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Bestselling cozy mystery COLD MOON DEAD by J. M. Griffin is featured in today’s free excerpt

Amazon top seller in both
Mystery & Women Sleuths
and 4.7 stars out of 44 reviews!

Author J. M. Griffin calls her Vinnie Esposito series “mysteries that tickle your funny bone” — and readers  just can’t seem to get enough…

Once again, Vinnie finds herself in the middle of murder, mayhem and miscellaneous misadventures — not to mention her hunky boyfriend and sexy tenant.

Don’t miss Cold Moon Dead
while it’s just 99 cents!

4.7 stars – 44 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

Telling Vinnie Esposito to stay out of trouble is like telling a wolf not to howl at the moon.

But you can’t blame Vinnie this time. She’s just trying to be a Good Samaritan. How is Vinnie supposed to know that the little old lady, stranded at the side of the road, is a carjacker? And when Vinnie helps her artist friend paint a mural in a big, fancy mansion—how is she supposed to know that the owner is the biggest, most notorious, mobster in the state? And she can’t help it when she finds a dead body at the art show.

And next thing you know her parents are fighting; and her boyfriend, hunky State Trooper Marcus Richmond, is mad at her; and her sexy, upstairs tenant, FBI agent Aaron Grant, is up to something.

And Vinnie has to make everything right. But before she does that, it’s going to get even more wrong.

5-star praise for Cold Moon Dead:

Always enjoy a J.M. Griffin book
“… A couple of words into the book and you are right there into the thick of things along with Vinny and her cast of colorfullcharacters. Thoroughly enjoyed this light-hearted tale of misadventures.”

Hooked on Lavinia!
“…the story really sucked me…And then there are Marcus and Aaron — the perfect blend of sexual energy but written so beautifully that fits with the cozy mystery genre….”

an excerpt from

Cold Moon Dead

by J. M. Griffin

Chapter 1

The old woman leaned against the trunk of the dented rattletrap car. It had stopped dead, halfway into the low speed lane of the highway. Draping one bony hand across her forehead, she shook her head back and forth in despair—at least, it looked like despair.

I swerved to miss the car and swung my own vehicle into the breakdown lane, shoved the shift lever into reverse, and backed toward the woman. My heart pounded from the near accident, but the old girl was in need. Perhaps I could help. After all, it was winter and the wan countenance of the sun offered little respite from the cold wind.

Drawing up beside the beastly wreck, I shifted into park, dialed the local police station on my cell phone, and reported the accident. My Altima idled as I strode toward the run-down jalopy whose driver had also seen better days. I stuffed my cell phone and my hands into the pockets of my wool jacket.

The old woman glanced around before she hobbled forward. A worn, ragged coat hung on her frail shoulders while her heavy boots flopped about on feet that shuffled a bit. Thin wisps of gray hair tossed about frantically in the wind. Her bony, claw-like hands clutched a filthy crocheted handbag that resembled a shopping bag. A grimace covered the prune-wrinkled face as the woman drew closer.

Mean eyes glared, and though I hadn’t caused her breakdown, I braced myself for a lecture on my poor driving skills. It wouldn’t be the first time I had received one of those.

“You dang near kilt me, young woman,” she said with a near snarl.

“I wasn’t expecting a car to be in the lane when I crested the hill,” I answered defensively. “I-I’m sorry if I frightened you.”

“It ain’t my fault the danged thing broke down, ya know.” She scratched her head with dirty fingernails. I stepped back in case there was a chance lice might jump from her to me. “The least ya can do for an old woman is to give her a ride, eh?” She stared at my car, then gave me the once over.

I caught the malevolent glitter in her eyes for just a second before she glanced away. Taken aback, I nodded and agreed to give her a ride. Disney’s Snow White, the old witch, and the poisoned apple popped into my head. While it was only for a split second, the image left me on edge. It took a mental head slap to force my mind back to the present situation.

Filled with trepidation, I asked, “Where were you going?”

“Just to Olneyville. Do you know where that is?

I nodded.

She continued. “You can drop me near the triangle. What’s yer name, missy?” she asked as she clopped toward the passenger side of my Altima.

“Lavinia Esposito, but my friends call me Vinnie,” I mumbled, wondering if the car would need fumigating after she got out. I hustled along, clicking the door lock open using the electronic key fob.

Within seconds, we were headed toward an area of Providence that had once been a hub of activity. Now it was simply rundown and filled with shady characters. Abandoned stores were boarded up, nightclubs stayed open until the early morning hours creating havoc, and tenement houses stood shabby and forlorn. This was the neighborhood of hookers, drug dealers, drunks, and punks. Even the cops disliked being dispatched to calls in this area.

Nestled into the seat, the old woman rubbed her hands, red with cold, together. The oversized handbag rested on her lap. She started to rummage through it. With a deft motion and a sound of satisfaction, the hag pulled out a snub-nosed .38 Special, Smith & Wesson. The gun was pointed at me. My stomach dropped to my feet as my heart jumped into my mouth. Christ!

“Just get off the road, Lavinie.”

“It’s Lavinia,” I murmured. I glanced at her, and tried to stay calm. “This isn’t necessary. I will have your car towed. I-I didn’t mean to nearly h-hit you, honest,” I stammered while my sweaty hands gripped the steering wheel.

“Don’t be stupid. Just do what I say and you’ll be fine.” The small, yet deadly handgun waggled. Her bony finger rested on the trigger. I couldn’t tell if the safety catch was on or not.

Dry-mouthed and scared witless, I steered the car off the main drag into a low-life neighborhood. In a split second I wondered whether I was worse off with this nightmare of a woman than on these mean streets. Either way, my situation sucked. If I didn’t do as she said, she might shoot me. If I did what she said, I might get mugged. Rather than be shot, since I have a serious aversion to blood, I figured I had a better chance on foot in daylight, even in a neighborhood such as this. With my height just short of the six-foot mark, and the ability to handle myself in a life-threatening situation, I figured I could manage this.

The car slid to a halt at the curb and the old harridan motioned for me to get out, with an order to stand in the center of the street. I grabbed my Louis Vuitton handbag but filthy, gnarled fingers whipped it from my grasp.

“You won’t need this, but I will, Lavinie.” She cackled, stepped from the car, and came around to slide into the driver’s seat as I got out, holding the gun on me all the while. She seemed adept at this holdup stuff, leaving me to wonder how many times she’d done it before.

I glanced around the windswept street in case anyone saw her and the gun. I was certain nobody would call the cops. They would close their drapes instead. This was a neighborhood where people refrained from involvement in things that didn’t concern them. Stepping back, I watched my car slide away and screech around the corner out of sight.

I reached into my pocket for my cell phone. When I dialed the Providence Police Department and relayed my story, the dispatcher asked if I was injured. I said only my pride had suffered from the incident. A snicker crossed the line. She said she would put the call out. I asked if she would dispatch Officer Banger, since I knew this was Freedom’s patrol district and that she was on duty. Dispatch said she’d relay the request.

I figured I was in for some ribbing over the robbery. Since I teach criminal justice, date a Rhode Island State Trooper, and have an undercover FBI agent as a tenant, the ribbing was certain. There might be some concern for my welfare mixed in for good measure, though. So not all was lost.

Freedom Banger was a tough cop, but never stupid. She would always recommend stepping away from a gun. This thought offered me some comfort while I awaited her arrival. As a Providence cop who’d been on the force for nearly eighteen years, Freedom had a quirky personality. She saw humor in things most people didn’t and was always suspicious of everyone and everything. If Freedom liked you, and thought you needed a hand, she would move heaven and earth to help you. On the flip side, it was just plain stupid to get on her last nerve.

Impatient, I paced the sidewalk, anxious to leave the area. A smart-looking black BMW rounded the corner and slowed to a stop next to me. Dark tinted windows made it impossible to see inside. With my luck, it was the old broad and she had robbed someone else, then come back to shoot me for kicks.

Mid-step, I paused on the sidewalk and stared at the car. The window slid down—smooth and silent. A black dude, with an earring the size of the Hope Diamond suspended from his earlobe, stared back from behind an expensive pair of sunglasses. His hair was cropped with a Z-cut to the scalp on one side, above his ear. A backward baseball cap tilted haphazardly atop his head. He grinned at me. I noticed his front teeth had a gap and were rimmed with gold. Now that’s attractive, I thought with disgust.

“Yo sistah, wha’s up?” he drawled, like the homey he was. A homey with a car, a very nice car. I didn’t have a car.

“Nothing’s up,” I answered with a quick glance around. Where was Freedom, and what was taking her so damned long?

“You are one fine bitch. Wanna take a ride and join me for a little action?” He gave me a lewd smile, lifted the sunglasses off his face and wiggled his eyebrows at me.

“Do I look like some hoochie momma to you?” I asked with a hand on my hip, my temper flaring.

“Well, who the hell else would be walkin’ these cold, mean streets at this time of day in those fine clothes?”

“Move along. I’m not interested in doing anything with you.”

“You sure?” He grinned. “I know how to satisfy a woman such as yoself.”

“I said, ‘I’m not interested.’” I actually yelled it, rather than said it.

I took a step toward the car and had just raised my high-heeled, booted foot to kick the door when the car raced away. My temper was out of control, and so was I. A hand waved to me out of the car window and the homey flipped me off. Could my day get any better?

Within minutes, I heard the siren and watched Freedom’s cruiser slide to a halt at the curb. Her grin held a smart-ass curve to it. It was then I realized I would never live this event down. I cringed at the thought. The story would make the rounds of the police department and beyond. I would have to listen to snide remarks from cops and students alike, until the next time anyway.

That’s what happens when you’re in a job like mine. I teach Criminal Justice at a local university, to cops, or Five-Os, as they’re called. They mix it up with my other students that tend to be law students and security personnel. In the process I witness a lot of human interaction that borders on the ridiculous. The security people take an immense amount of insults from the cops. They are called names like Flashlight Cops, Two-Point-Fives, or Wannabes. I know, it’s not fair. I often feel like I’m in a room full of kindergarten kids—ones with deadly weapons and gigantic egos. One thing is for sure though, my life is never, ever mundane and this morning’s events proved that to be true.

“What the hell happened, Vin?” Freedom snickered as she got out of the car. “Are you all right?”

I glared down at her for a moment. I tower over Free who stands around five-foot-five. Her rich brown hair was tied back at the nape of her neck, and she held herself in a tough guy stance, hands resting on the fully loaded sixty-pound police utility belt slung around her waist. A grin hovered around the corners of her mouth as her brown eyes twinkled.

“Some old broad had broken down in the low speed lane of the highway. I stopped to help and gave her a lift. The bitch pulled a .38 out of her bag, offered to shoot me, and stole my freakin’ car.” My hands clenched and I paced back and forth as I ranted. “If that wasn’t bad enough, she stole the freakin’ Louis Vuitton handbag that I just got.” I left out the homey pickup attempt. I had enough to live down, thank you.

Freedom burst into laughter, patted me on the back in a reassuring manner, and motioned for me to get in the car. She climbed into the driver’s seat, mumbling into the radio attached to her shoulder. We swung through empty streets onto the highway. I directed her to the place where the woman’s car had been, but it was gone. I glanced around, dialed the cops to ask if the car had been towed, and was told it hadn’t been.

“You were set up by an old broad,” Free said, overcome by laughter.

“Very funny, Free. Very funny.”

Cops have an odd sense of humor. I didn’t find anything remotely funny in the situation at hand. However, it had happened to me, and that made the issue up front and personal.

Free cast a sideways glance at me and said, “I’ll take you to the district station and make a report. You know the drill, right?”

“Yeah, I know the drill.” I stamped my foot on the floor and swore some more.

“Think of it this way, Vin . . . you’re still alive, right?” Her serious brown eyes turned on me.

With a grudging nod, I stared out the window as we drove through dreary winter neighborhoods.

The hole-in-the-wall district police station was set up for community policing. The cops kept the doors locked for fear of being shot, and didn’t answer when someone came to make a complaint—so much for community policing. The police chief figured if community stations were located within each of the nine districts of the city, it would promote feelings of goodwill between the officers and neighborhood residents. I smiled at the thought, though many residents might consider community policing another safety factor.

We entered the freshly painted concrete-block building. One wall held a mural of a police car. The department logo was painted on the front of the counter. I peered at the artist’s signature and realized my buddy, Lanky Larry, had done the work.

Round as a soup bowl and bald as a melon, Lanky Larry was gay, short in stature, big of heart, and sweet natured. He painted murals, and faux-finished walls and furniture in the homes of the elite in Rhode Island. He was also a good friend who had given me a hand on more than one occasion.

“You know this guy—the artist?” Free asked with a glance at me over her shoulder. Beckoning with a crook of her finger, she had me follow her through the room and down a corridor. The next small room held two computers, a fax machine, and a printer.

“Yeah, he’s a friend of mine . . . an awesome artist,” I answered with a grin.

“He slapped that mural on the wall like it was nothing. It blew me away,” she said, leaning back in the chair, away from the desk that held a computer. “I can’t even draw stick people.”

With a smile, I took the seat opposite her in the only other chair in the room that was the size of a closet. My gaze wandered the walls while we waited for the computer program to upload the report page. Gang insignia posters covered one wall. Photos of scumbags sent to federal prisons across the country covered another. I glanced at the map of the district and wondered what all the numbers meant, but didn’t ask.

Freedom asked questions. I gave her answers to the best of my recollection. I hadn’t paid a whole lot of attention to the old lady’s wreck of a car, but her appearance was emblazoned in my memory. We hadn’t gotten far when the radio attached to Free’s shoulder started to crackle. She was told to report to some incident or other.

In a flash she was out of the chair. I was instructed to wait until she got back. Where the hell was I supposed to go with no car anyway? Free flung the front door key at me, along with some cash, and said I should get coffee from the bakery across the street. I nodded. I followed her as she hurried out the door and watched her jump in her cruiser. With siren blaring and lights flashing, Freedom headed toward the scene at warp speed.

Chapter 2

Crossing the street, I sauntered into Sugar Cookies Bakery. The aroma of cinnamon and chocolate teased my nostrils. I stepped up to the counter and ordered a regular coffee. While the young girl poured the brew into a paper cup, I considered the glass cases filled with confections. Too many choices, so I settled for a sprinkle-covered donut. After paying—thank you, Freedom—I left the shop and headed back to the community police station. Sinking my teeth into the soft, sweet, yeasty goodness, I sighed. I earned that donut after what I’d been through.

I decided to wait at the empty front desk instead of the little cubby-hole in back where I was before. I discovered that the tall swivel chair behind the counter was fairly comfortable, even with its wrought iron back. Though my legs are long, my feet still dangled. I sipped the coffee, nibbled the donut, and savored every morsel while I leaned back in an effort to relax in the peace and quiet. The cops only used the station for bathroom breaks, to eat lunch, or write reports. Otherwise they patrolled the streets.

Time crawled while I waited for Freedom’s return. I could do nothing but wait, so I settled in and finished my snack. The day hadn’t started out so well, but I was feeling better.

A firecracker-like noise caught my attention. I slid off the seat and strode to the glass-paned door. Two ceiling-to-floor windows faced the street alongside the door and offered a clear view of a two-block area. A dark sedan sped past. I peered at the license plate and memorized the number.

A rugged, mid-height, gray-haired man, dressed in a worsted-wool sport coat, staggered backward and then turned toward the building. He saw me watching and then he stumbled inside the station when I opened the door. Blood trickled past the edge of the jacket cuff and down his hand toward his fingertips. I felt the donut in my stomach flip flop a couple times, as though it were alive. Pale, flaccid, sweaty skin covered his face. I helped him to the stool behind the counter. Heavy breaths puffed from his mouth as his chest heaved. I wondered if the old guy would drop dead right there, in front of me.

I raced into the bathroom and unrolled a long sheet of paper towels. I bunched them in my fist, returned to the old guy, and stuffed them into his free hand. By then he had removed his jacket to check out the injury. A small hole had ripped his white shirt open at the shoulder. Blood saturated the material.

Choking, I flew into the bathroom again.

The scrumptious donut made an ugly return, splattering across the floor before I could reach the toilet. Bent in half, I retched a couple of times and then straightened up to wash my face, rinse my mouth, and blow my nose. Disgust roiled through me as I glanced at the floor. I cleaned the mess, gagging the whole time, and then returned to assist the man out front.

Blood-soaked paper towels filled the wastebasket under the counter and the old man barked an order for more. I returned to the bathroom and brought the whole roll of towels back. The victim had a better handle on the situation than I did. I watched in squeamish awe as he dabbed up the blood and applied pressure with a wad of towels.

“You a cop?” He ground out the words.

“N-no,” I stammered, and swept my hair back from my face and off my shoulders. The hair flinging was a telltale nervous habit of mine, well known among my friends.

“You look familiar,” he said. “Do I know you?”

“I don’t think we’ve met,” I murmured, anxious to keep from throwing up again.

“What’s ya name?” he rumbled in a voice filled with pain.

“Esposito,” I said, wringing my hands. “Lavinia Esposito.”

“You from Cranston?” He huffed the question out on a strained sigh.

“Uh, yeah . . . originally.”

“I knew a woman who looked just like you. She had the same name.” He flexed the fingers of his hand while he spoke. “Your old man owned a pizza joint?”

“Um, yes, he did.”

“Gino Esposito, right?”

“Uh huh,” I said, keeping my eyes averted from the bloody sleeve and wads of paper towels soaked with blood.

“Call my doctor, kid. He’ll come’n get me.”

“Don’t you think we should wait for the cops?” I asked, hoping he’d go along with my suggestion.

“Nah, they’re a bunch of dopes. They’ll ask a string of questions I won’t answer. Just call this number, and ask for Louie-the-Lug.” He recited a number that I dialed on my cell phone.

A high-pitched, nasal voice answered on the first ring. I asked for Louie-the-Lug before handing the phone to the injured man. I tried hard not to listen—well, maybe not that hard.

“Come here’n get me,” the man ordered. “Get here fast. I have a slug in my shoulder and it’s friggin’ killin’ me.” He gave instructions to our location and flipped the phone closed before he handed it back to me.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Never mind that. You just forget you ever met me, right?” He turned a stern, dark-eyed glare on me. “Not a word to the cops and get rid of this basket of bloody towels, got it?”

“Okay, fine,” I said, lifting my hands in a stop motion.

Shortly, a car pulled to the curb—a small black Datsun, new and shiny. A pudgy man with three hairs combed sideways over his bald dome got out. He rolled around the side of the car and entered the station.

“I won’t forget your kindness, Lavinia,” the man said. He stumbled out the door and into the Datsun, assisted by the man I could only assume was Louie-the-Lug.

Muddle-minded, I watched the car scoot from the curb and take a right at the traffic light on the corner. Once he was gone, I used a plastic bag from under the counter to scoop up the stained bag from the basket. I gagged and my stomach rolled as I tied it all in a neat bundle and hustled outside to throw it in the community trash bin at the side of the building. Replacing the old bag with a new one, I went into the bathroom to scrub my hands, even though they weren’t dirty.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. For a minute, I was undecided on what course of action to take. It wasn’t smart to fail to report a shooting, let alone assist someone with a gunshot wound. As an instructor of law and order, I was well aware of the implications and possible consequences. The paper towels crumpled in my dried hands. Leaning against the wall, I ran a hand across my forehead and breathed out a deep sigh.

In a flash, my day had gone from bad to horrid. I needed to talk to my father before making any plans. This man might know my dad, and it seemed prudent to find out whatever I could to make an informed decision . . . right? Reluctant to place that call, I paced the office a few times, tapping my lips with my forefinger. If I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t know, and I had to know everything. My main problem in life is not just that I often find myself in unusual circumstances, but that I am endowed with an overabundance of curiosity that bodes ill for me—most of the time.

I dialed up the number as my anxiety rocketed to new proportions. The phone rang a few times and I considered hanging up. Just when I had decided to leave my father out of this, he answered the call. Dang!

“Hi, Dad. It’s me, Lavinia.”

“And?” His deep voice rumbled.

His old-world, Italian attitude was the usual state of affairs. My father and I go head to head often, but he is my dad and I am his only daughter, so . . . he wished that I would marry, settle down, produce a pack of little monsters, cook pasta, and truck everyone to soccer practice. Those were never going to be on my ‘To Do’ list. I like kids—just as long as they’re other people’s kids. My brother, Giovanni, is a doctor in Nebraska and does no wrong in the eyes of my parents. Conversely, I am not viewed with those particular rose-colored glasses.

Don’t get me wrong, my parents love me . . . it’s just that Gio has an approved profession, a wife, and they live a mundane existence—it’s mundane in my estimation, anyway. After all, how exciting could the cornfields of Nebraska be?

My father is of the opinion that I work a man’s job and live too dangerously. He also disapproves of the fact that I hang out with cops and he continually points out how I have picked up bad manners and other poor habits from them. Well, not everyone is perfect.

“Dad, I recently met a man who says he knows you. He has gray hair, a rugged build, and hangs out with a guy named Louie-the-Lug. What’s his name, do you know?” The phone was silent for so long I thought I’d lost the connection. I shook the small piece of equipment, tapped it on the counter, and stared at the face of it. The line was still open, so I asked, “Dad, are you there?”

“Are you on the Hill?” he murmured in a resigned voice.

“No, I’m at a community police station waiting for Freedom Banger. Remember her?”

“I do.”

“So do you know this guy or what?”

“He’s a businessman from the Hill. That’s all I can tell you . . . other than his name is Tony Jabroni. I want you to stay as far away from him as you possibly can without leaving Rhode Island.” He sighed and asked, “Do you understand?”

“I got it. I was only curious since he knew about your pizza restaurant and all.” A businessman from the Hill? That word ‘businessman’ covered a lot of ground when it came to those who hung out on Federal Hill.

“Where did you meet him?”

Time to lie by omission. I was on the fast track to hell, so what was one more lie on top of all the others? Lying by omission was a gift I’d been given at birth and it had become second nature whenever I found myself in a tight spot.

“He stopped by the station for a minute. This guy, Louie, came and picked him up.” It wasn’t a lie . . . not really, I’d convinced myself.

“Huh. You’re sure that was all?”

“Uh huh.” I lied again. “I’ve got to hang up. Freedom just came back from a call. I’ll talk to you later, Dad.” I disconnected and settled on the stool in the silent building, all by myself.

The ‘Hill’ is Federal Hill. Once known as the Italian mob mecca, it’s now an ethnic mix-and-match affair located in the City of Providence. Long ago the area was inhabited by all manner of cutthroats and thieves. The Mafia had owned Federal Hill and thrived on lots of bad guy stuff. Over the years, they were downsized by the FBI with help from the local and Rhode Island State Police. Mafia families had all but disappeared, humbled by jail sentences in federal prisons across America. Business was bad. Things fell into decay.

But alas, as with everything, there’d been a resurgence of mob activity lately, but more hush, hush than ever.

The police computer sat handy, so I typed Tony Jabroni’s name into the search engine. It took a minute, but more information than I thought possible scrolled across the screen. He wasn’t Mr. Nice Guy, but a thug with a long list of problems with the law. I read on and on. Afraid I would get caught on the computer, I finally clicked the window closed and brought back Free’s report page.

While I wondered if anyone had seen Tony get shot, I called my friend and confidant, Lola Trapezi, to ask if she’d be able to make the trip to Providence to pick up my sorry ass. After I explained what happened with the old woman, she snickered a bit. Then she asked if I was unharmed and agreed to come and get me. Lola wondered if I had spoken to Marcus—the main man in my life—about my unfortunate incident. I told her I hadn’t, and she shouldn’t either. With that said, I disconnected the call and waited, hoping no new disaster would arise before she arrived.

The Salt & Pepper Deli is located down the street from my house. Lola owns it and is an extraordinary chef. We have been friends for years. When I inherited my aunt’s two-level, monstrous colonial that held two apartments, Lola had been supportive in my life in general.

Aunt Lavinia, or Livvy as I called her, had been my favorite aunt. When she passed away a year before, I’d been devastated. I visited her grave often since it is only a few blocks from the house. Not only do I resemble Livvy, I bear her name, her figure, and her attitude. With strong Italian genes, the only thing I hadn’t inherited was the upper lip growth of hair—we all need to be thankful for something.

Within minutes of my call to Lola, Freedom strode through the door. She finished my stolen vehicle report, put the description of the woman and the car out over the air for other cops, and started another report on the call she’d just responded to. I hung around until the front door opened and Lola marched in.

… Continued…

Download the entire book now to continue reading on Kindle!

Cold Moon Dead

(Book 4, Esposito Series)
by J.M. Griffin
4.7 stars – 44 reviews
Special Kindle Price:
99 cents!!

(regular price: $2.99 –
deal ends 9.29.13)

KND Freebies: SLOW BURN: ZERO DAY by Bobby Adair is featured in today’s Free Kindle Nation Shorts excerpt

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Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

A new flu strain has been spreading across Africa, Europe, and Asia. Disturbing news footage is flooding the cable news channels. People are worried. People are frightened. But Zed Zane is oblivious.

Zed needs to borrow rent money from his parents. He gets up Sunday morning, drinks enough tequila to stifle his pride and heads to his mom’s house for a lunch of begging, again.

But something is wrong. There’s blood in the foyer. His mother’s corpse is on the living room floor. Zed’s stepdad, Dan, is wild with crazy-eyed violence and attacks Zed when he comes into the house. They struggle into the kitchen. Dan’s yellow teeth tear at Zed’s arm but Zed grabs a knife and stabs Dan 37 times, or so the police later say.

With infection burning in his blood, Zed is arrested for murder. But the world is falling apart, and he soon finds himself back on the street, fighting for his life among the infected who would kill him and the normal people who fear him.

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an excerpt from

Slow Burn: Zero Day

by Bobby Adair

Chapter 1


That day arrived like every other day in my life…

I came into it ill-informed and unprepared.

There had been exaggerated news reports over the past few weeks about the upcoming flu season’s annual pandemic. The whiners on the talking-head channels were making noise about racial cleansing that had spread out of Somalia and into Kenya, Ethiopia, and Sudan. There was widespread civil disorder in China and the military was cracking down hard. Soldiers were marching. Tanks were rolling. Reporters were being arrested and internet communication had been disconnected, to whatever degree that can be done. There was rioting in some Mediterranean cities and the Mideast had oscillated into a more violent phase of its perpetual cycle.

The world was falling apart…

…in all the usual ways.

So I’d shrugged it off and spent my Saturday watching pre-season football with my buddies. I got a little too drunk, slept a little too late, and on that Sunday morning, my head hurt a little too much. It didn’t help that I was going to see my mom and Dan for a needling, nagging, degrading lunch that would end with my asking for a five-hundred dollar loan to cover rent, again, and I’d get another long speech about doing something with my life, showing a little enthusiasm, or developing some kind of work ethic.

How else could that morning have started, other than with a few shots from a now-empty tequila bottle on my kitchen counter?

And perhaps I should have not just noticed, but really paid attention to the weirdness in the streets on the drive over. But when one gets up in the morning and explicitly decides to paint oneself into oblivion behind a screen of booze, dark sunglasses, and heavy metal music, an unconcerned world just slides past, beyond an apathetic fog. Which is the whole point.

All of that worked just as planned until I walked into Mom’s house and slipped in some blood on the floor in the foyer. I was dumbstruck at the scene in the living room: some semi-mutilated guy, sitting deathly still in a chair by the fireplace, my mother, on the living room floor in a pool of blood, and Dan, on his knees with his back to me, hunched over her with busy elbows and noisy hands.

Time ticked languidly past. Unsavory images bombarded my optic nerve, only be to be rejected by my unreceptive brain.

Unencumbered by the state of horrified surprise that afflicted me, Dan stood up and looked at me with his thin gray comb-over dangling in front of his pale round face. His blood-smeared lips smacked and his crazy dark eyes fixated on me.

I yanked my phone from my pocket and threatened, “Dan, I’m going to call the police.” As if I wasn’t going to do that anyway.

He came at me, clearly not afraid of the police.

My feet somehow found traction on the slippery floor and I bounded into the kitchen. Dan gave chase with his big, blue-collar hands grasping at my shirttail.

With surprising speed, he caught me near the dishwasher. A big ape hand squeezed into my arm and spun me around. The other reached for my throat, with toothy jaws following close behind. I tried to protect myself by throwing up my left arm.

I reached over and pulled a large carving knife from the block on the counter, and I stabbed Dan, tentatively at first, but as his teeth tore my skin I stabbed again and again, with increasingly brutal enthusiasm.

When it was over, I sat on the floor with my back to a cabinet door in a large, copper-smelling puddle of Dan’s blood, with his sweaty body pinned across my legs.

He was dead.

I was fixated on the horrid bite wound on my left forearm. For a long time I watched, hypnotized, as the blood oozed and dripped.

Sometimes, a half-bottle of breakfast tequila just isn’t enough to deal with the day’s reality.

I dropped the knife and proceeded to roll the flabby corpse onto the tile.

I walked through the mess in the kitchen and found my cell phone on the floor in the foyer. Thankfully, it hadn’t broken in the scuffle. I dialed 911.

Busy.

Shit!

I tried again.

Busy.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

I walked out the front door and onto the wide porch. The upper middle-class cracker neighborhood ignored me, focused instead on its own pockets of human chaos. Four houses down, across the street, some sort of scuffle had spilled out of the front door and people were struggling on the lawn. A car raced up the street at a very unsafe speed. Some residents loitered aimlessly.

I dialed 911 again. Still busy.

What the hell?

I went back into the house, closing and locking the front door behind me. Things weren’t making sense.

I went into the living room and looked down at my mother’s torn body and shook my head. It was surreal.

I guess some people in that situation would have crumbled, some would have cried, but I’d emotionally disconnected from life a long time ago. For that, I had to thank the skeletal bitch on the floor, with her greedy rodent soul and her short-tempered ape-mate in the kitchen. If anything, her death was a belated answer to old prayers, with a bit of an unexpected mess.

I thought about an inheritance and an end to my financial troubles. I thought about the infection from Dan’s stale breath and yellow teeth beginning to fester under my skin. I thought about the eventual scar and the great bar room story it would make. Pain today, pussy tomorrow. Half a smile bent my lips.

The guy in the chair was in bad shape. Not living, of course, but in bad shape even for a corpse. His right arm was missing whole bite-sized chunks of flesh, human bite-sized chunks. His head was beaten beyond recognition. On the floor beside the chair lay a bloody fireplace poker, quite likely the weapon that had given his skull its new shape.

I felt sick to my stomach. I felt an uncharacteristic chill.

I looked down at the wound on my arm. Coagulation hadn’t yet begun to staunch the flow of blood. I needed to do something about that.

I dialed 911 again. Nothing.

Crap.

I went to Mom and Dan’s bedroom and into the master bath, opening the medicine cabinet.

I found an off-brand bottle of antibacterial liquid.

My head started to pound. The morning’s tequila had outlived its usefulness.

Looking around for something with which to scrub, I found myself staring at the toothbrush holder. Mom and Dan weren’t going to need those anymore. I lay my forearm over the sink, poured the antibacterial into the gaping tears, and clenched my teeth.

Holy crap, it hurt.

Next, I went after the wound with a toothbrush.

More pain.

More antibacterial.

Rinse. Soap. Scrub. Pain, pain, pain.

Rinse. Antibacterial.

Clench the teeth.

Don’t scream like a pussy.

Antibacterial.

Breathe.

My head was about to explode.

Letting my wound air-dry, I found a bottle of aspirin, threw four into my mouth and slurped some water from the sink to wash them down. I found a tube of antibacterial cream and squirted it liberally into the wounds as blood slowly mixed with it, trying to wash it back out. A box of Band-Aids would have to fulfill the next requirement, as no gauze or tape was in the cabinet.

I felt another chill. A fever was coming. Not good.

