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KND Freebies: Intriguing sci-fi fantasy WEAVER is featured in today’s Free Kindle Nation Shorts excerpt

“…one part science fiction, one part paranormal fantasy, and a whole lot of fun!…”

Travel into the wild world of John Abramowitz’ imagination with the first book in his compelling Weaver Saga sci-fi/fantasy series…

Weaver (The Weaver Saga)

by John Abramowitz

3.9 stars – 26 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

Fifteen-year old Alex Cronlord just met the boy of her dreams. Literally. Unfortunately, the dream involved him killing her. When she encounters him at her school the next morning, Alex understandably freaks out and her mother’s bizarre behavior only makes it worse. What Alex doesn’t realize is that she can see the future — which will get her into a whole lot of trouble.

Across town, FBI Agent Moira McBain and her partner Andy Hall investigate a series of house burnings in Dallas, Texas. When a clue leads them to the Cronlords, Moira discovers a disturbing link between Alex’s family and her own — a link which opens an old wound Moira has spent years trying to ignore.

Something is rotten in Dallas, Texas — something involving a secret society, children with extraordinary powers, and human-looking creatures who might literally be out of this world….

Welcome to a different kind of world-wide web.

5-star praise for Weaver:

Page Turner
“…captured me from the opening paragraph and sustained its tension throughout….The characters are rich, the plot engrossing. I heartily recommend to anyone who likes a good science fiction yarn.”

Great read! I can’t wait for more
“…Mr. Abramowitz has done an excellent job of pacing both story and character development so that the two are intertwined. There is no extra fluff in Weaver, each and every page advances the story and our relationship with the characters…”

an excerpt from

Weaver

by John Abramowitz

Prologue

Alex ran frantically over the uneven ground, her feet seeming to almost have a mind of their own as she raced desperately, not in any particular direction, but simply away. The first beads of sweat broke out on her forehead beneath the crown of golden-blonde hair, but Alex didn’t care, couldn’t care about that, nor about the burning feeling starting to blossom in the pits of her lungs. All she could think about was keeping as much distance as possible between herself and what was chasing her.

Snick! came the soft noise as one of her tennis shoes collided with a branch on the ground in front of her, snapping loose a twig from the branch as she fell forward, her face hitting the dirt. Alex cursed herself even as she fell – she’d been so focused on the simple act of moving ahead that she hadn’t thought to watch what was ahead. Always were a clumsy bitch. She rolled onto her back as fast as possible, scrambling to her feet as she saw the dark streak swoop ever closer to her.

It moved with almost inhuman speed, closing a full third of the gap between them just in the time it took her to get to her feet. Alex shrieked and leapt to one side. It was a wooded area, so there were plenty of trees to hide behind. She scrambled behind a trunk and hid. The black thing raced forward, stopping a mere few feet from the tree behind which she hid.

Alex’s heart raced, a pounding in her ears that she was sure her pursuer could hear. She waited a few moments in the barest silence, the only noise being a slight breeze rustling the leaves above her head. A brown leaf fell across her nose and cheek. She struggled to resist sneezing as it tickled her sinuses.

What seemed like eternities passed in utter silence.

CRASH. CRASH. CRASH. Alex’s heart continued to pound in her ears, intermixed with the soft squeak-squeak-squeaking sound of her pursuer’s shoes against the dirt and grass as he searched for her. Unable to bear it any longer, she risked a glance over her shoulder – and her heart nearly stopped as she saw him.

Her eyes followed his frame from the beaten-up tennis shoes, up the slender legs covered in the black denim pants, past the torso in the black t-shirt, with sleeves just short enough to show hints of his muscular upper arms, to the sculpted face and short, close-cropped brown hair. There was something almost angelic about his features, even now, as he hunted her. Slowly, his head turned in her direction, and she jerked her own head back behind the trunk, actually holding her breath to avoid detection.

“I know you’re here, Alex,” came his baritone voice, at once lilting and lethal. “I can feel you. I can smell you.”

Another eternity-long silence in which Alex heard nothing – not the wind, not her heart, not his voice. It was the space between heartbeats, but it felt like a lifetime.

And then he found her. “Gotcha!” he roared, starting for her as she squealed in fright and tried to run away.

She could feel him closing the distance between them, but dared not look back, dared not put any of her already-exhausted body’s energy into anything but propelling herself forward, forward, forward. Adrenaline pushed the ache out of her muscles and the burning out of her lungs as she ran –

And then he was on her – one arm like a vise around her stomach, and his breath on her cheek and in her ear told her that he had brought their faces close. She looked over, trembling and whimpering, and saw the cool, predatory smile, the soft brown eyes gleaming with delight. And then, for just a moment, the eyes flashed blood red.

“I’m gonna enjoy this,” he whispered.

And then all she knew was a world of pain.

Chapter 1

Monday, 7:25 a.m.

Alex Cronlord trudged down the stairs of her family’s two-story house, yawning sleepily and rubbing at her eyes. Leave it to her body to sleep poorly and fitfully the night before her first day of school. Tenth grade.  The first thing she saw was her father – or rather, his posterior, as he stood hunched over his briefcase near the front door to their house.

“Honey!” he called loudly, in his chipper voice. “Have you seen my office key? I’m closing the Barov deal today and all the paperwork’s still in my office, being late would not look go – whoa!”

He stopped in his tracks as he turned around, nearly colliding with Alex as he started walking toward their kitchen. “Hi, honey,” he beamed, gray eyes twinkling behind the rectangular glasses as he folded her in a tight hug. “Tenth grade, huh? Can you believe it? You’re practically a woman,” he chirped. “Do well at this, and you’ll have a corner office and a Mustang convertible in no time.”

Alex outwardly laughed and inwardly sighed. This was typical of her father, to get this worked up about this development. He had gotten this excited about every development in her life since she was very young – from learning to ride a bike to starting kindergarten to surviving her first filling at the dentist’s office. As a young girl, Alex had found this endearing, but as she grew, she increasingly began to find it annoying.

But of course she said none of this to him. “Office right next to yours?” she asked, her typical reply to his academic-related kudos.

Her father smiled, the expression lending a bit of curvature to his square face. That was honestly how she thought of her father – very square. “I don’t think you’d want to be an insurance salesman, baby. It’s pretty frustrating work –” Here, he tilted his head to one side, “Especially when you can’t find your office keys! HONEY!” he called to Alex’s mother, who was presumably in the kitchen making breakfast.

“I do your laundry and cook your meals,” came a rich, thrumming voice from the adjacent kitchen, as Ainsling Cronlord swept into the room. With a frame that was curvy while staying just shy of overweight, Alex’s mother was a much more commanding physical presence than her father, who was slightly taller, but lanky. Whereas her father had a chipper, exuberant personality, her mother simply radiated unspoken authority wherever she went. Her green eyes narrowed beneath the aquiline brow as she completed her thought, “Why on Earth should I keep track of your keys, too?”

Alex’s father shrunk back a bit from the unspoken power in her mother’s voice. “…Err,” he replied, somewhat meekly. “I’m just stressed, that’s all.”

Ainsling nodded curtly, then turned a serious expression on her daughter. “Alex, dear, go eat your breakfast.”

Alex nodded and walked past her mother into the kitchen. She could hear their two voices continue to talk as she sat down to a plate of French toast, though she could not discern any words. Thus went the perpetual tug of war between her parents — her mother sometimes found her father’s perpetual optimism and energy irritating, and felt that he needed to be more down-to-earth with a greater sense of personal responsibility; her father, meanwhile, sometimes felt that Ainsling was overly joyless and did not give him sufficient credit for his accomplishments.

And yet, despite their frequent minor (and occasional major) disagreements, the two invariably found their way back to what appeared, to Alex, to be a loving relationship that benefitted them both. Alex chuckled slightly to herself around a bite of French toast drenched in maple syrup, and wondered if her own married life would be such a rollercoaster.

“Alex?” came her mother’s voice from the kitchen counter behind her, interrupting her thoughts. Alex turned with a start – she had not heard Ainsling re-enter the room.

“Hmm?” Alex asked, eyes still wide from her surprise.

“Are you feeling all right, dear? Ainsling asked, in her rich tones. “You don’t look well.”

“Huh? Oh,” she answered, realizing that her mother was referring to the bags under Alex’s eyes and the slightly pale tint to her skin. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just… didn’t sleep well, that’s all.”

“Oh really?” Ainsling asked, raising the eyebrow over one of her piercing green eyes as she regarded Alex curiously.

Alex did not answer for a moment, sure that her mother was going to suggest that it was mere anxiety about starting tenth grade, and then tell Alex that it was nothing to worry about, and she’d do fine.

But Ainsling did not.

“Alex?” she snapped, after a few seconds silence. “You know it’s rude not to answer someone when they speak to you. I asked you a question!”

Alex shrugged it off, cringing inwardly at the rebuke. “Just… bad dreams, that’s all.”

She started to turn back to her French toast. While she’d always admired her mother’s ability to exude authority, it had always made Ainsling a source of greater fear for Alex than her more easy-going father.

But Ainsling still was not finished. “Oh really?” she asked, leaning over the counter, putting her elbow on it and propping her chin in her hand. “Dreams about what?”

Alex truly did not feel like discussing her sleeping problems with her mother. “I – I don’t remember, okay?” she asked, irritated by her mother’s persistence.

The eyebrow went up again, and an incredulous expression came over her mother’s features. “You had frightening dreams and you don’t remember what they were about?”

“I didn’t say frightening, I said ‘bad,’” Alex answered, surprised that her mother had not upbraided her for her tone. “I just… I dreamed I showed up to my first class without clothes on,” she told her mother, and then, for extra flair, added, “And spent the whole period sitting at my desk waiting for someone to notice.”

Ainsling gave her daughter a long, skeptical look. Then, finally, she shrugged, waving a hand in the air dismissively. “So you’re nervous about starting school. Stop being silly. Go in, work hard, and you’ll be fine.”

Alex nodded, turning back to her food at last. This was closer to the response she expected from her tough-love mother. When she finished eating moments later, she grabbed her backpack, and headed off to school.

***

Ainsling Cronlord went at once to her phone, as soon as Alex and her husband were out of the house. She picked it up, poised a finger like a claw over the touchpad to dial. There was a strange feeling in her throat, in the pit of her stomach – excitement, certainly. The moment she’d long expected had arrived! But also a sort of sadness, or at least regret. What this would do to Alex….

And yet this did not stop her, nor did it delay her for even a fraction of a second as she began to dial the number, put the receiver to her ear. Too much was at stake, she reminded herself, and too many people had given up too much, to let some silly sentimentality get in the way. She was amazed that she even had such feelings – there was no reason to, she reminded herself. She swallowed, quashing those feelings down as she did so. By the time the phone stopped ringing, they were gone.

“Switchboard,” came a clipped voice from the other end of the phone.

“Yes, this is Ainsling Cronlord to speak to Dr. Rickston, please.”

“May I tell him what this is regarding?” asked the monotone voice.

Ainsling hesitated ever so slightly, before delivering the long-anticipated news. “Tell him I believe we’ve just had First Instance.”

That ended the talk. “Please hold….”

***

7:50 a.m.

Alex arrived at school just shy of eight o’clock. Like all the other students, she stood outside in the yard, since the school did not open its doors until eight a.m. sharp. Several of her friends passed her and waved as they headed toward the larger clumps of kids engaged in animated conversation. Alex waved back, smiling, as the light early morning breeze played with her long, blonde locks.

She stopped well shy of the large groups of congregating students. Alex had never been the most extroverted person, and her current tiredness made her even more reticent than usual. She tended to get lost in big groups, and she hated that feeling. So instead she leaned back against the fence and stood there, pulling her jean jacket tighter around herself as the breeze picked up.

It’s August, she thought. What gives?

“What up, girl?” came a familiar voice from behind her. Alex beamed as she turned and saw Tyler Emmonds coming up the yard behind her. He held up his dark-skinned fist in their usual greeting, and she bumped her own against it.

“Hey, Tyler,” she grinned at him, her mood instantly lifting. Ever the jokester, Tyler was far more extroverted than she, and the two had struck up a fast friendship in early junior high which had endured since then. Classmates had often suggested (some teasingly, others not) that the two should date, but there had never been any chemistry between them.

“You don’t sound so hot,” Tyler said. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Alex answered, less-than-convincingly, “Just….”

“Your mom causin’ you problems again?” Tyler asked her, raising an eyebrow knowingly.

“Little bit,” Alex replied, laughing at how easily he’d guessed that part of it. There was more, of course, but she felt sure that even good-natured Tyler would think she was crazy if she told him what was really on her mind. “I had a bad dream last night, and she gave me the Spanish Inquisition over it.”

“Man, who put the honey in her shampoo bottle?” Tyler asked.

This brought a smile to Alex’s lips and a laugh from her throat. She was reminded instantly of why she liked her friend – his demeanor was almost imperturbable, and he had a talent for bringing humor to the most frustrating of situations. “I don’t know,” she answered finally, “But she was on the warpath this morning. Gave me and Dad the business.”

Tyler shook his head, and the two stood in a comfortable silence for a long moment.

“Tyler?” Alex finally broke the silence, speaking up hesitantly.

“Mmm?”

“Have you ever –“ Alex started, hesitating. She was sure he would think she was crazy, and Tyler was one of the few people in her life that she would be truly sad to lose, but she felt that she had to get this out, to tell someone, or she would go crazy. “Have you ever felt… like you’re gonna die soon?”

“What?” Tyler asked, and, sure enough, his expression told her that she’d managed to startle the usually-imperturbable young man.

But she’d locked herself in. She had to go on. “I had this dream last night, and….”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Tyler stopped her, holding up a hand. “You think you’re gonna die because of a dream? Alex, I’m your friend an’ all, but that’s whack.”

“I know,” Alex protested, her anxiety about this whole conversation rising. Tyler did not seem to think she was crazy yet, but she had no way of knowing how much damage she had done. “I know how it sounds, but there was this guy chasing me through a woods or a forest or something, and –”

She stopped as he appeared at the gate to the yard. Short, close-cropped brown hair over a sculpted face with soft brown eyes. Black t-shirt revealing hints of muscular arms, black denim pants, somewhat worn tennis shoes. Exactly as he’d been in the dream.

“Alex, what’s wrong?” Tyler asked, seeing his friend’s wide eyes and rapidly paling face as she stared straight ahead at the new entrant. As always, he tried to bring a humorous note to the situation. “That doesn’t look like your usual ‘crush-on-a-boy’ look.”

“That’s him,” Alex gasped, pointing at him before she even thought about it. “That’s the guy who’s gonna kill me. The guy from my dream.”

Now there was no mistake – Tyler was incredulous. His eyebrows shot up as his eyes bulged. “You saw that guy in a dream last night? Alex, are you sure you’re feelin’ okay?”

“No, and that’s just the point,” she answered, a touch of desperation creeping into her voice. As she spoke, the young man saw her point at him, and gave her a broad, picture-perfect smile. This sent a chill up Alex’s spine. “Either I’m going crazy, or I’m gonna be dead in a few days. I don’t like either choice.”

Before either of them could say more, the door to the school opened and Mr. Abernathy, the crotchety old vice principal, stood in the doorway, beckoning the students inside.

“You’ll be fine,” Tyler told her, starting to head in. “I’ll see you in second period, okay?” He flashed her a big smile, which cheered Alex slightly.

“Sure,” Alex answered. But I’m not talking to Goth Boy.

***

1:50 p.m.

As it turned out, Goth Boy decided to make the first move. When Alex turned from her locker to head to her sixth period class, she found him standing there, just inches away. She shrank back instinctively in surprise, her eyes rising from his black clothing to the sculpted face and finally meeting the brown eyes. What do you want?, she intended to say. What actually came out, though, was, “Oh, hi,” as she self-consciously ran a hand through her blonde curls.

The young man’s lips turned upward in a warm smile, and he spoke in a soft voice: “I’m Lucian Hunt.”

The smile and comforting tones sent a visceral excitement through Alex’s gut, where it warred with a powerful feeling of revulsion. What the hell are you doing? she asked herself inwardly. The Goth look has never been your thing, plus, there’s a decent chance he’s gonna try to kill you. Blow him off and walk away. Or better yet, run away. “Alex,” she replied shyly, hesitantly. “Alex Cronlord.”

“That short for Alexis or Alexandra?” he asked in the same soft, comfortable tones, leaning against the locker next to hers.

“Alexis,” she answered. “According to my mom, it was either that or Wilhelmina, and my dad talked her out of that one.”

“Probably a good call,” Lucian laughed gently. “So, any advice for the new kid? I just transferred here from San Antonio, and ….”

Going Goth is a good way to get beat up around here, she thought. And being late to class is a bad idea, too. She planned to say all of that, before turning on her heel and leaving him behind. She planned to say that, she wanted to say it, she fully intended to say it. And yet, somewhere between her brain and her lips, the message was lost. Instead, she felt her face warm, and she twiddled with her hands as she said, “Umm … not really. Just … keep your head down, I guess. Nothing really comes to mind.”

“Well, I’d really like to do well here,” he told her, his voice silken. “So, I tell you what – how about you think about it, and we can go have coffee on Wednesday and talk about it?”

No no no no NO, went the little voice in the back of her head, the one that had been advising her all along to blow Lucian off. And yet she found it increasingly difficult to listen as she felt herself drawn in by the brown eyes and the soft voice, the chiseled features and his relaxed demeanor.

“Sure,” she answered, sounding as if she’d wanted him to ask since she’d first laid eyes on him that morning. “I’ll see you then.”

***

2:04 p.m.

“So, lemme get this straight,” Tyler whispered to her as he and Alex sat next to each other in history class. “He just walked right up to you and asked you out?”

Alex started to reply, but saw the teacher turn her head toward the class, and did not want to get called out for talking on the first day of classes. So, instead, she simply gave a quick nod, trying to look as focused on the lesson as possible, which was difficult when the teacher was discussing pre-Revolution colonial America. Alex found the subject unbelievably dull.

As soon as the teacher was facing the board again, Tyler continued. “An’ you said yes?” he whispered incredulously, eyes roughly double their normal size.

“Yeah,” Alex replied, shame rising to her cheeks. Now that she was out of Lucian’s immediate presence, it was much easier to wonder why she hadn’t simply blown him off as she’d originally planned to do.

Tyler was silent for a moment. And then: “High school girl has flirtation with tall, dark, and handsome boy who may or may not want her blood. Didn’t I read about this somewhere?”

Alex made a face, but Tyler did not relent. “I don’t know what’s crazier, girl,” Tyler whispered skeptically. “That you think this guy’s gonna try to kill you, or that you agreed to go on a date with him anyway.”

“You’re right,” Alex answered, feeling sick to her gut now at having acquiesced so meekly. “You’re right, I don’t know why I did. I’ll catch him after class. Tell him it’s cancelled.”

Tyler smiled and patted her arm understandingly. “Don’t worry about it, Alex. Everybody does stupid stuff sometimes. Especially when it comes to dating. I mean, this one time, I ….”

Alex laughed gently. “Thanks, but if it’s you and your dating life, maybe I’m better not knowing,” she teased.

Tyler looked for the barest moment as if he might be ready to take offense, but as usual, the young man was absolutely imperturbable. A moment later, he gave an easy-going smile and whispered. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Chapter 2

Tuesday, 9:55 a.m.

Moira McBain stalked through the halls of the Dallas County Correctional Facility, led by a police officer escort. The two walked with brisk efficiency, rounding one corner, then another, Moira’s heels clack-clack-clack-ing against the tile floor. Finally, they stopped in front of the door to an interrogation room. A few feet away stood a tall, earnest looking man in a suit, wearing a name tag with the FBI logo on it, but Moira ignored him for a moment. She turned to the cop, pointed with her thumb to the holding room they stood in front of.

“That him?” she asked briskly.

The cop nodded. “Yup, that’s him. Jack Dunnell. Best of luck to ya,” he told her, shooting her a sympathetic look, and then walked off.

“Hey, partner,” came the suited man’s gentle voice, as he flashed her a smile that she did not return. “You ready for this?”

“I’m always ready,” Moira replied humorlessly, pushing her long, red hair behind her shoulders as if she were getting ready for a job interview. “Dunnell’s a violent psychopath, Andy, narcissistic personality disorder with homicidal ideations. No different than any other skel we’ve busted.”

Andrew Hall gave an ever so slight laugh, taking a step closer to Moira and putting a supportive hand on her upper arm. “This freak show kidnapped little girls and cut ‘em into pieces. This is the kind of case that agents fifteen years on the job need help dealing with, Moira. It’s okay.”

“But I don’t,” Moira replied, giving him a cool smile. “I’ll be fine.”

Andy’s face betrayed a hint of sadness, but he smothered it quickly, removed his hand. “All right. I’ll be right there if you need me.”

The smile warmed a few degrees. “Thanks,” she told him genuinely, her grey eyes growing a bit friendlier.

The moment of warmth passed quickly, and Moira grabbed the door handle and pulled the door open. With Andy a step behind her, she strode toward the table on the other side of which sat Jack Dunnell. He was a large man, with a bald, watermelon-shaped head with a scar near one temple. He sat back in his chair, looking carefree and relaxed, handcuffed hands resting in his lap.

“Well, well,” came his low, rasping voice, which sounded as if someone were rubbing sandpaper against his vocal cords as he spoke. “The welcoming committee’s here.”

“Hello, Mr. Dunnell,” Moira nodded to him, regarding him neutrally. “I’m Moira, this is my partner Andy. We’d like to ask you some questions.”

“’Course you would,” Dunnell replied, a grin breaking out over his face, seeming as calm as if he were meeting the two agents for coffee. “But I always got time to talk to pretty ladies, so go right ahead. By the way,” he added, as if it were an afterthought, “Your accent … Scottish?”

Moira hesitated only slightly as she sat down, Andy sitting in the chair next to her. “… I’m from the Scottish Highlands, yes.”

“Not the point, Dunnell, and you know it,” Andy Hall interjected. “Tell us what you did with the bodies.”

“Mine’s right here,” he pointed to himself with the thumb of one hand. “But, uh, not for you, though. I don’t swing that way. Your partner, though….” He turned his eyes slowly to Moira, let out a wolf whistle.

“The bodies you killed, Dunnell,” Hall replied testily. “You know, little girls. Little pieces. You hid them. We found one of your human remains dumps. What’d you do with the other four bodies?”

Disappointment crept into Dunnell’s features as his eyes remained fixed on Moira. “You need your white knight to protect you all the time?” he asked, rolling his eyes derisively at Andy before returning his glance  to her. “Gotta tell ya, not so fond of weak women.”

“You liked weak women well enough when it made them easier for you to cut ‘em up an’ hide ‘em,” Moira replied, trying to quash down the feeling of irritation that she felt rise up in her. Dunnell was trying to get her goat, and she knew it. Any sign that it was working would only encourage him.

Dunnell waved a hand dismissively. “Pffft,” he snorted. “You’re really gonna let the fact that there are a few dead girls out there stand in the way of what we could have together?”

Moira reached a hand into her suit jacket, pulled out a photograph. A young boy, perhaps ten years old, smiling that wide-eyed smile that only children can, before the realities of life set in. She held it at Dunnell’s eye level. “This is Troy Smith,” she told him, voice cold and hard. “His sister, Alice? You killed her. Troy’s an only child now, thanks to you.”

Dunnell once again regarded this assertion dismissively. “Even if I did, what’s it to ya? Not like it’s your sister, or anything.”

It was an off-hand comment, of course. There was no way that Dunnell could have known about Ian, and Moira knew that. And yet she couldn’t stop her face from twitching, just for a moment, eyes threatening to moisten and a lump forming in her throat.

And Dunnell saw it. “Or is it?” he asked, leering at her now like a predator savoring its cornered prey’s fear. “What’s the matter, girl? You think I killed one a’ yours too? You’re a bit old to have one that young….”

“That’s because I don’t,” Moira replied, voice and face now perfectly even, neutral, dispassionate. “You’re imagining things.”

“Maybe,” Dunnell answered, leaning back. “But I don’t think so. I think someone’s mixing business and pleasure. What happened, little girl? House burn down? Kid get into the medicine cabinet?”

Moira sat there, her mind split between thoughts of Ian, and desperately trying not to think of him, because that would make her expression change, betray some emotion, give this madman something to latch onto….

“Or was it worse than that?” Dunnell continued. “Maybe not so much an accident. Maybe something happened while you were left home on watch…?”

Before she even knew what she was doing, Moira was out of her seat, grabbing Dunnell by his orange jumpsuit and slamming him up against the wall. Her vision was red as pure, blinding rage exploded inside her “The only pleasure I’m gonna take is in watching you fry for murder, you sick pile of piss….”

Somewhere behind her, she was sure Andy was calling to her, pleading with her to stop, but she did not listen, could not even hear it. Her entire concentration was focused on the desire to pummel this man into oblivion, to kill him herself in ‘self-defense,’ and it was only the barest measure of self-discipline that prevented her from doing so.

“Agent McBain?” came the unfamiliar voice from behind her. “Agent McBain?”

Moira’s head slowly turned – one of the jail’s guards was calling for her. Slowly, her fist unclenched, she released Dunnell. “Yes?” she asked.

“There’s a phone call for you from the Federal Building, ma’am,” the guard told her, looking dismayed at what he’d just seen. “Are you all right, sir?”

“Fine,” Dunnell answered, licking his lips. “She was just giving me a kiss, that’s all. No need to worry.” He flashed Moira a predatory look, rubbing her nose in it.

“A – all right,” Moira replied. “I’ll be right there.”

She could not get out of the room fast enough.

***

When Moira reunited with her partner ten minutes later, Andy’s face was full of worry. She noticed it, of course, but pretended she didn’t, stopping at a professional distance away from him and speaking in clipped tones, her grey eyes steady on his face. “We’re up early tomorrow, Andy.”

“Oh?” he asked, banishing the worry from his face for a moment. “What’s the word?”

“That was Assistant Director Pileggi. He wants us in on a raid going down at nine a.m. sharp.”

“Raid of what?”

“You know all the house fires we’ve been having recently – the ones the Bureau and local police think are arson?” Moira asked.

“You mean the ones that are apparently completely random and have no apparent pattern?” Andy retorted.

“Well, apparently one of the analysts found a pattern, and then some, because they think they’ve found where the perps are holed up. Old abandoned glue-making factory. We’re doing a joint op with the Dallas P.D.”

Andy nodded. “I love the smell of arrest warrants in the morning.”

Moira cracked a very slight smile as a moment’s silence fell between them.

“Moira?”

“Hmm?”

“Who was she?”

“Who was who?”

“Your sister. I didn’t know you had one.”

The first hints of anxiety, even of panic, crept into Moira’s gut, but she covered them with cool confidence. Raising an eyebrow at Andy, she replied calmly, “That’s because I didn’t.”

Andy seemed skeptical. “Well, something Dunnell said shook you up, and it started right about the time he asked if he’d killed your sister. What’s goin’ on here, partner?” he asked, with a warm smile and a gentle hand on her arm.

You should really tell him, came a small voice in her head. He cares about you. He’s never been anything but good to you. She felt herself tempted to obey the voice as she stood there for a long moment, frozen in indecision.

Neither was Ian, she answered the voice with finality, easily silencing it. At least, not until he –

No. If she let her brain go further down that train of thought, if she let herself remember what Ian had done, it would break her composure and bring her to tears. Crying in front of her partner was the last thing she needed to be doing. “You’re imagining things,” she told him simply, brusquely.

“No, I’m not,” he replied, in an even tone that held complete confidence that he was right.

“I never had a sister, and Dunnell certainly didn’t kill anyone related to me. He just – I guess he just spooked me, okay?” she asked, a bit more aggressively than she needed to.

“All right,” he replied, clearly not believing it but knowing better than to press the issue. “I’ll see you back at the office?”

“Yeah, sure,” she replied, giving him a quick smile before turning on her heel and marching toward the exit to the prison.

She waited until she had shut herself in her car before she cried.

Chapter 3

Wednesday, 8:59 a.m.

Moira crouched behind a dumpster, muscles tensed, senses alert. Her eyes were fixed on the building across the street – the abandoned glue factory, their target – but her ears focused on her radio, waiting for the team leader to give the order to move in. Andy crouched next to her, and she could feel the nervous energy flooding from his body.

Sure enough, a moment later, her headset exploded with chatter. “Team One, are you set?” came the leader’s voice.

“Ready,” came the reply.

“Team two, are you set?”

“We are.”

“Team three, are you set?”

“Ready,” Moira answered.

“Team four, set?”

“Yes.”

“Go!”

Moira sprang forward like a predatory animal, stalking toward the building and beckoning for Andy to follow. She reached one of the doors, old and wooden and even rotting in places. It was no trouble at all for Moira to kick it in. Gun out and pointed straight ahead, she stalked into the glue factory. At the other end of the room, one of the other teams kicked in another door, and several more agents came flooding through another.

The room they found themselves in was large and cavernous. It was devoid of people and furniture, but that did not mean it was empty. There were sleeping bags and mattresses strewn about the floor, along with plastic food wrappers and soda cups and cans. The corners of the immense room were a mess of spider webs. “Not just arsonists and murderers, but slobs, too,” the team leader intoned. “Fan out, search the adjoining rooms.”

Moira did so, breaking into one side room, then another. They told the same story – no people, lots of trash. In the second room, however, she spied a piece of paper amid the burrito wrappers and soda cups. Moira approached it slowly, raising a curious eyebrow, and picked it up. Scribbled on the page was a list of names. Names, addresses, and phone numbers. Most of the names were crossed out, but a few were not.

“Whoever was here, they’re not here now,” came Andy’s voice from behind her. She turned with a start, cursing herself for letting her guard down, even for a moment. She put a hand to her mouth and her cheeks flushed as she saw that it was only her partner, not a threat. “… Oh, I’m sorry,” he told her, looking mortified at having startled her.

“It’s all right,” she replied, with a calming smile. “What’ve we got?”

“Perps bugged out,” Andy repeated. “Looks like recently, too. Team Leader thinks they knew we were coming.”

Moira raised a startled eyebrow. “How could they have known?”

“Dunno,” Andy shrugged. “Good question. What’s that?” he asked, pointing to the piece of paper she held.

“A list, apparently,” she replied, handing the paper to him. “Of people. What they have in common, I’m not sure.”

Andy squinted as he scrutinized the page. “I recognize some of these names. They’re previous victims.”

“Yeah? So maybe the ones that aren’t crossed out –“

“People they’re planning to attack,” Andy caught on instantly. “We can warn them.”

“Slow down, partner,” Moira held up a hand to forestall his optimism, though she had the same thoughts. “Let’s get this back to the FBI building and cross-check the names against past arson victims with this group’s MO to make sure this really is a list of targets.”

Andy gave her a wry smile. “I’m pretty sure your picture is next to the word ‘anhedonia’ in the dictionary.”

It was a joke, and she knew he meant it that way, but it still stung. Moira didn’t let that show, of course. “Obsessive compulsive and anal retentive, that’s my middle name.”

“Long middle name.”

“My parents didn’t like me.”

Andy gave a brief laugh. “Good job on finding this,” he told her, then turned and walked from the room.

***

3:45 p.m.

“Alex!” came Lucian’s voice from behind her as she headed out of the school. Somehow, even when raised, his voice came across calm and non-threatening. He made his way through the throng of students heading toward the exit, and she found him at her side, the brown eyes fixed on her. She had seen little of him in the last two days, and so had not had any chance to cancel their  date, which she realized belatedly was supposed to be this afternoon. She opened her mouth to do so, but before she could, he spoke.

“How’s it going?” he asked, smiling warmly at her.

