good people who are pure of heart. Now, some animal who decides that he can take whatever he wants, including a young girl’s virginity, attacks Connie when she is walking home from a Halloween party. Father, I will never forgive who did this to her, and even though he may never go to trial, I will always hope he spends eternity in hell. And you know what? I do not even care whether God forgives me for my hatred of him.”
The priest looked at her without replying. He thought to himself that God likely understood her feelings.

Thomas Francis Kane had completed his seminary education and taken the sacred vows to become a priest twenty years earlier at the age of twenty-five. Over the years since his ordination, there had been several times when he had learned about a priest accused of pedophilic assault. Each time within days of hearing a story about a priest’s deviant behavior, he found himself contemplating and questioning his own adaptation to celibacy. He had never felt any significant regrets for the vows he had taken nor had he been provoked with any thoughts of a deviant nature as a substitute for his deprivation of any sexual relationship. The infrequent times he had felt an inadvertent desire toward an attractive woman he encountered, he had unfailingly confronted temptation directly by reminding himself there were no physical restraints on him or any laws that said he could not choose to leave the priesthood for a different kind of life. Still, each time he heard about a priest who abused a child, there would soon come a night when he would lay awake for a while questioning whether it was possible that some latent perversion was hidden within his own psyche and might someday express itself. Fortunately for his mental stability, those fleeting moments of doubt, which had no basis in reality, always passed quickly and he would fall asleep feeling reassured about his own character.

* * * *

Kathryn Jameson grew up an only child and from the time she was in Kindergarten, she was exposed to her parent’s dinner conversations about her father’s business and both of her parent’s political and social concerns about America in the second half of the twentieth century. She was a thoughtful child and whenever her teacher in any grade called upon her to answer a question on a current events subject, she seemed to have an unusual grasp of the details.
She was a very diligent student who never received a grade under an A and she was always truthful and forthright with her parents with a single exception. It was not until their seventy-year-old neighbor passed away when Kathryn was a freshman in high school that she finally told her mother that the man had molested her when she was eight years old.

John Beale was puttering in his garage one afternoon when Kathryn rode her bike into his driveway and called through the open overhead door asking what he was doing. He invited her to come in and shortly after she did, he pulled the door down. Alone with her in the garage, he coaxed the child into taking her pants down and then fondled her. Kathryn had been afraid to scream for help or to resist him because she feared he might never allow her to leave the garage. When John tried to probe her vagina with his finger, Kathryn screamed in pain and John became alarmed that they would be overheard. He apologized for hurting her and allowed her to pull her panties and shorts back up. He promised her he would never do anything like that to her again, and after she promised not to tell her parents what he had done, he raised the garage door and allowed her to leave. As she promised, she did not tell anyone what John had done to her, but after that day she never again stepped beyond the edge of the sidewalk onto the Beale property and she never spoke to John if she passed by when he was in his front yard. The reason she kept what John did a secret from her parents was because she was sure that her father would kill him, and then he would be sent to prison and she and her mother would never see him again.

When John had a heart attack while working on his lawn mower inside his garage, Kathryn went to her mother the day after his funeral and told her what had happened six years earlier. Her mother thought to herself that there was a certain ironic justice in John Beale going to his death inside his garage, but she cautioned Kathryn not to tell her father what John had done. She told Kathryn that he had enough on his mind right now trying to resolve some problems that had arisen at his business, but Kathryn thought to herself that her mother preferred to be the one to deliver this awful news to her dad.
It was not until four years after Kathryn told her mother what John Beale had done to her that Carol Jameson finally told her husband about their neighbor. The day after Kathryn had taken most of her clothes from her bedroom closet and moved into a dormitory at the university, she waited until after they eaten dinner and then asked her husband to come sit in the living room with her and said that she needed to talk with him.
Rob Jameson listened to his wife without interrupting her and when she finished speaking, he made only one comment.
“It is a good thing John is dead,” he said quietly, and then stood up and went out to the backyard.

When Kathryn was in high school, she was on the staff of the high school newspaper where she assumed the role of editor in her junior year. Both of her parents expected that she would pursue a journalism major in college and they were surprised when she told them she wanted to seek a graduate degree in Clinical Psychology. After she received her doctorate degree, she turned down an offer to work at a mental health clinic in Denver and instead accepted a lower paying position with the county supported mental health clinic at the local medical center.
She chose to work at the facility not so that she could live near her home town, although that was a very big plus for both her and her parents. It was her goal to be directly involved in helping children who lived in dysfunctional family environments. She wanted to be able to ‘get her feet wet’ and observe firsthand what conditions at home influenced the development and welfare of her clients as well as be in a position to encourage full family participation at changing the way they lived. She declined an offered similar position in Denver where the protocol was for conventional meetings with patients in an aseptic office environment.

When the new priest at Saint Ann’s parish called her office and asked her what the chances were that she could provide counseling for a thirteen year old rape victim, Kathryn told him that she would need to review her schedule and would call him back within the hour.
Five minutes after Connie took a seat in her office, Kathryn was glad she had juggled her schedule to make room for her and had not pushed Connie onto another therapist with a less full workload. Old memories resurrected themselves in her mind and she vividly recalled the terror she had felt when she was in John Beale’s garage. She found her heart going out to the child in front of her who seemed more saddened by the loss of her virginity than traumatized by the terror she had faced. Kathryn made a mental note that Connie was going to be her top priority.
She looked at Connie and smiled sadly. “I lost my virginity when I was eight. A man fifty years older than I was molested me in his garage. He ruptured my hymen with his finger.”
Connie stared at her with tears forming in her eyes but did not reply, and Kathryn continued.
“No one can ever give you back what has been taken from you physically. But you will remain a virgin in your soul until the day that you decide to share your body with a man you love. What is important now is for you to accept that something very bad happened to a truly good girl. You can keep it from affecting whatever happiness you seek in life if that is what you want. I would like to help you do just that.”

Carl Wojcik took special care not to allow either Connie or his parents to become aware of how deeply the assault on his sister troubled him. When he arrived at school on the Tuesday after Halloween, he began watching for Gene Gillian in the hallways between classes. It was a week before Carl spotted him and he stared at the older student with feelings of anger and hatred that he had never felt before in his life. Gene did not notice Carl watching him that day, but the following week when the two were approaching each other on the second floor hallway Gene apparently felt Carl’s burning stare. He looked at Carl without any expression and stared back at him for a few moments before turning his attention back to the student beside him who was talking to him. Carl wondered if Gillian did not know who he was or if the guy was so sociopathic that seeing the brother of the girl he had raped less than two weeks earlier staring at him did not trouble him at all. He was unaware that Gene Gillian had no idea of the identity of his victim.

A week before Christmas, the schools dismissed classes until the first week of January. It had snowed all afternoon and after taking his backpack of schoolbooks to his room, Carl went outside to shovel the walks. He had just cleared the walk from the front porch to the sidewalk in front of their home when he glanced up at a passing car and recognized Gene Gillian driving it. He stared at Gillian but the older student did not look his way and notice him.
Carl had looked up Gillian’s address; he too lived on the west side of town, but several blocks from the Wojcik home, and Carl wondered if his passing by was coincidental or if he regularly drove past their home to see if Connie happened to be outside and he could observe her. Carl wondered if Gillian harbored any ideas of repeating what he had done to Connie and he felt both fear and a building rage. Both of his parents had repeatedly emphasized that neither Connie nor Carl could tell anyone about Connie’s rape or that Gene Gillian was the prime suspect, cautioning them that the police officers handling the case wanted Gillian to think he was no longer under suspicion and was home free. Carl thought it was somewhat unfair that Theresa and her parents knew everything; he knew that Connie and Theresa talked about it, which was no doubt a good thing for Connie, but he had to keep his inner torment to himself and not share his feelings with anyone outside the family.

That night he awakened when he heard Connie cry out in her sleep in her bedroom next to his. He listened to see if she cried out again and considered going to her room and kneeling by her bed to be there to comfort her if she awakened. When he looked at the clock and realized a half hour had passed and he was wide-awake and unlikely to get back to sleep, he got up from his bed and quietly got dressed. He opened the door to his room and started for the stairs and he heard Clover scratch at the door from inside his sister’s room. Clover had hearing that Carl thought was incredible and he stayed standing where he was for several minutes hoping that the dog would not awaken his sister. He went down the stairs slowly, and then took his coat from the closet and went through the kitchen and out the back door feeling like a burglar or an escapee from a jail. Outside, he walked to the front sidewalk and turned north.
When he got to Lark Street ten minutes later, he crossed to the opposite side where the addresses were odd numbered; Gene’s address was an even number. He walked two blocks to where he was directly across from the Gillian home. There was a large juniper shrub at the corner of the driveway and sidewalk in front of the home behind him and he went to it and squatted down and stared across the street. He did not see Gene’s white Taurus and wondered if it was in the garage or if Gillian was out running around.
He is probably out stalking some young girl or already has one in his car and is raping her, he thought to himself and hoped that if Gillian was doing that, a police patrol car would suddenly drive up alongside his car and catch him in the act.
After he had squatted for twenty minutes, he felt his thighs and calves aching and stood up. He sat down on the lawn, which was covered with snow six inches deep and continued watching to see if Gene would drive up. It occurred to him that he did not have any kind of plan in mind to do anything if he did and decided that he was acting stupidly.
What if Gillian did come home and saw him watching him from across the street. He was sure that Gillian would confront him and he knew that he had little chance of winning a fight with him-he was as tall as Gene, but probably weighed twenty pounds less than him; also Carl was not athletic and he had only been in one fight in his life and that was with a fellow cub scout when he was eight years old.
He thought about Marcus Russo who was on the high school wrestling team and was never bothered by any of the school bullies. They all knew that Marcus could handle himself against much bigger guys than he was; they only picked on the students they knew they could easily whip. He wished he was like Marcus and not a bookworm nerd that the bullies ignored due to the fact that he was someone who would not bring them any recognition other than contempt from other students if they picked on him. He stood up again and headed home, feeling cold and tired.

* * * *

In December 1990, infantry units of the U.S. Marine Corps deployed to Saudi Arabia and joined other Marine, Army, and Air Force units already there, and U.S. naval forces were positioned in the Persian Gulf in preparation for an assault on Iraq’s forces inside Kuwait. Operation Desert Storm began on January 17, 1991 and following an intensive air-strike campaign, ground assault operations began February 23rd and lasted for one hundred hours. On February 28th, President Bush went on TV and told the American people that Kuwait had been liberated.
When the Persian Gulf War started, Gene parked himself in front of the television from the time he arrived home from school until near midnight each day, staying updated on the pro

Michelle Black’s Novel “SOLOMON SPRING” is Featured in Today’s Brand New Free Kindle Nation Short Excerpt

Kindle Nation fave Michelle Black recently re-acquired rights to Solomon Spring, a novel of which she says “it was the most widely reviewed and critically acclaimed of any of my novels and it marked the first time I veered into the historical mystery genre.”
Many of our readers will recall that we visited with Michelle last summer and shared an excerpt from her novel An Uncommon Enemy, which also featured Eden Murdoch as its heroine. 
As I wrote back then:
As some Kindle Nation readers are aware, I get to read a lot of great fiction and call it part of my job. I try to be as genre-agnostic as possible, because I know that my readers’ tastes — your tastes — are pretty diverse. But in addition to the fact that I love to be able to recommend a terrific read to all of you, I also make a point of trying to find books that particular individuals will really love. And tomorrow afternoon, when Betty and I arrive at the cottage in Vermont that we have rented for a week, I’m going to hand her one of our Kindles and recommend just one novel to her: Michelle Black’s An Uncommon Enemy.
  
If I weren’t for my efforts to be genre-agnostic, I probably would not have gotten hooked on this novel. But the fact is that it can’t be pigeon-holed in a genre; it’s just a great story, well told, with totally unexpected, astonishingly well-imagined characters.
The excerpt we shared from An Uncommon Enemy last August definitely struck a chord with our readers, and of course it is still available here in our Kindle Nation archive. So of course we are equally proud to publish her 10,000-word Free Kindle Nation Short today, so readers can meet, or meet again with, an author we admire greatly.
Solomon Spring

Solomon Spring  
(Eden Murdoch Mysteries of the Victorian West)

by Michelle Black
Kindle Edition

List Price: $2.99

Buy Now

  
The healing powers of the Solomon Spring hold no miracle cure for murder…
*A child custody battle turns deadly
on a windswept winter prairie in 1878;
*a man begins a quixotic search for lost love
in an effort to mend his
shattered life;
*a sacred Native American shrine is about to be defiled, but not if one determined woman can stop it.
These three seemingly unrelated stories come together at the Solomon Spring, a natural wonder held sacred for its legendary healing properties. Eden Murdoch returns there seeking solace, but she is soon on a collision course, not only with those who would bottle and sell the sacred waters, but also with her own turbulent past.
 Among the rave reviews: 

“Eden Murdoch, the central figure in Michelle Black’s second book set among the Cheyennes in Kansas in the 1870s, is one of those premature modernists who give life to so many fine historical mystery series–for example, Laurie R. King’s stories about Mary Russell.  There’s a well-drawn murder plot, a credible and touching love story, and an homage not only to contemporary feminism but also to the civil disobedience taught by Henry David Thoreau”.–Chicago Tribune

“Credible and engaging characters, particularly the fearless and feisty heroine, Eden Murdoch, together with a well-paced, suspenseful plot, make for a fine historical adventure yarn in this sequel to Black’s An Uncommon Enemy.”–Publishers Weekly

“The strong characters, the vivid details of life in the West in the late 1800s, and an engaging plot combine to make this an absorbing historical mystery.”-Booklist

