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4.7 Stars and Just 99 Cents! Last Call for Romance of The Week eBook: The Absolutely True Story of Us by Melanie Marchande

Last call for KND free Romance excerpt:

The Absolutely True Story of Us

by Melanie Marchande

The Absolutely True Story of Us
4.7 stars – 72 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

There are only two people in the world that I truly hate. One of them is unpacking his toothbrush in my bathroom, and the other one is texting me to find out what color my panties are.Pathetic, I know. I’m a romance novelist caught between the man I used to love, and the one who wants to destroy my career. Well – maybe “destroy” is too strong of a word. But there’s still no excuse for why I started a secret cyber-affair with a snarky reviewer who likes to rip my books apart. Yes, he’s mysterious, and yes, he has a silver tongue, but I can’t keep doing this.

I have to focus on my fake relationship, with my *real* ex, all in the name of fooling my family. They think I’ve found the love of my life, and I’m determined not to let them find out the truth.

That I lied. That my “dream guy” is really a selfish dirtbag who broke my heart. That the closest thing I have to a soulmate is a stranger on the internet, who’s happy to sext me while believing I’m in a committed relationship.

It all started with five little words.

Based on a true story…

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  And here, for your reading pleasure, is our free romance excerpt:

CHAPTER ONE

M

 

There are only two people in the world that I truly hate. One of them is unpacking his toothbrush in my bathroom, and the other one is texting me to find out what color my panties are.

How do I get myself into these situations?

Oh, right. Because I’m a liar.

Don’t judge me too fast – you know you do it too. Most lies are harmless. I thought mine was, too. But I’m starting to wonder.

My phone buzzes.

 

Come on babe. Don’t keep me waiting, you know how I feel about that.

 

With a sigh, I tap out a quick response. I don’t even remember what underwear I’ve got on, and I’m certainly not going to check. My ex-boyfriend is ten feet away, arranging his toiletries. In my bathroom.

 

Black lace

 

I send the message quickly and shove my phone back into my pocket. “Don’t get too comfortable in there,” I call out to my ex, hurrying over to make sure he’s not messing with my stuff.

“Not much risk of that,” he says. “With you breathing down my neck as usual.”

So, why is my ex moving back in with me? Has he fallen on hard times? Am I that much of a bleeding heart?

No. Well. Not anymore.

He’s actually helping me out, but you wouldn’t know it.

My phone buzzes again, and I resolutely ignore it. But for a “silent” setting, it’s pretty damn far from silent. Dean, my ex, glances at me.

“You’re blowing up tonight,” he comments. The unspoken part is who on earth would be texting you?

“Yeah, it turns out there are some guys who actually answer their messages.” I cross my arms, leaning against the doorway. “I hope you brought your own toothpaste. I don’t want you rubbing whatever skank-germs you’ve got in your mouth all over my Crest.”

“Oh, so there’s a guy involved.” He shoots me that lopsided grin in the mirror, and I draw my lips a little tighter together. “Just one?”

The jig is up, more or less. I pull my phone out of my pocket and glance over the message, keeping a straight face as best I can, even as a hot blush starts to creep up the back of my neck.

“I didn’t say that,” I point out. “But yeah, I’m not one to juggle. I know that’s hard for you to wrap your head around, but…”

“Right.” He chuckles. “I’m the man-whore. Remind me what other sins I’ve supposedly committed? Sometimes it’s hard to keep track.”

I stalk into the next room without another word. That’s the most infuriating thing about him – after all this time, after all the damning evidence, he still refuses to admit it.

Fumbling my phone back out of my pocket, I glare at the message. Oh, how I wish it didn’t make my throat tighten.

You don’t even know what this guy looks like.

Yeah, well I know what parts of him look like.

Don’t be alarmed. I’m an author; we talk to ourselves all the time. It’s totally normal.

Probably.

I just keep staring at the screen, until the words stop making any kind of sense, until it actually seems like starting this virtual affair was a good idea.

 

Lace. Perfect. I love the ripping sound it makes between my teeth.

 

My mystery man has a bit of an oral fixation. At first, I just played along, because I never really understood the appeal. Back in the day, Dean gave it the good ol’ college try, but whatever near-spiritual experience most women seem to have under a guy’s tongue – it’s just not there for me. I don’t know, maybe I’m defective. But damned if the way Mystery Man describes it doesn’t get my heart racing.

He talks about the way he wants to devour me, slow and then fast and then slow again, how I’ll coat his chin with my juices, and all that good stuff. There’s something about the words he uses. It’s like I can almost feel it.

I really hate how much the Mystery Man affects me, almost as much as I hate the man himself. It’s just not right. If he’s getting off on this, I’m sure it’s only because of the power he has over me. It wasn’t enough for him to just crush my books, he’s got to crush me, too. I’m sure that’s what this is leading up to. He wants to string me along and then watch me fall.

Okay, let’s back up. Let me try to explain.

Mystery Man is, well, a mystery. Nobody knows his true identity, or if he’s even really a he. I have strong reasons to suspect that he is, although I suppose those pictures could’ve been stolen off of Craigslist or something. But I did a reverse image search on everything he sent me; I’m not stupid. As far as I can tell, he’s genuine.

He’s also a book reviewer. He calls himself M. As much as I don’t want to give him the credit, it’s a lot easier to just say M rather than Mystery Man, so let’s just make a graceful transition.

I have to admit, M’s gimmick is a rather good one. He says he’s providing the male point of view on romance novels, and often focuses his rant-reviews on the behavior of the male love interests and how realistic, or not, their behavior is.

The thing is, M is funny. M is really funny. I understand why people gobble up his reviews with a spoon, especially because he doesn’t treat authors with kid gloves. Before I hit it big, I used to love snickering over his blog. It’s always fun to throw stones, until one day you wake up and you’re the target.

It’s his internet-given right to hate my books, and I’d never dream of taking that away from him. But he seems to glory in it. I don’t think it’s just my natural bias; his review of my last book was absolutely vicious, and oddly personal. When I first saw it, I pretty much laughed it off. I mean, the guy doesn’t know me. Imagine the nerve of him, painting me as some impossible harpy based solely on my book. Writing me off as a sexually frustrated, possibly frigid woman just waiting for Prince Charming to come along…I mean, he’s not necessarily wrong about the sexually frustrated part, but the rest? Hell. I’m not waiting for Prince Charming. Not anymore. I’d settle for Prince Tolerable.

I make it a policy not to respond to reviews. They’re for other readers, not for me. I read them, I learn from them, but I know it’s weird and invasive to join a conversation that I’m not meant to be a part of. But M was begging me – literally – to explain myself. I understood it was probably rhetorical, but it was so tempting.

Still. I didn’t take the bait.

At first.

He started needling me on Twitter. Poking and prodding, and I was determined to ignore him, until one night I had a few too many glasses of wine and made the second biggest mistake of my life.

We’ll get to Mistake Number One in a minute.