“Oh, you know,” she shrugged, feeling the warmth in her stomach and wishing it would go away. That would make it very difficult to say what she wanted to say. “School is school. I’m just glad the homework hasn’t really started yet.”

“Sooo…” he began  coyly. “That means you have some time to hang out with me, then, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Alex began, gathering her courage to tell him she’d changed her mind. Why was it so hard to do? “About that…” She fidgeted with her hands as she prepared to deliver her message.

But Lucian took advantage of her hesitation. “Don’t tell me you’ve found someone better?” he asked, facial expression fearful, as if he was dreading her answer.

“Well…” she began, feeling like maybe, just maybe, she could do it now.

Apparently seeing that he had only a split-second window, Lucian spoke again, giving her an ironic smile. “Come on,” he intoned. “It usually takes at least two dates before a girl decides they want nothing to do with me. Don’t set my new record.”

There was a quality about it all – his speech, his words, his manner – that was aloof while at the same time commanding her sympathy. The words were detached, but his inflections (as well as the gleam in his soft brown eyes) somehow told her that her answer actually mattered to him. The exchange made her feel special. It melted her heart a bit, and robbed her of the conviction to say “no,” as she had planned.

“Well … all right,” she replied shyly.

Lucian beamed at her – and was it just her imagination, or was there a predatory quality to the grin? The question was forgotten in the electric tingle as he took her hand, and the two of them headed out together into the clear, sunny afternoon.

***

4:00 p.m.

Moira McBain and Andy Hall pulled up in the driveway of the Cronlords’ two story house, the afternoon sun beaming down on their small golden car. “Y’know,” Moira remarked to Andy as the car slowed to a stop. “This is the part of the job I’ve never gotten used to.”

“What’s that?” Andy inquired, eyeing her curiously.

“How d’ya tell someone that some kids are gonna burn their house down?”

Andy gave her a bemused expression. “Just like that, I think. Can’t think of a lot of ways to sugarcoat that particular piece of news.”

Moira laughed softly. “All right then,” she told him, taking a breath as she pushed her car door open. “Let’s go get this over with.”

With Andy behind her, Moira walked to the doorway and rang the bell. “Just a minute!” came a thick, rich voice from the other side of the door, and a moment later, a woman stood in the doorway. Curvy and medium-height, the woman positively exuded authority, her green eyes piercing and dissecting both Moira and Andy within a second of seeing them. Even after several years as an FBI agent, Moira had only rarely met someone with whom she felt so ill at ease.

“May I help you two?” the woman asked, giving them a cheerful smile.

“Yes, I think so,” Moira answered, reaching into her jacket and pulling out her badge, displaying it for the woman. “I’m Moira McBain, this is Andy Hall, we’re with the FBI. You’re Ainsling Cronlord?”

“That would be me,” Ainsling answered in a clipped tone. It wasn’t rude, but it wasn’t particularly welcoming, either. “Have I done something wrong?”

“Oh, no,” Moira laughed briefly. “It’s nothing like that. Actually, we’re here because we’re concerned about what other people might do to you.”

“Oh?” Cronlord asked, raising an eyebrow.

Moira nodded. “I’m afraid so. May we come in? It shouldn’t take long.”

There was a hesitation, ever-so-slight, before the woman smiled and answered, “Of course, yes.” She was no doubt hoping that the two agents would not notice it, but Moira did. The woman stood aside, allowing Moira and Andy to enter, then led them to her living room. She gestured them toward the couch, while she herself took a large, cushioned easy chair to one side, her posture almost regal.

Andy’s eyes immediately fell to a picture that sat on the coffee table in front of the couch, a picture of Ainsling standing next to a tall, lanky man with a young, blonde girl in front of them. “This your family?” Andy asked, looking up at her, pointing to the picture.

“They are indeed,” she answered with a grin. “My husband sells insurance, and our Alex just started tenth grade this week.”

“You must be very proud,” Andy commented.

“Of course,” Ainsling replied. “So, you said we were in some kind of danger?”

“Unfortunately, you might be,” Moira told her. “Are you familiar with the recent rash of home fires in this area?”

“Yes,” Ainsling answered immediately, and Moira noted that she seemed not the slightest bit surprised at the inquiry. “The newspapers say the police think it’s arson. Do you believe we might be a target?”

“We raided an abandoned glue factory this morning that we think was being used by the people responsible for the fires,” Andy told her. “They weren’t there, but they left a list of names behind. A significant number of people on the list correspond with victims of the house fires. We’re sending agents to the homes of the other people on the list to warn them to be alert, since we think they may be the next targets.”

Ainsling nodded. “Very courteous of you,” she told Andy, in her clipped tone, dissecting the man once again with her eyes. “So, anything in particular we should be on the lookout for?”

“Well, we think the perpetrators are young – some adolescents, some in their twenties – so, if you see any kids lurking around that you don’t know….”

“I’ll be on the lookout,” Ainsling replied briskly, giving a perfunctory nod and seeming almost disinterested.

Andy’s eyes glanced to the picture, then back to Ainsling. “How old is your daughter?”

“Alex? She’s fifteen.”

“Do you know all her friends?” Andy asked her.

“Who ever knows all of a fifteen year old child’s friends?” Ainsling laughed dismissively, standing from her chair. “Certainly not her parents. Would you two like some tea, or something?” she asked, starting to walk out of the room, presumably toward the kitchen.

“It’s an important question, Mrs. Cronlord,” Moira put in. “We don’t know exactly how these kids are getting close enough to the houses to burn them down. For all we know, they could be getting the owners to let them in voluntarily, claiming to be friends of their kids or something.”

Cronlord turned her head, her mouth opening to reply, but before she could actually speak, she tripped over a book that someone had left on the floor. She fell with a yelp, her eyes widening in surprise, and as she did, a necklace flew out from underneath her blouse, a necklace with an intricately-carved metal symbol hanging on it. It was a symbol which, to Moira, was all-too-familiar.

“Dammit, Alex,” Ainsling grunted, anger seething in her voice. “I told you to clean up after yourse—“

But before she could even finish her sentence, Moira was up from the couch, charging toward Ainsling, grabbing her by the collar as she tried to right herself, and slamming her against the back wall with a CRASH! Moira took vengeful satisfaction in Ainsling’s expression, which betrayed the first traces of fear that Moira had seen in the other woman’s face. “Wells Society, huh?” Moira snarled at her. “What the hell are you doing to that poor girl?”

“Excuse me?” Ainsling shot back, trying to feign surprise – but to Moira, it was an obvious ploy.

“I know who you people are,” Moira growled. “Your whole game is sacrificing your children to your insane religion. Give me one good reason not to call Child Welfare right the fuck now.”

Ainsling’s fear disappeared instantly, replaced by a smug, almost predatory smile, and she replied coolly, “Because if you do, Agent McBain, you know perfectly well that they won’t find anything. If you know us as well as you claim – which you don’t, by the way – then you know we’re very good at covering our tracks. And I can assure you that, if I do get any calls from those folks, I’ll be having a talk with your supervisor at the FBI about the little assault you’re committing right now. So let’s just keep this whole thing our little secret, eh?”

Slowly, Moira released Ainsling, her face smoldering. She turned toward the door, beckoning Andy to follow her. “You’re lucky it’s my job to stop these adolescent arsonists, Mrs. Cronlord,” she told Ainsling as she headed for the door, not even turning to look at the other woman as she spoke. “Otherwise, I might just let you burn.”

… Continued…

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Weaver
(The Weaver Saga)
by John Abramowitz
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Keep You From Harm (Remedy, Volume 1)

by Debra Doxer

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Here’s the set-up:

Secrets…

They weigh you down. I’ve kept a secret all my life. It’s my mother’s secret, too. I inherited it from her along with a unique ability that only we possess. She’s gone now, another victim of addiction. If her death isn’t enough to bring me to my knees, her betrayal flays me to the bone. Because the secret my mother and I have been keeping is just one of many she’d kept. She never told me I have an older brother. And now he’s here, eager to be my guardian.

There is no one else. So I move across the country to live with this stranger, my brother. But experience has taught me that most situations are temporary and forming attachments only leads to hurt in the end. That’s why I’m determined to keep to myself in this new place, struggling to seem aloof while I’m quietly breaking apart.

Then I meet Lucas…

His magnetism is hard to resist, and most girls at school aren’t resisting. I don’t fall so easily though, especially not for guys who use their good looks as a weapon. From the start, our interactions are tense and volatile. I know it’s because I’m denying the unwelcome desire that grips me when he’s near. I think he feels it, too. He looks at me with an intensity that threatens to unhinge my resolve. Soon he’s trying to break through the walls that past hurts have built.

But I’m not what I appear to be, and it wouldn’t be fair to get involved with him. At least that’s what I tell myself. Until a terrible act of violence reveals that Lucas has a secret, too. It’s a secret that links us together and ties us to an evil history I never could have imagined.

Praise for Keep You From Harm:

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Sizzling Pages Romance Reviews

“It has depth. It has betrayal, death, and love. Then the paranormal aspect hits and it amps this book from good to awesome…”
-Reading and Writing Urban Fantasy, Paranormal, and Romance

an excerpt from

Keep You From Harm

by Debra Doxer

Chapter 1

The first strange thing I notice when I approach my building is the absence of a crowd. In the two years we’ve lived here, our front stoop has been home to a revolving bunch of drug dealers and pimps who congregate around one of the biggest underworld purveyors of both services, a guy by the name of Apollo. He lives on the first floor directly below us. Despite his unsavory lifestyle, he’s been decent to me since we moved here, and we have an odd sort of friendship.

I climb the deserted concrete steps with my heavy backpack knocking against my tailbone. When I reach the top, I check our mailbox. The floor is littered with the same junk mail I find piled inside. Pulling it out, I bunch it under my arm as I head through the main entrance, a fractured glass door with a useless lock. I’ve lived in lots of places over the years, but this is by far the worst with its unrelenting bug issues and the stale odor of sweat and cigarettes seeping from the walls. I spend as little time here as possible.

I look toward Apollo’s door as I pass. It’s cracked open, but there’s no sign of him. I briefly consider knocking and asking him where everyone disappeared to, but then I think better of it. I’ve never just dropped in on him before. The fact is, Apollo is unpredictable, and he can be downright scary at times. I don’t want to risk his wrath today.

As I continue past his apartment and begin climbing the narrow stairwell, there’s an unsettling prickle on the back of my neck. Something is off. I can sense it. But I move slowly, cautiously rounding the corner and glancing up at our door. It’s closed, and there’s nothing out of the ordinary apparent on the second floor landing. The burned out fluorescents and the scuffed doorways loom above me, silent and familiar. When I step out of the stairwell, I stand listening as I pull the key from my pocket. The entire building is unusually quiet this afternoon.

The deadbolt turns too easily, and I realize our door isn’t locked. Sometimes my mother forgets to lock it despite my constant reminders. I step inside and begin looking around. Our tiny one bedroom apartment seems the same as it did when I said goodbye to my mother this morning and left for school. I shake my head and chastise myself for my paranoia.

Ignoring my unease, I toss the mail and my backpack on the couch that also serves as my bed and head into the kitchen to find some food. I make a beeline for the refrigerator and quickly locate a plate of leftover pasta from last night. When I turn to put the pasta on the table, I freeze. The plate drops from my hand, hitting the floor with a clank as I gasp at the nightmare in front of me. I see my mother in one of the kitchen chairs. Her limp body is draped over the table. Her blonde hair is soaking in her pooling blood.

I’m pinned in place as my comprehension wars with my denial. When the horrific image doesn’t disappear, my legs start to tremble, and I fall to my knees before her. My gaze travels over her too still form as I reach out to place my fingers on her arm. Her skin is ice cold, but I grip it anyway. The only sound I hear is my ragged breathing as the floor seems to tilt beneath me. I’ve feared this moment for so long, but not this way. This makes no sense.

Slowing my breathing down, I draw it in as deeply as I can. I reach inside myself for the familiar energy, but it isn’t there. There’s nothing. I feel only emptiness. She’s gone, and this time it’s forever.

***

I’m not sure how long I sat there in the kitchen before finally dialing 911. I didn’t want to make that call. I didn’t want this to be real. Right now, I can almost fool myself into believing that she’s disappeared again and will turn up when she’s ready. I want to pretend that’s the truth. I want to pretend hard enough that the images of her blood and her lifeless body disappear.

She’s been like a boomerang in my life, screwing up and losing me, then returning all bright and shiny with a mouthful of promises. I’ve spent most of my childhood hating my mother during her absences and fearing her abandonment during her brief stints of sobriety when she regained custody of me, pulled me out of foster care, and pretended we were going to be a family. It fucked me up, the constant upheaval. It forced me to shut down in order to cope. And now I don’t know how to react normally to this extreme situation, and the detectives are looking at me like I’m a puzzle they can’t seem to solve.

I’ve been at the police station for hours. I should be grief-stricken. Rivers of tears should be flowing out of me, but instead I feel numb and heavy, like all the gravity in this square, windowless room is concentrated on me.

After answering questions for the entire afternoon and into the evening, the detectives finally ask me if I have any family they can contact. When I shake my head, they talk about calling Social Services, and I’m left alone to wait.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve learned that my mother took a blow to the back of her head with an unknown object. I told them that I had no idea who would want to hurt her. It’s the truth. Two years ago, when she was still an alcoholic and a drug addict, that list would have been miles long. But she’s been clean since she got me back, and no one would know better than me if that fact had changed.

The police seem to believe that her death is the result of her old life coming back to haunt her. I don’t doubt that’s a possibility. I’m sure that Apollo and the rest of the building tenants know something. I wonder if the police questioned them. If so, I bet they learned nothing. The residents of our building are not the types who believe in cooperating with the authorities.

The door opens again, and the same detective I’ve spent most of the day with enters the room holding a thick file. His name is Brady. He’s very young for a detective, and he’s good-looking in a clean-cut I iron my undershirts kind of way. His dark hair is neatly trimmed, and his light brown eyes convey the perfect mix of concern and gravity. I get the impression he’s been assigned to me because he’s closer to my age than the rest of them. They probably think I’ll feel more comfortable around him. It’s foolish of them to think I’ll feel comfortable around anyone tonight. I feel nothing at all right now, and I’m glad for it.

“Your brother is on his way,” Detective Brady says.

My weary eyes widen. His non sequitur wakes me up like no alarm clock could. I wonder what kind of a joke he’s playing.

“He’s flying in from New York. He’ll be here tomorrow.”

He appears serious. I sit forward in my chair and calmly repeat myself. “I told you. I don’t have any family.”

His lips press together in a thin line. “I just learned that Social Services contacted him about an hour ago. He said he’s willing to take custody of you.”

I bark out a laugh and shake my head. He’s seriously confused. “I. Don’t. Have. A. Brother,” I say slowly, enunciating each word so he’ll understand.

Detective Brady lowers himself into the chair across from me and sets the thick file on the table between us. He looks almost as tired as I feel. “Actually, you do. He’s been petitioning the court for custody of you for the past two years.” He places his hand on top of the closed file.

My eyes travel from the file back to him. I shake my head at the certainty in his expression. “There must be some mistake.”

“Your mother never told you this?” he asks.

My stomach clenches as doubt starts to seep in.

“Did your mother tell you where she’s originally from?”

“Upstate New York,” I answer, gripping my hands together under the table.

He nods. “That’s where your brother still lives with his family. Your mother left when he was six years old. His father, your mother’s husband, still lives there, too. They had no idea where she was until a hospital here in San Diego contacted them about two and a half years ago. She was being treated for a drug overdose at the time and they found ID on her that led them to her husband in New York.”

My mind is processing what he’s telling me, fitting it into place with what I already know. I knew about the drug overdose and about the subsequent treatment, which finally succeeded. That’s when she regained custody of me for the last time. I knew she was from New York and that she was married there. I didn’t know she had a baby before me. I didn’t know she still had a husband there. I definitely didn’t know she was keeping such a big secret. All the goodwill she earned from me over the past two years begins to evaporate.

“It looks like your brother has been trying to gain custody since he found out about you. But because your mother was able to prove she was fit to care for you, they wouldn’t consider his petition.” He pauses. “You really didn’t know any of this?”

While he was speaking, my eyes shifted back to the thick file on the table, which obviously contains this information about my mother and me, information that she never bothered to share. Why didn’t she tell me I had a brother? Was that what kept her sober? The fear of losing custody of me to him? This threat was big enough to keep her sober when nothing else could? Suddenly, the idea of this brother feels threatening.

“Raielle?”

My head is spinning as I wrack my brain for anything my mother might have said that would hint at this. But there’s nothing. I glance over at the detective and shake my head. “I didn’t know.”

He eyes me with silent sympathy.

“Do I have to go with him?” I ask suddenly.

He raises his eyebrows at me.

“Do I get a choice?”

His lips form the tight straight line I’ve become accustomed to over the past few hours. “You’re a minor. He’s the only relative we’re aware of, and he’s willing to take you. What are your other options?”

I’m about to say foster care, but I know the system won’t want me back when I have a relative who is offering to take me off their hands.

When it’s obvious that I have no reply, he continues. “Social Services will be here soon. You’ll be placed somewhere temporarily while everything gets sorted out.”

I sit silently while a storm brews inside me. The numbness that got me through today is erased by a growing panic. We kept a secret together, my mother and me. But I didn’t know she had other secrets that she kept to herself. I was finally beginning to trust her, but she’d been keeping this from me all along. We celebrated my seventeenth birthday and the start of her second year sober just last spring. It was the first time she’d ever bought me a real birthday cake. She had my name written on it in pink icing. Her pale blue eyes shined so brightly in the candlelight as she told me to make a wish and blow them out.

Warm hands press down on my shoulders, startling me. “You’re shaking,” Detective Brady says. “Maybe you should lie down. I’ll get you some water.”

His concerned eyes hover before me. I take a deep breath, and I will myself to calm down. I open a drawer inside a familiar cabinet, and I force the breakdown my body craves deep within it. This is what I do. This is how I stay focused on what’s important. There are an infinite number of drawers in my imaginary cabinet, and I can only hope that it never crumbles under the weight of what’s hiding inside.

“What about a funeral?” I ask, my voice strained but strong now in the quiet room.

He straightens, eyeing me curiously. Then he rubs his hand along the back of his neck. When he answers, I can see he’s choosing his words carefully. “Once we’re done, you can make arrangements for her. If you don’t have enough funds, there are services that can help you take care of things.”

I interpret his vague statements to mean that the medical examiner still has her, and she can be buried along with the other indigent people once her body is released.

Then once again, I’m left alone with another cup of water. My muscles are tense. I don’t move despite how badly I want to bolt out of here right now. But I just sit, running the detective’s words through my head, not sure what they mean for me, not sure how to feel about this brother who has appeared out of thin air. My racing thoughts are a jumbled mess, and my mother’s betrayal feels like ice running through my veins. I need it all to stop. I want the numbness back.

There is no clock in here, and I don’t know how long I’ve been waiting before a short, squat woman with dull, dark hair abruptly pushes through the door. This is the woman from Social Services. I’ve never met this one, but they all have the same characteristics: tired eyes, a too bright smile, and a rushed demeanor which seems to signify that everything they’re doing is an emergency.

She sits across from me like a settling wind. She doesn’t mention my brother. Instead, she tells me that she’s taking me to a facility for the night. The police have brought some clothes for me from the apartment. She has those with her. I stop listening as I follow her out. I’ve been to this place before. I know the drill.

I passively allow myself to be placed in a car, driven across town, and then shuttled through a building where I’m served a dinner I don’t eat, and deposited into a room with four single beds, three of which are already occupied by other silent, sullen girls. I am afraid of the images I might see when I close my eyes that night. But thankfully, I’m so drained that sleep comes quickly, and it’s a temporary, but welcome break from reality.

Chapter 2

When I see him, there’s no mistaking who he is. The same dark, blonde curls that flow down my back are cropped close to his head. He stares at me with the familiar pale blue eyes that my mother and I also share. His tall, rangy build is the male equivalent of my narrow five foot eight inch frame.

“Hello, Raielle. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.” He smiles, and it appears genuine, but I nearly cringe when he mispronounces my name the same way most people do.

“Raielle Blackwood, this is Kyle Dean,” the social worker says, also mangling my name. “Your brother,” she adds as I stand there staring at him. We’re in a small room at the Social Services office. The bright morning sun streams in through a single window set high into the concrete wall. My belongings are packed inside a familiar oversized duffle bag, which used to reside in our closet and is now sitting in the corner. The items inside were gathered from the apartment by strangers since I’m not allowed back in. Apparently, the crime scene is part of an ongoing investigation, and it can’t be disturbed.

“It’s pronounced Ray-elle not Rye-elle,” I inform him.

My brother’s grin falters, and he glances at the social worker. Her plastered on smile also falls briefly before reappearing. “Well, Raielle” she begins, saying it correctly as she steps toward the door. “I’ll let you two get acquainted while I finish the paperwork.” Then she promptly leaves the room.

My gaze gradually tracks from the closed door to the stranger standing before me. We eye each other in awkward silence, and I can see that he’s noting our similarities the same way I am. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you,” he says gently, like he’s talking to a skittish animal that might dart away if startled.

It hurts to look into his eyes, my mother’s eyes. As though reading my thoughts, he says, “I’m very sorry about your mother.” When I don’t respond, he adds, “Our mother.”

“That’s funny,” I lob back at him, unreasonably angered by his words. “She never mentioned you.”

His brow wrinkles, and he studies me curiously. “If you were trying to hurt me, you succeeded,” he finally says.

I’m thrown by his honesty. I watch him walk toward a ratty looking couch that’s pushed against the wall. He sits down, folding his long legs and clasping his hands together. “I live in Fort Upton, New York with my wife and my three-year-old daughter,” he tells me.

I stand in the middle of the room and continue to take him in. When I woke up this morning, a part of me was clinging to the hope that this was all a mistake. My mother would never keep something this big from me. But looking at him now, my throat grows tight. This is undoubtedly my brother, and by the way he reacted to my mean-spirited comment, it seems that even in her absence, she fucked him up, too.

“We’re setting up a room for you in our basement. It’s been finished. It’s carpeted and heated. It’s my daughter’s playroom. But we can turn it into a nice bedroom for you.” He’s watching me for my reaction.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask.

He takes a deep breath and exhales loudly. “Because you’re my sister. Because I didn’t even know I had a sister until two years ago when I found out our mother was a drug addict who had been neglecting you.”

I blink at him blandly, purposely not reacting to his words, but not liking his blunt description of my mother, despite its truth.

“Since then, I’ve wanted to meet you. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You wanted custody of me,” I clarify.

He nods. “Yes, if you weren’t being properly cared for I wanted to become your guardian. I understand you just learned of that yesterday.”

“Why do you think Mom never mentioned you?”

He watches me for a moment before answering. “I honestly have no idea. The last time I saw her I was six-years-old. You knew her much better than I did.”

His words are spoken calmly now, like he has no feelings about his abandonment. He’s right though. I did know my mother well or at least I thought I did. She was a weak person. Generally, when I wondered why my mother did or didn’t do something, the answer was because it’s hard. I can’t help but wonder why walking away from her son wasn’t too hard.

“I’d like us to leave this afternoon.”

I focus on him again.

“I’ve got your plane ticket and your things. My wife is looking into getting you enrolled in the high school.”

I start to feel panicky again. “But I have to bury her. There has to be a funeral.”

He nods. “I’ve already arranged it with a local funeral home. I’m taking care of her burial, but we can’t stay to plan the funeral. I have to get back. We can have a ceremony once we’re in Fort Upton if you like.”

“What did you arrange?”

“She’ll be buried in San Marcos Cemetery just outside of town. I ordered the casket and the headstone.”

I stare at him wondering how much that must have cost. After the way she walked out on him, I can hardly believe that he’s done this so quickly and willingly. I feel the gathering tears burning my eyes. I never could have paid for any of this. “Thank you,” I whisper.

His expression turns sympathetic, and I see another emotion that resembles compassion passing over his features.

I know I need to change the subject before I lose it in front of him. “Have you arranged to have my school records transferred?” I ask. “I have to be in the same level classes I’m enrolled in now.”

To my surprise, he nearly smiles as he shakes his head. “It’s been less than forty-eight hours. I haven’t gotten to that yet.”

I nod and start listing what needs to be done. “I’m in all accelerated and advanced placement classes. The colleges I’ve applied to will be making their decisions soon and I need to be in those same classes at my new school to maintain my ranking.” I glance up and see him smirking.

“I take it you’re a good student,” he says.

“Yes,” I inform him. Generally, with my background, that comes as a surprise to people.

He sobers at my seriousness. I’m as serious as a heart attack when it comes to school. This is my way out. This is how I know I won’t follow in my mother’s footsteps. This is my constant. Every time my mother disappeared, and I was placed somewhere new, I diverted my attention to getting all my academic ducks in a row.  Right now, I need this lifeline more than ever.

“Okay,” he agrees. “We’ll get to work on that next. I don’t know much about the high school, but our school district has a good reputation.”

I offer him a tight, but thankful smile.

“Do you already know what you want to study in college?

I answer immediately. “I want to take pre-med courses.”

This seems to intrigue him. “You want to be a doctor?”

I shake my head at the thought of that. I could never spend so much time near sick people. “No. I want to do research. Help cure diseases.”

His eyes are intent on mine. It looks as though he wants to say something more, but he takes a deep breath and turns away. “Let’s see if that paperwork is ready,” he says, moving toward the door.

As I watch the tall form of the man who is my brother leave the room, I can no longer hold back the avalanche of apprehension I’m feeling. I’m used to moving. I’m used to strangers taking me in. But my brother is a different kind of stranger. He’s already eliciting unwelcome emotions that I hardly recognize. I can only imagine what it would be like to have him as a real older brother, one who watches out for me and feels like family. I wonder if that’s what he wants. If so, would I welcome it or would I inevitably push him away? If he doesn’t want that, would I be disappointed? I’m surprised when I realize the answer to that may be yes.

I lower myself onto the same couch he just vacated and rub my hands over my face, trying to clear my head. I’ll be eighteen in a few months. I won’t be in his house long enough for any bonds to form and that’s probably for the best. Emotions are dangerous. So are expectations.

Chapter 3

I’ve never flown on an airplane before. It’s an odd feeling knowing that we’re winging our way across the country, putting thousands of miles between me and San Diego. I’ve never even left the state and within minutes of taking off, California is behind us along with my mother and the chaotic life I’ve lived up to now.

Kyle seems okay to me. It’s hard to get a read on him. I’ve learned some facts about him while we’ve been traveling. He’s an auditor for the state of New York, which is like an accountant, he tells me. His wife stays at home with their daughter. He volunteered to me that he had a happy childhood. He was raised by his father and his father’s girlfriend. They never married because his father couldn’t find my mother to obtain a divorce from her. I knew my mother wasn’t married to my own father, but she used his last name. I thought it was because she wanted to have the same last name as me. Maybe she was using it to hide the whole time.

It’s dark when Kyle pulls into the driveway of a quaint, single story white house. From what I can see, it’s in the middle of a neighborhood crowded with other similar homes.

“Are you sure your wife is okay with this?” I ask Kyle for the third or fourth time.

“Chloe is fine with it. She’s looking forward to meeting you.”

When I step out of the car, I feel an unfamiliar chill in the air. It’s early spring, but New York obviously hasn’t gotten the memo. Kyle opens the trunk, and I pull out my duffle bag. He’s withdrawing his own bag when I hear voices. I look over at the house next door. Three guys are standing in front of a dark colored truck parked in the driveway. They all look tall and athletic. Two of them are horsing around as one pushes the other and then barks out a laugh.

“Those boys are your age. Myles lives there. He’s a senior, too.” Kyle explains. When he closes the trunk, the one who has been standing silently, apart from the other two, turns toward us. He’s taller and broader than his friends are. It’s too dark to see him clearly, but rather than glance at us and turn back around, he seems to be staring right at me.

“You’ll meet them when you start school,” Kyle continues, taking both bags and heading up the walkway.

His shadowed silhouette pulls at me as I stand rooted there, and my heart starts to pump faster. From his outline, I notice wide shoulders that taper down to a trim waist and long, lean legs. His hair is thick with unruly waves that curl down just past his collar. As he watches me, unmoving, I can’t help but wonder if his eyes are traveling over me in the same assessing way. I can feel my cheeks heat, and I’m thankful for the cover of night. I’m not boy crazy. I never have been. So, my reaction to this stranger takes me by surprise, and I purposely snap myself out of it. I tear my eyes away from him, and I catch up with Kyle.

The front door swings open, spilling light out onto the walkway. I hesitate as Kyle moves more quickly and embraces the woman who steps out to meet him. She has a round face framed by long, brown hair, parted in the middle and swept back behind her ears. Her chin rests on Kyle’s shoulder. Her dark eyes widen when they find me standing behind him. I hear her gasp. She pulls out of his embrace and continues to stare at me.

“Raielle, this is my wife, Chloe,” Kyle says.

“She looks so much like you,” Chloe whispers, her gaze moving over me in shock.

He acknowledges her observation with a tired grin. “Let’s go inside.”

Chloe seems to realize she’s staring at me and rearranges her face into a tight smile. As her surprise settles, her assessing eyes find mine. “It’s nice to meet you, Raielle,” she says before turning to go into the house.

Warning bells start to go off in my head. The look on Chloe’s face, I’ve seen it before, too many times in too many foster homes. She’s wary of having me here, but her reluctance is loosely packaged within a façade of good manners.

I follow them through the front door into a small sitting area with floral couches and bright yellow walls. “I’m very sorry about your mother,” she says quietly, looking up at me. Chloe is about average height which means, in my clunky shoes, I tower over her. She’s curvy and attractive with round eyes that shimmer in the dimly lit room.

I feel awkward and out of place as I glance around their home wondering if I’ve just stepped into an alternate reality. This is the kind of overly decorated middle class house you see on sitcoms. “Thank you for letting me stay here,” I say politely.

“No need to thank us,” Chloe says. “I’m afraid you’ll have to sleep on the couch tonight. Our friends have an extra bed they’re giving us. But it won’t be here until tomorrow.”

“That’s fine,” I tell her, not bothering to mention that I’m used to sleeping on the couch.

“Are you hungry?”  She asks like she’ll actually make me a meal if I say yes.

I shake my head.

“We got dinner at the airport,” Kyle explains.

Chloe clasps her hands in front of her. “Well, you’re probably tired.” She points behind her. “The bathroom is right down the hall, and the kitchen is in there. Penelope is sleeping. So, you’ll meet her in the morning before I take her to preschool.”

“We’ll get your school records taken care of tomorrow,” Kyle reassures me before I can remind him.

“You can start school whenever you’re ready,” Chloe says brightly. “You’re all registered. The high school is just about a mile that way. Most of the kids in this neighborhood walk, but I can drive you if you like, especially on the cold mornings.”

“Could I start this week?” I ask. I’m anxious to make the unfamiliar familiar, to begin a reliable routine.

“Why don’t you wait until next week?” Kyle suggests.

I’m about to plead my case when Chloe speaks up. “Let Raielle rest tomorrow and then start on Friday if she wants.”

Her support surprises me, and I think it surprises Kyle, too. But as he looks at her, I can see him weighing his decision. At that moment, a realization hits me. Kyle is in charge of my life now. Although my environment has always been out of control, I’ve been in control of my actions and myself. For the first time though, I may be living with an authority figure who intends to pay attention.

Kyle sighs. “Fine. If you want to start Friday, go ahead. But if you change your mind, you can always start next week.”

I smile at his decision and nod my agreement.