An Excerpt from
Solomon Spring  

A Novel of Suspense from the Victorian West  

Featuring Eden Murdoch

by Michelle Black 

 
Chapter One
January 1879
Hays City, Kansas
The pale winter sun cast milk shadows on the brick floor of Brad Randall’s jail cell. He had opened the wooden shutter to gain some fresh air. The draft was bracing cold, but at least offered a respite from the stale atmosphere of the coffin-like room that confined him. The remnants of dried urine and vomit from previous tenants seemed to live in the mortar between the bricks and endured despite weekly moppings.
Unfortunately, opening the shutter let in the unwelcome sounds from outside as well-the sawing and the hammering, the occasional shout of one workman to another. He did not need a reminder of what they were building-a gallows.
He ran his finger inside his collar to feel the tender flesh of his throat. What would it feel like? Would the drop through the trap door break his neck and kill him instantly? Or would he linger and jerk and slowly strangle while the hungry eyes of the onlookers watched with a mixture of horror and perverse pleasure?
How long would it take? How long before he slid into the peaceful void of oblivion, free from the burdens of thought and memory?
He had witnessed only a single public execution in his life. He had been working for the War Department in Washington City in the summer of 1865 when the conspirators to the Lincoln assassination were hung. Some of his office cohorts had received coveted passes to the event from General Winfield Hancock and invited him to come with them to see the hanging after lunch. He would regret eating so much that noon.
He had been twenty-one years old and curious. The July sun broiled the crowd of two hundred as they watched the prisoners, three men and one woman, bound at the wrists, knees, and ankles before hoods and then nooses were pulled over their heads. One of the condemned men complained about the adjustment of his noose. Randall and his young friends had made rude jokes at this ironic turn.
Their high spirits melted in the noonday heat when the platform finally dropped. They watched one prisoner jerk and fight for five full minutes before his body went still. His bound knees drew up nearly to his chest again and again, then his whole body quaked and shuddered. Five long minutes. It seemed like an hour. Had the man been conscious all that time or did his body alone instinctively fight against its fate?
Another of the hanged men pissed himself. Randall grimaced at this embarrassing reminder of the frailties and limitations of the human vessel.
The date of Brad Randall’s execution was set for noon the following Saturday. They chose a Saturday so that parents could bring their children to watch. No doubt the children would think they were attending a carnival or county fair. Entertainment of any fashion brought a welcome respite from the monotony and ceaseless labor of a prairie homestead. Vendors would probably stroll through such crowds plying the eager onlookers with refreshments and trinkets. Randall wondered if those children would be meaningfully improved by the lurid spectacle of his death.
He needed to write a letter to his own child. Four times he picked up the pen and four times he set it down again in frustration. He had to tell his son something. He could not let his only legacy to the boy be newspaper clippings. Frontier journalism was so tawdry-reporters seldom drew a line between fact, speculation, and editorial opinion.
But how could he explain to an eight-year-old boy with mere words on paper that he stood at this fearful precipice because of his love for a woman, a woman who was not his son’s mother? How could he possibly make the boy, whom he loved so dearly, understand the impossible complexities that added up to a single human life, his life?
His thoughts traveled back to the first day of September last, barely five months ago. It now seemed like another lifetime. The events of that day had set in motion much of what had brought him to this sorry pass.
* * *
September 1, 1878, Washington, D.C.
He had never once worried about the dangers of returning home from a business trip a day early, unannounced. He had heard the familiar jokes about such incidents, but had never stopped to consider that the jests might have been born of true-life experiences. As it turned out, he arrived only half a day early, but that was enough.
He had taken the evening train out of New York and fully intended to be in his own bed by midnight, but for the unplanned delay caused by the derailment of another train. The hours it took to clear the tracks caused him to arrive in Washington City at five in the morning.
He emerged from the dirty gloom of the railway station to savor the deliciously cool predawn air that heralded the coming of autumn. At this hour, even bustling New Jersey Avenue was comparatively tranquil. The inviting freshness of the breezes, as well as the fact that he carried only a small valise, convinced him to walk the sixteen blocks to his home, a comfortable townhouse located just north of Lafayette Square that his wife had inherited from her late father. How surprised Amanda and little Brad Jr. would be to have him arrive in time for breakfast when they did not expect him until supper.
He would not venture to his office at the Department of the Interior until noon to allow himself time to bathe and shave and rest up from the hot and exhausting night in the uncomfortable coach.
When he rounded the corner of his street he noticed a hansom cab sitting directly at the base of his front steps. His pace quickened. He feared the doctor had been summoned to his residence. Only six months had elapsed since the tragic death of his little daughter and the thought that some illness or accident might befall Brad Jr., his eight-year-old son and namesake, constantly tormented him.
Randall paused when he saw his front door open and the figure of a man emerge holding his hat in his hand and his top coat folded over his arm.
“Goodbye, my darling,” said the man in a cheerful voice that Randall instantly recognized to be that of Clarkson, his young assistant at the Bureau.
Clarkson leaned back in the door and kissed Amanda Randall on the lips, then turned and dashed, practically skipped, down the stone steps and disappeared into the waiting cab. The horse’s hooves made a loud clopping noise against the paving stones that echoed in the morning silence. With a pulse pounding louder in his ears than the clatter of the retreating horses, he glanced up to his doorstep to see his wife, attired in her dressing gown, gaily wave as the hack withdrew from sight, then turn and shut the door.
Randall dropped his valise onto the sidewalk and drew several deep breaths. Though only thirty-four years of age, he thought he might actually suffer a heart seizure and fall over dead, just as his father-in-law had done three years earlier in their parlor after consuming a large Thanksgiving dinner.
He leaned against a lamppost for support and realized he was perspiring despite the morning chill.
A passing dairy wagon startled Brad when it pulled up.
“Are you all right, Mr. Randall?” called the milkman as he jumped down from the driver’s seat and rounded his wagon to collect his milk tray.
He did not know the man’s name and so was mildly surprised to be addressed by his. He had to remind himself that, as a public figure often quoted in the newspapers, he was frequently recognized in the streets of the nation’s capital.
He drew himself up with a facade of recovered dignity. “Just fine, thank you.”
“Coming or going?” asked the milkman cheerily. He apparently planned to accompany Randall up the steps as he made his morning delivery.
Randall glanced uncertainly at his door. It seemed to retain a shadow of the image of his wife kissing his young assistant, Clarkson.
“Going.” He forced a polite smile and reversed his steps, heading now to his office. He would arrive there by at least seven and avoid seeing any of his staff, most particularly Clarkson. He would shut himself in his office and try to sort out his thoughts.
By the time he reached the large and imposing Doric edifice of the Patent Office on G Street which housed the Department of the Interior, clouds had gathered to spoil the fine morning. Thunder rumbled overhead and Randall took refuge under the eave of the entranceway just before the rain commenced. He hurried down the corridor and passed only a cleaning man sweeping the marble floor. The man courteously nodded in acknowledgement and was surprised that the young commissioner rushed by without his usual greeting.
Brad found the atmosphere in his office stale and stifling from his three days’ absence. He struggled to open one of the two operable windows that bracketed the large view window behind his desk. The dampness in the air had swelled the window frame, but with enough yanking, tapping, and cursing, the sash finally yielded.
The rush of cool air bathed his flushed face. The fresh smell of the morning rain mixed with the dust on the windowsill and created an unpleasantly musty odor. He sat down in his upholstered chair and surveyed his surroundings dispassionately.
His was a large and well-furnished office, befitting a man of his importance: Commissioner of the Bureau of Indian Affairs. The very title itself resonated consequence with its cadence of prepositions. The work had consumed him in recent months, offering him much-needed solace after the death of little Sarah.
Had his obsession with his career caused his wife to stray?
Damn it all! He would not blame himself for this. The fault was hers and no one else’s. How would he proceed?
A divorce?
The word made him shudder. Being an important man in this grand office carried with it not only a certain privilege, but also an unpleasant loss of privacy. The esteemed Commissioner of Indian Affairs suing his wife for divorce on grounds of adultery and naming as correspondent his own assistant-the press would dance with the story. His enemies in the War Department would feast on it.
He had barely been able to tolerate the news stories on his daughter’s death. It galled him to read them, no matter how solemnly and compassionately written, in the news section of the papers rather than the usual obituary listings.
Now to face this…this hideous and unseemly scandal. How could he shield his little son from it?
What if he did nothing and pretended ignorance?  Could he go on living with Amanda?
Before he could fully digest this line of thought the little clock on his desk chimed 7:45. The sound of his subordinates arriving at their posts now distracted him.
With a cold stab of pain, he recognized Clarkson’s voice calling hello to their shared secretary, Mrs. Post. The icy sting melted instantly into fury. He rose from his desk, strode across the large office and peered out his door. Clarkson was no where to be seen, but plump Mrs. Post glanced up inquiringly from her pile of mail.
“Please send Mr. Clarkson in to see me at once,” he barked.
“Yes, sir. Uhm…is everything all right, Mr. Randall?”
“Yes, fine.” He closed the door before anyone else could see him. He realized from the look on Mrs. Post’s concerned face that he must appear a fright. He had not combed his hair, had not shaved, his clothes were rumpled from a night spent sitting on a miserably hot, stalled train. He must seem very far from the dapper and well-groomed young gentleman who usually occupied this grand office.
The moment he sat down, Clarkson rushed in, smiling, then looked slightly confused as he glanced at his superior’s disheveled appearance.
“Close the door behind you,” Randall said.
The young man did as he was told, then took a seat in one of the two chairs that faced the desk. “We didn’t expect you back so soon, sir.”
“No, I’m certain you didn’t.” He studied Clarkson’s slender, blandly handsome face. His slight build and medium height made him no physical match for his superior, who at six-four, towered over nearly all his associates. A decade earlier, Brad would have gladly looked forward to smashing in the impudent usurper’s face. At this stage in his life, however, he felt a violent outburst beneath his dignity, especially when he forced himself to image the newspaper headlines such an incident would spawn.
Clarkson smiled nervously under his supervisor’s scrutiny. Randall had previously liked the intelligent and witty young man. He was a Harvard graduate and had a fine career in public service to look forward to. Until now.
“Where was it you were born and raised, Clarkson? I don’t recall it.”
“A small town in western Ohio, sir. So small I doubt you’ve heard of it.”
“Well, urgent family business requires you return there immediately. At least, that is what you will tell everyone as you empty your desk and pack up your belongings.”
Clarkson frowned. Did guilt color the apprehension in his face? “I don’t understand-“
“I saw you leaving my house this morning. I saw you kissing my wife.”
Clarkson paled. “Oh, dear God. It’s…it’s not what you think.”
“It’s exactly what I think and we both know it.”
The young man’s Adam’s apple bobbed several times. Randall wondered what Amanda saw in him. He always thought Clarkson’s manner a trifle effeminate, though he had to admit that he was a popular figure with the ladies at social gatherings. He recalled seeing Clarkson surrounded by women on more than one occasion, and now that he thought about it, all those women clamoring for his attention had two things in common-all were married and all were a number of years Clarkson’s senior.
“I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry. We never meant to hurt you.”
“Don’t say ‘we’!” Randall shouted, breaking his promise to himself that he would not lose his composure. “Don’t ever speak of my wife and yourself as a couple!”
“No, sir. I’m sorry, sir.”
“In my own house! In front of my son!”
“Oh, no. Bradley Jr. was staying with your sister.”
Hearing Clarkson speak so glibly about his family caused Randall to grasp the edges of his desk as he fought the urge to attack his young associate.
Clarkson wet his lips and asked in a contrite whisper, “What are you going to do to me?”
“You deserve to be horsewhipped.” He was tempted to say, You deserve to spend the rest of your life with her. The wretched pair of you deserve each other. Instead, he said, “I’m firing you. Wasn’t that clear?”
“Yes.”
“Now, get out.”
Clarkson rose unsteadily.
“Wait.” A troubling new thought occurred to him. “Who else knows about this…this outrage?”
“No one, sir.” Clarkson’s tone turned groveling. “We-I mean, I-have been most discreet. I would never…I’m a gentleman, sir.”
“I don’t think a gentleman would seduce his employer’s wife.”
“No, sir. You’re right. There is no excuse-“
“No, there is no excuse. Now get out.”
Clarkson scurried for the door, but paused with his hand on the brass knob. He turned back, though he could not bring himself to make eye contact with the man he had so grievously wronged. “I cannot leave unless I have some assurance that Mrs. Randall will come to no harm on my account.”
This minute act of chivalry served to further enrage Brad with its implication. Only by forcing himself to imagine those awful newspaper headlines, did he resist the urge to grab the young betrayer’s skinny throat.
“It is none of your business, Clarkson, but I think you know that I am not a violent man.” His voice issued as cold as iron, his words seemed to clank.
“You must not think your wife cruel or wanton, sir. She was just lonely and I was a friend to her. I suppose we simply let our friendship go too far-“
“Get out of my sight!”
Clarkson was gone before the words stopped echoing in the large office. Randall hurried to the door and tersely advised Mrs. Post he was not to be disturbed by anyone, except, of course, the Secretary of the Interior. He then closed the door, turned the key in the lock, and returned to his desk. He watched the rain slap his windows and blur the view. He dropped back down into his chair as though his body weighed a thousand pounds and buried his face in his arms upon his large, cluttered desk.
He had not cried often in his life. He did not like the sensations it produced. Soon he wiped his face with his handkerchief and blew his nose.
He stared at the stack of correspondence that had accumulated during his absence. With little interest, he began to sort it into piles of various importance. He did not bother to read any of it until he came to the letter he had been expecting from the Secretary of the Interior.
The fact that their offices were situated only two floors apart in the same building and yet they felt the need to communicate only by written post spoke loudly to the professional difficulties between them. If their relations grew any more strained, Randall knew he would be looking for employment along with Clarkson.
After reading the contents of Secretary Carl Schurz’s letter, he grew furious, though he had not expected a different reply. Schurz had outlined the reasons for his disagreement with the Honorable Commissioner of Indian Affairs, Mr. Randall, on the subject of the relocation of the Northern Cheyenne tribe.
When the Northern Cheyennes surrendered at Fort Robinson in 1877, they were persuaded to relocate to the Indian Territory and live with their southern brethren. They had reluctantly agreed when promised the right to return to their homelands in the north if the relocation failed. The Secretary did not now feel inclined to acknowledge this promise in light of his insistence that the Bureau stay on budget for the next fiscal year.
The fact that the Cheyennes were starving, were not allowed to leave the reservation to hunt, were not given the promised rations, and were dying from malaria for which no quinine was made available apparently meant nothing to the esteemed Secretary. But, by God, they were on budget.
“Damn him and every bureaucrat in Washington City,” Randall said through gritted teeth as he shoved all his papers off his desk. Nothing in the Bureau had gone well since the convoluted election of ’76. Though he had been one of the few political appointments to survive the shameful scandals of the Grant administration, his future now looked as cloudy as the Washington sky.
He grabbed his file on the Northern Cheyenne situation and marched directly for the Secretary’s office.
“Is Mr. Schurz expecting you, Mr. Randall?” asked the small, mouse-like clerk whose desk sat in the receiving area of the Secretary’s large complex of offices.
“No, he is not.”
“I’m afraid that-”
Randall stormed past the clerk and entered his superior’s office unannounced.
“What’s this?” Schurz looked up from his desk, startled and irritated.
“What gives you the authority to condemn people to death?”
“Sit down, Randall, if you please.”
“I don’t feel like sitting.”
“Should I summon the security guards, sir?” asked the little clerk, peeking in.
“Leave us,” Schurz ordered and, more unflappable than his assistant, sat back in his chair. “I suppose this involves some damned Indian problem.”
“Given that I am the Commissioner of Indian Affairs, I suppose you are right.”
“No need for sarcasm, Randall. What’s the trouble?”
“Precisely why do you seek to undermine my decisions and policies in the matter of the relocation of the Northern Cheyennes-“
Schurz raised a hand to silence him. “I am your superior and I will have the final say in all matters involving this Department.”
“Allow me to read from a letter I received from a Lt. Lawton at Fort Reno,” Randall pressed on. “They-that is, the Northern Cheyennes-are not getting the supplies to prevent starvation. Many of their women and children are sick for want of food. The beef I saw given them was of very poor quality and would not have been considered merchantable for any use. On the subject of medical care, Lawton reports: The post surgeon frequently locks up his office because he has no quinine to administer to the Indians and does not wish them to continue to call upon him-“
Schurz interrupted, “Randall, you know that our appropriations are not sufficient to cover the stipulations of the various treaties-“
“Treaties whose terms we dictated and forced them to accept.”
“For God’s sake, man, lower your voice. Had your Bureau exercised the necessary economies-“
“These people are starving! I cannot manufacture food from stone.”
“Commissioner Randall, your job is to carry out my will. We have not seen eye-to-eye on virtually any policies since I took office. I am struggling to find a reason not to ask for your resignation.” He paused for a brief moment to sigh. “Bradley, sit down.”
Randall grudgingly did so. He studied the small, fifty-year-old man, an emigrant from Germany who had served in the U.S. Senate prior to his appointment. His passion was forestry, one of the many diverse spheres of the Interior Department’s wide purview. That the interests of the many sub-agencies frequently conflicted with the Bureau of Indian Affairs did not make Randall’s job any easier.
“Bradley, I have endeavored to make allowances for your-how shall I describe it?-acts of insubordination in these recent months.” Though Schurz had lived in the United States since his youth, his speech still bore the halting cadence of his native land. “I know that you and your dear wife suffered a lamentable tragedy, but at some point, my patience with you must expire. I would never tolerate such behavior from any of my other department heads. You, however, are the hardest working, most dedicated man on my staff. I would not easily lose you, despite our many differences of opinion.”
Randall shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He did not enjoy references made to his daughter’s death. He could not govern his present emotions well enough to formulate a reply to his superior. He knew well enough that Schurz, for all his immediate praise, did not personally like him owing to an altercation on the secretary’s very first day in office.
When Schurz was appointed to the cabinet by the newly elected President Hayes, he devised a test that all potential men in his employ had to take.
Randall had thought it impossibly demeaning to take a test like some schoolboy to retain his job when his own record of accomplishments as the youngest-ever Superintendent of Indian Affairs, and later Commissioner in the Bureau, should have spoken instead. He unfortunately voiced this opinion in the presence of not only the secretary, but members of the press as well.
The newly-appointed secretary had publicly opined that Randall was afraid to take the test. With gritted teeth, Randall sat for the detested exam and, as though for spite, scored higher than every other appointee by a large margin, forcing Schurz to keep him on his staff to save face.
Schurz pulled off the little pince-nez spectacles that clipped to the bridge of his nose.
“Bradley, you are a very bright young man with an excellent career ahead of you. I hate to see you throw it all away over some misplaced sentimentality for a few Indians. I want you to carefully consider your position here. If you choose to come to this office tomorrow morning with an apology and renewed resolve to carry out the policies of this department, that is to say, my policies, then I will reconsider your future on my staff.”
Randall stood up and for several seconds thought over what had just transpired as the Secretary pretended attention to his paperwork. Without a word, he returned to his own office, moving slowly, as in a dream.
Once safely ensconced, Randall resumed his vigil at his desk with his large chair turned to face the view window. The rain had stopped and the sun had returned; the afternoon air was stifling.
He idly watched the workers who labored to construct a new wing for the office building across the street that housed the Department of Education. The site hummed with activity as the laborers swarmed about, laying brick, carrying hod, over and over in endless repetition. Most were Irish immigrants, potato famine refugees.
How simple their lives must be, he mused. Go to work, do your job-a strenuous job, to be sure, but one without much ponderous thought-then return to your home each night to eat and sleep, perhaps make love to your wife, then rise tomorrow and begin it all again.
And what would he do tomorrow? Apologize…and betray his principles? Or resign?
Mrs. Post tapped on his door and poked her head in. “Mr. Randall? The afternoon mail has arrived. I’ve opened it for you.”
He did not turn to receive her, but continued to gaze out the window, transfixed by the workers building the new wing.
“Mrs. Post, have you ever felt shipwrecked?”
She placed the mail on his desk. “Excuse me?”
“Did you ever feel as though your life were shipwrecked and you were left alone in the ocean, clinging to a piece of wreckage, with no rescue in sight? Just floating out there, no ships on the horizon, no tropical paradise beckoning. The question would arise, How long would you hang on? At what point would you simply let go?”
“Are you feeling all right, Mr. Randall? You’ve looked tired all day.”
When he failed to answer, she quietly withdrew. He thought about the teaching posts he had been offered by several universities after his treatise on the Cheyenne language and culture had been published two years earlier. He wondered where he had filed those letters and began to look for them when he heard a commotion outside his door.
“I need to speak with Captain Randall,” came a man’s voice.
Randall winced at the title “Captain.” He knew that many used it as a sign of respect, but he preferred not to be reminded of his days in the military.
“I’m sorry, sir,” replied the redoubtable Mrs. Post. “He is very busy. Perhaps if you would make an appointment and come back tomorrow.”
Randall smiled at Mrs. Post’s placid ability to handle every situation. A fifty-year-old widow, she had been employed in the Bureau longer than anyone. She had been hired during the War years when the government was forced to hire women to fill the clerical posts vacated by the men who returned to their homes in nearby Virginia to join the ranks of the Confederacy.
“I need to catch a four o’clock train,” said the visitor. “I was so hoping to meet the Captain and speak with him in person.”
“Perhaps one of the Commissioner’s assistants could help you, sir.”
“No, the matter concerns a woman of Captain Randall’s acquaintance of some years ago. When he served on the frontier under General Custer. He is really the only one….”
Randall listened more intently now. He was curious about the man’s reference, though still not anxious to receive him.
“If you could but inform Captain Randall that I come seeking information about a woman named Eden Murdoch, I’m sure that he would make time to see me.”
Eden Murdoch! He had not heard that name spoken in nearly a decade and yet not a day had gone by in all those years that he had not thought of her.
Randall rushed to the door and opened it to see a young Army officer, a major in the infantry by his uniform, standing before Mrs. Post.
“Come in at once, Major.”
 