I used half the box of Band-Aids to pull the edges of my torn skin together. Blood oozed through. I found what appeared to be a clean washrag under the sink and used an Ace bandage to wrap it over my forearm.

I stood up straight to leave the bathroom and dizziness hit me so hard that I lost my balance and fell against the wall.

Christ!

Blood loss. It had to be the blood loss.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and tried 911 again. Still busy.

Suspecting then that the phone had been damaged in the scuffle with Dan, I made my way to the landline phone that sat on the nightstand by the bed.

I picked it up and dialed 911. Busy.

Dammit!

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

The dizziness returned and I fell into a sitting position on the bed.

The television’s remote control beckoned me from the nightstand. I grabbed it, leaned back on the headboard, and turned the television on. A few minutes of satisfying my addiction to mindless blabber would pass the time while I waited for the phones to free up. The news was on.

Eh.

Changing the channel suddenly seemed like an onerous chore, so I dropped the remote and let the TV’s colorful opiate wash over me.

A worried newscaster was talking over a video of some shopping center in France. He described the scene as a riot, but the video showed something much more violent.

People were running and screaming. Police were trying to restore order, but intermingled in the crowd were what appeared to be normal people, dressed in their Sunday afternoon casual clothes, going completely nuts.

“What the hell?”

The pounding in my head worsened. The chills carried with them a case of shivers. A high-grade fever was on the way. The four aspirin were proving insufficient. I reached for the telephone again to call 911, felt the room suddenly spin, and saw the hideous design on the carpet race up to smash me in the face.

Chapter 2


I woke up disoriented. My head throbbed. My throat was so dry I couldn’t swallow. My swollen arm hurt like hell. Numbness tingled my left hand.

Cheap motel carpet scum clung to my skin as I peeled my face away from the rug. I got up on my hands and knees. Standing and walking was out of the question, so I crawled to the bathroom sink where I pulled myself up.

Having accomplished that, I bent over at the waist and lay flat on the blue swirl faux marble counter top. I turned on the faucet. Beautiful, cool water flowed. I cupped a hand in the stream and sucked in what seemed like a gallon before I slipped back down to the floor.

Morning light spread shadows across the bathroom and onto the far wall above the garden tub. For a while, I watched a square of sunlight slowly inch down the wall as the sun went about its normal rounds.

As my dizziness waned, I pulled myself up to the sink again and gulped more water. My throat felt as if it had been sanded raw then left in the unforgiving sun to dry.

I dropped to the floor again and closed my eyes for a moment that lasted long enough for the sun’s rays to slide its square of light onto the floor.

When I opened my eyes again, my thoughts had cleared somewhat and I was able to hold a thought about something other than how completely shitty I felt. I pulled myself up to stand on wobbly legs.

To my surprise, I remained upright.

I drank again from the bathroom sink and looked down at the crusty brown washrag and bandage on my left forearm. I flexed my hand a few times. The damage wasn’t enough to hinder movement, but infection was sure to set in if I didn’t get to a doctor and get some antibiotics.

That’s when it occurred to me that it was late morning. The sunlight spilling in through the east-facing window made that clear. I realized that I had slept through the entire night on the carpet in the bedroom. I recalled the scene in the living room—Mom, Dan, and the guy with the smashed skull. I needed to call the police about that. They’d be none too thrilled with the elapsed time between the deaths and the phone call to summon them.

I thought back to Sunday’s breakfast tequila, and wondered how drunk I was when I’d gotten to Mom and Dan’s place. I wondered whether I’d been so drunk that I blacked out and delivered them some karma in a state of repressed psycho-rage.

Crap. I shook my head.

Maybe it was all just a nightmare.

Using the dresser, then the walls, then the doorjambs for support, I slowly made my way into the hall and out to the living room.

The pungent smell did its best to seep in through my pores as I forced my reluctant feet forward. The closer I got, the surer I was that my nightmare was real.

Step. Step. Step.

Christ!

A swarm of industriously prolific flies had come into the house through the open back door. They buzzed over the feast of Mom’s stinky remains and a generation of young maggots vacationed on the corpse of the guy in the chair.

Dan’s punctured body would be in the kitchen where I’d left it. I didn’t need a confirmation venture in there.

I needed to call the police, and in spite of the gore on the floor and the stench in the air, I needed to get something to eat.

I weighed the two priorities and the fear of the police’s authority sent me back into the master bedroom to the phone.

My cell phone lay on the floor near where I’d gone comatose the night before.

The landline on the nightstand, being so much closer to my hand, was my first choice. I lifted it to my ear.

Dial tone.

That was good.

I dialed 911.

Busy.

“Damn it!” I slammed it down. “What the hell is going on?!”

I sat down on the bed and dropped my head into my hands.

Well, no cops for the moment.

Food, then.

I managed my way back up the hall, passed the living room, and stopped at the entryway to the kitchen. The buzz of flies echoed off the tile and hard surfaces. A congealed puddle of Dan’s blood covered half the floor and spread all the way under the fridge.

I was stuck. To get to the fridge, I’d have to wade through the nastiness of Dan’s spilled fluids.

“Jesus, it just keeps getting worse.”

Tracking Dan’s sticky blood all over the house didn’t sit well with me, so I found the cabinet with the kitchen towels, grabbed a stack, and laid them out in front of me like stepping stones in the blood.

What seemed like a good plan prior to the first step, turned to shit when a towel slipped in the slime. My feet went out from under me and I fell. My head hit the tile and exploded in a flash of pain and bright lights. I sent a string of curse words echoing through the house.

As disgusting as it was, I lay on the floor for several long minutes while the pain, in what seemed like every part of me, took its time to dissipate.

At least nothing seemed to be broken. Feeling the disgusting brownish red goo all over my back, I rolled over onto my hands and knees and slowly stood.

Bracing myself on the counters, I got to the fridge and pulled it open. For the second time in as many days, God’s good fortune shone on me. An unopened thirty-two ounce sports drink sat on the shelf.

I reached in, wrestled with the cap for a moment, put it up to my mouth, and poured it into my throat.

I stopped to take a breath. I sat the bottle on the island in the middle of the kitchen. The smooth granite invited my hands to linger on its cold surface. I leaned over, pressed my face on the stone, and reveled in the coolness.

As the minutes passed, the sugar from the sports drink seeped into my bloodstream and the glucose hit me like a rush of cocaine. The contrast from bad to good was so drastic it brought tears to my eyes.

With waning dizziness, I straightened up. I gulped down more of the sports drink and gingerly walked out of the kitchen.

I stopped for a brief pause in front of a large mirror in the foyer.

“Jeez.” I looked like crap, covered with blood, hair awry, an enormous makeshift bandage on my arm, and my skin so pale that I wondered how much blood I’d lost.

I went into the laundry room, stripped off my clothes, and threw them along with my gory tennis shoes into the washer. Naked, and still covered in the most disgusting goo, I walked to the guest bath and got into the shower to scrub myself clean and peel the crusty bandage off of my arm under the warm water.

After the shower, I sat naked on the bed and finished the sports drink as the sound of the washing machine in the next room vibrated. The wound on my arm oozed pus and blood. I’d need to rewrap it with whatever first aid supplies were left.

I picked up the remote and turned on the television. My thumb went on autopilot surf mode as I thought about what to do. The police, the hospital, or both?

News flickered to life on the screen.

Click. News.

Click. News.

Click. Still nothing but news.

“News sucks.”

I settled for one of the national cable news channels and turned up the volume.

The story was the same as Sunday, more rioting in France, but Germany, Italy, and England were added to the list. A panel of experts, or rather, speculators, argued about a virulent flu of some sort. International travel had been suspended by most countries. Airline stocks were tanking and the rest of the market was following their prices south. There was video footage of overwhelmed hospitals, and bodies lying in the streets. An announcement from the White House was expected in a few hours.

The washer buzzed, so I went into the laundry room, put my things into the dryer, and started it up.

Back in the guest room, I turned down the volume on the television and tried 911 again.

This time, it rang.

Chapter 3


Meeting a naked psycho-creep in a house full of dead people was sure to leave a negative impression on the soon-to-be arriving police, so I retrieved my damp clothes from the dryer and dressed.

Suddenly worried about disturbing the crime scene, I chose to sit in a tiny clean spot in the wide foyer, taking care to keep my hands in my lap.

It wasn’t long before the doorbell chimed twice, followed by a series of rapid beats on the door.

“It’s the police. Open up,” a voice commanded from outside.

“All right. Just a sec.” I stood as quickly as I could, considering my blood loss.

Again, pounding on the door. “It’s the police. Open up.”

“All right,” I croaked, then muttered, “impatient bastards.”

More beating on the door. “Sir, you need to open up.”

I pulled the door open a dozen inches.

Two policemen fixed me in the predatory stare of their big, black, bug-eyed glasses before glancing down to the blood-covered white marble floor. One officer’s hand landed on the butt of his gun. The second officer grasped the handle of his gun.

Very loudly, one of them commanded me to step slowly back from the door. The other officer ordered me to show my hands.

“What?” was all I got out before the cop closest to me rushed forward, shouldered the door, and knocked me onto my back.

Before I could react, a cop was on me. My arm was wrenched around behind my back and I was leveraged onto my belly. A heavy knee landed on my neck, smashing my face into the floor. A handcuff caught one wrist. My other wrist was yanked back and cuffed to the first.

It all happened faster than I could come up with a snarky comment. “Hey! Hey! I’m the one who called you!”

They pretended like I hadn’t spoken.

“Don’t move!” one of the officers commanded, as he took his weight off of me.

I found myself staring at his shiny black shoe, situated just inches from my face.

I heard footsteps as the other officer went further into the house.

“Oh, my God!” There was revulsion in the other officer’s voice.

“What?” the cop standing over me asked.

Nothing for a moment.

“Oh, my God,” said the second officer again.

“What?!” the first officer demanded. Then, to me he barked, “Don’t move.”

I watched his feet back slowly toward the living room. “Everything all right, Bill?”

Nothing.

“Bill?”

Just footsteps, shuffling backward.

Then Bill’s voice again, deflated this time. “Oh, my God.”

The second officer’s voice came next. “That’s sick!”

Then the footsteps got louder again.

The first officer’s voice yelled, “No!”

“You sick pig!” the second guy yelled, as I saw his shiny black shoe coming at my face.

Chapter 4


My right eye was swollen into a bluish lump. My lips were chapped. My throat was dry. My formerly clean shirt had a fresh coat of dried blood, some of it mine, all down the front. I was handcuffed to a metal table in a police interrogation room, alone and staring at the camera in the upper corner.

With no windows and no clocks, I didn’t know what time it was. I only knew I’d been in there for many, many long hours.

While I waited for my unscrupulous interrogator to return, I amused myself by tapping out a rhythm on the table, and alternately extending a middle finger from each hand at the camera above.

I leaned over and lay my face flat on the table, drawing minor comfort from the temperature of the steel. I closed my eyes, knowing that as soon as I dozed off, my interrogator would return to deprive me of sleep.

I heard the door open, but didn’t respond.

The phonebook slammed down on the table next to my head. I was too exhausted to react.

I heard a voice tell someone else, “This one’s still out. I don’t know what sent all the crackheads on a killing spree this week, but we’ve got to get that shit off the street.”

“Yeah,” another voice agreed. “I’ve got mine next door. Let me know if you come up with anything.”

A moment later, the chair across the table from me scooted out and I heard a heavy man sit down.

He followed with a few exaggerated sighs. He loudly sipped from his coffee. He clinked the hard paper cup on the table next to my head.

Silence passed as he decided what to do next. A sharp exhalation and a hard slap on the back of my head announced his decision.

“Hey crackhead. Wake up.”

I didn’t react to the slap. Pain was becoming surprisingly easy to ignore.

I lolled my head in another direction and opened my eyes to look at my angry tormentor.

“What were you on?”

“What?” I feigned ignorance. I guess I was too hardheaded to cooperate.

He slapped me again.

“I thought police didn’t do this sort of thing anymore,” I said.

That earned me another slap.

The detective leaned back in his chair and drew a deep breath and stared at me.

“Look, Ezekiel…Ezekiel, that’s your name, right?”

I picked my head up off the table. I straightened up in the chair, out of arm’s reach for the moment. “Yeah, but my friends call me Zed. Zed Zane.”

“Look, Zed, maybe you got started off on the wrong foot here.”

I looked down at the worn phone book on the desk and gave voice to my frustrations. “What? Is it your turn now to beat me with a phone book? Do you guys work in shifts or what? What time is it? Why can’t I get a lawyer? Why do you guys keep telling me the camera doesn’t work? Don’t you have one of those, ah…those, ah…who are those guys they have on TV? Oh, yeah, detectives. Why don’t you get one of them to look at the crime scene and confirm what I’ve been telling you all night? It has been all night hasn’t it?”

The detective ignored my outburst for several long breaths. “Are you done?”

In response, I chose a conversational technique that hadn’t failed me since junior high: I ignored him.

The big man leaned his furry forearms on the table. “You gotta understand, Zed. You come in here in wet clothes that you just washed all the evidence out of. You assault the arresting officers.” He shook his head.

“Bullshit.” I’d heard that accusation a thousand times at that point.

“You talk about killing your stepdad…You did kill him right? I mean you admitted that much, right? It’s right here in the file.”

Not any less irritated, I said, “I told you, it was self-defense. He was attacking me.” I drew a deep breath. “And where the hell do people even get phone books anymore?”

The officer crossed his big fuzzy arms and said nothing for a moment.

I did the same.

“Are you through?”

“Through with what?”

“Acting like an ass?” he said.

“What? Are you kidding me? Really? I go to my mom’s house yesterday morning. I find my stepdad going all cannibal on her in the living room. He attacks me and I stab him with a knife to defend myself. I call the cops and then Dudley Do-Right and his partner show up, don’t even ask me a question, and decide instead to beat the shit out of me and drop me here. Does that about sum it up?”

No response. I went on. “Now after who knows how long I’ve been in here, with you guys taking turns yelling at me, calling me a liar, oh, and beating me in the head with the phone book, you wanna say I’m acting like an ass? Well forgive me for being so goddamned rude!”

“Hi, I’m Zed Zane. I’m so pleased to meet you. Would you like a cup of tea?”

He didn’t react. He just stared at me.

So, we played the staring game for a good five minutes before I won and he asked, “Are you through now?”

“Whatever,” I responded.

“Let’s start again. I’m Detective Tom Wolsely.” He extended a hand across the table to shake mine.

I looked at his hand but made no move to respond. Of course, I did have two hands cuffed to the table.

“Don’t be an ass, Zed. It’s polite to shake a hand when it’s offered.”

“Maybe you guys should have thought about that whenever the hell it was that you locked me in here. How long have I been in here, anyway?”

The hand still hung over the table, just inches above the metal loop that constrained mine. “Zed?”

“Oh, good God.” I angled a wrist up and opened my palm.

He jiggled my hand roughly in the cuffs.

“Thank you, Zed.”

I let go and let my hand drop to the stainless steel.

“You have to understand, Zed, this story about your stepdad turning into a cannibal…what did you really think we’d think, Zed? It all sounds a little far-fetched, don’t you think? He was a deacon in the church. A member of the school board. A retired principal. Are we really supposed to believe he got all hopped up on crack and killed your mother and the neighbor?”

I nodded. “Of course I do. I thought the whole thing was pretty crazy when I got to my mom’s for lunch. Look, don’t you have some kind of forensics team or something? Don’t you guys look at evidence before you start beating the crap out of suspects anymore? I mean, Christ!”

“We’ve got people at the scene,” Detective Wolsely told me.

“So what’s the deal then? Are we going to just sit in this room until you get tired of beating me, or are you going to look at the evidence and then apologize to me?”

“Look, Zed. Let’s just put all of that aside for the moment. You keep saying you went to your mom’s house yesterday morning––”

“I did.”

“––and you tell us the story. But your story is so full of holes that you could drive a truck through it.”

“What? What holes? How can there be any holes? It’s not like you talked to the other witnesses, because you can’t, because they’re dead.”

“Zed, calm down. I’m trying to help you here, and in return I’d like for you to help me, too.”

“By being your punching bag?”

“Now, Zed, that wasn’t called for.”

“I don’t see how any time could be called for better than this one, do you? I mean, I have been in here for hours, being beaten and called a liar, yelled at, and berated, threatened, and, oh, did I mention, getting beaten like punching bag?”

Wolsely leaned back in his chair and froze in his cross-armed pose again.

“Whatever.” I sat back in my chair and drew a few deep, calming breaths.

“Zed, you say you got to your parents’ house yesterday morning, and you found your mom and the dead neighbor. Then you fought with your stepdad and that he was killed in the fight.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what happened.”

“Well, Zed, that’s not possible.”

“What do you mean? How could you even come to that conclusion?”

“Zed, we’re not complete idiots here in the police department. For one thing, our forensic guys are pretty good at determining time of death. It’s simpler than you think, especially when it’s recent. They just compare the core temperature to the ambient temperature, and get a pretty quick estimate of the time of death.”

“Okay, I watch TV, too. So what’s the problem?”

“Your stepdad has been dead for at least two full days.”

“What? What? That’s not possible.”

“See, Zed?” Wolsely said. “Holes in your story.”

“Wait, wait. What day is this?”

“What day is it?” Wolsely repeated.

“Yes. I told you I went to my parents’ house on Sunday afternoon. I told you I passed out…I guess from blood loss or something, but it must have been longer than I thought.”

“You passed out for two solid days and never woke up.”

“Why, what’s today?”

“Late Tuesday night, early Wednesday morning, you pick.”

“Wednesday?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. I guess so,” I said.

Detective Wolsely changed the subject. “Tell me about your mom, Zed.”

I huffed a couple of times and looked around the room while I thought about that.

After several minutes, I said, “You know, when I was kid I used to watch this Tarzan show on TV, and there was this recurring concept in that show about an elephant graveyard. Kind of the African version of El Dorado, only with ivory instead of gold.”

Detective Wolsely asked, “What does this have to do with anything?”

“You asked me a question, Detective. I’m trying to answer it.”

“Fine.”

“So, Detective, when the white men came to Africa, they didn’t see any elephant carcasses lying about with all the free ivory they could carry, so they concocted this theory about the existence of an elephant graveyard, where all of the elephants would go to die.

“I used to think my mom was like that graveyard, only instead of elephants going there to die, happiness would.”

Detective Wolsely asked, “And now that she’s dead, you don’t think that anymore?”

“No, that’s not it at all. I think that like those white men that went to Africa, who’d erroneously deduced the existence of an elephant graveyard, I erred in my deduction that my mother was a passive graveyard for happiness.”

Wolsely was getting bored.

“Did you know that hyenas eat bone?” I asked.

Detective Wolsely shook his head.

“Yeah, they’ll eat pretty much anything. Even bone. They’re predators. They’re scavengers. They’re ugly. But most of all, they’re voracious. That’s my mother.”

“Your mother is a hyena?”

“In a way, I guess. You see, she’s not the graveyard where happiness goes to die. She’s a voracious scavenger, constantly searching for any waning happiness, so that she can kill it off and eat up any evidence that it ever existed. That’s my mom.”

Detective Wolsely looked at me like he’d just found me covered in dog poop. “What drugs are you on, Zed?”

“What?”

“What drugs are you on? Nobody loses track of two days and then just gets up all normal and calls the police.”

“Normal? I never said that. I told you I feel like crap. I was running a high fever. I still am.”

“So you say.”

“Yes, I do say. Get a thermometer and check for yourself! Holy freakin’ crap!”

“Just tell me what you were on, Zed. Tell me where you got it. There’s something seriously bad out on the street and it’s making people crazy. We need to catch the guy that sold it to you. Things might even go easier on you if we can prove it was the drugs that made you crazy.”

“What?”

“We took a blood sample while you were passed out, Zed. We’ll figure out what it was. I mean, whether it was crack or meth or whatever. But we need to figure out what it was laced with. We need to know where you got it, so we can get it off the street. There’s a lot of people going crazy on this stuff, Zed.”

“What about that flu in Europe or whatever it is? I saw rioting on TV.”

“Zed, let’s be realistic here. There is no flu that makes people crazy.”

“How can you say that?” I asked.

“Ratings,” Wolsely said. “Sure there’s a flu but the flu makes you puke and cough. It gives you diarrhea. It doesn’t make people crazy. Those were just frightened people, doing stupid things. Zed, the world is much simpler than all of you conspiracy nuts think it is. People make bad, irrational choices for the stupidest reasons every day. I see it all the time, believe me. There is no crazy flu going around. The answers are never that complicated. Trust me.”

“Whatever.”

“Besides, why Austin? Why not New York, or LA, or Chicago? There are a hundred cities more likely to get an outbreak of the flu than Austin. We’re not exactly a major point of entry here, are we Zed? Come on, just tell me what you were on and where you got it.”

I shook my head and looked at the floor. “Jeez, Tom. Listen to me, please. I didn’t take any drugs. I was drinking. I drank a lot on Saturday. I smoked some weed with my friends. I drank some tequila on Sunday morning before heading over to my mom’s house. I’ve told you this a thousand times.”

“When did you smoke the weed?”

“It was just weed!”

“When did you smoke it?”

“The night before, like I said.”

“When the night before? Zed, it may have been laced with PCP, or something worse. Surely you’ve heard of that before. PCP makes some people lose their shit, Zed. That may have happened to you.”

I shook my head again and weakly said, “No.”

“Where did you get the weed, Zed?”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t even my weed.”

“Who did you smoke it with, Zed? They may be having problems too. They might be in worse shape, Zed. They could be dead for all you know.”

I gave him the names of my buddies.

Chapter 5


The jail was old, like a hundred years old. The section I was in had been built in the late 1800s. It was dirty. It was smelly. Every surface was sticky beneath aged layers of oral ejecta and other human secretions.

I was in a holding cell about seven feet deep and thirty feet long. One long wall was brick. The other three were comprised of iron bars with layer upon layer of flakes, painted over by more layers of flakes. Two rows of bunks, one on the top and one on the bottom, hung from the wall for a total of eight. A single commode stood at one end, covered in stains and lumpy smears.

With my photograph taken and black ink on my fingers, I was shoved into the cell that already held twenty-five other guys, laying and sitting in the bunks and on the floor. At least a few of my fellow inmates were mentally unplugged. They stared blankly at the wall. Some paced across the spots of floor where a foot would fit. One very animated guy bounced around the cell like a chimp, screaming Tourette’s-like profanities and gibberish. Most looked drunk, hung-over, beaten up, or some combination thereof.

“I need to see a doctor,” I told the jailer, as he slammed the door shut.

He headed back to the end of the hall as though I’d said nothing at all.

“Hey, I need to see a doctor!”

Nothing.

“Hey!” I yelled.

The jailer stopped and glared at me. “Look, bud, you can see we’re having a busy day. So lighten up, would you?”

“But I need medical attention for my arm.”

“After you get assigned to a cell, you can ask your guard for permission to go to the infirmary.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” The guard turned and ignored further protests.

The Tourette’s guy shrieked at the ceiling from his perch on a top bunk. Nobody paid him any mind.

I looked around…there was no bunk space available. There was barely any floor space either, the only exception being a few feet next to a comatose giant of a black man leaning on the bars near the commode.

I stood, holding the bars of the door and looking up and down the short hall. Two long halls branched off at either end and led to rows of cells in the new section of the jail. I heard the rowdy noise of hundreds of other prisoners coming from down those halls.

Tourette’s guy shrieked again. “I’m hungry!”

I leaned my face against the sticky, flaky iron bars and closed my eyes. The bite on my arm throbbed noticeably but didn’t hurt. Infection was sure to set in. I worried about that, and about what Wolsely had said about drugs in the weed my buddies and I had smoked on Saturday night.

I wanted to feel angry about the lazy incompetence of the police who’d locked me up, but all I felt was drained and frustrated.

I wondered how long I’d have to wait for my inevitable release. I flexed the fingers of my left hand again, checking for loss of movement.

The lighting in the jail was too stark, unnaturally bright. It bothered my eyes. I longed for a pair of sunglasses.

I was mere minutes into my incarceration and I was already bored.

An old tube television hung from the ceiling across the hall from the cell. There was something on about riots again, something about the new flu virus. Having grown up with Mom and Dan’s addiction to the repetitive ravings of the non-stop cable news faces, I possessed a high tolerance for hysterical speculation. Football, baseball, even bowling would have been a better choice than news on the TV.

I looked down at my feet. “This place sucks.”

Off to my right, I heard Tourette’s boy start bouncing on his bunk.

“Man, shut up,” somebody over there said.

A few more voiced agreement.

I looked over. Tourette’s boy was getting more aggressive.

Then, he surprised everyone by bounding off of the top bunk and onto one of the sitting prisoners.

A frenzy of fighting exploded from the far end of the cell. There was screaming, yelling, kicking, punching, and biting, lots of biting. The wave of pandemonium pushed toward me, and I decided the safest place in the cell was in the stinky muck in the corner behind the commode. I stepped quickly over the big black guy who was just starting to get up and wormed my way into the corner.

Yelling from outside the cell told me that the guards already knew what was happening in the cell.

There were arms and legs and fists. There were guys on the ground and guys clambering into the bunks. The big black guy had his back to me and pretty much blocked all access to my end of the cell. I’m sure that defending me wasn’t what he intended. He just didn’t see me as a threat.

Suddenly, Tourette’s boy came flying out of the melee and landed in some sort of monkey grasp around the big guy’s head and shoulders. As the big guy grasped at him to pull him off, Tourette’s boy caught me with the craziest eyes I’d ever seen, opened his mouth wide, and chomped down on the big guy’s neck.

A canister clinked in through the bars. Smoke exploded into the cell, burning my eyes.

The heavy metal door swung open and the guards, dressed in riot gear, bulled their way in.

… Continued…

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Judith Townsend Rocchiccioli writes about what she knows — medicine and big urban hospitals. Add some mystery, bad guys, intrigue and suspense, mix in New Orleans culture and a tough, beautiful protagonist, and you get this “gripping page turner” of a medical thriller…

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Here’s the set-up:

It’s Mardi Gras season in post-Katrina New Orleans. With only one week until the big day, thousands of tourists have flocked to the city, paralyzing traffic and jamming the French Quarter with drunken crowds and garbage. City officials are hoping for record crowds and record revenues to generate the biggest boost to the Crescent City since the “big storm.”

Alexander Lee Destephano, legal counsel for Crescent City Medical Center, a world-class hospital, is excitedly anticipating her third Mardi Gras Season and most of all, her date with dashing art historian Mitch Landry. The couple has tickets to the Endymion Extravaganza, the biggest Mardi Gras Ball in New Orleans at the Super Dome on Saturday evening. After many months, life is good again and Alex is determined to experience and appreciate everything it has to offer. She can hardly wait until Saturday evening.

But, things change. Alex is stat-paged to the Medical Center at 6:00 am on Monday morning only to learn from her boss, Don Montgomery and her former husband, Dr. Robert Bonnet that Grace Raccine, a cancer patient at CCMC and the first lady of Louisiana has been found unconscious in her room covered with blood with no visible injury. To compound matters, patients are leaving CCMC against medical advice and staff are refusing to work creating crisis and chaos in the Obamacare hospital environment. By the end of the day, the night with Mitch at the Endymion Ball is the last thing on Alex’s mind…

5-star praise from Amazon readers:

“[The author] combines…her knowledge…with complex characters and a few plot twists to create a real winner!”

“Involved plot, well woven, exciting pace. A very good mystery thriller.”

“Great story line…adds new knowledge and lore of…New Orleans.”

an excerpt from

Chaos at Crescent City Medical Center

by Judith Townsend Rocchiccioli

Chapter 1

The pungent smell of Cajun spices permeated the February New Orleans air. With only one week before Carnival, the French Quarter was blazing with activity. Ornate iron balconies bowed under the weight of dozens of people, pressed together tightly for a better look at the street below. Being “up” on a balcony during Mardi Gras was prestigious, giving one an immense sense of power and control over the crowd below. You could get people in the streets to do just about anything for a Mardi Gras “throw” — a string of plastic beads or an aluminum doubloon.

Raoul Dupree, a waiter at Tujague’s Restaurant, was smoking outside the door of the European-styled bistro. His eyes were riveted on a gorgeous man hanging over a balcony a few doors down. The man was teasing a lovely but drunk young woman in the street. The man fingered a string of gold beads in front of her and repeated “show your tits” continuously. Others on the balcony picked up the chant, and it became louder and louder, almost deafening. The young woman kept reaching for the gold beads, just to have them snatched from her grasp each time. She looked around and smiled drunkenly and benignly at the large crowds gathered nearby and above on the balconies. The man was smiling at her, taunting her and luring her to grab the beads. The chant had become louder and frenzied. Crowds on the street and adjoining balconies were wildly excited and picked up the rhythm, hollering, clapping and stamping their feet. Finally, in the flick of an instant, the young woman pulled up her white T-shirt exposing her perfectly shaped breasts. The crowd went wild, clapping and shouting with approval. The woman grabbed her beads held them up for the crowd and quickly disappeared into an alley.

Raoul smiled to himself, shaking his head. Mardi Gras still amazed him. After a lifetime of Carnival seasons, he still wasn’t used to the heavy partying, drunken and lewd behavior so common during the season. People would do anything for a Mardi Gras trinket. He shook his head and shrugged his frail shoulders as his eyes again located the handsome man just as a hand reached out and roughly grabbed his blonde hair and shoulder. Raoul startled and looked around quickly and saw the flushed face of the frowning Tujague’s maitre d’/bouncer.

“Your boys in the private booth are getting anxious, Raoul. Better get your skinny ass up there and keep ‘em happy. We don’t want any of those sons of bitches on our bad side,” said the burly maitre d’ said as he gestured toward the door.

Raoul stamped out his cigarette butt, grimaced and ran up two flights of steps to a private dining room where three men sat smoking after a long lunch. Tujague’s, the oldest restaurant in the French Quarter, had a reputation for privacy and discretion and was a meeting place for prominent New Orleanians engaged in all sorts of business legal and illegal. Privacy, circumspect service and seven-course prix fixe dinners made the restaurant a favorite.

The men were talking quietly as Raoul loitered outside the dining room.  One glance at the group convinced him not to interrupt. He recognized one man, but he’d never seen the others and wondered how they were connected. From what he’d observed, he didn’t think they knew each other well and doubted if they’d ever been together before. They didn’t seem to mix. After cocktails and several bottles of wine, the tone of their conversation had moved from strained politeness to menacing. The maitre d’ had wasted no words when he’d told Raoul to stay out of the room except to serve. Each time he’d entered the private booth conversation stopped.

The man Raoul recognized was Frederico Petrelli, better known as “Rico”, reputedly a mob boss from Chicago who’d recently moved to New Orleans to oversee the “Dixie Mafia’s” activities in the Riverboat and land gambling operations. Raoul knew Rico because he often dined at Tujague’s and usually had his special waiter, Matthew. Unfortunately, Matthew was off today due to injuries he’d received last week.

Raoul kept his distance as he eyed the group and decided he never wanted to run up against Frederico. He was in his mid-fifties, balding and at least 40 pounds overweight. He had a long irregular scar on his right forearm, and dark beady eyes. He glared at his companions with distrust and impatience. His thick pursed lips moved back and forth over a wet cigar in his mouth. Frederico was a classic picture of a vicious Chicago mafia boss.