Then I watch as Chloe makes up the couch for me. Once that task is complete, Kyle and Chloe smile awkwardly as they say their goodnights. The whole situation is bizarre and uncomfortable. My brother and his wife have just met me for the first time, and here I am living with them. We’re strangers, and we certainly do not hug each other despite the pause after Chloe’s goodnight when I think she may be weighing that possibility. I’m relieved when she doesn’t follow through. Unless I’m reading her hesitation wrong, and she’s actually worried about my stealing their stuff while they’re asleep. I find myself smiling at that thought. Chloe seems like the typical sheltered suburban girl. Something I’m certainly not. I’ve been exposed to my fair share of crime, but I’ve never directly committed any offenses myself. At times, I’ve been hungry enough to think about stealing food, but I never did. When there was no money to buy notebooks for school, rather than swipe them from a store, I would raid the recycle bins behind the school for discarded handouts or even write on my clothes and make sure not to wash them until after the exam. I’ve worked hard not to stumble into the typical pitfalls of my situation. Chloe has nothing to worry about, and I wonder if I have anything to worry about where she’s concerned.

I could have imagined the grudging acceptance of my arrival in her expression. Even if it’s true, and she doesn’t want me here, I can’t really blame her. I come from a messed up situation. She has no idea what to expect from me.

I pull in a deep breath, surprised by how shaky and disoriented I feel. After slipping on some sweats and a T-shirt, I locate my toothbrush and trudge to the bathroom. When the light comes on, I see lots of blue tile on the walls and on the floor. To my left is a bathtub filled with toys, including a yellow rubber ducky. No doubt about it, this is an alternate reality, a home filled with the clichés. My lips dip down into a small disbelieving frown before I turn toward the sink to brush my teeth.

I slept so soundly last night that I am unprepared for the restlessness that keeps me awake on the couch for hours, watching the hands on the clock inch their way toward morning. It’s too quiet here, not like in the city. With only the noise of a ticking second hand to break through the silence, I have to work hard to block out the images that won’t be put away so easily tonight. I roll from my left side to my right, feeling the place where the couch cushions meet digging into my side.

I finally doze off just as the sky begins to brighten only to be startled awake by a loud “Hi” directly beside my face. I turn to see a little girl tilting her head at me as though she’s trying to decide exactly what I am.

“Hi,” I say wearily to her as I sit up stiffly.

“I’ve got purple marbles,” she states, lifting her hand to show me several marbles resting in her palm.

“That’s nice,” I reply, smiling my amusement through a wide yawn.

“You can have one.” She pushes her hand at me.

I reach out carefully and take one from her.

She grins at me before turning to run into the kitchen with her loose hair flying behind her. “I gave her a marble!” I hear the girl exclaim.

“Sit down and eat your breakfast, Penelope,” Chloe says. Then she steps out of the kitchen, dishcloth in hand, and looks at me. “Did you sleep well?”

I nod even though I didn’t.

“That’s Penelope. Her favorite color this week is purple.”

I grin. I’m used to living with little kids.

“Would you like some breakfast? We’ve got fruit and cereal,” Chloe offers.

I shake my head. Every time I closed my eyes last night, I saw blonde hair swimming in a pool of congealing blood on our kitchen table. My queasy stomach will definitely protest if I put food in it.

I turn away and grab my duffle bag. I want a shower and then a long walk to clear my head.

Once I’m dressed, I find Chloe still in the kitchen, cleaning up from breakfast. “Is there a downtown I could walk to?” I ask.

“Well, yes,” she says, turning from the sink to look at me. “But if you’d like to wait, I can take you after I’ve dropped Penelope off at school.”

I smile politely at her offer, but I don’t want company this morning. “I actually feel like walking. I was just looking for a destination.”

“Oh,” she remarks, seeming unsure before reluctantly giving me directions to the town center, which turns out to be about two miles away.

“Take my cell number with you in case you get lost.” She turns to find a piece of paper to write on.

“Okay, but I don’t have a phone to call you from.”

She turns back around to face me, seeming at first surprised and then worried as she stares at me and chews her bottom lip. Then she reaches into a drawer and hands me an extra house key. Watching her, it almost feels like she’s nervous. Uneasiness pricks at me as I wonder what’s causing this reaction. A part of me just wants to ask her. Between the graciousness she displayed last night that seemed forced and her strange hesitation this morning, I really don’t know what to make of her. But, of course, I won’t say anything. Sometimes confrontation works. Other times, it just digs you deeper. I’ve never gotten in trouble for not saying something.

Once I’m outside, I stop at the end of the walkway and glance around the neighborhood. It’s a bright morning with no hint of the winter chill from last night. I’ve never lived anywhere where the seasons change and my slim wardrobe reflects that. I wonder about the possibility of finding a job. Back  home I had part-time jobs all over town, and once a week Apollo would pay me to sit on the stoop and collect cash that was owed to him. Familiar people would stop by to hand varying amounts of money to me. I was supposed to check their names off a hand-written list he gave me. I never asked questions, and I always turned in every cent. He once told me I was the only person he completely trusted.

I turn when I hear someone yelling “Hey” from the house next door. The owner of the voice has long, sandy hair that he pushes off his forehead as he nears. An olive-colored messenger bag is strapped across his chest, and it bounces lightly against his khaki-covered hip. I recognize his silhouette as belonging to one of the boys I saw laughing last night, but definitely not the tall one who I think was staring at me. The guy coming toward me could easily pass for one of the surfers that were abundant at my old school.

He stops in front of me. We’re about the same height, and I stand perfectly still while he unabashedly looks me over from head to toe. “You are going to be a very popular girl here,” he says with a smile that displays deep dimples in both cheeks.

Despite his statement, the glint in his eyes isn’t appreciative or predatory. It’s closer to intrigued or amused, and I wonder if he’s popular or picked on here.

“I’m Myles and you must be the long lost sister I’ve heard about.”

I arch a brow at him. “You’ve heard about me?”

He shrugs. “Chloe and my mom are friends. What’s your name?” he asks.

“Raielle.”

“Well, Raielle, will you be attending Fort Upton High School?”

I nod.

“You’ll have to let me introduce you around. When do you start?”

“Tomorrow.”

He shifts his weight and leans in closer to me. “Did you leave a boyfriend back home, Raielle?”

I tilt my head at him. The way he’s saying my name, like he’s teasing me, is both endearing and annoying. I can’t decide if I want to be genuine with him or shoot him down with sarcasm. The hint of playfulness in his light brown gaze makes me think that he doesn’t take himself too seriously. I go with genuine. “No boyfriend back home. What about you? Have you got a boyfriend?”

He lets out a laugh, pretending I’m joking. When he realizes I’m not, his eyes widen and his mouth drops open before he swiftly closes it.

I immediately realize my mistake. “Oh, sorry.”

He studies me for a minute before clearing his throat and taking a step back.

Now I feel bad. “Don’t worry. I won’t say anything.”

His brow furrows, and he looks like he’s going to deny it, but then he takes a deep breath and asks, “How did you know?”

“I just did,” I shrug. “It probably sounds lame to say some of my best friends are gay, but it’s actually true.” I smile. After realizing that being attractive was a huge handicap in a foster home when the foster dads and foster brothers were often perverts or worse, I started gravitating toward the gay boys. They were generally safer, and if I was lucky, they protected me.

He offers me a lopsided grin that shows his dimples again. “It’s not really common knowledge.  My friend Lucas knows. I think my parents might suspect, but I’m not interested in having that conversation with them any time soon.” He shifts his messenger bag and runs a hand through his hair again. “I think we’re going to have to be friends. You know, so you don’t get homesick for your old buddies.”

I look him up and down, pretending to think it over. “Yeah, that sounds all right.”

He grins at me again, a full-on smile this time, and the way it lights up his face makes me feel a little lighter.

I offer him a smile, too, and I take a step back. “It was nice meeting you. I don’t want to make you late or anything.”

“Meet me here at the same time tomorrow. We can walk to school together.”

I agree, and we go our separate ways.

Turns out, Fort Upton’s town center takes less than fifteen minutes to explore. There’s a diner, a dry-cleaner, a drugstore, a couple of real-estate offices, a little gift shop, a town hall, and a town library. That’s it. Feeling disappointed and more than a little claustrophobic, not only is this town landlocked—it’s miniscule, I turn around and head back the way I came.

I carry a paperback copy of Jayne Eyre in my backpack. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it. When I move to a new place, I open Jayne Eyre and get lost in the story that’s so familiar it feels more like home than any actual home ever has. With an empty day in front of me, and thoughts that I want to keep at bay, the desire to lose myself in its well-worn pages is gnawing at me.

The house is quiet and empty when I return. After a few chapters, I fall back to sleep on the couch. To my surprise, I sleep nearly the entire day away, not stirring until late in the afternoon when Chloe returns with Penelope. It’s a shock, waking up here, glancing around, and being hit by the realization of my situation all over again. I ignore the way my stomach rolls as I take a deep breath and focus on Penelope running in circles through the house with a toy airplane. I sit up and try to ignore the nerves I feel at being here in my brother’s house. I want to do what I’ve done in all my foster homes, stay quiet, keep to myself, and go about my business. But this isn’t a foster home. This is my brother’s home, and I feel like I have more of an obligation here. He’s putting himself out by taking me in. He’s opened his home to me. I should at least pretend to make some kind of an effort. It seems like I owe him and his family that much.

Soon after I wake, Kyle pulls up with a mattress and box spring tied to the top of a truck. He and a couple of his friends carry it into the basement, and the rest of the afternoon is spent organizing my new room.

The basement is a large open rectangular space with low ceilings, plain white walls, and a beige carpet. Penelope’s toys are piled onto shelves on one side of the long room and my bed, along with a dresser and nightstand, are on the other side. There is a half bathroom down here, too. It’s actually one of the nicer bedrooms I’ve had, and I decide to tell Chloe this. Once I do, her eyes light up, and Kyle smiles approvingly at me.

For my first official dinner with the Dean family, Chloe makes meatloaf, and we all sit around the kitchen table. Penelope sits in a booster seat and babbles throughout the meal about Dora the Explorer and the red dress Chloe bought for her after school today. Family dinners are not something I have much experience with. When I glance up, I see Kyle looking at me. He grins before turning back to his daughter and telling her to finish her milk, which she obediently does. I feel like a tourist as I eat quietly and observe them. Their easy interactions cause a dull ache to form inside my chest. I realize that it hurts to watch them, to see their happy family unit. I thought happy families were a myth. If they weren’t real, I didn’t have to mourn the fact that I never had one. But this one is real, a little too real. I direct my eyes down at my plate and finish my meal quickly so I can be excused. My hasty decision to make an effort getting to know Kyle and his family is going to be more challenging than I expected.

Chapter 4

Chloe wants to drive me to school. She’s torn between being happy that I already have a friend to walk with and disappointed that she can’t take me herself.

“You look really nice for your first day,” she says encouragingly.

“Thanks,” I say.  My first day uniform is my favorite pair of worn low-rise jeans with my clunky brown shoes and a short-sleeved navy sweater that’s not too tight or too loose. I know my legs look miles long in these jeans, and this outfit is perfect for intimidating the girls who might already be gunning for me without being too revealing or slutty in a way that could promote unwelcome attention.

I’m afraid my outfit falls short when Myles walks out of his house and whistles. “You’re gonna knock them dead today, California girl. You definitely do not look like the girls from around here.”

I glance down at my outfit. “The plan was not to call too much attention to myself. Maybe I should go change?”

He winds his arm through mine. “Don’t bother. Unless you’re planning to put a paper bag over yourself, it won’t matter. Besides, I’m going to enjoy being the most envied guy in school.”

“You’re really full of shit, Myles.” I laugh as I reclaim my arm and fall into step beside him.

“I am the most sincere person you will ever meet. By the way, we’re picking up my girlfriend at the next corner.”

I stop walking. “Your what?”

He shrugs. “All superheroes need an alter ego.”

I burst out laughing. “And does your girlfriend realize she’s the Lois Lane to your straight Clark Kent?”

He has the decency to look embarrassed. “It’s all good. She’s a nice girl. She took a vow of chastity at her church.”

“Uh-huh,” I mutter, continuing to walk.

He catches right up. “Listen, she doesn’t know…”

“Don’t worry. I told you I wouldn’t say anything and I won’t. It’s none of my business.”

As we approach the corner, a peppy redhead bounds down the steps of a large brick house. “Hey, Myles,” she calls. I notice that her nose is dotted with freckles. The energetic way she moves screams I’m a cheerleader. She stops short when she sees me.

“April, this is Raielle. She just moved in next door to me. I told her we’d introduce her around.”

April’s smile falters when Myles says my name. She looks at him. “You mean she’s the one whose mother was…”

“April.” Myles halts her with a look before she can finish her sentence.

Her face heats. “Sorry,” she mumbles at him before turning to me. “Um, it’s nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” I reply, wondering what she knows about my mother and how many other people know it, too.

April makes a quick recovery and spends the rest of the walk chattering about how great the school is; how friendly everyone is, and how much fun being a cheerleader is. Yes, I guessed right. I do my best to tune her out before my ears start to bleed. Beside me, it looks as though Myles’s eyes have glazed over.

When we arrive at the sprawling glass and concrete high school, Myles points out the main office, and he offers to accompany me while I retrieve my schedule. I wave him off, and thankfully, he doesn’t argue as I continue inside on my own. The office is quiet when I approach an older lady with grey bobbed hair sitting at the desk closest to the door.

“I’m starting here today. I came to pick up my schedule.”

She glances up at me with a friendly smile. “What’s your name?”

“Raielle Blackwood.”

She nods and turns to her computer. “Gwen!” she calls across the office.

A willowy girl stands and approaches us. “Raielle is a new student starting today. Could you show her to her first class?” The woman hands me my schedule and smiles. Just then, the school bell rings in the hallway. She reaches down for another piece of paper and gives that to me, too. “Tardy pass,” she explains.

I glance down at the paper in my hand and see that advanced placement history is my first class followed by advanced calculus and advanced placement English. I’m relieved that the classes I had at my last school seem to be covered here.

“Let me see it.” Gwen extends her hand to me. Now that she’s beside me, I see that her nose is pierced and both her ears are surrounded in piercings. Her blunt nails are polished black to match her wardrobe and her hair. Either she’s the token Goth (every school has one) or she’s part of a larger Goth movement here.

“This way,” she says handing me back my schedule and leading the way out. “The school is just a big rectangle of hallways stacked over four floors,” she explains in a flat, bored voice. The halls are quiet and her words echo softly. “If the classroom number starts with a one, it’s on the first floor. If it starts with a four, it’s on the…” she pauses and eyes me expectantly.

“Fourth floor,” I reply dryly.

She stops in front of a closed door. “This is you. I’ll see you later. I’m in your chemistry class.” Then she walks back the way we came.

I pause in the hallway, take a deep breath, hitch my bag up higher on my shoulder, and then pull open the door. The teacher stops talking and looks at me along with the rest of the full classroom. I ignore the students and keep my eyes trained on the overweight, middle-aged man who is already reaching for the note I have in my hand. As I move, my shoes click loudly in the silence. He takes my pass and tosses it on his desk.

“Take any empty seat,” he says.

I turn and feel curious eyes on me as I zero in on one of the vacant desks in the back. A low whistle sounds as I pass by the first row, followed by the word hot not so subtly coughed out on the other side of the room. This results in several giggles. I ignore my second whistle of the day, keep my head high, and move slowly toward the empty desk. Dropping my backpack on the floor, I slide into the seat and give my attention to the teacher.

“Okay, everyone,” he says, “let’s continue.” He begins discussing what I recognize as the Cuban Missile Crisis. I feel heads occasionally turning my way, but I ignore them as I open my notebook and start writing.

When class is over, I shove my books in my bag and glance at my schedule to see that calculus is on the fourth floor. When I glance up, there’s a burly guy standing in the aisle blocking my way.

“Hey, new girl.” He grins at me. “Do you need help finding your next class?”

I’m about to tell him no thanks, but the truth is that I could use some directions. “I know it’s on the fourth floor. I just need to find the stairs,” I reply.

“Then I’m at your service.” He extends an arm, allowing me to precede him down the aisle to the doorway. Once I move around him, I see a few guys congregated at the exit who have obviously been watching our exchange. They keep their eyes on me as I approach.

“I’m Tucker,” he says once he’s beside me, “and these asshats need to move out of the way if we want to get you to your next class.”

“Introduce us,” one of them says.

“I haven’t gotten her name yet.” He eyes me expectantly.

“Raielle,” I say, starting to feel sorry that I asked him for help.

“That’s an unusual name,” another guy says. This one is short and kind of doughy looking.

Tucker starts to push through them. “Cool your jets. We don’t want to make Raielle late.”

I smile hesitantly at them and follow him out into the hall.

“The first stairwell is down here.” He points as he’s walking. “What class do you have?”

I glance at my schedule to be sure. “AP calculus.”

He nods. “That’s at the end of the hall on the far corner. I can walk you.”

To my surprise, he grabs my elbow. Instinctively, I pull it away. “I can find it. Thanks.”

He’s taken aback and maybe a little offended, but he quickly recovers. “Yeah. No problem. Just trying to help.”

I attempt to look friendly, trying to offset the awkwardness. “It’s okay. I’ve got it from here.” Then I quickly ascend the stairs, dodging the flow of descending students.

I find my next few classes easily and manage to survive my morning without incident. A few other male students introduce themselves to me and one creepy one just leers at me throughout English. Unless they try to talk to me, I don’t really notice the other people in my classes.

The back of my schedule has a locker number on it with a combination. Before lunch, I make my way to it. As I’m tossing the textbooks I’ve collected inside, a shoulder leans against the locker beside me.

“How’s your first day going, California girl?” Myles asks.

I smile, happy to see a familiar face. “Like a first day.” I shrug.

“Do you have lunch this period?”

“Yeah. But I was hoping to head to the library to get some studying done. Do they let you do that here?”

His eyebrows arch up. “I suppose if someone actually wanted to spend lunchtime in the library, they could.” He watches me as I close my backpack and hoist it up. “How about a little socializing? You know, sitting with me and my friends, maybe making some of your own?”

I briefly wonder if one of his friends is going to be the tall, dark silhouette from the other night. But it doesn’t matter. I have issues that are more pressing. I shake my head. “Another time.”

“Are you telling me that you already have so much work you have to skip lunch?”

I sigh. “It looks that way.” The calculus class here is much more advanced than the class I was taking at home. I need to catch up quickly before I fall even further behind. Besides, I don’t have a lunch to eat. Back home, we were on assistance. As embarrassing as it was, the state of California provided a hot lunch to me at school every day. But today, I don’t have a lunch, and I don’t have any money for one.

Myles narrows his eyes. “Another time, then. I’m going to hold you to that, Raielle.”

Lunch in the library is quiet, and I get enough done that the calculus panic abates. During the next period, I see Gwen in my chemistry class. She doesn’t say hello, but lifts her chin in my direction when she spots me.  My last two classes of the day are Latin and art. I breeze through Latin having already taken three years of it, and I use art class to zone out and rest my fried brain.

The school is beginning to clear out, and I’m collecting my books at my locker at the end of the day, when I hear a high-pitched “Excuse me.”

I turn to find a petite stranger scowling at me. Thick blonde bangs frame her face, accentuating her pointy chin, the only facial feature that isn’t obscured by her mane of hair.

“You need to stay away from my boyfriend,” she informs me with a hand on her hip.

My eyes inadvertently dip down to the barely covered cleavage she’s puffing out in my direction. I can feel the few remaining students in the hallway turn to watch us. “No problem,” I reply evenly. Then I begin piling more books into my bag.

“I’m serious,” she bites out.

I exhale loudly and reluctantly give her my attention. “Who is your boyfriend?”

She blinks her disbelief at me. “Tucker Matthews.”

Tucker, of course. “Like I said, no problem.” I start to turn around again when she grabs my arm to halt me.

Then she gets in my face. “Keep away from him. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah. I think I’ve cracked your code.” I pull my arm from her grip.

“That’s enough, Hailey.”

We both turn in the direction of the deep, unfamiliar voice. I know immediately, it’s him. I recognize the wavy hair, the broad shoulders, and his confident stance. But now I can see his dark blue eyes, and they’re shooting darts at the blonde named Hailey.

“But she’s after Tucker,” Hailey argues.

He angles his head at her. “I seriously doubt that.”

She huffs with frustration. “Everyone saw her flirting with him.”

My eyes widen at this. His glances at me, then turns back to Hailey. “Everyone saw Tucker walking her to the stairs, and then they saw her blowing him off. He’s the one you should be worried about. Not her.”

Hailey’s mouth falls open and I think mine does, too. I wonder how he knows this because he hasn’t been on my radar at all today.

“Were you there, Lucas?” she asks in a small voice.

He nods.

Hailey visibly deflates but she doesn’t apologize. She turns to glare at me one last time. “Tucker is off limits. Don’t forget it,” she warns, before pivoting and stalking away.

“I think you two deserve each other,” I mumble under my breath. Then my eyes return to Lucas who is standing silently, watching me with an unreadable expression. I take in his full lips and the firm set of his square jaw. His hair falls in shiny, chestnut brown waves lifting back from his forehead looking like he just ran his hand through it. He’s so handsome; it’s hard not to stare. He must have girls ogling him constantly, and that thought fills me with a strange disappointment. I felt a connection to him the other night and ever since then his dark image has been lurking in the back of my mind. But now that I see him up close, I realize that it couldn’t have been real. He is not the type of guy who goes for someone like me.  Even though he’s not happy with Hailey right now, she’s what guys like him want; popular, aggressive, self-assured, with all her assets on display. He probably goes through them like water.

I wonder if he’s going to introduce himself or say anything at all. To my shock, he doesn’t. He just walks away. I watch his progression down the hallway until he disappears around the corner. Weird.

The remaining students avert their eyes and continue gathering their things. I see Gwen among them. I shake off my uneasiness and head toward the stairs.

“That’s Lucas Diesel,” Gwen says, slamming her locker closed and falling into step beside me. “Hottest guy I’ve ever seen in real life.” She tics this off on her finger. “Every girl in school wants him.” She tics off another finger. “And he talked to you on your very first day.” She points a finger at me now.  “That’s a big deal.”

“Since you obviously heard the whole thing, you know that he didn’t say a word to me.”

She shrugs. “But he knows you exist, and he defended you. That’s noteworthy.”

“So, is he a complete snob or something?” I ask, still bristling at his wordless dismissal of me.

She pulls out a pack of gum and offers me a stick. I take it to be friendly and to keep her talking. Despite my better judgment, I’m curious about Lucas. “He’s not a snob,” she continues thoughtfully. “He’s just sort of intimidating and unapproachable. And he doesn’t have a girlfriend in case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t,” I reply quickly.

“Uh-huh,” she says, not believing me.

W

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Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

In the dead of night, Josie Bates is ripped from sleep by the sounds of an epic storm raging over Hermosa Beach and a man beating on her door begging her to help Billy Zuni who is drowning in the raging sea. She arrives at the shore just in time to see the teenager pulled from the water, battered and near death.

Ready to kill Billy’s selfish, neglectful mother, Josie rushes to the Zuni house only to find someone has beaten her to it. Two men lie dead downstairs and Billy’s mother clings to life on the floor above. Spurred on by Hannah’s fear that Billy will be framed for the murders, Josie takes up his defense. But Billy is evasive, physical evidence points to his guilt, and the county counsel wants him committed to the state.

With the clock ticking, Archer and Josie set out to find the mysterious man who can vouch for Billy’s whereabouts at the time of the murders. What they find instead is a web of intrigue and deceit that stretches half way around the world and an eyewitness who is blinded by a justice Josie cannot understand.

5-star praise from Amazon readers:

“Thank you, Rebecca Forster, for these wonderful, entertaining, spine-tingling legal thrillers!”

“…This was a great adventure wrapped up in suspense….a riveting series…I read a lot of Koontz, Patterson, Connelly, Coben.. they were starting to blend together…[Now] Rebecca Forster is my favorite author….”

an excerpt from

Eyewitness

by Rebecca Forster

CHAPTER 1

1966

Yilli had been left to guard the border, a chore he thought to be a useless exercise. No one wanted to come into his country, which meant he was guarding against his countrymen who wanted to get out. But even if those who were running away got by him (which more than likely they would), the government had mined the perimeter. It would take an act of God (if God were allowed to exist) guiding your feet to step lightly enough so that you didn’t blow yourself up. Yes, it would take quite a light step and a ridiculous will and he, Yilli, didn’t think there was anything outside his country that was any better than what was inside. So, he reasoned, there was no need for him to be sitting in the cold on this very night with a gun in his hand.

That was as far as Yilli’s thoughts went. He was a simple man: wanting for little, satisfied with what he had. Which was as it should be. All of these other things – politics and such – only served to make life complicated and very miserable. In his father’s age and his father’s before that, a man knew what was wrong and what was right because the Kunan said it was so. A man protected family above all else, not a border that no one could see.

Yilli shifted, thinking about his mother, his father’s time, but mostly about his comrades who believed they had tricked him. His mother had named him Yilli and that meant star. His comrades reasoned he was the best to watch through the night, shining his celestial light on any coward who tried to breach the border. Then they laughed and went off to have some raki, and talk some, and then fall asleep sure that they had fooled Yilli into thinking he was special.

Yilli smiled. Simple he may be, stupid he was not. Star, indeed. Shine bright. Hah! They knew he was a good boy, and he knew that they made fun with him. That was fine. His comrades were all good boys, too. None of them liked to be in the army or to carry arms against their countrymen, but that was the way of the world and they took their fun when they could.

Yilli picked up a stone and tossed it just to have something to do. He heard the click and clack as it hit rock, ricocheted off more stone, and rolled away. Rocks were everywhere: mountains grew from them, the ground was pocked with them, the houses were hewn from them. He threw another stone and then tired of doing that. His back ached with his rifle slung across it, so he slipped it off, leaned it against his leg, and sighed again. He sat down on a rock, spread his legs, and let the rifle rest upon his thigh.

He, Yilli, was twenty years old, married, and he would soon have a child. He should not be sitting on a rock, afraid to walk out to pee in case he should be blown to pieces. He should not be sitting in front of a bunker made of rock, throwing rocks at rocks. He had a herd of goats to tend in his village. Or at least he thought he still had a herd of goats. Sometimes the government took your things and gave them to others who needed them more. He didn’t need much, but no one needed his goats more than he did.

Yilli’s mind and body shifted once more.

He wished he had a letter from his wife. That would pass the time. But he was told not to worry. The state would see that he got his letters when he deserved to get them. But how could he not worry? He loved his young wife. She was slight and pretty, and he had heard things about childbirth. It could tear a woman up and she could bleed to death. Then who would take care of the child? If the child survived, of course. And, if the little thing did survive, milk was hard to come by. Not for the generals, but for him and his family it was. If he didn’t have his goats and his wife died, he would be screwed.

Yilli picked up another stone. He held it between his fingers, raised his arm, and flung it away. The sound of rock hitting rock echoed back at him. He reached for one more stone only to pause before he picked it up. Yilli raised his head and peered into the dark, looking toward the sound that had caught his attention.

Fear ran cold up his spine and froze his feet and made his fingers brittle. His big ears grew bigger. There was a scraping sound and then a cascade of displaced stones. Slowly, he sat up straighter and listened even harder. Someone or something had slipped. But how could that be? Everyone in these mountains took their first steps on stone and walked their journey to the grave on it. Yilli knew what every footfall sounded like and out there was someone stepping cautiously, nervously, hoping not to be found out. They were frightened. That was why they slipped.

Yilli raised his eyes heavenward just in case the government was wrong and there was a God. He thought to call out for his comrades, but that would only alert the enemy.  That person might cut him down before his cry was heard.  It was up to him, Yilli the goat herder, to protect his country and this border he could not see.

He rose, lifting his rifle as he did so. The gun was heavy in his hands. His breath was a white cloud in the freezing air. Above him the moon shined bright and still he could not see clearly. He narrowed his eyes, looking to see who or what was coming his way. He comforted himself with the thought that it might be a wandering goat, or a dog, or a sheep, but he knew that could not be right. The hour was too late and livestock would not be out. Also, animals were more sure-footed than humans. Yilli swallowed and his narrow chest shuddered with the beating of his heart.

“Who is there?” He called out, all the while wishing he were in bed with his pregnant wife, the fire still hot in the hearth, the goats bedded down for the night. “Who is there? Show yourself.”

He raised his rifle.  The butt rested against his shoulder. One hand was placed just as he had been shown so that his finger could squeeze the trigger and kill whoever dared approach. His other hand was on the smooth wood of the stock. He saw the world only through the rifle sight: a pinpoint of reality that showed him nothing.

The sound came again, this time from his right.  He swung his weapon. There was sweat on his brow and on his body that was covered by the coarse wool of his uniform. His fingers twitched, yet there was nothing but the mountain in the little circle through which he looked.

Sure he now heard the sound coming from the left, Yilli swung the rifle that way only to snap it right again because the sound was closer there. That was when he, Yilli, began to cry. Tears seeped from his eyes and rolled down his smooth cheeks, but he was afraid to lower the rifle to wipe them away. The tears stopped as quickly as they had begun because now he saw his enemy. It was only a shadow, but this was no goat or dog. This was the shadow of a man and he was coming toward Yilli.

“Ndalimi! Do not come closer. I will shoot.  Ndalimi!” Shamed that his voice trembled like a woman, he stepped back and took a deep breath.

“Ndalimi!” Yilli shouted his order again, but the man didn’t stop. He didn’t even hesitate. It appeared he either had not heard Yilli, or was not afraid of him or, was simply desperate to be away.

Yilli lowered the muzzle of the rifle and raised his head to see more clearly. He blinked, thinking he only knew one person so big. But it could not be Konstadin coming up the mountain, moving from boulder to boulder, sneaking from behind the rock.  Still, it was someone as big as Konstadin.  Yilli snapped the rifle back to firing position. If it had been Konstadin, the man would have called out to him in greeting or to let him know that he had news from home. But if it were Konstadin bringing news of Yilli’s wife, how did he know to come to this place? He had told no one of his orders.  Yillli became more afraid now that there were all these questions. He had also become more determined because he, Yilli, was not just a good boy, he was a man in the service of his country.

“Ndalimi!”  Yilli barked, surprising himself, sounding as if he should be obeyed. His grip on his rifle was so tight his arms and fingers ached.

“Yilli.”

He heard the hoarse whisper that was filled with both hope and threat, but all Yilli heard was an enemy’s voice. He saw now that there were two of them. Perhaps there were more men coming, rebels ready to kill him in order to take over the government. These men could be desperate farmers wanting Yilli’s rifle so that they could protect their families. One of them might hit him or stab him and the other would take the rifle. They might shoot him with his own gun.

Tears streamed down Yilli’s face now. His entire body shook, not with cold but with a vision of himself bleeding to death without ever seeing his wife, or his child, or his goats.

With that thought two things happened: the giant shadow loomed up from behind a boulder and the rifle in Yilli’s hands exploded. His ears rang with the crack of the retort; the flash from the muzzle seared his eyes. Near deaf as he was the scream he heard was undeniable.

From the right a smaller man ran toward the little clearing and threw himself to the ground. He landed on his knees just as the moon moved and brightened the mountain. Yilli, who had been blinded, now saw clearly.  It was not a man at all who had run fast and sure over the rocks but a boy. It was Gjergy. It was Gjergy who cried out to the man lying on the ground. The boy pulled at him and wailed and held his arms to the sky. Yilli could see the bottoms of the other man’s boots and the length of his legs. He saw that man was not moving.