I actually responded to M. Privately. I knew there was a chance it would end up on his blog anyway, so I was nice enough about it – just told him he could’t expect me to engage with him. I wasn’t that kind of author. If he wanted drama, he’d have to go elsewhere.

He responded privately, which surprised me.

 

I’m not into drama, I just have this morbid fascination with what makes you tick.

 

My heart, for some reason, skipped a few beats.

Okay, so maybe I had a little bit of a weird, twisted crush on this guy. Maybe I’ve had it for a while. I’ve always enjoyed a good dose of snark when it’s well aimed, which is one reason why I feel like such a hypocrite for the way my stomach roils when he writes about me. But it’s only natural. Anyone would feel the same way.

After a few minutes without a response, he messaged me again.

 

The character limit is killing me. Check your FB.

 

Against my better judgment, I did. It took a few minutes, but I wasn’t disappointed.

 

M: Look doll, you know it’s nothing personal, this is just my job. I can’t give people special treatment. You seem like a nice person and a real professional which I appreciate. I don’t make friends with authors because it’s a conflict of interest, but if you want to do an interview for my blog I bet a lot of people would love to see it. Promise I won’t twist your words.

 

An interview? With M? Yeah, right. It would be great exposure, but at what cost? I told him:

 

Thanks, but no thanks. Not interested in your Freudian analysis.

 

I don’t know why that popped out. I guess the fact that he correctly pegged me as sexually frustrated was bothering me more than I realized. He replied:

 

M: Tell me I’m wrong, and I’ll apologize.

 

He knew I couldn’t. Gritting my teeth, I shot back:

 

You’re just playing the odds. Most women are sexually frustrated because most men are terrible in bed. Keep gloating all you want, but the odds are not in your favor.

 

I felt triumphant for all of forty-five seconds before he came back with:

 

M: Where’d you get those statistics from, sunshine? The Institute of Sour Grapes?

 

Damn it. He was just as quick in real time as he was on his blog.

See, the dirty secret of most writers is we need a lot of time to seem clever. I always figured he was one of those, but he seemed to be a true wit, which was infuriating. It took me a while to come up with a response.

 

Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re very good. Or at the very least, you THINK you are, which is all that really matters, right?

 

He started typing back almost immediately.

 

M: I know you expect me to make some kind of crude joke about proving it to you, but I’m not “that guy.”

 

I rolled my eyes.

 

Sure. You don’t need to be. I’m sure you get plenty of action from those desperate groupies.

 

To say that M has fans is an understatement. He presents himself as a moderately attractive, self-confident man in the romance world, so of course he draws attention. It’s easy, like being the only guy in ballet or yoga class. He’s got women hanging on to his every word, and it’s only made his ego swell bigger.

He finally responded.

 

M: I don’t screw around with fans.

 

My eyebrows went up.

 

I didn’t expect you to be so principled.

 

His reply made me chuckle a little.

 

M: It’s not principled. Have you ever fucked someone who worships you? It’s not that fun. Hate sex is always better.

 

It took me a second to realize what he was implying. Unless – no. I was almost positive. M, king of snark, was hitting on me.

What the hell was I going to say?

Finally, I gave up on being clever.

 

I wouldn’t know.

 

Again, his response came quickly.

 

M: Oh. That’s tragic. There’s nothing quite like the turn-on of somebody who hates you, but can’t control how much they want you.

 

I downed the rest of my glass of wine before I answered.

 

I guess I’ve never had the opportunity to find out.

 

Your move, M.

 

M: Too bad. You have a dirty mind. I bet you’re fun in bed if somebody can manage to pry your chastity belt off.

 

My face was burning. I should’ve closed the window, should’ve walked away, but I didn’t.

 

I’m not wearing a chastity belt.

 

All I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears while I waited for him to answer.

 

M: So what ARE you wearing?

 

I swallowed, hard.

 

You’re totally failing at not being “that guy,” you know.

 

There was slight pause before his response.

 

M: At this moment, I find I don’t really care.

 

And then, I made the decision that sealed my fate.

 

Black pencil skirt. No panties.

 

There was another pause before he responded, and I didn’t want to think about why. Except I did. I really, really did.

 

M: I don’t believe you. Keep going.

 

So that’s how it started, with me and M.

I’ll never know what would’ve happened between us if I hadn’t brought up the topic of sex in our first real exchange. Maybe nothing. Or maybe it was an inevitability. The conversation could have died out there, but it didn’t. Instead, we embarked on a torrid, virtual affair that consumes way too much of my time and energy.

Back to the present day. I still haven’t answered his last text, the one about wanting to rip my panties off with his teeth. The last thing I want is to go all jelly-legged with lust while my ex-boyfriend is unpacking in the next room, and I know that’s the effect M has on me.

My phone buzzes again.

 

M: Take them off.

 

My breath catches in my throat. It’s insane, obscene, that this guy can have such an effect on me. We’ve never even met. He has no idea what I look like, beyond a small headshot on my website.

If I’m being honest, that last bit might be my favorite part.

 

I can’t.

 

M: Yes you can.

 

I’m not alone.

 

M: So excuse yourself.

 

How can I explain this situation to M? There’s no way I’m telling him the truth. He’d tell the whole world, and everything would come crashing down.

More importantly, why do I feel like I have to? I always have the option of just telling him to fuck off, and he wouldn’t be able to do a damn thing about it. But I won’t.

Because with M, I’m not just Felicity Warden, frumpy failure with a big ass who only stumbled into success by telling a whopper of a lie. With M, I can be anybody.

There’s a tapping at the door.

“What?” I demand, yanking it open.

“Uh.” Dean clears his throat. “If your parents are coming over here, shouldn’t my stuff be in your room?”

“They’re not going to be snooping,” I insist.

“You want to take that risk?” he asks. “Look, I’ll sleep on the sofa, obviously – but we should at least make it look like we’re living together.”

He has a point. I hate it when he has a point.

My phone buzzes again, and I want to throw it against the wall.

“Sorry,” says Dean. “I don’t mean to interrupt your vigorous texting schedule, but I figured I should hang up my shirts in here.”

I stalk past him and lock myself in the bathroom, pulling out my phone as soon as it’s safe.

 

M: Well?

 

I’m serious. I can’t. I’m wearing jeans anyway.

 

M: Don’t care. Do it. When you feel the seam of the denim pressing into your bare pussy, you’ll think about me.

 

Somehow, in that moment, the sensible corner of my brain kicks in. However brief, it’s enough for me to quickly type:

 

Sorry. I have to go.

 

I lock my phone and shove it back into my pocket, breathing hard.

How did I end up like this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER TWO

Based on a True Story

 

Six Months Ago

 

It all starts with five little words.

Based on a true story.

I’m at the dollar theater with my friend Jack, splitting the bag of popcorn I smuggled in, thanks to my cavernous oversized purse. I feel kind of bad. I know these places barely make any money as it is, and I’m only making things worse by refusing to buy their shrink-wrapped cookies with the pink frosting. But I haven’t sold an article in ages, and Jack is just as broke as I am. He’s been job-hunting for three years now. At this point, filling out applications pretty much is his full-time job.