The second man was also distinctive but in a different manner than the gangster. This man was tall, with a swarthy complexion. His dark oiled hair was pulled back into a ponytail. He had a long face with an aquiline nose and thin lips that seemed to curl in a permanent smirk. His eyes were strange, the color somewhere between a blackish-yellow, and they gave the man a sinister appearance. It was impossible to tell his age. He could be anywhere between 30 and 60. His body was big, well-proportioned and in perfect shape. Raoul was pretty sure about this because he spent most of his time visually undressing men and he could easily imagine the man’s six pack abs. His clothes were expensive, as was the gold medallion hanging around his neck. He wore dark trousers and a custom-designed dark shirt opened at the neck. He caressed a leather strap in his lap as if it were his lover as he alternately tapped his well-manicured nails against the hand-rubbed walnut table. His dark eyes moved side to side as he followed the conversation between the other two men. His eyes were unreadable and gave him a menacing and evil appearance. Raoul’s attention was drawn again to the leather strap in the ponytailed man’s lap as he continued to stroke the strap. The ponytailed stranger said little, instead following the conversation between Frederico and the third man. The ponytailed man gave Raoul the creeps, and Raoul rubbed away the chill bumps that had appeared on his arms. Raoul shuddered, thinking the man looked like the devil with those yellow-black eyes and dubbed him “the evil one”.

The third man was less distinctive. Raoul wouldn’t have paid much attention to him had his companions not been so macabre. The third man was about 40 years old with brown hair and an honest face. He spoke with a Midwest accent and seemed ordinary. The ordinary man was speaking when Frederico summoned Raoul into the dining room. Frederico rudely interrupted him.

“Give us sambukas all the way around. Also, a pot of  espresso, and get the fuck out of here,” Frederico barked at Raoul.

Raoul left quickly but heard the ordinary man say, don’t care what you do. I want Robert Bonnet ruined and dead. I don’t know what your interests are in the Bonnets and the medical center, but I want the man dead. He killed my wife and baby three years ago. Kill him. He had a wild look in his eyes, and was shaking. He appeared unstable.

Raoul’s ears picked up at the mention of Robert Bonnet. He knew Dr. Bonnet from the medical center where he worked as a volunteer on the AIDS floor. Dr. Bonnet had operated on his lover last year when no other surgeon had been willing to. Dr. Bonnet hadn’t cared that Josh had AIDS and would probably die anyway but had pulled strings to give Josh a chance to get a new liver and live longer. He’d given Josh a lot of comfort before he had died. Hearing threats against Dr. Bonnet encouraged Raoul to take a risk, and he paused for a moment, eavesdropping outside the room.

Frederico glared at the third man with a bored expression and said harshly, “Shut up, choir boy. No time for emotions. They get in the way of business and cause mistakes. No mistakes, you hear?” The gangster’s voice had become low and threatening as he glared at the ordinary man. “You make a mistake, you pay.”

The ordinary man, frantic, stared at him. The evil one with the ponytail simply nodded his head, said “Salute” and raised his cup in a toast.

Rico continued to glare at the ordinary man and said “Get it choir boy, no mistakes. You know what to do.”

The ordinary man nodded.

Raoul returned to the serving area, his heart thudding heavily in his chest.

                                   Chapter 2

“You’ve got to handle this, dammit, Alex. You do treat Robert Bonnet differently from the other staff physicians. This is the third complaint we’ve received against him in less than six months. Something must be done. That, as lawyer for this medical center, is your responsibility.”

Alexandra Lee Destephano sat on the edge of the sofa as she listened to her boss rant and rage. Don Montgomery was the chief executive officer at Crescent City Medical Center. Dissociating herself from his tirade, she glanced around the executive office. The office was stiff, formal, and uncomfortable and the décor mirrored the pretentious nature of Crescent City Medical Center’s haughty CEO. If fact, there was a likeness between the man and the office. Don Montgomery was tall and stiff in his Versace suit and Louis Vuitton watch. His thinning brown hair framed his cold unsmiling, face.

Alex likened her boss to a fish, but she was brought back to reality as he closed the distance between them and entered her personal space. Alex rose from the sofa and backed away from him. Overlooking the sarcasm in her boss’s voice, she prayed for patience and remembered the advice of her maternal grandmother, Kathryn Rosseau Lee of Virginia. Alex struggled for control and responded, “Why don’t we take a few minutes to review these claims and see if we do have anything serious against the hospital?  I am not convinced that we do.” Alex watched the frown flicker across Don’s impassive face.

The CEO stood up, walked to his office door, and opened it. “I don’t have time and that is not my job. I’m up to my ass in Obama Care bull shit regulations that are going to cost us millions, absolute millions, and I don’t have time to discuss your ex-husband’s inability to practice safe medicine. If you’re going to play ball with the big boys, you’ll just have to figure out how or get out.”

Alex could feel anger seeping through her brain and tried hard not to roll her eyes as Don continued his self-aggrandizing, “Don’t forget that I run this hospital. The financial success, image and future of this place are my responsibility. I have to second guess our competition and keep our market edge. No one here has any of the skills needed to assist me. Weren’t for my leadership, the board of trustees would have voted for that Health Trust merger six months ago.”

Alex was sick to death of Don’s proclaimed “Savior Behavior” and wondered if he lived in a vacuum. She doubted he realized the efforts of the physicians, staff, and volunteers were part of the success of the world-class and prestigious Crescent City Medical Center. Don consistently took credit for all accomplishments at CCMC and cast blame on others when things went wrong. She sighed as the CEO continued eulogizing himself.

“If I didn’t have a handle on internal and external sabotage we encounter daily, we’d be history. Only strong hospitals and medical centers with strong leadership will survive these times, but I can’t do it all.” Don paused his sermon for a moment and then shook his finger in her face.

“Now, take care of this problem immediately, dammit. I expect a report from you within twenty-four hours about how you’re going to handle the malpractice claims against Robert Bonnet.”

Alex was angry at the CEO’s disrespect and patronizing superiority but held her temper. “I’ll meet with Dr. Bonnet and the staff involved this week.”

As she left the office, her self-control barely intact, Alex wondered how many executives she was going to have to train. Don Montgomery was already the second CEO in her two-year tenure as in-house legal counsel for Crescent City Medical Center. She was beginning to wonder if she’d be able to stand it for another two years. Alex constantly wondered if she’d made the right decision in moving to New Orleans to practice hospital law. In all honesty, she wondered did she treat Robert Bonnet, her ex-husband, differently from other CCMC physicians. Sometimes feelings of uncertainty and guilt clouded her mind; she hoped it didn’t cloud her professional judgment as well. Alex’s thoughts returned to Robert as she left the executive offices and headed toward her own, continuing to think about Robert along the way.

Robert Henri Bonnet, M.D., was the chief of surgery at CCMC and a favored son of New Orleans. Alex knew that Robert was a skillful physician. They’d met over ten years ago at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, when Robert was a resident in general surgery, and she was a doctoral student in clinical nursing. They dated less than a year before they married in a very small but circumspect ceremony at the UVA Chapel on the Lawn. Their union melded two of the most powerful families in the South — the aristocratic Bonnets’ of Louisiana and the powerful Lees’ of Virginia.

Her musings led her through the opulent atrium of the world-famous hospital into the Hospital Café where she ordered a Latte and continued to think about her failed marriage. The marriage to Robert had been perfect in the early years, and she still wondered when things had gone wrong. In truth, Alex rarely saw Robert at CCMC and knew little about his personal life. She was curious about Don’s angst towards Robert. Her intuition suggested that something was involved but she wasn’t sure what it was.

Alex reflected on her meeting with Don as she slowly sipped her coffee. Other physicians at CCMC presented greater legal risks than Robert. For instance, her greatest concern was the hospital’s internationally famous vascular surgeon who allowed his physician’s assistant to perform complex aspects of cardiac surgery. Another concern centered on CCMC’s nationally known cancer physician whom Alex suspected of practicing active euthanasia. She considered these physicians much more dangerous than a few complaints about Robert.

Alex had considered her former relationship with Robert prior to accepting employment at CCMC. Their divorce had been final for four years, and their parting had been amicable. Much of their difficulty had centered on Alex’s decision to go to law school and postpone having children until she established a law practice. Robert, a product of a traditional home, didn’t like the idea of a professional wife who worked outside the home. Over the duration of their marriage, their individual lives took separate paths — Robert’s in medicine and Alex’s in law.  The decision to end the marriage was mutual although Alex believed two miscarriages, during her third year of law school, were the major reason Robert divorced her. Robert had wanted her to quit school at the onset of the second pregnancy, but Alex had refused, noting that she was healthy and too close to graduation. Robert had become extremely depressed at the loss of the second child and declared they’d grown too far apart to continue their marriage. He had moved out of their home shortly afterward and filed for divorce.

She’d been hurt by the separation and divorce but knew it would have been difficult to build a life with Robert. After the divorce and her graduation from UVA law school, she’d accepted an offer from a chain of Catholic hospitals in Houston.

Alex’s tenure with the Catholic hospital group had provided her with experience and practice. Her nursing background added considerable depth to her ability to determine high risk and analyze potential malpractice cases.

Alex continued to mull over Don’s curious request as she looked around the glass atrium. Why did Montgomery want her to fix Robert? Her intuition nagged at her and suggested there was more than was apparent in the CEO’s behavior. She made a mental note to call Robert and speak with him soon.

As Alex entered her office suite, she noted that her secretary was late. Just as she finished checking email, her striking blonde-headed bomb shell Cajun secretary, Bridgett, almost six feet tall in red spiked heels, knocked on her door and came in.

“Happy Monday, Alex,” Bridgett sang. “We’ve got a new unbelievable complaint for the book. You’re gonna love it.”

Alex looked up and smiled as she waited patiently waited for Bridgett to continue her story.

Bridgett combed her long blonde hair back with her fingers and grinned. “Well, patient’s probably a nut bunny, but then what’s new?? Anyway, for the purposes of our book, she’s got a great story.”

Bridgett was dancing with excitement, dying to tell Alex about the new patient complaint. Her blue eyes sparked with the anticipation of her newest adventure in the legal advisor’s office. Bridgett loved her job, and she was good at it. She could sell ice to Eskimos in December and had prevented many lawsuits at CCMC simply by listening and being supportive of families in crises.

Alex laughed. “Is it better than the guy who came in for the penile enlargement but refused to wear his weights?”

Bridgett burst into renewed laughter again. “Unbelievable. Yeah, that thing never did work, did it? The surgery would’ve worked if he’d worn his weights, right? I mean, you gotta pull that old thing up and out to make it larger, right?” Bridge dissolved once again into laughter.

Alex shrugged her shoulders and grinned, “Who knows? To be honest, I don’t know much about penile implants, don’t really want to but I do believe that obeying laws of physics would have made the surgery successful.”

Bridgett, still laughing, thumbed through the book as she contemplated her answer. The Crescent City Medical Center book of The Craziest Patients Ever was a compilation of the most colorful, unusual and creative patient complaints known to the medical center. The addition of a new entry to the coveted notebook was a spectacular event made known only to a few individuals. Favorite entries to date included complaints from the penis man, another man who’d forgotten he’d agreed to have his foot amputated and complained later when he found it was missing, and the woman who had committed her husband to The Pavilion, CCMC’s psychiatric facility, and later sued the hospital for negligence after she signed him out against medical advice. And of course, there was the New Orleans Voodoo Queen who swore that the hospital had “taken” her magical powers after surgery. The suit had still not been dismissed and was being handled in the city court.

Bridgett continued to string Alex along, not telling her the new story until Alex erupted into a fix of impatience. “Tell me. Don’t keep me waiting.”

Bridgett hesitated a few more seconds. Finally she began,

”Well this one is straight out of the Emergency Department…”

“Yeah and….hurry up! You never know when we’re gonna be interrupted around here,” Alex said, as she scanned the outer office furtively.

“Well,” Bridgett continued, “This man came into the ED and told the admitting clerk that he had to see a doctor right away because he couldn’t talk…”

“Who was taking for him?”

“He was talking for himself.”

Alex stared at Bridgett uncomprehending. “I don’t get this. What am I missing? How could he not talk if he was talking?”

“That’s probably a good question. Well, I guess the clerk didn’t even pick up on it and sent him back him to see a doctor. Then they called in a throat specialist.”

“Terrific,” Alex said sarcastically, shaking her head and smiling. “We really have a bunch of rocket scientist clerks over there, don’t we?”

“Yep,” Bridgett replied, “but there is no new news there.”

Alex nodded agreement, “Then what?”

“He saw a doctor, some new guy to the CCMC ED who kept insisting to the patient that he could talk until the patient just sort of went bonkers, screaming and yelling and holding his head.”

“And then..?”

“The doctor left him alone and went out front, raging at the ED admitting clerks and then went to order a psych consult. About that time, the new throat surgeon came in and not knowing, saw the patient. Then a short time later the nurses heard a bunch of screaming and the sounds of stuff breaking coming from the guy’s room. When they went to check, the patient had broken all the IV bottles and equipment he could find, pulled all of the equipment out of the wall and jumped up on the wall-mounted TV and swung back and forth on the TV while it was still on the wall. The Price is Right was on.”

Alex looked at Bridgett, dumbfounded at the new story and at people in general. “What’d did the nurses do?”

“Called security but before they could get there, the man jumped down from swinging on the TV and ran out of the ED into the lobby where he turned all of the green plants over on the new oriental carpeting. If that wasn’t enough, he turned the water fountain machine upside down on the carpet making an enormous mud slide.”

Alex covered her mouth with her hand, “OMG, Don’s gonna have a shit fit. He just had those carpets installed…”

“You haven’t heard the end of it yet, Alex.”

Alex stared at her secretary, her eyes huge, “What else?”

Bridgett was now reporting at full capacity, her long red nails clicking against the desk. “Well, he pulled down all of the framed art in the foyer too and smashed all of the glass all over the marble floor.” Once again Bridgett dissolved into peals of laughter. “I heard Don almost had a heart attack when they called him.”

“Wow. I bet he just about pooped his pants,” thinking this must have occurred just after she had met with him.

“Probably. Anyway, the guy was apparently acting pretty crazy and people were afraid of him and ran away. When the area was clear, he ran over to the coffee kiosk and turned all of that over too. The newly opened marble foyer now looks like a black, gritty hell.”

“And the art collection is smashed to smithereens. Good Lord, how long did it take CCMC security to get there?”

“All of this happened very quickly, probably 3 or 4 minutes at tops. The guy was fast! The staff is calling him the “Monkey Man” based on his ability to swing from the TV in the ED. He’s also pretty good at slinging coffee and art.” Bridgett was laughing so hard her big blonde curls were dancing and tears and mascara were streaming from her eyes. “We’ve got some great pictures from cell phones and digitals. Don is going to have a shit-fit.”

“You got that right, if he hasn’t already.” The look of disbelief on Alex’s face was mingled with humor. “Pretty incredible. He spent millions on that renovation.”

Bridgett looked at Alex sideways. “Well, serves him right. Maybe he should spend that money on his staff and patients.”

Alex nodded and asked, “Does Monkey Man have a regular doctor?”

Bridgett looked at Alex sheepishly, “Yep, Dr. Bonnet.”

Alex raised her eyebrows and said sarcastically, “Huh, oh great. But why? Robert’s a surgeon. Why would he have a medical patient? Well, I need to see him anyway.”

“I think the guy is a charity case, from the clinic where Dr. Bonnet volunteers. Al,” Bridgett began and then hesitated for a moment, “There are a lot of rumors about Dr. Bonnet among the nurses and the administrators. I know people aren’t comfortable talking with you about him since he’s your ex and all….”

“What kind of rumors?” Alex’s voice was sharp, her former good mood gone. She knew Bridgett had good connections on the grapevine, particularly from her twin sister, Angela, a nurse in the operating room.

“Just that he’s been irritable and unpredictable lately, and some of the nurses think he’s been drinking when he makes rounds.” Bridgett looked at Alex’s face and was instantly sorry for repeating the rumor.

Alex’s face darkened. “That’s news to me. Keep me posted about our new complaint. Alex jerked her head toward the door, “I guess I better get to this pile of work.” She tried to sound noncommittal, but Bridge could tell she was concerned.

Bridgett walked towards the outpatient surgery department and thought about the ongoing battles between Alex and Don Montgomery. Bridgett couldn’t understand how someone couldn’t get along with Alex. Alex was great, a regular person. She was patient and kind and a bunch of fun.  Part of Alex’s beauty was she didn’t know she was beautiful. Besides that, she was really nice, a real down to earth person. Not snotty like that uppity female lawyer before her.

She hoped she hadn’t upset Alex. She felt a pang of guilt for talking to Alex about Dr. B. She doubted Alex even thought of herself as exceptional. She never seemed to notice how people looked at her when she walked into a room. If anything, Bridgett thought, her boss seemed a little shy and unsure of herself. Guess it takes a long time to get over a bad marriage.

Besides, losing Dr. Bonnet would be hard. He was so good-looking and kind, a real hunk. Her cousin told her he ran a free surgery clinic in the bayou. A couple months ago her cousin told her he’d saved the arm of a little boy who had been bitten by an alligator. He didn’t even charge the family. He was really good to the Cajun community. Bridgett flipped her blonde hair back and decided she didn’t believe the rumors about the handsome Dr. Bonnet.

After Bridgett left, Alex sat at her desk and pondered her secretary’s remarks about Robert. She valued her rapport with the nursing staff and was pleased that they, in spite of her law degree, still perceived her as one of them. Her relationship with them had come in handy more than once.

Alex reflected back to the times Robert had drunk more than she thought he should. She’d attributed it to the pressures of hospital life and hard work, although there were a few times when their own personal difficulties had seemed to cause bouts of heavy drinking, particularly after the miscarriages. She specifically recalled an episode concerning her refusal to quit school. It depressed her a bit to hear the rumors. Hope they’re just rumors, she said to herself. I don’t need this.

Several hours later Alex was immersed in a slip and fall case, when Bridgett buzzed her to say that Dr. Bonnet wanted to see her. Within moments Robert was in her office.

“Alex, how good to see you. How are things going?”

Alex looked up as she felt a blush creeping up her neck. At 42, Robert was an astonishingly attractive man. He was tall with sandy blonde hair and had the slight build of the New Orleans French population. His voice was deep and soft with a subtle Creole accent. His eyes were brown and expressive, kind eyes, she had always thought. Alex immediately stood and offered her hand. “Robert, how good to see you. It’s been a while.” Alex was stunned by her formality.

Robert’s eyes appraised Alex critically. “It has. This hospital is so big; months go by before I see many of my colleagues. Alex, you look beautiful! New Orleans agrees with you. Tell me about your family. How are Grand and the Congressman? I read in the morning paper that he’s here in New Orleans. Business?”

Alex felt a flush come over her again and she could feel the warmth as it moved all the way up and down her body. I can’t believe that I’m feeling like this about seeing him. I must look like a teeny bopper to him. She was breathless and a little nervous as she responded. “Yes, Granddad’s here. Some big political pow-wow, coalition building thing with Governor Raccine. Grandmother’s doing fine. She broke her hip last September, riding her horse. Fortunately, her fall didn’t slow her down much. Still rides every day. She’s still managing the family, the Washington house, and the horse farm.”

In truth, Alex’s grandmother, Kathryn Lee, was the strongest force in her life. Unlike her shy, reclusive daughter, she had an interminable strength, yet she was gracious and pragmatic. She had the patience of a saint and the soul of an angel. Grand had served as a role model for Alex all of her life and much of Alex’s strength of character and integrity had been inherited from Kathryn. Her grandfather often joked that Alex had inherited her grandmother’s bad points as well. Congressman Lee insisted that both women were the most stubborn and willful women on earth.

Robert smiled and said, “I miss seeing her. She’s quite the lady. How’s the Congressman?”

“The same. You know him — still serving the conservative people of Virginia. He’s actively drafting crime, drug, and immigration legislation. He’s totally opposed to Obama Care and voted against it. He’s convinced that it is going to ruin healthcare as we know it in this country. And, of course, he has his own ideas about health reform — and they don’t, as I’m sure you can imagine, complement those of the present administration.”

“I can imagine,” Robert replied wryly. “I’d think our views probably wouldn’t match but would serve for some lively conversation. I miss seeing them. You seen your grandfather yet?”

“No. He’s busy tonight. We’re planning to get together tomorrow afternoon. He’s taking the red-eye back to Virginia tomorrow night.”

“Give him my best. Get to the farm much?”

Alex nodded as her blue eyes took on a faraway look as she visualized her grandparents’ farm, “Wyndley,” located half-way between Richmond and Washington D.C. in Hanover County, Virginia. After her parents had divorced when she was three years old, Alex had spent most of her childhood at Wyndley with her grandparents and her reclusive mother.

“No, I’m hoping to get up for a long weekend in April or May. Virginia’s beautiful in the spring and Grand just purchased a new Arabian brood mare. Wyndley’s becoming a well-known thoroughbred farm. I need to get back there more often. It grounds me and helps me sort through things and get them into perspective.”

Robert nodded in understanding. “Yeah, I understand that. That’s why I often go over to my summer home in Gulf Shores. I went last weekend and, as a matter of fact, I’m going this weekend for that very reason to escape Mardi Gras. The ocean, sun, and a few nights at the Floribama bar will allow me to relax.”

Alex’s thoughts immediately returned to the rumors of Robert’s drinking. They’d spent many evenings “wasting away “in Gulf Shores, Alabama at the coveted Floribama Lounge, the legendary home of Jimmy Buffet where very few people left alert. Of course, the Floribama was gone now, washed away by Hurricane Katrina. “Be careful.”

“Will do. By the way, Don Montgomery said you wanted to see me. What’s up?”

Alex looked at him sharply, her paranoia kicking in. “That why you’re here? When did you see Don?” Alex was suspicious.

“Last week at a medical staff meeting.  He mentioned on the way out you wanted to see me. You never called, and today my morning OR schedule got canceled, so I just came by on the chance you’d be in.

Alex tingled with anger, and then suspicion set in. She felt ambushed.

“Did Don give you any idea about why we needed to meet?” Alex’s voice was distrustful.

Robert picked up on the suspicious edge to Alex’s voice. “No. Why? What’s going on?”

Noting the flush in her check, his voice raised, “What! Alex, no games. We go back too far to play games with each other.” His voice had a ring of concern in it.

Alex’s intent was to be professional, and she chose her words carefully. “Don’s concerned because we’ve received three complaints about you in less than six months. One will end up as a malpractice action. He thinks three complaints are too many for that period of time. Besides, Don really likes to micro-manage,” she added quickly, shrugging her shoulders.

Robert ignored Alex’s dig at Don Montgomery. He scowled at her and replied, his voice was reserved and formal. “I want to be clear here. I assume the action you’re speaking of is the one where the elderly gentlemen with cancer developed a post-operative infection and died following colon surgery.”

Alex nodded and Robert continued, “I warned the patient, the family, and the oncologist of this risk. He was a poor candidate because of his battered immune system; he was a sitting duck for a massive infection.” Robert stopped for a moment and reflected. He shook his head sadly as he thought about the man’s prolonged and painful death. “I’m not the only physician named. You should be able to defend that claim. After all, you are a UVA lawyer! What else?”

Alex flinched at Robert’s sarcasm, and her own stress began to increase as she felt her heartbeat pick up. “Let me pull the files. I can’t recall the other two off the top of my head.” As she left her office, her gut tightened and the nausea began to mount. She had a sick feeling. Something’s going on, she thought. What the hell is going on? He’s freaked. This isn’t the confidant, brilliant and self-assured surgeon I used to know. Alex took several minutes to compose herself and review the files before returning to her office.

Robert paced in Alex’s office. As he waited for her to return, he could feel his own anxiety rising. He couldn’t understand Montgomery’s behavior towards him either, and, combined with the other things that were happening, he was feeling unnerved. He was constantly getting bumped from the OR schedule for no good reason. Several people he’d worked with for years were acting strangely, some were actually avoiding him, and he’d been greeted frostily this morning by another surgeon. Something was definitely stewing. But what? Robert shook his head but continued to think as he felt a darkness descend upon him.

Alex found Robert deep in thought when she returned. He looked at her expectantly, his voice reserved as he addressed her, “Well, what are they?”

Alex turned papers in the file. “In November you did an abdominalplasty and a breast augmentation on Elaine Morial Logan. Now she’s complained that her new belly button’s disfigured, and her breasts are too large. She’s also complained that you were short-tempered and angry with her when she came in for her follow-up visit. Several weeks ago her lawyer called and threatened a malpractice action because his client maintains she never knew that her ‘new’ breasts were silicon and could possibly cause cancer.”

Robert face flushed with anger. “That’s a pile of crap. What bullshit.  We discussed the silicon controversy in great detail. Elaine Logan will never be satisfied with herself or her body. I didn’t want to do the surgery anyway because I knew there’d be trouble, and her psychiatrist, Dr. Demonde, agreed with me. All of this is noted in the medical record.” Robert gestured angrily towards the file on Alex’s desk.

“Why’d you do the surgery, Robert?” Alex gave him a curious look. She saw another flash of impatience as he responded, his voice disgusted and terse.

“It was political. I got a bunch of pressure from the hospital diversity committee. Apparently, she complained to some of the black physicians that I refused to operate on her because she was black. Of course that’s BS as well. Consequently, the committee and Don insisted, pressured me to do the surgery. They wanted to avoid any negative publicity from the Morial Logan family.”

Alex rolled her eyes, but she believed Robert’s story. She continued, “Well, according to Don, Elaine Morial Logan is causing us considerable negative publicity in the black community. I don’t need to remind you of her social standing or her network in New Orleans.”

“Hell yes, I know their standing. I am from here, remember?”

Alex grimaced at his response. “Robert, be careful what you say. This woman and her family are potentially dangerous to us, both politically and economically. Her husband represents St. Bernard’s Parish in the legislature. We’ve trying to get approval to build a new facility there. If her brother succeeds in his bid for mayor, CCMC will need him as a friend. We don’t need the Morial and Logan families as enemies.”

Robert shrugged it off, resigned, “Okay, Alex. Sorry. I still think you should be able to defend this. Where’s the complaint now?”

“Well, it comes before the hospital risk and medical malpractice committee in two weeks. If Logan files, we’ll settle out of court.”

“That’s bull-shit. You can’t be serious. I’ve done nothing wrong.” Robert, clearly angry, stopped for a moment. “If anything, I exercised extreme prudence by not even wanting to operate on this lady. I knew she was a problem. As far as I’m concerned, administration got me into this. They can damn well get me out. It’s a set-up, and I’m furious about it. That’s the last time I’ll be their damn patsy. What else?” Anger was clear in Robert’s voice as he slammed his fist on the table.

“The other complaint is an internal one lodged by several operating room nurses and techs who, at this point, must remain anonymous. They complained your behavior in the operating room is erratic and unsafe and that you are always short-tempered.”

“This is preposterous.  I have great rapport and working relationships with the OR staff. Who filed this? I don’t believe it.” Robert’s face was suffused with anger.

“Robert, you know I can’t tell you.”

“Tell me what you can, please.” He gave her his pitiful look she remembered from way back. She relented some.

“Well, mainly they complained of emotional and profane outbursts when you couldn’t schedule your surgeries to meet your time constraints. You exhibited some, and I quote, ‘acting out’ behaviors. They also report that you yelled at them when a sterile field was set up incorrectly.”

“Hell, yes, I was angry when they set the sterile field incorrectly the third time. That idiot, Bette Farve, keeps hiring these incompetent OR techs instead of RNs. Setting up the sterile field incorrectly delayed the surgery for forty-five minutes. Has anybody calculated what that cost the hospital in lost time and money? Besides, the patient had an additional forty-five minutes of anesthesia he didn’t need — that could have caused problems for him and us.” Robert shook his head disgustedly. “What’s the unsafe practice complaint?”

“It’s unclear. Apparently one of your patients died during surgery and one OR staff member maintains the reason he died was because you incorrectly hooked him up to the heart-lung pump.” Alex set the file down and looked hard at Robert.

His mouth flopped open. He was shocked. “That’s absurd. I don’t even do that, the cardiac techs do.”

“This OR staffer says you rarely, if ever, check the settings on the pump. That’s the unsafe practice complaint.”

“Dammit, that’s their job. They’re licensed to do it.” Robert stood and began pacing around Alex’s office. “Something’s wrong here. This is a witch hunt. Has to be. I don’t understand it. I need to go, Alex, and think these things over. I’ll talk to you later.”

As Robert left her office, all his attention was focused on the barrage of complaints against him. He didn’t see the tall dark-haired man with the swarthy complexion outside of Alex’s office.

Alex decided to pack it in. It had been a really long day.

Chapter 3

Alex walked home from the medical center. She lived in the Riverbend area of the city, less than a mile from the hospital. Crescent City Medical Center was located on Prytania, between St. Charles Avenue and the river, in the shadow of Interstate 10. The location allowed easy access to its hundreds of patrons. Alex’s home was a few blocks off St. Charles and she could, weather permitting, easily walk back and forth. The horrendous New Orleans traffic made walking preferable to driving and the exercise benefits were another boost.

As Alex reached home, she smiled at how well the restoration of her house had turned out. She’d decided to live in the Riverbend area of New Orleans because the neighborhood was convenient to work, and she loved the architecture. She’d purchased a large town house shortly after arriving in New Orleans, and divided it into two apartments, renting the lower flat. The house was built in 1875 and could be easily hailed as “Old New Orleans.” Many of her favorite restaurants and shops were within walking distance.

As Alex reached her front courtyard, she was jarred out of her daydreaming as her cell phone began ringing. Searching for it in her purse, she opened the front door only to note the obviously loud ringing of her house phone. She immediately felt a pang of guilt as she heard the deep voice of Mitch Landry on the other end. She answered the phone and smiled as she heard Mitch’s anxious voice on the other end of the line.

“Alex, you haven’t forgotten our dinner plans have you? I’ve been calling and calling for an hour.”

Alex smiled into the phone. “No, of course not. I’m sorry, I should have called you. I just walked in. It’s been a long day, and, to be completely honest, I’ve been tied up all day. But, I’m starving, ready and willing. What’s the plan?” Her voice was light-hearted.

Mitch checked his watch. “Well, it’s now about six-thirty. Pick you up at eight? I’ve reservations at the Cafe Degas for eight-thirty.”

“Sounds great. See you then.”

As Alex hung up the phone, she felt guilty about forgetting her date with Mitch. Most people would die for a male companion like him. He was handsome, intelligent and well-connected. As an architectural historian and preservation consultant, he’d never be wealthy, but money seemed unimportant to him. Mitch was a pleasant escape from her day-to-day grind at the hospital and offered refreshing company. Besides, Alex smiled to herself, Mitch was very sexy, and she really liked him.

Her spirits brightened as she showered, dressed for her dinner date, and found herself mentally comparing Mitch with Robert. They were entirely different, she thought, in appearance and personality. Mitch was tall and dark with a muscular build. Robert was of slighter stature with much lighter coloring. Both men had a fervent passion for their work and both men were self-absorbed in their careers.

This is ridiculous, she chided herself. Why should I compare these two? My marriage to Robert has been over for years. It’s crazy for me to even be thinking this way. Robert’s completely out of my life. But, in all honesty, Alex had to wonder about her reaction to him today in her office.  She heard the door bell ringing and saw Mitch standing between the two Grecian Columns in her courtyard. She answered the door, her heart beating rapidly.

Mitch looked devastatingly handsome as he stood in the door frame. He was perfect, too perfect Alex sometimes thought. He had on dark trousers and a white shirt open at the neck. He was in excellent physical shape and Alex knew he worked out most days. His wavy dark hair was combed back from his face. He was tall, dark, handsome and exciting.

Alex’s heart began beating a little faster at the sight of him. Once again she wondered why Mitch, whom she’d been seeing exclusively for over four months, was reticent to start a physical relationship with her. At first, Alex had been relieved that Mitch hadn’t pressured her into intimacy. Yet, several times she’d found she feeling vulnerable and rejected at the end of the evening. It was probably residual feelings that stemmed from her father’s and Robert’s rejections of her.  More recently, Mitch seemed to be moving towards intimacy again, although his usually warm and inviting conversation often became stilted and aloof at the close of the evening.