The Title Story from Gary Ponzo’s Collection, THE VIEW FROM ABOVE is Featured in Today’s FREE KINDLE NATION SHORT

Thousands of Kindle Nation readers have enjoyed Gary Ponzo’s first Nick Bracco novel, A Touch of Deceit, which has previously been excerpted as a Free Kindle Nation Short.  That was followed by A Touch Of Revenge,  reuniting FBI agent Bracco and his “connected” cousin as they go after terrorists.  
  
Today’s 4,000-word Free Kindle Nation Short introduces readers to another side of the gifted storyteller — he is also a consummate craftsman in the short story form.  The View From Above, the title story leading off the book of four short stories, takes you on a Mt. Everest adventure.
All four of the short stories collected in THE VIEW FROM ABOVE have been previously published in magazines and two were nominated for the prestigious Pushcart Prize. Each one has a twist ending in the tradition of an O. Henry story. Some have labeled them similar to a Twilight Zone episode.
Ponzo is fast making a name for himself, as evidenced by this remark from self-publishing Wunderkind bestseller John Locke:
“Gary Ponzo’s thrillers are so powerful, the government should consider using them as a renewable source of energy.”
 
The View From Above 

The View From Above
by Gary Ponzo

  
 
 5.0 out of 5 stars – 2 Reviews
  

Kindle Price: 99 Cents
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excerptA Brand New Free Kindle Nation Short:   

July 1, 2011  


 “The View From Above”   

The title story from Gary Ponzo’s collection
THE VIEW FROM ABOVE
 

by  Gary Ponzo

author of the Nick Bracco thrillers

Copyright © 2011 by Gary Ponzo and reprinted here with his permission.

          