Me, I’m still holding onto the great American dream: self-employment. Owning a business. Being an entrepreneur. Working from home. Bathrobes. Fuzzy slippers. Mail order groceries. Tequila at nine A.M. I won so many writing awards in college I could wallpaper my living room with them, so why the hell can’t I make my living as a writer?

That question stopped being rhetorical some time ago.

“Hey, stop being greedy.” Jack tries to swat my hand out of the way, nearly overturning the bag in the process.

I squeal at him, saving it just in time. “For God’s sake. You’re like the dog in that fable who drops the bone in the water when he sees his reflection. You stop being greedy, or neither one of us gets any popcorn.” He’s rolling his eyes, but I decide to ignore that. “Besides, I brought it.”

Besides, I brought it,” Jack echoes, in an obnoxious falsetto. “That’s you. That’s what you sound like right now.”

By all rights, I should hate Jack. I met him in a dive bar shortly after Dean left, during one of my brave attempts to “put myself out there.” The sexual chemistry was nil, but we fell hard for each other as friends and have been completely inseparable since. He’s a gorgeous player with a killer smile, but my libido remains stubbornly disinterested. Thankfully, the feeling’s mutual – which is slightly less surprising on his side.

Well, he might be a player, but he’s no Dean. He doesn’t get involved with women who have romantic commitments, and he never breaks hearts on purpose. So he’s got that going for him. I wouldn’t be able to stand his company if he was that kind of scumbag.

“Look. Based on a true story.” Jack points at the screen. “I can’t wait until this comes out on Redbox and we can do a drinking game.”

“We could’ve done one now,” I observe. “Want me to go hit the liquor store across the street? It’s not like they’re searching bags here.”

“It’s eleven-thirty in the morning,” he observes, raising his eyebrow at me. “Have some morals, Warden.”

“Neither of us have jobs, Harrison.” I laugh at him. Thankfully, we’re the only ones in the theater, so we get to enjoy ourselves. “There’s nothing immoral about day-drinking when you have no responsibilities.”

“Yeah, but there is something immoral about me carting your drunk ass home. Never again, I swear. Didn’t even get a blowjob out of it.” He winks at me.

“You want one?” I flick a piece of popcorn at his lap.

“Ask me again in ten years, if we’re both still single.” Suddenly, he sits up straighter. “Shit, I just thought of the best plot for a romantic-comedy-porno ever.”

“Oh, great, I hear that’s a super lucrative genre right now.” I roll my eyes at him. “Okay, so…which part of this is based on a true story?”

“That part,” he says, pointing at the lead actor taking a drink. “One of the family members probably drank soda at some point, right?”

Snickering, I lean back in my seat. “Okay, but seriously. It has to be something more than that.”

“No, it doesn’t.” He turns to look at me. “Wait, are you serious? You actually think they have to back up their claims when they say that? Nobody asks.”

I guess I’ve never thought about it before. “So, you can just make up any bullshit you want and claim it’s true? And nobody can sue you?”

“I mean, as long as it’s not about anyone in particular, sure.” Jack shrugs. “Who cares? Who’s gonna find out?”

The seed of an idea is germinating in my mind. I can’t even focus on the movie when shit starts to go crazy, because I’m still thinking about what Jack said.

Last year, I did try my hand at writing a romance novel. It’s the most lucrative genre in fiction, and I guess I wanted to prove a point to myself. I managed to get some good reviews and make enough to cover the editing costs, but it became very clear that it wasn’t going to be my new career. I just didn’t get it. Clearly, I didn’t understand what the market wanted. I swore I’d never do it again, but now I’m starting to reconsider.

Rom-com porno sounds ridiculous, but in this post Fifty Shades world, I know steamy romance is hugely popular. And “based on a true story” as a hook? I could do a lot worse.

It’s been a while since I tried to write fiction. Before the last novel, it had been even longer. My parents always gently discouraged me from it, saying it was impossible to make a career out of it. Unless I was lucky enough to become the next Stephen King or James Patterson, there were a lot more practical ways to spend my time.

A plot is starting to unwind itself in my mind, and not even the jump scares can shake me out of it. I can already see the movie trailer set to Carolina Liar’s “Show Me What I’m Looking For.” It’s beautiful, sexy, inspiring. I’ll hit every bestseller list, win every award.

“Psst.” Jack snaps his fingers in my face. “Where’d you wander off to?”

“I got an idea,” I tell him, slowly, still staring at the screen but not really seeing it. “An idea for a book.”

 

 

***

Back at home, I nibble on the edge of my fingernail. Am I really going to do this? It’s so easy: just five little words. A lie, but a harmless one. I’m not even pretending to be an addict or a trauma survivor or anything like that, and besides, people lie like this all the time. Like the people who made that movie. They don’t expect me to believe some family was really terrorized by a demon that was attached to a haunted doll, do they? It’s artistic license. It’s an acceptable falsehood.

Nobody will ever know.

I’ve already got a perfectly serviceable pen name, with one sad, languishing book I never bothered to un-publish. So why not? What’s stopping me?

I crack my knuckles, and then I start to type.

The book begins to form before my eyes. I call it Mergers & Acquisitions, because I’m being terribly clever. Boy meets girl, boy and girl are competing for the same job, claws out, sex – and eventually love – ensues. It’s pretty standard stuff, but the hook gives it more depth. More character.

Fake character. But character all the same.

As I write, I let pieces of my personality seep into the main character-slash-author. I am Lana DeVane, and Lana is me. The hero, Damien, is everything I know the reading public wants. Dominant, demanding, arrogant. Sexy and loyal as hell. Smart and sarcastic and successful. By the end, I’m practically in love with him. Too bad guys like that don’t seem to exist. Particularly the “loyal” part.

Anyway, readers love it. Just as I thought, they love him even more than I do. Sometimes my predictions actually come true.

Of course, I didn’t predict that within two months of publishing the book, I’d have the opportunity to be interviewed for an online news segment about successful romance author-entrepreneurs. One I couldn’t pass up. I don’t use my real name, but I have no choice but to use my real face.

And they want to meet the guy.

Well, it’s only natural.

Jack is the first person I ask, of course. He laughs in my face and tells me he’s not getting mixed up in my drama. Sometimes that guy is just too damn smart.

That only leaves one option, really.

Dean.

Ugh.

We’re still on civil terms, more or less, in spite of everything. And he’ll probably feel obligated enough to say yes. We’ve got a history. We can fake the chemistry easily enough.

Harmless, right?

Of course, I also don’t predict that one of my sisters will stumble across the video and discover my secret identity. And that my whole family is going to read the damn book and completely lose their minds, wanting to get to know this amazing, romantic specimen of a man.

They’ve met Dean at a few holiday get-togethers, but they always seemed to have trouble remembering his name. As a middle child among six siblings, it’s easy to overlook me. And I’ve never really minded it – at least, that’s what I tell myself.