Mitch’s eyes lit up at the sight of Alex, and he appraised her admiringly. “You look great… That teal color of your dress sets off your eyes, and I like your hair down. You look so carefree and comfortable.” Mitch groped for the proper words.

“I know, relaxed and casual. Bridgett tells me the same thing. I guess I must look like an old maid at the hospital. To quote my idiotic boss, ‘I have to dance with the big boys, so appearance is important.'” Alex paused for a moment and inhaled the fragrance of the spring flowers. “These flowers are beautiful. How about a glass of wine?”

“Sure. I told Andre at the Cafe we may be a little late.  Do you have any of that Virginia Chardonnay we enjoy so much? I’m pretty impressed with Virginia wine.”

“The Chardonnay is from Barboursville Vineyards, near my grandparents’ farm. Help yourself. I also have some Brie, heated with honey and almonds, on the coffee table in the living room. I’ll be in as soon as I arrange these flowers.”

Mitch poured two glasses of the Chardonnay in Alex’s wine glasses and gazed appreciably around her living room. The furnishings were impeccably beautiful, simple, and elegant, just like Alex. It’s funny how people reflect their homes, Mitch mused, as he studied the lovely walnut library cabinet on the wall opposite the sofa. As his eyes continued to survey the room, Mitch again noted the architectural design of the flat. The heavily carved mantels and decorative woodwork in the living and dining rooms were left natural, and pale blue silk wallpaper pulled together the pastels in the living room.

Alex returned with the fresh flowers in a cut-glass vase which she placed on the dining room table. She seated herself on the sofa next to Mitch.  After reaching for her wine and taking a sip, she asked, “How’s your newest project going? Did you get your historical foundation funding for the Acadia Village Project?”

Mitch’s face showed the animation he felt for his newest project. He’d been chosen to plan the preservation and restoration of a small settlement of historical structures in southwest Louisiana. He was delighted at the opportunity to finally pursue rural preservation. Since most of his work had been done in the French Quarter and in the Garden District, the opportunity to work on rural preservation would showcase his knowledge and ability in the areas of Creole and Arcadian architecture.

Mitch smiled and answered her question. “Yes. It’s great. Next week I begin the Arcadian Village in Lafayette. Would you like to visit the project? It’s a nineteenth-century Cajun settlement and it represents rural Louisiana.” He continued, “Let’s plan a weekend soon so you see the work as it unfolds.” He looked at his watch.

Alex warmed at the possibility of a field trip to Mitch’s architectural projects. “So I can have a full appreciation of your talents,” Alex teased. “I would love to. When can we go?”

“Soon, but I haven’t done anything yet.” Mitch glanced again at his watch and said, “We had better get going. We don’t want to keep Andre waiting too long. I’d hate to lose our table.”

As they left her apartment and walked toward Mitch’s car, Alex again savored the New Orleans night, and the fragrance of lilac and wisteria created an aura of romance. As Alex slipped her hand into Mitch’s, she felt him stiffen slightly. She felt rebuffed and wondered why he continued to see her. He doesn’t seem to have any sexual interest in me, so what’s this all about, she thought to herself. She didn’t understand his reticence. They seemed to go well together and had similar interests. He did seem to care for her and was warm and generous with his time and his gifts.  Besides, she liked him better than any male companion she’d had since her divorce. That made it even harder to accept.

The ambiance at the Cafe Degas was perfect. Like many fine restaurants in New Orleans, it had an eclectic decor. There were no side walls, only louvered shutters in case of extreme cold or rain. The evening was almost warm enough for al fresco dining, but Mitch, fearing the night would turn cool, ushered Alex to a table in the corner.

The cuisine at the cafe was excellent. After listening to the specials, Alex choose beef and Mitch selected crepes.

Their dinner conversation revolved around various topics.

“Your grandfather’s in town. Read about it this morning in the paper. How’s he doing?”

“Great. I talked with him earlier. He has a meeting tonight and he’s leaving late tomorrow. We’re having drinks tomorrow afternoon.”

“Are he and your grandmother staying with you?”

“My grandmother isn’t here. He’s alone and staying at Palm Court. It’s a quick trip. Some political brouhaha, I’m sure. He’s especially good at those.” Alex smiled, thinking of Adam Lee’s particular talent of making people see things his way. “My grandmother swears the Congressman could make a leopard change his spots if given enough time.”

Mitch picked up on her smile. “You’re close to them, aren’t you? Any chance I’ll ever get to meet him?”

Alex, surprised, was taken back. “Umm,no. I doubt it, at least not this visit. He’s tight for time. I’ll introduce you to both of them later. They’ll be here in June for another meeting.” She could feel a warm flush come over her face. She felt a little guilty about denying him the chance to meet her grandfather. She hoped Mitch wasn’t put off by her response.

Recognizing her embarrassment, Mitch reached for her hand. “Sounds good to me. You ready for the Extravaganza Saturday night?”

Mitch had invited her to the costumed ball sponsored by the Krewe of Endymion. The Endymion Extravaganza was this weekend and was the largest and most lavish ball in New Orleans.

Alex had been anticipating the ball for weeks. She’d gone overboard in having Yvonne LaFleur design a sumptuous gown for her, justifying the purchase with the idea she could wear it again in a few years. Alex was hoping the Endymion Extravaganza would be the beginning of an intimate relationship between her and Mitch. They’d decided to stay overnight at the Fairmount Hotel, the night of the ball, and had plans to spend the weekend in the Quarter. She smiled in anticipation.

“Alex, am I boring you? What are you smiling about? You’re in another world.” Mitch’s eyes were warm over the candlelight.

Alex was immediately apologetic. “Sorry. I was thinking about the Extravaganza and how much fun we’re going to have. I’m looking forward to it. What were you saying, Mitch?”

“Nothing important. How about some cafe au lait and cheese cake? Buy the whole thing and you can take it home. I know how much you love it. It’ll be the perfect ending to our meal.” Alex nodded in agreement.

“How are things going at the hospital? You seem a little distracted tonight?”

“Busy. Health care’s changing everywhere, and we are trying to prepare for Obama Care, which none of us truly understands. Nobody understands the health care bill. Not even Obama. The legislation is over 1,000 pages! There are all kinds of fears and concerns over health reform and the whole health care environment is fiercely competitive and focused on cheap care but good results.  I know it’s going to cost us millions and we will see significant job losses in health care providers, especially nurses, because reimbursement will decline. Most small to medium size hospitals are estimated to lose at least a million dollars a year in Medicare reimbursements.”

    Alex noticed that Mitch was paying rapt attention and continued, “Obama Care includes $575 billion in cuts to Medicare to pay for a Medicaid expansion to provide health care for the poor, but these cuts are going to hurt those of us in acute care. The elderly are our most expensive and costly patient population. It’s real competitive here, more than in most places, or at least that’s what I hear from my colleagues. Look what’s happened here in the past few weeks. American Hospital Corporation bought 80 percent of Tulane for $180 million. Then, they immediately merged with Health Quest and formed another huge conglomerate. Health Trust, as it’s known, now owns twenty-five hospitals in Louisiana. It’s going to be difficult for smaller hospitals to compete with these big boys.”

     Alex paused for a second, thinking to herself and continued, “Health Trust even has international holdings, and, when you factor national health insurance programs into it, the times will be dangerous at best and the outcomes and quality of care uncertain, mostly like substandard to outcomes now. These huge conglomerates are buying up hospitals in Europe, specifically in England and Switzerland, and I understand they’re even negotiating with hospitals in South America.  Makes you wonder who’ll still be in business in a few years with the fierce competition. It’s a turbulent time for healthcare.”

Mitch was listening closely and responded, “How many hospitals can they buy without it being a monopoly?”

Alex looked speculative. “All but one, I suppose. I’m not as worried about monopolies as I am about legal risks and cost-cutting to save money on patient care. Hospitals are struggling to survive.  These mergers and buy-outs affect a hospital’s credibility and image. Obama Care is going to make things even harder and more expensive. Look what’s happened recently in Florida and in Boston, especially the hospital that gave 10 times the amount of chemotherapy drugs and killed the patient. These errors are tragic and have long term consequences. It’ll take those hospitals years to recover from the negative publicity.”

“Yeah. You would think a cancer center would know how to calculate the correct chemotherapy medicine. Those patients’ families were really angry and the press had a field day with it.  People pick hospitals because of their doctors, don’t they?”

“Used to, but now they have to go where their insurance company will pay. Big business and insurance companies run health care now. They control health care and who gets it. Obama Care will only make it worse and more costly.  Remember when hospitals first started advertising and using slogans like, ‘the best care in town’ or ‘caring made visible’ or ‘the finest doctors in the country?'” Mitch nodded, and Alex continued.

“These slogans have come back to haunt us, becoming the basis for malpractice suits. Sometimes patients don’t believe they got the best care or the finest doctors.”

“Are these claims defensible?”

“Many are, some aren’t, depending on the facts of the case. Information systems make it possible for patients to search data bases kept on health care practitioners. For instance, a patient can find out whether a practitioner has ever been sued.”

“Sounds like the medical information explosion to me. Pretty scary for doctors and nurses, I would imagine.”

“It is. Patients can even learn how much money the physician earns. That adds even more fuel to the fires of malpractice actions. It’s all part of the consumer rights movement.” Alex was pensive as she stared into her water glass.

“You mean that if patients experience bad results from surgery or medical treatment, they can do their own research to build a malpractice claim?” Mitch looked surprised.

“Sure. Even more disturbing than the actual malpractice actions is the amount of publicity they receive, and how that publicity impacts the image and reputation of a hospital. I predict those hospitals in Boston and Florida will lose millions in revenues in the next couple of years. Times are tough. Many smaller and less powerful hospitals will be bought and closed by big corporations to decrease competition and costs. Others’ll be forced out of business.  We’re already seeing that in New Orleans.”

Mitch set his coffee cup down and pondered her remarks. “Many people think physicians make too much money anyway.” He looked at Alex sheepishly. “Of course, people say the same thing about lawyers. You think the Obama Care will remedy any of these problems?”

Alex was quick to reply. “Nope. It will make it worse. CCMC is currently in pretty good shape financially because of our large international population. They represent a significant portion of our revenues.”

“How do you think CCMC will do in the long run? You think anyone will buy them?”  Mitch looked at her intently.

“Don’t know. Someone tried a few months ago, but our board of trustees voted it down. They’re adamant we remain independent.  I know we’re in for a long haul.” Alex sighed, “I can’t even predict what’ll happen tomorrow. Another huge problem is the loss of Charity Hospital during Katrina. The city and hospital community has been struggling with how to care for Louisiana’s poor, and disenfranchised population. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride, no question about it.”

Mitch stifled a yawn and looked as his watch. “It’s getting late. Best be getting home. I don’t want to keep you out too late.” Mitch stood and helped her with her chair. Then the handsome couple walked hand-in-hand through the balmy New Orleans night.

At her door Mitch tentatively kissed Alex good night. “Call you soon. Sweet dreams.”

“Thanks, Mitch. It was a lovely evening.”  Alex entered her flat and returned to the living room to clear away the wine glasses and cheese tray. After straightening the kitchen, she returned to the living room to close the French doors leading to the roofed balcony. She stepped outside again to enjoy the fragrant New Orleans night.

Once outside, she was surprised when she noticed Mitch on the opposite side of the street talking to a short stocky man with a cigar in him mouth. Strange, she thought to herself. It’s after midnight. I’ll have to ask him who that was. She watched the pair several minutes. After a few minutes the men parted ways, and Mitch headed towards his car.

***

Congressman Adam Patrick Lee sat impatiently in his room at the Palm Court Hotel. For the tenth time, he dialed Alex’s number. No answer. Where in the hell is she, he thought to himself. It’s almost midnight. Damn, I wish she didn’t live here. This city’s full of creeps and perverts. He had hated New Orleans for years, and was convinced that the city had robbed Alex’s mother of her youth and her sanity. He still blamed New Orleans for her final, anguished mental break and the silence she had lived in for over 30 years.

Fucking nasty city, he thought as he impatiently redialed Alex’s home phone. His hand still stung from where he’d cold-cocked some kid trying to pick his pocket

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an excerpt from

Isabel‘s Run
(A Danny Logan Mystery)

by M. D. Grayson

This novel is dedicated

to the children.

Prologue

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

4:45 p.m.

ISABEL DELGADO WAS in trouble. She sneaked a glance out of the corner of her eye as the uniformed security guard approached. She was seated on an iron bench outside the Terraces food court, pretending to be absorbed in a directory brochure of the Alderwood Mall in Lynnwood, Washington. The guard drew closer. Not again, Isabel thought. She fought to remain calm. She’d already been run off earlier in the day by a different guard when she’d been unable to come up with a quick answer as to why she was hanging around in the same area all morning long. That guard threatened to call the police and have her arrested for loitering if he saw her again. Isabel had left in a hurry. She’d completely circled the mall, figuring that the guard wouldn’t wait that long to catch her again. But in the end she had nowhere to go, so now, three hours later, she was back, and another guard was approaching.

Isabel had no desire to push her luck, but she was out of ideas, and she was out of prospects. She’d tried to lay low since the earlier episode while she waited for something to happen, and she’d been pretty successful—no one had even talked to her except for a cute girl with red hair a couple of hours ago who’d said that she, too, was running. But then the girl suddenly left ten minutes later, and Isabel was alone again. Since then: nobody. Which was fine with her. She knew she needed to do something—but she didn’t want to make a mistake. Above all, she didn’t want to be sent back home—couldn’t be sent back home. She’d decided that if she were arrested, she’d lie about who she was so that they couldn’t send her back. Meanwhile, she waited—waited for something to happen.

She used her peripheral vision and concentrated on the new guard. He was younger. If he stopped, maybe he’d be nicer. From twenty-five feet away, she could hear his footsteps as he approached, keys jangling quietly at his side. He whistled softly to himself, the same quiet, absent-minded way her father used to whistle when he came up the walkway to the house at the end of the day. Suddenly, the guard’s radio crackled and came to life, causing him to stop before he reached her. Isabel was startled, but she caught herself—she didn’t look up.

The guard listened and then keyed his microphone. “Unit Two, roger,” he said. “I’ll be there in five.” At least his voice sounded kind.

He resumed his approach. Isabel suppressed a shudder as the man paused when he reached her. She felt him looking at her. Steady, now. She looked up. The guard was tall and nice looking. Isabel thought he had kind eyes.

The guard looked at her for a moment. Finally, he smiled. “Hey there. What’s going on?”

Isabel fought back the urge to panic. She was a quick learner and, after the last encounter, she’d prepared a story. “I’m waiting for my mom.” She trembled inside but she worked hard to keep her voice even as she used the words she’d rehearsed in her mind. “She’s picking me up.”

“That right?” The guard considered this. “If she’s picking you up, how come you’re not waiting down at the benches by the curb?” He paused and looked at her. “Say,” he added. “Aren’t you the girl who we ran off earlier this morning?”

Isabel tensed up and started to panic. She hadn’t expected that particular follow-up question, and she was unprepared. She felt a quick surge of adrenaline. All she could manage for an answer was a quick shake of her head.

The guard studied her for a second—an eternity for Isabel. He pursed his lips, saying nothing, as if weighing whether or not to buy her story. Then, apparently coming to a decision, he reached for his radio. Just as he was about to key his microphone, though, he was interrupted.

“There you are!” Isabel jumped. She turned and saw an attractive young woman in her early twenties walking up the sidewalk, talking to her. Isabel had no idea who she was.

“I got mixed up,” the woman said, smiling brightly as she reached the two. “I thought we were supposed to meet at the front of the mall.” She turned to the guard, who’d frozen for a moment. “It’s okay, officer. She’s with me.” She turned back to Isabel, “C’mon, sweetie. Let’s go inside and grab a drink before we take off.”

Isabel looked at the woman for a moment. She was dressed in a loose, shimmering green knit sweater over a white blouse. She wore tight black slacks and black shoes with heels so tall that Isabel wondered how she could stand up. Her dark brown hair cascaded over her shoulders in loose curls. Even her perfume smelled wonderful. She was one of the most beautiful women Isabel had ever seen. The woman made a small, urgent gesture with her head as if to say “C’mon.”

Isabel felt the guard staring at her, so she made up her mind quickly. “Sure,” she said, standing. “Let’s go.”

The woman smiled and took Isabel’s arm. Together, they left the guard standing on the sidewalk, watching them. They turned and walked through the double doors into the food court. Once inside, the woman said, “C’mon. Let’s sit over here for a minute and talk.” She led Isabel to a nearby table.

The food court at the mall is a large open area of dining tables surrounded by restaurants. There were few shoppers there—the lunchtime crowd had left, and the evening shoppers had yet to arrive. The smells of the food from the different shops instantly reminded Isabel that she was hungry.

“Whew, that was a close one, huh?” the woman said as she scanned the area around their table. She turned back to face Isabel. “I’m Crystal. What’s your name?”

“Isabel.” To say that Isabel was confused would be a big understatement.

Crystal looked around again and then back at Isabel. “I couldn’t help but overhear you talking to the guard, Isabel. It sounded like you might need rescuing. Are you really waiting for your mom?”

Isabel shuttered. “Yes,” she lied. She didn’t know this woman. “She’s coming to pick me up.”

Crystal smiled. “Good.” She studied Isabel intently for several seconds. “Have you been waiting long?”

Isabel couldn’t very well tell Crystal the real story—that she’d spent last night under the cedar tree by the trash bins, remaining out of sight of the roving security guards. Yet, despite her need to be guarded, she thought there was something about this woman that offered an invitation—a glimmer of hope. Something in her eyes and her tone of voice made Isabel think that Crystal might be someone who could help her. She certainly didn’t want to relive the frightening experience of spending the night under the cedar tree again.

Isabel nodded. “A little while.”

Crystal nodded slowly. “Can I buy you a Coke or something? While you wait?”

Isabel figured in the worst case, at least she’d be safe from the security guards for a while. “Okay,” she said. Crystal bought them a couple of drinks from one of the vendors and returned to their table.

The two chatted about nothing in particular—food choices, the way this or that person was dressed, movies. After a few minutes had passed, though, Crystal’s tone suddenly changed, and she became serious. “Can I ask you a real question, Isabel?” she said.

“Yeah.”

Crystal continued to study her. “You’re not really waiting for your mom, are you.”

Isabel tensed up. Crystal had phrased it in the form of a statement, not a question. “Yes, I am,” she protested. “Why do you say that?”

Crystal shrugged. Her eyes bored into Isabel. “Because we’ve been sitting here for oh—twenty minutes or so, and you haven’t looked back at the door even once the whole time. You forgot your story.”

Oh, hell. Isabel was mortified to realize that Crystal was right. She’d been so relieved to have someone to talk to that she’d completely forgotten she’d said she was waiting to be picked up. She tensed up and then started to push away from the table.

“It’s alright,” Crystal said, reaching across and putting her hand on Isabel’s arm. “No need to leave. Don’t worry about it. I’m not the police or security or anything like that.”

Isabel stayed seated but kept her chair pushed back.

Crystal looked at Isabel intently for several moments. “You’re running, aren’t you, sweetheart?”

Isabel fought hard, but in the end, the weight of the last few days got to her, and she couldn’t keep tears from forming in her eyes. She hesitated, and then she nodded.

Crystal produced a tissue and handed it to Isabel. Isabel wiped her eyes and said, “Thanks.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know—running,” Crystal said. “Sometimes, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, know what I mean?”

Isabel nodded.

“Did someone hurt you?”

Isabel studied the table without answering.

Crystal looked at Isabel. It was silent for a minute, and then she said, “I was just like you, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I ran. I had to leave—probably about your age. What are you sixteen? Seventeen?”

“Sixteen,” Isabel said. “Yesterday was my birthday.”

Crystal smiled brightly. “Happy birthday!” Then, just as quick, her smile vanished. “Did you leave on your birthday?”

Isabel nodded, tears starting again.

“That’s dope. That takes guts,” Crystal said. “You should be proud.”

Isabel stared at her, then she looked down. “I had to leave,” she said quietly.

Crystal leaned forward. “Isabel,” she said, “look at me.”

Isabel looked up.

“It’s like I said—I know what you mean. I had two stepbrothers who took turns raping me for six years starting when I was ten years old,” Crystal said. “When you say ‘I had to leave,’ I know exactly what you mean. I had to leave, too.”

Isabel stared at her. “Really?”

“Really. I couldn’t stay another day.” Crystal rolled up the sleeve on her left arm and revealed a series of scars. “See these? I used to cut myself to make the pain go away.” Isabel cringed at the thought. Crystal noticed. “You don’t cut yourself, do you?”

Isabel shook her head. “No.”

“Good girl. A lot of girls do, you know. But it doesn’t work. The little pain’s supposed to make the big pain go away. But it only works for a little while. Then you find out that the big pain’s still there. And to top it off, you’re left with these fucking scars.” She rolled her sleeve back down. She looked at Isabel. “I understand where you’re coming from, Isabel. I was right where you were five years ago.”

It was quiet for a few moments. Then Isabel said, “It’s my stepfather.”

Crystal nodded.

“For more than four years now.”

“Bastard. I’m so sorry, sweetie.”

Isabel nodded.

“I hate how these fuckers think they can do this to us and get away with it.”

Isabel nodded. “You really went through the same thing?” She could hardly believe that this beautiful woman had once experienced a horror similar to her own.

Crystal nodded. “Really. I showed you the scars, didn’t I?” She paused. “At least the scars that show. Most of ’em don’t, you know.”

Isabel looked at her for a second and then said, “What about now? What do you do now?”

Crystal smiled and flipped her long hair back over her shoulder. “I got lucky,” she said. “I met a really great guy. Now, I work with him in his company; we do entertainment scheduling.”

“You are lucky. You’re really beautiful.”

Crystal smiled. “Thank you. But you should know—you’re as pretty as I am, sweetie. Maybe even prettier.”

“Me?” Isabel said. She found this hard to believe.

Crystal laughed as she pretended to look around; then she returned her focus to Isabel. “Who else is here, girl? Yeah, you. A little makeup, some nice clothes,” she waved her hand at Isabel, “you’d have guys falling all over you. And I mean good guys. Guys who have lots of money and who’ll treat you right.” Crystal seemed absolutely bubbly.

Isabel rolled her eyes. Given her situation at home, she didn’t think about boys very often. This was more than she could even imagine.

“Isabel,” Crystal said, leaning forward again and speaking softly. “Listen to me. You seem like a sweet girl. And I know where you’re coming from because I was in the exact same boat.”

Isabel nodded.

Crystal continued. “Donnie—he’s my boyfriend—Donnie and I have a spare bedroom. If you want, I can ask him if it’d be okay if you stay with us for a little while—until you’re on your feet, I mean. You’d have a safe place to stay, plenty to eat. I’ll even take you shopping for some nice clothes.”

Isabel hesitated. “Why would you do that?” she asked. It had been a long time since anyone other than her friend Kelli had been nice to her. She couldn’t help being suspicious.

Crystal smiled. “Because I guess I see a little bit of me in you, that’s why. And I sure wish someone would have helped me out when I was in your situation.”

This resonated with Isabel. Things were moving fast, but at least they seemed to be moving in the right direction. Still, she hadn’t planned things out this far, and she was struggling to keep up.

“By the way,” Crystal said, “if you left yesterday, where’d you stay last night?”

Isabel looked down. “Under a tree,” she said.

“Oh, sweetie,” Crystal said, smiling, “you gotta stay with us. You don’t want to do that again, do you?”

That reminder, plus the realization that she had no other real options, pushed Isabel over the edge. “I don’t suppose it would hurt to stay with you guys for a while,” she said. “I don’t have any money to pay you, though.”

Crystal smiled. “I didn’t ask you for any money, did I?”

Isabel shook her head.

Crystal reached for her purse. “Let me call Donnie and ask him, alright?”

Isabel nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”

* * * *

Twenty minutes later, Isabel and Crystal stood at the curb near the valet parking stand. Isabel wore her backpack and carried her purse. Soon, a white BMW 750i pulled up. All of the windows were darkened, so it was impossible to see inside. “Here he is,” Crystal said.

Isabel didn’t know much about cars, but she recognized the BMW logo and was impressed. The car was very shiny—even the wheels were sparkling chrome. The driver parked the car alongside the curb and got out. He was a tall, very good-looking, young black man with his hair cut short. He wore black slacks and a tight-fitting, short-sleeved black Under Armour shirt, covered with a loose-fitting burgundy linen jacket. A large, expensive-looking gold watch was just visible on his left wrist, peeking out from under the sleeve of his jacket.

As the driver walked around the front of the car to the curb, the passenger door opened, and another young man stepped out. He was shorter—average height and his skin was paler than the driver’s.. His hair was straightened, gelled, and brushed back. He, too, was nicely dressed—a sharp young man. Both men made an impression on Isabel. They were as good-looking in their own right as Crystal was in hers. To Isabel, they all looked like wealthy fashion models.

“Hey, baby,” the driver said as he walked up to Crystal and hugged her. “You all done?”

“Think so,” Crystal said.

“Good,” the man said. “We are, too.” After a few moments, he glanced over at Isabel. He let Crystal go and said, “Is this your friend?”

“Uh-huh,” Crystal said. “Donnie Martin—this is Isabel—” she turned and looked at Isabel, “—Isabel, I don’t know your last name.”

“Delgado,” Isabel said.

“Isabel Delgado,” Crystal said.

Donnie walked over to her. He towered above her by more than a foot. “Isabel,” he said, reaching for her small hand. “What a beautiful name.” His voice was smooth and deep.

Isabel blushed. “Thanks,” she said. “It’s good to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Donnie said. His smile revealed a gleaming set of perfectly capped white teeth. He nodded toward the other man. “This ugly dude over here is my homeboy DeMichael. His friends—we—all call him Mikey.”

DeMichael stepped over and shook Isabel’s hand. Isabel thought his hands were very soft—softer even than hers. “I’m very pleased to meet you, Isabel,” he said. “Does everyone call you Isabel, or do you have a nickname? Something like Belle or Bella—like that girl in Twilight?”

Isabel blushed slightly. “Some of my friends call me Izzy,” she said.

“Izzy,” he said. “That’s even better. I like that. If you’re straight with it, I’m gonna call you Izzy.”

Isabel smiled. “Okay,” she said, nodding.

DeMichael gazed admiringly at Isabel’s hair. “Girl, you have beautiful hair,” he said. “Long and thick and pure black.” He paused and then added, “Like mine!”

Crystal laughed. “Yeah, you wish. Except Izzy doesn’t have to spend a hundred dollars and two hours getting hers straightened every two weeks.”

DeMichael reached for Isabel’s hair then stopped. “Do you mind?” he asked.

“No,” Isabel said.

DeMichael ran his hand slowly through Isabel’s hair. “That’s dope,” he said, seemingly in awe. “And you don’t have to do anything to get this?”

“No,” Isabel said. “That’s just how it is.”

“Damn,” he said.

“Imagine if we hooked her up with Janeka,” Crystal said. “She can throw some conditioner on that, and Isabel’s hair will shine like a black diamond.”

“Say, look,” Donnie interrupted from the sidewalk at the front of the car. “Y’all can share hair-styling secrets later. Right now, I need to talk to Isabel for a second, and then we got to scoot.” He turned to Isabel. “Crystal tells me you having some problems on the home front.”

Isabel looked him in the eye. “I don’t have a home,” she said. “Not anymore.”

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about,” Donnie said. “Bottom line—you’re temporarily out on the streets. Right?”

“I guess.”

Donnie smiled. “Don’t have to be that way, baby—this is your lucky day. Crystal told you we got a spare bedroom.”

Isabel nodded.

“Good. You’re welcome to come stay with us for a while. Till you get yourself established. That sound okay?”

“It does,” Isabel said. “Thank you.”

Donnie smiled again. “Good. We gonna do some great things.” He looked at her backpack. “That all your stuff?”

Isabel nodded. “That’s it.”

“Y’all travelin’ light.”

“I know.”

He shrugged. “That’ll change. Crystal’ll probably hook you up with some of her stuff for now. Use it as an excuse to go shoppin’.”

“Hell with that,” Crystal said. “I don’t need no excuse. Me and my homey Izzy—we’re going shoppin’ anyway. Tomorrow. Right, Iz?”

Isabel hesitated, then started to speak, but Crystal interrupted her. “I know,” she said. “You don’t have any money for shopping.” She smiled. “Good thing for you, I do. You can owe me. We’re going to get you all done up. Your hair, too. You’ll be so dope, people’ll have to wear sunglasses around you just to knock back the shine!”

Isabel smiled as DeMichael opened the back door.

“I’m riding shotgun,” Crystal suddenly called out.

DeMichael looked at Isabel. “Guess that means me and you in the back. After you, my dear,” he said gallantly. Isabel crawled into the back seat. She could hardly believe her luck. Less than twenty-four hours ago, she’d been shivering the night away hiding under a cedar tree to avoid the guards and to keep from getting rained on. An hour ago, she’d been sitting on a bench with no idea how to proceed. Now, she was sitting in a BMW, surrounded by nice people who wanted to help her out. She smiled as the car pulled away from the curb.

PART I
Chapter 1

“CEASE FIRE! CEASE fire!” The Range Safety Officer’s voice thundered down the line just as the last shooter fired his final round of the stage. The electronic noise-canceling features in my headset were designed to muffle the sharp reports of gunshots while still allowing voice commands to come through loud and clear—not that Gunny Doug Owens needed any help getting his point across. Twenty-one years in the Marine Corps prior to joining the Seattle Police Department as head firearms instructor gave him a “command voice” that left no confusion, no ambiguity as to the meaning of his message. Like many of the tough old sergeants I’d known in the army, Gunny Owens didn’t so much speak when he was on the range; he barked. It reminded me of basic training at Fort Benning.

I lowered my Les Baer Thunder Ranch Model 1911 .45-caliber semiauto to a forty-five degree angle, finger indexed along the barrel. Keeping it pointed downrange, I turned my head quickly in each direction, automatically scanning the area around me for new threats, just as Gunny barked out, “Weapons to low ready!”

He followed this up a second later with, “Unload and make safe!” The slide on my weapon had automatically locked open when I’d fired the last round. I pressed the magazine release button, and the empty magazine dropped out and fell to the ground.

“After inspection by a Range Safety Officer, holster your safe weapon.”

The RSO on my side of the line worked his way from shooter to shooter, checking their weapons as he went and tapping them on the shoulders when he was satisfied their weapons were completely empty, signifying it was okay to holster their weapon. I waited my turn as the gentle breeze cleared the smoke from the range.

When Gunny saw that the assistant RSOs on either side of the line had completed their inspections, he barked out “Line clear on the left?” The assistant RSO on my side of the line held up his hand in acknowledgment. “Line clear on the right?” The officer on the opposite end of the line did the same.

“Good,” Gunny said. “Ladies and gentlemen, the line is clear! You may remove your hearing protection. Retrieve your magazines, and let’s check targets.”

It was a beautiful morning on June 5, 2012. The temperature was in the high sixties, and the sky was partly cloudy. My partner, Antoinette “Toni” Blair, and I had just fired the last sequence in the Washington State Basic Law Enforcement Firearm Training course at the Seattle Police Athletic Association range in Tukwila, just south of Seattle. This is the same test issued to retired law enforcement officers annually and, other than Toni and me, the thirteen guys on the line were all retired police officers. Thanks to the Law Enforcement Officers Safety Act that Congress passed in 2004, successfully passing this test gave these retired officers the right to carry concealed weapons almost anywhere in the nation. Can you say instant extended police force? At no additional cost? Clearly, this was one of Congress’s smarter moves, if you ask me. Of course, Toni and I were not law enforcement officers, so passing the test wouldn’t give us the same privileges. But the practice kept us sharp, and it helped keep our insurance premiums low. And if, God forbid, we ever had to shoot anyone, regular documented training would probably help us legally. We were fortunate that my friends at Seattle PD allowed us to train with them and use the range.