     Each time the tent door unzipped, Stephanie Rogers held her breath.  Each time that it wasn’t her husband crouching through the opening, she blinked back a new set of tears.  There seemed to be no bottom to the well of emotion that surfaced with every worn face that plunged into the tent.
     “Andy’s fine,” Dr. Merton consoled her with his arm around her for warmth as much as comfort.  “He’s the best climber on the mountain, including the guides.”
     Stephanie forced a brave smile.  The conspicuous lack of conversation unnerved her.    Almost all of the twelve climbers huddled in the tent had reached the summit of Mt. Everest and rather than celebrate their accomplishments, they lay prone, sucking on oxygen canisters, or curled up in a ball as they rocked back and forth in their down jackets, sipping hot tea made from melted snow.  No one dared to remove their gloves for fear of seeing the frostbitten fingers they felt throbbing beneath them.  Their excitement subdued, beaten down by the unexpected storm that smacked the side of the mountain with minus eighty-degree punches and hurricane force snowfall that reduced visibility down to ten feet.  No one could summon the energy, nor could they enjoy their feat when there were three members of their expedition still missing.  Including Andy Rogers.
     The powerful gusts of wind terrorized the nylon walls of the tent and prompted several climbers to grab hold of the weakening tent-poles, keeping their backs to the sides of the shelter knowing their lives depended on it.  
     A bundled climber crawled into the tent, squirmed into the middle of the shelter, then collapsed face-down with a thud that shook the ground enough to jostle the tea kettle from its post.
     Stephanie’s heart raced while Dr. Merton and the lead guide rolled the climber over.  They pulled back his hood and pulled up his goggles.  Balls of ice the size of grapes matted his hair and eyebrows.  Dr. Merton felt for a pulse.  The guide placed both of his open hands on each side of the man’s face and yelled, “Dave!  Where’s Andy and Frank?”
     The climber moved his mouth like a baby wanting a bottle.  Dr. Merton stretched open the man’s eyelids and flashed a penlight across his eyes.  “He’s hypoxic.  Get him a canister of oxygen, and see if you can get him to sip some tea.”
     Stephanie brushed ice and snow from the man’s face, then felt his forehead, “He’s frozen to the bone.”  She lifted his head and placed her knee underneath him while the guide tilted a cup of warm tea into his mouth.
     “Drink up, Dave,” lead guide, Todd Trent, instructed while Dr. Merton slid a sleeping bag around his legs.
     Trent moved his eyes across the inside of the shelter and noted the condition of the remainder of his expedition, “Nobody leaves this tent without my permission,” he growled.  His eyes paused when they got to Stephanie, “Understand?”
     She knew what he meant.  No rescue attempt for her husband.  “I won’t let him die out there,” she informed him.
     “Stephanie,” he said, “when I left to search for climbers, I was no more than fifty feet from this tent and was completely lost.  It took me forty minutes and a lot of luck to find my way back.”
     Stephanie listened, undeterred.
     “The Sherpas saw Andy fall from The Hillary Step into a crevasse.  That’s two thousand vertical feet from here.  Unfortunately, there’s not enough oxygen to support a helicopter’s blades.  The only way up is to hike and that’s at least three hours away under ideal conditions.”  Trent seemed to realize his words were falling short of their target.  “I’m sorry, Stephanie, but if Andy is any more than a hundred feet from this very spot, he might as well be on the moon.”
     She understood the words that were coming from his mouth, but failed to register their gravity.  Rational thinking was a scarce commodity at twenty-six thousand feet.  The oxygen-depleted atmosphere at that height could reduce a climber’s brain to that of a six-year-old.  She leaned back against the rippling nylon wall, lost in thought.  She recalled the first time she’d ever seen her husband.  They were at a mutual friend’s wedding on the back lawn of a local resort back in Seattle.  Andy was easy to spot, he wore a brown and white ski sweater with khaki pants; which was exactly one suit and one tie less than every other man was wearing on that occasion. It was refreshingly clear to Stephanie that he kept his own agenda.  He was thin with a narrow jaw and high cheekbones that seemed to pull his mouth up into a perpetual smile.  Miles of running and hiking left his frame tightly wound, however, the thing that most impressed her about him was his blatant shyness.  Unconsciously, she returned his smile and he quickly looked away as if he was caught hiding Playboy Magazines under his mattress.
     She asked a girlfriend who the guy in the sweater was.  Her friend shrugged apathetically, “Oh, that’s Andy Rogers.  He’s some sort of mountain climber or something.  Kind of strange, I think.”
     “Why’s that?” Stephanie asked.
     “Well, do you remember Agnes Murdock from high school?”
     Stephanie nodded, recalling the chubby girl with the plain face.
     “Agnes was the bridesmaid for a good friend of mine who got married about six months ago.  You remember what she looked like back in school?”
     Again Stephanie nodded.
     “Well, she’d put on a tad bit more weight since then and was struggling to find a date to the wedding.  When Andy found out about it, he called her and asked her to go with him.”
     “Really?”
     “Really.  Everyone knew it was a ruse, but you couldn’t tell by the way Andy treated her.  He slow danced with her all night long.  She was beaming like she was just voted the prom queen.  She’s never been the same person ever since that night.  He’s a free spirit, Stephanie.  I’d stay away if I were you.  I mean look at him.  It’s a wedding for crying out loud and he’s wearing a sweater.”
     “Yeah,” Stephanie smiled, “look at him.”
     Her friend’s words proved to be true.  Andy Rogers wasn’t much interested in other people’s personal lives.  What they wore.  Who they slept with.  Later, after five blissful years of marriage, Stephanie came home one night with the juiciest tidbit of gossip she’d ever heard.  Her sixty-year-old married boss was sleeping with his twenty-one-year old secretary.  “Isn’t that outrageous?” she asked him.
     Andy shrugged, pulling on a pair of white socks, about to go on a run. “I guess,” he said with a perfunctory nod.
     Playfully, she threw his running shoes at him, “You’re just no fun to gossip with.”
     “I’m sorry, Steph,” he said.  “Try it again, I promise I’ll act surprised.”
     She told him again with even more zeal than before.  He stood up, smiled and said, “Oh well, sounds like two people in love.  Gotta go.”
     She jumped on him, dragged him to the floor, and they laughed and kissed and laughed some more.  He never did make his run that night.
     Stephanie snapped back from her dream world when she heard Trent unzip the tent door.  He stuck his head out, then pulled it back in like a frightened turtle.  He looked at Stephanie and shook his head with a dour expression. 
     Stephanie grabbed a nearby radio and once again pleaded into the mouthpiece, “Andy, are you out there?”
     Just like the last transmission and all the other transmissions for the past hour and a half, there was no response. 
     “It could be that his batteries have gone dead,” a considerate member of the team suggested.
     Her eyes puffed up and released newfound tears.  Tears from a life she’d lose without him.  Tears from the time she’d spend wondering what their future would have held had she put her foot down and said no.  No, you may not go to the top of the world.  No, you may not realize a dream that you’ve kept hidden from me, because it’s your nature to cage your thoughts and dispense them with the careful attention of a birdfeeder squeezing an eyedropper of medicine into the open beak of a frail and wanting baby bird.  No, you may not comfort and care for me with ceaseless devotion for five short years only to dissolve into the open spaces of the Himalayas. 
     She was about to press down the button to talk into the radio when a familiar voice scratched its way across the air waves, “Steph?”
     “Andy!”
     “I’m here, Sweetie.”
     “Where are you, Andy?” she strained for control.
     “I’m up here.”
      Stephanie laughed nervously, along with some climbers who were now huddled around her.  His presence, even over a walkie-talkie, breathed life into the hurting team.  Trent said, “Ask him what he sees.”
     Stephanie groped the transmitter with trembling fingers, “Andy, what do you see?”
     There was an uncomfortable silence, then finally they heard, “Steph, to be honest, I can’t see a thing.  It’s all white and I . . .well I . . .”
     “What, Andy?  You what?”
     “I can sense a presence.  Steph, I’m sure of it.  I can’t hear anything, I can’t see anything, but . . .well . . .I’m not alone.  I wish I could explain.”
     The guide shook his head discouragingly, “He’s losing it.  He’s delirious.”  He cupped his hands around the radio while it stayed in Stephanie’s hands and leaned down into it, “Andy, hang in there.  I’ll put a team together and get to you as soon as the storm breaks.”
     Dr. Merton shook his head, “He couldn’t possibly survive that long.  Not a chance.  You’d be risking more lives for a futile cause.”  He looked over at Stephanie.  “I’m sorry, Darling, he can’t possibly be helped.  All you can do is hope he can move downhill.”
     There was another long pause which caused Stephanie more concern, “Andy?  Are you there?”
     “I’m here.”
     “Honey, hang on, please.”
     “I don’t think you understand, Steph,” Andy replied.  “I feel I’m being guided somehow.”
     From the far corner of the tent came a small gasp.  A pair of Sherpas, local mountaineers whose villages had been scattered across the landscape of the Himalayan mountain for centuries, were both wide-eyed and mumbling, “Jomagangla, Jomagangla.”
     Stephanie turned and searched Trent’s face for an answer.  He squinted with a discomforting expression.  “There’s an old Tibetan legend that claims somewhere near the summit of Mt. Everest is an Angel who guides climber’s souls through the doorway of Heaven.”
     “Jomagangla,” a Sherpa nodded in agreement.  “The Angel of Mercy.  That is who he senses.  Yes, he follow Jomagangla.  Take leap of faith.  He make it to Heaven.  His soul be safe.”
     Trent waved at the Sherpas with antipathy, “Forget about them, all Sherpas are superstitious.  Andy is simply snow blind.  What he needs is shelter.”
     “Andy,” Stephanie spoke into the radio, “how are your hands and feet?”
     “I’m not sure.”
     “Stay put,” she said.
     “SSStephanie?” Andy slurred.
     “Yes.”
            “No matter what happens, I need you to know something.”
            “What’s that?” she sniffled.
      “I love you with all of my heart.”
     “Don’t you dare give up on me, Andrew Rogers.  It’s not over yet,” she said, firm with fear.
     “Sweetheart?” Andy responded.
     “Yes.”
     “I can hear music.”
     “Music?”
     “Stephanie, is that you I hear coming?”
     “No, Andy.”
     “Are you sure?  I think I hear someone coming.”
     “Jomagangla,” a Sherpa offered.
     Trent grimaced, “We’re losing him.  Keep him talking.”
     “Andy,” she said, “keep moving your limbs.  Keep your blood circulating.”
     “It’s beautiful.”
     “Jomagangla,” the Sherpa repeated.  “Follow the music.  His soul lost.  Must follow music.”
     “Tell him to brace himself,” Trent insisted. 
     “No!” a Sherpa yelled.  “He not on Earth anymore.  His soul is lost.  Follow Jomagangla.”
     “Stephanie,” Andy said, “where are you?  How come I can’t see you?”
     “I’m here, Sweetheart.  I’m on the radio.”
     “What radio?”
     “What’s happening to my husband?” Stephanie asked no one in particular. 
     Dr. Merton rubbed his temples.  Trent looked away, pretending not to hear Andy’s struggle with reality.  One of the Sherpas worked his way over to Stephanie, crouched down in front of her and placed his hand on her shoulder.  “My uncle,” he said, “he great climber.  He make it to summit ten times.  With no oxygen.  One day he get caught in storm.  Worse than this.  He no make it back.  No one can find his body.”
     The Sherpa’s eyes shined while he spoke.  “One night my uncle come to me in my dreams.  He tell me where his body is.  I only fourteen but I tell father where my uncle is.  The next week, he climb mountain and find my uncle’s body, same spot I tell him.”
     Stephanie listened uneasily.
     “My uncle still come in my dreams.  I wake up always with smile.  One night he tell me about Jomagangla.  He tell me if I no make it while on mountain, my soul will stay lost unless I follow the music.  Andy no make it.  His soul lost.  Help him find peace.”
     The radio crackled and a faint voice called out, “Steph?  Is that you playing the music?”
     “No, Andy.  It’s not me.”  She looked over at Dr. Merton.  “What’s happening to him, Doc?”
     Dr. Merton shook his head bleakly, “Could be any number of altitude illnesses.”
     “Andy,” she called.  “Can you hear me?  Andy?”
     A static-filled transmission vibrated from the speaker, “I’m near some sort of ledge.  I can’t see the other side, but I feel I need to jump.  Am I losing it up here or what?”
     Stephanie looked intently into the Sherpa’s eyes.  He nodded his head.  “Yes.  Must take leap of faith.  Save his soul.”
     Trent gritted his teeth, “Don’t you dare tell him to do anything but stay put.  We can still get to him.”
     Andy said, “I think I need to jump now, Steph.”
     Dr. Merton sat quietly by himself.  He could tell by her stare that Stephanie wanted his opinion.  He looked up and shook his head with a blank stare.  “The earliest we could get to him is by morning.  No living thing could survive a night at twenty-eight thousand feet without shelter.”  He pointed to the door, “Especially not this night.”
     “He must jump,” the Sherpa insisted.  “Take leap of faith, yes.”
     “You mean a leap to his death,” the guide said.  “He’s obviously snow blind and delirious.  Tell him to stay put.”
     The tent was filled with climbers arguing the point.  “Tell him to jump,” one said.
     “You’re nuts.  He could be standing on the edge of Lhotse Face.  That two thousand feet straight down.”
     “Put him out of his misery,” one suggested.
     “He should dig a hole and wait out the storm.”    
     “No.  Must jump.  While there’s time.”
     “You’re crazy.”
     “My uncle.  He tell me.  He no lie.”
              Andy’s voice faded with every transmission, “Steph?”
     Stephanie lowered her head, closed her eyes tight, then pulled the radio to her mouth and shouted, “Andy, jump, Darling!  Follow the music.”
     “I’ll come find you, Steph.  I promise.”  Andy’s last words echoed inside of the small nylon tent. 
     The conversations ended abruptly.  The only sound left was the furious flapping of the tent.  Stephanie couldn’t be sure in her oxygen-deprived state, but she thought she saw the Sherpa wink at her.  She looked down at the walkie-talkie as if it were a smoking gun.  “What have I done?” she murmured.
     Dr. Merton rubbed her back while her eyes glazed over with an expression of someone who just let something very fragile slip through her fingers.  She waited in vain to hear Andy’s voice once again. 
     Finally, Trent poked his head outside the tent door and spied a lone headlamp flickering its way down the side of the mountain.  A crowd of climbers stretched their necks to catch a glimpse of the promising sight, allowing a conspicuous path for Stephanie to reach the front of the group.  A low undercurrent of encouragement developed momentum until it reached a crescendo of applause as it became apparent that the climber was taking a somewhat circuitous route to base camp.  Several members of the team stood outside and began banging pots and pans together to steer the climber home.  With only fifty yards to go Stephanie could tell that the climber was wearing a bright red jacket.  Not the color she was hoping for.
     A bearded man with an oxygen mask dangling from his chin lifted one foot at a time and plodded a serpentine path towards the tent.  Trent and another climber hustled out to greet the man.  He collapsed into the guide’s arms and the two of them dragged the man the remainder of the way to the tent.
     As soon as it was known to be Frank Saunders, one of Andy Rogers’ best friends and closest climbing companion, the cheering became subdued out of respect for Stephanie. She stared at Frank as if she didn’t trust her own eyes and any moment he would turn into Andy.  Dr. Merton opened a sleeping bag and created an area for him to lay inside the shelter.  Individually, each member of the team patted Frank on the shoulder or quietly gave a thumbs-up to support his arrival.  Frank dropped down and was instantly handed a cup of tea.  He leaned over and allowed the steam to rise and thaw his arctic face.  He conspicuously repelled Stephanie’s stare.  When his eyes finally made their way to her, he broke down.  With quivering lips he said, “I’m . . .I’m really sorry, Steph.”
     “About what?” she asked innocently.
     “About Andy.”
     “What about Andy?  Were you with him?”
     Frank nodded reluctantly.
     “Where?” Stephanie urged, “When?”
     Silently Frank gathered his thoughts.  “On The Hillary Step.  He fell.  Snapped his neck.  I’m so sorry.  He died before I could even get to him.”  The man sobbed, recalling the uninvited images that swam in his head.  “I sat with him for an hour.  I talked to him about life.  About why we do what we do.  I got sick to my stomach, but before I left I buried him in the snow.  I don’t know why.  I just did.”  Frank looked around at the bemused group listening to him and asked, “Was that wrong?”
     Everyone knew what Frank did was irrational, but of little consequence.  They all mumbled their approval as something they would have done under similar circumstances.
     Stephanie, however, was dripping with denial.  “How long ago did this happen?”
     Frank shrugged, puzzled by the question, “I don’t know, maybe four hours ago.”
     “You must be wrong because I just spoke to Andy on the radio not ten minutes ago,” she said.
     The Sherpa sitting next to her spoke up.  “I try to tell you.  You no speak to Andy.  You speak to his spirit.”
     Trent pointed his finger at the Sherpa, “You keep your beliefs to yourself.  Can’t you see what you’re doing to her?”
     “I’ve heard stranger stories about this mountain,” someone commented.
     “Leave the poor woman alone,” another added.
     Stephanie sat still, confused by the conversations surrounding her.  She held up the radio she used to talk to Andy with and showed it to Frank.  “It was him.  I know his voice.  Maybe you made a mistake.  Maybe you buried someone else by mistake.  Your mind can play games with you up there,” she pleaded.
     Frank nodded softly, still catching his breath.  He reached into the inside pocket of his down jacket and pulled out a small black radio.  He handed it to Stephanie.  On its side was inscribed the name, ‘Andy Rogers.’  “I took it with me when I left him in case my batteries went dead,” he said.  “He couldn’t possibly have contacted you.”
     Stephanie bit her lip, turned to the Sherpa, and dug her head into his shoulder while he comforted her with warm, gentle words.  She wept until her body, drained of all its energy, melted into the Sherpa’s lap.  The Sherpa slid her down onto her sleeping bag and watched while she evaporated into a deep, exhaustive sleep.  He leaned over, brushed her hair back and whispered, “Dream, sweet woman . . . Dream long and smile.”
The End


Free Kindle Nation Shorts — June 9, 2011: An Excerpt from BARBADOS HEAT (A Mick Sever Mystery) by Don Bruns

(Ed. Note: Of all the things I love about my job, nothing surpasses the thrill of discovery. And judging from the popularity of the Free Kindle Nation Shorts program, I’m not alone. So I hope you’ll come along with Sue Grafton and me today, because we have a treat to share with you. –S.W.)

Bestselling mystery novelist Sue Grafton had to read Don Bruns’ book, like it or not.  He’d “purchased” her critique services at  a charity auction.

She liked it well enough to give him 8 harsh pages of criticism.

But his re-write of “Jamaica Blue” earned this from Grafton:  “It’s good. It’s really good.”

Today’s 5,300-word Free Kindle Nation Short kicks off Bruns’ hot suspense novel “Barbados Heat” with the brutal murder of a Congressman who was once a rock ‘n roller like the author,  “a road weary musician who made a living performing with acts like Ricky Nelson, the Platters, Ray Charles and Eric Carmen.”

Click here to enjoy the full excerpt!

 

Barbados Heat

A Mick Sever Mystery
by Don Bruns
4.3 Stars from 6 Reviewers

Just $2.99 on Kindle

Here’s the set-up:

Congressman Robert Shapply is no saint. A former music insider who fleeced his clients for millions, he now leads the crusade against offensive and violent rap lyrics. When he is attacked and murdered in front of his Adams Morgan home , the list of suspects is endless.

But the killer might be closer to home: Police arrest Shapply’s son and charge him with murder.

For music journalist Mick Sever, covering this case is personal. Mick, a former client of the congressman and best friend of the accused killer, knows the case isn’t quite as simple as it appears. He believes his friend’s claims of innocence.

From Washington, D.C. to Sarasota, Florida and Barbados, rock and roll journalist Mick Sever follows the leads, trying to prove the innocence of his former childhood friend. Threatened by unknown assailants and dangers, Mick becomes the hunted as the killer turns the tables in a stunning climax.

Click here to enjoy the full excerpt!

 

 

 

 

 

Free Kindle Nation Shorts – DEEDEE DIVINE’S TOTALLY SKEWED GUIDE TO LIFE by Diana Estill is featured

Humorist Erma Bombeck left some pretty big fuzzy pink slippers to fill, and Diana Estill is stepping right into them.
An award-winning humor author and newspaper humor columnist whose witty words have enlivened The Washington Post, The Miami Herald and Dallas Morning News, Estill’s three books find the laughs in everyday life’s events and aggravations.
Today’s 5,000-word Free Kindle Nation Shorts excerpt shows the root source of her wisecracks:
home sweet infuriating and laugh-out-loud funny home.
Her second book, Driving On The Wrong Side Of The Road, is featured here, but we must warn you:  Another book, Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road, lurks close by to take a good crack at your funny bone.

4.0 Stars from 15 Reviewers
Here’s the set-up:

It’s not always easy to find the fun in life’s frustrations. But as Deedee says, “Family that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Find out why Bubbas builds the best burgers, why men shouldn’t use the B-word (“budget”), and why the term “happy camper” is an oxymoron. Deedee answers these and other socially intriguing questions.

Celia Rivenbark, author of Belle Weather, says Deedee Divine’s Totally Skewed Guide to Life is “delightfully wacky and unexpectedly wise.”

UK Customers:  Click on the title below to download
Bonus Second Feature:
Driving On The Wrong Side Of the Road

“. . . cheery, vibrant, stylish, rich humor. Diana Estill’s writing style left this book critic wanting more where that came from.” —THE INSIDE VIEW(tm), book critic and host Salvador SeBasco