The interview was a cakewalk. I booked us a few author appearances and book signings for next year, making sure he could get the time off work. Pfft. No big deal. We’ll just keep playing this game until people forget about my book, or I publish a new one, whichever comes sooner. Putting on a show for the reading public is easy.

Putting on a show for my family? Well. That’s a horse of a different color.

***

Six months after that fateful day in the theater, I’m suppressing the urge to kick myself. Hard.

Under the table, because otherwise my parents might notice.

My dad is one of those guys who always looks like a doctor. It doesn’t matter what he’s wearing, you can’t help but picture him in a white coat and a stethoscope. My mom slightly less so, but that’s mostly because of the celebratory nose stud she got after my baby sister was born. They’re actually both doctors; my dad specializes in internal medicine, and my mom specializes in podiatry. They both specialize in a total inability to seem interested in my life.

“It’s so nice to see you again,” my mom says to Dean for the third time. “Now, I’m sorry, you’ll have to remind me – what line of work did you say you’re in?”

“Murders and executions, mostly,” I mutter under my breath. But apparently my mother hasn’t started losing her hearing yet.

“What’s that, honey?” she asks mildly, poking at her plain steamed fillet of fish.

I shake my head, immediately regretting it. “Nothing, Mom. Just a joke.”

“I want to know the joke!” She takes a sip of her wine.

“It’s from a movie,” says Dean helpfully. “American Psycho.”

“Oh,” my mom intones. “What’s that about?”

“A successful businessman who’s also a serial killer,” I tell her.

“Oh no! That’s terrible.” She tsks, taking another suspicious look at her fish. “Why would anyone make a movie about that?”

My dad sighs. “It’s not a true story, Bea. Just a horror movie. You don’t have to act so shocked.”

“It’s a comedy, actually,” Dean puts in.

I kick his shin under the table. Not hard, but enough to make a point.

“What’s so funny about killing people?” My mom knits her eyebrows, shaking her head at me. “I swear, I never understood your sense of humor.”

“Anyway, the joke is that Felicity has no idea what I do,” Dean says, patting my hand. “Just that I’m in ‘business.’ And really, that’s good enough. The details are boring. I don’t even like talking about it.”

“Oh, busy businessman!” My mom’s already gone through most of the bottle of wine, and she hasn’t even started on her entrée yet. Probably because it’s slightly more exotic than unflavored oatmeal, and she hasn’t quite decided what to make of it. “Good for you. Felicity was always so artsy, I figured she’d end up with somebody like her.”

Artsy. It’s her nice way of saying scatterbrained. Which is true, fair enough – I spent about twenty minutes looking for a matching pair of earrings this morning before I gave up and went without. But that doesn’t make me any less of a functional human being, most of the time. I’m not sure why my mother thinks it would be more virtuous to fight my space-cadet nature and go into some field with lots of math, where I’d probably end up accidentally killing people – but it was a major point of contention in my childhood. She wasn’t too happy about my brothers going into mechanical trades, but at least it was something practical.

Thankfully, my oldest sister took the pressure off all of us by showing the proper amount of interest in medicine from a young age. While I drew epic cartoon stories and my brothers tried to take apart the lawn mower, my sister played “hospital” with all her dolls lined up in makeshift toilet paper bandages. Predictably, she loved biology in high school, and before long she was accepted into a prestigious medical school and well on her way to the only career path my parents truly understand.

For me, “become a doctor” was only a slightly less realistic goal than “build a homestead on Mars.” I was simply missing whatever gene Tabby has, the one that’s gratified by studying diseases and muscle groups and the names of all the tiny bones in your ear.

I love my family. I do. But after a lifetime of being the inexplicable middle child, the one my parents always mentioned last when they caught up with friends and extended family – “oh, Felicity, she’s just…she’s still showing a lot of interest in telling stories, so we’re hoping she’ll take up journalism or technical writing, you know? But the most important thing is that she’s happy…”

I’m just over it.

They’re proud of me, of course. But I still always feel like I’m on the other side of the glass at the zoo, and while they gawk and appreciate, they’ll never understand.

“It’s so romantic, the story of how you two got together,” my mother says, a little dreamily. When my father gives her a sharp look, she rolls her eyes. “Don’t worry, I won’t bring up anything embarrassing. I skimmed over those parts anyway.”

“It’s not all based on fact,” I point out, suddenly feeling a hot blush creeping up the back of my neck. I’ve managed to avoid thinking about my mother reading sex scenes I wrote, but the look on her face tells me that she might not be completely truthful about the “skimming” thing.

“Stop it,” my dad mutters. “You’re embarrassing her.”

It’s tempting to face-plant into my lasagna, but somehow, I resist the urge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER THREE

Master

 

We’re finally home, after the longest two hours of my life.

By which I mean, of course, that I’m home. I didn’t even live here when I was with Dean, but it’s all too easy to fall into old mindsets all the same.

“I don’t think I can handle another dinner with your mom wondering if my penis is shaped like the guy in the book,” he mutters, raking his hands through his hair.

“I’m sure she was not doing that,” I insist. “Probably.”

Dean groans, flopping back on the sofa. “I’m really starting to regret saying I would do this. Can’t we invent some kind of emergency that sends me out of town?”

Glaring at him, I sprawl on the lounge chair across the room. “Are you really giving me a hard time? This is the least you can do.”

“Fuck’s sake, Lissy.” He scrubs his hands across his face. “Don’t start this again. I’m happy to be here. Really. I’m happy to help you out. I know what you think about me these days, but…”

He drifts off, gazing at the floor, seeming to think better of whatever he was about to say.

“But?” I prompt him, tone softening slightly.

“But I still care about you,” he says, glancing at me. “You were the most important person in my life for five years, I can’t just throw that away.”

And now I’m not the most important person in anybody’s life.

The thought comes, unwelcome, and I can’t seem to push it aside.

Sighing, I curl up, drawing my knees into my chest. “Well, that’s nice.” I’m honestly not quite sure if I’m being sarcastic.

“And I know you care about me, too,” he prompts. “Because otherwise you would’ve just hired a gigolo.”

A burst of laughter escapes before I can stop it. “Shit. I could’ve written that off as research, probably.”

“Sure. Tell the IRS you’re hiring hookers. What could go wrong?” Dean shrugs, and it all comes back in a rush. The sadness, the regret. I remember now why I loved him so much. We had that rapport. We just got along so well – like two people who were meant to be together.

Too bad he turned out to be a liar and a cheater and a general, all-purpose scumbag.

I still can’t reconcile what I know about Dean with the man sitting in front of me. It’s never made sense to me. I’ve never quite accepted it, never been able to wrap my head all the way around his betrayal.

It’s not like him.

I’m letting his unasked question – do I still care about him? – linger in the air. I don’t know the answer, and I don’t want to. Of course I still care about him as a human being, more or less. I’d drag him out of a burning building just as readily as I’d drag anyone else. Maybe because I’m too compassionate, or maybe, just maybe…

No. I can’t let myself have doubts. Not now. The past is the past, and if he was innocent, then why did he leave? Innocent people don’t walk away from relationships like that. He had “guilty conscience” written all over him.