I reached down and picked up my empty magazine, dusted it off, and put it in my pocket. Toni was two shooters to my left; I saw her do the same thing. At twenty-seven years old, she’d just had a birthday two weeks ago. She was dressed in camouflage-print fatigue-style pants that had no business looking as good as they did on her, green tactical boots, and a beige long-sleeved T-shirt that had an American flag and Made in the U.S.A. printed on it in big, bold red letters across the chest—just in case you were having trouble noticing the way she filled out the shirt (which, I suppose, would have been pretty good proof that you were legally blind). The other guys didn’t know it, but I knew that the long sleeves covered a full-sleeve tattoo on her left arm and a delicate little Celtic-weave tat on her right. Her thick, dark hair was covered with a backward-facing baseball cap, itself covered with her ear-protection headset. She wore yellow-tinted shooter’s glasses. She looked like a Victoria’s Secret model at a gun show—she was distracting as hell, and I was glad there was space between us. When we straightened up, she caught me looking and she smiled.

Oops. This wasn’t one of her “I love you” smiles or even one of her playful ones, for that matter. We’ve been friends for a long time—I’ve known her for more than five years. I’ve seen her use about twenty different smiles—she’s got one for every occasion. I know most of them pretty well, but as for this one, her meaning was quite clear. She was giving me the nasty, evil little grin that usually comes when we’re locked in competition. We both hate to lose, and shooting qualifications bring out our competitive natures. She looked pretty smug—must have fired another clean stage. I turned away and started walking downrange to inspect my target.

“Holy crap, Nichols!” Gunny yelled as he inspected the first shooter’s target. “You do know you’re supposed to be shooting target number one, right? You fired five rounds, but I only see three damn holes!” He turned and looked at the next target on the line. “You got any extra holes on your target?” he said to that target’s shooter. “Nope?” He turned back to the first unlucky guy. “Nichols, you had two rounds off the whole damn target! That’s pathetic. Ten points each—it’s going to cost you a twenty-point penalty.” He shook his head with disgust. “What’s worse, if this were real life, that means you’d be the proud owner of two .40-caliber projectiles flying through the air at 1,100 feet per second looking for something solid to hit besides their intended target.” He looked at the sheepish shooter. “You understand that’s bad, right?”

The man nodded. “Sorry, Gunny.”

“Yeah, you are,” Gunny nodded in agreement. “Looks like we’ll be seeing you back here this afternoon.”

Gunny moved down the line, examining each shooter’s target. His comments were usually short and to the point. “You pushed this one,” or “You flinched before you pulled the trigger here, see? Caused you to jerk low left.” The shooters—all experienced police officers with years and years of training—listened carefully. Gunny Owens was held in universal high esteem. He’d forgotten more about shooting than most of us would ever know.

He reached Toni’s target and stared at it for a second. “Holy hell, she’s doing it again!” he called out. The other shooters turned to look at Toni’s target. “This young lady,” he said, “—a civilian, I might add—qualifies on this very course every ninety days without fail. And I have never—I repeat never—seen her put a round outside the ten ring. Look at this shooting here. Y’all should do so well. Excellent! Well done, young lady.” Toni smiled demurely. “A solid 250,” Gunny said. “Perfect score.”

Gunny continued down the line until he reached my target. He examined it carefully, counting the number of holes. When he was finished, he turned to me. “Staff Sergeant Logan, did you yank one off the target?” Gunny liked to call me by my former military rank.

“Hell no, Gunny,” I said. “Look here.” I pointed to one of the bullet holes in the center of the target that was a bit more oblong than the others.

Gunny leaned forward and inspected the hole. “Oh, yeah,” he said, smiling. “I see. Same damn hole.” He stood up. “Folks, listen up! Another perfect score from the other civilian in the group.” He paused for a moment, and then he continued. “Although technically, I ain’t sure you can call him a civilian—he’s former U.S. Army 101st Airborne. It don’t happen often, but from time to time, the army turns out a damn fine shooter. Right, son?” That was about as high a compliment as an army grunt’s likely to get out of a marine (MARINE: “Muscle are Required—Intelligence Not Essential”).

“Hooah, Gunny!” I yelled out. You better believe it.

“Damn right,” he said, nodding his head sharply. He turned and continued his inspection.

After he finished with the last shooter, he returned to the center of the line. “Gentlemen, and Ms. Blair,” he said, “Y’all gather round.” When we’d formed in a group around him, he said, “One of y’all’s coming back this afternoon.” He turned to the offender. “That’s you, Nichols. I want you to practice with Officer Mendez here,” he pointed at one of his assistant RSOs, “right after lunch: 1300 hours. If you’re ready, you’ll get another shot at qualifying at 1400. We’ll see if you can keep all your rounds on your own target this time.” He looked at the rest of us. “As for the rest of you—you’ve all officially qualified. Congratulations.” The men nodded their heads quietly. They’d done this before and most were good—if not very good—shooters.

“Before you leave, though, we do have a dilemma,” Gunny continued. “We have a tie for top honors—two perfect scores.” Here we go, I thought. Same as last time. “And as some of you may know, I don’t like to end things with a tie. No closure that way. So what say we have ourselves a quick little tiebreaker shoot-out?”

“Yeah!” the men agreed enthusiastically.

“Good. Randy—do me a favor and throw a couple of clean targets on lanes three and four, would you? The rest of you, follow me.”

Gunny walked us back past the fifteen-yard marker where we’d fired the last sequence. He kept walking, past the twenty-five yard marker until he reached a marker that said thirty-five yards. “We’ll do it from here,” he said. “Make it interesting. A little over one hundred feet—a real test. Ms. Blair—you’re on number three. Staff Sergeant Logan—you’re on lane four. Everybody else: behind the line.” I looked downrange at the small targets. One hundred feet is a long pistol shot if you have something solid to brace against. Without a brace, it was really long.

He waited until the targets were set and everybody was behind us. “Okay, you two,” he said. “I want you to load one round—and one round only—into a magazine. This will be a one shot, do-or-die competition. We’ll run you through one at a time. Who wants to go first?”

“I will,” Toni said quickly. I looked at her, and we locked eyes. She no doubt was trying to psych me out. Good luck with that.

“Ladies first, then,” Gunny said. “Oh, I forgot. We’ll use the electronic timer. You’ll start from the low ready position, two hand grip—or one hand if you want. Your choice of stances. When the timer beeps, you’re to raise your weapon and fire. You’ll have two seconds to get your shot off before the timer beeps again. If you go over, the timer will tell us, and you’ll be DQ’d. So don’t go over time.”

Two seconds! Two seconds was very fast from thirty-five yards. I glanced at Toni. If she was concerned, she didn’t show it. She was already concentrating on the target.

“You two ready?” We nodded.

“Okay, everyone. Hearing protection on!” Gunny reverted to command voice.

“Shooter number one, at this time, load and make ready!” Toni slapped a magazine into her Glock 23 and cycled the slide.

“Shooter, assume a low ready position!”

Toni crouched down, her weapon held before her pointed toward the ground at a forty-five degree angle.

“Shooter, watch your target!”

BEEP! The electronic timer sounded. Toni instantly raised her weapon, sighted, and one second later, fired. BOOM!, followed nearly instantly by BEEP! as the timer sounded again. Toni had beaten the clock by a fraction of a second.

Everyone looked downrange and strained to see the bullet hole in the target. “One point eight seven seconds, and she’s in the bottle,” Gunny called out, “chin level, just a hair right of center. Seven points. That’s fine shooting from thirty-five yards, young lady. Especially in under two seconds.” The “bottle” is the broad, bottle-shaped area of the target that includes the upper torso and the neck up to the center of the head. Toni’s shot was very nearly right on the centerline in the “neck” of the bottle, but it fell midway between the four-inch diameter “ten” ring centered around the top of the target’s nose and the six-inch diameter “ten” ring centered around the target’s heart—in other words, just under the chin. It was an outstanding shot, but looking at Toni, I could tell right away she was not happy. She felt me staring, turned to me, and stuck her tongue out.

“The bad guy is definitely down,” Gunny said. “Probably for good, I’d say. But—with a score of seven,” he smiled with a nasty grin, “the door got left open for the staff sergeant just a hair. Ms. Blair, go ahead and unload and make safe.” Toni released her empty magazine and held her pistol up for inspection by one of the assistant RSOs. He patted her on the shoulder, and she holstered her weapon. The RSO turned to Gunny and raised his hand.

“The line is clear,” Gunny said. “Let’s see if shooter number two can take advantage.”

As I stepped up to the line, Toni said, “Check your fly, dude.” I smiled. Psych!

I was in a tough spot. This was going to be a difficult shot. I like to win as much as she does. Lord knows she would’ve liked nothing better than to beat me on the firing range. In four years, it had never happened before. If she won one, she’d be delighted. This could be a good thing. Maybe it was her time. Thinking about it made me consider maybe giving her one—pulling the shot on purpose. But if I did that, I still needed to make it close. She knows I’m a good shot, and if she suspected I’d thrown the round, she’d have my ass. I made my decision.

“Shooter number two, load and make ready!” I slapped the magazine with the single round into my sidearm, released the slide, and lowered the weapon to the low ready position.

“Shooter, watch your target!” I crouched and tightened my grip.

BEEP! All at once, the outside world seemed to recede. Everything switched to slow motion and all my training kicked in. As my arms came up to target, my right thumb pushed the safety lever to the off position. During the same motion, I took one deep breath, then held it. My arms steadied on the target. My eyes instantly found the front sight, and the front sight centered on the target’s head. With all my concentration, I focused on the front sight. Steady. Squeeze. BOOM! The round fired. BEEP! The timer sounded. I didn’t need to look.

* * * *

We said our good-byes to Gunny Owens at 11:00 and jumped in my red Jeep for the drive back to our office. Our company is Logan Private Investigations—or Logan PI, as we like to call it. We have a small office on Westlake Avenue on Lake Union, right in the middle of Seattle, less than a mile from I-5. Unfortunately, the south end of Lake Union where we’re located was currently wrecked by construction. Microsoft cofounder Paul Allen had decided to single-handedly rebuild Seattle, and he was starting with the South Lake Union area. As a result, traffic was stop-and-go. Actually, more stop than go—it was going to take a while. I hit the play button on the MP3 player, and the sound of a very sweet piano started to flow from the speakers.

Toni listened carefully when the singer started. “Is that—is that Brandi Carlile?” she asked.

“Yep.”

“I’ve never heard this before.”

“I know. That’s because it’s brand-new. It’s called Bear Creek. Just released today. This song is called ‘That Wasn’t Me.’”

She listened for a minute, tapping her foot to the beat. Then she said, “Awesome. I love it. She sounds like Adele.”

I considered this. “Yeah a little, maybe. On this song, anyway. Maybe a bit more country.”

We listened to the new music for a minute while we waited for the traffic to move. Toni’s cell phone rang, and I turned the music down.

“Okay,” she said into the phone. “Tell her to wait. We’re down by the park—only about a half mile away. As soon as traffic moves, we’ll be there.”

She hung up and turned to me. “That was Kenny. He says Kelli’s at the office.”

Kelli—Racquel Genevieve Blair—is Toni’s eighteen-year-old little sister. I hadn’t seen Kelli in a couple of months, although we’d been planning to go to her high school graduation the following week.

“He say what she wants?” I asked.

“She wants to talk. To you and me both.”

Curious.

* * * *

Twenty-five minutes later, we walked into our office. No one was in the lobby, so we made our way toward the back, where we heard laughter coming from the office of Kenny Hale—our technology guru. I followed Toni into Kenny’s office. He was at his desk with Kelli sitting across from him.

“Hey, guys,” Kenny said when we entered.

“’Sup?” I said, looking from Kenny to Kelli. “Hey, Kelli.”

Kelli and Toni look the same but different. Bear with me—I haven’t lost my mind here. Toni’s tall—a solid five foot eight. Kelli’s a touch shorter—maybe five seven or so. Both girls have striking figures—something they inherited from their mom, I suppose (although I’m not sure I’m supposed to have noticed that). Both have thick, dark hair, although Kelli’s is long with no bangs and more of a brunette color, while Toni’s is more mid-length with long bangs and almost black. The biggest, most noticeable difference, though, is not their height or their hair, but their eyes. Toni’s eyes are a brilliant blue—the color of the Hope Diamond. Kelli’s are a deep emerald green. Both are beautiful. So, like I said—the girls look the same but definitely different.

“Hi, Danny,” she said. She turned to Toni. “Hey, sis.”

Toni walked over to Kelli. “Hi, sweetie,” she said, leaning forward and hugging her sister. She straightened up and eyed Kenny warily. “I see you’ve met Kenny.” Kelli probably missed the look. I didn’t.

“Yeah,” she said. “We’ve just been talking.”

Kenny’s a young guy—he just turned twenty-six a couple of months ago. He’s maybe five eight and a buck fifty soaking wet. He’s got an unruly mop of dark hair that he pushes over to one side. In fact, he looks just like what he is—the quintessential computer geek. When it comes to anything to do with computers, Kenny’s the real deal. He’s got aptitude and native talent that’s off the charts. He grew up with computers in ground zero of the computer world: Redmond, Washington. I’m not certain, but I’d be willing to bet his first toy was a laptop. Knowing Kenny, he probably took it apart, tricked it out some way, and then put it back together. He’s got to be one of the most brilliant PC dudes in the Pacific Northwest. His consulting services are in high demand—I’m sure he makes at least as much moonlighting for the big tech companies around here as he does from his Logan PI paycheck. Still, lucky for us, he likes the excitement of detective work. I say “lucky for us” because computer skills are a near prerequisite for PI firms these days.

Despite the fact that he’s no physical specimen, Kenny is surprisingly successful with the ladies. I have a theory about this. I think that like a lot of nerdy guys, he was probably teased in high school by the jocks and shunned by their pretty cheerleader girlfriends. Back then, geeks were people to be, if not outright, scorned, at least avoided. Now, seven or eight years down the road, presto-chango! Role reversal! Now the smart-guy propeller-heads like Kenny have all the money and run around in their Porsche Cayenne Turbos. Now it’s their turn to date the pretty girls while the majority of high school jocks (meaning all those who didn’t get Division I scholarships) work low-paying, manual labor jobs (if they can still find them). Kenny was simply playing his new role for all he was worth. It’s just a theory. Anyway, I like him. He’s a good guy with a good heart.

Toni feels the same way, but to her, Kenny’s a target she can’t resist for some good-natured teasing. She teases him about his hair, his height, his weight, even his girlfriends. And he gives as good as he gets. He teases her about her hair, her height, her tattoos, and—until recently—her lack of boyfriends. Normally, there’s a good-natured banter between the two of them. Today, though, Toni’s little sister was here to talk about something, and no doubt, Toni wondered if Kenny had tried to put some kind of move on Kelli while they’d been waiting for us. I doubted this—Kenny goes out with younger women to be sure, but even Kenny has a lower age limit, which seems to be twenty-one or so. But what the hell. Toni’s the big sister, and it’s her job to be protective—thus, the stink eye. It continued, even as I led Kelli out of Kenny’s office to our conference room.

Kenny noticed. “What?” he mouthed silently, holding up his hands.

Toni glared at him for a second, then she turned and followed us. Message sent.

* * * *

“So,” I said, when we entered the conference room. “Long time no see, Kelli. I haven’t seen you since your birthday.”

“I know,” she said. She looked at Toni then back at me. “You guys had just started going out. I’m so happy for both of you.”

Toni smiled. “Thanks, sis. We’re happy, too.”

“And now it’s time for graduation,” I said. “You all ready to go?”

“Sure am,” she said.

“You feel happy or sad?” I asked.

“Happy. Definitely happy.”

I smiled. “That’s good. What’re you going to do?”

“I’m going to U-Dub,” she said. “I start in the fall. I’ve already been admitted.”

“Cool!” I said. “Outstanding! Do you know what you want to study yet?”

“Yep. I’m thinking LSJ—same as you guys.” The University of Washington offers a four-year bachelor’s degree in something they call Law, Societies, and Justice. Basically, it’s a fancy name for a criminal justice degree. Toni and I met in early 2007 when we were seniors in the LSJ program. I was still in the army, finishing my last year as a CID special agent. It’s a good education if you want to make law enforcement your career.

“LSJ—that’s cool,” I said. “Are you thinking about police work?”

“Pre-law,” Kelli said. “I want to be a DA.”

I smiled. “Excellent. Somebody to put the bad guys away. You’ll make a great DA. Runs in your family, I think.”

Toni smiled.

“Yeah, I think so, too,” Kelli said.

“Well, that’s good,” I said. I leaned back in my chair. “So what brings you here today?”

Her mood sobered quickly. Where she’d been happy and smiling a moment before, she suddenly turned somber.

“I have a friend,” she said. “I think she’s in trouble.”

Toni eyed her suspiciously, not certain if Kelli was referring to herself when she said “a friend” and, if she was, trying to determine what she meant by “in trouble.” Pregnant maybe? Big sister switching back into protective mode, I suppose.

“What kind of trouble,” Toni said.

“I think my friend Isabel’s been kidnapped,” Kelli said.

Whoa! That came out of left field! Toni and I both looked at Kelli as we scrambled to catch up mentally. “What do you mean, you think she’s been kidnapped?” Toni said.

“Hold up for a second,” I said, raising my hand. “Don’t answer that just yet.” Both girls looked at me. “Since the conversation’s headed this direction, let me grab a couple of notepads, so we can take notes and do this the right way.”

Toni looked at me for a second, and then she said, “Good idea.”

I took a couple of steno pads from the credenza behind the conference room table. While I was up, I grabbed three bottles of water.

“Kelli, why don’t you start from the very beginning,” I said as I sat back down. “Go slow. Give us plenty of details. Everything you can remember.”

“Okay,” she said.

“Start by giving us Isabel’s personal data. What’s her full name?” I asked.

“Isabel Delgado.”

“Do you know if she has a middle name?”

“I don’t know.”

“Address?”

“She lives at 4268 192nd Street in Lynnwood.”

“Just around the corner from us?” Toni asked. Toni grew up in a home on 189th Street in Lynnwood—the same home where Kelli still lived with their mother.

“Yeah,” Kelli said. “Isabel is in chorus with me. I got to know her last year. She’s just a sophomore now, but I used to drive her to school since we live so close to each other.”

“How old is she?” I asked.

“She just turned sixteen last month,” Kelli said. “On May seventh.”

“Physical description?”

“She’s Hispanic. A little shorter than me, with long, straight, dark hair,” Kelli said.

“Her eyes?”

“I think they’re black.”

“What’s her build? Is she heavy or thin?”

“She’s medium—maybe a little bit thin,” Kelli said. “But she has a really good figure.”

I wrote the information down.

“So what’s happened?” I asked, looking up. “Why do you say you think she’s been kidnapped?”

Kelli looked down at the table and gathered her thoughts. Then she looked up at me. She pushed her long hair back away from her face.

“Isabel’s had it hard,” she started. Toni and I both looked at her. I suppose the questions must have been obvious in our faces.

“At home, I mean.” That made it a little clearer.

“She’s had it hard?” I asked. “Is she being abused?” I didn’t want to come off as insensitive, but I usually find it helpful to move right to the heart of the issue—eliminate ambiguities.

Kelli nodded. “She was,” she said softly.

“Sexually?”

Kelli nodded. “Yeah.”

“You said ‘she was,’” Toni said. “And now?”

“She ran away on her sixteenth birthday,” Kelli said. “She called me once and texted me a few times, but now I haven’t heard from her in more than a week. I think something’s happened.”

I looked at her, then said, “Isabel ran away to escape abuse at home; while she was gone, she contacted you, and now she’s gone silent?”

“Yeah. Nothing since her last text.”

I wrote a couple of notes on my pad and then looked back up at her. “Let’s break this into stages, okay? First, let’s talk about Isabel’s home life. Let me ask you a few questions to help fill us in.”

“Alright,” she said.

“Let’s start by getting right to the point. Do you know who abused her?”

“Yeah. She said it was her stepfather,” Kelli said.

“Do you know his name?”

“Mm-hm. It’s Tracey.”

“Last name?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I know Isabel kept her father’s name. Her stepfather’s is different.”

“That’s alright,” Toni said. “We can look it up. Did you ever meet this guy?”

Kelli nodded. “Yeah, a few times.”

“Tell us about him,” Toni said.

“I’d say he’s older—probably in his forties,” Kelli said. “He’s a mechanic, I think. He mostly wears a uniform. He’s always dirty and grungy.”

“Where have you seen him?” Toni asked.

“At Isabel’s house. Sometimes, I’d drop Isabel off from school late—say four o’clock or so. Izzy’s mom goes to work in the afternoons and sometimes her stepfather would already be home.”

“He works days then?” I asked. “And her mom works nights?”

“Yeah. I think her stepfather must get off in the late afternoon.”

“What’s he like?” I asked.

“He creeped me out,” Kelli said. She shuddered as she said it.

“How so?”

“The way he used to look at me,” she said. “He basically drooled.” She shuddered again. “Just the thought of him gives me the creeps.”

“Did he ever say anything? Ever try anything?” Toni asked.

“He never tried anything with me,” Kelli said. “But he used to say I was pretty. Once he even said I had a pretty figure.”

“Really? He said that?” I turned to Toni. “That’s a pretty inappropriate thing to say to a minor.”

Toni was not happy. “Yeah, you think?”

Kelli continued. “I know. I got to the point where I would just drop Izzy off at the curb. I couldn’t stand going in.” She stared at the wall for a second, then tears welled up in her eyes. “Izzy didn’t have a choice, though. Maybe if I’d have done something, she wouldn’t have had it so bad.”

I looked at her and shook my head. “Done what? What could you have done? Don’t second-guess yourself like that. Hell, if I did that, I’d be a wreck. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t even know anything was happening. And if what Isabel said is true, the only one who did anything wrong was her stepfather. Don’t forget that, alright?”

“Besides,” Toni said. “Look at it. Now that you’ve discovered a problem, what are you doing? You’re trying to get help—just like you should. Danny’s right. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Kelli sniffed. “I guess,” she said.

Toni handed her a tissue from the box on the credenza.

“You ready to keep going?” Toni asked

“Yeah,” Kelli said.

“You said you’ve known her since last year?” Toni asked.

“Yes,” Kelli said. “When she was a freshman.”

“Did you ever see anything with her—any sort of sign that she might have been in some sort of trouble?”

She shook her head. “Other than her creep-job stepfather, no.”

“No bruises—no cuts—nothing like that?”

She shook her head again. “No, nothing. Not that I ever saw, anyway.”

We paused, and then I said, “Did you guys hang out other than at school?”

“Yeah, sometimes. We’d go to the mall sometimes.”

“Alderwood Mall?”

“Yeah. It’s right by our house.”

“Anything else?”

“We went to the movies a few times, too.”

“When did she tell you about what happened at her house? About her stepfather?”

Kelli sniffled. “Not until after she left.”

Toni and I both scribbled on our notepads. After a few seconds, Toni said, “Tell us about Isabel leaving home.”

“Okay. I called her on her birthday, but she didn’t answer, so I sent her a text. She called me back later the same day. She was like ‘Kelli—I ran away.’”

“And then she told you what happened?”

Kelli nodded. She started to cry again. “She said it was because her stepfather raped her,” she said.

“She said that?” I asked. “In those words?”

Kelli’s face was red with anguish. “Yes,” she said. Toni got up and put her arm around her sister as Kelli sobbed quietly into her tissue.

A couple of minute later, she composed herself and continued. “She said she wasn’t going to put up with him anymore, so she ran away. I offered to come and pick her up, but she wouldn’t tell me where she was—at least not then. I think she was afraid that if I knew, I might rat her out accidentally. I told her she could come stay with us, but she said that she didn’t want us to get in trouble. She thought that her mom or her stepfather would come over looking for her. She made me promise not to say anything to anybody.”

“Did they?” I asked. “Did her parents come looking for her?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“So she’s been gone a month, and they haven’t even come looking? Do you think that her mom or her stepfather would have come to ask you if you knew anything?” Toni asked.

“Sure,” Kelli said. “They know about me. They know Izzy and I are good friends.”

“What happened next?” I asked.

Kelli opened her purse and pulled out her phone. She opened the text message window.

“A couple of days after she called, she sends me a text.” She handed me the phone. Toni leaned over, and we both read it.

Isabel Delgado         5/9/12    7:32 PM

Met a cool girl named Crystal at the mall. Staying with her and her boyfriend Donnie for now. IOK. :^) LYLAS

“I don’t know much about texting. IOK stands for ‘I’m okay’?” I asked.

“Yes,” Toni said.

“How about LYLAS?”

That one stumped Toni. Kelli said, “It means ‘Love you like a sister.’” She sniffed and wiped her nose. “Now scroll down,” she said. I did. The next message was one day later.

Isabel Delgado        5/10/12      4:56 PM

Went shopping for clothes—Crystal loaned me $$. Looking good! :^) LYLAS

“Again,” she said. “A week later.”

I scrolled down again.

Isabel Delgado            5/18/12      11:24 PM

Kicking it with Donnie’s friend Mikey. He’s the bomb, and we’re into each other. :^) LYLAS

“And then the last one,” she said. “A week ago.”

I scrolled down again.

Isabel Delgado        5/28/       12 5:17 PM

Kelli—2G2BT. :^( LYLAS

“What does this mean?” I asked.

“2G2BT? It means ‘too good to be true.’”

“Too good to be true and a little frowny-face thing,” I said. “I wonder what she meant by that?”

“Something must have happened,” Toni said. “Something she didn’t like, by the sound of it.”

“Seems that way,” I said. I thought for a second. “It’s amazing how four little text messages can tell a story like that.” I punched the intercom button and called Kenny into the conference room. When he arrived, I asked Kelli, “Do you mind if I get Kenny to pull copies of your text messages off your phone?”

“No,” she said. “That’d be okay.”

“And can you give us Isabel’s cell phone number?”

“Yeah,” she said. She read the number off, and all three of us wrote it down.

Kenny left with the phone. I turned to Toni. “What do you think?”

She thought for a second and then said, “Sounds like we need to find Isabel.”

I nodded. “I agree,” I said. “The sooner, the better.”

Kelli smiled, tears flowing again. “Thanks, you guys. Thank you so much.”

I smiled at her. “We’ll find her.” I thought for a second. “But if we do,” I said, “where will we take her? We can’t very well take her back to her home.”

“First things first,” Toni said. “Let’s focus on finding her for now. Then we’ll worry about where to take her.”

I nodded. “Good plan. Let’s do it.”

So we started hunting for Isabel.

Chapter 2

“JEEZ—THIRTY-FIVE yards? I can barely see that far,” Detective Goscislaw “Gus” Szymanski said as I recounted the story. Gus and his boss, Lieutenant Dwayne Brown, were treating Toni and me to an early birthday lunch. I was a week away from turning the big three-oh.

“That’s right,” Dwayne agreed. “Thirty-five yards—that’s why God invented sniper rifles with big scopes.”

“How long did you have?” Gus asked.

“Two seconds,” Toni said.

“Holy crap,” Gus said. “Takes me longer than that to move my coat back just to reach my gun.”

“We didn’t have to draw,” Toni said. “We got to start from low ready.”

“Still,” Dwayne said, shaking his head. “That’s crazy fast for that distance.”

Dwayne heads up the SPD’s Special Investigations Unit, and Gus is his partner and assistant. They work a variety of cases—mostly those that SPD brass deems politically sensitive. Dwayne and Gus make an unlikely pair. Dwayne’s a forty-something, good-looking black man with more than twenty years on the Seattle force. He’s a sharp professional. The fact that he’s naturally smooth in front of a television camera makes him a good representative for the police department i

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Peter in Flight

by Paul Michael Peters

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Here’s the set-up:
Peter can tell you how to run a great marketing campaign. He can tell you everything there is to know about successful trade show programs. He can tell you stories about the thousands of people he has met, miles he has flown, hotel rooms he has stayed in, and ways to work the system to your advantage when you travel. But he can’t tell the woman he loves how he feels.
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an excerpt from

Peter in Flight

by Paul Michael Peters

Chapter 1

Over the last six years I have shaken the hands of over a million people. After all, this simple act is the beginning of every business deal, providing the potential customer with his first and often lasting impression.

The worst handshake—number 4,528—was at the Marriott Copley Place in Boston, a hotel connected to a shopping center by a series of elevated walkways between high rises. I was at my booth in the Marriott’s exhibit hall, by the entrance (a professional trade show guy takes pride in getting the best booth placement). I had a clear line of vision to the mall.

Business on the floor was slow, and one of the attendees had decided to skip the session altogether.  She had made her way to the confectionary stand just outside the exhibit hall’s door. She was tall and lanky, her black hair streaked with gray, and her belly protruded slightly; she looked more unkempt than unfit.

I can see the little drama play out in my mind as if it were happening now. She buys a half-pound of salt-water taffy, each piece wrapped in white wax paper, and the merchant puts them in a small brown paper bag. She turns and saunters back through the front door of the exhibit hall, taking a piece of taffy and shoving it into her mouth. Her chipmunk cheeks are stretched full of candy as she proceeds to walk in my direction.

I pretend I’m busy at the booth, but I’m fully aware of her every step. When she gets close enough for me to command her attention, I put my eager hand out, look her in the eye, and say, “Hello, I’m Peter. Can I tell you about my enterprise solution?”

That’s when I know that things have gone wrong. I’ve acted too soon; I haven’t read the situation correctly. Her hand moves to her mouth and she spits the well-chewed blue taffy onto her palm and hastily drops it into the brown paper bag for safekeeping. Without wiping her hand, she grasps mine firmly. My eyes are locked on hers. My fake smile is all a gleam. I must now ignore what has just taken place, and tell her all about my software to see if there’s any opportunity of a sale.

My mistake? I didn’t mirror the prospect. I should have let her lead me; I shouldn’t have acted first. That was my rookie mistake in the spring of 1996.

Needless to say, she didn’t buy the software. The company she represented didn’t even fit our customer profile, being far too small. She was kind enough to stand at my booth and watch a product demonstration for ten minutes before saying “No, thank you,” and walking away, leaving me with nothing but sticky hand.  As she left, she reached into her brown paper bag to retrieve her half-chewed morsel.

As “the trade show guy,” I can tell you that my story is about one thing:  developing the expertise to find the people who will buy my software on trade show floors across North America. Last year, like the four before it, I spent forty-nine weeks on the road going from one event to the next. People go to conventions, and then they browse the trade floor, which is where I shine.

I do not own a home or a car. I do not have a family. I do not have an apartment. If we met on an airplane, in a hotel lobby, or on a conference floor, I would consider us to be friends. I might not remember your name without a name badge, but I will remember your story.

If you’re considering this line of work, you should know that what I do has a rhythm that’s pretty easy to understand. Most big trade shows set up on a Saturday or Sunday and last until Thursday of the following week. So on a Sunday I take about thirty minutes to set up my retractable booth on the exhibit floor. I check my list of items for each event, which always includes the prize drawing, entry cards, several staplers, company logo pens, electricity, and a monitor for the software demonstration. Once that’s in place I make sure that the people from my company supporting the event have all checked into their hotel rooms and have their registration badges.  Then I check my email. My Inbox is always full of messages:  Someone missed his flight; someone can’t find the hotel, someone can’t locate the booth or wants to meet for dinner, or tells me there’s been a software update to the product.

Each Monday morning I make a call to Kurt, a man I trust with my life and the head of my exhibit house—the place that creates the booth in which I’ll live for the next four days. He and his team know every labor manager in every major city. When I mention the name of my exhibit house, things just seem to happen. Any success I might have in life is tied to knowing him and having him on my side.