“Personal slices of life served in the spirit of Erma Bombeck . . . nothing short of hilarious.” — ForeWord Clarion Reviews
Here’s the set-up:
Hilarious explanations for “why men grill”, “women want denim”, “your bedmate won’t stop snoring”, and other socially intriguing questions from the award-winning author of Deedee Divine’s Totally Skewed Guide to Life.
“Personal slices of life served in the spirit of Erma Bombeck,” says ForeWord Clarion Reviews.
The tales in Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road will make you want to keep your partner, claim your kin, and hug your dog.
Clean humor suitable for anyone who likes (or needs) to laugh at life’s frustrations.
An Excerpt from
Deedee Divine’s
Totally Skewed
Guide To Life
Copyright © 2011 by Diana Estill and published here with her permission
Wedding Sparkle
One of the many advantages of growing older is that I seldom get invited to weddings. Most of my friends, colleagues, and acquaintances have either already married or abolished the idea as being hopeless, hazardous, or potentially fatal-especially to prospective partners.
Though I’m happily espoused to my own Mr. Right, I shudder at the sight of a wedding invitation the way I would quake over a letter from the IRS. Before I’ve fully opened the embossed envelope, arrhythmia sets in. I can feel my throat constrict to fiber-optic proportions and shoulders rise to meet my earlobes. Within seconds, I’m compelled to prayer: “Dear Lord, I sure hope you’ve guided these two lovers to register at Target.”
Weddings are expensive, not just for the bride’s parents but also for the guests. Being color-coded gala affairs, these events dictate specific attire. This means that, in all likelihood, the attendees will need to spring for new duds and maybe some odd shade of shoes to match. And if participants aren’t quick on the draw when choosing their gifts, they’d better be prepared to spend like their last name is Trump.
By the time I typically make my way to the department stores to examine the wedding registry list, there’s nothing left to buy but 12-piece settings of platinum flatware or Waterford Crystal table lamps. I wish all the presents would get opened at the reception so I could find out exactly who keeps beating me to the tea towels and Tupperware.
Frankly, most weddings are planned backwards, from the rehearsal dinner right down to the reception. Wouldn’t it be nice if the committed couple hosted an appreciation dinner for the folks who raised them, for the people who provided the duo with their earliest examples of what to look for (or avoid) in a romantic union?
I can’t believe more dads don’t protest the idea of paying for their daughters’ nuptials. Don’t these men realize that they’re sending the wrong message to their future sons-in-law? Starting the guy off with a $10,000+ subsidy is just flat encouraging the groom to expect more where that came from.
I have other complaints, too. If you think about it, most of those professional photos could be captured before, rather than after, the service. Forget all that hooey about hiding the bride before the ceremony. Such practices have never been about preventing bad luck. Somebody simply thought that by separating the wedding pair prior to their vows, there’d be greater opportunity for either one to make a last-minute escape.
After the band starts, the first dance is normally reserved for the wedding couple. However, that slow spin ought to be followed by a second one for those who previously clothed, fed, and successfully shuffled the bride and groom from their dole. These folks should proudly occupy the dance floor, salute each other with a collective “high-five,” and then perform a shimmy-shake to James Brown’s “I Feel Good.”
During the betrotheds’ departure well-wishers should skip all that rice-throwing and bubble-blowing. Newlyweds need to be showered with glitter to prolong the sparkle. Soon enough the clock will strike midnight, when fancy gowns and expensive suits turn into ordinary jeans and sweats, party music fades to the cries of needy children, and husbands and wives who once briefly resembled royalty better favor pumpkins.
Deedee’s Rules for Marital Bliss
Getting hitched is actually pretty darn easy. It’s the living together and having to like each other for so long that presents problems. Nevertheless, if you follow these simple rules, you’ll find that keeping the knot tied will be less of a challenge:
Deedee’s Rules for a Successful Marriage
If you and your other half must ride in the same vehicle, consider blindfolding the non-driving partner to reduce conflict. Spouses who bark orders at their motoring mates cause hypertension, accidents, and sudden disappearances.
Agree in advance on important matters such as the division of chores, any financial investment decisions, and time dedicated to televised sports.
Don’t share a joint bank account if you have separate ideas about recordkeeping. For example: Your mate believes every check should be immediately recorded when written, but you think the best way to determine your bank balance is to ask a teller.
Recognize that it is less important who pays the bills than whose salary will be used to make the payments.
Never go to sleep mad; you could wake up homicidal.
Men, please understand that intimacy involves more than asking your partner to scratch your back.
Ladies, realize that guys are not clairvoyant. If you want more touch, you’ll have to explain that you’d like your hubby to provide this after he’s put down the remote.
Give each other at least one compliment each day. My husband likes to tell me, “You spend more money than anyone I know,” and I enjoy pointing out, “You’re the most unobservant man I’ve ever met.”
Accept flatulence as a sign of relationship comfort. No longer concerned with putting on airs, contented spouses are prone to expel some now and again.
Spend equal time visiting with each partner’s family–unless one set of parents is particularly rich and generous, in which case you will want to invite them to accompany you on all your vacations.
Invest in a set of cordless, wireless TV headphones. Love means never having to say, “Will you turn that thing down!” which, by the way, is not a question.
Resist the urge to criticize each others’ habits unless these annoyances are, a.) harmful, b.) illegal, or c.) insane. For instance, if your mate squeezes the last dollop of toothpaste from the tube, it’s no big deal. But if he or she licks the final drop of goo from the cap and then swallows it–the toothpaste, but especially if the cap goes too–it’s time to speak out.
Refrain from using certain phrases that can trigger arguments. To be safe, consider eliminating from your vocabulary the word “savings.”
Respect each others’ privacy in the privy. In other words, don’t solicit a morning “poo” report like you’re checking the day’s weather forecast. And never, ever yell from the bathroom, “Hon, you gotta come see this!”
The mystery of what keeps two people together is sometimes hard to crack. A great deal of trial and error went in to devising these rules, so I figured I needed to pass them along. It’s the least I could do to promote nuptial bliss.
****
September Mourn
Labor Day is a time when many people think of vacations, picnics, parties, and family cookouts. But for me, the holiday evokes visions of matrimony.
My husband and I decided to marry on a significant date, one that might remind us of the type commitment we were making. Having both been previously divorced, we understood that marriage is more than just sharing the same bed, meals, and expenses. It means also divvying up closet space and learning how to considerately use the same toilet. That’s why we got hitched on Labor Day.
In hindsight, this holiday might not have been the best choice for our ceremony.
Metaphorically speaking, it doesn’t bode well that this date falls smack dab in the middle of hurricane season. And there’s something disconcerting about being wed when our state’s game department has just declared open season on the symbol of peace.
However, if we should ever forget our anniversary, it’s reassuring to know we’ll be reminded by the gunfire.
Perhaps a better time for a wedding would have been Halloween. After all, weren’t we both wearing disguises? I thought he was a guy with superb manners and active listening skills. He’d been fooled into thinking I was a gal who’d always remain thin and employed. Talk about being tricked!
But we’ll always have the illusions.
My partner, Jim, and I married inside a home that we’d spent the past 30 days remodeling. I kind of figured it like this. If two people can survive living with Cheech and Chong for contractors, being lost for entire days inside a home improvement store, and groping their way through clouds of Sheetrock dust, then they can likely weather in-laws, parenting, and shared closets.
I hadn’t counted on how important it was that one of us be proficient at mundane chores like sorting and filing. By the time I’d realized what happens when neither spouse is willing to perform unpleasant tasks, it was too late. We had to call in a recovery crew to help us find our tax records. Then we had to send in a search team to locate the recovery crew.
Among other marital surprises, I was shocked by how frequently that nasty “B” word surfaced. Every time my guy was angry he seemed to use it. That offensive noun kept rolling off his tongue. I hated it when he used the term “budget.”
I’d managed to live for 35 years without that financial tool, so I saw little need to develop one now. Budgets only got in the way of my spending habits.
“Did we have that in our budget?” Jim would often ask.
“I don’t know about yours,” I’d reply, “but I just put it in mine.”
Suffice it to say, philosophically, we differed.
Despite the hurdles we’ve encountered, we’ve been together now for nearly two decades, and neither of us has managed to change anything about the other. He’s still averse to closing doors, relinquishing his recliner, and throwing away papers (even junk mail and flyers removed from the front door), and I continue to ignore housework, filing, and bank balances. I guess you could say we’ve compromised by agreeing to remain mutually annoyed.
Maybe we should have been wed on Thanksgiving.
****
Love Means Never Having to Say “Excuse Me”
While traveling on a book tour, Jim and I stopped to eat at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants: El Chaparral in Boerne, Texas. This began what we now simply refer to as “Bean-o-rama.”
I’d forgotten that El Chaparral serves a small bowl of bean soup with each of its meals. Hubby and I had both ordered platters that further included refried black beans. By the time we returned to our hotel room, we were loaded with more than margaritas; we were packing major intestinal power.
As is our normal routine, we each planned to read before falling asleep. Curled up in bed together, Jim cracked open The Secret, a book about the power of positive thinking, while I entertained myself with a new novel. But only a chapter or two into our respective reading materials, our silence was punctuated with the interruption of familiar sounds–namely, flatulence.
Now, these were not the normal rooty-toot-toot kind of slips that occur during a momentary loss of manners. No. More like, full-scale, dirty-bomb, bring-in-the-hazmat-team-type emissions. It was a fart-fest of epic proportion.
Neither of us could seemingly control our gas or the associated laughter. The downside to this was that the more we cackled, the more we were forced to deeply inhale and the less we were able to maintain internal pressures.
After a fit of snorts and howls, Jim put down his metaphysical book and suddenly grew quiet.
“What?” I asked, fearing he’d suffered a stomach rupture.
“I’m practicing,” he said real serious-like.
Probably he meant he was trying to use mind over physics. Maybe he thought he could hold his breath to rid himself of bloat, much the same way you supposedly can cure hiccups.
“Practicing what?” I pressed.
“My affirmations,” he quipped. And then he began chanting, “My farts smell like Glade air freshener. My farts smell like Glade air freshener. My farts smell like …”
“Well, it’s not working,” I snapped. “Not unless Glade makes a scent called ‘Pinto Mist.'”
Now we were howling to the accompaniment of a full symphony of body sounds. If anyone had called room service, the poor delivery person would have likely keeled over before stepping 2 feet inside our doorway.
I looked into my man’s eyes and, holding my nose, said, “You’ve got to be specific when you use thought to materialize what you want.”
“You mean I need to state what scent instead of just saying ‘air freshener’?” he asked. Right then, another foul-smeller cut loose, and he all but burst from his legume-induced hilarity.
“No,” I replied, clutching my sides to keep from exploding. “I just realized that I should have been more careful when I asked to find my soul mate.” I doubled over, now fully in stitches.
“What do you mean by that!”
Between hysterical fits of stop and starts, I managed to finally utter, “This wasn’t what I’d had in mind when I asked for a man who’d take my breath away!”
Right then, we were both done in.
Sometimes romance is just in the air.
****
The Best Way to Clean a Garage
The four most terrifying words in the English language could be, “It’s in the garage.” Every time my spouse says this, I suffer chills, tremors, and potentially dangerous thoughts, such as, “Then neither of us will ever again find it, so I’ll just purchase new lawn furniture.”
Often hubby will look at me and say, “The next warm weekend that we’re free, we need to tackle this garage.” These declarations, though, aren’t as fear-provoking as you might assume-because I know he’ll never follow through on this threat.
My man is no more inclined to clean and organize the garage than I’m prone to rearrange our walk-in-if-you-dare pantry. You see, we share the theory that, when needed, important items will rise to the surface. And for anything that doesn’t, there’s always American Express.
Aside from the obvious risks of financial as well as personal injury, there are drawbacks to being this disorganized. For instance, I have to be careful when opening the automatic garage door. It’s one thing to live this way, yet another to let neighbors witness it.
Generally, I whip inside the garage and, while the vehicle continues edging forward, depress the button to close the metal curtain behind me. This action requires precision timing. If I don’t calculate my entry just right, then the car doesn’t line up like it should. But I’ve yet to run over anything of significant value.
I don’t know how this storage area ever became so out of control. Our three-car garage barely houses one lawn mower.
In one corner we have a 4-foot-by-6-foot stack of bricks that the builders were kind enough to leave behind. I’m guessing they wanted us to have these extra materials in case an entire wall should ever collapse. Frankly, this made me a little skeptical about their building quality. However, I stopped worrying too much about the masonry after I learned that the crew also provided us with four cases of floor tiles and 27 leftover paint cans. For the record, I’d like to state that there’s a fine line between thoughtfulness and laziness.
To these construction remains we’ve added a few offbeat collections of our own: empty computer cartons, three pairs of poison ivy-laced shoes, 14 tackle boxes (and we don’t even fish), tiki torches that someone gave me so he could get them out of his own garage, weed killers that, as far as I know, won’t work from the shelf where they’ve been stored for three summers, a hula hoop, a walking cane, the chainsaw that remains a risk to our health insurance provider, unusual colored rocks obtained from places I can’t remember, and a turkey fryer that’s been fired up only once-thanks to a nasty wind and grease incident.
Adding to this enclosure’s ambiance are the potted plants that I’ve sheltered inside the garage during the winter. Now we have enough spiders residing out there to cast a film sequel to Arachnophobia. The last time I looked, the place had evolved into its own ecosystem.
For many, the problem with confronting a task of this magnitude is that they don’t know where to begin. I, on the other hand, can identify the starting point. What I can’t locate is the required energy.
The first step to cleaning out a garage is to simply pull out everything and set the contents on the driveway. Unfortunately, most communities now prohibit the second step. Therefore, I’m unsure what to suggest because it’s unwise to violate burn bans.
So it looks like my garage may remain untouched for yet another season. But that’s okay. It’s never a good idea to tamper with an ecosystem.
Deedee’s Rules for Picking the Perfect Patio Set
Every spring, I stare at the heap of lawn furniture in my backyard and wish I could make it disappear. I want to ditch the sun-bleached cushions and dirt-encrusted chairs, the cracked table top and mismatched umbrella, and buy a new patio ensemble. And each year, I come to the same conclusion: It doesn’t matter what I purchase because, by next season, it’ll look just like the set I have now.
I bet you have experienced similar frustrations. Here are a few tips to help you in your quest for the perfect outdoor furniture:
1.  You MUST buy your patio set before May to obtain the best selection. After that, the mosquitoes arrive to remind people why it’s hazardous to be outdoors. This, naturally, causes the stores to quit stocking inventory.
2.  When shopping, if a salesperson greets you holding a credit application (and especially if they mention an “EZ payment plan”) then you’ll want to look elsewhere for bargains.
3.  Chair cushions are comfortable not only for humans but also nesting spiders, crumb-seeking ants, and leaf-born mold. Squirrels sometimes tear out and use cushion stuffing to insulate their nests. This proves these critters are intelligent enough to read labels containing words like “water resistant.”
4.  Tables come in two basic forms: the glass-top kind that’s guaranteed to shatter, and the solid or wrought iron type that, if lifted, will give a healthy man a hernia. Pick your poison.
5.  If you don’t buy an umbrella, your guests will end up plugging the hole in the center of your patio table with an empty, upside-down beer bottle.
6.  Unless you enjoy hoisting heavy metal chairs for sport, consider chaise lounges equipped with wheels. This provides the extra advantage of allowing you to use a chair, when needed, as a substitute wheelbarrow.
7.  Invest in vinyl outdoor furniture covers. They won’t keep your chairs clean, but they’ll impress the heck out of your neighbors.
8.  Color is important. White stays the coolest. Brown shows the least dirt. Chartreuse tells everyone that you have no class.
9.  Don’t waste your money on a bistro set. Everyone knows “bistro” is French for “overpriced and undersized.”
10. Wood picnic tables attract wasps, aphids, and guests with small children. Sure, you can save a little money if you buy one. But is it really worth it?
Now, go take a gander at what’s already sitting in your back yard. Looks pretty good, doesn’t it?
****
Feng Shui for Closets
Whenever I’m restless and bored, I perform unnatural acts-like organizing closets. Generally, I get these urges once or twice a decade. A weird compulsion attracts me to the black hole that exists next to my master bathroom. I say “black hole” because entire ensembles have disappeared there. My daughter denies having ever borrowed any of my clothing, so I presume the heavy mass of coats, purses, shoes, and auto parts has simply folded in upon itself like a dense star.
Finally, I broke down and took an inventory of this closet. I discovered three boxes of items lost since 2002, a pair of hiking boots I purchased for a 1999 trip, and a mother-of-the-bride dress from a wedding that was cancelled the same year. All this before I’d made it past the bird clock, still in its original packaging, and an auto steering wheel. It was time to regain control of this space.
A quick study of Feng Shui, the Chinese art of placement, revealed how important it is for doors to swing freely open. Nothing should be stored behind a closet door, according to Feng Shui beliefs. Furthermore, nothing should be placed above the entrance because such practice produces feelings of depression and anxiety. Already I was experiencing those effects from simply looking past the door.
Feng Shui theory holds that closet clutter represents hidden problems impeding our progress in life, work, and relationships. Judging from the looks of my cache, I’ve been hampered by a disregard for time (bird clock), shortage of energy (hiking boots), and lack of a suitable vehicle (steering wheel) to achieve my goals.
I drew a deep breath, closed my eyes, and attempted to summon my chi.
Spaces that are completely full can block the flow of chi (vital energy), according to my Feng Shui guidelines. No wonder I’d been feeling lethargic lately. My walk-in closet had become a fashion freak house. I own more garment sizes than Kirstie Alley.
Avoid holding on to clothes until you’ve lost that 20 pounds, advised another article. What we let go of might benefit those in need, the writer suggested.
Examining my faded Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl shirt from 1996, I wondered who would want it.
The instructions I read stated that if I hadn’t worn an item in the last two years, I’d probably never wear it again. Ha! If I haven’t worn an article of clothing in the last two years, then it has likely been sitting in my laundry pile.
One expert suggested that I “avoid mixing my ‘play’ shirts with ‘dress’ blouses.” But I couldn’t see the point. After I did my wash, the tops would just get rearranged. Before I knew it, my good blouses would go right back to hanging out with some shirt from the wrong side of the rack.
To feel better, I peeked inside my husband’s closet. However, I didn’t walk into it for fear of radiation poisoning. His scuba gear, 14 duffle bags, a Dracula costume, three shoeshine kits, and enough baseball caps to outfit the entire American League threatened to cave in on me. Appropriately, a fire extinguisher leaned against one wall.
“A full bedroom closet can block your ability to attract a new relationship,” my Feng Shui instructions warned.
I shut the door to my man’s private space and smirked. From the looks of it, I had extra marriage insurance. So that’s one closet I won’t be touching.
Taming of the Shoe
Shopping for shoes has long been considered a woman’s favorite pastime-right after hunting for men. In my case, the reason for this is simple. My feet are the only part of my anatomy that remains the same size despite how many French fries I’ve eaten. I can always find footwear that fits.
However, I’ve been careless about my shoe purchases. Not once have I stopped to contemplate what’s in a style name. While my heels are well-suited to my wardrobe, they could be entirely wrong for my personality. And (gasp) what possibly could be worse than unknowingly wearing sandals called “Sweet Thing”?
Men, you too are at risk. Apparently, the tendency to identify footwear by alpha rather than numeric labels has infiltrated every department level. Consequently, women’s, men’s, teens’ and even toddlers’ shoes have been personified. It’s no longer just a loafer you’re looking for. It’s a leathery likeness that’s been cleverly named to match your individual taste.
Scanning recent sales brochures, I found a pair of men’s sneakers titled “Rookie.” Why would anyone want to be thought of as a beginner? Clearly, the better choice would be “Trouper” or maybe “Trammel,” good, solid-sounding monikers.
“Jillian” seems to be a popular type of ladies’ flats. I suppose Jillian is a likeable gal, but I’d have to seriously question the wedge heels whose namesake was “Drama.”
OshKosh makes a version of toddler boys’ sandals called “Gulfwind.” When my sons were young, they wore Buster Brown shoes. I don’t recall the styles, but one should have been named “Breakwind.” Come to think of it, that title might be appropriate for a few men I know, too!
I wanted to find out how shoe style names were determined, me being a professional journalist and all, so I contacted Nine West, a shoe company, to find out. In an e-mail message I asked, “Do you have staff who sit around in a room and stare at a sandal and then unanimously decide that the shoe should be called ‘Jester’ or ‘Daffodil?'”
I followed up my online communication with a voicemail message. Could there be both a 2005 “Odele” and a 2007 “Odele” for mature feet, I wondered. For all I knew, maybe the shoe-naming process was similar to designating hurricanes.
No corporate representatives responded to my inquiries. Probably the marketing folks were too busy trying to decide whether a sneaker had a sensible sole or expressive eyes.
Nevertheless, I decided to read the style names on a few of my husband’s purchases to see what I might learn. In his closet I found a couple of shoeboxes, one of which said “Columbus.” Looks like I’ve got an explorer on my hands, which is fine as long as he doesn’t take his discovery urges too far. The next box read “Chocolat,” which accurately describes his greatest addiction. And the last container was labeled “Air Moto Max,” the suitability of which I believe I’ve already covered (see “Breakwind”).
Apparently, without even knowing it, my guy had purchased shoes that correctly revealed something about his nature.
In my own closet I uncovered a pair of boots named “Necessity” and some sandals called “Bartlett,” which, as everyone knows, is a type of pear. I wouldn’t make it through a winter without those boots, and I’m unquestionably pear-shaped, so either there was some kind of subliminal message at work or the universe has some perfectly weird laws of attraction.
The next carton I pulled from the shelf contained a label that read simply “Ellen.” Does this mean I’ll one day have my own TV show?
.… continued …
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Free Kindle Nation Shorts — May 18, 2011: Think “Strangers on a Train Meets The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” – VIRTUAL STRANGERS