As if in a dream, Yilli moved forward until he was standing beside them, the smoking rifle still in his hand. It was Konstadin, Gjergy’s brother, man of Yilli’s clan, lying on the ground, his arms thrown out, and his eyes wide open as if in surprise. His shirt was dark with the blood that poured out of his broad chest.  Then Yilli realized that this was not Kostandin at all, it was only his body. Eighteen years of age and he was dead by Yilli’s hand.

“What have I done?”

He had no idea if he screamed or spoke softly. It didn’t matter.  What was there to say? That he was a reluctant soldier? That he didn’t know how this had happened? That he was sorry to have taken a precious life? How could he make Gjergy, this boy of no more than twelve years, understand what he, Yilli, did not?

The rifle almost fell from Yilli’s hands. His heart slammed against his chest as if trying to tear itself from his body and throw itself into the hole in Konstandin’s. He, Yilli, wanted to make Konstandin live again, but the cold froze his legs, his arms, his very soul. His breath came short and iced in front of his eyes.  His head spun. He blinked, suddenly aware that Gjergy was rising, unfolding his wiry young body.  Yilli thought for a minute to comfort the boy, explain to him that this had been a tragic mistake, but Gjergy was enraged like an animal.

“Blood for blood,” he screamed and lunged for Yilli.

Unencumbered by Gjergy’s grief, Yilli moved just quickly enough to save himself.  Gjergy missed his mark when he sprung forward and did not hit Yilli straight on. Still, Yilli fell back onto the ground with the breath knocked out of him. Instinctively he raised the rifle, grasping it in both hands, and holding it across his body to ward off the attack.

“Gjergy! It is me!” Yilli cried, but the boy was mindless with rage and would not listen.

“You murdered my brother.” Gjergy yanked on the rifle, but Yilli was a man eight years older. He was strong and fear made him stronger still.

“No! No! It was an accident,” Yilli cried.

Just as he did so, a bullet whizzed past them.  Then another. And another. Yilli rolled away fearing his comrades would kill him and praying they did not kill Gjergy. He could not imagine bringing more sadness on the mother of those two good boys.

Gjergy bolted upright, scrambling off Yilli, running away faster than Yilli thought possible. He ran like the child he was, disappearing into the night, leaving only his words behind.

Blood for blood.

Gjergy had not listened that Yilli was only a soldier and that this was not killing in the way the Kunan meant. He had no time to remind the boy that the old ways were outlawed, and that he must forget that he had ever said such a thing. If he did not, there would be more trouble.

Suddenly, hands were on Yilli. His comrades had come running at the sound of the shot. Two of them ran after Gjergy even though they all knew they would not find him.

“Stop. He is gone.”  Yilli called this as those who remained pulled him to his feet.

“Who was it?” one of them asked.

“No one. A stranger,” Yilli answered.

“This is Konstadin,” another soldier called out.

“The one with him was a stranger.”  Yilli repeated this, unwilling to be responsible for a boy suffering the awful punishment that would be imposed should he be found out.

Then no one spoke as they stood looking at the body. All of them knew what this meant. It was Skender, captain of them all, who put his hand on Yilli’s shoulder. It was Skender who said:

“It is a modern time. Do not worry, Yilli.”

Yilli nodded. Of course, he did not believe what Skender told him any more than young Gjergy had believed him when Yilli tried to say that the killing had been an accident.

Though his comrades urged him to come to camp to rest, though all of them offered to take his watch now that this thing had happened, Yilli went back to sit on the rock where only a few minutes ago he had been thinking about his wife and his child. He put his rifle on the ground and his head in his hands.

He was a dead man.

2013

Josie slept alone the night the storm came up from Baja and crashed hard over Hermosa Beach. It was as if Neptune had surfaced, blown out his mighty breath, and wreaked godly havoc on Southern California with an all out assault of thunder, lightning, and hellacious wind. Yet, because she was curled under her duvet, because her bedroom was at the back of the house, it was no surprise that Josie wasn’t the one to hear the frantic knocking on the door and the screaming that came with it.

 It was Hannah who woke with a start. It was Hannah who was terrified by the darkness, the howling wind, the driving rain, and the racket made by a man pounding on the door as if he would break it down.  It was Hannah who tumbled out of bed and ran for Josie, staying low in the shadows for fear that whoever was outside might see her through the bare picture window.

Hannah called out as she ran, but her shriek was braided into the sizzle of lightning and then flattened by a clap of thunder so loud it rattled the house. She threw herself into the hall. On all fours, she crawled forward, clutched the doorjamb, pulled herself into the bedroom, and felt her way in the dark until she touched Josie.

Once. . .

Twice.. . .

Five. . .

“Josie! Josie!”

Hannah kept her voice low. If she raised it she would get more than Josie’s attention; she might get the attention of the man outside.

“What? Hannah. . .Don’t. . .”

Ten. . .

Twelve. . .

Josie swiped at the girl’s hand, annoyed in her half sleep. That changed when the wind blew one of the patio chairs into the side of the house. Josie clutched the girl’s hand, rolled over, and put the other one on Hannah’s shoulder.

“Sorry. Sorry. It’s okay. Go back – ”

“Josie, no. Get up. Someone’s out there.”

Hannah pulled hard. Clutch and pull and tap and shake and whisper. Hannah would have crawled in bed with Josie had she not sat up, reached over, and hit the light on the travel clock she preferred to the effervescent glow of a digital. Midnight. No one in their right mind would be out at a time like this, on a night like this. Josie released Hannah’s hand and ran one of her own through her short hair.

“Hannah, you were dreaming,” Josie mumbled.

Just then the small house shuddered, reverberating as it put its architectural shoulder into the huge wind that angled the drive of the rain. Beneath that, rolling in and out was something else that finally made Josie tense. Hannah pitched forward at the same time, throwing her arm over Josie’s legs as her head snapped left. She looked toward the hall. Her hair flew over her face when she whipped back to look at Josie again. Her bright green eyes were splintered with fear; Josie’s dark blue ones were flat with caution.

Josie put her hand on Hannah’s shoulder and moved her away.  She kicked off the covers and swung her long legs over the side of the bed as Hannah fell back onto her heels. Josie put her finger to her lips and nodded. She heard it now: the hammering and the unintelligible screams.  Josie snatched up her cell and handed it to Hannah.

“Three minutes, then call 911.”

Hannah nodded, her head bobbing with the time of her internal metronome. Josie pulled on the sweat pants she always kept at the end of the bed. She went for the drawer where she kept her father’s gun, thought twice, and left the weapon where it was. This was no night for criminals. Even if it were, they wouldn’t announce themselves.

Josie started for the living room just as lightning scratched out a pattern in the sky and sent shards of light slicing through the window and across the hardwood of the floors.  The tumble of thunder was predictable. Josie cringed as she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Hannah had followed her into the hall. Josie put her hand out and pushed hard at the air.

Enough. Stop.

Hannah fell back. Another lightning flash lit up her beautiful flawed body: the tattoos on the girl’s shoulder, the scar running up her thigh where Fritz Rayburn had dripped hot wax on her just for the fun of it, the mottled skin on her hand where she had been burned trying to save her paintings. Coupled with the fear on her face, Hannah looked as if some cosmic artist had outlined her into the canvas of Josie’s house. The man pummeled harder. Josie turned toward the sound just as his words were scooped up and tossed away before they could be understood. Behind Josie, Hannah moved. This time Josie commanded:

“Stay there, damn it!”

   Instead, Hannah darted into the living room, defiant, unwilling to leave Josie alone if there were any possibility of danger.  She would take Josie’s back the way she had in the mountains, the way she always would. But Josie had no patience for good intentions. She twirled, put her hands on the girl’s shoulder, and pushed her away.

    “Hannah, I’m not kidding,” she growled.

    Hannah’s eyes narrowed, her nostrils flared, but she fell back a step to satisfy her guardian.  In measured strides, Josie crossed the living room and took the two stairs that led to the entry. She threw the porch light switch. Nothing. Another stutter of lightning gave Josie time to see Max curled up on his blanket, asleep and oblivious. Age had its blessings.

   Above her, the tarp covering the place where she was installing the skylight snapped and whipped.

Behind her, Hannah paced and touched.

In front of her the man at the door continued to pound, but now Josie was close enough to understand that she was hearing cries for help. She threw the deadbolt and flung the door open.  A man tumbled into her house along with the slanting rain. He was soaked to the skin, terrified to the soul, and high as a kite.

“Billy, man. . .gotta come. . .” He blabbered. He sputtered. He spit. He dripped. “Billy needs you . . .bad.” He coughed. He snorted. He hacked.  “At the pier. . .come. . .”

His eyes rolled, hooded, and then closed briefly.  Struggling to his feet, he started to go inside but slipped on the wet floor.  When he tried it again, Josie pushed him back.

“You can show me. Wait. Out there.” Josie gave him one final shove, slammed the door shut, and dashed past Hannah who was running toward her room at the front of the house.

In her bedroom, Josie pulled on her running shoes and snatched up a flashlight. She was headed out again just as Hannah flew out of her bedroom, barely dressed, and struggling into a slicker. Josie raised her voice even though she and Hannah were facing each other in the entry.

 “Stay put. Call Archer.”

   Josie elbowed past, but Hannah’s terror was transferred to her like pollen.  She turned to see that this was about more than the weather or even the man outside.  Left alone. Abandoned. Someone else more important.  Hannah was right about two out of three. Tonight, whatever was happening to Billy was more important than Hannah’s fear of abandonment. Leaving her alone wasn’t something Josie wanted, it was something she had to do.

    Grabbing Hannah’s shoulders, Josie peered through the dark at those green eyes and mink colored skin. She pushed back the mass of long, black, curling, kinking, luxurious hair. Josie let her hands slide down Hannah’s arms, bumping along the spider web of hair thin scars that crisscrossed her forearms, grasped her wrists, and held up her hands. She looked at the phone.

   “Tell Archer to get to the pier. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

    Josie pulled Hannah close and kissed the top of her head before ripping the door open again. The wind and rain rushed in, but the man was gone, running off to find a warm dry place. It occurred to her that he might have been hallucinating, imagining something had happened to Billy Zuni.  In the next second Josie shut the door behind her. If there was any chance Billy needed her she had to go.

Tall and fast, she raced under the flash bang of the lightning and the base beat of thunder. She didn’t try to dodge the puddles because water was everywhere: pouring down on her head, stinging her face, weighing down her sweat pants, slogging in her running shoes.  Her long t-shirt clung to her ripped body. She squinted against the rain, holding one hand to her brow to keep the water from her eyes. She steadied the broad beam of the huge flashlight in front of her on The Strand before veering off the pavement and onto the sand. Josie stumbled, tripped, and fell. The wet sand was like concrete and her knees jarred with the impact. She shouted out a curse though there was no one to hear.  Then it didn’t matter that she was alone on the beach in one mother of a storm. The scream she let out cut through the sound and the fury. Her heart stopped. She froze for an instant, and then she scrambled to her feet.

Josie sidestepped parallel to the pounding surf, trying to hold the beam of light on a spot near the pier pilings.  Frantically she wiped the rain away from her eyes hoping she was mistaken and that what she thought she was seeing was an illusion. It wasn’t. Under the yellow halo of light emanating from the massive fixtures on the pier Billy Zuni was caught in the raging, black ocean.

“Billy! Billy!”

Instinctively Josie went toward the water, unsure of what she was going to do once she got there.  The waves were ugly. Riotous.  Challenge them and they would swallow you up. If you were lucky, they might spit you out again.  If you weren’t. . .

She didn’t want to think about that.

Knowing it was going to be tricky to get past them, Josie danced back and forth on the shore, taking her eyes off Billy for seconds at a time, searching for an opening in the surf as the waves rose and fell in a furious trilogy.

Bam! Bam! Bam!

Josie looked back toward the pier. She couldn’t see Billy.

Bam! Bam! Bam!

She looked again and saw him. A swell broadsided him, throwing him out of the water like a rag doll.

“Oh God!”

Kicking off her shoes, peeling off her sweat pants, Josie buried the butt of the flashlight at an angle in the sand. She gauged the swell of the next wave.

Bam.

And the one after that.

Bam.

And after that.

Bam. Bam.

Just when she thought it was futile, Josie saw an opening.  Half naked, she ran into the water. A wave crashed into her shins, spume erupting into a cloud of stinging froth that covered her to her chest and knocked her off balance. Before she could right herself the water pulled her feet out from under her. Josie fell hard on her butt. Twisting and turning, she fought against the suction of the backwash, dug her heels into the sand bed, righted herself, and put her open-palmed hands out like paddles to cut the pull of the surf.

The next wave smashed into her belly like a brick, but she was still standing.  Before she lost her nerve, knowing she had no choice, Josie leaned forward, arms outstretched, and started to push off. She would have to slice through the surf and get deep, and stay submerged long enough to let the second wave roll over her. Surface too soon and she would be washed back to shore; too late and she was as good as dead. Muscles tensing, Josie was already in her arch when a strong hand grabbed her arm.

“No. No. Don’t!”

Archer dragged her back to the shore, both of them buffeted by the waves, stumbling and clinging to one another just to stay ahead of the water.

“Billy’s out there! Look!”

Josie whipped her head between the man who had hold of her and the boy she could no longer see. Her protests were lost in the howl of a new wind. Archer wasted no time on words she would never hear. Instead, he dug his fingers into her arms, shook her, and turned her away from the ocean.

Help was not only coming, it had arrived.  Josie fell against Archer and watched the rescue vehicle bump over the sand, its red, rotating light looking eerie in the blackness. The night guard braked and simultaneously threw open the door of the truck. He left the headlights trained on the water. In the beam, the guard ran straight for the ocean, playing out the rope attached to the neon-orange can slung across his shoulder. Tossing it into the sea, it went over the waves and pulled him with it.

Josie broke away from Archer. She pulled her arms into her body, raised her hands and cupped them over her brow to keep the rain out of her eyes.  Archer picked up the flashlight and her sweat pants. The pants were ruined.  He tossed them aside and watched with her as the lifeguard fought to reach the boy.

Billy seemed velcroed to the pilings by the force of the water only to be torn away moments later and tossed around by an ocean that had no regard for an oh-so-breakable body.  Josie cut her eyes toward the last place she had seen the lifeguard. She caught sight of him just as he went under. A second later he popped back up again. The bright orange rescue can marked his pitiful progress. Josie sidestepped, hoping to get a better view. Archer’s free hand went around her shoulder to hold her steady and hold her back.  She shook him off. She wouldn’t do anything stupid. Archer knew she wouldn’t. He was worried she would do something insane.

Suddenly the guard was thrown up high as he rode a gigantic swell. It was exactly that moment when fate intervened. A competing swell sent Billy within reach.  Josie let out a yelp of relief only to swear when the man and the boy disappeared from view.

“Christ,” Archer bellowed.

He held the flashlight above his head, but when Josie dashed into the surf again Archer tossed it aside and went with her. The water swirled around their feet as they craned their necks to see through the nickelodeon frames of lightning.

“There! There!”

Josie threw out her arm, pointing with her whole hand. The boy was struggling. For a minute Josie thought he was fighting to get to the guard, then she realized Billy was fighting to get away from him.  She screamed more at Billy than Archer.

“What are you doing?”

Billy and the guard went under. When they surfaced the boy had given up. It seemed an eternity until they were close enough for Josie and Archer to help, but the guard was finally there, dragging a battered and bruised Billy Zuni to the shore.

Josie crumpled to the sand under Billy’s dead weight. Cradling the teenager’s head in her lap, she watched while the guard did a quick check of his vitals before running to call for an ambulance. Under the light Archer held, Billy’s skin was blue-tinged and bloated. Suddenly his body spasmed; he coughed and wretched.  Water poured out of his mouth along with whatever had been in his stomach. Josie held tight knowing all too well the pain he was in.

“It’s okay. You’re safe now,” she said.

 Billy’s arms encircled her waist. He pushed his head into her belly. As the rain poured down on the world, and lightning crackled over their heads, Billy Zuni clutched Josie Bates tighter and cried:

  “Mom.”

   Stunned, Josie looked up just as lightning illuminated the beach. She saw Archer’s grim face and then she saw Hannah standing in the distance. Unable to remain alone in the house or stand by while Billy was in danger, Hannah had followed Josie.  But the girl’s eyes weren’t on Billy Zuni, and she had not heard him cry for his mother. Hannah was looking toward The Strand, peering into the dark, not seeing anything really, but only feeling that there were eyes upon them all.

… Continued…

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A bereaved foster daughter…
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A murder mystery that keeps you guessing….

“…Not only is the mystery aspect of this story well-written, the romance is equally interesting. If all this isn’t enough to make you want to buy this read, Burke and the publisher are donating proceeds to the American Breast Cancer Foundation. Brava!”
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Deadly Secrets

by Leeann Burke

21 Rave Reviews
Text-to-Speech: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

Philippe LaFrance is a well known reclusive writer whose life is suddenly thrown upside down. The grandfather he never knew existed dies. Throughout his own investigation, Philippe learns that his family has kept secrets from him, deep, ugly secrets. A killer is murdering the men in his family. First his father then his grandfather have succumbed at the hands of another. This murderer is trying his utmost to keep secrets buried.

Bereft, Roxanne St-Clair is left to manage a restaurant when the only person who ever mattered to her, her foster parent and mentor, is murdered. She puts her life on hold to find his killer and bring him to justice.

Thrown together by circumstance and a mutual goal, Philippe and Roxanne fight their attraction and team up to find the killer, bring him to justice and unearth the truth. To stay alive, they must keep one step ahead of the assassin in order to prevent him from killing his next target, Philippe. Will they succeed in bringing to justice this killer before Philippe becomes his next victim? Will they be able to deal with the truth behind all the secrets?

Praise for Deadly Secrets:

Intoxicating

“… Full of twists, loops, and unexpected turns, this book will appeal to anyone who enjoys the genres of mysteries and/or romantic suspense…”

Love it!!!
“…romance…interwoven with action and suspense. Reads quickly from page one to the end. Philippe and Roxanne are well-developed characters, with nice chemistry.”

an excerpt from

Deadly Secrets

by Leeann Burke

Chapter One

A cold September breeze whipped at the fallen leaves near where she stood in front of the mahogany coffin. Roxanne St-Clair’s curly long strands of hair were blown into her eyes. Unconsciously, she tucked them behind her ear as she glanced over at the lone man standing across the coffin from her. She turned her attention back to Father Joe, who was completing prayers for the final farewell of George Lafrance.

From his dark well-cut suit to his cold green eyes, this stranger, who resembled George, had to be the estranged grandson, Philippe Lafrance. The grandson no one knew existed until a few days ago.

Father Joe closed his bible and lowered his head in silent prayer. Roxanne took this moment to caress George’s mahogany coffin in her own final private farewell. She would forever be grateful and indebted to the compassionate man.

Ten years ago, he’d given her a chance at a better life when he took her in, becoming her last foster parent, her only family.

Father Joe straightened and cleared his throat. “Before we leave, I wish to take this opportunity, on behalf of George’s family, to invite everyone back to Rock Heaven, and toast George one last time.” He gave a curt nod to the stranger, then to Roxanne.

People nodded, mumbled and began to scatter. Roxanne accepted the odd condolence but from the corner of her eye she watched Philippe linger by his grandfather’s coffin. It looked as if he were saying his own farewell.

He raised his head, and their eyes connected for a fleeting moment. Was it sadness she saw in their depths? Quickly, he masked his angry jade eyes with aloofness. He acknowledged her with a curt nod, turned around and left without a backward glance.

Her best friend, Vanessa, leaned towards her. “You know Roxanne, in all the years I’ve known George, I never heard him mention a word about a grandson. He talked about losing his son to a heart attack and his wife to breast cancer, but not a word about a grandson. It’s kind of weird, don’t you think?”

Against her own better judgment, Roxanne wondered as well.

The grandson had inherited George’s build, from his broad shoulders and trim waist to chiseled face. The only difference was, George never made her heart flutter with a fleeting eye contact; his grandson did. She tore her gaze from Philippe’s retreating back and turned her attention back to Vanessa. “He must have had his reasons.”

As if reading Roxanne’s mind, Vanessa acknowledged her. “He does resemble George, don’t you think?”

“I bet that’s the only thing he has in common with George.” Roxanne couldn’t help but stare at Philippe crossing between the cemetery gates. He reached a blue Toyota, unlocked the driver’s door and slipped in.

A police cruiser crawled by, blocking her view of Philippe’s car. The police officers openly stared at the remaining mourners.

* * * *

In a secluded corner of the Rock Heaven restaurant, Philippe brooded. He struggled with the notion that so many people had expressed their sympathy for a man he never knew existed until his death. He checked the room, once again seeking the long dark brown curls and slim figure of Roxanne St-Clair.

He braced himself when he noticed her. She was heading his way her ankle-length black dress accentuating her slim waist.

She switched her cola to her other hand and extended her hand. “I’m Roxanne St-Clair.”

Despite noticing anger in her eyes, he shook her hand. He wondered how her soft hands would feel caressing the rest of his body. Philippe mentally shook himself. “Philippe Lafrance, but you already know that.” To his annoyance, silently she settled in the seat beside him and toyed with the straw in her drink.

Finally, she shrugged, “I didn’t know George had a grandson. Imagine my surprise when his lawyer told us the news a few days ago.”

Her comment hit a sore point. He averted his gaze. Past experience taught him raw emotions left a person vulnerable. It was the last thing he wanted this woman to pick up on, his vulnerability. Anger he could deal with, but sympathy infuriated him. He’d already spotted it on her face. If she knew how much he hurt…

Philippe drained the last of his beer. “That makes two of us.”

Her eyes widened in shock at the news, only to shrink into small slits. Sharp as a whip, she’d picked up on his sarcasm.

“I have a hard time believing that,” said Roxanne harshly.

“This will come as a surprise, but I really don’t care what you or anyone else believes.” He met her glare with one of his own. “So what was the bastard really like?”

He winced at her sudden sharp intake of breath and instantly regretted the slip. Her eyes darkened to a deep hazel. His words now lay between them like a heavy cloth ready to smother them both.

“Don’t you dare speak of George like that. You have no right to criticize him, especially on the day we buried him.”

A moment passed, gazes clashing. “What would you call a man who ignored his only grandson all his life?” he demanded, teeth clenched. “I would love to know why he never tried to contact me.”

Roxanne’s shoulders sagged. She sighed, “I don’t know. He must have had his reasons.”

“Well, we’ll never know now, will we?” He raised his empty glass. “To the man who made time for everyone but his only grandson.”

Before he knew it, she reached over and gently touched his forearm. He looked down at her blunt cut and clear fingernails lingering on his coat jacket, willing his body not to respond.

“I’ll leave you to your pity party.” Roxanne rose and walked away, shaking her head.

“Way to go, Philippe,” he muttered to himself, “you can be such an ass. You really know how to impress a lady.”

His mind quickly turned to the puzzle his grandfather had become. Could George be the wonderful man all these people were toasting? Why hadn’t he found room in his life and in his heart to give his only grandson some of the support and love he so generously dished out to others?

Philippe absently stared into his empty glass. It reflected how his heart felt, empty. He should find Roxanne and apologize for his inappropriate comment. She didn’t deserve getting the blunt of his anger.

His debate was cut short by a young woman slipping into Roxanne’s vacated seat. The voluptuous blonde had been talking with Roxanne when he’d left the cemetery grounds.

“Hi handsome!” She winked at him. “You must be the mystery grandson no one knew about until two days ago. I’m Vanessa Dixon.”

He shook her extended French manicured hand. “Philippe Lafrance,” he offered, scanning the room for Roxanne.

“If you’re looking for Roxanne you’re wasting your time.”

“What do you mean? Has she left?”

Vanessa shrugged her short curvy frame. “I’d say she’s probably out back, licking her wounds after your talk.”

“Licking her wounds?” His social skills were a little rusty, but he hadn’t been that harsh with her, had he?

“She mentioned that you’d been a bit harsh.”

He rose, intent on finding her, but Vanessa grabbed his arm, applying enough pressure to gain his full attention.

“I’d give her a little breathing room if I were you. She took George’s death pretty hard.”

“Why is it harder for her in particular?” Philippe dropped back into his seat. He wanted information, and Vanessa seemed willing to provide.

“She found him, dead, in this here kitchen.”

Philippe squeezed his eyes shut and mentally kicked himself.

“I take it by your reaction that you didn’t know.”

He shook his head.

“How come you never came to visit George?”

He had to give it to her, Vanessa didn’t beat around the bush. “Listen, we don’t know each other. Why would I confess to you?”

“I hear confessions are good for the soul.” She leaned back on the stool and smiled confidently. “Not that I’ve tried it lately.

Philippe squashed the urge to return her tantalizing smile. She was the type of woman who would interest him. No strings. However a particular brunette with plenty of strings and expectations captivated his attention right now. He might as well find out as much as he could about her. “How long have you known Roxanne?”

“Since she came to live with your grandfather.” Vanessa eyed him sideways. “Why?”

He ignored her question. “What kind of relationship did she have with my grandfather?”

Her eyes were an open book. He could see her internal debate on how much to reveal. Her glance traveled the room before landing back on him, giving him her full attention once more. “They were very close and good for each other.” She sighed. “If you talk to the regulars, you’d discover that when your grandmother died of breast cancer, a part of him died with her. His famous phrase being, she was his better half. Then his son, your father, died a few years later. Everyone feared the heartbreak would kill him.”

“Why is that?”

“George loved life. He lived it to the fullest, but after their deaths, he felt he no longer had a reason to live. He never came back to his former self, until he found Roxanne sleeping behind the restaurant’s dumpster. Raising her gave him a reason for living again. He, in return, gave her a chance at a better life, away from the streets.”

“What about Roxanne’s family? Where were they?”

“I don’t know,” Vanessa rose, “but if you want to know more, you’ll have to ask her yourself. You won’t get any brownie points with her by grilling her friends.”

Walking away, Vanessa threw her last words over her shoulder. “Roxanne will tell you, if and when she’s ready. Don’t push her.”

The voluptuous blond sashayed her way across the room. To his dismay, her sumptuous body left him cold. She exuded the kind of sexuality that always turned him on, but for once in his life, it didn’t entice him.

His interest lay fixated on another woman, Roxanne. He knew it the moment their gazes had clashed at the cemetery. He hated not having total control of himself and his surroundings but the feelings this slim woman evoked in him annoyed and scared him. He intended to be rid of it the moment he figured out how to do just that.

* * * *

Roxanne heaved a sigh of relief when the last mourner left the restaurant. However, she wasn’t completely alone. Throughout the entire evening, she’d felt Philippe’s gaze on her which provoked spine-tingling shivers each and every time he looked her way.

She leaned her back against the front door, exhausted. She needed to sleep for days on end but first, she had to deal with Philippe.

Philippe still occupied the same stool he had all evening long, at the far end of the bar. During the evening, he’d removed his jacket, dark green tie and undone the top two buttons of his white shirt. He looked handsome, in a roguish kind of way with his straight dark brown hair grazing his shirt collar, tapered waist and broad shoulders. This man spent time in the gym on a regular basis.

She lingered against the doorway, postponing the inevitable. Until he said, “I won’t bite,” and sipped from his beer mug.

“I’m not scared of you.” Her voice sounded weak even to her, but right now, she really didn’t care. She wanted to lock up, walk the few blocks to her apartment and cry herself to sleep. “I don’t want to argue with you.”

Philippe nodded in agreement. “One question before I leave. Can you explain why cops staked out the funeral?”

Roxanne sent him a ‘what-do-I-care’ look. No one else had mentioned their presence at the cemetery so she figured they hadn’t noticed them. It seemed Philippe didn’t miss anything. She forced her legs to move towards him. “They weren’t staking it out,” she said. “They were probably paying their respects. George donated a lot of money to their charities.”

Philippe shook his head. “I don’t think so. If they were paying their respects, they would have been standing among the mourners instead they remained in their car. Why is that?”

She remained silent.

He gave her a curt nod and changed the subject. “Look, about earlier, I was out of line.” At her raised eyebrow he added, “my comments about George were uncalled for.” He lifted his hand to hold off her interruption. “I shouldn’t have said anything to you, especially today of all days.” He looked away. “He was someone important to you, and I’m sorry if my comments hurt you in any way.”

“Apology accepted.”

He swiveled in her direction and raised a glance to her. “Do you always accept apologies from rude men so quickly or am I in luck?”

Chapter Two

Loud raps on the front door saved him from her sarcastic response. Roxanne turned around and opened the door, assuming a patron had returned for a forgotten item. Instead, two officers filled the doorway.

In light of Philippe’s earlier question, she was taken aback by their presence. It didn’t bode well. By the business look on their faces, they weren’t here to pay their respects. She hesitated for a moment. “Please, come in officers.”

They marched in, surveying the room quickly.

“What can I do for you officers?” she asked them.

The older officer turned to her. “Are you Roxanne St-Clair?”

“I am.” Confused and a bit worried, her gaze went from one officer to the other. “Is there anything wrong?”

The younger officer ignored Roxanne’s question, having spotted Philippe. “Would you happen to be a relative of George Lafrance?” he asked Philippe.

“That depends who’s asking,” Philippe answered with suspicion. He rose and negotiated his way across the room to stand next to Roxanne.

She rolled her eyes. Now wasn’t the time to be cryptic and evasive. “Yes, he’s George’s grandson, Philippe Lafrance. Now that we’ve cleared that up, what can we do for you?”

“I’m Officer Sanders, my partner is Officer Johnson,” the younger man provided. “How well did either of you know George Lafrance?”

“I didn’t know him at all,” Philippe answered. “I just found out about him from his lawyer a few days ago.”

Something wasn’t right. What weren’t they telling them? Roxanne looked at both officers, “I’ve known him for the last nine years. What’s this about?” She bit the inside of her right cheek in anxiety while she waited for their answer, but none was forthcoming.

“Did you know George Lafrance had food allergies?” Sanders asked.

Roxanne nodded without hesitation. “He had many allergies. Why do you ask?”

“Did you know he had a deadly allergy to nuts?” Sanders prodded.

Obviously, the police officers were gauging her reactions.

“Yes! Everyone knew he did. Why do you…” Startled by what the officer’s question implied, her heart skipped a beat. She startled when Philippe laid a heavy hand on her right shoulder. Part of her wanted to lean into him for support, but straightened away from him. For her own sanity, she put some distance between them. “The hospital told me he died from a massive heart attack. Were they wrong?”

“What the hell is going on here?” Philippe demanded. “What aren’t you telling us?”

“Your grandfather did die from a heart attack, Mr. Lafrance.” Johnson raised his hand to stop Philippe’s obvious objections. “We have a few more questions that need to be answered.”

Roxanne’s desire for some much needed sleep plummeted. “Why don’t you speak with the officers who responded to the call the night he died?”

“We did, but they can’t provide the answers we need.” Johnson eyed the empty baskets on the bar. “Are there any nuts in the restaurant?”

Roxanne vehemently shook her head. “Rock Heaven is a nut free environment. We serve our patrons corn chips with salsa instead of nuts.”

Roxanne’s narrowed gaze went from one officer to the other. “Please tell us, why this is so important?”

These officers behaved differently, rougher around the edges than the ones who responded to her 9-1-1 call. She eyed the older officer. “What division do you work in?”

“Homicide.”

Roxanne felt the blood drain from her face, she forgot her earlier resolve and leaned back against Philippe’s frame for support. This couldn’t be happening.

Incredulously, Philippe helped her to the nearest table. He pulled out a chair and forced her to sit. He put himself in between Roxanne and the officers. “Are you insinuating my grandfather was murdered?”

“At the moment, we’re looking at every angle of this case,” said Officer Johnson.