An exhibit house is basically Santa’s workshop for trade shows and exhibits. It’s a magical place where they make things happen—they create specialized exhibits as well as store and ship exhibits. The front office has graphic designers, architects, and logistics experts. Dreams are realized here with paint, planning, and a few nails. In the adjacent building is a humidity- and temperature-controlled storage facility where all the exhibits not in use dream of the next big event.

Kurt happens to work at the most well-known of these businesses, one with two locations—one in Las Vegas (LAS) and the other adjacent to O’Hare (ORD). Kurt works in Chicago.

Our Monday morning call will go something like this.

“How’s the road treating you this week?” Kurt will ask.

“There is no life better,” I’ll respond.

“I see you’re in MCO this week and LAS next.” He always uses airport codes. “Orange County is doing a dock cleaning this week with the Fire Marshal, so we’re going to store property number 2 off-site.”

MCO is the code for Orlando, Florida, and Kurt’s referring to the Orange County Convention Center. In the real heat of central Florida, the empty cases and boxes we litter the place with could be a fire hazard, so the local official will do a walk-through to make sure things are safe. This is preceded by a courtesy call letting the convention center know he’s coming out—hence, Kurt knows he’s planning a visit. My “property” is the booth. In this case, booth number 2.

I have five properties that rotate with me depending on the size of the event and where I am. Three of the booths are the standard 10×10 and two are table-tops—small displays that fit on top of any standard hotel table.  The three 10x10s can be reconfigured into one big booth when needed for those really big shows. The table-tops will join me at any event with two hundred registrants or less.

After Kurt and I are done with our Monday call, I speak with my boss Tatiana. Hers is the best handshake I’ve ever shared. She is my number one.

During my first phone interview, we just clicked. She was firm but fair, our language was similar, her voice melodious. Of course I was happy to meet with her. The first thing I noticed were her green eyes, soft and inviting. Her skin was pale and youthful, her hair dark, straight, and cut above the shoulder, and, in a certain light, brown highlights could be seen. Her lips were thin and provided a perfect balance to high cheek bones and the line of her chin. However, these were not what won me over. When we shook hands, there was a spark. I’ve tried to explain it as a static shock from the dry air and new carpeting, but who really knows the truth? Her fragrance filled my head like an intoxicating potion that sweetly burned my tongue on its way to my heart. My first thoughts on meeting her were “What am I in for?” I don’t remember a thing about the interview outside of her. Yet, she still hired me.

Two weeks later I was going through orientation and found that my desk was located just outside her office. Each time she passed I was distracted by that tantalizing fragrance. From eight feet away I could hear the slippery fabric of her clothes move or the click of her nails on each key. On the days she wore a dress, I was lost knowing her youth had been spent perfecting ballet moves at the barre in front of a mirror.

There were, of course, barriers to our relationship. She was my boss, and thus I just couldn’t find a way to express my burning desire to be with her. When something went wrong, I couldn’t take her in my arms and tell her things would get better. Oh, and there was the small fact that she was married to this great guy and had two girls.

When I discovered that she was married with children, I fell into a funk. There was the week I stayed in bed and dropped a few pounds unintentionally. There were several days when I forgot to shave, sometimes shower. It was not the best of times.

It might have been fate that stepped in at that point. The woman who’d been handling the trade shows decided she no longer wanted to do them. When she gave notice, I jumped at the opportunity and in three months expanded the position to what it is today. It only took a single spreadsheet to prove that putting someone—me—on the road full-time could create a huge number of new named contacts for sales and elevate our company status.

My Monday calls with Tatiana often take a full hour, sometimes more. I look forward to this call each week. We talk about the office gossip, her life, her family, and eventually the marketing calendar. I’m always planning three months ahead of the current date, sometimes more. There are enough trade shows, conferences, breakfast briefings, road shows, and the annual users conferences in the software industry these days that I cannot attend them all in fifty-two weeks. Sometimes I need to double or triple up.

During the regular week I’m in the exhibit hall, shaking hands, demonstrating our product, promising a better life once they buy our software. In downtime, I’m filling out paperwork for an event later in the year or sending an email to staff about the schedule or hotel. Without the distractions of working from an office, I’d say I’m much more efficient as an employee than others. Yes, there are also times when I’m poolside, at the evening entertainment, or taking clients out to dinner and drinks, but those are also part of the job. How much fun it can be to spend three evenings a week with total strangers and their odd habits over dinner, listening to their problems and explaining how my company will solve them.

Some weeks I find myself at two to three smaller conferences rather than one large one. The table-top displays are set up in ten minutes, and while there are fewer hands to shake, there’s just as much potential to sell. Combined smaller events make up most of my year and provide a higher quality of return to my software company.

I like to believe that Tatiana is concerned about me—that she worries about my well being and may even think about me after hours. There might be these moments, just after the lights go off, late at night when the kids are asleep and she’s in bed with her husband, that she mentions me. “I’m worried about Peter,” she might say.  Often at this point in my fantasy the turbulence in the plane rumbles me awake or the early morning complimentary paper delivery to my hotel door will stir me back to reality. I am alone in the world. Just like many of you, I am my only savior, my only hero. Love is a luxury I cannot afford.

Chapter 2

Enterprise software, the line of product for which I am Comp-U-Soft’s ambassador, is a combination of database management, calculations, and reporting. There are eighty-four companies that I compete with. Each of them, in one way or another, fills the needs of growing organizations with disparate data systems.  As companies grow, many come to realize that they have picked up multiple software systems that make the organization run. Finance has one system, HR has another, and sales has a third.

Enterprise software offers the ability to take these separate departmental systems and tie them together. How? Well, they add a single database that several of them feed into. This central source of data allows executive and management teams to gather comprehensive information and run executive summaries. Some of these systems will roll the application out to lower levels of users to add data into the system. It’s where calculations can be made, business forecasts built, and reports can be sent to the Security and Exchange Commission (SEC).

Hence, I can say to people at my booth, “Our software helps you bridge the business gaps you are currently experiencing.” I can show them my cool reporting tool and ask, “Wouldn’t you like to know if this sort of thing is happening in your company?” Certain types of reports can really seduce a CFO or CEO. They want to be able to drive the business as if it were a car, so these reports are called a dashboard. You can tell when things are heating up, going fast, moving slow, or have come to a complete stop. It also lets you see the road ahead with predictive analytics. For example, if I am at point A, and I do this, I can get to points B and C. But if this were to happen (God forbid) I would be a point J or K.

I can’t speak for how well the software works, but I know how I work. Two things make me great at what I do. The first is sleep. I can sleep anywhere. Many people find it difficult to get comfortable in a strange or new place. For the most part I find myself in some of the higher-end hotel chains. Event organizers are catering to senior level executives with higher standards. They can afford the two- hundred-fifty dollar room that lower level employees wouldn’t have the budget for.

Sleep is an important part of what I do. You’ll need to be at your best as an ambassador for your company, and that includes a keen mind. You can’t get good sleep if you are drunk. Alcohol, while widely glamorized as the magic elixir producing a signed agreement, is often the downfall of successful event marketers. You can decide to drink, or you can stay up late, but you cannot both stay up late and drink before your scheduled stint in the booth. Anyone naïve enough to believe that has been sent home early or lost an opportunity for the company.

The second thing that makes me great at my job is kindness. People just want to be treated well. Not better or differently, just treated well. My grandmother told me that the true sign of a gentleman is thinking of others before thinking of one’s self. For some reason, I believed her. It’s an idiom that has carried me through life. People want to be listened to, not just heard. Fortunate or not, I now know the stories of thousands of people who feel that they can open up to a stranger about the most personal of topics.

The confessions usually come at the end of a reception and start with the phrase “You seem like a pretty nice guy.” Which is true. I am a nice guy. I may be the nicest guy in the world. On any flight, you can sit next to me and tell me your tales, and I will remember them. Last November, between San Diego and San Francisco, I had to help a gentleman in his late 60’s who appeared to have slower cognitive skills zip his pants and buckle his belt after a visit to the rest room. I look at it as being part of the job.

The world in which I live, between the trade show floor and the airline seat, is filled with lonely business travelers. They’re accustomed to a staff member, spouse, or friend wherever they go. They’re looking for a buddy at the trade show, or a kind ear on a flight. What they usually get is pushing and shoving for carry-on luggage, delayed flights, overworked ticket agents, and unfamiliar territory. When they meet me, they have a friend and companion, even if only for a few short hours.

I awake early at the Grand Hyatt Atlanta in Buckhead. It’s Tuesday. My day will start at the booth, shaking the hands of senior level executives while they drink coffee and eat pastries. Once they go into session I’ll have two hours before they take a break.

During lunch I’ll sit next to one of two people I’ve been keeping my eye on since we first met during the Sunday evening reception. One is a CFO, the other a controller.  Both work for companies in my target audience, both have watched the product demonstration, and one of them is going to win our prize drawing, the newly-released portable DVD player by Panasonic. Everyone else is still giving away a digital camera and is about six months behind the curve of what I’m doing (a trade show guy takes pride in having a unique and interesting prize for each event).

I end up having lunch with the controller, which is fine with me. Other people will push to get to the top person and hope for a reference downward, a decent strategy when you can pull it off.  But you still need to be able to start with the person who really runs things, and a controller is a better bet for that. The CFO might give you a list of twenty people who you then need to contact.  If you get to the right one first and win them over, then maybe you’ve made a sale. On the other hand, the controller might be the right person straight off the bat.

After lunch there’s another series of sessions and, when I check my voice mail, I find there’s a message from Tatiana. Her voice is mellifluous and warms my heart as she tells me about one of our executives who’s speaking next week at a conference. Even the most competent executive needs to be watched over. There are tasks that either evade or exceed their comprehension. The four emails I’ve sent him earlier are no longer at the top of his mailbox, so I’ll send a new one for clarification.

Often, the senior executive develops a conflict in his schedule and can no longer be available to speak. I’m then called on to present on his behalf. So while I’m not a regular speaker on the circuit, roughly twice a month I present on a topic I know little about. The first time this happened I’m sure several people asked for a conference refund. By now I am one of the highest-scored speakers on evaluations.

Back in my room I connect to the telephone and hear the connection signal letting me know I can turn on my email. I hope for the day when this is a faster process as it only takes seconds for me to find the email in question and forward it.

There is also a note from Tatiana hoping I am well and safe, and reminding me to call her when I have the chance to talk about our user conference.

Aside from my duties as the ambassador of software, I am also responsible for the coordination of a third of the program at the annual Comp-U-Soft Users Conference. This is the 10th anniversary of bringing all of our customers to one location to feed them, educate them, and make them feel loyal, grateful, and beholden to us. We are only expecting six hundred people. Two years ago the board split off a segment of the product that specialized in retail software. This also reduced the number of customers by two-thirds.

Tatiana and I will arrive in Orlando on that Friday, and I look forward to our time together.  In the afternoon, we’ll meet with the hotel’s convention planner and walk through the details of what they call a “BEO” (or banquet event order) as well as work out any last minute changes with vendors. This will be followed by dinner and conversation long into the night. Then back to reality in the morning when the other members of our team arrive for set-up and I have to share Tatiana with the rest of the world again.

Chapter 3

My 11:35 AM flight from ATL to SAN is on schedule. ATL, Atlanta’s Hartsfield airport, is the largest and busiest in North America and competes annually with London’s Heathrow for busiest in the world. SAN, or San Diego is mid-sized but not busy. It’s a very relaxed and welcoming environment.

Atlanta is actually where things started for me. When I was eight, my mother was dating a man—a pretty good guy I guess—who also had a young son. The two of them loved Chex cereal. At the time Republic Airlines was running a promotion with Chex in which you could turn in box tops for a plane ticket.

Maybe he was thinking of asking my mother to marry him and wanted to see if the two of us would get along.  Anyway he exchanged Chex box tops for a ticket to Atlanta where I joined him for a week. Sitting in the executive lounge, reflecting on this story, I have to say those were different times in America. No one in her right mind today would send her eight year old off on an airplane to spend a week in a hotel with a strange man. After his meetings, we’d get something to eat, climb Stone Mountain, see local attractions. Otherwise I sat in the hotel room. I’d planned to swim, but the staff wouldn’t allow an unaccompanied child in the pool. Furthermore, the hotel was circled by a vast parking lot and back home I wasn’t allowed to cross the street.

Turner Cable was pretty new at the time, so I ended up watching the James Bond movie “For Your Eyes Only,” twice a day, every day that week. I still know the entire script by heart.

The girl in the seat next to me is blonde, in her earlier twenties, and excited. She smiles as she looks out the window at the luggage crew.

The plane fills and we get as comfortable as possible. Attendants are walking up and down the aisle with last minute pushes to overhead compartments or reminders to tighten our seatbelts.

She seems a bit worried when I look up from my book and smile.

“Hi, my name is Peter,” I calmly say.

“I’m Megan.”

“Is San Diego your final destination?”

“Yeah, my sister Annie is stationed there.  She’s in the Navy.”

“That’s great. When was the last time you got to see one another?”

“Christmas.”

“And what do you do? Are you in the Navy?”

“No,” she says as if I were silly to think it. “I work in a doctor’s office.”

And with this sentence, it begins. Her nerves evaporate; she’s concentrating on the moment. I’m a nice guy who will listen, and she’d like to tell her story. Between Annie and herself, there’s a middle sister, Danielle. She and Danielle share the same parents while Annie has a different father. The three of them were raised by different adults—Danielle was raised by their father, Megan by their grandmother, and Annie was raised by her mother.

Megan is a single mom who still dates her baby’s father, a Filipino who wants them to live with his mother in the Philippine tradition of keeping a family together under one roof. She’s been working at the doctor’s office for about eight months now and has decided to go back to school so she can be a nurse. In fact, she’s brought along some nursing books and wants to share them with me, which she does for a good hour. Unfortunately, she works for a gynecologist and the full color photos and diagrams, along with her narration, are much more than I am prepared to view on an airplane.

About an hour before the plane lands, Megan returns to the story of her life. In detail she tells me that her father was a bum who couldn’t pay a bill on time. Once her mother died, it was a difficult choice to make, but she went with her grandmother while Danielle was independent enough to live with their father. Only in the last two years had the three sisters begun to grow closer, after the birth of Megan’s son. Annie and Danielle wanted to be good aunts. The photos from her purse prove how great a kid he is.

After the plane lands, as I gather my things and make my way up the bridge to the gate, she calls for me to slow down. She explains that someone is going to meet her in baggage, but she needs to find the right carousel. I point my new friend in the proper direction, tell her to look for the signs, and politely say it’s been a long trip and I need to wash my hands.

Eight minutes later when I emerge from the men’s room she’s standing like a lost puppy by a trash can just outside. “Where were you?” she scolds.

“I was in the men’s room, like I said.”

“Well let’s go, I don’t want to miss my ride.”

“You’re going to be okay.”

I escort her to the baggage claim at the bottom of the escalator and help her grab her bags. We walk over to the circle where cars pick up passengers who have just arrived. Within seconds of stepping outside she becomes worried again; this new experience is more than she bargained for.

I write my cell number on the back of my business card and tell her, “Listen, your ride’s going to be here. It’s just going to take a second for you two to connect. But if you don’t see your ride in an hour, just call my cell phone. I’ll come get you; we’ll figure this out. My hotel is five minutes away.”

She seems relieved by this. Still, I stand with her to make certain she’s going to be okay. After ten minutes, a very fit and confident woman calls Megan’s name; it’s Annie.

Megan acts as if she’s been rescued from prison.  “Annie, this is Peter.  He was on the flight with me. Peter, this is my sister Annie.”

“Hi, Peter,” Annie says.

I shake hands with number 1,000,428. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Thanks for waiting with Megan; she can get turned around.”

“My pleasure. I should thank Megan for keeping me company on that long flight.”  I turn to her.  “I hope you complete school as you plan to.”

“I will, Peter.”

The two sisters, now reunited, hug and are off for their adventures. I am alone once more and get in the taxi line. Within minutes I’m at my hotel, checked in, unpacked, and ready for the next conference.

… Continued…

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by Paul Michael Peters
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KND Freebies: The fascinating PRESSING MY LUCK: A DOCTOR’S LOTTERY JOURNEY, featured in today’s Free Kindle Nation Shorts excerpt

25 straight 5-star reviews!
OK, we all fantasize…
But can you imagine actually winning the lottery jackpot?
Neither could physician Shirley Press, but that’s exactly what happened to her in 2001. It ended up changing her life in the most unexpected of ways, both big and small, trivial and profound — and she tells us all about it in this
“insightful, witty” memoir.
5.0 stars – 25 Reviews
Text-to-Speech: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

In 2001, Dr. Shirley Press was your typical, hard-working pediatric emergency room doctor — until she won 56 million dollars (17.5 million take home) in the Florida Lottery with a ticket bought in the hospital’s gift shop. This stroke of luck brought with it numerous challenges as well as self-discovery.

In her memoir, PRESSING MY LUCK, Dr. Press takes readers on a tour of her life and candidly looks back on how the lottery windfall affected it. She recalls her childhood in Camden, New Jersey growing up with parents who were Holocaust survivors, her determination to become successful, the wild 1970 summer adventure at Paul McCartney’s house and the years dedicated to practicing medicine. And despite her lottery fortune, she reveals how money didn’t shield her family from life’s adversities, such as her husband’s near fatal illness and her son’s drug addiction.

With insight and candor, Dr. Press recounts her decisions, daily struggles as well as post-lottery observations on family, friends and life in general. In the end, Dr. Press can hardly believe that most of her confidence and personal growth that she thought was due to winning the Lotto could have been achieved without all the money.

Praise for Pressing My Luck:

Pressing My Luck chronicles an extraordinary life filled with twists, turns, defeats and triumphs and is ultimately a tale of a remarkable woman.” — filmmaker Jill Bauer

Inspiring memoir…
“Who in his or her lifetime has not fantasized about winning the lottery? would it solve our problems? In her fascinating new memoir, Dr Shirley Press addresses this issue honestly and candidly, and we clearly learn that even a huge amount of money is not a panacea for all of life’s ills…”

an excerpt from

PRESSING MY LUCK:
A Doctor’s Lottery Journey

by Shirley Press

FOREWORD:

First Impressions

When I was helping my mother move to an independent living facility we had to part with many of her things. She was going from a 2,200 square foot house to a 700 square foot apartment. At the time, I thought about what is left behind at the end of one’s life besides memories and photographs. My mother is a Holocaust survivor. Her life story is preserved in video interviews conducted by two organizations that document the lives of those who survived the horrors of Nazi Germany. These videotapes are her legacy. Her life is inspiring. While my life pales in comparison, I also would like to share and inspire. Plain and simple, that’s why I’ve written this book.

After diagnosing otitis media (ear infection) over 15,000 times, I came to the conclusion that I am more than ready to try something new. Summoning the perseverance that saw me through medical school and residency in pediatrics, I applied myself to writing this book (although, it has actually taken me longer to finish than the four years of medical school). This work contains a lifetime of thoughts, experiences and perhaps some of my ego demanding its due after years of being suppressed by my shyness.

In a nutshell, this is my life. There are happy days, funny events, depressing and desperate times, revelations and a lot of coincidences. It’s a convoluted American dream in a lot of ways. Between the lines, I seek to find my special place and purpose in this world. One of my biggest fears in life is be unmemorable or invisible.

Like many aspiring authors, I’ve been writing this book for much longer than I ever expected. To bend a well-known phrase; dying is easy; it’s writing that’s tough. Sometimes, I have ideas that evaporate before I write them down. I’m still working as a physician. I get distracted by life which consumes the time I vowed to dedicate to my book.

However, I finally got the jolt I needed when I was required to take a vision test and renew my driver’s license a few years ago. As the clerk handed me my new license, I asked, “When do I have to renew again?”  She replied, “Eight years.” I was aghast. In eight years, I was going to be 66. I knew it was time to reinvent myself. I made a resolution not to waste any more time. Of course, this is impossible, but I am trying.

I considered writing a memoir before I won the lottery. There was my chance encounter with the essence of Paul McCartney, a total fantasy for a die-hard Beatles fan, though I couldn’t see that it would amount to much more than a three to four page story. Then I considered writing about the Pediatric ER and learning more about my parents’ early lives. However, with working long hours and raising a family, I never found the time. I thought I’d get to it when I went part-time or retired.

Then it happened. In 2001, I was your typical, hardworking, pediatric emergency room doctor … until I won 56 million dollars (17.5 million take home) in the Florida Lottery with a ticket that I bought in the hospital’s gift shop. It gave me the time needed to write and it cast a new light on everything. There have been unintended consequences to winning the lottery and the money has not prevented my family from facing despairing times. Yet the lottery has led to new experiences, such as wading into the South Florida charity scene, figuring out how to fend off scammers, meeting new people and harboring the admittedly juvenile feelings of payback that come into play. The win has also enabled me to expand my life and perspective in surprising ways.

As a little girl, I always dreamed about being rich, or rather, dreamed about not being poor. I thought if I was driven – studied hard, earned college scholarships, and picked the right career – I would be successful. And that’s what happened. By the time I was 50, I had pretty much accomplished my goals, but also felt resigned that most of my major adventures were behind me. Then, my secret fantasy came true – I won the lottery. My polyester life turned to silk.

So I hope people will enjoy sharing my adventures and perhaps learn something along the way. I want the lessons learned in my life to be part of my legacy. With my writing, I hope to make a lasting impression.

1.  Ticket To Ride

As a doctor I’m well aware that the unexpected doesn’t come pre-announced. A person doesn’t wake up in the morning thinking, I’m going to wind up in the emergency room today or I’m going to have a car sideswipe me as I cross the street at lunchtime. As it turns out, the same thing is true when good fortune pulls up a seat at your dinner table.

I was aware that there would be a drawing on the night of September 5, 2001 for what was at that point the largest lottery jackpot in Florida’s history. I fully intended to buy a few tickets that day, as I did nearly every week, but I wasn’t sure I’d be able to fit it in. I worked a short shift in the ER that morning treating patients, took a mandatory course on blood borne pathogens right after that, and then had to race back to my office to deal with the mountain of paperwork that had been collecting all day.

At the time, I was the director of a pediatric emergency department and surprisingly many people were under the impression that I did nothing but attend meetings from nine to five. Besides seeing patients, the endlessly growing pile of documents to review, messages to read and calls to return attested to something very different. After I completed the course, I needed immediate documentation of my attendance so I had to take extra time after the class was over to get that from the lecturer. I really didn’t have a spot in my schedule to buy lottery tickets, but since I played the lottery so often, it seemed ludicrous for me not to participate in such an enormous jackpot.

The sprawling Jackson Memorial Hospital complex included an arcade with a variety of shops, including a gift shop that sold the tickets. I ducked in on my way back from the lecture and sighed heavily when I saw a line of around 10 people ahead of me, all waiting for the single cashier to help them out. This gift shop was never crowded, even when the hospital was very busy. It became immediately apparent that the huge lottery drawing was the reason everyone was lined up here that day.

“I’m gonna get myself a gigantic house when I win,” said one woman to another while they waited.

“I’m gonna have steak every night,” the other replied dreamily.

The man in front of them turned in their direction. “I have my eyes on a Maserati. A black one with lots of chrome.”

They all grinned and continued to expand on their fantasies. I could tell from their ID badges that they were workers at the hospital. A part of me wanted to join in on their musing, but I didn’t. I was wearing a lab coat and was obviously a doctor, and they probably figured I didn’t belong in the line in the first place. Most people, even those who work closely with us, are under the impression that all doctors are wealthy. Even though that’s far from true, I felt a little bit out of place.

“I’m gonna get my kids back,” said the woman directly in front of me. Everyone turned in her direction. She told the group that she’d lost her six children due to neglect, but that once she hit it big on the lottery, the family would be together again. That sounded better to me than throwing a few hundred thousand after a car, though the mention of neglect made me wonder if any amount of money could make that family whole.

I didn’t consider what I would do with all the cash. Since I’d never won anything in my life, and the odds of winning that night’s drawing were one in twenty million, I assumed my losing streak would continue. I just liked to play. What I did think about was everything I had to do when I got back to my office, along with wondering about crises that might have emerged in my absence. The woman behind the counter was doing the best she could, but she seemed to be moving very slowly. Twice while I was waiting, I considered getting out of the line, but I stood my ground. Once I got close enough to see that the store had York Peppermint Patties in stock that day – they’re my favorite candy – my resolve strengthened.

When it was finally my turn, I put a Peppermint Patty on the counter and asked for six Quick Pick tickets. I’d read somewhere that more people won the lottery by having the computer randomly spit out numbers than by choosing their own, so I always played this way. I stuck the tickets with my six sets of numbers in my lab coat pocket, opened the candy wrapper and headed back up to work.

As anticipated, there was a tremendous amount of work for me to attend to when I got back to my office. I literally had to squeeze in a full day’s worth of administrative duties in the few hours I had left that afternoon. The tickets as well as that evening’s Lotto drawing were soon forgotten.

When I got home, a different swirl of activity awaited me. A quick family dinner. Coaxing my teenaged kids through their homework. Relaxing in front of the television for a while. Taking care of a few household chores. At some point, the drawing for the largest lottery jackpot in Florida history happened but it was the furthest thing from my mind.

“Dr. Press, did you hear that someone from Jackson won the lottery?” a nurse said to me as I walked into the clean utility room the next morning.

“Wow,” I said, my eyes widening. “Who is it?”

“No one knows. The winner hasn’t come forward yet. All we know is that the winning ticket came from the gift shop.”

I wondered if it could have been one of my line mates. Maybe it was the woman with the six kids. I continued to assume it wasn’t me, because I didn’t have that kind of luck. In fact, though I’d been playing the Florida lottery for as long as I could remember, I’d never had a winning of more than nine dollars.

Several others joined us at that point, and the speculation began on who it might be and what it was going to do to their lives. As the conversation continued, I tried to imagine how sudden wealth would affect someone.

“That person is going to be such an oddball,” I said during a lull. “They’re not going to be able to fit in anywhere.”

As the day went on, a rumor gained momentum that Carl in the key shop was the winner. He hadn’t come to work and this was clearly an indicator that he’d cashed in and was off scouting a beachfront mansion. When he came in a few hours later, the speculation moved on. It was fascinating to see how this story captivated my colleagues. At some point, some new information broke: the winner had bought six tickets at the gift shop yesterday.

That was the first time I started to consider the possibility that I could be the winner. Surely, I wasn’t the only person who’d bought exactly six tickets at the gift shop yesterday. Still, it narrowed down the crowd. Of course, I could have ended the mystery by checking my tickets, but I thought I’d left them at home on my desk not realizing that I had been spending the entire day with the equivalent of fifty-six million dollars in my lab coat pocket.

The hospital was swirling with activity and I wound up working late. By the time I got home, my husband and children had eaten already. I went upstairs to check my desk where I always left the tickets. The tickets weren’t where I thought I’d left them, which gave me a little surge of panic. I could not find them. I raced around the house like a cat on catnip frantically looking for the tickets. As much as I’d convinced myself that I couldn’t possibly be the winner, the chance was still there. What if I’d managed to misplace the winning ticket? I looked through my pocketbook. There were Tic Tacs, Double Mint Gum and salt packets but no tickets. I gave up and sat down for dinner, reading that morning’s Miami Herald and eating my microwaved Stouffer’s frozen entrée. I mused again on the possibility of being the winner since no one had come forward to claim the gigantic jackpot and then quickly reminded myself that this kind of luck didn’t run in my family. The biggest prize any of us had ever landed was the case of baked beans my father had won many years ago at a grocer’s picnic.

During the meal, I had a fleeting thought that the tickets could quite possibly be in my lab coat. Once I finished dinner I found my lab coat hanging on the hall tree. Of course! I reached into a pocket and pulled out the ticket. Search over. They had been in the top pocket the entire time and I had not even bothered to look at them.

I got the morning paper and went through my usual ticket checking routine. I covered the last three numbers of the six rows of numbers and checked the first three against the newspaper. I did this every week, because the only way a person could be a big winner was to have these first three numbers match. Otherwise, the payouts were tiny (in other words, the kinds of payouts that I knew). Of course, my numbers never matched. However, this week was an exception. The first three numbers of the winner were 3, 9, and 10. One of my rows of numbers on the ticket started with 3, 9, and 10.

My heart jumped just a little. A fleeting thought hit. “Wow, could it be?” I knew the tickets were sold in the gift shop. I knew that there was one winner. I knew– stop it — I laughed out loud at the thought. Never, not me!

    I froze; my heart was pounding not wanting to reveal the second three numbers. I chuckled again and uncovered them – 24, 33, and 35. I must have looked like a Looney Tunes cartoon character with my eyes bugging out. They were wandering left to right to left to right, focusing on the newspaper and then back to the ticket. They matched. Then I checked it again and again. My eyes weren’t playing tricks on me: the numbers in the paper matched the numbers on my ticket. I was the winner of the $56.37 million dollar jackpot!

My legs felt wobbly as I made my way down to the family room, trying to remain as calm as possible.

“Um, Bill, I think I won the lottery,” I said to my husband.

He looked away from the television and tipped his head toward me. “You’re tired, Shirley. You didn’t win the lottery.”

I had the ticket and the newspaper in my hand and I held it out to him. “I’m pretty sure I did.”

My daughter Sarah was sitting on the couch with him. With a groan, she got up and came over to me, taking the items from my hands. She examined both carefully and then did a double take.

Then she screamed at such a volume that I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t call the police.

“She won! She won! Mom won!”

When she started screaming, I started screaming, as though I hadn’t entirely believed it myself until I had a second opinion. My son Gershon got up to join us, needing to confirm this for himself. When he did, he started screaming as well. Someone listening upstairs might have thought that our family room floor had suddenly turned into a pit of snakes. That would have been a more likely scenario than the one that was actually playing out.

Bill had no choice now but to acknowledge that this was not a product of my tired eyes. He examined the paper and the ticket himself and his face went white. For the next several minutes, all he could say was, “Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?”

This lightheaded moment lasted for at least fifteen minutes. Finally, though, it dawned on us that we had no idea what to do next. Obviously, we couldn’t take the ticket over to the gift shop for redemption. Something told me that they didn’t have fifty-six million dollars in their cash register. Having no better plan, we called Michael Dribin, a former neighbor and the only attorney we knew. Though we used to live only a couple of houses away from each other, we’d never really become friends. We’d say hello at the synagogue on occasion, but that was about it. As a result, it took a minute for Michael to remember us. Of course, what we told him after that guaranteed that he’d never forget us again.

Michael naturally had no experience with the procedures involved in collecting a huge lottery jackpot. However, he said he could make some calls for us and that he would get back to us as soon as he could.

We got off the phone and waited. I was rippling with energy, not sure what to do with myself. I’d had several life defining experiences like my father’s death when I was 18, graduating medical school, having children, but nothing I’d gone through in the past prepared me for something like this.

“We’re going to be millionaires,” I said, shaking my head in wonder.

Gershon seemed especially pleased about this. “Now I can finally get my own car,” said my seventeen year old. Sarah talked excitedly while Bill just seemed dumbstruck. I knew exactly how he felt.

Michael called back an hour later, though it felt as though days had passed. He told us that we had to photocopy the front and back of the ticket, put the original in a safe deposit box, and give him the copy so he could start the verification process with the state. It was too late to do any of this that night, so we had no choice but to set the entire winning-the-lottery thing aside for the rest of the night. It goes without saying that I had more than a little trouble getting to sleep. I took the ticket to bed with me.