Goddamn it. I want to forget. After all this time, there’s still a part of me that wants to just crawl over to the sofa and curl up in his arms. Pretend that I’ve forgotten everything that’s come between us. I just want to feel him breathing, hear his heartbeat.

I want to make love. Maybe it wasn’t always the best sex in the world, but at least it felt like it meant something. Even if that was a lie, I didn’t know back then. It seemed real. It seemed right.

Warden, don’t do this now.

Get yourself together.

Any day now.

 

***

After Dean goes to bed, I finally feel brave enough to check my phone again. I know M’s going to be mad, that’s a given. The only question is why I care so much.

It’s just a silly game. That’s all. It’s fun, it’s an escape, and it’s completely harmless. I can stop anytime I want to.

Right.

He only sent me two messages after I started ignoring him earlier.

 

M: Lana?

 

And then:

 

M: ?

 

Two messages in four hours, that means he’s pissed for sure. I should just ignore it. I should delete this damn anonymous messaging app, block him on every social media profile I have, and move on with my life. Instead, I text him back.

 

I had to go to dinner.

 

It takes me a few tries to delete the “sorry” from the beginning of the message. He doesn’t need an apology. I haven’t done anything wrong. But I still feel like I ought to apologize, and I don’t know why.

 

M: Really?

 

What?

 

M: You know how I feel about being ignored.

 

I told you. I was busy.

 

M: You’re always busy. That shouldn’t get in the way of our arrangement. How long have we been doing this, Lana?

 

I don’t know.

 

M: Four months, Lana. Every day, for four months now, I’ve spent at least a little bit of my time thinking about how to shock you. Surprise you. Pleasure you. And this is the thanks I get.

 

You know my situation.

 

M: You always made plenty of time for me before.

 

I want to say something else, to make up more excuses, but my stomach’s already in knots over it. You see, M thinks my book is a true story. Like everyone else, he thinks me and “Damien” are actually a couple. He thinks I’m in love, committed, deeply attached to another man. And yet he’s happy to do this with me.

Scumbag.

It’s amazing how much I don’t care, when he says just the right thing to turn me on. It’s amazing how little it matters, when it’s just about sex. But it’s starting to feel like more than that.

Keep it together, Warden.

I’m so starved for a meaningful emotional attachment with another human being, I’m actually starting to…

I can’t. It’s M. For fuck’s sake.

I finally respond.

 

I’m not making any more excuses. Take it or leave it.

 

M: Doesn’t work like that.

 

What the hell does that mean?

 

I think it works however I want it to work.

 

M: Wrong. That’s not why you’re doing this.

 

Oh, really? Why don’t you tell me more about my private thoughts and motivations. I’m fascinated.

 

M: You have to play the competent entrepreneur in your real life, and you do it well, but it scares you. It’s all new. It’s nothing you were ever prepared for. What if you fuck up? All the responsibility is on your head. You need a place to go and rid yourself of all that responsibility. A place where someone tells you to jump, and all you have to do is ask how high. You need a release. And you think I’m the man to give it to you.

 

I blink at the screen a few times.

 

You’re nuts.

 

M: Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

 

I love it when you talk nerdy to me.

 

M: Take off your panties.

 

Why should I?

 

M: Because you want to. But you need someone to give you permission.

 

God, I hate him.

 

You don’t know anything about what I want.

 

M: If only that were true. You think I enjoy dealing with you and your bratty attitude? It’s basically charity work. I’m compelled to help you like the good Samaritan I am. That man of yours certainly isn’t scratching that itch.

 

This is the first time he’s directly referenced Damien. There’s a sour taste in my mouth, but I’m still throbbing between my legs.

Because he’s right. I want it. I want all of it. I don’t even know what I want, and that’s the point. He knows, so I don’t have to. How does he have that power over me?

Obviously it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. What I really want is to follow orders, and he’s just exceptionally good at giving them. He’s inside my head, convincing me of my own desires so seamlessly that my libido can’t even tell the difference.

I feel a little bit lightheaded. As I unbutton my jeans, another message comes in.

 

M: Don’t touch yourself.

 

Damn it.

Not only has he anticipated my next move, he’s aware that I’m already following his orders without having to be told again. I hate being a foregone conclusion. I hate how well he knows me, better than I know myself.

How is that even possible?

More importantly: How am I going to function with another human being up in my space? Dean is sleeping just a few feet away, through a way-too-thin wall. I keep reminding myself that I just need to get through my parents’ visit, but those two weeks are going to feel like an eternity. M’s influence over my life has grown so gradually, weaving itself into every moment, every breath, that I didn’t realize how insidious it was until now.

I step out of my panties and shove them into the hamper before shimmying back into my jeans. The fabric rasping against my sensitive flesh is uncomfortable, but in a really nice way. I glance at myself in the mirror – my face flushed, eyes so dilated they look black. My heart races, and I feel like I’m balanced on a razor’s edge.

Almost like I could…

I tap out a message to M.

 

I need to know if I have your permission.

 

M: Are you that close?

 

I think so.

 

M: You have my permission to come, so long as you don’t use your hands. Or anything else. Just squeeze those gorgeous thighs together and rock into the feeling.

 

I sit down on the edge of the bed. Now that I know I’m allowed to, a rush of arousal leaves me weak-kneed and quivering. I close my eyes and follow his instructions, slowly rocking back and forth so that the stiff seam of the fabric rubs where I need it most.

My phone buzzes and I force my eyes open again.

 

M: You’ll never come again without thinking of me.

 

When the pleasure explodes, low in my belly, I curse softly. I’m cursing at him even though he can’t hear me.

I’m determined to prove him wrong, though a part of me fears he’s not.

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The Absolutely True Story of Us

by Melanie Marchande

The Absolutely True Story of Us
4.7 stars – 71 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

There are only two people in the world that I truly hate. One of them is unpacking his toothbrush in my bathroom, and the other one is texting me to find out what color my panties are.Pathetic, I know. I’m a romance novelist caught between the man I used to love, and the one who wants to destroy my career. Well – maybe “destroy” is too strong of a word. But there’s still no excuse for why I started a secret cyber-affair with a snarky reviewer who likes to rip my books apart. Yes, he’s mysterious, and yes, he has a silver tongue, but I can’t keep doing this.

I have to focus on my fake relationship, with my *real* ex, all in the name of fooling my family. They think I’ve found the love of my life, and I’m determined not to let them find out the truth.

That I lied. That my “dream guy” is really a selfish dirtbag who broke my heart. That the closest thing I have to a soulmate is a stranger on the internet, who’s happy to sext me while believing I’m in a committed relationship.

It all started with five little words.

Based on a true story…

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  And here, for your reading pleasure, is our free romance excerpt:

CHAPTER ONE

M

 

There are only two people in the world that I truly hate. One of them is unpacking his toothbrush in my bathroom, and the other one is texting me to find out what color my panties are.

How do I get myself into these situations?

Oh, right. Because I’m a liar.