First, there were Per Wahlöö and Maj Sjöwall and the Martin Beck mysteries. Then came Henning Mankell’s Inspector Kurt Wallender, followed of course by Stieg Larsson and his remarkable creation of a latter-day Pippi Longstocking by the name of Lisbeth Salander.

Now, for all of us who have been looking and waiting for the next great page-turner with that uniquely Swedish spin, come Swedish novelists Susanne O’Leary and Ola Zaltin with today’s 8,600-word Free Kindle Nation Shorts excerpt from their novel Virtual Strangers.

With a plot as up-to-date as my daughter’s Facebook chat, a high-tech whodunit set in Paris and London, and a reader-friendly 99-cent price tag to celebrate its inclusion in our Free Kindle Nation Shorts program, we may not be able to keep track of what time zone we’re in.

But that won’t keep us from knowing what time it is. It’s time to start reading!

Virtual Strangers

Virtual Strangers

A Novel

 

by Susanne O’Leary and Ola Zaltin

 

 

 

 

Specially Priced For This Free Kindle Nation Short release!

Just $0.99 on Kindle

 

4.6 Stars from 7 Reviewers

 

 

Click here to begin reading the free excerpt

 

Here’s the set-up:

 

Two complete strangers meet on a train and agree to off their significant others. Sounds familiar? It should be:  it’s Strangers on a Train.

 

60 years later, two strangers meet online. A man and a woman– Seabee and Annika — hook up on a wannabe authors’ site where they flirt, banter and play around with the notion of dispatching their equally impossible partners.

 

It’s all a big literary, inter-textual joke, until the weekend when both their partners actually do die in what seem to be unrelated freak accidents – or are they?

 

Seabee and Annika find out in a hurry that cyberspace makes strange bedfellows.  If it’s not he nor she who did it,  then who has murdered their mates?

 

The two team up to find out who has hijacked their fantasy and turned it into a bloody real-life .

An Interview With Susanne O’Leary

We had a chance for a virtual sitdown with Susanne O’Leary. Here’s her story, and she’s sticking to it.

What was you inspiration for writing this book? And why did you decide to write a detective story?

O’Leary: I’d like to say ‘he made me do it’, meaning my co-writer Ola Zaltin. But that would not be the whole truth. Ola and I met on a writer’s site and played around with the idea of co-writing a novel. I think it was Ola’s idea to go for a detective story, as he has a background in writing screenplays for television, most notably the ‘Wallander’ series. He also had the idea of playing on the ‘Strangers on a Train’ theme and set it in cyberspace to make it more up to date. As we are both writers and had been involved in the ‘fun and games’ on a particular writer’s site, we had plenty of material to work with.

Have you personally been cyber stalked?

O’Leary: Not cyber stalked but like most people who are active on the Internet, I have experienced a certain amount of abuse, been involved in flame wars and been targeted by plenty of cyber trolls. I know how upsetting and scary it can be, which was a great help when writing the more dramatic scenes.

This book, unlike your others, is co-written with Ola Zaltin. For people who have read your other books, will this collaboration seem different?  If so, how?

O’Leary: Ola’s writing is much tougher and edgier than mine, which leans more towards romantic comedy. That said, I think the blend of romance, humor and post-modern realism is very interesting and brings a fresh take to my own writing in particular and detective stories in general. Our novel is unlike any other and we hope that readers will enjoy the new flavours in the crime genre.

Did you write this book simply as entertainment or did you want to address the issue of cyber stalking and teach people how to deal with it?

O’Leary: It was mostly for entertainment but I have heard that some readers were reassured by the fact that this kind of abuse (minus the murders) happens all the time and also that you have to be very careful with personal details when you post and blog on the Internet.

You’ve published books traditionally and as an indie. What do you see as the positives of each, for both authors and readers?

O’Leary: Being traditionally published brings with it a certain prestige. But it can be difficult because you often don’t make much money after the publishers and agent have had their cut. You also lose a certain amount of artistic freedom both for your writing and cover art. As an indie, I am free to make my own decisions and I feel readers have a greater choice of books with indie authors.

What do you hope readers will take away with them after reading the book?

O’Leary: We hope readers will have connected with the two protagonists and want to read more, as we are planning to write a second book and maybe even a third, making it a ‘Virtual’ series.

What about your co-writing experience? What was the best/worst part of it and would you consider co-writing another book?

O’Leary; It wasn’t easy to co-write in the beginning, as we had no idea about what actual technique we should use. There is no template for this. But we soon fell into a method of working together that suited us both. Not that there weren’t a few arguments and tiffs along the way, as we are both rather temperamental.  But in the end, we found a certain amount of harmony. It was a little like learning a complicated dance where both of us tried to lead at the same time to the wrong music. Finally, both the steps and the music clicked and it all started to flow. And yes, we would like to co-write another book and are planning to do so. But personally, I couldn’t imagine co-writing anything with anyone else. I enjoyed the experience very much and I felt that my writing really benefited from working with such a  talented writer. I hope he felt the same about me.

Six More for Kindle by Susanne O’Leary

An Excerpt from

Virtual Strangers

A Novel by Susanne O’Leary and Ola Zaltin

Copyright © 2011 by Susanne O’Leary and Ola Zaltin and published here with their permission

Chapter 1

THE END. I look at the words I have just typed into the computer. They seem to shimmer on the screen with supernatural powers. ‘I did it,’ I say out loud into the empty room, ‘I wrote a novel.’

I can’t believe it. I, Annika Duprey, actually managed to write one hundred thousand words of a story. A good story. A hell of a story, I tell myself. I suddenly want to celebrate, throw a party, drink champagne, open the window and shout over the rooftops of Paris. ‘Whooohooo! I finished my novel,’ I want to scream to the neighbours. ‘What do you think of that, you stuck-up frogs?’ But they wouldn’t care. They’d just shrug and say the Suédoise is being vulgar and loud again. Poor Monsieur Duprey. Not only is he handicapped but he has to put up with that tart of a wife as well. I haven’t actually heard them say it, of course but I can see it in their eyes when I meet them on the stairs or in the lobby.

The intercom on the antique chest of drawers makes a crackling sound. Then his voice: ‘Annika? It’s past seven.’

Oh God, I’m late. Again. I jump up from the chair, push my shirt into the waistband of my skirt, put on my high heels, push my fingers through my wild, curly hair in a futile attempt to make it behave and clatter down the steps from the tower room, through the corridor, past the kitchen and come to a halt by the door that leads to his room. I take a deep breath and open the door, my hands clammy. What kind of mood will he be in tonight?

I enter the room and that familiar feeling of being stuck in a never ending nightmare washes over me. It’s like a ground-hog day, repeating itself over and over again. The room smells of disinfectant and medicines, a hospital smell, which seems to have impregnated the fabrics of this, once so charming, master bedroom

I smile at him, sitting in the Louis XVI chair, his dark brown hair brushed, dressed in shirt, trousers and Gucci loafers, a cashmere cardigan thrown over his shoulders, as if he is about to take an evening stroll in the Luxembourg gardens nearby. But he can’t even stroll down the short corridor to the dining room, where I will shortly be serving him a light meal, a glass of wine and fruit salad. He can only shuffle there slowly with the aid of a walking frame.

‘Hi, sweetheart,’ I say, a bright smile pasted on my face. ‘Sorry I’m late. Work, traffic, you know. The usual.’

Charlie glares at me. ‘You’ve been home for over an hour. I heard you come in.’

‘I had some things to do.’ I busy myself with the evening routine; tidying the room, measuring his medication into a glass of water. My hand shakes as I count it out. It’s for his heart and a few drops too many could be fatal. When I reach ten, I pause. A few more and… But something stops me, what I don’t know. Not love but something else. Fear? Duty?  Or simply; thou shalt not kill

‘Here,’ I say. ‘Your drops. I’m sorry about not coming down straight away but you see…’ I pause. ‘I finished my novel.’

He takes the glass.  ‘So?’ He drinks the liquid too quickly and coughs. ‘Your story,’ he says when his breathing is back to normal. ‘Took you long enough. A damned waste of time. What are you going to do with it?’

‘Well…’ I pause and swallow ‘I’m going to edit it for a bit and then maybe try to get it published.’

He suddenly looks amused. ‘Published?’  He shakes his head and smirks, emitting a kind of giggle.

‘Yes, why not? You never know. I might be the next best-seller. I could make some money. God knows we could do with some.’

He holds out the glass for me to take. ‘I didn’t turn out to be quite the meal ticket you expected, did I, darling?’ His voice is as cold as his eyes, once so warm and full of love, when, what seems like a hundred years ago, he seduced me with his French lover’s ways and suave charm.

‘More like an out of date luncheon voucher,’ I retort, having given up declaring I married him because I was so in love I couldn’t eat or sleep. Which is the truth. Was the truth. Then the accident and the nightmare began…

‘You should put some of your bitching into your writing. Then you’d have a real winner. But I doubt you’d be able to produce anything readable. What abut dinner? You haven’t even started cooking yet.’

‘I have it all ready. I got a take-away from the traiteur. I’m too tired to cook tonight.’

‘Typical,’ he snorts. ‘Too busy wasting time, fiddling with your computer. Writing stories, ha!’ He rises from the chair with the aid of the walking frame, a sneer crinkling his lips.

Why did I bother? I ask myself as we slowly progress to the dining room. Why did I think I could talk to him as if he were my friend? As if he cares about what I’m doing? And why do I keep up this charade where I am the kept woman and he is doing me a favour and my job is just a silly little hobby? My salary pays all the bills and ensures that he can still live here, in this comfortable apartment, looked after by a private nurse during the day and me, his loving wife, at night.

The evening continues like every evening; me serving dinner and us eating in near silence, only broken by Charlie’s mutterings and the odd bad tempered complaint about practically everything. I help him back to his room, undress him and settle him into bed. We say goodnight and I return to my room and my own little bit of a life.

‘Why did you tell him?’ Kate asks during our telephone conversation later that evening. She is the only one of my friends who didn’t turn her back on me when disaster struck. She calls me every night and this has literally saved my life.

I lie back against the pile of cushions on the big bed ‘I don’t know. Stupid of me. But sometimes I forget how much he’s changed.’

‘Changed? He was always a conceited bastard. But his looks and money made up for that, I suppose. And the fab apartment.’

‘Not so fab these days,’ I mutter. ‘With all the stuff we had to put in that would suit an invalid.’

‘Yeah, that kind of took the gloss off it,’ Kate says with a hint of laughter. ‘I don’t blame you for moving into the tower room.’

‘You’re the only who doesn’t.’ The disapproving looks of Charlie’s sister and cousins flash through my mind along with their comments on how I was leaving Charlie ‘all alone’, even though he’s only down the corridor and within easy shouting distance. But I had to do it, make a bolt hole for myself, create my own space, where I can breathe a little and forget, just for a moment, that I’m chained to a mean-spirited invalid who used to be my glamorous husband.

I secretly enjoyed doing up the room, stealing the Aubusson carpet from the dining room, using the best pieces of furniture in the apartment, furnishing the large bed with lovely sheets and a patchwork quilt my mother gave me from her family home in America. Lots of cushions and large pillows complete what is now both my couch and bed; my womb, where I lie, reading, watching television or listening to music. I do my writing on the laptop that sits on the antique desk. Charlie has never seen what I’ve done to this room nor will he, not that he’d be interested.

‘But you were saying you finished the novel.’ Kate’s voice wakes me out of my daydream. ‘That’s amazing. Fantastic. I could never write a novel. Or even a short story.’