The next morning, Bill and I arrived at the Miami Beach Public Library a half-hour before it opened. As we waited, I grew increasingly anxious. I imagined that everyone could tell that we had a massively valuable piece of paper in our possession and that there were muggers lurking behind every corner. When the doors finally opened, we dashed to the photocopy machine only to learn that we couldn’t get the thing to work. In increasingly louder whispers, Bill and I tried to coach each other through the process, but we failed. Finally, feeling horribly conspicuous, we asked for assistance. When two members of the library staff also struggled, I felt a little better. Still, I couldn’t help imagining one of these people – who were probably scrupulously honest – making a mad dash with our ticket.

A third staff member finally got the machine to work for us and we had our photocopies. If any of the people who assisted us had any idea of what we were copying, they gave no indication of it. So much for the neon sign reading “new lottery millionaire” I imagined flashing on and off above my head.

We secured the ticket in our safe deposit box and then brought a copy to Michael. He looked at the document as though it were a rare coin or an alien life form. This was definitely not what he thought he’d be dealing with this week when he woke up yesterday morning. It was Friday morning September 7 and the weekend was rapidly approaching.

“I’ll get to work on this right away,” he said. “Meanwhile, don’t tell anyone about it until I find out more from the state.”

How does one keep this kind of secret completely to one’s self? I couldn’t possibly do it. As soon as I got to a phone, I delivered the news to my mother and sister. My sister responded with the ecstatic screaming I’d become so familiar within the last twelve hours.

My mother didn’t scream, though. She listened to what I was telling her very calmly and then said, “Oh, I knew we would win one day. I always thought it was going to be me.” It became clear to me immediately that she wasn’t talking about winning something in a vague sense; she’d genuinely imagined that one day she would win the lottery. That it had, as she put it, “skipped a generation” just meant that her vision had been off by the slightest bit. This fascinated me, and I’ve subsequently noticed it from many other people with modest financial means. It’s a sense that things are going to get exponentially better soon. I suppose that’s encouraging in a way, even though it’s nothing but an illusion for most. It certainly worked out for my mother.

Work that day was a complete blur. People were of course still speculating about Jackson’s big winner, and I did my best to participate in a few of these conversations to keep suspicion away from me. Fortunately, I had that ever present pile of paperwork to deal with in addition to my usual administrative duties. These gave me something else to concentrate on, and I did my best to throw myself into my work.

The next day was a Saturday and I had lunch scheduled with my friend Cheryl Levin. I’d known Cheryl for a long time, and I was sure she could read something into my fidgeting and distraction. I tried to keep up my end of the conversation, but I’m guessing that I did a lousy job of it and that Cheryl could tell that something was on my mind.

I’d picked Cheryl up for lunch. On the car ride back to her place, she said, “Did you hear that someone from Jackson won the Lotto?”

“Yeah, I know,” I said. “Everyone’s talking about it.”

She leaned toward me. “Was it you?”

“No,” I said, waving the thought away casually. Inside, though, I felt awful about lying to a good friend. I switched subjects quickly and hoped that Cheryl would think nothing of it.

Bill and I had a dinner date that evening with our friends Kay and Leo Edelsberg, who we’d known forever. As we ate, I wondered if my winning the lottery was going to change our relationship. That would have been devastating to me, and I vowed to do everything in my power to prevent money from driving a wedge between us and our close friends and family.

Not telling them the news was driving me crazy, and I could tell that Bill was equally tormented. We kept sharing wary glances across the table. I thought we were keeping this between us, but when we insisted on picking up the check, we crossed a line.

“Okay, something is going on,” Kay said, looking in my direction.

I glanced up at Bill, and he rolled his eyes, which I took as his permission.

I chuckled and then turned to Kay. “We won the lottery.”

Kay’s eyes exploded out of their sockets. “The big one?”

I shook my head and let out a little squeal. Our friends were all over us at that point. I was so glad they were reacting this way. I was worried they might be jealous or might suddenly feel awkward around us. Of course, they had no problem with our picking up the check after that.

I felt guilty about Cheryl. I called her that night and left a message for her to call back. When she phoned the next day, I was out food shopping.

Bill answered the phone and said, “Shirley feels really guilty that she lied to you.”

“About what?” a bewildered Cheryl replied.

“She won,” Bill said.

“Oh my God, oh my God,” yelled Cheryl.

On Sunday September 9, we had a barbecue to attend at the home of another ER doctor. Why couldn’t this have been one of those weekends where we had nothing to do? For the third time in two days, I had to navigate through a social event without spouting off about our new fortune. In some ways it should have been easier to keep my mouth shut in this setting, since we were with colleagues rather than close friends. However, it turned out to be much harder. The conversation at the barbecue continued to revolve around who bought the winning ticket at our gift shop. One of the doctors in attendance inadvertently took some of the pressure off of me when he suggested to several people at the party that he had a big announcement to make the next day. Word spread immediately around the gathering that this doctor might be  the big winner, and I certainly didn’t do anything to allay those rumors. And there I was wondering what could his secret be?  The next morning, he told everyone that he was stepping down from his role as the Director of the Medical Emergency Room to focus on being an ER attending physician.

I somehow managed to get through that Monday without the big neon sign above my head creating a frenzy at the hospital. Then, shortly after I got home from work, Michael called.

“You’ve been confirmed,” he said, meaning that the state acknowledged that we seemed to have a legitimate claim to the winnings based on the appearance of the photocopy and the written statement we’d included about how I’d bought the ticket. The next step was for us to bring the ticket to the lottery offices in Tallahassee for official confirmation. Michael told Bill that he was booking flights for us for Wednesday morning, and that he would accompany us. When Bill hung up, the four of us started screaming again. Now, we just had to make it until Wednesday.

That was the evening of September 10, 2001. By the next morning, no one was speculating on the Florida lottery winner anymore.

So much has been written already about people’s reactions to 9/11, and certainly there was nothing unusual about my own reaction to the horror. I was about a block away from my house when I heard the news, and I turned around so I could watch some of the coverage at home. It soon dawned on me that the hospital would be on alert during a crisis of this magnitude and I got back in my car to get to my office quickly. As I drove, I felt tremendously guilty. I’d been blessed by an incredible stroke of luck, but many good people had just been killed by fortune’s dark twin.

The lottery wasn’t on anyone’s mind that day. We all tried to push through with our work, but doing so felt harder than it had ever felt before. I remember almost nothing about the day at the hospital except for one notable exchange. One of our patients, Michelle, was receiving a round of treatment for leukemia at the clinic. She’d been undergoing treatment for a while, and her mother Tracye and I had become friendly. Tracye was understandably anxious about her little girl’s condition. That day, I went to visit them at the clinic.

While doctors treated Michelle, Tracye and I sat in pint-sized chairs and talked about what had happened in New York, DC, and Pennsylvania. Tracye, who was already carrying the nearly unbearable burden of her daughter’s illness, seemed positively weighed down by this new tragedy.

“Man, I could really use some good news today,” she said.

Something told me that sharing with Tracye was the right thing to do. We both needed a tiny glimmer of light during that dark day. As guilty as I felt and as concerned as I was about Tracye’s taking it the wrong way, I told her about my winning the lottery.

Tracye screamed and jumped for joy. She hugged and kissed me, and we both began to cry. Tracye told me that this was the best thing she’d heard in a long time and that she thought I was  deserving of it. I had no idea how anyone deserved to win the lottery, but I was thrilled with her reaction. It made this mournful day a little less awful. (Michelle and Tracye’s story has a happy ending. The treatment worked, and Michelle remains cancer-free. She went on to college and has recently started working as a nurse. Tracye and I are still friends ten years later.)

Michael called that night to talk about our trip to Tallahassee. He said there was never going to be a good time to travel over the next few weeks and that we may as well get it over with. All air traffic was grounded for almost a week. We decided to drive instead. Michael was unable to accompany us so he referred us to an attorney friend of his in that area.

Two days later, Bill and I headed off on the most unexpected road trip of our lives. Being a little suspicious that someone might be following us, Bill decided to rent a car instead of using our own. With map in hand (no GPS back then), we made our way on the arduous ten hour drive to Tallahassee with paranoia as our constant companion. What if someone was following us? I kept my eye on the road the whole time, looking for stalkers. We purposely stayed overnight at a Holiday Inn. After all, what kind of millionaire would choose a Holiday Inn? I kept the original ticket clutched tightly in my hand and made sure that the hotel door would never be opened. No room service that night!

The following morning we arrived in Tallahassee and met with Michael’s attorney friend at the lottery office to claim the reward. It was a surreal experience. Though it was business as usual for the lottery workers, I felt like I was a criminal being interrogated in the Twilight Zone.

It was a step-by-step process. First, I was escorted into a cold, non-descript room where I had to tell my story over and over again. Then, a revolving door of people came in and out of the room, grilling me and making me repeat the same details. They said they needed to be certain that the story was consistent, the facts unwavering. It was essential for me to prove that I was the winner and convince lottery officials that I did not steal this ticket from anyone else. That day became the first of more than 500 times I have told my story and I never tire of it.

The winning ticket was taken from me for verification. I was nervous to give it up. The word here is that I was having the fantods. The English language has a word for almost anything. “Fantods” is a great one, a 19th century term, possibly related, dictionaries say, to fantastic and fantasy and fatigue. It perfectly describes the weird state of nervous irritability that overtook me. I was told that the ticket was going to be put under an electron microscope to make sure that it was the real thing, not a copy or a fake. The ticket has precise imbedded microscopic imprints to show that it is genuine. Knowing I was a physician, the examiner let me view the ticket under the microscope. Each ticket has built-in unique markings of squiggly lines, different valleys and distinctive colors the naked eye cannot see.

We were told to go get lunch. Our lawyer regaled us with stories so the time passed more quickly. I was so wound up that I couldn’t eat.

We went back to the offices and while waiting for the confirmation process to be completed, I was cold and shaking. I was afraid that it would turn out to be just a wishful dream. I envisioned a person coming out and saying, “Dr. Press, I’m sorry there’s been a mistake and you are not the winner.”

I kept saying to Bill, “Is this really happening?”

After some time, a man came out and led us to another room. He stated nonchalantly that my ticket was verified. That was it? My heart was pounding and that’s all he said? Yes, that was it.

I was then given stacks of forms to fill out. I was told this was also needed for verification, but could not understand the necessity for so much legalese. This is proof positive why we needed to have an attorney with us.

I was given a choice of taking the winnings over a 20-year period or as a lump sum. The attorney recommended taking the immediate payout. He said if the state were ever to go  bankrupt, it could theoretically default on the long-term payments of the winnings. The reality of that decision quickly took hold as the win was reduced to $28.8 million, approximately 50 percent of the total. Additionally, we had to pay 39 percent or $11.2 million of the reduced amount directly to the federal government in income taxes. And we were lucky to live in Florida, which does not have a state income tax.

After all this, the actual in-pocket amount of winnings came to $17.56 million. We basically received about 31 percent of the winning total. I was surprised, but who’s complaining? It was still much more than my husband and I would ever earn over a lifetime.

Michael had already assembled what seemed to be an army of financial experts prepared to guide us through the process of setting up bank accounts and wiring the money into those accounts. Essentially, we became members of a private bank. As confusing as all of this was, I was in no position to argue. My head was spinning with all this new information. I remember my head throbbing probably from my migraine headaches or alternatively it could have been just stress. It was a whirlwind of data to absorb. I was feeling uneasy about it all.

Ironically, I came home from the lottery office with no money from the winnings. It takes days to access the money, so you leave with pretty much the same funds you had before the win. However, you are given a gigantic fake check as a souvenir.

As soon as I left, the state issued press releases on the radio, newspaper and television. I was informed that the press releases are mandatory in order to claim the winnings. There is the Sunshine Law in Florida, which effectively states that the agencies of the state must provide access to any person to view public records. The Florida Lotto is a business and the people running it urged me to do more publicity than the minimum required. I declined. They told me I was an atypical winner, being a physician, and I could encourage more professionals to buy tickets. I would have preferred no publicity at all because of privacy concerns. Due to September 11, the media’s focus was probably reduced although The Miami Herald wrote a positive story about my winning the lottery. Of course, the horror of the Twin Towers tragedy overshadowed everything and rightfully so. Under normal circumstances, I appreciate publicity for accomplishments as much as the next guy but this was different. It was for a random, public event.

We hired two off-duty Miami Beach police officers to stay outside the house for the first few nights. I went back to work Monday, September 17 – and yes, I still work and never thought of quitting. Being a physician is part of my identity. The entire ER staff was all over me with congratulations and well wishes. For that one day, I felt like Bill Gates.

The doctor who stepped down from his position, came up to me and congratulated me. “You are a better poker player than I am,” he said, for hiding the secret.

“Now don’t you go getting that rich girl look,” teased head ER nurse Gloria McSwain, a longtime friend and colleague, no doubt conjuring up a mental picture of plastic surgery and Botox.

Some people said it was God’s will that I won because of the good I’ve done helping people, like the employee, whose daughter I saved by correctly diagnosing Kawasaki’s Disease. (John Travolta’s son was said to have suffered from this as well.) I do not agree. Far too many people do good work and don’t hit the jackpot. If that was true, we would be a country filled with rich do-gooders and the bad guys would be poor.

There was a lot of reaction at the hospital and at home. Most of it was good and supportive. There were many congratulations, mazel tovs, emails, calls and cards. Even weeks and months later, people would come up to me and hug me. Some wanted my luck to rub off on them.

There was some jealousy as well, which can be expected. I can understand this. Some people said it wasn’t fair that I won because I was already comfortable in life. This is true. Life isn’t fair.

I, on the other hand, actually felt bad about feeling good at the time. This for me was mixed emotions – a familiar feeling. I kept thinking of the victims of Sept. 11 as well as other tragedies of life and here I was a newly cropped millionaire. Ambivalence is commonplace.

And there were lots and lots of solicitations. People came out of the woodwork selling all kinds of stuff like boats, cars, land deals, and oil wells. Stockbrokers promised incredible returns.

And there were troubling incidents as well. Two days after I returned to work, a man called the Pedi-ER. He asked if I was Dr. Press. I did not recognize the voice.

“Who are you?” I said.

“I’m going to get you,” he threatened, then hung up.

I was taken back. Did that really happen? Yes. Am I in danger? Probably. I was in the public domain for that time. Needless to say, this really scared me. I was shaken.

Driving home one night, a couple of weeks later, my brakes failed. I thought I would crash. My husband told me to drive slowly and carefully to the house. Brian, our mechanic, discovered the next day that the brake lines had been tampered with. I hope randomly. I was frightened coming off the heels of the phone call. Again, I was shocked. The person may have wanted just to scare me but I could have been killed. I was put on guard.

Months passed without incident. I sifted through the offers. There were those looking to make a quick buck. Others were truly in need. One of our first requests for money came from Bill’s Aunt Margie and Uncle Bobby. Their daughter Toby, Bill’s first cousin, was fighting lymphoma and needed a stem cell transplant. She was a teacher in Austin, Texas and her health insurance denied coverage for this treatment, then considered experimental. Without a second thought, we immediately guaranteed the payment to the hospital. Tragically, Toby died a few days before the scheduled transplant. We were heartbroken. This was real life, not a made-for-TV movie.

Our priority remains giving first to family and friends. I have always believed in sharing, now more than ever. My list of favorite charities grows longer. It may be surprising, although not to my children, that I’ve yet to go on a wild spending spree. “Be sensible,” I told myself. Sure, I’ve bought a few trinkets and stayed in deluxe hotels when I travel. However, frivolous spending is not in my nature. I often seek out sales when at the mall. I rarely leave a restaurant empty handed. It’s the way I was raised. A life of luxury was pure fantasy. I know what it is to do without.

And I know the role luck plays in everyone’s life. That was clear to me long before six numbers on a piece of paper changed my life forever.

… Continued…

Download the entire book now to continue reading on Kindle!

by Shirley Press, MD
5 stars – 25 reviews!
Kindle Price: $1.99

KND Freebies: Post-apocalyptic thriller NOAH’S ARK is featured in today’s Free Kindle Nation Shorts excerpt

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Noah’s Ark

by Andrew J. Morgan

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Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

Alex Latham had the perfect existence. He had a loving family, a beautiful child and a successful career.Then came the darkness.

When the darkness came, there was nowhere to hide. People ran. But they could not escape. The darkness came and the darkness took them away. Except for one.

Alex thought that he was all that was left. He was wrong.

Praise for Noah’s Ark:

A nail-biting post-apocalyptic novel
“Morgan does an amazing job keeping the reader guessing through numerous twists and turns. … Once the novel gets rolling though, there is no stopping it….full of mystery, nail-biting suspense, intrigue, and thrills. The twist in the end was a beautiful way to end the novel.”

An author to keep in your bookmarks
“…The writing style was so visual, but also so clear — none of those long-winded descriptions that feel so forced.”

an excerpt from

Noah’s Ark

by Andrew J. Morgan

The windscreen wipers flashed back and forth, fighting to clear a view of the dark road ahead. Each raindrop tore down from a sky so black it seemed invisible, the light pollution of the city long gone as Alex Latham tore his way deep into the countryside. All he could see was a small strip of shimmering wet tarmac as the headlamps felt their way along its surface.

Glossy paintwork and metal shone as a layer of brick dust was stripped away by the rain, the fine powder having been laid over the car only a few hours ago, and all in an instant. The tyres worked hard to carve a track through the streams rushing across the road, throwing up rooster-tails behind him that glowed red as they cut the beam of the rear lights.

The rain eased, as did the night, and the first shimmer of morning spilled over the horizon. The hiss of the rain subsided, leaving only the rumble of the tyres and the crackle of the car radio, which continued obliviously searching for a signal.

Alex squinted at the new morning, his dust-covered pyjamas blooming with warmth. A sharp divide between dark and light crept down his blue and white striped torso, revealing a jagged tear, fraying material, grimy skin and a rough, dry patch of red-black that stained the cloth around it.

The soft crackle of the radio strangled into a cacophony as it grasped a signal, before settling down to play a muffled voice. It sounded like a conversation heard through a wall, the voice muted and unintelligible, until the radio screeched again and locked down on a crisp, clear broadcast.

‘– the early hours of the morning –’ said the radio for a brief second, before losing the signal again. Something inside of Alex quivered at the six words that had made it into his car, a subconscious thought that rang alarm bells. He rearranged his grip on the wheel, swatting the involuntary thought away,. The speakers fizzed.

‘– and a half million people are reported dead, and a further million injured –’

It seemed like another world, another time. Alex bit down on his own teeth as the voice from the radio retreated into a muted haze again before disappearing completely, leaving behind nothing but the faint, ambient hiss.

Alex slowed the car, pulling over into a sloppy, mud-streaked layby that looked to have been a grassy bank before the storm, and killed the engine. A weight pressed down upon his entire being, and he leaned back into the creaking seat and shut his eyes. The insides of his eyelids flashed softly red with an impending migraine, but everything that had just happened pulled him down into a pit of unconsciousness.

Chapter 1

A blurred, stiflingly hot dream jarred him awake and he opened his eyes slowly, the skin of his eyelids sticky with sweat and grime. Sunshine radiated from high above, making the car thick with dripping heat, the air slow and difficult to breath.

Leaning his aching body forwards he opened the window enough to let a fresh current of air probe the car and drive the intense microclimate away. With it came the warble of a songbird, calling and waiting, calling and waiting, and a dusty scent of pollen and grass that tickled at his nostrils.

It was all unnervingly pleasant; nature did not know or care what had happened.

Where next? Alex’s head – usually so capable of rational, logical, empirical thought – had no answers or emotions. He couldn’t think forward and he struggled to think back; all he could do was sit and feel the tenderness of the summer air that penetrated the open window and ran lightly across his face. All he could do was keep on driving. Where? It didn’t matter.

He turned the key but nothing happened. The tell-tale glow of the headlight symbol awkwardly flickering on the dash made him realise that the battery was drained, but all he could muster was a feeble moan.

And then it came back. He had run. He could remember that. They had all run but only he had made it out alive. The sky, so blue, so rich now, had shone a deep, blood red, streaked with fiery orange. He had run. Even when they had died, he had run. He had barely even looked back. And now he could remember.

The mist of dust and debris had choked his lungs and blinded his sight, the shaking ground that ripped and cracked beneath him tearing down buildings as though they were only sand castles. He ran, leaving them behind, trapped by rubble. He should have stopped, stayed with them – even died with them – but he hadn’t. He ran on, alone.

Its sudden end was just as unexpected as its violent start; he had been asleep with his wife and his baby barely minutes before, and now he found himself deserted on an alien planet, a dying, flickering glow of red fringing the piles of brick and concrete through the thick, powdery air around him, the crashing and thunder now only hollow, echoing screams that reverberated about the towering pillars of debris.

His hand felt wet; he looked down, watching the thick, red liquid. It had come from his side, a gash that he didn’t even know he had received, but it did not seem life threatening. As the red glow receded into the night, he wandered through the moonlit streets alone, grinding his feet into the scratching fragments of civilisation until he found a miracle – a car, whole, abandoned and with the keys in the ignition, waiting for him with its door open invitingly. His eyes blank and his face long, he had climbed into the car and carried on running.

*  *  *

‘Are you ok?’ a voice tore Alex from his thoughts. A knock of knuckle on glass followed it, and shielding his eyes Alex looked out. A man, portly and short, stood back from the door, silhouetted by the early afternoon sun. He repeated his question, concern tainting his voice.

‘Are you ok? Did you just come from the city? How did you get out alive?’

Alex reached for the door handle, fumbling for it like a drunk trying to enter his home. With a great heave he pulled it and the door unlatched. He leaned in to swing it open, but his bodyweight caught him by surprise and he tipped out after it, cascading onto the ground below.

The portly man rushed forward, bending down awkwardly to help Alex.

‘Are you ok?’ he said for the third time, although his meaning was more immediate. Threading his arm underneath Alex’s, he pressed his spare palm up against the searing hot metal of the car and yelped, letting Alex slip down to the floor in a whimpering heap.

‘I’m so sorry!’ he exclaimed, shaking his scorched hand. He squatted down in front of Alex to heave him up in a clumsy bear hug. Alex tentatively felt for the floor with his feet, as bruised and blistered as they were, and together they moved across the hot-plate tarmac one step at a time. Alex could feel the molten heat separating skin from flesh, but the pain reached a numbing block around his brain that made it tolerable, if not invisible.

The portly man sweated and struggled under Alex’s weight; halfway across the road he stumbled, dropping himself and his burden onto the solid black bitumen. Alex met the floor, connecting and stopping in one blow that shuddered though his skeleton. In between a hollow, ringing echo and a blur of colour and confusion, he felt himself being dragged, then heard the sound of a car’s engine ticking over and catching, the squeal of fast accelerating tyres propelling him forwards.

*  *  *

Pale, glowing lines scored across his vision, left to right and up and down, separating the grey fuzz in front of him. Alex could feel gravity pulling him backwards – or perhaps he was lying down and it was pulling him downwards – and its grasp was unnaturally strong. A thumping nausea swelled in his temples, draining down through his throat and into his stomach with an absorbent spread that soaked his organs. He stared, maybe for minutes or hours, and the more he stared, the more the glowing lines swirled. They churned gradually faster, bending light and space and time towards him in a conical tunnel, and it felt familiar.

*  *  *

‘You need the toilet,’ his brain said, and he woke.

Alex climbed slowly, silently out of bed, each tip-toe across the room sinking into the soft piles of the carpet. The night air was fresh and his body cool, the perfect combination for a good night’s sleep, and he cursed his bladder inwardly for disturbing him as his nonsensical dream withered.

Once in the bathroom, he relieved his protesting bladder as quietly as he could and instinctively thumbed the flush button. He bit his lip as the cascading water rushed from the cistern and drew the contents of the bowl away, listening as the rushing ceased, his tuned ears searching the night air for the sound he didn’t want to hear – crying. The sound did not come, and, thankful for the silence, he washed his hands under a deliberately slow-running tap.

He studied his impression in the mirror, stopping for a moment to pull at the faint creases in his skin and comb through his black hair, searching for the inevitable strands of grey. His mind thought of him as a boy still – playing in the grass in high summer, smooth, pink skin flushing red under the sun, awkwardly-spaced teeth protruding from laughing gums – but his eyes saw a man; a man exhibiting the tell-tale signs of age, and old was what he felt. Sighing, he retreated from the bathroom, clambered back into bed and – without thinking for even a moment about the fast-fading wisp of memory that was his last connection between now and the devastation of the night before – drew himself close to his wife, who lay whole, alive and well under the duvet next to him.

Chapter 2

‘You must understand, Michael, that I am here to help you.’

The psychologist’s voice echoed off the cold, hard walls. He moved to catch his patient’s sea-green eyes across the metal table, but his gaze was purposely avoided. Leaning backwards in his chair, he smoothed down his long, white jacket, his face expressionless, his own eyes searching.

‘What you have done is a very serious thing, Michael, but I am not here to judge you. For us to have any hope of you recovering, we need to make some good, positive steps forwards. Until then, I’m afraid you are just too much of a risk to be anywhere other than here.’ He gestured to the hard, cramped, windowless room around them. ‘And I know you don’t want that.’

Still looking down, his patient spoke.

‘You already know what I think.’

The psychologist’s expressionless face twitched.

‘Michael, you gave a man serious brain haemorrhaging with your violent and uncontrollable behaviour. He died because of it – you know that.’

Michael looked up at the psychologist, manoeuvring his lean frame in his chair.

‘We’ve been through this a hundred times,’ he said, ‘I woke up in the office – I don’t know how I got there – and my head felt like it was going to explode. It wasn’t real, I’m telling you – I can’t explain how or why I know, but I know. It wasn’t real, he wasn’t real …’

The psychologist exasperatedly rearranged the papers on the table in front of him.

‘I want to help you get to the bottom of this Michael, I really do, but I can’t help you if you won’t help me,’ he said, ‘and you aren’t helping me the whole while you convince yourself that what is real isn’t, and what isn’t, is.’

He stood, waving his hand to the open slat in the thick, metal door. It clanked open and several uniformed guards entered to remove the chairs, leaving the slender metal table in the middle of the room fixed to the floor. Michael stood up begrudgingly as one of the tall guards secured his arms, making his own stature feel even shorter. The doctor was walking out through the open door. He stopped, looked at Michael and sighed.

‘We’re going round in circles; I know it, you know it. If you want to spend the rest of your life in here, that’s your choice, but I know you don’t really want that. There is a better life for you outside these walls if you would just co-operate and let us help you.’

Michael shrugged dismissively, the guard’s grip preventing him from doing much else.

‘I’m not going to lie for your benefit,’ he scowled, ‘I know what I saw and I know what I did. You can’t keep me in here forever – it’s not legal and it’s immoral. Anyway, you don’t want my answers, you want my silence, because you know what happened to me and you don’t want anyone else getting wind of what you’ve been doing to people.’

The psychologist retraced his steps to Michael, his previously expressionless face showing the tiniest hint of remorse.

‘Please don’t do this, Michael. You must realise the damage you are causing by not co-operating with us.’

He paused.

‘Having a nervous breakdown is quite common, and delusions are a sad but very real side-effect, especially for a man of a certain disposition –’

Michael lurched forwards towards the psychologist, who flinched. The guard doubled his grip and hauled him back again.

‘I am not of a certain disposition,’ he snarled, ‘I am just a man who has been locked up and forgotten about without fair trial, and you know it. I can’t trust you, and I’m certainly not going to help you. If this is what I get when you need me, coming in here day in, day out to question me, think what you’ll do to me when you’ve got what you want!’

The psychologist looked into Michael’s eyes, as if confirming to himself what he already knew, and smiled sadly. Without another word, he retreated, walking out of the cell without looking back. Once he had gone, the guard holding Michael threw him hard onto the floor and left as well, backing out of the room with a beady eye fixed on Michael’s huddled body. The door creaked shut after him, the bolt sliding into place with a muted clang.

Michael stood up, and rubbing his bruised elbow, walked over to a corner of the cell where he slumped against the wall and slid down it to the floor. He folded his arms and mentally kicked himself for losing his temper. He had been doing that quite frequently of late, and he knew he wasn’t doing himself any favours by behaving in that way. He chalked it down – as he had yesterday and the day before that, and many others before even that – to the amount of time he had spent on his own without proper human interaction, and to the silence that nibbled away at his soul a bit more each day.

Time had become an odd beast to. Whenever he tried to pin it down, catch it, understand it, it slipped off without a trace, as if it had never even existed. He knew it did, because he saw it in his periphery, but he could never see it clearly and head-on as he remembered being able to do. It felt to him as if time had stopped in mid-January, the cold, dry air and off-white walls of the cell drab and devoid of hope like a bleak winter’s scene.

It’s supposed to be like that, he thought to himself, that’s how they want me to feel.

He was angry and frustrated with them and with himself because he knew that they knew they were winning, that they were slowly cracking his hard shell open and getting at his soft, unprotected innards. The longer he spent waiting, festering in this living hell, the more vague, the more distant his memories of a time before it became. Sometimes he could not tell what he had dreamt and what he had experienced for real, and he was having trouble marking down each day as a separate entity. That gaping hole in his recollection made him scared, and when he got scared, rage soon followed. He felt it more and more frequently, the hot toil in his blood foaming and writhing more passionately than he had ever known. They knew – and he knew – they were winning.

Since his arrest, he had spent – well, he didn’t really know how long he’d been there. It felt like years. As if the who, the what, the how and the why were not clouded enough, he also had no idea where he was, and sometimes he even considered backing down to the psychologist and telling him what he wanted to hear just to see what would happen. But when he thought about that, the rage boiled up and scared him into silence. He didn’t know he’d had such hatred hidden away inside his small, flimsy frame.

His earliest memories of this place were vague and distant. He had been a wreck, his mind a jumble of cables and wires that sparked and fried his thoughts, and it had been that way for a long time since the incident. Slowly but surely the connections healed and rewired, and understandable thought became possible once again – an idea here and a recognition there – and eventually he felt almost normal, whatever that was supposed to be, here.

There was a lingering sensation that didn’t seem to fade with time however; a feeling of hollow emptiness that nagged at him. When he let his mind wander, it came over him like a state of mortal uncertainty, halfway between being alive and being dead, and it was slowly filling with this unquenchable anger that spilled from him when he least expected it. It came mostly when he thought about the incident, a day that, through the instability of his mind, rang clear and true as though it were still happening.

He had once been a businessman, a middle-manager for a company called APC Limited, selling paper to well-to-do organisations in qualities and quantities that were rivalled by none. He did well at his job and enjoyed it, managing several accounts and the banter that came with them, even if the office director Jason Stevens, a man for whom there was very much an ‘I’ in team, did not see eye-to-eye with his forward-looking and sometimes unorthodox ways of getting things done. But he did get things done, and so the uneasy relationship remained a backwater issue so long as the healthy profits, long, hot holidays and expensive dinners kept flowing. When the incident happened, however, things had been different, very different.

*  *  *

‘Michael! What are you doing? You’ve been staring at that screen like an idiot for fifteen minutes now!’ Jason barked, dropping a pile of folders onto Michael’s desk with a whump that blew Post-It notes everywhere.

Michael shuddered, the disjointed words that entered his head grinding sharply against a sudden realisation that he wasn’t where he thought he was.

‘These are for the Smith account,’ Jason continued, oblivious to – or just ignoring – Michael’s vacant expression, ‘I want you to read up on them and compile a report explaining why we aren’t pushing more than fifteen per cent on these fools!’

Michael didn’t move an inch, and with a disgusted tut Jason turned and stomped back to his office. Michael swivelled in his chair, eyes semi-focused, tracing the skyline outside the tinted window of their countryside office. As his eyes traced, the view became swollen, contorting the buildings and the cars and the skinny trees, morphing their shapes into new patterns and arrangements, changing from countryside to city skyline and back again. His eyelids twitched, and as he continued to swivel slowly, the horizon left his view and office entered it, the chairs and desks and the computers on them twisting then stretching, the colours switching through kaleidoscopic patterns, and even the people sitting in the chairs flickered and distorted. One by one they turned to look at him, their faces unrecognisable blurs that slid down their skulls with sickening repetition.