Roxanne regained her composure and asked, “Why are you asking about George’s allergies? What aren’t you telling us?”

Sanders sighed in apparent annoyance. “A preliminary autopsy revealed traces of nuts were found in his system. Do you know why anyone would want to kill him?”

“No! Everyone who knew him loved him. I don’t … I don’t understand how this could happen.” Confused, she turned to Philippe.

Astonished by the new information, Philippe prodded the police for more. “Do you think someone fed him the nut substance,” he paused for effect, “in his own restaurant?”

Johnson somberly nodded. “There’s a strong possibility.” He turned to her. “Miss St-Clair, you were the one who discovered Mr. Lafrance’s body. Is this correct?”

Roxanne nodded.

“Were the two of you alone in the restaurant at the time?” the officer asked, pulling out his notepad and pen.

“Yes.”

Johnson nodded, scribbling on the blank page. “Where were you on the premises when he died?”

“At the bar preparing the nightly deposit.” She pointed to the stool at the far end, the one Philippe had occupied all night.

The older officer raised a brow. “Isn’t 2 a.m. a little late to be doing a deposit?”

Roxanne bristled at his implication and straightened in her chair. “I always do a preliminary calculation every night. Then lock the money in the safe. The money is deposited the following morning.”

Philippe moved to stand behind her chair.

“Do you suspect Ms. St-Clair of killing my grandfather?” Philippe asked in a somber tone.

Roxanne gasped and stiffened with such force her back hurt. How dare they suspect her? Didn’t they know how much George meant to her? She’d have given her life to save his.

Johnson shook his head. “No, we don’t, Mr. Lafrance.”

Roxanne exhaled deeply then relaxed in her chair.

“At the moment she’s our only link to the killer.” Johnson turned his attention back to her. “Did you see anyone suspicious on the premises that night?”

Roxanne concentrated, trying to remember who had been in the restaurant that night. A few seconds went by then she shook her head. “None I can remember. The regulars stayed until closing, leaving soon after last call, around midnight. Only the staff remained.”

The older officer nodded curtly. “We’ll need a list of their names.”

Roxanne gaped at the officer. “Are you insinuating a staff member killed him?”

“We’re not ruling anything or anyone out at this point,” answered Saunders.

“You do think someone murdered George, though?”

Johnson met her gaze. She knew his answer before he replied. “Yes, we do.”

* * * *

Philippe squeezed her shoulder, but Roxanne stiffened under his strong yet gentle touch. She didn’t relax until he released his hold.

She looked up at the officers, troubled. “I don’t know why someone would want to kill George. I can’t believe that one of his own employees would kill him. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Saunders smiled, conveying his compassion. “It’s hard to believe, but these situations happen all the time. Employees turn on their employers for all kinds of reasons.”

Roxanne bristled. “Not here, they don’t.”

Philippe took a seat next to Roxanne at the table. “What do you need from us?”

“We need Miss St-Clair to answer a few more questions.”

Roxanne nodded, ready to comply. She glanced at her white knuckles and stopped herself from gripping them tighter together in her lap.

Johnson stepped up to the table and took a seat across from her. “What’s the first thing you did when you found the victim’s body?” He looked right into her eyes, unwavering.

Was he attempting to intimidate her? If so, the strategy worked.

“I performed CPR right away.” She took a deep breath to stem the flow of tears. “When George didn’t respond, I called 9-1-1.”

“Were you aware he’d had an allergic reaction?”

“No! Absolutely not. I told you before I thought he’d suffered a heart attack until the two of you showed up, telling us otherwise.”

“Do you have any idea how the victim could have ingested the nut substance?” the older police officer asked.

“He has a name, George Lafrance.” She took a deep breath to control her increasing temper. “Not a clue. He always prepared his own food. Someone must have brought nuts into the kitchen that night.”

Johnson gave her a puzzled look. “Why do you say ‘that night’?”

“We have a strict policy that states staff cannot bring in food containing nuts or nut by-products. George always checked the kitchen, every night, before he headed home.”

” Perhaps George skipped that night?” Roxanne shook her head in objection.

“George took every conceivable precaution against his allergies. He did all the ordering for the restaurant and inspected the products upon delivery. If the supplier sent him an item from a new company, he would have the delivery man wait while he read the ingredients on the label. If it listed ‘may have traces of nuts’, he’d refuse the item.”

“Did this happen often?”

“It used to. James and Sons, our current supplier, understands and accepts George’s nut free policy. They have accommodated his orders.”

Johnson’s jotted down her statement. He raised his head. “Who were the last employees in the kitchen that night?”

Roxanne bit down on her bottom lip. Saunders wandered around the room, distracting her. When she didn’t answer the question immediately, Saunders glanced back in her direction.

Roxanne cleared her throat. “Two new employees were scheduled for closing, Sam Bothwell, the assistant cook, and Nick James, the new dishwasher.”

Johnson darted his gaze from her to Philippe, addressing them both. “How well do either of you know both of them?”

Philippe leaned back in his wooden chair. “I haven’t met any of the employees, yet.” He turned to Roxanne.

“Nick started with us a few days ago and Sam’s been with us for about five weeks. He works well, but keeps to himself. I can’t even tell you if he has a girlfriend or who his friends are. Since he’s been here, he hasn’t once been late for work or mixed up an order.”

“How well did Sam Bothwell get along with the rest of the staff?”

“Alright, I guess. He hasn’t lost his temper with anyone. He doesn’t socialize with the others after shifts, if that’s what you mean. Sam comes in, does his job and leaves. He’s a good, hard worker.”

“What about Nick James?”

“Not much.” She shrugged. “He’s only worked a few shifts.”

“Did he know of George’s allergy and was he told of the rule against nuts in the kitchen?”

Roxanne bristled and, leaning forward, she folded her arms on the table. “We don’t have a lot of policies here, but everyone is expected to follow the ones we do have. Every new employee must read our rule book and sign it. One of the rules states that no one is allowed to bring any food that may contain traces of nuts into Rock Heaven, due to George’s allergy.”

The older officer flipped his notepad closed, slid it and his pen back into the breast pocked of his coat. “We’ll need their contact information so we can speak with them.”

Roxanne rose and walked around the bar, jotted down the requested information on a bar napkin and gave it to him.

He handed her his business card. “If you remember anything, however insignificant it may seem to you, please contact us.”

Roxanne escorted the officers to the front door in silence.

When she’d locked the door behind them, Philippe spoke up.

“I need a drink.”

Chapter Three

Philippe felt her disapproval through her stare boring into his back until he reached the bar. He lifted the bottle of whiskey and paused, looking over his shoulder. “Do you want one?”

She shook her head, making her curls bounce around her face. “You won’t find the answers you’re looking for in the bottom of a bottle.”

“That may be right,” he shrugged his shoulders and poured himself a shot, “but it certainly won’t hurt either.” He downed the shot and served himself another healthy dose.

Before he could drink it she grabbed the drink from him and poured it down the sink nearby. She appropriated the bottle and returned it to the shelf behind them.

“This is not the time to get drunk.”

Philippe leaned against the polished bar and crossed his arms. He had no intention of getting drunk, but telling her so would only diminish the image she had of him. Far be it for him to do that.

“Do you share Johnson’s theory? Do you believe a staff member killed George?”

She sagged against the bar next to him. “I don’t want to believe it, but it’s starting to look that way, isn’t it?” Her voice matched the deep sadness Philippe saw in her glistening eyes.

Philippe somberly nodded.

She stared at him and he had to resist the urge to stand up straighter. She threw him for a loop when she changed the subject entirely.

“What are your plans now?”

He cocked his head to one side, deciding what to tell her. He chose the truth. “I came here today to find out about the man who didn’t want me in his life. I was livid when his lawyer told me about George. A part of me wants to walk out the front door and never look back.”

“But?”

He looked away, masking his emotions. It no longer mattered to him how George lived his life. He still had unanswered questions and needed closure of sorts. Finding his killer would help him do that. “Tempted as I may be to leave, I can’t. He may have ignored me while he lived, but he certainly didn’t deserve to be murdered.” He glanced in her direction. In her eyes he saw relief.

He wasn’t doing this for her or her gratitude. He simply wanted to wake up in the morning with a clear conscience and be able to look at himself in the mirror.

“What should we do next?” she asked.

He threw his hands up in the air. “Hell if I know.”

“Maybe your mother could tell you now why George stayed out of your life.”

“I can’t see that happening.” Philippe sighed, frustrated.

Maybe, just maybe, Roxanne was right. George could no longer give him the answers he sought, but perhaps his mother could, despite her lies. She’d lied to him before, harping on about how there was no living relatives other than herself and his stepfather. Why? What did she gain keeping him from his grandfather?

Yes, he needed to talk to her, and he just hoped she would for once tell him the truth.

“I’ll give her a call, but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.” He grabbed his trench coat from the barstool.

“If you need to talk to someone, you know where to reach me.”

For a moment Philippe stared at her, startled. No one had ever offered him a shoulder to lean on, not even the nannies who had raised him.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He headed for the door before he weakened and took her up on her offer.

All the way back to the hotel, he pondered his conversation with Roxanne. Once at his hotel, he drew his key card and let himself into his room.

He threw the key card on the desk then reached for a bottle of water from the bar fridge. Nothing about today had turned out as he’d expected.

He sat on the bed and, after swallowing a big gulp, he put the bottle on the night table, took a deep breath and then called his mother.

She answered on the third ring. “Lebeau residence.”

“Mother, it’s Philippe.”

He heard her sigh heavily. “This isn’t a good time, Philippe, I’m on my way out the door.”

He ignored her evasive technique and forged on. “Why didn’t you tell me George Lafrance was my grandfather?”

She gasped.

“You told me I had no living relatives. Why the lie, Mother?”

“Philippe, this isn’t the time. I’m running late and I don’t have time to waste.”

“Make time. It’s not every day a man finds out he had a grandfather. I really don’t care if you’re running late. You owe me answers.”

Silence greeted his outrage. He took a deep cleansing breath. “Why? Why did you lie to me, Mother?”

“I did it for your own good.”

Philippe let out a dry and sarcastic laugh. “Is that the best you can do, Mother?” Philippe heard her flick a lighter and take a deep drag of a cigarette. She only smoked when stressed; he’d rattled her good.

“You want the truth, well here it is.”

He heard her ever-present bracelets irritatingly bang against each other indicating she was tapping the cigarette against an ashtray.

“Your father and I did what we thought best for you, which included cutting off all contact with Pierre’s family. As your parents, we believed you would adapt better to your new life without any reminders of the past.”

“Roger Lebeau is not my father, never has been and never will be. Pierre Lafrance was my father.” The muscle in his neck twitched from him clenching his jaw.

His mother snorted. “Roger has been there for the two of us—for the past twenty-three years.” Angela’s voice shook with anger, and grew louder. “Give him the respect he deserves.”

Philippe rubbed his forehead with his right hand and attempted once more to get through to her. “You may want to forget about my real father, but I don’t.”

Angela laughed haughtily. “You never showed any interest in him before now. Maybe if you had while growing up I might believe you now.” He heard a rasping sound. “Now if you don’t mind, I have better things to do with my time than talk about a past that’s better left where it belongs, in the past.”

She cut the connection before he could say anything else.

… Continued…

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KND Freebies: Bestselling epic fantasy KINGS, QUEENS, HEROES & FOOLS by M.R. Mathias is featured in today’s Free Kindle Nation Shorts excerpt

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and 107 rave reviews!
It’s a wild ride of demonic love, valiant battles, and foolhardy heroics in the exciting second installment of the epic fantasy, The Wardstone Trilogy, as M. R. Mathias’ terrific storytelling continues to capture readers’ imaginations with his fantastic world-building and
appealing characters.
4.6 stars – 114 Reviews
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Here’s the set-up:

Join Hyden Hawk Skyler, and some great new friends, on an adventurous quest, over land and sea, to find the Silver Skull of Zorellin.

Fight with Mikahl, Ironspike, and fierce King Jarrek as they try to free the enslaved people of Wildermont from King Ra’Gren and his Dakaneese Overlords.

Patrol the skies with Shaella, and her new black dragon, Vrot. With her father’s spell books, and the Priests of Kraw, she decides to aid King Ra’Gren, while scheming to free her lover, Gerard, from the hellish Nethers.

Demonic love, valiant battles, and foolhardy heroics await readers in this 175k word (600+ page) continuation of the epic ‘Wardstone Trilogy’ that was written in a Texas prison cell, by author, M. R. Mathias.

5-star praise from Amazon readers:

Brilliant!
“…Once again we are thrown into extreme action and adventure alongside the favorite characters of Hyden Hawk and Mikahl. A lot of new characters are introduced in this novel but M.R. Mathias has an awesome way of getting you to connect with them and see things through their eyes. While reading this book I was literally on the edge of my seat.”

Battle Scenes, Brawls, Mysteries, and Adventures
“…Mathias does a terrific job of enriching and expanding on his Wardstone Trilogy fantasy adventure with fresh and unpredictable schemes. There are many stories within the story….Yet it was the close relationships between the main characters that makes this book transcend beyond adventure.”

an excerpt from

Kings, Queens, Heroes
& Fools

by M.R. Mathias

Chapter Nine

They were given the Royal Compartments on the Seawander. There were two sleeping rooms, each five paces long and three wide. They had side by side cushioned bunks shelving out from the walls. A net faced storage ledge ran high on the wall, and a small writing table filled the space at the foot of the beds.  There was a brass oil lantern dangling from a short chain overhead, and as it swayed, the stark shadows it threw exaggerated the movements of the ship tenfold.

The two rooms were joined in the middle by a third, which was paneled with polished mahogany and had a round window that the crew kept clean enough to actually see through. The viewing portal, as it was called, was situated at the end of a booth table that could easily seat six men. There was a cushioned divan and an enclosed privy at the other end of the room. All three cabins were carpeted in plush sea-blue shag and trimmed with elegant brass works. As far as quarters on a ship went, this was the lap of luxury, but since none of the four companions had ever been to sea before, they thought it was cramped at best.

Oarly went straight to a bunk in the room he and Brady were to share and wasted no time getting rolled up in a woolen blanket. The dwarf asked that his meals be brought to him and that he not be disturbed. He then pulled the covers up over his head and lay stock still. All this he did to the amusement of the others a full hour before the ship was scheduled to depart the docks.

The other three only stayed below long enough to drop off their things. They were too excited to miss watching the land fade away as they took to the ocean. While they stood at the rail, Hyden had Brady and Phen go over the checklist of supplies for the tenth time. Rope, blankets, grappling hooks, lanterns, oil, arrows by the score. There were also shovels, axes, picks and other digging tools, not to mention the tents, field rations, foul weather gear and other necessities like soil cloth and healing herbs. They had thought of everything, or so they hoped.  It was a good thing, too, because by the time they had finished discussing the supplies Captain Trant was bellowing, “All hands aboard!” The ship was departing Old Port for the open sea.

At dinner the night before the Captain had told them a little about the Seawander. At just over two hundred feet long she was no ordinary ship. Built to carry Queen Willa and other nobility, instead of a cargo, it was sleek and ballasted for optimal speed. She boasted three masts that reached high into the sky and the Captain promised that they could fly enough canvas to outrun any Dakaneese pirate ship they came across. What’s more, the transom was lined with Wardstone, just like a river-tug, and the water-mage on board could make the ship go as fast as a double-decked rower, and that was against the wind. As proof of this, the ship lurched away from the dock without a single sail set and carved a sharp wake as it picked up speed and made its way through the harbor.

Men in fishing boats waved their hats and cheered the Seawander as she passed. A moment later, as she slid through the shadow of a monstrous ship, the crew of the galley called down to them in languages that neither Hyden nor Phen could name. Members of the Seawander’s crew called back up to them in clipped but joyous shouts. The hulking cargo vessel towered over them in the water so much so that Hyden and Phen both had to crane their necks to take it all in.

Talon swooped and terrorized the flocks of noisy white gulls that were following along behind them. He rolled and spun and showed off his aerial prowess to the smaller sea birds as if he were their superior. The gulls seemed more impressed with the bits of food that were being stirred up in the ship’s wake, but still kept a wary eye on him.

Deck Master Biggs called out orders, his voice booming through his thick seaman’s beard. The first mate repeated them, and like monkeys, men took to the rigging and unfurled the yellowed canvas of a dozen or more sails. Soon the Seawander began picking up speed. As she left the protected area of the port she began rising and falling with the swells. Each time she came down a great splash of spray and foam shot out from under her and blew back across the deck. Phen gripped the rail tightly with one hand and thrust his other fist up into the air urging the ship on. Brady found the bowsprit figurehead, a mermaid of polished ironwood, and leaned out ahead of the ship with her, letting the wind blow his long brown hair back behind him.

“Look!” Phen exclaimed.

Hyden searched the sea where Phen was pointing but didn’t see a thing. Then all of a sudden a delfin fish, as big as a man, sleek and green leapt out of the water alongside of them; another one shot out of the sea, then another. Soon a dozen of the smiling, snouted fish were arcing through the air racing and dancing with the ship as they went.

Talon swooped down amongst them, and through his familiar link Hyden could hear their joyous laughter and mirth. They were like a group of children playing in the summer sun.

Phen streaked across the deck toward the bow to tell Brady about the delfin. Deck Master Biggs caught him up about half way, flipped him around then half dangled him over the side rail. With a threatening, yet playful, look on his face, the Deck Master snarled, “There be no running on me deck, boy! No more warnings!”

When Deck Master Biggs pulled him back onto the ship and let him go, Phen’s eyes were the size of chicken eggs, but his terrified grin was even wider than before.

The delfin followed them for some while, and before they knew it, land was no longer in sight. The Captain said something to the Deck Master who looked behind them through his long glass then pointed. Biggs said something to the first mate, who came over to where Brady, Hyden and Phen were now leaning on the rail enjoying the delfin show and Talon’s antics.

“Keep a watchin’ as you are,” the man said with a discolored, gap-toothed grin.

Hyden let his eyes trail behind them to where the Deck Master was pointing his looking glass. For a moment he saw a surging swell on the water behind, then it was gone. It came again, only closer this time. There was a single sharp spiked fin as big as a man’s leg breaking the water at the peak of the swell. Then it was gone again, back into the rolling sea. Then all of a sudden a fish the size of the Seawander herself leapt clear of the surface beside them. Its toothy mouth snapped shut on a pair of delfin as the terrified screeches of the rest of the pod caused Hyden to cringe and Talon to veer sharply away.

“Wow! It’s a sabersnout, Hyden,” Phen exclaimed loudly.

“Just so, lad!” Captain Trant boomed from somewhere. “Don’t fall over the rail now.”

Talon was so startled by the monstrous fish that he came swooping down out of the air onto the deck and landed badly among a roped down stack of water barrels.

The delfin were long gone when the sabersnout leapt through the air a second time. Its glossed black, dinner plate sized eye looked directly at Hyden Hawk. The satisfaction it felt after having just eaten a fresh meal was no less than the joy the delfin had been feeling when they were at play. If it could have, it would have eaten Hyden as it had the two unlucky delfin. Thus is nature, Hyden told himself as the big fish splashed gracefully into the rolling ocean and disappeared.

The Captain’s table was in the galley, and that evening they were invited to eat with the officers of the ship. The fare was quite a bit better than the promised sea biscuits and salted meat. It was actually fresh venison and honey pork with hard bread and seaweed casserole. The table was treated to hilarious entertainment courtesy of Babel, the Captain’s little blue-haired mango monkey. The monkey was the size of a newborn child and, as the first mate played a ditty on the flute, it whirled, tumbled, and spun across the table as gracefully as the ballerinas that sometimes danced in Queen Willa’s auditorium.

They tried to get Oarly out of bed to attend the dinner, but not even the lure of wine or stout ale would get the dwarf to leave his cabin.

After dinner, back in the Royal Compartment, Brady listened while Phen and Hyden took turns reading out of the Index of Sea Creatures. They spent a little time reading about delfin and the sabersnout, but curious as they were, they read on. They read about the cloud fish that squirted inky poisonous fluids into the water to stun its prey. They read about the ever hungry marsh threshers and the rare flying sea turtles whose bright turquoise shells were worth a small fortune in gold. They read into the evening until eventually all three of them were plagued with yawns. Finally, long after the moon had presented itself, they all fell asleep to the smooth rocking motion of the ship as it carved its way westward through the ocean.

Phen found himself at the ship’s rail before the sun was even up. He was heaving his supper to the fishes. Brady was right beside him.  Oarly was sick as well, but had locked himself in the privy down in the Royal Compartments. Sick or not, the dwarf was determined to stay below deck the entire journey.

“It’s not right,” Phen whined. “I wasn’t sick yesterday.”

“Neither was I,” Brady said glumly, just before lurching another load of bile out into the sea.

“I don’t know where it’s all coming from,” rasped Brady when he was done. “I know I haven’t eaten that much.”

“Aye,” Phen agreed then started to heave.

“Here,” the first mate said, stepping out of the darkness. “Drink ye a few swigs of this, lads, and your guts’ll settle.”

Brady took the offered flask and was about to sip from it when the man cut in again sharply.

“Ah! Ah! Ah! Wipe you fargin mouth first,” the man all but shouted. “Do ya think I wanna taste your innards?” Even in the darkness, the gaps in his teeth were visible.

“Sorry,” Brady mumbled. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve then took a long pull from the flask. The burn of the liquor was harsh, especially in his throat. When it got down into his belly, though, the roiling there dispersed into a warm fuzzy pool. Phen took two quick swallows and nearly choked.

The next day, save for the crew, Hyden had the deck to himself. Oarly, Phen, and Brady were all below. Phen and Brady were sleeping soundly. Oarly was still locked in the privy, but snoring loudly between his less frequent rounds of dry heaving.

After conferring with Deck Master Biggs, Hyden scaled up the main mast’s maze of rope ladders, yardarms, and rigging, up to the crow’s nest at its top. From there he could see the horizon in all directions. There was no land in sight. It was a little unsettling, but not so much as when he looked down to see that the little ship below him wasn’t actually below him at all. It was off to the right at the moment, riding up the face of a swell. Ever so slowly it passed under him and he felt the crow’s nest swaying quickly out to the right of the ship as it eased down the other side of the wave. Not since he first started climbing the secret hawkling nesting cliffs to harvest their eggs with his clansmen had he felt such a tingling rush of vertigo.

No, that wasn’t true. When he’d ridden on the dragon’s back, he’d felt the same thrill, but that ride had been mostly at night. The feeling of desperation he felt during that flight had overshadowed everything. This was different. He decided he would have better odds calling the outcome of a coin flip than he would of landing on the deck if he fell. He knew he wouldn’t fall, though. He had been climbing all his life.

For a long while he spread his arms out like they were wings and focused his sight out ahead of their course. Only puffy white clouds, blue sky, and the slow rolling turquoise sea were in his field of vision. He imagined first that he was once again on the back of the dragon, but then that wasn’t enough. He imagined that he was the dragon, that he was gliding effortlessly over the sea, his big hind claws skimming the tops of the waves, and his wide leathery wings pushing volumes of cool salty air. In his mind he flicked his long sinuous tale this way and that to keep his balance true, then arced a swift banking turn one way, then the other.

Talon swooped in and landed at the basket’s edge. The bird had to keep his wings out to maintain his balance there but he did it gracefully.

Hyden smiled at his familiar as the dragon vision slipped away from him. He touched the dragon tear medallion that always hung under his shirt. If you ever have a need of me, just call me through the tear, and I will come, Claret had said to him. She’d also said: Remember who your true friends are. They come few and far between. He wondered if her remaining egg had hatched yet. It galled him that Shaella had tricked his brother into stealing the other two. Gerard had paid the price for his thievery—or was still paying it.  Hyden shook off the thought and tried to get his mind back on pleasant things, but it wasn’t to be.

He didn’t quite understand what Shaella meant that night, in the middle of nowhere, just before he threw her off the dragon’s back. “You wouldn’t know what’s left of him,” she said. “He’s barely even human now.”

Claret had confirmed that Shaella’s words were true. The Westland wizard Pael had run a dagger through Gerard’s heart, but Gerard hadn’t died. The magic ring he’d found had kept him alive, but barely. Apparently he had crawled down into the darkness of the Nethers to escape Pael, or maybe to chase the power that the old crone had once foretold he would find down there.

Shaella said that he was barely human now, and Claret said that Gerard shouldn’t have survived, but he had, because of the ring—the ring that Hyden was supposed to be wearing.

The goddess of Hyden’s clan had told him that he must someday get the ring back from Gerard, that it was supposed to have been his. Until it was on Hyden’s finger, the balance of things would remain badly off kilter.

Hyden hoped beyond hope that the Silver Skull of Zorellin might actually allow him to retrieve it, or at least allow him to go into the Nethers after it. He hoped that Gerard was still human enough to remember who he was.

Hopefully the bond they shared as brothers would be enough to allow Hyden to take back the ring peacefully and set the world aright.

Talon shrieked, bringing Hyden back into the reality of the moment. To the south, the sky was turning gray. Hyden took the looking tube from its holder in the basket and looked out at a dark place on the horizon. He decided that he could probably see better through Talon’s keen vision. With his own eyes still open, he sought out Talon’s sight. Now he could see a mass of churning black clouds as if they were right in front of him. Bright jagged lightning streaked up from the sea and fat drops of rain pelted the angry waves. The swells had grown huge and the wind was blowing in gusty spurts. It wasn’t easy remaining calm as he climbed back down the mainmast to find Captain Trant.

“A bad storm you say?” Captain Trant scanned the sky to the south and sniffed the air. “Maybe so, maybe so. Biggs! Go get me the long glass!” the Captain ordered as he strode up onto the forecastle. A brass tube as long as a man’s arm was brought up and the Captain peered through it to the south. He was silent for a long time, then he turned to look at Hyden curiously. “You saw that from the nest, did you?”

Hyden nodded. Talon flapped at his shoulder as the wind gusted and threatened to topple the bird. Captain Trant’s eyes stopped on Talon for a moment.

“I’d suggest that you ’n’ yer bird both get below afore long, and take this.” The Captain deftly snatched the second mate’s flask out of his shirt pocket as he moved by. “Your men will need it. That’s not just a rain storm blowing at us, Sir Hyden Hawk, that’s something a few tads nastier than hell!”

Chapter Ten

High King Mikahl saw the demon-boar just in the nick of time.

Earlier in the evening they had taken two nice does, and we’re now trying for a third. Four of the archers had ridden north making a wide berth around the river. They were riding back toward Mikahl and the other three men. They were coming slowly, trying to flush a buck, or maybe even a wild sow, out into the open. Mikahl didn’t find much sport in hunting this way, but when there was an army of men to feed, and the sun was setting, there was no better way to drum up a meal. The High King was positioned closest to the band of thick underbrush that ran along the river’s bank. He was reminiscing about the last time he’d been on a true hunt.

His fond memory was interrupted by two dull red embers a good foot apart, glowing in the deepest shadows of the forest ahead of him. He squinted, blinked a few times. Then, just as he realized that the embers were actually eyes, the beast charged.

Mikahl loosed the arrow he had nocked, then flung the bow at the enormous beast and drew his sword. Whether from the sudden appearance of Ironspike’s magical blue glow, or from fear of the huge charging demon-boar that it illuminated, Mikahl’s horse reared and whinnied loudly. In Mikahl’s head, the eldritch symphony of Ironspike’s power blasted full force, into a glorious and triumphant harmony. Mikahl turned the horse with a yank on the reins and was ready to slash when one of the fool archer captains tried to be a hero and charged his horse right between Mikahl and the demon-boar. The boar’s tusks were razor-sharp and at least the size of a young girl’s forearm. The archery captain’s poor mount didn’t have a chance. The boar dug his head down and gored up through the animal. Then it reared back and sent horse and rider twisting into the trees.

Mikahl was awed by the size and strength of the creature. It was as tall as a man at the shoulder and was as big as a horse-drawn wagon, but low to the ground and covered in bristling hide.

The archery captain’s sharp scream was abruptly cut off as his head slammed into a trunk. The disemboweled horse crashed down not too far from him with a thumping whoosh.

Ironspike’s glow went from blue to lavender, then to cherry-red, as Mikahl’s anger grew. When the boar came charging at him again, he sent three wicked pulsing blasts into the beast’s neck and shoulder. He tried to spur his mount out of the way, but the terrified horse baulked. The last thing Mikahl sensed before his horse made a desperate twisting leap was the horrible stench of burnt hair from where his blasts had scorched the beast. Ironspike was knocked from his hand and he was smacked gracelessly out of the saddle by a low hanging limb. In the now completely darkened forest, he landed hard on his back.

For a few heartbeats he thought he might have been knocked out, but the deep grunting of the angry beast and the thrum of an arrow being loosed from nearby came to his ringing ears and told him that he was still in the realm of consciousness. As soon as he had his breath back, he scooted himself back against a tree trunk. He strained to see, but it was too dark. Men were shouting, and nearby he heard his horse crashing through the trees. Blasted animal, he thought, Windfoot wouldn’t have frozen up like that. He found that he missed his horse quite badly.

Since he didn’t know where his weapon, or the boar had gone, Mikahl figured that he was all right to wait where he was.  Then someone fired up a torch. The red eyes of the demon-boar were coming in at him again, this time with a vengeance. He felt around him on the ground hoping to find Ironspike, but had to give it up.  He barely had time to roll out of the way.

The demon-boar hit the tree Mikahl had been leaning against so hard that it shook the ground. It didn’t advance after that, it just stood there. Mikahl could smell the acrid stench of the creature’s wounds as it staggered in place right next to him. It was all he could do to hold in the contents of his bladder. Even in the torch-lit darkness the boar’s size wasn’t lost on him. He brushed against its side as he tried to get away. Its coarse bristles felt more like pine needles than hair.

Someone called for him but he couldn’t find his voice to answer. He had a dagger in his boot, but he knew better than to waste the effort. A dagger probably wouldn’t even get through the thick hide of something that big. The only course of action was to get away while the thing was still stunned. If he hadn’t lost the sword, things would be different. As he stumbled blindly away with his hands up to guard his face from branches and thorny brambles, he couldn’t help but feel naked. Without Ironspike he was vulnerable. He knew he wasn’t defenseless without the sword. He was better than everyone on the practice yard. He had grown used to the feeling of invincibility that the magical blade gave him, though. He had grown used to its power. He decided that, if he lived through this, he would try to be more careful. He knew if he died, the power of Ironspike would die with him. Without Ironspike, who would unite the realm into a place of peace? Like it or not, he was the last of Pavreal’s bloodline, and the sword would only recognize him as its wielder. For the first time, he actually understood why Queen Willa was trying so hard to get him wed.

“King Mikahl!” an exasperated voice shouted for the umpteenth time, as long wild shadows went flying about the area. Mikahl heard the call and responded.

“Here,” he rasped back. The Captain found him quickly then.

“Where is it? Where is the beast?” the man asked in a frightful panic.  As an afterthought he added a quick, “Your Majesty.”

The demon-boar grunted beside them and made a low gurgling noise. The slow but solid sounds of trees being pushed aside, of fragile limbs suddenly being shaken loose, and the thump of heavy retreating footfalls followed.

“It’s getting away,” the Captain said. “Should I give chase?” His words sounded far braver than his voice.

“We’ll track it together in the daylight,” Mikahl replied.

The archery captain’s sigh of relief was louder than he intended it to be. Mikahl thought that he could see the man flushing with shame, but didn’t hold it against him; didn’t hold it against him in the least.