Don’t judge me too fast – you know you do it too. Most lies are harmless. I thought mine was, too. But I’m starting to wonder.

My phone buzzes.

 

Come on babe. Don’t keep me waiting, you know how I feel about that.

 

With a sigh, I tap out a quick response. I don’t even remember what underwear I’ve got on, and I’m certainly not going to check. My ex-boyfriend is ten feet away, arranging his toiletries. In my bathroom.

 

Black lace

 

I send the message quickly and shove my phone back into my pocket. “Don’t get too comfortable in there,” I call out to my ex, hurrying over to make sure he’s not messing with my stuff.

“Not much risk of that,” he says. “With you breathing down my neck as usual.”

So, why is my ex moving back in with me? Has he fallen on hard times? Am I that much of a bleeding heart?

No. Well. Not anymore.

He’s actually helping me out, but you wouldn’t know it.

My phone buzzes again, and I resolutely ignore it. But for a “silent” setting, it’s pretty damn far from silent. Dean, my ex, glances at me.

“You’re blowing up tonight,” he comments. The unspoken part is who on earth would be texting you?

“Yeah, it turns out there are some guys who actually answer their messages.” I cross my arms, leaning against the doorway. “I hope you brought your own toothpaste. I don’t want you rubbing whatever skank-germs you’ve got in your mouth all over my Crest.”

“Oh, so there’s a guy involved.” He shoots me that lopsided grin in the mirror, and I draw my lips a little tighter together. “Just one?”

The jig is up, more or less. I pull my phone out of my pocket and glance over the message, keeping a straight face as best I can, even as a hot blush starts to creep up the back of my neck.

“I didn’t say that,” I point out. “But yeah, I’m not one to juggle. I know that’s hard for you to wrap your head around, but…”

“Right.” He chuckles. “I’m the man-whore. Remind me what other sins I’ve supposedly committed? Sometimes it’s hard to keep track.”

I stalk into the next room without another word. That’s the most infuriating thing about him – after all this time, after all the damning evidence, he still refuses to admit it.

Fumbling my phone back out of my pocket, I glare at the message. Oh, how I wish it didn’t make my throat tighten.

You don’t even know what this guy looks like.

Yeah, well I know what parts of him look like.

Don’t be alarmed. I’m an author; we talk to ourselves all the time. It’s totally normal.

Probably.

I just keep staring at the screen, until the words stop making any kind of sense, until it actually seems like starting this virtual affair was a good idea.

 

Lace. Perfect. I love the ripping sound it makes between my teeth.

 

My mystery man has a bit of an oral fixation. At first, I just played along, because I never really understood the appeal. Back in the day, Dean gave it the good ol’ college try, but whatever near-spiritual experience most women seem to have under a guy’s tongue – it’s just not there for me. I don’t know, maybe I’m defective. But damned if the way Mystery Man describes it doesn’t get my heart racing.

He talks about the way he wants to devour me, slow and then fast and then slow again, how I’ll coat his chin with my juices, and all that good stuff. There’s something about the words he uses. It’s like I can almost feel it.

I really hate how much the Mystery Man affects me, almost as much as I hate the man himself. It’s just not right. If he’s getting off on this, I’m sure it’s only because of the power he has over me. It wasn’t enough for him to just crush my books, he’s got to crush me, too. I’m sure that’s what this is leading up to. He wants to string me along and then watch me fall.

Okay, let’s back up. Let me try to explain.

Mystery Man is, well, a mystery. Nobody knows his true identity, or if he’s even really a he. I have strong reasons to suspect that he is, although I suppose those pictures could’ve been stolen off of Craigslist or something. But I did a reverse image search on everything he sent me; I’m not stupid. As far as I can tell, he’s genuine.

He’s also a book reviewer. He calls himself M. As much as I don’t want to give him the credit, it’s a lot easier to just say M rather than Mystery Man, so let’s just make a graceful transition.

I have to admit, M’s gimmick is a rather good one. He says he’s providing the male point of view on romance novels, and often focuses his rant-reviews on the behavior of the male love interests and how realistic, or not, their behavior is.

The thing is, M is funny. M is really funny. I understand why people gobble up his reviews with a spoon, especially because he doesn’t treat authors with kid gloves. Before I hit it big, I used to love snickering over his blog. It’s always fun to throw stones, until one day you wake up and you’re the target.

It’s his internet-given right to hate my books, and I’d never dream of taking that away from him. But he seems to glory in it. I don’t think it’s just my natural bias; his review of my last book was absolutely vicious, and oddly personal. When I first saw it, I pretty much laughed it off. I mean, the guy doesn’t know me. Imagine the nerve of him, painting me as some impossible harpy based solely on my book. Writing me off as a sexually frustrated, possibly frigid woman just waiting for Prince Charming to come along…I mean, he’s not necessarily wrong about the sexually frustrated part, but the rest? Hell. I’m not waiting for Prince Charming. Not anymore. I’d settle for Prince Tolerable.

I make it a policy not to respond to reviews. They’re for other readers, not for me. I read them, I learn from them, but I know it’s weird and invasive to join a conversation that I’m not meant to be a part of. But M was begging me – literally – to explain myself. I understood it was probably rhetorical, but it was so tempting.

Still. I didn’t take the bait.

At first.

He started needling me on Twitter. Poking and prodding, and I was determined to ignore him, until one night I had a few too many glasses of wine and made the second biggest mistake of my life.

We’ll get to Mistake Number One in a minute.

I actually responded to M. Privately. I knew there was a chance it would end up on his blog anyway, so I was nice enough about it – just told him he could’t expect me to engage with him. I wasn’t that kind of author. If he wanted drama, he’d have to go elsewhere.

He responded privately, which surprised me.

 

I’m not into drama, I just have this morbid fascination with what makes you tick.

 

My heart, for some reason, skipped a few beats.

Okay, so maybe I had a little bit of a weird, twisted crush on this guy. Maybe I’ve had it for a while. I’ve always enjoyed a good dose of snark when it’s well aimed, which is one reason why I feel like such a hypocrite for the way my stomach roils when he writes about me. But it’s only natural. Anyone would feel the same way.

After a few minutes without a response, he messaged me again.

 

The character limit is killing me. Check your FB.

 

Against my better judgment, I did. It took a few minutes, but I wasn’t disappointed.

 

M: Look doll, you know it’s nothing personal, this is just my job. I can’t give people special treatment. You seem like a nice person and a real professional which I appreciate. I don’t make friends with authors because it’s a conflict of interest, but if you want to do an interview for my blog I bet a lot of people would love to see it. Promise I won’t twist your words.

 

An interview? With M? Yeah, right. It would be great exposure, but at what cost? I told him:

 

Thanks, but no thanks. Not interested in your Freudian analysis.

 

I don’t know why that popped out. I guess the fact that he correctly pegged me as sexually frustrated was bothering me more than I realized. He replied:

 

M: Tell me I’m wrong, and I’ll apologize.