‘Are you all right?’ a young girl named Stephanie asked, concerned. Her blonde hair fell forwards from her shoulder as she leaned down towards him.

‘Yes, I’m – I – I’m ok,’ Michael gasped, gripping the armrests of his chair as though they were the only things stopping him sinking into a pool of sticky quicksand, ‘I just need – a few moments.’

He looked at Stephanie and her smeared skin dripped around her, sliding down the blue turtleneck – the red sweater – the black blouse, her arm reaching out like the probing limb of a hungry insect, horrid and barbed, to catch her prey and secrete her poison into it until its last gasping breath.

‘What’s going on here?’ Jason asked, eyebrows upturned in a display of annoyance.

‘Michael’s not feeling very well,’ Stephanie told him.

Jason tutted again.

‘That doesn’t require all of you to stop your work now, does it?’ he barked, his demanding glare not breaking from his workers until they begrudgingly retreated from the interesting spectacle.

‘Stephanie, you should have informed the first aider,’ said Jason disapprovingly, ‘it is not your job to cater to the medical needs of other employees.’

‘I was just checking –’

‘Never you mind. Get back to work.’

Stephanie glared at Jason, then smiled serenely at Michael, whose forehead had begun to shimmer under a blanket of sweat.

Jason frowned.

‘You look terrible, Michael,’ he said, leaning in closer to study Michael’s ashen face, ‘I hope you haven’t brought something contagious into the office.’

The words erupted from the jagged hole torn into his head, and Michael’s eyes widened in horror as the black hole grew and grew, ready to envelop him. He backed up, shielding himself, but his chair hit his desk almost straight away and he could move no further. The figure towered over him, long, jointed pincers swooping left and right, ready to wrap him up and crush him like a brittle china doll.

As one of Michael’s hands shielded him, the other slammed onto the desk, fingers grasping and hunting for something to defend himself with. They clasped a leather-bound handle, and with he heaved it round, feeling the weight swing out in front of him and hearing the flat leather sides slide up and off the desk, until all at once the crunch of briefcase against bone smashed the entire picture straight down the middle.

The shrivelled figure collapsed, the swirling features on its moulded, stump-like head swimming round and round in a whirlwind of muddy colour, and Michael took his chance to tower over it, raising the briefcase above his head and bringing it down. He did it again and again, until the whirling features slid off the head and onto the floor, the walls and himself.

Finally he put the briefcase carefully down on the floor, straightened his tie, and fainted.

*  *  *

His thoughts were broken by the screech of metal against metal as the shutter at the bottom of the door slid open and a metal bowl and a cup were pushed through, both filled so low that from his perspective they looked like they had nothing in them at all. Knowing otherwise, he ran over, dropping to his knees, and ate from the bowl where it lay without even picking it up. The food looked and tasted like ash, but it had so far kept him alive, and his hunger stopped him from doing anything other than eating it. Bowl clean and stomach temporarily satiated, he picked up the cup, took a sip of the acidic, bitter water – it looked like water anyway – and carried it back to the spot he had been sitting at before.

He so desperately wanted to give up, say everything they wanted to hear, but he couldn’t. Every night his dreams would be tormented by the long pincers of the towering man, and he knew they would continue until he had his answers –  he also knew he wouldn’t get any answers by pretending that nothing had happened. What tormented him even more, he thought as he drained his cup and threw it clattering across the hard floor, was the dream he had before the towering man appeared; it was a dream about burning red skies, thunderous crashing and screams that echoed in his mind long after he had woken up.

Chapter 3

The last trace of the night of those burning red skies, collapsing buildings and his unaccompanied escape vanished from Alex’s mind, and he slept soundly. He slept soundly the night afterwards too, having returned home from work to Mary, his wonderful wife, and Jack his beautiful baby son. Life was as close as is possible to bliss; his shoulders were light and his steps barely touched the floor.

Six years passed.

He got up, had his breakfast – a toasted bacon sandwich, prepared by Mary for him and for Jack as a Monday morning treat – and went to work as usual. The sun was hot but the air conditioning in his car fought it away expertly, leaving him comfortable and able to enjoy his favourite band on the radio. Traffic was clear, and he threaded his way along the grey network from the suburbs and into the city, parking in his usual spot, picking up a coffee on the way into the building, and riding the lift up to the twelfth floor as he blew cool air into his cup.

The office was sizzling, the building’s air conditioning struggling where his car’s had triumphed, and he could feel a sticky patch of perspiration growing on his back as he worked. Leaning forward in his chair, he moved the small fan on his desk so it was aimed at the wet patch, and the cooling sensation of sweat evaporating from skin sent a pleasing chill up his back. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment, before returning to his computer to finish his message.

This could well seal the deal and start a relationship that would be financially beneficial to the company for many years to come. He would be taking home a handsome bonus for this one if it all worked out. Scanning what he had already written, he thought a moment before giving the last few keys a sturdy poke. He negotiated the cursor to the send button and clicked. The email had gone. He was very pleased with himself.

Alex rose from his chair, and glancing at the clock on the wall, decided it was about time to head out for a lunchtime walk and a sandwich. The city was a good place to get lunch, particularly in the summer, and there was one place a few streets down that did especially good sandwiches – well-filled, delicious ingredients and generously priced. His stomach gurgled at the thought, and after checking his pocket for his wallet, he made his way down through the building and out onto the street below.

If he’d thought it was hot inside, it was scorching outside. Dry, smouldering heat hit the concrete and bounced back up at him. The pavements were bustling with people, and he weaved through them, keeping his speed and focus as he homed in on his lunch. He could tell just by looking who was a tourist and who worked here in the city and even for how long, based on the speed and agility they demonstrated on the pavement, from the fastest cat-like pedestrian dodgers to the stationary, camera-wielding neck-craners. The latter annoyed him beyond belief.

Today was a slick day for walking along the pavement; the gaps appeared exactly when he needed them and the bumbling tourists moved in all the ways he expected them to, and so he was able to draw his route as an imaginary line all the way through without stopping once. He turned a corner two roads down from his destination into a narrow, empty street, away from the usual flurry of foot traffic. It gave him a break, as well as shaving a minute or two off his journey.

As he darted in and out of the shadows striped across the pavement, his ears pricked up as the click-clack of one – no, two – other pairs of feet turned the corner after him. Normally he would not have noticed as there were many pairs of feet marching around the city, but these sounded fast but muted, gaining on him with an intention not to be noticed. Alex picked up his already speedy pace, and almost immediately the steps behind did the same, the gentle footfalls becoming a jog, and then a run. With an almost uncontrollable reflexive action, Alex started running himself, but he had barely taken a few long strides before the heavy footfalls caught up and a rubbery hand came down upon his shoulder, slowing him to a stop. He struggled, craning his head round to see who his captors were, but another rubbery hand on the other shoulder kept him facing forwards. A second later and his face was covered, a warm, chemical smell invading his eyes, nose and mouth, and two sets of black, glassy eyes stared down at him as his legs gave way and he faded in a deep, dreamless sleep.

*  *  *

He was awake, but his senses were dulled, a dizzying feeling of nausea swimming back and forth like the rocking of a boat slowed through a looking glass that warped time itself, leaving long, streaky trails of colour dragging out on the inside of his eyelids.

‘Where am I …?’ Alex croaked, his mouth so dry it hurt to speak. He opened his eyes cautiously, letting the world around him in a little at a time. They felt heavy, dragged backwards through his skull by the same force that kept him pinned down where he lay.

‘Hello?’ he gasped, trying to yell, as the vision of blur and shapelessness came to one of sharp edges and definition. Dim, grey lines, drawn across in front of him in rows and columns, pulsed in tune with the rhythmic throb in his neck. They surrounded glowing white squares that filled their intersections.

Over a deep hum that seemed to emanate from every direction at once, he could hear footsteps; they didn’t sound much further than a few metres away. With them came voices, low whispers that gelled with the hum but made no discernible words or sounds.

‘What’s going on?’ Alex demanded. His voice bleated, cracking. The footsteps stopped, then started again, getting louder and heading towards him. They grew seemed to go on for hours, and the more Alex focussed on them the more he was sure that the owner of the footsteps was about to spring into view. But they didn’t, so Alex continued to lay there, heart beating and glowing squares throbbing, waiting and wondering what was happening and what was about to happen. Whatever it was, it felt strangely familiar. He knew he should be scared, but he was merely nervous.

The muffled voices rose and dropped in tone and pitch and Alex could tell that they were not in agreement. After a long, long time, a conclusion was made, one voice backing down to the other with indignant resignation. The pulsing lines began to pulse faster, raising Alex’s heart rate with it, and the still, straight geometry of the shapes began to bend and warp with random abandon. Twist, flex, straighten, the lines moved in all planes, slowly straining to break free from their rigid two-dimensional restrictions. First this happened to one line, and then another, and within minutes of the first complete separation, the whole view ahead of him was swirling like a whirlpool, slowly turning on its central axis at no more than a few inches per second.

He watched the whirlpool, its orbit gradually increasing speed, and felt the deep, resonant hum rise inside it. The core of the vortex ballooned slightly, stretching out a little towards him. It turned and it swelled, a slow-motion hurricane of bending light and torrential force, burrowing through the air towards his face. As it got closer, his heart beat faster, and he could not even move a hair’s width under the invisible restrictions, let alone contemplate struggling free. All he could do was watch, breathing in slow, deep breaths, staring as the blunt point of the grinding cone came down upon him. It stopped inches above his face, its swirling power bending his sight, his hearing and what felt like his soul.

A swollen drop grew at the point of the cone, until it could no longer be freely suspended, and it broke away, falling as slowly as the whirlpool of light twisted. He took a breath and held it, as if expecting to be submerged under some great tidal wave.

When the drop hit, it felt like a colossal weight compacted against his forehead, rippling his skin until the perfectly circular droplet came to rest. It then melted down into many smaller droplets, which rolled under their own power down into his pores, disappearing one by one with a cold prickle.

Almost at once, he remembered something in disjointed fragments. He looked up at a red sky, burning brightly below a moon that was scorched a fiery orange. He surveyed monolithic platforms of brick and block. He felt his inner being tear in half as if something very special and important had been taken abruptly away from him. He saw the sky fade, the colours melt away and the landscape diminish as he ran, cowardly and ashamed, as far away as he could. His eyes welled. He was a coward; he didn’t know why, but he knew he had done something reprehensible. The burden of shame was draped over his shoulders as he stared into pure darkness, weighing him down.

*  *  *

A muffled warbling came from Alex’s jacket pocket. He fished out his phone. Keeping his eyes on the road, Alex instinctively felt for the call answer button, pressed it and held the phone to his ear.

‘Alex Latham,’ he said flatly.

A strangled sob, compressed with digital static, came through the speaker. Alex frowned, glancing at the caller display. Mary.

‘Mary, are you there?’ he said, the cold weight of concern materialising in his chest, ‘are you all right?’

The sob came louder and more distinct and he recognised it to be his wife.

‘What’s the matter?’ he said, pulling off the main road and into a layby.

‘Why,’ she sobbed, ‘haven’t you answered your phone? We’ve been looking for you everywhere!’

Alex, mouth slightly open. He didn’t know what to think or say. Removing the phone from his ear, he accessed the menu to look at the call history. Sure enough, there were one hundred and thirteen missed calls, twelve voicemail messages and sixteen emails. Putting the phone back to his ear, he said, ‘I – I don’t know what’s going on. I’m just on my way back home from work …’

Bubbling panic foamed in his stomach.

‘You’ve been gone for three days,’ Mary gasped between sobs, ‘where have you been?’

Alex had no answer.

‘I don’t know … ‘ he whispered.

He thought hard – the last thing he could remember was leaving work to get lunch. No, there was more; glowing squares flashed like lightning on his retinas and the heavy, restrictive weight that had pushed him down suddenly ached in his bones. He swallowed hard, his throat running dry as the picture became clear. Mary was talking, sobbing, but he did not hear her as he checked the date on his phone – three days had indeed passed.

Suddenly, vividly, he remembered the red, midnight sky burning above him, like blood running in a river from the heavens, drenching everything it touched in torrid, sticky demise. Everything but him. He had run away. He had left her to die.

Chapter 4

The sound of a heavy fist colliding with a thick metal door shook Michael awake, and he sat up and wiped the sticky drool from his face, squinting as the fluorescent lights above ignited. He didn’t know what time it was. He never did. He got up when he was told, went to sleep when he was told, did his business when he was told. For all he knew it could be four in the afternoon, and he would be none the wiser. Never seeing the sun had played havoc with his body clock.

A slat in the door slid open. An aggressive voice shot through the gap and assaulted Michael’s eardrums.

‘Up!’

Michael stood like clockwork – this was all part of the drill. It was like second nature to him and he found it easier to go along with it, given the penchant for aggression the guards seemed to developing. Again, the thunderous voice bellowed through the gap in the door.

‘Remove your clothes!’

Michael had already begun – he knew what to do. The guards knew that he knew what to do, too – they just liked shouting.

Once Michael’s clothes had all been removed and folded neatly in a pile on his bed, he stood in the middle of the room and the door burst open. The guard’s tall, thickset frame filled the doorway, his stark uniform neatly pressed, his face wearing an angry frown. He clomped into the room with all the grace of a bulldozer.

Michael knew he looked like a shrivelled weed standing next to him, naked and skinny.

The guard’s chest swelled. Michael, being now a few feet away from him winced, preparing himself for the inevitable.

‘Bring in the hose!’

Spit showered his face. The thought of being washed with an industrial hose almost seemed welcoming.

Two smaller, younger, but equally as cantankerous guards collectively marched through the doorway, one holding the wet end of the hose and the other bringing in the slack.

Despite clear authority, the guard’s uniforms were identical; smart, but devoid of any identifiable markings, barring one small, odd symbol on the lapels.

Michael shivered. No amount of time spent doing this could ever get him used to it. Preparing his body for the assault, he scrunched up his eyes and tensed his small, yet toned muscles, waiting for the barrage of ice-cold water to hit him like a glacial wall. The wait seemed like a decade.

He carefully opened one eye to see what was going on. His eye met those of the mountain of a man in front of him. It was quite obvious that the guard was enjoying watching him squirm. He had one arm raised, which was being watched intently by the younger guard in charge of the hose.

The thick, tree trunk arm dropped. The hose ignited. A torrent of cold, wet force shot towards Michael’s unprepared body. It knocked him tumbling, his head cracking against the unforgiving floor.

A crooked grin split the head guard’s boulder-like face.

‘Get up!’ he bellowed.

Michael, dazed from the fall, felt sure that the power of the guard’s voice was so strong it was just pushing him down further. He rolled onto his front and clambered up, constantly fighting the surge of water.

‘Soap!’

The guard holding the slack reached into his pocket and pulled out what looked like a lump of lard dotted with patches of fluff. He tossed it over to Michael, who, holding up his hand to try and protect himself from the water, picked it up off the floor. It stunk.

Lathering himself all over with it, he shivered uncontrollably. The force of the rushing water was becoming difficult to fight, and he was struggling to stay standing. He swayed.

‘If you even think about falling over again I will personally see to it that you spend the rest of your life in this miserable, desolate facility!’

The guard who had tossed him the soap had gone over to the bed and picked up Michael’s old clothes, left the room and returned with a clean set.

The head guard signalled and the hose was turned off. Water dripped from Michael’s pale, naked body.

With the new set of clothes under one arm, the young guard walked over to Michael and took the soap, thrusting it back into his pocket. He held out the clothes for Michael to take, but as Michael reached out for them, he let go, purposely dropping them onto the sopping wet floor. He snickered before turning round and helping the other young guard take out the hose.

Michael was alone with the head guard, who leaned towards him and chuckled.

‘Have a nice day,’ he smirked. He turned on his heel and left, slamming the heavy door behind him.

The day wore on slowly, as ever. The florescent tubes above screamed a constant, deafening white noise that, even though it was barely audible, he couldn’t get out of his head. Day was night and night was day – and both were neither. As far as his body was concerned, there had only been one long day since he got here.

The one thing he could find time for was thinking. Thought was his friend, and his enemy. He thought whether he wanted to or not, and most of the time it was the same thought going round his head over and over and over. Sometimes he wanted to shut it all down, to pull the plug, but the same thoughts that drove him to despair also intrigued him enough to hang on until the end, whenever that might be.

It concerned him that he was teetering on the fine edge of sanity; he wasn’t sure how close he was from losing his balance and falling. He supposed that as long as that was a concern to him, he couldn’t possibly be mad. Not that mad, anyway. That was one of the thoughts he had that comforted him.

He often thought of his past, and although he could not remember much of his early days here, he could remember the trial – if you could call it that – that had taken place shortly after he’d arrived.

He could remember being in the centre of a drab, off-white room facing a small row of tables, behind which three uniformed men sat talking quietly with each other. Besides an insignia on the lapel, their uniforms were quite plain, and were not anything he had seen before. There were no official logos or words on the walls, and nothing to identify the men on the tables; in fact it all seemed rather hastily put together.

He blinked a few times, his head thumping slowly and sickeningly. He must have been sedated for the journey because he could only remember being in his cell before waking up here.

Starting with a tingling sensation, the feeling gradually crept back to his extremities, and eventually his head began to clear. He realised that – although he was standing – he was restrained from top to bottom. The tight grip of his restraints meant that he wasn’t going anywhere, no matter how hard he struggled, and doing so only made his head thump harder. A door behind him clicked open and he stopped moving, listening intently. Two white-coated men walked past him in silence, the second one keeping his distance and eyeing him nervously. The first white-coated man put a file down on the table in front of the uniformed men, and took a seat with his colleague next to them. They both looked as though they weren’t comfortable being here with these people.

The eldest and most senior looking of the three uniformed men opened the folder and flicked through slowly, running his finger down the sheets as he mouthed the words silently. He conferred with his own colleagues in a low voice, and unable to hear him, the two white-coated men exchanged worried looks.

The eldest man finished the document and closed it, leaning back in his chair and clasping his hands together. For the first time, he looked at Michael. Suspicion flashed in his eyes.

‘So …’ he drawled, ‘you are Michael Beecham, correct?’

Michael tried to nod, and couldn’t.

‘Yes,’ he said, ‘don’t I get some kind of legal –’

The uniformed man cut him short with a raised finger, looking unimpressed with Michael’s impertinence. He opened the document again, to the first page.

‘There is no need to stray from the question, Mr. Beecham. Now, it says here that you committed a violent crime – a crime that resulted in the death of a man. Is that right?’

‘Yes, but – ‘

‘Thank you, Michael, that will do.’

An immediate sense of claustrophobia set down upon him, his frustration making his heart rate quicken and churn hot blood around his body. The uniformed man tapped the open file.

‘Can you tell me why you did this?’

Michael’s throat tightened as he spoke, panic constricting his muscles and drying his tongue.

‘I don’t know. I didn’t want to do it, or even mean to do it. It just – happened.’

The uniformed man looked at him reproachfully, staying silent, waiting for more. Michael could feel sweat prickling at his brow.

‘Honestly, I didn’t intend for this to happen – I didn’t feel right and everything was messed up – ‘

The uniformed man raised his hand, cutting Michael short once more.

‘Thank you, Michael.’

He turned to his colleagues and they whispered together. Michael’s head pulsed with thick, aching waves, shifting his vision in and out of focus. One of the white-coated men opened his mouth as if to say something, but just shut it again. The uniformed men, not even noticing, stopped talking. The eldest man nodded and they all turned to Michael.

‘It seems as if the motives behind your actions are sinister, if not completely incomprehensible. It is my opinion that you be kept under constant supervision and your progress monitored and reported back to me.’

The first white-coated man looked severely put out by this.

‘That’s not fair!’ he protested, ‘we can’t be certain of any repercussions –’

The eldest uniformed man looked at him sternly and he fell silent.

‘He isn’t going anywhere until we can be certain that there aren’t any repercussions,’ he said with quiet authority. He slapped the file shut, picked it up and slotted it under one arm. The white-coated man that had confronted him shifted in his seat uncomfortably, whilst the other tried not to draw attention to himself.

‘Since it seems that we are not all clear on the proper precautions,’ the uniformed man said, addressing the whole room, ‘I see no other option than for us to appoint one of our own staff to monitor this man.’

‘But –’ the white-coated man blurted, standing up sharply.

‘Sit down. You’ve proven once again to not have the capacity to do what is necessary, and this is the result. You’re lucky that we aren’t in a position to remove you entirely from the project, but believe me, you would be gone as fast as I was able to make it happen if we were.’

The white-coated man sat down, flushing red. His colleague looked at the floor. The senior uniformed man stood up.

‘Take him away,’ he said gruffly, waving his hand dismissively in Michael’s direction. His colleagues stood, and they both rounded the table, one reaching into his pocket whilst the other grabbed Michael’s arm, pinning it down hard against even the slightest twitch. He tried to struggle, but the combination of the restraints and the man’s grip was just too strong. A sudden, sharp pain pierced his shoulder, followed by the cold, creeping sensation of liquid spreading through his arm. Darkness crept into the corners of his vision and began to engulf it, until everything went black.

Chapter 5

‘I really think you should see someone. I – I’m worried about you.’

‘I don’t need to see someone. I’m fine. Just leave me alone and stop telling me what to do,’ Alex snapped, before he rolled over and flicked his bedside lamp off. Mary did the same. He lay in silence, wide-awake, clenching the duvet tight around his body. Shutting his eyes, he tried to force sleep to come to him. A wave of sickening anxiety gurgled in his stomach as the unforgettable image of the cross-hatched ceiling played on repeat in his mind, as it had done since his disappearance, filling a hollow that had been left by those three missing days. He hugged the duvet closer, the feeling of being watched making his skin cling tight and cold on his bones.

Saying he was fine was one thing, but believing it was another. The images that haunted the dark spaces of his mind were consuming him in a neurological fire that wrapped his awareness into a bubble no bigger than his own body. He could barely think about anything else but himself, constantly drawn into a daze that left him with an expression that made Mary visibly uncomfortable.

Mary sighed quietly, still wide awake as well, and clicked her lamp back on again.

‘I think there’s something you’re not telling me,’ she said softly, ‘I know you’re not well; you haven’t been since you had the blackout.’

Her voice trembled for the last few words. Alex didn’t move, pretending to be asleep, but he knew that she knew he wasn’t. He could hear her fighting back emotion, her sniffs thick with tears, and it was a long while before she had composed herself enough to speak again.

‘I want you to know that I love you, Alex,’ she said in a broken, quiet sob before turning away and switching the light off. It wasn’t hard to hear the sound of her tears falling onto the pillow in the silence as they both endured the night apart from each other. Alex didn’t remember falling asleep, but he did remember the many hours that passed trying. His sleep was shallow, dogged by fragments of incomplete dreams. The visions consumed him like a disease, leaving very little of his concentration left for the wife and son he once cared so deeply for.

Since his belated return home, it felt as if he had gone rotten. He got upset very easily, often felt perturbed as if he was being watched, and he grew irrationally aggressive, like a cornered animal. Sometimes he lashed out, his tongue spearing Mary with bitter, wicked words, and although he immediately regretted it, he could still see the fear in her eyes. It made him feel sick with worry that next time he would attack with his fists instead of his tongue.

More often he felt empty, like someone had pulled the plug on his soul and left him to drain, and he would sit for hours on his own without moving whilst Mary was at work and Jack at school. Because of all this, his relationship with Mary had become distant, and now they barely spoke at all. Sometimes he didn’t even realise she was there. Those three missing days had taken more than time – they had taken a piece of him that had left him unbalanced and broken. They had done something to him that left him in a state that seemed to have no end. More than once he had found himself looking at the knife block in the kitchen without even knowing how he got there.

Cocooned by his own paranoia, he was trapped in his home, having not left it since his return over two months ago. He rarely ate. He had lost his job and hadn’t even noticed. Anxiety was the watchman of his existence, always there, never for a moment leaving him be. It was an obsession, and the more he dwelled upon it, the more it preyed on him. It was a dark, looming shadow that crept around after him, always fluttering away into a corner when he turned to look it in the eye.

The next morning Alex awoke to a dull ache squeezing the back of his eyes. He was better in the mornings, particularly for that brief moment where his mind had not caught up with him, and he savoured it. The curtains were shut, the room still dark, but Mary was not in bed. The sheet was cool to the touch on her side; she had been up a while. He listened hard for the sound of her moving around the house, but nothing disturbed the peace. Sitting up, he listened harder, waiting for some familiar noise to reach him and reassure him that she was about. Minutes passed with no such relief. Pulling on a pair of trousers he wandered out of the bedroom, wondering if Mary would be waiting for him downstairs.

Jack’s bedroom was empty. Some of his drawers were open and cleared of clothes. A small pile of toy cars lay in the middle of the carpet, still arranged in whatever game he had been playing. Alex’s heart dropped as the reality sank in. Afraid of what he might find, he went downstairs and into the dining room. A hastily scribbled note lay on the table; he picked it up, swallowing hard as he read.

Alex,

I have gone and I have taken Jack with me. I cannot continue living with you whilst you make me feel so afraid. I want to love you, but I struggle when all you do is scare me. I hope that the Alex I love can return and that we can be a family again, but until then, for Jack’s safety and for my safety, we have to leave.

Mary

Alex put the note down slowly, his hand quivering as he realised what was happening to him. How had he been so blind to have not seen this coming? The blood drained from his face and his throat went dry; pulling out a chair from under the table, he sat down, his knees weak under the weight of his world crashing down on him. It was just too much to bear. Nausea filled his stomach and mouth, and he stared at the table, holding his head in his hands, thinking over and over about what had just happened to him. The admonishing voice in his head grew louder and louder, stupid man, spiteful man, hateful man, where were you for those three days when you should have been at home looking after your family –

‘Shut up!’ he screamed, standing so violently that the chair he was sitting on toppled abruptly to the floor. He cupped a shaking hand over his mouth, unable to believe that the strained, screeching sound he had just heard was his own voice, and stood on that same spot for almost an hour.

A warm breeze trickled through the kitchen window and into the room, breaking him from his trance and carrying with it the sound of cars trundling up and down the street, and children playing in the morning sunshine. He shuffled slowly into the kitchen, unshaven jaw drooping open a fraction, a sticky plume of spittle that had escaped during his outburst still resting on his chin. He stopped next to the fridge. It hummed softly, and he stroked the cool, plastic handle with his fingertips before grasping hold. Pulling open the door, he extracted a tall, glass bottle full of clear liquid. He caressed the ornate relief on the bottle’s surface tenderly, as though he were greeting a long-lost lover. Putting the bottle down on the worktop and closing the fridge door, he got himself a glass from the cupboard. He filled it with the clear liquid, took a deep sniff of the alcoholic scent, drank it in one go and poured himself another.

Chapter 6

The metal slat in the door slid open, making Michael jump. He never got used to it interrupting his silent, distant thoughts, the kind he usually had whilst laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling as he was now.

‘Room inspection in ten minutes,’ a voice barked through the gap, before the slat banged home again.

Before his appointments with the psychologist, Michael and his cell were thoroughly inspected to ensure that no danger was present, but it hardly seemed necessary. It gave the guards something to do, a game to while away the hours of their boring, pitiful jobs. Sometimes he got the impression that the guards were almost as trapped as he was – trapped by their occupation and thus venting their frustration in his direction. Their cruelty escalated as time rolled on and it had come to a point where Michael realised that his complaints were getting him nowhere, and so he had stopped complaining altogether.

Gritting his teeth, he bore his day-to-day interaction with the guards without fuss, merely because it seemed that the less he provoked them the more lightly he would get off. Riling the guards would only land him in deeper trouble and he would often end up paying for his defiance for many days afterwards. He generally managed to remain calm, keeping a sensible head on when they pushed his buttons, although the strain of ignoring the blatant torment was beginning to build up. Lying on his bed, his thoughts would often drift into horrifying and violent realms, so much so that they shocked and repulsed him. The simmering rage burned deep inside his body and venting it was impossible. It rose like bile in his throat and soon it would need to be released – hot vomit-like hatred that he knew would leave a bitter taste in his mouth. He despised himself for thinking these thoughts, but there was only so much punishment he could take before his usually reserved and gentle demeanour disappeared.

He watched a cobweb flutter in the downdraft of a cooling vent in the ceiling, its long, ghostly tendrils swaying back and forth like seaweed in a warm current. Sometimes he saw the spider that had created it scuttling in and out of the vent; how he longed to be that spider, to come and go as he pleased, to be gone from this wretched place.

Sitting up in his bed, he stretched, twisting his head to unravel the knot that pulled his neck muscles tight. His whole body felt taut, like he had just sprinted a mile without warming up, each sinew stiff and short and eagerly complaining.

His head swam, and he shut his eyes to calm the kaleidoscope of colours twinkling in front of them. Maybe he was catching something; perhaps there was a ‘flu bug being carried through the ventilation system and he was experiencing the initial symptoms. He felt run down – well, he felt different – and ‘flu would certainly explain it. He’d been having trouble shutting his brain off recently too, and although he liked to think to help pass the hours, he struggled to pause his incessant thoughts for long enough to give him time to sleep. For some reason his brain was on overdrive, his mind reeling with thoughts and memories and ideas at a pace that made him dizzy. It seemed like borderline delirium, but he didn’t have a fever. He touched his hand to his forehead, feeling the heat burn into his skin. Maybe he did have a fever.

No matter how often he went through the room inspection ritual, it didn’t stop an anxious bubble swelling up inside his gut every time. The unpredictability of the guards’ behaviour made him nervous, and despite trying to mitigate the circumstances with his own conduct, a bad mood was all that stood between him and a beating.

They didn’t beat him too hard – he had never needed to visit the hospital – but it wasn’t just a light knock-about either. The guards carried expandable steel batons and didn’t require many excuses to show them off. A swift blow to the shins or stomach would have him in agony for days, especially since he had nothing to do in his cell to distract him from the nauseating pain. He rubbed his stomach tenderly at the premonition, praying that today they would go easy on him. Desperation, he thought, was the only thing that could lead a man to pray to a God that had long since deserted him.

The lock clanked and the door swung open. The head guard entered, flanked by his two assistants, who shut the door behind them. He had a mean look in his eyes that made Michael’s stomach drop to the floor, the chances of a quick and simple inspection falling from slim to none.

‘Stand in the centre of the room, feet apart, hands on the back of your head,’ the chief guard spat. Michael got up and did as he was told, his legs trembling underneath him. Feet apart and hands on head, he closed his eyes and took a breath, waiting for the inevitable. The two flanking guards hurried around the room, pulling out the bed sheets, turning the mattress, inspecting it and generally making a mess of what little furniture there was.

Eyes pinched shut, Michael realised that his whole body was quivering, but not with fear – with anger. He clenched his jaw hard, his teeth audibly creaking as they were forced together. Rage flowed through him, and he sucked in air through his nostrils as slowly as he could to calm the intense thumping of his heart. The heavy, slow footsteps of the head guard moved closer and he opened his eyes to stare into those of the ignorant man before him.

‘Have you got anything you shouldn’t have?’ the guard asked him, slowly and menacingly, reciting the same line he always did with twisted glee.

Michael could hear hot blood rushing through his head like white water pounding through a gorge.

‘No.’

The guard stepped closer, bending down so their eyes were level.

‘No, what?’

Michael’s chest rose and fell slowly as he fought to restrain the demon that wanted to burst out from inside him.

‘No, sir.’

Hot, vile breath washed over his face, permeating his mouth and nostrils. It smelt like coffee and bacteria.

‘Do you think you are better than me, Michael?’ said the guard sardonically.

The other two guards watched intently, finished with their inspection.

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