A short while later, General Spyra’s guardsmen came storming through the forest like a chaotic parade of giant fire bugs. Ironspike lay not three paces from where Mikahl sat, which saved him some embarrassment on the long ride back to Tip. Captain Finley died from the head injury he sustained when the boar threw him into the tree, and two other men had been wounded when they gave chase by torchlight. Mikahl learned all this by the campfire while munching on the hot greasy haunch of one of the does they’d killed. He raised a toast to the fallen man and then proceeded to down several cups of stout ale before promising the good people of Tip that the demon-boar would be rooted out before the host moved on to Dreen.

General Spyra didn’t like the idea of staying any longer than necessary, but didn’t voice his opinion. Instead, at first light, while Mikahl lay sleeping off the intoxication of the night before, the General organized a party to go kill the beast and get it over with. He sent two hundred men far to the north and had them form a tightly spaced line from the river all the way out to the tree line. They moved southward through the forest at a steady clip most of the morning before finally finding the creature. It was already near death from the wounds Mikahl had inflicted with Ironspike’s magic.

Mikahl woke to the news, brought back from by rider just after midday. A wagon was sent to bring the carcass into town, and upon seeing Mikahl’s hung-over condition, the General informed the men to take their time as they would be staying in Tip for one more night.

Later, after seeing the massive body of the dead boar, the townsfolk of Tip put on a feast for the General, his captains, and the hero of the day, High King Mikahl, who, according to the men, had more or less killed the beast single-handedly. As much as he wanted to, Mikahl didn’t drink more than a goblet of ale that night. He didn’t like the attention these people shoveled onto him for such a trivial deed as defending himself. It was a deed that he couldn’t even credit to his own action. Everything he had done had been a reaction. Nevertheless, the people of Tip were happy and relieved, and that was enough to keep the smile on his face genuine until he found his way to his bedroll.

Five days later they passed through Kasta, a small city and fully fledged trading center that had only tasted a minimum of damage from Pael’s army. “The undead just marched right through,” the people told Mikahl and the General. “They killed a few, but didn’t stop long enough to do much more.”

Pael, it seemed, hadn’t been around when his army of living corpses had passed. All of the people of Kasta knew who Pael was, though. Dreen was just up the road, and of the several thousand that had lived there, only a few hundred had escaped the death and destruction Pael had wrought. The story was that half the people of Kasta had moved to Dreen to claim the shops and farms of their dead families.

The entire two days it took for them to march the troops around Kasta, Mikahl was swamped with invitations to enjoy the hospitality of every noble, and some not so noble, house in the city. Both afternoons were spent wading down the avenues with a small detachment of Blacksword soldiers, through the sea of gathered crowds that just wanted to see and cheer the great young king who had defeated Pael.

In the evenings they went out of their way to avoid the persistent city folk, but it didn’t matter. The crowd came to them. The last time Mikahl had seen this many Valleyans gathered in one place, they had been living corpses, wielding everything from farm implements to two-handed swords, trying to kill him and Queen Willa’s soldiers. Now they were wielding the Valleyan banner, a dark shield on a red and yellow checked background, and they were cheering the very people they had been trying to kill. The Valleyans had been attacking Queen Willa and Highwander even before Pael had come along. It amazed him what a common enemy could do to get folks on the same side.

Besides being accepted by the Valleyan people, the only good thing to come of the attention Mikahl’s arrival was generating was the young, proud, and fully trained destrier that was presented to him that second evening. Thunder was the beautiful animal’s name, and Mikahl graciously accepted the horse. He had a squire get the information of the house that had given him the gift and hand wrote a letter of appreciation.

Thunder had the ill luck of being owned now by Mikahl. Thunder had heavy horseshoes to fill. Mikahl would take excellent care of the creature, but he would also compare the horse’s every action and detail to Windfoot. Mikahl had already vowed to retrieve Windfoot from the Skyler Clan village when he had the time. Thunder would never find a more caring owner, but when Windfoot came home, Thunder would probably spend a lot more time in the stable than he was used to. Windfoot and Mikahl had survived a lot together.

Mikahl was glad to get Kasta behind them. The road to Dreen seemed to be as crowded as the city had been. Many a cart and wagon was passed on the way to the Red City. Swine herds, goat herds, people making the journey on foot as well. Nearly all of them stopped to cheer Mikahl as he and the Blacksword detail rode past. When they finally reached Dreen, an escort of Valleyan cavalry led them from the outskirts of the fringe settlements into the big red clay brick wall that surrounded the capital city itself. Beyond the city, to the north and west, the Wilder Mountains rose up out of the arid plain.

When they approached the wall Mikahl was awestruck, not by its height, but by the amount of space it enclosed. It was said that, on foot, a man might take most of a week to walk the top of the wall all the way around the city. Mikahl didn’t doubt it. The main gates and the sections of wall to either side of them had been newly rebuilt. The fresh clay brick was a lighter shade of pink than the weathered brick around the gates. And the thick wood planks that had been bolted to the old rusty iron bands of the gate itself were still fresh and white. All that could be seen rising above the thirty foot wall were two crenellated towers that were set deep into the city.

When they passed through the gates, Mikahl saw that the wall was half as wide as it was tall. Clanking iron portcullises were being raised on the inside. Once clear of them he found that the Red City was not misnamed. Nearly all of the well-spaced buildings were made of the same clay brick as the outer wall. No building was higher than two stories save for the twin towers, which reached up out of what could only be King Broderick’s modest castle. The streets here were not crowded, and every other building appeared to be empty and abandoned. Most every structure boasted a fenced corral; some held prized Valleyan horse stock, others held sheep or goats. There were a few head of cattle here and there and more than one weary looking bull, but mostly there were horses ranging in the pens. The clay streets were wide and pocked with the hoof prints and cart tracks of the millions of animals that had been driven through over the years. The bulk of High King Mikahl’s host made an encampment near the east gates where they entered the city. King Broderick’s cavalry attachment led the others—King Mikahl, General Spyra, two archery units, and Spyra’s fifty man guard attachment—through the city toward the castle. They had to stop for the night before reaching it, and it was well into the afternoon the next day when they finally came to the unimpressive head-high wall that surrounded Broderick’s abode.

A pair of full-size stallions rearing to fight decorated the ornate double gate. They were a study in detail and craftsmanship. The dark stone they were carved from was veined with blood red and pinkish white. The color went well with all the red clay around them. Mikahl found that he wanted to get out of Thunder’s saddle and examine them closer, but decided against it. General Spyra eased close to him, and as they waited for the gate guards to announce them to the castle, he spoke.

“Notice that the people who live inside the red wall are a little quieter about your arrival?” The General grinned. The sun reflected off of his bald head into Mikahl’s eyes. Mikahl had to squint when he looked back at him.

“Aye. Days of being cheered, then all of a sudden only stares and nods inside the wall. Why?”

“Outside the walls,” the General leaned in close so that he could whisper, “the craven king’s power is thin. They would put you in his seat in a moment, I assure you. But here, inside the walls, Broderick has thousands of ears and a much stronger base of support. He’ll lick your boots, but he’ll do it in private.”

If the capital of Valleya was unimpressive compared to Xwarda or Castlemont (before Pael had destroyed them), then King Broderick was a total letdown. The large, fleshy man was robed in wrinkled layers of golden cloth trimmed in red. His black hair and beard were thick, curly, and unkempt, and the people who were gathered around him at the top of the castle’s entry stair looked about as happy to be there as they would at their own execution.

Mikahl had an urge and followed it. Before the craven king could say a word, he spurred Thunder forward and quickly closed the space between him and the foot of King Broderick’s entry stair. The Valleyan King’s Guard was surprised by the move, but more than one of them stepped up, with hand on hilt, ready, if a little reluctantly, to defend their big sloppy king. Mikahl drew Ironspike and the purplish glow of its blade was clearly visible in the midday sun. The people around Broderick, guardsmen included, instantly shrunk back from him. It was as if they all half-expected Mikahl to take off the man’s head in that instant. King Broderick himself seemed only slightly impressed by Mikahl’s display. Still, he was more than a little nervous as he glanced over at his court announcer and gave a sharp nod.  “Thump! Thump! Thump!” sounded the butt of a staff on the sun-baked clay surface. “All hail High King Mikahl Collum, the Blessed Uniter.”

Reluctantly, King Broderick went to a knee. Every person in sight of the scene followed suit, save for one, a slim man who was dressed quite regally and standing in the castle’s entry way behind King Broderick’s retinue. Mikahl’s eyes met his and the man gave a nod of respect, no more, no less. Mikahl smiled and returned the gesture.

At least there’s one here not ready to lick my boots, Mikahl thought, and found that he had more respect for the one in the doorway than anyone else he’d met here so far.

“Rise,” Mikahl commanded with forced authority in his voice. He had to bite back a laugh when he heard General Spyra mumble under his breath, “He might be too fat to get up.”

General Spyra was correct, for two men quickly stepped up on each side of the Valleyan king and helped him to his feet. All around them, the Valleyan people started to cheer. The look on Broderick’s bright red face showed that this wasn’t the introduction he had envisioned, and that he was none too pleased about the situation. The smiles on the faces around the King of Valleya showed Mikahl that it was an introduction they had enjoyed, though. King Broderick had been put in his place swiftly, and publicly, right from the start, and those who’d seen it, especially the curious man in the doorway, had enjoyed it immensely. Mikahl wasn’t really amused, though. In fact, he found that he was disgusted by the way Broderick carried himself.

… Continued…

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Kings, Queens, Heroes, & Fools
(Wardstone Trilogy, Book Two)
by M. R. Mathias
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Founders Less Than Three is a funny, sexy, office romance about a fictional accelerator program in Cambridge, MA where five female founders and five male founders compete for funding and fun.

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an excerpt from

Founders Less Than Three

by Halley Suitt Tucker

1

Getting In

Once upon a time there was an accelerator named Celery. No, I suppose that’s not quite the way to start my story. But there really is an accelerator program in Boston called Celery. It’s a jumping joint where geeky folks come together to start new companies, meet mentors, find financing. But the best stories start with boy meets girl, don’t they?

So, it all started when I met Nick Belden. He was a nerdy geek with big glasses who never thought any girl would give him the time of day, until he founded a startup company, then suddenly he was famous.

But I didn’t know who he was. I was just being nice. I nearly ran into him on my bike on a side street, off University Avenue in Palo Alto, California. He had a flat tire and was holding the wheel in his hands, examining it as if it were a mysterious invention. He turned to look at me as I rode by, my blonde braids hanging out the sides of my helmet. I was wearing a red polka dot dress and going to a birthday party. He was blocking the path in an annoying way.

“Hey! You nearly slammed into me,” he said.

“Hey! You’re blocking the whole road,” I said. “What happened to your tire?”

I got off my bike and took the wheel away from him.

I spun it and found the problem pretty easily.

“Here,” I pulled out a nail and handed it to him.

I got my Park tools and patch kit out of my backpack. My dad had taught me to fix bikes and I always carried my tools with me.

“You’ll need a patch,” I explained and made him one. I worked quickly and silently. He seemed amused to watch me work.

“Who are you?” he demanded in a rather confused way.

“What, you’ve never seen a girl fix a bike? My name is Monica.”

“Monica What?”

I ignored him as I finished what I was doing. I got the feeling people jumped when he asked them questions.

“I asked you, Monica Who?” he said.

“I’m just Monica. Monica, the girl who fixed your bike. Who are you?” I said returning his bike to him. I wiped my hands on a rag I carried.

“Nick, ah, Nick Belden,” he said.

“Nice to meet you Nick. Take it to a shop soon and get it trued up,” I told him and rode off.

An hour later, he walked into the same party he’d made me late for. The birthday girl introduced us.

“Monica Kroy, this is Nick Belden,” she said.

“You mean, Monica the girl who fixed my bike? Let me see your hands,” he said. “No bike grease. Impressive.”

My friend was looking at me strangely, like this was a big deal that he was talking to me.

“Nick’s running a hot new startup,” my friend, birthday girl gushed.

“Monica wouldn’t be interested,” Nick said, “It’s got nothing to do with bikes.”

“Actually she’s a whiz at coding. She went to Caltech,” she told him.

“Really? We’re hiring. Here’s my card,” he said.

I nodded, slipped the card in my jeans jacket pocket.

“Gotta go fix another guy’s bike, catch you later,” I said and ducked out. Later I tossed his card in the trash on the back porch.

I was in full crush mode on some other guy, so I ignored Nick most of the evening. It ended up crush guy worked for Nick, and as I started hanging out with him, I kept running into Nick, at his company, at a local coffee place, at parties.

Nick was charming, but no prince. I was 20 and he was 40. Nick was becoming Silicon Valley royalty and kept calling me and trying to convince me to come work for him. I finally agreed. A week after I started, he fired the guy I liked. Nick didn’t know that things had already cooled down with the crush guy and we were just friends. He actually did me a favor, letting the guy go. I settled into my job and kept ignoring Nick.

Other guys asked me out but I said no. I had changed my mind a little. I was kind of getting to know and like Nick. But I didn’t want to lose my job over an affair with the boss that could end. Girls did dumb things like that all the time. I didn’t want to.

I’m a girl who grew up believing it was okay to be a totally nerdy blonde girl on a farm in Manteca, CA, who would some day start her own high-tech company. Manteca isn’t the cool part of California; it was the hot, inland part. My dad made me believe I could do anything. It was an unlikely place to start believing in that dream, but he was good at making me believe in anything.

I had a Cinderella story going, in a way. I grew up on a farm, not rich, but in a working-class family. We even had chickens. But instead of waiting around for some Prince Charming to show up, I decided to take things into my own hands, learn how to write some code, go to school in computer science, create a company, and change the world, even though I was from an unknown town like Manteca, which by the way means “lard.” It’s a crazy thing to name a town. Bad branding. It’s an agricultural Garden of Eden in a way, a part of California with peach orchards and almonds trees and tomato fields and grape vines, which makes it feel as far away from Silicon Valley as the moon.

Nick was getting bolder, texting me funny messages and leaning over me when he was showing me stuff on my screen, teaching me Agile Programming, you know, romantic stuff like that.

So I guess, he just talked me into it. He decided he was going to make me love him one way or another. He did all the romantic things geeks are good at doing. Engineers are seriously sexy and very romantic. They have the best brains anywhere and that’s the way to turn a girl on. Nick knew how to get me smitten. He took all the time in the world to listen to me and teach me things. We talked about every new company, every programming language, every new device and we stayed up late with good California wine many wonderful nights talking about the future. I really fell for him. It was a fun time. Riding the roller coaster to the IPO for his startup and getting to be his main squeeze was a thrill.

We founded a second company in 2009, but it wasn’t taking off as fast as the first. That was more about being early in mobile and the lousy economy. By 2012 things at the company were getting a little better, still, it hadn’t been a piece of cake. We’d had a few years of slogging along, the regular hard work of it, not at all glamorous, but necessary. And lately, my now famous husband was getting tough to deal with. He wasn’t very nice to me any more. He didn’t seem to have the time. Didn’t seem to want to bother. I was beginning to think Nick was the wrong guy for my story.

By now, I was 32 and Nick was 52 and I’d always wanted the same thing he had, the same thing most of the guys in the Valley wanted. I wanted my own company. But I also wanted something he didn’t have and didn’t want. A baby. I guess I changed my mind one day between 20 and 32. It happens. But Nick hadn’t changed his mind. He made it clear he didn’t want one.

So over breakfast one morning, I saw a blog post about accelerator programs around MIT and I thought I might like to try one of them out. The article explained what accelerator programs were, a kind of summer camp for entrepreneurs, but not necessarily in the summer, giving them money and mentors and six months to try to launch their company. People knew Celery; it was getting some good press. It wasn’t as famous as Y Combinator or TechStars, but it was respected.

I showed it to Nick. He seemed politely encouraging. So I applied to the program and waited to see what happened. I thought I might have a chance. I needed a chance. I applied in September and they said we would be notified by the last day in December.

It was two weeks before Christmas and the Bay Area was having a heat wave. I remember what I was wearing that day, a blue cotton summer shift, knee-length, and a tiny white tee shirt underneath. I was dressed for a day at the ocean. But this would be no day at the beach.

I remember the weather in Palo Alto that morning; it wasn’t breezy and fresh as usual, but actually hot. I had my blonde hair up in a ponytail, to keep it off my neck. I was wearing grey Converse sneakers and white gym socks.

I went into the office early, leaving Nick home to meet one of his “guys.” He often worked at home to meet one of his many house buddies: the plumber, the roofer, the electrician, or the contractor. I could never keep track of them.

I was at my office. It was about 7:30 a.m. and there weren’t many people at work yet. My lead programmer Puff was already in. The rest of the team had just left, after working all night. I was waiting for a special email. Today could be the day. Nick was getting on the conference circuit, getting famous since his first three startups had done well. People knew the name, Nick Belden. He could get a table at a cool restaurant. It might help me get into the Celery program. It might not.

Lately, he was complaining a lot about stuff I did. And he was realizing I might actually get in and then really go to Boston.

“How the fuck am I supposed to manage without you?” He loved to use the F-word.

“Nick, relax. What are the odds … ?” I’d said.

I was the CTO of our current startup. Hell, it had been my idea and I had done the pitch that got us funded. That made it tricky if I actually got into Celery. Who would replace me? My top three coders, Puff, Sanjay and Ranji were seriously fine coders, and Sanjay was almost ready to step into my shoes. But not quite. The VCs had invested in Nick and me. It would get them nervous if I left.

We had gotten some good press just last month, hinting at a big valuation, so suddenly my husband had his old Berkeley buddies hanging around the office looking for jobs. At a party the other night, his friend Steve had “volunteered” to take my place, when the two of them were very drunk and being stupid. Steve didn’t have the chops. No way.

When I thought about it, Steve was suddenly hanging out at our place a lot. He was showing up at our office parties, dragging along that stupid model-pretty PR chick he was dating. Her name was Cindy, but she spelled it “Sendi.” He even talked Nick into hiring her.

On his birthday, Nick had promised me we’d go out alone, just the two of us, to a new place in San Francisco I’d wanted to go to and somehow we ended up with those two, Steve and Sendi, crashing our birthday dinner date. I didn’t want to spend Nick’s birthday with them. I wanted a dinner date with my husband alone. It wasn’t a lot to ask. Sendi the PR chick was telling another name-dropping story about someone she knew at Facebook. The hostess brought over a blue birthday cake for Nick. Blue, hmm, it reminded me of a free Viagra sample he tried a few months back. That didn’t go so well. The cake had a straight line of candles, some on, and some off.

“I asked them to do it in binary for you, Nick,” Sendi gushed at my husband.

Yes, it was supposed to be fifty-two in binary — 110100 — six candles with the first two lit, then one off, then one on, then one off, but the last one was lit which actually made it fifty-three. Do the math, as they say. But she didn’t know crap about coding. She couldn’t have figured it out herself. Wonder who explained binary to her… they had done a great job.

Nick thought it was cute.

He actually said that word, “cute!” He never says that word.

I leaned over and blew out the ones digit.

“Now it’s fifty-two, it was fifty-three before,” I said.

I didn’t enjoy the birthday party. I really didn’t like the idea of Steve trying to take my place at work.

The office was surprisingly dead the next morning. Lately it was the place I’d rather be at dawn than in bed with Nick. This wasn’t a good trend.

The email from Boston had arrived overnight and was sitting in my inbox when I opened it. It was a YES from Celery! I read it, then jumped up and shouted, “Yes!” I printed it out. Old School, I know, but sometimes, nothing beats paper.

“And that means?” my coder pal Puff said. His turban looked sharp this morning.

“I got into Celery!” I said.

I handed Puff my phone, “Here take my picture.” I stood at the screen pointing to the email, as if you could see it. “I can’t wait to tell Sonya!” Sonya was my best friend and I wanted to talk her into going to Boston with me, to join me at Celery.

“Lovely,” Puff said, handing me back my phone.

“I gotta go tell Nick,” I said and headed for the printer room.

I headed out the side door, and took University Ave at a gallop. It meant I was going to Boston for five months, starting in January and ending in May on Demo Day when we would show off our companies and try to snag financing. I was so excited.

I ran up the street on that sunny hot morning, already hot even though it was early. It was more like half running, half skipping and half jumping up and down. I was going to run my own company!

Yes! It felt so good to run. Just like I used to feel when I was 12 and I spent the summers at the beach with my family, my dad giving me projects, asking me to invent stuff with him and we’d both try to build something with junk we found on the beach and see who came up with the better product. We were builders. We were makers. We were prototypers. My dad always made me feel like I could do anything, as long as I could just start building it.

My feet were strong and sure in my sneakers, flying up the street. I got to our driveway in about 10 minutes. I didn’t see any workman’s truck in the driveway, just a shiny little red VW beetle. The house was looking good. I realized I’d be a little sad to leave it behind. I flipped on my video and did a quick selfie video to show Sonya.

“Sonya, I got in, I’m going to Boston, but look at the house, I’m gonna miss it!” I panned over to the addition we’d just finished, past the red car, to the patio.

I teased Nick that he had bought the house just so he could have some real guy-type guys to hang out with, instead of geeks. Working men. Real men. Men who looked like they belonged on the covers of romance novels, tan buff hunks, sporting cowboy hats, carpenters’ belts, and big biceps. I couldn’t remember any of them having a red VW beetle; they were more the pick-up truck type. I ran into the house.

Nick wasn’t on the first floor. I called his name, no answer. There was a dull pounding noise on the second floor, but not like a hammer, more like furniture moving or maybe they were fixing a wall. I ran upstairs. I burst into our bedroom, “I got into Celery!” I yelled. Then I saw them.

There was my naked husband in our bed, with Steve’s alleged girlfriend, Sendi, the PR chick. What the hell? She was all tangled up with him, her skinny tan legs wrapped around his white butt and the soft pounding noise was him, my husband, on top of her, up to the hilt, maybe banging her head against our headboard.

Her toenail polish was bright blue.

She saw me and knew enough to make a squeaky gasp and some words that sounded like, “Oh my God!”

He didn’t see me at first, but then turned to look at me, his face hot, red, interrupted. I remember things — little things — like his expression. He didn’t look embarrassed or sorry. He looked mad.

“What the fuck?” he said, to me, his wife, like, “Why are you interrupting me while I’m busy screwing the PR chick!”

His red face and her bright blue toenails. It made me sick. I would remember those colors.

I turned around, took a few zombie steps, stunned, leaving our bedroom door wide open and then turned back, gripping my phone.

“Out! I want her out of here!”

“Shut the goddamned door,” she growled at Nick, pulling the sheet up around her.

He walked towards me, naked, slammed the door in my face.

I was dazed, seeing her, seeing him. And then a red-hot bolt of anger went through me. I turned to get out of there, just get out and get away from both of them and the slightly dank sexy smell to the clean, sunny street below.

I ran out the front door and across the street to my best friend Sonya’s place. I was in tears that left splotchy marks down the front of my sundress. I had the crumpled-up piece of paper in my hand.

“Oh my God, what happened?” Sonya said, at the door.

“I got into Celery,” I was crying.

“I know, but then why are you crying?” Sonya hugged me because she always knew when people needed hugs. She was short and came up to about my shoulder.

“I just found Nick in bed with the PR chick,” I said.

“No! The PR chick? I hate her!” she said. “He’s a bastard! They both are!”

“Yes! I’m going to kick his ass,” I said.

“Los traidores sucias!” Sonya went all Spanishy on me when she was pissed off. Her mom was from the Dominican Republic, her dad from Puerto Rico.

She brought me into the kitchen. Her computer was on the table. She got me a glass of tap water.

It was dawning on me. I said to Sonya slowly, “Oh my God, do you think that’s why he was wanted me to go to Boston… “

“You mean?” she said.

“Yes, that’s why he pushed me to apply to the Celery!”

“Crap! Like he wanted to get rid of you?” she said.

“She has blue toenails,” I said.

“That blue OPI color? Called, ‘What’s With The Cattitude?’ I do love that color,” Sonya said. “Seeing them, Senorita. It’s like a bad YouTube video blowback thing. It might be stuck in your brain like forever. Yuck!”

“Yeah. And a fake orange tan! Who does that in California?” I said and then I sort of stopped breathing. “And he’s gonna put his idiot friend Steve in my place at work!”

“This is bad.”

“There’s only one thing to do,” I said.

“What?”

“Hit him where it hurts!” I said.

“There?”

“No, I mean start another company that’s about a hundred times better than his. I’m leaving tomorrow,” I said. “You have to go with me.”

“Boston? It’s freezing and girlfriend, Latinas don’t do freezing,” she said, “and I’d have to quit.”

“Then quit, I can pay you. I can pay you whatever Google’s paying you,” I said.

“Quitting Google is cool now,” she said.

“It’s like quitting Harvard used to be,” I said.

“But what about that cute cook in the gluten-free café?” she said. She was kidding. We liked stalking that guy for fun cause he was so hot. And we liked eating his excellent polenta.

“Please go with me,” I told Sonya.

I grabbed my phone. I had to move fast.

“Ok, but I can’t leave for two weeks at least,” she said, “Monica? What are you doing?”

I was using my banking app on my phone, transferring a little money from our joint account to my personal account. Okay not a little, a lot of money. “Nick loves investing in startups. He just gave me a little bon voyage present,” I said. “We’re going to Boston.”

2

Getting Lost

Sometimes people make it easier to leave. Nick did. Cheating with the PR girl was bad, but in the morning on the way to the airport, I had four new discoveries. A close friend sent me an email telling me Nick had tried to get into her pants too. An ex girlfriend of Nick’s texted saying he’d been with her a week after we got married. The receptionist from his first company DM’d me on Twitter reporting he’d also slept with a different PR girl there and as if all that wasn’t enough, some girl at an accelerator in New York sent me Facebook pictures of her and Nick at CES the past January that were really pretty gross. I was mad, sad and glad I was leaving him all before 7 a.m.

Sonya drove me to the airport and headed into work. She planned to quit and join me in Boston two weeks later. She was usually good at cheering me up, but I wasn’t feeling too cheery. I didn’t tell her about the four new revelations. I just didn’t want to get into it.

It was a beautiful day out my little airplane window as I buckled in and started thinking about Nick. I was trying to understand how I had missed what was really going on with him. We’d worked so hard at the last company. I really wasn’t watching.

The pilot announced that it was 74 degrees out, but that we were heading into a snowstorm in Boston. Great. We were up and over Nevada by the time I started thinking back on how Nick and I met. I was just looking out the window as I crossed from west to east, trying to figure out how I’d married such a jerk. I’m not one of these women who think all men are jerks. I like men. I thought back on early days, how much I loved learning geeky things from Nick, how we’d talk until nearly dawn about Hex and Python and Android. We used to tell jokes about the Fibonacci Series, for goodness sakes. Those were the better times, when he took me seriously, helped me get into the startup world, showed me the ropes. So was it all just crap? Had he just been stringing me along (and all the other girls, too) not because he thought we were smart, but just because he wanted to sleep with all of us?

Sendi had staked her claim. That was the thing that bugged me. There were articles all the time about how women didn’t know how to compete like men in the entrepreneurial world, but no one ever pointed out the obvious. Women definitely knew how to compete. Unfortunately, they were competing against one another. When it came to fighting it out for the attention of certain alpha males, we never shied away from a good battle, without thinking twice. We could be cutthroat and shrewd, but why were we cutting each other’s throats instead of helping one another get ahead? Why didn’t we help other girls get inside startups and make sure we all got promoted to the important jobs, with seats on the executive team and finally, made room for one another in the boardroom?

And Nick? Had he encouraged this kind of thing in his company? I’d never thought of Nick as a philanderer. A cheater? I’d never believed he could do that. He wouldn’t do that to me. “Nick was no cheater,” I remembered saying that to a friend. Ha!

We’d been gaga for each other in the beginning. He asked me to marry him the first weekend we met. It got to be a joke, him proposing to me all the time. Then later, when he sold his first company and gave me a new Porsche, his lawyer thought it might be a good idea to draw up a pre-nup, just in case. I had a friend who went to law school at Berkeley and she reviewed it, adding in one of those cheating clauses, so if he ever cheated, he owed me big bucks. It was enough to really piss off Nick at first, but he finally agreed to put in a mutual cheating clause, which he insisted on calling the “good for the goose, good for the gander” clause.

I wanted to think bad things about him there on the plane that morning, I certainly was getting encouragement from all round to do so, but I couldn’t. I kept thinking of nice things we had done together. It seemed so sunny when I strolled down Memory Lane and turned the corner onto University Ave in my mind.

Bright yellow sun. And dark black sunglasses. That’s what I think of when I think of meeting him in Palo Alto. Blinding sun. Or maybe I was blind. Sunny happy Silicon Valley where the cool kids in black sunglasses and shorts and tee shirts roamed like wild animals imagining new ways of doing things. Kids who happen to be founders of companies you’ve heard of, builders of software you use every day and you probably think some adult invented. Well, an 18-year-old is legally an adult, right?

The bike shop. The Apple Store. The coffee shops. The rat-a-tat-tat crunch of a skateboarder tearing up the sidewalk. We were all so casual and cool and killing ourselves working 24/7 out there. Startup city. Even the names — try “Sand Hill Road” — it sounds like a day at the ocean, just bring your shovel and pail. Not exactly. More like, “Bring your A game.” A phrase I hate. The people who use that phrase seem to come from the camp where A stands for Asshole. It all looks cool and fun, sun and sand and silicon.

But don’t start thinking founders are having all that much fun. They are intense, serious people burning their brains over the next new thing, the perfect app, the big data mega-solution, even if they look all relaxed and casual in their cute clothes, madras Bermudas and the famous Adidas beach sandals with the black and white stripes. Don’t be fooled, they aren’t so relaxed.

Getting into Logan Airport, Boston looked grey and cold, the snow had ended and was deep, but Boston had one wonderful feature not noted in any guidebook — it was a town my husband wasn’t in! Yes, December in California meant I was wearing flip flops the day before, and now I was exhausted after a night of bad sleep and worry, but bundled up in wool and GORE-TEX, wearing my L.L. Bean boots ready to fight the elements and win in a town where Nick didn’t rule.

The pilot announced the fact that it was 20 degrees out, but with the wind chill, it was more like 12. One day ago Sonya and I were wandering down the street to get some frozen yogurt. Now this. I didn’t know from “frozen” yesterday.

I stood in the cab line, half freezing to death, and then finally got a cab into Cambridge. When we got to Kendall Square and I tried to pay the cab driver with my credit card, it was declined. That never happened. Maybe Nick had been up to no good. I scraped together enough cash from my purse, paid the guy and dragged my stuff into the lobby of the Marriott and stood near the concierge desk, as I pulled up my banking app on my phone.

My wonderful husband had emptied my account. I was broke. Great. I guess he figured, two can play at this game. I found an old credit card that was an individual account of mine and paid for the hotel. After I’d checked in and my stuff was settled in the room, I went swimming, hoping to forget the day. It almost worked. But even the pool was a bit cold and so was the air, nothing like my good old home sweet home of California, which suddenly wasn’t my home anymore.

I was thinking of how broke we were growing up and how I’d been given one of those pre-owned dresses for my senior prom. All night, I thought any minute some mean girl might come up to me and say, “Hey, that’s my dress!” I’m tall but it made me stoop a little. I don’t like the word “broke.” It makes me think of an old man in tattered clothes with a back nearly breaking.

After swimming, I felt a little better so I’d bundled up in all the clothes I could drag out of my suitcase and made the other plunge, out into the snow, in fact, into a full-on snowstorm. I made my way into Kendall Square, weaving through the streets of partly shoveled Cambridge to an ATM, where I could get some cash out of my personal account.