 

He knew I couldn’t. Gritting my teeth, I shot back:

 

You’re just playing the odds. Most women are sexually frustrated because most men are terrible in bed. Keep gloating all you want, but the odds are not in your favor.

 

I felt triumphant for all of forty-five seconds before he came back with:

 

M: Where’d you get those statistics from, sunshine? The Institute of Sour Grapes?

 

Damn it. He was just as quick in real time as he was on his blog.

See, the dirty secret of most writers is we need a lot of time to seem clever. I always figured he was one of those, but he seemed to be a true wit, which was infuriating. It took me a while to come up with a response.

 

Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re very good. Or at the very least, you THINK you are, which is all that really matters, right?

 

He started typing back almost immediately.

 

M: I know you expect me to make some kind of crude joke about proving it to you, but I’m not “that guy.”

 

I rolled my eyes.

 

Sure. You don’t need to be. I’m sure you get plenty of action from those desperate groupies.

 

To say that M has fans is an understatement. He presents himself as a moderately attractive, self-confident man in the romance world, so of course he draws attention. It’s easy, like being the only guy in ballet or yoga class. He’s got women hanging on to his every word, and it’s only made his ego swell bigger.

He finally responded.

 

M: I don’t screw around with fans.

 

My eyebrows went up.

 

I didn’t expect you to be so principled.

 

His reply made me chuckle a little.

 

M: It’s not principled. Have you ever fucked someone who worships you? It’s not that fun. Hate sex is always better.

 

It took me a second to realize what he was implying. Unless – no. I was almost positive. M, king of snark, was hitting on me.

What the hell was I going to say?

Finally, I gave up on being clever.

 

I wouldn’t know.

 

Again, his response came quickly.

 

M: Oh. That’s tragic. There’s nothing quite like the turn-on of somebody who hates you, but can’t control how much they want you.

 

I downed the rest of my glass of wine before I answered.

 

I guess I’ve never had the opportunity to find out.

 

Your move, M.

 

M: Too bad. You have a dirty mind. I bet you’re fun in bed if somebody can manage to pry your chastity belt off.

 

My face was burning. I should’ve closed the window, should’ve walked away, but I didn’t.

 

I’m not wearing a chastity belt.

 

All I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears while I waited for him to answer.

 

M: So what ARE you wearing?

 

I swallowed, hard.

 

You’re totally failing at not being “that guy,” you know.

 

There was slight pause before his response.

 

M: At this moment, I find I don’t really care.

 

And then, I made the decision that sealed my fate.

 

Black pencil skirt. No panties.

 

There was another pause before he responded, and I didn’t want to think about why. Except I did. I really, really did.

 

M: I don’t believe you. Keep going.

 

So that’s how it started, with me and M.

I’ll never know what would’ve happened between us if I hadn’t brought up the topic of sex in our first real exchange. Maybe nothing. Or maybe it was an inevitability. The conversation could have died out there, but it didn’t. Instead, we embarked on a torrid, virtual affair that consumes way too much of my time and energy.

Back to the present day. I still haven’t answered his last text, the one about wanting to rip my panties off with his teeth. The last thing I want is to go all jelly-legged with lust while my ex-boyfriend is unpacking in the next room, and I know that’s the effect M has on me.

My phone buzzes again.

 

M: Take them off.

 

My breath catches in my throat. It’s insane, obscene, that this guy can have such an effect on me. We’ve never even met. He has no idea what I look like, beyond a small headshot on my website.

If I’m being honest, that last bit might be my favorite part.

 

I can’t.

 

M: Yes you can.

 

I’m not alone.

 

M: So excuse yourself.

 

How can I explain this situation to M? There’s no way I’m telling him the truth. He’d tell the whole world, and everything would come crashing down.

More importantly, why do I feel like I have to? I always have the option of just telling him to fuck off, and he wouldn’t be able to do a damn thing about it. But I won’t.

Because with M, I’m not just Felicity Warden, frumpy failure with a big ass who only stumbled into success by telling a whopper of a lie. With M, I can be anybody.

There’s a tapping at the door.

“What?” I demand, yanking it open.

“Uh.” Dean clears his throat. “If your parents are coming over here, shouldn’t my stuff be in your room?”

“They’re not going to be snooping,” I insist.

“You want to take that risk?” he asks. “Look, I’ll sleep on the sofa, obviously – but we should at least make it look like we’re living together.”

He has a point. I hate it when he has a point.

My phone buzzes again, and I want to throw it against the wall.

“Sorry,” says Dean. “I don’t mean to interrupt your vigorous texting schedule, but I figured I should hang up my shirts in here.”

I stalk past him and lock myself in the bathroom, pulling out my phone as soon as it’s safe.

 

M: Well?

 

I’m serious. I can’t. I’m wearing jeans anyway.

 

M: Don’t care. Do it. When you feel the seam of the denim pressing into your bare pussy, you’ll think about me.

 

Somehow, in that moment, the sensible corner of my brain kicks in. However brief, it’s enough for me to quickly type:

 

Sorry. I have to go.

 

I lock my phone and shove it back into my pocket, breathing hard.

How did I end up like this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER TWO

Based on a True Story

 

Six Months Ago

 

It all starts with five little words.

Based on a true story.

I’m at the dollar theater with my friend Jack, splitting the bag of popcorn I smuggled in, thanks to my cavernous oversized purse. I feel kind of bad. I know these places barely make any money as it is, and I’m only making things worse by refusing to buy their shrink-wrapped cookies with the pink frosting. But I haven’t sold an article in ages, and Jack is just as broke as I am. He’s been job-hunting for three years now. At this point, filling out applications pretty much is his full-time job.

Me, I’m still holding onto the great American dream: self-employment. Owning a business. Being an entrepreneur. Working from home. Bathrobes. Fuzzy slippers. Mail order groceries. Tequila at nine A.M. I won so many writing awards in college I could wallpaper my living room with them, so why the hell can’t I make my living as a writer?

That question stopped being rhetorical some time ago.

“Hey, stop being greedy.” Jack tries to swat my hand out of the way, nearly overturning the bag in the process.

I squeal at him, saving it just in time. “For God’s sake. You’re like the dog in that fable who drops the bone in the water when he sees his reflection. You stop being greedy, or neither one of us gets any popcorn.” He’s rolling his eyes, but I decide to ignore that. “Besides, I brought it.”

Besides, I brought it,” Jack echoes, in an obnoxious falsetto. “That’s you. That’s what you sound like right now.”

By all rights, I should hate Jack. I met him in a dive bar shortly after Dean left, during one of my brave attempts to “put myself out there.” The sexual chemistry was nil, but we fell hard for each other as friends and have been completely inseparable since. He’s a gorgeous player with a killer smile, but my libido remains stubbornly disinterested. Thankfully, the feeling’s mutual – which is slightly less surprising on his side.

Well, he might be a player, but he’s no Dean. He doesn’t get involved with women who have romantic commitments, and he never breaks hearts on purpose. So he’s got that going for him. I wouldn’t be able to stand his company if he was that kind of scumbag.