‘Well, thanks. But I haven’t a clue what to do with it.’

‘Have it edited and send it out to agents and publishers,’ Kate says,

I put the wineglass on the bedside table. ‘How do I do that? I don’t know any editors.’

‘Why don’t you try one of the websites for authors?’

‘Websites?’ I ask, sounding like an echo.

‘Yes. There are lots of them. Some even offer to review your book and I’ve heard there is one where you can get a critique from an in-house editor at a publishing house. I think Carper&Fluster runs one.’

‘Carper&Fluster? Oh, the publishers,’ I sit up on the bed, suddenly excited. ‘Sounds like a good idea.’.

‘Exactly. And here’s a tip: upload a really sexy picture of yourself to attract attention. You know, where you look blonde and lovely with a bit of an edge. The typical Swedish bombshell. The girl you used to be.’

‘That girl died a long time ago. Oh, I don’t know. I don’t really like going on these websites. I’m not even on Facebook. Seems kind of creepy to me. And why should what I look like have anything to do with my writing?’

I can hear Kate sigh. ‘You have to join the twenty first century sometime, sweetie. The internet is where it’s at these days, whatever you’re involved in. And being attractive is a huge help, believe me. If you want to have a writing career you have to learn how to hustle. Oh, and I remember that site now. It’s called “Authorspot”. Look it up and get hustling, darling.’

‘Hustling,’ I say, feeling a sudden apprehension. ‘Not really my scene.’ But she has started me thinking and when we have said goodbye I switch on my laptop.

‘Authorspot’ I write on the google page and when the link comes up, I click on the website address and – there it is, the site Kate told me about.

AUTHORSPOT, it says in brilliant blue capital letters at the top. And below: We’re much more than a community of book lovers. We’re on a mission to flush out the brightest, freshest new writing talent around. This makes me shiver with excitement. ‘The brightest, freshest talent’, that’s me, isn’t it?

Without further hesitation, I type the title of my book on the ‘register here’ page and upload the first four chapters. Then I put in the rest of the required data. When I come to the space where I’m supposed to write in my name, I hesitate. ‘Annika,’ I say to myself, what an uninteresting name. But, wait, why do I have to use my real name? Why be this dull, sad woman, when I can be whoever I want on the internet? I think for a moment. A name pops into my mind. ‘Anita’, I say to myself, and all the Anitas I have ever known flash through my memory. There was an Anita in my class; sexy, wanton and cheeky, Anita Ekberg, the epitome of the Swedish sex symbol and innumerable other women with the same name who seemed to have that extra oomph in one way or another.

‘Anita’, I write in the space for the user name. ‘Anita Lund’, goes into the space for the author of the novel. I even have a nice photo in my computer. A smiley, happy picture with the sun on my hair and a sparkle in my eyes. It was taken  a few years ago, on an island in the Stockholm archipelago, my childhood summer paradise. One of those special moments, when you forget your sorrows for just an instant, frozen in time.

Then: About me: What will I say? Thirty eight year old woman trapped in an apartment in Paris with a cripple? Writing crap novel to escape the dreariness of her own life? Working as bilingual secretary at the OECD in Paris when not at the beck and call of a bad tempered, mean-spirited man? No love life at all. No sex life, for God’s sake. No LIFE, I want to shout. But wait, I’m not me, I’m Anita, sexy, inviting and fun. What would such a woman do?

I live in Paris, I write. I’m half Swedish-half American. That, at least, is true. I work– I think for a moment –  as PA to a fashion designer. Yes, that’s good. Glamorous and chic. I have just finished the first draft of my début novel, which is in the romantic comedy genre. I’m hoping to interact with fellow writers and hopefully get some feedback on my own writing.

When all the spaces have been filled in, I look at the photo on the page and the name underneath. It isn’t really me but another woman, who I have just named Anita and she smiles at me as if she knows the two of us are embarking on a strange and magic journey.  I shiver suddenly, feeling I’m getting into something new and exciting and maybe even dangerous…

A week later I’m in my room after yet another dreary evening with Charlie, who has been especially nasty, taking out his frustrations on me, leaving me feeling so down I just want to crawl into bed and cry. I switch on my computer to check my e-mail, hoping there might be something from a friend to cheer me up.

One message. Not from a friend but something even more exciting than that; a message from Authorspot! Hello Anita, You’ve received a new comment on your book! To read the message on Authorspot.com, click the link below, or copy and paste it into your browser. A comment? Someone has read my book! I log in and there it is: my very first comment, from someone called Archie.

Hello Anita. I don’t normally read chick-litbut this grabbed my interest, mainly because of your gorgeous picture. Oh, yes! My photo is a winner here. But when I started reading I was immediately drawn in by the story and the characters. It’s a fun read and will be great once you have polished it up a little. I’ve backed it. Hope you like mine, which is a little darker. Cheers, Archie. ‘Backed’ it? What does that mean? I’m vaguely aware of some kind of chart-system and I realise now, that if you get backed, you rise in the charts and the top novels are the ones that get noticed by editors.

He backed me…I feel suddenly hot, as if someone has just looked at me in my underwear. Who is he? I click on his name and get transported to his page. A face smiles at me. Dark hair, brown eyes, sleek, handsome features: Archibald Duckworth. A solicitor in London, who has written a detective story set in Hampshire. And he read and liked my book. This gives me a kind of afterglow, nearly as if I’ve just been told I’m great in bed.

Excited now and wanting more, I click on the word ‘forum’ on the site. I see a list of topics, all related to writing. So many hints and tips right here at the click of a mouse. Third or first person? One of them says. How to create strong characters,says another.  The best covering letter to an agent. Then: Sex, how far do you go? Or: Prologues, for or against.

All these topics, or ‘threads’, as they are called,  grab my interest and I don’t even know where to start. I click on the sex topic. It’s all about writing sex scenes, which holds my attention for a long time. Then I switch to other subjects and I’m soon engrossed in the site and its many participants.

The forum is a hotbed of discussions, opinions, even rows and nastiness. Each post is adorned with the author’s picture, or ‘avatar’. Some avatars are simply faces, some are shots of dogs and cats or birds and flowers or landscapes and even cartoon characters. I prefer the faces and I look at each one, feeling as if I am at a party where I know no one but can pick and choose with whom I want to interact.

I nearly jump as ‘Archie’ pops into the thread about points of view. I look at his handsome face and smile. Hi, I type, thanks for the comment.

Hello my dear, he replies, fancy meeting you again. Nice to know a fellow author.

I greet him back and we switch to discussing the topic. Others join in and I feel I’m being drawn into a very seductive world full of people to talk to, who also want to talk to me.

It’s past midnight but I can’t stop, can’t switch off and go to bed. The discussions and banter become more fun, more flirty. I start my own thread entitled welcome to the chat room and it’s soon buzzing. My computer screen is like a 3-dimensional television and all my new friends smile and talk to me. Especially the men. They seem to believe in my smiley, sexy image, my flirty banter and the (slight) lies I tell them about my life in Paris. And I’m beginning to believe in them myself. Anita is that other me, buried and silenced for too long.

As I sit there, I straighten my back, stick out my chest and pull in my stomach. I feel a flush on my cheeks and a buzz deep in my abdomen. It’s like a drug with no after effects, except a lovely, slow- burning glow. I don’t want it to end, I want more, more and I click on one topic after the other, post comments and replies and sip a little wine while I wait for the answers back.

2 a.m. I begin to feel exhausted and just about to finally log out, when someone suddenly appears that I haven’t seen before. His avatar is a face with a cheeky grin. Sunglasses. Blond hair. Something in his expression connects with a different part of my brain. A strange feeling of dejá vu. Is it the features that make me feel I’m looking at my own kin? The look in those eyes, or the Scandinavian colouring? His name is Seabee (from his initials C.B which he has made into this nickname, it says on his profile) and Sundström , his last name,  leaves me in no doubt about his nationality. His message is in Swedish, the language of my childhood, a language I don’t speak often anymore but it’s so connected with my early years, my family and my heart. Another Swede, a refugee like me, a kindred spirit – a friend?

Chapter 2

Dogs were created by God for the needy.  A dog is blindly loyal, unconditionally loving and basically stupid. All they care about is peeing on their territory if male, getting laid if female and otherwise sleeping, gorging themselves on ecologically sound, super-expensive pellets and running around yapping  like yahoos. Come to think of it, they’re quite human.

A dog loves to be petted and wags its tail at nothing at all and at everything, whilst we homo-sapiens interpret it as loving happiness. Fact: a dog will wag its tail at a decomposing squirrel, before munching it up. (Try not to think about  that when a dog tries to put its tongue in the corner of your mouth). A dog will even love me, Seabee (cutiefied version of CB, my initials)  Sundström, half baked script writer and translator with a chequered past and not much of a future.

Fact: if you leave a dog alone for more than five minutes, the moment you re-enter its existence, it barks, jumps, somersaults and throws its paws in the air with abandon and wags its tail and slobbers like you’ve been away for a year. Their tails go: “You’reokayyou’reokayyou’reokayyou’reokay”.

Fact: a dog, cooped up in an apartment or other such domicile with a dead person, will wait up to a week until it starts to feed upon its former master. A cat in the same situation starts munching away on the second day. True story.

I have three dogs myself. My girlfriend Lies has a cat. That sums up our relationship rather well, I find.

Right now I have three wet nozzles prodding, sniffing and licking me simultaneously. Three dogs wagging their tails, as if they’re trying to whip up wind to breathe life into me. Usually, I find this rather endearing. Life-affirming and whatnot. Those dumb bastards actually liking me, when I myself, do not. But I know the real truth:  I’m the dead squirrel.

Outside the window are pigeons, smog and sunshine, sprinkled with human voices coming up from the street. I thought by this time in my life, I’d be living in L.A. Alone, pampered by an agent, manager, lawyer and an anorexic d-girl. But this, alas, is London. Are there pigeons in L.A? I doubt I’ll ever find out.

Next to the window is the “Saturday Night Rack”, as I like to call it. A metallic rack with all kinds of PVC & leather-naughtiness you could imagine neatly sorted by degrees of perversion and size. Next to me in bed is Lies, my girlfriend. Norwegian by birth, insane of mind, stunning of body. Make up your male mind as to your most wicked fantasy, frown if you’re female and just go from there. After a night on the town, coming back to our place she’ll gladly pull out the Saturday Night Rack and let me chose my fantasy de nuit and then it’s a gravity-defying,whipped-cream-scented-lubricants-alcohol-induced-fest of gymnastics until one of us gives up. Usually me.  There’s only so much a boy can serve up, as it were, and let’s face it; I’m way past boyhood.

The dogs are all over me in bed, paying no heed or attention to Lies at my side, sleeping away in a comatose state of bliss. I struggle out of bed wishing I was a cat person. Any movement, at any time, especially on Sunday mornings of wall-eyed hangovers, (much like this Sunday morning, in fact), elicits an eruption of insane barking, jumping around and the dogs generally making bigger prats of themselves than they already are – leading me on towards their food-bowls as I stumble after them – while yelping for Queen and country.

First of all there’s Paris. A fiercely homosexual Chihuahua (what else) that I picked up on a beach on the Yucatan peninsula and decided to adopt and bring back to London in a mescaline-induced bout of teary-eyed sentimentality. For which act he has rewarded me with absolutely refusing to be house-broken.

Secondly, Spud, a left-over from a previous girlfriend who bailed out without as much as a good-bye note or text message but left the happily salivating Mr. Potato with me. Spud’s  a diminutive Jack Russell (if you can imagine that), who has three titanic bolts in his right hind-leg courtesy of being half-chewed up by two very frisky Rotweilers. Spud will fight any male dog at any time and does,  refusing to acknowledge that he can barely kill a one-legged pigeon.

Then there’s Sick Boy, a black lab; connoisseur and gourmand of filthy dish-rags, socks, turds and rotting offal of any sort, hence his name.

After feeding the four-leggeds, I take stock of my general surroundings. If you look away from the red-wine stains on the walls, the cigarette-stubs crushed into the floor, the half-empty drinks glasses on the tables and the stale dirty air of the place, it’s not half bad. Hell, I’ve got Wegner chairs, Piet Hein lamps, Georg Jensen cutlery and Arne Jacobsen sofas littered with left-overs, beer bottles and empty pizza-cartons. Danish, okay, and I’m Swedish, but let’s face it – it’s just what’s ‘now’.

There are no carpets in my apartment, except one. This is where Paris and Sick Boy regularly do their stuff . And dogs do love a good carpet. However, I’ve beaten them to their game: I monthly toss out the IKEA carpet and get a new one, this way the dogs can pee and vomit on it to their heart’s content.

I can deal with this mess. I can deal with Sick Boy already up-ending his breakfast on the carpet with the name of AGGER (ten  quid). I can deal with the general state of upheaval of my space. What I cannot deal with, this morning, just right now, is the fact that the fridge contains no beers, all the wine-bottles are empty and the Smirnoffs on the kitchen-sink are as dry as an AA-meeting.

My usual morning routine involves black coffee and reading the news and other such pornography online. However, somehow, between drinking an insane amount of alcohol last night and waking up today with a thirst to beat the band, I seem to have developed something akin to the latter stages of Parkinson’s disease.  For short, I need something to steady my hands, and I need it yesterday.

So without further ado, I plop a filter in the coffee-maker, gather up all the half-emptied glasses I  can find and gingerly pour them into the awaiting coffee-pot. Cigarette-stubs, cigar-ends and half-smoked joints get collected in the paper filter, while gin, whisky, beer and white wine runs smoothly through and collect into an unholy alcoholic concoction which is poured into a tall glass.

On the surface it seems, I have it all. Or at least; more than most people. A flat in Holland Street. A blonde high-flying girlfriend who walks my dogs, bends over the way I want, when I want, (and even when I do not want),  who wears the ridiculously short skirts and insanely high heels I like – with a body to match. A career in screenwriting that’s okay (‘moribund’ comes to mind, but I like to think of it as ‘reviving’), three dogs that love their dead squirrel and the owner of a body that hasn’t quite given up on him all together just yet.

Then there is my other love; the novel I have written, or to be precise, I’m in the process of writing. First draft done and the whole shit uploaded on Authorspot, that slush pile in cyberspace Carper&Fluster has created. Well, why not, I thought, might as well get it out there in case anyone sees it. Which has brought me into another world I hadn’t been aware of before; an online forum for writers.

Firing up the old Dell, I sip my Long Island Tea from hell and experience the soothing effect of alcohol course through my body. With this drink, I can begin to think. The taste makes my toes curl, but my fingers unfurl. Can you feel it? I can: I’m beginning to make bad rhymes.

Mozilla Firefox kicks alive and my row of tabs beckon. It reads something like this:  news.bbc.co.uk/svd.se./dn.se/imdb.com/cambridge.dictionary.org/thesaurus.reference.com/wikipedia.com/facebook.com/google.com/youtube.com/ Windows Live Hotmail/  and more porn-sites than you could wave a stick at. Another sip. Another Sunday. Aahh. Not half-bad.

I peruse the tabs left to right. (If you’re wondering what Svd.se & DN.se are, they’re the two biggest morning-papers in Sweden. I get The Independent and the Trib on my doorstep daily, so this is my way of keeping up with what’s going on in the country where I started.)

After checking up on what President Obama and Prime Minister Reinfeldt are up to, what the weather over Stockholm will be like, what “inane”  really means and what synonyms there are for “oaken”, and what new gymnastics Tera Patrick and Sylvia Saint have been up to lately, I head over for the brass-ring; my latest internet fix.