Kendall Square in January. Snow swirling up, snow blasting down the street, slapping the back of your neck, doing rude things up your skirt, if you were stupid enough to wear one. Nothing gets the heart racing quite like icy rain and having to leap chunks of snow every time you tried to cross the street. A chill that thrills some people perhaps, but not me. It only warns me to button up and keep moving.

It was like some video game set on a distant planet with whiteout conditions, but this was real and really cold, and you weren’t feeling like any Halo hero in this mess. It was “Beam me up, Scotty!” weather. Get me back to the ship or give me a new planet for God’s sake. Any planet. This one’s a loser. Bone chilling, wind whipping, seriously!

I rushed back to the hotel, not keen on doing much exploring. I was looking at the room service menu, thinking about the genius who invented that concept, wishing I could thank them when Sonya called.

“I did it,” she said.

“You quit?” I said.

“Yup and they didn’t like it. But Marissa said she understood.”

“I forgot you know her.”

“Duh, yeah,” Sonya said.

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her I was going to Boston to be a co-founder in a new company,” she said. “She said that was awesome.” Sonya sounded so cheery.

“She’s right. Co-founder, shit, of course, I’m sorry I didn’t say that when I asked you to join me,” I said. “Sonya, will you … will you be my co-founder? It sounds like ‘will you marry me?’ ”

“Don’t mess with me girl! Of course, I’ll be your co-founder!” she said.

“Crap, I can’t even pay you. Nick took all my money,” I said.

“Yo, Monica, girlfriend! I’ve got money. Don’t you think Marissa treats us right? She showed all us girls how to take care of our pretty little assets?”

“Your assets,” I goofed.

“You betcha,” she said. “I’m buying in and you need money honey, you ask me. I don’t want you talking to that idiot Nick.”

“You’re the best, Sonya,” I started crying.

“Don’t be crying! You cry at anything.”

“I’m just happy and I’m freezing. It’s so cold here, I have to warn you, it’s insane,” I told her.

“What time is it there?”

“Already 10:30.”

“So just take a bath and go to bed!”

“Now you’re my friend, my co-founder and my mother?”

“You need all three, girl!”

She was right. I was wiped out and a bath and bed sounded good.

The next morning I woke late, thanks to the jet lag and the dark sky getting ready to dump more snow on my new city. I got bundled up again and by the time I got downstairs the snow was falling heavily. I asked the hotel doorman where MIT was. He pointed straight ahead.

Welcome to Boston. I headed towards MIT, thinking the offices of the Celery program were near there. I was outside the Stata Center at MIT, beautifully designed by Frank Gehry with that stunning slanted roof, corrugated and crazy, decidedly out of the box. They were surprised the slanty roof leaked? I was surprised the roof was still attached to the building in this weather! I checked out the local geeks going by like Inuits sporting fur-rimmed hoods and puffy coats in many colors. This town had great hats.

But who the hell named these streets? There were no simple street addresses. Instead, there was 1 or 2 or 3 Cambridge Center or 800 Technology Square, or on the MIT campus which stretched across many blocks, you’d have an address like “E39” as if that made it easy. How about a number address with a real street name, something simple, like 367 Addison Avenue?

I was twenty-four hours from a sunny Palo Alto afternoon, now lost in the Star Treky ice of Planet Kendall and an hour away from pitching my startup idea to the other new kids on the block— God knows which block— at Celery, the coolest accelerator program in the MIT hood. Cool. Or more like FRIGID! Except I can’t find the block and my GPS is doing me no good.

Next to me, outside the Stata building, I asked a guy waiting for a bus for directions. He looked like a professor. He was happy to help, pulling out his smartphone. He assured me, “It’s right here on my phone.”

But all his phone said was LOADING.

Great.

He started shaking the phone. Who shakes their phone, like it’s a saltshaker that’s gummed up? So maybe he’s not an MIT professor. There’s something poetic about thinking you can shake a piece of gorilla glass to get more data to fall out of it. Hello, Sir, it doesn’t work that way!

I said thanks and ran inside, out of the beastly weather. The building was warm and welcoming, beautiful spaces to study or meet, all curving around a cute café.

I stopped to ask another stranger — a tall, skinny Indian guy in shorts. Wait, shorts in a blizzard? I was dreaming of Palo Alto and he’s jones-ing for Punjab I guess. He showed me his cool tablet phone, I played along, like I’d never seen one, but I knew the guys who invented it.

He looked at the address seriously.

“Wait, are you at Celery? You in the new winter class of startups?”

“Ah, yep, except, I’m not there and I can’t find it.”

“My roommate applied but didn’t get in. Three thousand, nine hundred twenty-five people applied. Ten got in.”

“Sorry,” I said, trying to sound humble. “He probably had a great idea. Tell him not to give up.”

I sounded like a parent. This guy must be about 16. I’m 32 and he probably thinks I’m about 1000 years old here on Planet Wunderkind.

“It wasn’t such a great idea really. He kind of did give up, but he’s got a great gig now at Pinkberry.”

More frozen yogurt. All Artic, all the time, around here.

“I know where you’re going. I’ll take you. I’m Vivek1412. I mean, I’m just Vivek, but there are a lot of us at MIT, so I’m Vivek1412 now. “

“I’m Monica. Monica Bel… I mean Monica Kroy.”

Jetlag. I can’t remember my own name. Back to my maiden name after what my idiot husband did. Monica Kroy was easier and she sounded like a hot chick in a video game dressed in a black latex cat suit. I don’t look like that, but apparently I’m relatively hot for 32, since some young Android programmer told me so the other night at a party in Soma. Nice to know. Wasn’t feeling that way. He was likely very drunk.

A pretty girl in a bold blue sari wanders by. She’s sporting one layer of baby blue azure gauze and three gold stripes across the hem. Perfect for this weather. “Vivek, we’re gonna be late!” She is very beautiful, almost mythic. A goddess.

“Oh no, I forgot. I can’t take you over there, we’re busy doing something, um, wait, almost here … there, look at this map. It’s right opposite the post office, up on Main Street. Do you know where the Kendall T station is? It’s on that street.”

Oh great, that’s where I started. “Yes, actually.”

The goddess is impatient with him.

“Sorry I have to go. We’re getting married,” he says.

“Wow, okay, congratulations,” I said.

I head back out the door. Vivek is dragged off in the other direction by the goddess, but he pivots and points toward the T.

He forgot he was getting married today. Forgot? So all the MIT engineer jokes are for real.

The snow was getting very serious, blowing sideways, but occasionally falling in straight steady lines. I got back to Main Street and asked someone where the post office was, they say right, their friend says left, a girl with them tells me to ignore them and points toward the river. “Next to the flower shop.” It’s the first tip to orientation here. Just like Californians base things on where the Pacific Ocean is, this town is about the Charles River and the Atlantic.

I trudged along, feeling snow bunching up between my boots and socks, melting on my ankles. The streets were fairly empty. No one wanted to be out in this. There’s a nattily dressed guy in a black cashmere coat, double breasted, like a fancy lawyer, looks expensive. Handsome guy, dark skin and short close-cut afro like President Obama. He’s heading my direction. I was trying to read my smartphone again and there was snow falling on the screen. I nearly ran into him.

“That’s not going to work,” he said taking the phone out of my hand and brushing off the snow. “What are you looking for? You look a little lost.” Touch screen in a blizzard. And you have to take your gloves off to use it. Do California designers think about that stuff?

“Got that right,” I said, really sick of being cold and lost. “It’s called 1 Cambridge Center, whatever the hell that is. I can’t believe this place has no street names.”

He laughs. He pointed to a kiosk, not three feet from us with the large letters that read DIRECTORY on top. There’s an actual map behind the glass.

He points to 1 Cambridge Center on the directory map and then points to the building about 10 feet to the left.

“Ever get the feeling, thanks to all these geolocation apps, nobody knows where they’re going anymore?” he asks me.

He was right about that and I laughed, “Yeah!” He smiled a friendly smile. I liked this guy.

“I’m Marshall,” he shook my hand.

“Monica. Thanks,” I said.

“You’re freezing!”

“Palo Alto yesterday. Hard to get used to this kind of thing,” I say.

“Ah, yes. So it’s right in there. See you later, Monica from Palo Alto,” he turned the other direction, then took a quick left into a café called Cosi. I went into the office building.

I’m wondering why he said “later” when I’d likely never see him again. But mostly I’m rushing into a warm building and glad to be there.

It’s hard to start anything from scratch. And this is a cold start for sure. I could walk into a party of entrepreneurs in the Valley and know about half of them. But I was about to enter Celery pretty much cold. I’d have to meet and remember 10 startup ideas and 10 new CEOs at a minimum and their co-founders and their teams. I aimed for remembering three after this first meeting. Unless I write them all down, that’s about all I could hope for with my mixture of jetlag and frostbite. And no team yet. Sonya wouldn’t be there for two weeks and my coders are now likely stuck slaving away for Nick, since I never got a chance to talk to them about joining me.

I took the elevator to the sixth floor, see a sign with the word “CELERY” then head down the corridor to a large conference room with glass along one side and take my seat for the first meeting.

I’m too tired and frozen to be nervous I suddenly realize. The leaders of the program Suzy and Walt, are the only people I’ve met before, just once in California and even these guys aren’t all that close to me. I go up to shake their hands, sit toward the front and we’re ready to begin. There’s an empty seat next to me and after about five minutes, the same guy who gave me directions in front of the building comes in and sits next to me.

“Marshall,” he reminds me and reaches to shake my hand.

“Monica. I guess you said you’d see me later,” I say.

“Yes. I try to say what I mean,” he says.

He pulls out a business card, it has the Dr. Seuss lines on it from Horton. “I meant what I said and I said what I meant, an elephant’s faithful 100%.”

I have to laugh. Suzy and Walter walk to the front.

She’s Samantha Bewitched 1960’s TV housewife pretty. Suzy’s a tall skinny blonde of the country-club-and-equestrian-team-Connecticut type. She even wears her hair in that 60’s style, shoulder-length and curled up at the bottom. I met her at a cocktail party in San Francisco through friends at Y Combinator. She and I had a bet, that a class that’s half men and half women CEOs will be their most successful yet. I’m glad she took me up on the challenge. The bet is dinner at Legal Seafoods at Kendall, which is downstairs and a few blocks away. Just don’t make me try to find it, after the kind of day I’ve been having.

Walter is even taller and skinnier than Suzy. He plays the bass fiddle in a jazz trio and makes that instrument look about the size of a ukulele. He’s a brilliant Ph.D. from MIT in something — I don’t remember — lasers, optics, security? He was a millionaire at 30. Does this for fun now. He actually wears a black beret like a jazz-playing beatnik.

“Welcome Class of Winter 2012. No speeches, let’s just get into it,” he says. “Who’s ready to give me their pitch?”

I heard a slight gut punch of air coming out of most of us. I guess many of us didn’t expect to be pitching our startup ideas for at least a few weeks from now. I have to give my philandering butthead of a husband some credit. It’s something Nick taught me — always be ready to pitch.

Marshall and I both raised our hands at the same time. We looked at one another and laughed.

3

Pitch or Die Trying

“I’m Monica Kroy from BrightLight. The world is all about mobile now. But there’s one big elephant in the room when it comes to mobile. You’re only as mobile as your battery life. Battery life stinks and with each new version of the iPhone or Android, or the iPad or any other tablet, we need more battery not less. We’re solving power source problems for cars. We’re building windmills. We’re going green, but we still haven’t solved power problems for mobile devices. Battery life still keeps us tethered to an outlet and we’ll never really be mobile until we fix that. BrightLight solves that problem.” I wasn’t telling them how it solves it quite yet.

“And do I need to tell you I had to ask three people in Kendall Square for directions and two of them lost battery power as they were trying to load their geo loco apps to help me out?”

I went on a little more, probably too long.

“We need power sources for our mobile phones, but what do we do all day? We run around, so we are nowhere near a convenient power source. We’re more mobile than our devices, until now. BrightLight is a power-generating fabric you can sew into clothing, backpacks, anything you wear or carry, that has micro solar-collectors, which are wired to charge your device as you go about your day. My co-founder and my team’s heading here from California soon.”

Thank God for Sonya, because my “team” was non-existent, thanks to a very quick exit on my part.

I saw someone make a face and I knew it was about using that dirty word “California” in Boston. Note to me: Whatever they say, they hate California here. Don’t mention it. And never say Silicon Valley, ever. I mean, “evah.”

I sat down and Marshall popped up, like we were on a seesaw or something.

“Yo!” he says.

The room is still a bit chatty.

“Yo!” a little louder this time. He commands attention. Quiet now.

“Yo,” he says in a very ghetto voice and then with a charming British accent, “Hell… O!”

People were won over by this goofy opener, by his smile, his presence, by his insistence they should listen to him. Also his excellent tailoring which fit his trim body perfectly.

“I’m Marshall Plum. My company is … “

We waited.

He punched a key on the computer and two very large words appeared on the screen behind him.

“KNOW HOW!” It says.

“Time to change geolocation forever,” he said.

“It’s not about getting there – it’s about HOW you get there.”

He didn’t show any other slides, just the big name of his company. Then he jumped right into it. KnowHow: a contextual app for geolocation. I sure picked the right guy to help me find this place. He was all about maps and what they mean and how to make good choices with them — not just let the GPS babe (Carmen Garmin he calls her) tell you what to do. His app lets you pick routes by context: scenic, fast, cheap, historical, big picture, shortcuts. If you’re taking the scenic route through the mountains or need to get from Vermont to Montreal by the fastest route or cross the border where the guards are easy-going or your crappy car can’t make it up an incline, his app gives you that kind of detail. Traffic overlay, sure, but lots more. Where did he start this project? As a Harvard Ph.D. student in physics. It’s got government and DARPA written all over it. He’s ex-Navy (and ex-CIA I’ll bet) and hails from “the DC area” which I figure means Northern Virginia more likely.

Marshall sat down.

“Thanks for the map reading skills, sailor,” I said. He winks.

We’re going boy girl boy girl in the intro pitches. Next up is another team led by a woman. Women in high tech is a sore subject since there are so few of us. Even for me, it’s so damned weird to be in a room of startups where half were led by women. It’s long overdue. I don’t think I can take one more innovation conference where every speaker is a man with the exception of one woman founder who comes from Asia, who happens to be married to one of the organizers. Promoting this kind of gorgeous exotic woman, via nepotism is apparently okay, but getting plain-talking American women running startups and being heard continues to be a challenge. Not okay with me.

I’m also sick of every startup accelerator program with nine male CEOs from California, except for one fashionista woman from New York who’s pimping a shopping app. Snore. She’s always hot and you get the idea she’s just eye candy for the VCs to check out, when they are sick of looking at male geeks. God forbid they take on a serious woman with a serious idea who might challenge their franchise.

Suzy stood up to introduce Barb. I’d heard about her. She’s a girl-next-door type redhead married to an MIT professor. He’s twenty-five years older than her, gossip has it (sounds familiar), and he’s a Nobel Prize winner. They must have some amazing dinner conversations. Her startup was called EverGrow. The “green team” is the way I’ll remember them. She’s got bright green skinny jeans on and an expensive well-ironed white button-down shirt. Green lace-up Converse basketball sneakers. No jewelry. Big black nerd glasses, likely from Chanel, they are so cool. Great sharp angled bowl-cut red bob haircut. Her team is Chinese — Bing, Bin and Lincoln, all grad students from MIT. EverGrow was a biotech research effort that’s “yielded an environmentally safe resin that allows trees to grow a new superwood that has steel-like strength but bamboo-level flexibility,” she explained, as if you hear about things like that every day. I made a check mark on my score card. Evergrow / Red China / Green Jeans.

After Evergrow comes MortalWarriors. They’re hard to miss.

MortalWarriors was a startup founded by ex-military guys. It’s some sort of video game interface for training new combat troops, which already had some nice funding from InQTel, the CIA venture capital group. Mortal still wants and needs to find big money, like we all do. The warriors of MortalWarriors wear camo fatigues. They have buzz cuts. Today the MW team is in green camo facepaint in splotches.

They brought their whole team and start cranking some music and all three start dancing. It’s Michael Jackson. Actually, wait … it’s Jackson Five. They have a PowerPoint that has three big letters on it: A, B, C! Now they show a slide for each of them: Adam! Bill! Chris! Their CEO Adam literally looks like a GI Joe action figure. He’s just about the most buff, wholesome, shiny clean American-looking Mid-Westerner I’ve ever seen.

“Seriously Caucasian, eh?” I scribble and pass the note to Marshall. He does a long, slow, up and down head nod.

After MortalWarriors danced their way into our hearts, no, more likely our minds, they explained their startup and then they’re off stage in a whirl of male military energy. “Sir! Yes! Sir!” Gaming software for military training.

After the ultra-American soldiers, we went to the Russians, then the Israelis.

The Russians are led by a very pretty woman named “Irina Tovarich.” I jot “Irina Comrade?” in my notebook because it sounds completely made-up. Gotta remember to ask about that. The company was called Slotnik, some kind of slot machine gaming interface to help people manage their finances. Maybe their target market is all new Russian billionaires. And Irina’s the one to deliver the message in a leopard-print mini dress and tall black suede platform pumps.

Slotnik’s CTO was a guy named Slava. He was big and sweet like a bear and has a round face and thick black hair. I wondered if Irina was his wife or something. He was giving her one thumbs up after each sentence she delivered. She looked very nervous, and with the very high-heeled platform shoes she was wearing, it looked as if she might just topple over. The dress was wool, maybe cashmere, very clingy in a good way, showing off her curves. The belt was wide black vinyl with a big buckle, cinched tight, as if to keep her together and keep her from exploding with nervousness. She held onto the buckle like it would save her life.

Next up is CrowdTrial, the Romanian-American team. We’d all been hearing about the many brilliant programmers in Eastern Europe and how Bucharest is the new Bangalore. The team has a CTO named Alex and a senior developer named Alexander, and another developer named Alexandre. Okay, but a little confusing. They went by the names Alex, Alexander and Dan (since his name is Alexandre Daniel Somethingescu.) Conveniently, Alex with the shorter name had very short hair, Alexander with the long name had long hair, Dan fell somewhere in between. All three were very good-looking guys. They explained how they use big data, with social networking and crowdsourcing to develop new ways to conduct clinical trials on medicines and therapies with their advisor, Craig MacDowney, an American guy who was a researcher at Mass General Hospital. They called him Mac.

The French team is supposed to be next, but their CEO had not arrived. Strange. The most important meeting of the session and the guy’s not here. Suzy gets up and explains Jean-Claude is stuck in customs and may be here later. Makes me think of Trey Ratcliff’s killer photo blog, called Stuck in Customs.

“Jean-Claude. He has a unique approach to solving an interesting problem,” she says rather seriously.

Maybe he’s curing cancer, solving world hunger or ending global warming. She went on and on about how great the missing-in-action Jean-Claude Longrée was. I asked Marshall what he knew about the French guy.

He showed me the results of a Google search and a picture of him.

“He’s hot,” he told me in a whisper.

Yeah, I could see that. Looks arrogant.

We moved on to the Israelis.

PatientPal was the Israeli team. They had a male CTO, Solly and a female CEO, Johanna. He started feeding her lines like she’s an understudy actress for the leading role and had only just arrived on stage.

Suzy made an exasperated expression, then interrupted.

“I know certain teams did a shuffle to make sure they had a woman CEO because that might help them get into Celery this year. It’s no big secret. But here’s the deal, guys. If she’s the CEO, she’s the CEO, not you, so let her be that. I don’t want any male CTOs running the company and turning their woman CEO into a figurehead, or just a puppet. Forget it. I still have a list of startups that want to get into the program and I can replace you. So Solly, you can sit down and let Johanna finish. I’m sure she’s more than capable.”

Solly looked a little crumpled and sat at the end of the first row. Johanna stood even taller and already looked about 100 percent happier to be free of him. This will be an interesting team to watch. Their product is “PatientPal” something for hospitals that keep patient records secure in the cloud, with security and redundancy software as well as a payment system that sounds a lot like PayPal. It ran on mobile devices and was actually way further along than the rest of us. It was built, working and they had … customers!

PortMoney was the next team. Named after a spin on the French word, “porte monaille” which meant “wallet” and the idea of it being portable. I think instantly, who’s going to get the French word? Nobody. This is America. Nobody speaks French. Nobody speaks any other languages, except Spanish. I only happen to speak French because I did a junior year abroad program there in Grenoble.

PortMoney was run by a pushy girl named Victoria from New York. I’m wondering why they didn’t wait to apply to the New York Celery program that starts later in the spring. You can see she’s pitching her biz to the guys in the room. At one point I catch her eye, I smile, she doesn’t smile back, but rushes on to talk in a flirty stupid way about her digital wallet app. “Yes, guys, I want to get into your pants and slip that leather wallet out of your back pocket, and put PortMoney in it’s place. You can trust me.”

I wrote a note to Marshall, “Didn’t Jack Dorsey already kill the payment space with Square?”

He tilted his head in a gesture like “you bet.”

Don’t forget the Aussies and XStream. They had a sports app to share and track extreme sports results, which they claimed was just so much better than RunKeeper or Gympact or a million other sports mobile apps. Their CEO was an adorable guy who would rather be jumping off cliffs with any variety of glider, wings, parachute. He was wearing a rock climbing helmet and harness, carrying one of those big ropes. His name was Chris Mooney. I wrote the “XStream / Chris Mooney/ Aussie Hunk” in my notes.

“Always handy to look like Hugh Jackman,” Marshall said to me quietly.

I agreed and rolled my eyes a bit. Didn’t seem fair to have to compete with someone like that.

We were winding down and they were going to serve us dinner in the main room, when the French guy Jean-Claude actually arrives from the airport.

“Nice of him to bother joining us,” I said to Marshall.

He was dressed in a black leather kimono-type coat and skin tight black leather jeans with a long studded chain from belt to a D ring above his knee. And you could tell, the stuff he was wearing was really expensive and looked amazing. He had a Louis Vuitton duffle. He was tall, very thin, with dark brown sleek hair pulled back into a ponytail, bangs in his eyes, and big black sunglasses at night. He carried it off, like someone just threw the clothes on him but he’d also be fine in a crappy tee shirt and jeans. Marshall leans over.

“Runway model in Paris before this,” he explained, like this is what all geeks did before starting companies.

I don’t like him. Looked just like that guy in the Chanel ad. What’s that eau de cologne by Chanel? Oh yeah, Égoïste!

“No way,” I said.

“Yes way, Suzy’s assistant, Roan, told me and he knows fashion.”

Things were seriously upside down. So there was a style and fashion startup in this group, but not run by a woman. It was run by a guy.

Jean-Claude did his pitch. Not too much of an accent. For a guy who looked so cool, he wore a big sweet smile, which was not the usual expression of boredom and ennui guys like him often wear. His app let designers geolocate, buy and sell fabric from distributors all over the world, but especially in France, Italy, the UK and China. It’s an arbitrage system for silk, wool, cotton and leather. The app was up and running, with customers. It was very beautiful. It was already in English, French, Spanish, Italian and Chinese. He called it BSpoken4.

Jean-Claude talked about his company and also about the volunteer stuff his team did to help improve conditions for workers in factories in Asia. This guy was too cool for school. I might like him, if I didn’t dislike him so much. I know there must be a word for cocky in French; I just don’t remember what it is. After his presentation, he sits down across the room; Suzy starts talking about our pitching talents.

I scribble to Marshall. “And his boyfriend is Karl Lagerfeld?”

Marshall giggles, “Nah, he’s straight and married to a woman, but he does know Lagerfeld.”

“How do you know that?”

“The gay part or the Lagerfeld part? Honey, you understand that’s my tribe, right?”

“Marshall, I kinda thought you might be gay.”

“Not kinda, more like totally. So my gay-dar is finely tuned. I met him and his wife at LeWeb in Paris last month anyway, when Lagerfeld spoke. She’s from Bangladesh.”

“You don’t know Löic Le Meur, do you?”

“Honey, everybody who’s cool knows Löic,” he said and looked at me like this was obvious, “and I love Geraldine.”

I turned to check out fashion boy and he turned toward me, as if he could feel me looking. He looked directly at me, then burst into that big smile, like a big puppy dog, surprisingly sweet.

He raises one eyebrow at me, as if to say, “What are you looking at, lady?”

Zing!

I looked away.

4

Boys Are Back In Town

Winter in New England is best left glued on Christmas cards with cheesy little glitter for snow, one horse here and one horse there with their open sleighs dashing toward Grandmother’s house. They can just keep it. You couldn’t help wondering, how do people even do business here? There’s no running to the corner to grab coffee easily in this weather. Casual encounters like you had in Silicon Valley on a regular basis required a dog sled team around here.

After a few days in Boston, I was already sick of the freezing weather. Glad I liked hats. I found one in the local Nordstrom that looked more Russian than the Russians’ furry flap hats.

I’d been lucky as hell about finding an apartment. An old friend who was going to grad school at MIT was getting married and moving in with her fiancé, so she let me have her apartment in Porter Square near the T station for the next six months. The dash between the T and my place was 8.5 minutes if you ran at top speed to avoid the weather. After being in a hotel for too many days, it was good to spend the weekend unpacking and getting settled in. Finally, on Friday of the second week, the blessed day of January 18, Sonya arrived. Thank God.

I don’t think anyone at Google expected her to quit. Surprise! I put her up at my place for a few weeks until we had a chance to go look for another apartment for her. I didn’t like living with anyone I worked with, but was willing to do this for her for a while. We spent the weekend “slushing around” as Sonya called it. Sh

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Telegraph Hill

by John F. Nardizzi

4.7 stars – 14 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

Private detective Ray Infantino is searching for a missing girl named Tania. The case takes him to San Francisco, the city he abandoned years ago after his fiance was killed. Thrust into his old city haunts, Ray finds that Tania may not be lost at all. Tania saw a murder; and a criminal gang, the Black Fist Triad, wants to make sure she never sees anything again.

Ray enlists help from an old flame, Dominique, but now he has three women on his mind. Meeting with various witnesses—ex-cops, prostitutes, skinheads—he relentlessly tracks the evidence. But the hunt for Tania fires his obsession with avenging the murder of his fiance. When the triad retaliates, and blood begins to flow, Ray must walk the knife edge between revenge and redemption on the streets of San Francisco.

Praise for Telegraph Hill:

“…Just when you thought there was no more room for another lawyer/crime writer, BOOM – a terrific surprise…”

“…well-drawn characters, a plot which moves right along, intimate portrayals of Boston and San Francisco…the prose is thoughtful and poetic…”

an excerpt from

Telegraph Hill

by John F. Nardizzi

Chapter 1

As night slouched on, the flesh and drug trade simmered at the intersection of Turk and Jones. Johnny Cho smoked a cigarette on the fire escape of the Senator Hotel. Johnny could have afforded a better room than the Senator; he was now earning huge sums of cash. Saving like only an immigrant can save, scraping money from every hungry minute.

Two men watched him from the shadows of the alley. They turned away and walked to Eddy Street, waiting for the call. One man tapped his jacket. Ready for the wet work. The men turned left on Leavenworth Street.

Johnny glanced at his watch: 10:33 PM. Across the street, graffiti on a brick wall—‘Plastic people are cute.’ He didn’t understand the reference. Bodies lurched on the sidewalk, glowing in the neon lights of porn shops—crack whores, johns, dealers, trannies, junkies. Some didn’t move at all, sprawled on greasy sidewalks.

His triad owned these sidewalks. They operated three massage parlors in the city’s Tenderloin district: Crystal Massage, The Golden Lotus, and Tokyo Spa. All were fronts for prostitution. The world’s oldest profession had a centuries-old lineage in the city. If not exactly accepted, the profession at least had carved out a certain measure of grungy respect. The massage parlors operated openly, signs beckoning over restaurants, ads in local papers. They generated substantial fees on their own, but as cash businesses, their value as money makers paled in comparison to their main function: laundering a steady torrent of drug money. And because of the triad’s interest in developing new cash businesses, the massage parlors were earning him a very respectable living.

Johnny had left Hong Kong with a group of refugees when he was fourteen. They drifted for weeks across the Pacific on a chunk of rotten wood someone had the balls to call a boat. Eight dead bodies later, he made it to Los Angeles. Since then, he had come a long way from washing dishes in grubby Chinatown restaurants. First, a runner for the numbers, a trusted doorman. Then bigger assignments—jobs issued with a whisper, or on a dirty slip of paper, coded, you never knew the whole deal. Follow the man to see which apartment he enters at 10:30 PM. Get the address of the girl with the purple hat who works at the bank.

Then came other tasks, things he didn’t talk about.

The feuding bosses of the major triads had met earlier that day, twenty-four men in total: bosses, favored lieutenants, and bodyguards hiding behind sunglasses. They talked over a long lunch at a big downtown hotel, ordering dim sum and cold beer, posturing and blowing cigarette smoke at each other. Johnny found the negotiations tiresome. He wanted some time away. A bit of a risk coming to the Senator Hotel with the girls—he usually went to one of the triad houses. But he did not want to be disturbed tonight, and he would have been recognized at the Lotus. He was not in the mood to listen to complaints. So, the Senator Hotel had been pressed into service once again. He’d dine alone too, if he could help it. Tomorrow promised another day of endless meetings.

He watched the street action, reaching absentmindedly for another cigarette. He was out. Where was the girl? She had gone inside over five minutes ago—still no smokes.

He heard a click in the alley. He looked down and saw a wooden door open into the passageway. The cement walkway gleamed, slick from an earlier rain. Two men slid inside. They walked past trash barrels into the shadows.

Johnny stared. One of the men looked up, and met his eye. The man muttered something. Then the men crouched and sprang toward the rear of the building.

Johnny shivered a bit, a spade dragging across cold stones. One of the men reached the iron fire escape. Hunching low, he took two steps at a time.

Johnny didn’t like this at all. Reached down and felt a sickness in his gut—the snub .38 was in his jacket.

He sprang back from the edge of the railing and moved toward the battered steel door. He yanked the door handle—it was locked. He smashed his fist on the door, jammed his face near the small square window. One of the girls looked up, startled. He saw the other girl, the blond, packing her bag near the bathroom. For a second, his eyes met those of the blond, and he drew in her frightened complicity. Fucking whore—she set him up! He watched as she turned away, shouting something to the other girl.

Bracing against the rail, Johnny slammed his shoulder against the door. Nothing—the steel door was immovable.

The sudden heightening of senses, the pungent smell of cement and rain.

Footsteps clanged on the black iron of the fire escape. Johnny turned toward the stairwell—climb to the roof, maybe crawl up somehow. He took two steps, curling over the railing.

They were already in range.

He heard a popping sound from below, and his ribcage shuddered. And again. He tried to breathe past the pain lancing his chest. Chinese voices, and another voice, unidentifiable. Cold on his cheek, and he knew he was down on the ironwork. Something like boiling soup poured on his stomach. He felt some leathery thing brush his face, and then a whooshing of wings peeling away across a vast black canyon.

Chapter 2

Ray Infantino strode along the red brick sidewalks of Beacon Hill in Boston. Old elms shaded the stately row houses, set close to the narrow streets and bordered with iron gates and granite steps. Small gardens exploded with color—foxglove, bleeding heart, purple cone flowers spilling over the brick. Across the street, a group of tourists fired madly away with their cameras at a particularly well-preserved brick mansion. One of those lush days in a fast and furious New England summer—it made the existence of winter seem an impossibility.

For the upcoming meeting, Ray dressed in a navy blue suit with a cobalt shirt and patterned gold tie. He avoided button-down collars, a sign of epic repression.

He knew that he would be scrutinized by one of Boston’s best criminal defense lawyers, Lucas Michaels. Lucas had invited him to his home office, where he was working for the day. Lawyers like Lucas often had ambivalent relationships with investigators. Investigators could be a problem. They needed to be roped in all too often. Too many cowboys telling war stories from back in the day when their cocks got stiff without help from a little blue pill.

Ray rang at the door of a three-story Victorian row house topped with a copper dome that had faded to a green patina. The golden dome of the state house peeked over the hill a few blocks away. He brushed back a wave of unruly black hair, and pulled the suit jacket over his spare boxer’s physique.

He rang again and heard a buzzing sound. The door clicked open, and Ray stepped into a foyer painted a brilliant white. A thin man in his sixties walked toward him.

“Lucas Michaels,” the man said, extending his hand. “Thanks for coming over so soon, Ray.” Lucas wore a faded blue polo shirt over tan slacks. His face was all sharp angles, topped by a crisply cut hedge of white hair. He looked fit and rested.

Although lawyers were often guilty for lauding each other with bloated reviews, Lucas’s reputation as one of the top defense lawyers in the city was legitimate. His fame had not come easily. After working on the West Coast as a young lawyer, he had returned home to Boston and worked unheralded for many years as court–appointed counsel for indigent defendants. In 1963, he undertook the defense of the Scollay Slasher in a murder trial with national coverage. The defendant had murdered seven women in back alleys of the decaying Scollay Square section of Boston. He was acquitted after Lucas’s brutal cross-examination of two witnesses exposed major flaws in the police investigation. He had never looked back, regularly defending the city’s most hated and controversial figures. His reputation grew, one of thoroughness, a solid, if unspectacular, intelligence. And a certain ruthlessness. He seemed to enjoy eviscerating witnesses on the witness stand, even those he did not suspect were lying; he enjoyed it just a bit more than even the bruising standards of his profession allowed.“A feared elder statesman of the Boston defense bar,” a mutual friend, Paul Artemis, had said of Lucas before arranging the meeting with Ray. “A real prick.”

Ray knew that elder statesmen of the bar were often late payers. He’d make certain to get a retainer.

Lucas led Ray through the living room filled with dark, ornate furniture, and into an informal brick-walled study. Books of literature and law lined the walls. A white oak bar filled one side of the study. The two men sat down in overstuffed leather chairs. The smell of cigar smoke filled the air.

“I’ve heard a lot about you over the years,“ Lucas said. “Paul Artemis at Boswell & Giles spoke well of you. Said you were an uncommon talent.”

Ray nodded in recognition of Artemis’s name. “We did some work together on a civil rights case against the White Aryan Nation.”

“Paul said you have a talent for finding and handling witnesses. This might be the right case for that talent.”

Ray tried to think of which investigator Lucas had worked with on past cases, but he drew a blank.

“Tell me more of your background,” Lucas said. “How did you come to work in the PI field?”

“While in law school, I started working one summer for the Southern Law Project as an investigator,” said Ray. “I developed a strategy for placing undercover operatives in hate groups. Based on some of the evidence we developed, the Law Center filed a civil RICO case and was able to seize the Aryan Knights’ assets. Even the Aryan Knights name was turned over. They can’t use the name anymore without infringing a trademark.”

Lucas nodded. “That must have infuriated them. Sounds interesting. Those are some rough people.”

“Rough,” agreed Ray, fading out and thinking of the Project. He forced himself to think of the meeting, letting his thoughts of the Project diffuse in the air. Ignore it. “A few years later, I went out on my own. I specialize in interviewing witnesses, handling the fact-finding on complex cases,” he concluded.

“Well, I hope you can assist me,” Lucas said. “I have a client with a personal issue involving a young member of the family.” Lucas stood up, walked behind the bar, and bent down to open a small refrigerator. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Water is fine, thanks.” Lucas returned with two miniature bottles of water, some fancy imported stuff with a label crowing about gelid springs and eternal life. Ray sipped his water, and waited.

Lucas shifted in his seat and made himself comfortable. “The client is a Chinese family who I have represented for many years in business matters. They are based in Hong Kong. They asked me to assist in locating a missing family member, a woman named Tania Kong. Her sister is the one who is leading this inquiry.”

“Tania is of Chinese-Thai descent. She was always the black sheep of the family. She had a difficult childhood. Her natural mother died when she was a young child. Her father remarried a few years later. That unfortunate series of events brings us here.”

Lucas paused and sipped his water. “Growing up, Tania was rebellious, depressed. She never got along with her stepmother.” He shrugged and opened his hands. “The usual fairy tale. Tania was raised by her father in Hong Kong. The family fell on rough times when he passed away after being fatally injured in an auto accident. Tania was devastated by her father’s death. As I said, her relationship with her stepmother was never warm. At age eighteen, she left the family compound and was living on her own.”

Ray noticed that Lucas spoke in a formal, literary manner that, while probably appealing in court, could be off-putting in casual conversation. He was surprised by this habit, given Lucas dealt with criminal dregs. He forced himself to focus.

“A few years ago, after moving to San Francisco, she disappeared,” said Lucas. He sat back in his chair. “The client is only now pursuing this. They tried to reach her every now and then, but she seems to have just dropped off the face of the earth.”

“Does the family know of any friends in California?” asked Ray.

“None that we know. We have no address, no telephone number. This is why I called you. There is very little to go on. Nothing really.” He leaned forward. “Do you think you can assist in finding her?”

“Absolutely. There are things that can be done, local city records, courts, that type of thing. Interviews with people—“

Lucas interrupted, “That brings me to the next point: the client is a prominent family in Hong Kong. Various businesses, restaurants, nightclubs. Real estate on both U.S. coasts. They don’t want to be on page one with a story about their wayward little girl. That is a major concern. Avoid the paparazzi. They simply want to find her and make sure she is all right.”

“I understand. Do you have a photo of Tania?”

“Not yet, but I will have the client provide one. The photos will be a bit dated, obviously.”

“And you say the family does not have even a last known address in the city?” asked Ray. “Maybe I can speak with the family just to confirm that they have no information.”

“Certainly,” Lucas said. “The client has told me they have no information about where she may have lived in San Francisco. She never corresponded with them while she was there. Not by mail or telephone. She was reclusive.”

“So there really is not much to go on.”

“Not much at all.”

Ray nodded, rubbed his chin. Find the missing girl. Easy enough, usually.

“I know you cannot give guarantees,” continued Lucas, “but approximately how long do you think before you can begin to see some results?”

“I would give it at least a few weeks, but can’t be certain at this point,” Ray replied. “I’ll run her name and date of birth just to see if something obvious pops up in the databases. Although I doubt that, based on what you said about a previous investigator not finding her. I can be in San Francisco by Tuesday. This will probably require some lengthy public records research there. I’ll need a retainer before I travel.”

“That will not be an issue. What are your fees?”

“$195.00 per hour. Plus expenses.”

“You charge more than most investigators,” said Lucas.

“I get results. Usually anyway. This is a humbling business. I stay in good hotels, nothing ridiculous though. Travel time is billed; half this job is waiting for the golden moment.”

“I understand,” Lucas said, nodding. “I’ve taken clients to court to show them why I had to sit in a hallway while a judge conducts a motions hearing. But your fees will not be a problem. The client wants your best efforts and they expect to pay for it.”

“I’ll send over an engagement letter,” said Ray. “I think a $10,000 retainer should be fine to start.”

Ray handed Lucas a card. “I’ll wait to see the photo before I make any plans. As I mentioned, any personal identifiers such as a date of birth or even a green card number, that would be helpful too.”

“Yes, thanks for reminding me. I’ll check on both points.”

Lucas sat down at an antique desk in a corner of the room, where he jotted down some notes. Ray admired the oak wainscoting, honey colored and smooth. Lucas finished writing and stood up. He reached out his hand to Ray. “This client expects superior results. They always do. And that is why I called you. This type of case is probably routine for you.”

Ray nodded. “It’s routine—until it’s not.” He smiled. It was tempting, but he wasn’t about to promise anything. Lucas stared at him for a moment, and then a tight smile crossed his face. “I look forward to working with you,” he said. The men shook hands, and Ray walked toward the door.

Ray walked down the granite stairs and headed toward Beacon Street. He cut through the Public Gardens. Stands of willows arched over the swan boats as college kids paddled languidly through the dark green water. He strolled past expensive bistros and shops on Newbury Street, and walked into the brassy dusk of the Capitol Grill steakhouse. The show was on: the glasses sparkled, the bartender mixed drinks in a lunchtime fury, a busty waitress let select customers look down her blouse a little bit. He sat down in a window seat and ordered a rare steak with French fries.

The meal came and Ray dug into the steak. He would have to thank Paul Artemis for referring him to Lucas. Personal recommendations were the touchstone on which the private world of lawyers relied. It would be a good case—defined as a riddle wrapped in a puzzle situated in an interesting locale. And backed with a sufficient budget. And while he was in California, he would personally undertake work on the Project, perform the necessary pruning. It was long overdue. This would be his first trip to the city in five years.

Ray delved into the delicious rare slab of beef and watched the antics of the lunch crowd. Then he paid the bill and headed back to work.

* * *

Lucas watched as Ray headed down the street. He had not expected a cowboy, and he was pleased. He had heard a story from a colleague about this man. The trial lawyer had asked Infantino on the witness stand what he did for a living; Infantino had replied that he looked into people’s eyes to tell if they were lying. Laughs all around, and the jury loved it. Lucas suspected Infantino was only partly joking. Lucas knew what his client wanted: someone who had yet to rot in the suburbs, someone not easily denied. This was the guy.

He called California from a disposable phone he used for three months and then tossed. The line was picked up.

“Our investigator will be out there next week.”

“Who is he?

“Ray Infantino. Highly recommended for this sort of matter. Once he finishes his work, make sure you finish yours.”

Chapter 3

At Hunan House Restaurant in San Francisco’s Chinatown, Tamo sat back in his chair. The forty year old Shanghai native had a crude bulk that made other men step back despite his lack of height. An assortment of scars and cuts on his hands and neck were living mementos of a highly evolved violent streak. Tamo finished the last call and jammed the cell phone in his pocket. Damn thing was overheating. He picked at his dinner of spicy shrimp.

The message came two hours before, and it was very clear: The bosses wanted the whore. And they wanted her now. She was a witness who saw something downtown and got out of the building before the job was done. Cops had picked her up, interviewed her. They couldn’t take any chances.

He filtered a slightly different version into the flinty night. The long reach of the Black Fist Triad came into play: photos passed, descriptions detailed, names and addresses reviewed. Kids selling newspapers on Kearny, the night clerk at the liquor store, bartenders, club kids, truck drivers, anyone of them could make an easy grand for a positive ID on the girl. She had taken something—speculation was money, but no one was certain—taken something that was not hers to take. That was the story. No one asked whose money, and no one asked how much. People seemed sensitive to the vibration. The Triad was calling for justice for one of their own. When a tiger gets angry, the grass gets trampled. No one wanted to be the grass.

Tamo now had over seventy men sitting on her apartment. The young bloods loved stakeouts. This was the private eye shit they saw in the movies. How good some of the kids were at surveillance, though, was open for evaluation. But what some of them lacked in experience, they made up in sheer numbers—that was why he had fourteen cars out there. The men parked at staggered points around the block. Four or five guys to a car, meandering around the neighborhood.

He had three cars on Larkin Street, which had sunk into its customary vileness by 11:00 PM. Solitary men in hoodies dealt meth in the shadows of withered trees dying on the sidewalk. Suburban addicts drove around the block, nervous but desperate, risking it all for a one hour high. Tranny hookers perched on street corners. A steady trail of cars rolled by with young guys ogling the tits and ass. A few Triad soldiers razzed a Latina tranny in red heels with enormous fake breasts bursting through her blouse. “Ass-smellin’ bitches!” she hissed. Billy didn’t take that shit from no man in a dress. He tried to get out of the back seat to bash her skull. The crew held him back, laughing crazily, high fives all around. The tranny stalked up Post Street. The men returned to watching the apartment.

Tamo left the restaurant and had a beer at an underground card game near Stockton. So many tunnels had been dug in the basement that no one was sure anymore which building they were sitting beneath. By 1:00 AM, he was thoroughly pissed at the lack of news. He worked the cell again. He ordered dozens more soldiers into the Tenderloin, North Beach and Telegraph Hill, the bars near the Marina, downtown, SOMA, the Mission. The soldiers walked all night long, a scanned photo from some years back jammed in a pocket; others sat in cars watching the clubs empty out and compared faces to a photo set on the dashboard. Not perfect, but better than nothing. They scoured Chinatown and Nob Hill, driving slowly and ripping the streets with eyeballs. They drove up and down Broadway staring at any girl who fit the profile: Chinese, early 20s, pretty eyes, face as seen in the picture.

No sign of Tania by the next morning. Another hour. No word by noon. Tamo smacked the table—how the hell do six hundred men not find this girl walking the streets? He made more phone calls, burning through the anger with sheer activity.

“Get everyone out there. Roll out every dickweed by the carload!” All they wanted was one little whore.

Chapter 4

The sun was shining and joggers crowded the crumbling paths on the banks of the Charles River. Ray headed to his office in Cambridge, located on the top floor of a 18th century brick building near Harvard Square. Harvard College had been founded in 1756,the nation’s first men’s college. As the college’s elite reputation spread, the neighborhood outside its red brick walls grew with it. Some people thought the neighborhood had grown too much and lost its distinct flavor; it now resembled any other urban center. Ray strode past the few funky cafes and bookstores that refused to be shouldered aside as national retailers moved in, undaunted by rising rents. A crew of young punks at the subway station kept a wary eye on the upward mobility of the Square.

Ray walked into his office. Bookcases lined the crimson walls. A Fiji mask hung near the door, grinning a razor smile, a crazed god watching over some forgotten crevice of the universe. His receptionist and editor, Sheri Haynes, sat at her desk in a sunny corner.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Hello Ray.” She stopped editing a report and looked up. “Nice shirt. Love that color.”

“A question for you. The guy at Brooks said this color is mauve.” He pulled at his shirt. “I say lavender.”

“It’s lavender, Ray. He’s color blind.”

“We agree on something.” Ray poured a cup of black coffee, and sat down.

“That attorney overnighted the retainer,” said Sheri. “For the case in California.”

Glancing out the window at the street, Ray saw a man wearing a T-shirt, shorts, and sneakers with black dress socks cross Massachusetts Avenue. The man, probably a professor, soon disappeared behind the brick wall of Harvard Yard. Ray shook his head in disgust—denizens of Harvard had a polluted sense of style.

He turned to a tidy pile of mail on his desk and opened a letter from Lucas Michaels. It contained a check written out for ten thousand dollars and two photos of Tania. A brief note listed Tania’s date of birth and Social Security Number.

He looked closely at the photos. One was a close-up of an Asian woman with long black hair combed back and parted in the middle. Her skin was tan, darker than most Chinese, leavened as it was with Thai blood. Her eyes were set just a bit too close, so that she was bumped from the ranks of the beautiful into the merely intriguing— a far better category, in Ray’s opinion. Her face radiated an inquisitive intelligence. The second photo showed her thoughtful, unsmiling, holding her awkward teenage body slightly toward the camera. She was dressed in jeans with a white shirt that just showed a sliver of stomach. A note stated that the first photo was taken when Tania was twenty years old, while the second was taken when Tania was seventeen years old.

Ray turned to his computer and ran Tania’s name and birth date through several locator databases. The databases were built on information from credit applications, phone records, real estate transactions, licensing records—the citizenry of the United States reduced to its essential numbers and sequences. Tania did not come up in any database. Ray guessed that she was using cash, flying low to avoid the radar.

He looked down at his calendar, checking the schedule. No pressing meetings for the next few days. He worked mostly for lawyers, narrowly intelligent men who still wore suits on Fridays and tried to look older than they were. Serious faces for serious business. On their behalf he undertook the messy work of facts, of witnesses with criminal convictions and flawed memories. The thousand nicks and scars that make a human.

They asked him to interview witnesses. They asked him to put people under surveillance. He had a modest army of surveillance operatives. Rich clients especially loved that aspect of investigations: a transitory omnipresence, watching your opponent’s daily rituals. They called on weekends, demanding constant updates. They wanted descriptions, auto makes, shoe sizes, and facial details. They wanted the name of the awesome blond. He once had a client in California who had requested that Ray keep an enemy under surveillance around the clock for two years. There was a beauty to such demented pursuits.

He decided he would waste no more time in Boston. His personality was geared to projects, numbered lists. Check them off and the day is done. He devoted time to it, the detailed tasks in a notebook, the required follow-up. And now he had two projects in California.

“Sheri, will you take this to the bank now?” He handed her the check. “I’m heading west.”

“You’re off where?” she asked, coming to him and taking the check.

“San Francisco.”

Sheri stared at him. “Are you working on Cherry yourself?”

“Partly,” said Ray. “The check covers other work actually.”

She paused, an odd look on her face. “You ready to jump back into that?”

“San Francisco is where I have to go. The path to a molten ending is made of a thousand cold steps.”

Sheri adjusted her glasses. “What’s that from? Faulkner?”

“That’s from me,” said Ray. Then he flicked on the computer and booked a flight to San Francisco.

Chapter 5

Head low, Tania skittered through the narrow, sun-blasted alley. It looked too open, a concrete shooting gallery. This place always made her nervous. But she had to get off Market Street. The wind ripped down from Twin Peaks, blowing newspapers against her leg.

She pulled her hoodie close to her face. She looked like a homeless wreck, a huge ratty sweatshirt, old sneakers. She should cut off her long hair—too noticeable.

Her friend lived in a gray house with a heavy steel door. She looked toward Mission and back to Market. No one was following. She took the key, opened the door and slipped inside. The door clanged shut behind her and she breathed out audibly.

In the hours after the murder, she had been out of her mind with fear. She had left the hotel running but a cop stopped her after he saw her leaving the front gate. She sat in the car, and he took her downtown. As the cruiser pulled away, they were watching, three of them, staring at her through the glass. She told the cops nothing and got out few hours later, but the damage was done. She had survived the shooting and now they thought she was a snitch. A death sentence two times over.

They would shoot her ten, twenty times, right in the neck and face. The girls called these kids the walking dead, because despite their youth, they harbored no hope, no feelings. The whole thing involved a different breed now, these kids, they planned nothing and just reacted, cyclone spasms of mayhem. Pulled from typhoid slums in China, they only wanted to live large for a few crazed years and then die like men. The triad promised them a life where both desires would be fulfilled.

She had eaten almost nothing for days. She would shape shift and let hunger carve her appearance into something new, unrecognizable. She couldn’t eat anyway. Every goddamn guy that came near her.

She remembered one story of a triad member who shot a guy from a motorcycle. He wasn’t sure if his mission was complete. That was the word the kids used—they went on missions. The guy stopped a motor bike in front of a crowd of people. Revved the engine and sent smoke into the crowd. Then he walked over to the kid lying on the street, bent down, and emptied the gun into his face. This was who they were sending after her.

The night the men had stormed the hotel, two of them charging up the fire escape, they put a dozen bullets in her friend’s back. Jesus, the way one guy came in, calmly, methodically, like he was coming to fix the sink. Then he just unloaded everything at Cindy, the booming shots in the hallway, total chaos.

She panicked and ran for her life. The sight of a girl running down the street half-naked did not arouse undue suspicion in San Francisco. She made it into some night club, just to get off the street. She had no money—Johnny got shot before he paid her. The club turned out to be some sort of S&M club. There were different floors with chains drilled into the walls and wood contraptions that looked like torture devices from a distant Spanish century. The lighting was dim, red, surreal. Smells of cigarette smoke, sweaty bodies, a desperate kind of lust in the air. Tomorrow, no one would remember she had been here; this was a place that erased memories.

She walked through the cavernous club for the entire night, just killing time. At 4:30 AM, the place was dying down a bit. She found a huge hole in a wall, some abandoned expansion project, downstairs in the basement. She slipped inside and cried herself to sleep. The club closed and no one bothered her.

She woke up the next day, and slipped out the rear door while a beer truck unloaded. She was starving. Her teeth felt nasty. She needed a shower.

She stopped by a store on the corner of Mission. Inside the grocery, an Asian kid alternated between reading a magazine and staring at her. Too long, she thought. Heart hammering her ribs. She paid for a candy bar and an iced tea, then walked outside, half-expecting the last view of her life would be the battered yellow doorjamb of this little store.

Her foot hit the pavement. The second she was clear of the door, she started running.

Chapter 6

Ray chatted with an Ohio housewife sitting next to him on the plane. “That must be interesting,” she remarked upon learning he was an investigator. Everyone said that. Sometimes, sometimes not. Ray didn’t want to repeat any war stories, and grew quiet after the pretzels arrived. He watched the tiny houses below as the plane began its slow descent into San Francisco International Airport. Red salt ponds lined the coast to the south, while the city of San Francisco lay to the north.

San Francisco, California. Where you went when no one on the East Coast was talking to you anymore. You traversed the country on a personal gold rush to show parents, childhood tormentors—everyone you ever knew— that something rare boiled inside you. An accident of geography lifted San Francisco into the ranks of sublimely beautiful cities. Sharply etched hills—Telegraph Hill, Russian Hill, Nob Hill—offered sudden vistas of the blue Pacific, which drew the day to a close with a foggy gray curtain. San Francisco was rich, seductive, insatiable, demanding, and even after you saw her grimy face and wasted ways, you loved her like a woman—the endless promise of California.

Ray expected to interview numerous people over the next few days. He had rented Detroit spawn. A Cadillac: big, American, faintly ridiculous. He liked pulling up to witnesses in a Caddy. Americans had been raised on mob movies, and instinctively associated the Caddy with power, ruin, conspiratorial afternoons in villa gardens. Something like that.

After clearing the airport, Ray headed up Highway 280, taking signs for the Port of San Francisco. The traffic flowed and weaved as he arrived at 6th Street. He headed east toward the waterfront. He arrived at the Embarcadero, where palm trees graced the median and a pale strip of glass brick lined the sidewalk. The Bay Bridge soared over the bay, straddling the twin cities of Oakland and San Francisco.

He turned right on Broadway, racing past the strip joints and restaurants, zigzagged his way on the small side street just before the tunnel, then left on Mason over Nob Hill. It felt good remembering all the old shortcuts. Ray parked and walked a few blocks to pick up a cheese steak sandwich. Then he headed toward the criminal courts. He had decided he would check the dockets first to see if Tania had caught a case.

In every county seat in the United States, a vast public record exists in the form of court cases, all indexed by last name. On the civil side, the records contain a history of the grievances, complaints and assorted ailments that plagued a society. And on the criminal side, courts maintain historical dockets of deviance and sick behavior, a blueprint of the lives of society’s incorrigibles.

Ray was dressed for court in dress pants, a dark blue shirt with a tan jacket. He drove South of Market to the Hall of Justice. Nine stories tall, and built like a bomb shelter, it was nerve center of law enforcement in the city of San Francisco. He walked through the metal detector, strolling past predators prowling the tiled hallways: rapists, murderers, district attorneys. The tiles made it easy to scrub off the accumulated filth. The rough banter of probation officers, lead-eyed felons, and thick-handed cops. The veteran cops and criminals had an easy familiarity with the place, comfortable in each other’s presence. They understood that they needed each other. They had spent time together in the past, and would likely do so again.

For others, fear and rage clung palpably to the walls here, lives determined in small courtrooms with swinging doors. Signs in English and Spanish on the wall:

Do Not Chew Gum In Court. Weapons Are Not Allowed In The Courtroom.

Conversations boomed and echoed in the hallway so that privacy was something you left at home, for other buildings, other times, a luxury the rich enjoyed in carpeted homes with solid wood doors. An odd sense of racial peace reigned, for this was a place for the democratic poor—black, white, brown, it didn’t matter. One look around confirmed that the jaws of justice chewed meat in all flavors.

Ray walked over to a clerk at the service desk, an attractive Latina in her forties. She was entombed in a bulletproof glass cubicle. He had to shout through a narrow slit to make himself understood. The clerk had dark eyes, and a bosom barely constrained in a light green suit. She got away with it; her curvy nerve got her through.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“I’d like to check a name for any cases going back to the 1980’s.” He jotted down Tania’s name and birth date on a sheet of paper.

The clerk checked the alphabetized index on her computer for Kong and printed out the results: one case from 1997. Ray filled out an order form and requested the case file. The clerk disappeared behind some rolling file cabinets. After a few minutes, she returned with the file.

“I like your jacket,” said Ray.

“Thanks,” the clerk handed him the file, smiling. “No fear of a full color palette.”

She laughed. “I like to spice it up in here.” She rapped the Plexiglas with her knuckles. “Place is decorated like a penitentiary.” She handed him the file. “Here you go. Let me know if you need copies,” she said.

He was feeling better already. Funny how a bit of human interaction could mean so much to a traveler. He opened the case file, but saw only a single sheet of paper, the criminal complaint. It contained the barest amount of information, announcing with the quaintly Communist language used by California courts: People of California v. Tania Kong. The charge was California Penal Code Section 315: Tania had been arrested for working at a house of prostitution.

There was nothing else in the case — no photos or affidavits or legal papers. The briefly worded complaint stated that on May 24, 1997, Tania Kong had been arrested for prostitution after police raided a brothel at 781 Jackson Street in Chinatown. No other defendants were named.

Ray jotted down the address, and copied the complaint. He returned the file to the light green lovely in her glass cube.

“What did this one do?” she asked.

“A rapscallion. Hardcore.”

The clerk glanced at the complaint. “Poor girl had some bad love.”

“That’s one way to look at it.”

Ray thanked the clerk and left the courthouse.

Chapter 7

Four muscular Asian men strutted along the Embarcadero, radiating that odd mix of intimidation and restraint peculiar to Asian gangs. The men had spent a lot of hours building muscle; being young and violent, they showed off the results of their work with the iron. Thick trapezes danced beneath the muscle tees, hard chests thrust out, triceps rippling. But the men gave way to tourists, didn’t try to overdo the turf walk. They were on business, simple and direct: hunt down Tania Kong.

They walked past an outside cafe, scanning the people. Fit men in black spandex and funny-looking helmets straddled titanium bikes, or lounged on the grass. Kids walked by with their parents, munching on junk food.

They had been looking for Tania for six days. No sign of her anywhere. Everyone had been sure it would be over in forty-eight hours. But they were wrong. Excitement leaked away; frustration set in.

Ricky flicked a cigarette to the sidewalk as he reconnoitered the perimeter of the cafe. “I once seen this show about missing persons—you don’t find them in twenty-four hours, you be fucked.”

Dan looked at him. “Ahh shut ya’ cake hole.” The other guys glared at Ricky, resenting the implication. The fuck-up was reaching major proportions. Word filtered down from the bosses—they were pissed. Tamo was riding them hard. A subliminal pressure was building, the guys could feel it, like the tipping point in football when a linebacker crunches into a quarterback to jar the ball loose. A spirit of collision. Someone had to make something happen soon.

Last night at Buddha Bar, Xio “Kenny” Chu came up with an idea. Lean, well-dressed, a smooth talker, Kenny was dating a girl who worked at a hospital and drove a van for elderly people. He told the crew that the van had “Elderly Services” printed in blue block letters on the side and was outfitted with stuff for the oldsters—the van actually tilted down and had a little conveyor belt that lifted the old people out the door.

“Well, the great thing is, my girl takes the van home each night, she got the keys.” He smiled broadly over his beer as he told everyone. “We can do missions from the handicap van. Roomy and they don’t attract a lot of suspicion.”

He met her at a club, and they did the club hookup, sleeping together after one night out and then trying to salvage the thing and get to know each other afterward. He was still banging her on occasion.

“She told me that if I needed wheels, I could take the van anytime I need it.”

So now the crew had the handicap wheels for the day, cruising around and hunting Tania from the van. They could park in handicap spots — anywhere really — because elderly people voted, they had all kinds of rights, and who was going to ask a van used to help elderly people to move anyway?

So they piled inside and roamed the city. It was funny shit, the van cruising heavily, the way the door opened and the van tilted down like a decrepit elephant so the oldsters could step on.

The guys carried six guns on board, four pistols and two sawed off shotguns. Kenny and Dan placed one shotgun in each corner of the van so they could cover all angles, a rolling fortress. The guns had homemade silencers on them, thick as cans and stuffed with sound deadening fiberglass.

After a dull morning, they parked at the water looking over the East Bay. Kenny and Sammy got off to pick up some lunch when they saw her sitting in the cafe. Asian girl, petite, eyes with a certain Western look to them. Right height, right profile. They ran back to the van to check the picture.

“Yep, it’s Tania,” said Kenny. They passed the picture back and forth, and voted. Sammy shook his head no. They argued. “I’m just saying, the girl in the cafe looks different. I don’t think it’s her.” But Dan, squat and eager, muttered, “Let’s do this.” The mission just seemed inevitable. No one listened to that douche bag Sammy anyway.

Dan pointed to the driver seat. Kenny hustled up to the front and pulled away. They had found their target, they felt the pressure. Plus, Kenny had told them his girlfriend had to drive the van to work the next day.

The van cruised down the Embarcadero toward the cafe. The shooters crouched near the shaded windows. They stopped for a few minutes until Tania got up and left the cafe. She sipped a coffee as she strolled in front of one of docks on the marina. The van rolled slowly by. A rear window cracked open. Dan unloaded, sending a muffled blast right at Tania. Her right shoulder evaporated in a red mist. She toppled over. Then another shot and another shot, muffled humps, as the van rolled peaceably by. Tania lay still on the concrete. There was some ricochet action and a biker toppled over, crashing into a cafe table.

“Hit a mushroom, hahahah!” Kenny loved the mayhem. The shared adrenaline rush, four hard, young badasses. The guys were laughing and belting each other, they should have videotaped the bitch and put it up on Youtube. The geek on the mountain bike was just a bonus.

People on the sidewalk were looking around now, a girl down, a biker screaming. They scanned the street and over the water and looked down the Embarcadero. The elderly van lumbered along, innocuous and overlooked.

Later the papers came out with the story and the girl’s name. Melissa. She was from out of town, a student from Wisconsin.

Another mistake. The bosses were not happy. Dan, Ricky, Sammy and Kenny got the call. A dark SUV came by their Clement Street apartment and drove them to a private bar on Grant Street. Some heavy hitters there, soldiers from the top crews. Tamo had warned that bullshit mistakes would not be tolerated. Two of the soldiers dragged Kenny down a stairwell to the basement. Kenny resisted a bit. One of the men snapped the butt of his handgun on his skull, a hard thwack. Kenny’s limbs jerked a crazy dance. They shoved the other guys downstairs and tossed Kenny into a shallow pit dug into the floor filled with filthy water. Beer cans and cigarette butts floated on the surface. One of the men opened Kenny’s skull with a pipe. Blood mixed with the dark waters. Head wounds always looked worse than they were, the pressure of veins on the skull shot the blood everywhere, but still, the moaning from Kenny unnerved his friends.

Dan, Sammy, and Ricky got knocked around a bit before Tamo decided they had enough. Kenny lay unconscious in front of the others, bleeding into the half dug pit. They emerged with shocked looks from the basement into a side alley. Something different in their faces now. They blinked in the summer light and eyeballed the dumpsters. Still worried the beat down was not over.

Tamo watched them in silence. Then laughter geysered up through him so rapidly that he rocked back and forth, almost dancing. He loved this life. When you felt part of something so close to the top, it was close to perfection. Like a ruined god.

“Dumb little fuckers. We like the handicap van though. Smart!” Tamo pointed to his skull. “That’s why you’re still alive.”

A joke went around the Triad, the crews needed to increase their missionary work: seduce more girls who worked at hospitals, nursing homes, schools for the blind.

… Continued…

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