Lies matched me drink for drink last night, and now she bounds out of bed, summons up the dogs and out they go through the door, after I get the perfunctory peck on the cheek. How she does it, is beyond me. I mean: partying so hard, sleeping so deeply and awakening so fresh. Perhaps it’s the nine years in age separating us. Perhaps I’m just not built for this lifestyle I’ve made myself. Perhaps I shouldn’t be asking these questions at this hour on another Sunday morning like so many others.

Another sip of soothing numbness. Seeing clearer, feeling better. For now. Never mind later on. Home alone at last. Funny thing is: I didn’t cover up the triple x -sites when Lies passed thru – she knows me well enough – but I waited with logging onto Authorspot till after she left. Now what does THAT tell us?

I’ll leave that question rhetorical for now, and check out who’s presently on Authorspot.com. Archie Duckworth (please tell me that’s a pseudonym) the crime-writer, is online, as is Alexander Whyte (historical fiction), Mandy Black (erotic/historical – yes, there is evidently such a genre),  Erkki (Finnish Swedish history), and on and on the list goes. My new friends. All of us wannabe authors of published fiction, none of us yet so far progressed. Which is why we have congregated at the Carper&Fluster site of the above mentioned address.

On Authorspot.com, I’m not really looking for Archie, Mandy- or Alexander, Dick and Tom, for that matter, either. I’m scanning the site for any news from Anita. Anita Lund. Why?  ‘Cause she’s sassy, sweet, somewhat sexy (judging from her pic) and Swedish. Just like me. Swedish, that is. And there she is and here we go.

Chapter 3

‘That new medication doesn’t agree with me,’ Charlie announces at dinner a few days later. ‘It says on the leaflet it can cause headaches and stomach pains.’

‘Oh?’ I say, not really listening. Charlie will soon be going to bed and in my mind, I’m already in my room, logged onto Authorspot, and checking to see if anyone has left a comment on my novel.

Is Archie on tonight? I hope so. I love looking at the photo and finding his message to me. Will I hear from that Swede again? Seabee, as he calls himself, being a WWII buff. He explained it in one of the forums the other night. Something to do with naval Construction Battalions being called CB’s and then ‘Sea Bees’, etc. Boys will be boys stuff.

There is something sweet and familiar about Seabee. It’s as if he speaks a language only we understand, even though we always communicate in English. We’re both Swedish and living away from home, both with an underlying longing for meatballs and herring, beer and schnapps, bright summer nights and the sound of seagulls, snow and skiing and hot chocolate in front of the fire, saunas and… I sigh. All the Swedish childhood dreams.

‘Did you hear me?’ Charlie snaps.

‘Um, yes? Of course I did.’

‘You lying bitch,’ Charlie snarls. ‘You weren’t listening, as usual. I said the new medication makes me feel terrible. I need to see the doctor again. Can’t you think of something else but yourself for a change?’

I sit up straighter, righteous indignation burning a hole in my chest. ‘Charlie, I always think of you first, you know that. And we just had the doctor here. His visits cost a fortune. We’re quite broke because you won’t let me take you to the clinic.’

‘I’m not sitting with a lot of sick idiots at the clinic just because you’re too cheap to call the doctor.’ He pushes his plate away. ‘And you can clear this rubbish away, I can’t eat it.’

‘I do my best,’ I mutter. I look at him across the table. There is an expectant glint in his eyes, as if he is waiting for the next part of the game, where I burst into tears. But today, I won’t play. He has lost the ability to get to me. I have a new circle of friends. There’s a sudden spark in my mind as I think of the fun ahead, logging onto the magic site and going through the screen into that ever ongoing, virtual party.

‘I need to talk to you,’ Kate says an hour later on the phone. ‘Is that Okay?’

‘Fine,’ I say, the phone under my chin, my eyes on the screen of my laptop. Archie has just posted a message on my page at Authorspot: Hello gorgeous creature, he writes, are you there today? I am planning a little party thread and thought I’d invite the sweetheart of the site to join us...

‘You sound strange. Charlie boy treating you well?’ Kate’s voice pulls me away from cyberspace while I try to type a reply to Archie.

‘Lovely.’ I’ll be here as usual, I write to Archie. I really enjoyed our conversation last night.

‘Really?’ Kate sounds taken aback. ‘What have you been feeding him? A love potion?’

‘Yes, that’s right…’ I mutter. Me too, I type.

Even the little spat with that idiot Rambo? Archie asks. But of course you managed to put him down nicely.

‘I’m really calling to tell you some bad news,’ Kate says.

‘Mmm.’ I was rather proud of that myself. I aim a little kiss at the screen.

So you should be, Archie says. That little snipe was  incredibly efficient. He disappeared from the site straight away.

Kate says something in a near sob.

I giggle, my eyes still on the screen. Then I realise there’s a silence at the other end of the phone. ‘Really?’ I say, to buy time. What did she just say?

‘Yes, really!’ Kate snaps. ‘And it’s not funny.’

‘Of course it isn’t. I’m so sorry to hear that.’ What? I wonder.  My eyes latch onto the screen again as I notice that Seabee is online. Hej, he says in the Swedish way. How are you tonite babe?

‘So now I’m out there again,’ Kate says.

‘Oh.’ Out where? Has she broken up with that German she was going out with?

‘But he wasn’t really worth much,’ I say, winging it.

‘I’m sorry?’ Kate sounds bewildered.

‘I mean…’ A new face pops into the thread I’m participating in. A Finn. Erkki. Has written a thriller set in the Pacific during WWII. He posts a funny comment and I laugh again. Must look up his book… I’ll go get some wine and settle in for the night. ‘You’ll find someone better,’ I say to Kate.

There is a long silence, during which I write a comment on my laptop.

‘You’re on that site, aren’t you?’ Kate snaps.

‘What?’

‘The writers’ site. Authorspot. I have heard it’s more addictive than heroin. And you are on it right now, chatting with some  imaginary friend.’

‘They are not imaginary. And we’re discussing writing techniques and publishing.’

‘Yeah right. Much more important than me and my job. Which I have just lost, like I told you. I’ll have to go back to Bristol and live with my mother. But what do you care?’

‘Oh, Kate,’ I say, suddenly pulled back into real life. ‘That’s terrible. Of course I care! Are you really leaving Paris?’ I try to pull myself together but I can’t take my eyes off the screen. Seabee has written a little poem:

Anita you are lovely and a little mean

I’m still sober and Daiquiris are green.

Which makes me laugh softly and I hear, as if in the distance, the phone click and Kate is gone. The sound of that click seems oddly final and for a fleeting moment, I want to call her back and try to pull her into my world again. But the screen of my laptop beckons, the different threads on the forum are as enticing as a newly opened box of chocolates and they draw me into that shimmering world full of fun people. I can draw them into my space too, just by creating a thread with a seductive title and they will flock around me and talk sweet nonsense. I hesitate for a moment. What will I say? How will I attract attention? It’s a cold, nasty evening, I hear the rain beating against the windows and a full moon barely peeks through the heavy clouds. But here, in my tower room, it’s warm and cosy. I have put on my flannel pyjamas and settled under the duvet with my laptop on my knees. I wish they were all here in person, all cuddling in with me, drinking cocoa and telling funny stories, like when I was ten and I had a sleepover with my friends. Why not create that kind of world on the screen? Let’s see who’d like to join me…

***

Christ, what a night. Rain in the offing and a full moon making Lies even more mental than usual, on the warpath bitching about everything; from me not shaving or getting a haircut and a proper job, to the dogs misbehaving in unspeakable ways with each other in dark corners. I try some humour, proclaiming that I’m always fixable appearance-wise and the hounds at least won’t produce offspring any time soon, what, with all three being male.  For a reply I get a slammed door and not long after, Lies returns with sushi and water when I asked for pizza and beer. Oh, she knows how to get to me, this one.

Then she told me to clean up the mess in the living room and left to go to some kind of meeting with a client. I thought consultants with their own firms could get their co-workers to do overtime. But being a control-freak, she probably never wants anyone to do stuff on their own. She left in a snot, saying she had to do all the work while I lazed around, didn’t walk the dogs, drank and partied to no end and never showed any results whatsoever as a writer. Not true. I’ve been known to take the dogs down the steps to the pavement and back on numerous occasions. I didn’t have a drink today (until now, after she left) and I just finished that second draft I’ve been working on, right on time. After two years. ‘Howzat, he!?’ I shout, scaring the dogs. But of course, Lies is long gone.

She can do the cleaning when she comes home. I haven’t time to play Mrs. Mop. I have more important things to do than pick up her stuff. OK, so it’s my stuff but I like it the way it is. With that big pay-check from Hollywood, I’ll hire a cleaning-lady. Find a doggie-walker. Buy a big fat car. No, scratch that. Pay off all my debts. And when that first million is spent – then I’ll buy the Bents. It’s gotta come soon, that pay-check. I’ve already planned what champagne I’ll order at the local bar when it does. I picked it out four years ago. It’s coming, that big break, I can feel it. Soon.

I sit in the only comfortable place in the living room; the leather chair from my old flat that Lies always threatens to throw out but I hang onto, saying if it goes, I’ll go. Which I won’t, but she doesn’t know that. I’m not going to give her the satisfaction. Or the chance to sell this flat. Or give up the comfort of her money. I can take the flak and the bitching and the sniping and the slammed doors and the slaps to the face. I can even take the refusal of sex, which is seldom, but happens. Allof which I dull with a constant supply of beer and vodka, with the occasional fistful of benzos. It’s Okay. Moving would be such hard work and I’d never be this comfortable again. It suits me. It suits her. We continue in our own miserable way. Insane physical highs and six-feet under mental lows, and no joke.  Life’s a bitch and then you fall for one.

I click onto the internet and log into Authorspot. It’s like coming home, a virtual home where the first person I look for is… well, OK, Anita. What is she up to tonight?

I  check out the forum board and one thread title immediately catches my attention:

JOIN ME UNDER THE DUVET

(Hello, what’s this?)

Anita: – Hello! As it is SUCH a cold wet evening here in Paris (and I’m sure wherever you are too) I thought I’d pull the couch as near to the fire as I can, make some mulled wine and gingerbread biscuits and pull the duvet up and ask my friends to cuddle up with me.

(An offer I just can’t refuse, innit? With that avatar she has and those words….phwoar, mate. The mixture of me feeling like I’m in a pub filled with horny lads and wanting to take the bird home – if not for real, then virtually, as it were – coupled with the fact that here on Authorspot the competing is verbal and not muscular, makes my  gin&tonic-ed mind anticipate the coming rumble all the more.)

Archie: – Hello lovely, what an excellent idea. I do feel very cold here in my old country pile. I need someone to warm my feet and my heart…

(AAARCHIE. Aaaargh. Of COURSE he’s already on the thread, suave, snooty snob of a so-called gentleman. I know what’s on HIS mind…uses a profile pic that’s an old Cary Grant photo – says it all, if you ask me.)

Anita:  –Archie, you’re so welcome. I’m wearing my pink flannel pyjamas and bunny slippers (but some nice lingerie underneath of course).

(And why’s SHE so bloody welcoming? Is he young, Swedish and virile? I think not.)

Erkki:  –Woweeee, finally a thread that suits a Scandinavian. How about some Koskenkorva to warm us up?

(Now here’s my man Erkks: Scandinavian to the hilt and not about to take any toff’s cricket.)

Archie: – If you mean that Finnish rubbish they say  tastes like old socks, I’m afraid you’re on your own, old boy.

(Ah, yes, and here we go again. I’m going to relish this, I can feel my bile rising and smile widening as I read on.)

Erkki:  – So you haven’t tried Koskenkorva yet? Some liken it to a swift hit on the side of the head with a 2 by 4, if consumed in copious amounts. The taste? Who cares, only for real men anyway: grows hair on your chest.

(Scratch one up for the scandies!)

Rambo: – So here’s where the sad-caseScandinavians hang out. That crap of a novel is a pathetic piece of shit, Erkki, just so you know. WTF do you know about WWII anyway, or anything to do with the military? Why don’t you stick to the Moomin trolls and leave good writing to us Brits?
(That bloody creep is here again. Always trying to stir up trouble just for kicks
.Time to hit the keyboard and come to the rescue of my man Erkki. Let’s see, what was that t-shirt I’ve seen around town lately…something with the Nokia-typeface and a play on their slogan…ah yes: )

Seabee: – “VODKA – Connecting people”

Anita: – Hi Seabee. I was wondering if you’d be around

Seabee –Room for ten more cold toes under the duvet? I promise I’m not wearing bunny slippers…lingerie…or anything else, for that matter 🙂

Archie: –No sleaze. We’re all gentlemen, aren’t we?

Erkki: –I’m not.

Seabee: –Me neither, pass the voddy, Errks:)

Rambo: – Fuck off, shithead.In fact why don’t you all fuck off and leave this site to real writers?

Seabee: – Talking about the military, “Rambo” – what’s YOUR background? You seem to talk about being a soldier all the time. You might not know that in Scandinavia we have compulsory military-service. I served 18 months with an elite military regiment far above the polar-circle. Errks did the same in Finland. How about you Rambo?

Rambo: – Pathetic wankers. And that tart is a raddled old bitch anyway.

Seabee: –I take it your resentment springs from an image copied from the SAS homepage and your own, very small, equipment?

Rambo :- I know you, Seabee, I know where you live. I might pay you a little visit one of these days… And Madam Anita, don’t think you’re safe, sitting there in your apartment in Paris…

(This is just drunken bullshit, surely? This guy creeps me out a meter a minute.)

Erkki: -Anita, don’t mind him, we’re here to protect you, aren’t we, Seabee?

Archie: – Damn right, my darling.

(“My”? “Darling”? JESUS. )

Seabee:  Rambo: try again – try harder.

Erkki: –WeScandinavians know a thing or two about both fighting and sex.

Anita: – Butit’s not as if we invented it, you know.

Seabee: -Whaddya mean? If you and I didn’t invent sex, Anita baby, who did? Go check Wikipedia under the heading: ‘Anita and Seabee invent sex.’ (Suck on THAT grenade, Archie.)

Archie: – Let’s keep it clean, old chap. Ladies, present, you know.

(Alright, “old chap” – gloves are off: nobody “old chaps” me).

Seabee: –Don’t worry. Anita and I know dirty sex. Excuse us for not sharing. More sex, please, we’re Swedish!

Erkki: – A friend of mine has a very nice business card. It states ‘Erection Supervisor’ as his profession.

Anita: – LOL. I’m sure he has a very edifyingjob… But seriously, I find it very annoying  that people think Swedish women are easy. Seabee, you are only allowed on my lovely thread if you behave.  (Uh-oh. Better dial it down, don’t want to diss the dear miss Anita).

Seabee:- point taken ma’m. My hands are on top of the duvet from now on.

Anita: – As long as there’s no funny business.

Archie: That’s right. Only I am allowed to fondle the lovely Anita

(There he goes again. I can’t believe this.)

Anita: – Yes, darling you are. But only in the right places. I know that, unlike some people, you’re a gentleman, so I feel perfectly safe with you.

(Bloody right I’m not a ‘gentleman’ and I’ll bloody well prove it.)

Seabee: – Can’t help a stiffy coming on here under the duvet. Just wanted to share with you all. Erkki doesn’t need telling though…he can feel it in the small of his back – sorry ’bout that mate.