“Look. Based on a true story.” Jack points at the screen. “I can’t wait until this comes out on Redbox and we can do a drinking game.”

“We could’ve done one now,” I observe. “Want me to go hit the liquor store across the street? It’s not like they’re searching bags here.”

“It’s eleven-thirty in the morning,” he observes, raising his eyebrow at me. “Have some morals, Warden.”

“Neither of us have jobs, Harrison.” I laugh at him. Thankfully, we’re the only ones in the theater, so we get to enjoy ourselves. “There’s nothing immoral about day-drinking when you have no responsibilities.”

“Yeah, but there is something immoral about me carting your drunk ass home. Never again, I swear. Didn’t even get a blowjob out of it.” He winks at me.

“You want one?” I flick a piece of popcorn at his lap.

“Ask me again in ten years, if we’re both still single.” Suddenly, he sits up straighter. “Shit, I just thought of the best plot for a romantic-comedy-porno ever.”

“Oh, great, I hear that’s a super lucrative genre right now.” I roll my eyes at him. “Okay, so…which part of this is based on a true story?”

“That part,” he says, pointing at the lead actor taking a drink. “One of the family members probably drank soda at some point, right?”

Snickering, I lean back in my seat. “Okay, but seriously. It has to be something more than that.”

“No, it doesn’t.” He turns to look at me. “Wait, are you serious? You actually think they have to back up their claims when they say that? Nobody asks.”

I guess I’ve never thought about it before. “So, you can just make up any bullshit you want and claim it’s true? And nobody can sue you?”

“I mean, as long as it’s not about anyone in particular, sure.” Jack shrugs. “Who cares? Who’s gonna find out?”

The seed of an idea is germinating in my mind. I can’t even focus on the movie when shit starts to go crazy, because I’m still thinking about what Jack said.

Last year, I did try my hand at writing a romance novel. It’s the most lucrative genre in fiction, and I guess I wanted to prove a point to myself. I managed to get some good reviews and make enough to cover the editing costs, but it became very clear that it wasn’t going to be my new career. I just didn’t get it. Clearly, I didn’t understand what the market wanted. I swore I’d never do it again, but now I’m starting to reconsider.

Rom-com porno sounds ridiculous, but in this post Fifty Shades world, I know steamy romance is hugely popular. And “based on a true story” as a hook? I could do a lot worse.

It’s been a while since I tried to write fiction. Before the last novel, it had been even longer. My parents always gently discouraged me from it, saying it was impossible to make a career out of it. Unless I was lucky enough to become the next Stephen King or James Patterson, there were a lot more practical ways to spend my time.

A plot is starting to unwind itself in my mind, and not even the jump scares can shake me out of it. I can already see the movie trailer set to Carolina Liar’s “Show Me What I’m Looking For.” It’s beautiful, sexy, inspiring. I’ll hit every bestseller list, win every award.

“Psst.” Jack snaps his fingers in my face. “Where’d you wander off to?”

“I got an idea,” I tell him, slowly, still staring at the screen but not really seeing it. “An idea for a book.”

 

 

***

Back at home, I nibble on the edge of my fingernail. Am I really going to do this? It’s so easy: just five little words. A lie, but a harmless one. I’m not even pretending to be an addict or a trauma survivor or anything like that, and besides, people lie like this all the time. Like the people who made that movie. They don’t expect me to believe some family was really terrorized by a demon that was attached to a haunted doll, do they? It’s artistic license. It’s an acceptable falsehood.

Nobody will ever know.

I’ve already got a perfectly serviceable pen name, with one sad, languishing book I never bothered to un-publish. So why not? What’s stopping me?

I crack my knuckles, and then I start to type.

The book begins to form before my eyes. I call it Mergers & Acquisitions, because I’m being terribly clever. Boy meets girl, boy and girl are competing for the same job, claws out, sex – and eventually love – ensues. It’s pretty standard stuff, but the hook gives it more depth. More character.

Fake character. But character all the same.

As I write, I let pieces of my personality seep into the main character-slash-author. I am Lana DeVane, and Lana is me. The hero, Damien, is everything I know the reading public wants. Dominant, demanding, arrogant. Sexy and loyal as hell. Smart and sarcastic and successful. By the end, I’m practically in love with him. Too bad guys like that don’t seem to exist. Particularly the “loyal” part.

Anyway, readers love it. Just as I thought, they love him even more than I do. Sometimes my predictions actually come true.

Of course, I didn’t predict that within two months of publishing the book, I’d have the opportunity to be interviewed for an online news segment about successful romance author-entrepreneurs. One I couldn’t pass up. I don’t use my real name, but I have no choice but to use my real face.

And they want to meet the guy.

Well, it’s only natural.

Jack is the first person I ask, of course. He laughs in my face and tells me he’s not getting mixed up in my drama. Sometimes that guy is just too damn smart.

That only leaves one option, really.

Dean.

Ugh.

We’re still on civil terms, more or less, in spite of everything. And he’ll probably feel obligated enough to say yes. We’ve got a history. We can fake the chemistry easily enough.

Harmless, right?

Of course, I also don’t predict that one of my sisters will stumble across the video and discover my secret identity. And that my whole family is going to read the damn book and completely lose their minds, wanting to get to know this amazing, romantic specimen of a man.

They’ve met Dean at a few holiday get-togethers, but they always seemed to have trouble remembering his name. As a middle child among six siblings, it’s easy to overlook me. And I’ve never really minded it – at least, that’s what I tell myself.

The interview was a cakewalk. I booked us a few author appearances and book signings for next year, making sure he could get the time off work. Pfft. No big deal. We’ll just keep playing this game until people forget about my book, or I publish a new one, whichever comes sooner. Putting on a show for the reading public is easy.

Putting on a show for my family? Well. That’s a horse of a different color.

***

Six months after that fateful day in the theater, I’m suppressing the urge to kick myself. Hard.

Under the table, because otherwise my parents might notice.

My dad is one of those guys who always looks like a doctor. It doesn’t matter what he’s wearing, you can’t help but picture him in a white coat and a stethoscope. My mom slightly less so, but that’s mostly because of the celebratory nose stud she got after my baby sister was born. They’re actually both doctors; my dad specializes in internal medicine, and my mom specializes in podiatry. They both specialize in a total inability to seem interested in my life.

“It’s so nice to see you again,” my mom says to Dean for the third time. “Now, I’m sorry, you’ll have to remind me – what line of work did you say you’re in?”

“Murders and executions, mostly,” I mutter under my breath. But apparently my mother hasn’t started losing her hearing yet.

“What’s that, honey?” she asks mildly, poking at her plain steamed fillet of fish.

I shake my head, immediately regretting it. “Nothing, Mom. Just a joke.”

“I want to know the joke!” She takes a sip of her wine.

“It’s from a movie,” says Dean helpfully. “American Psycho.”

“Oh,” my mom intones. “What’s that about?”

“A successful businessman who’s also a serial killer,” I tell her.

“Oh no! That’s terrible.” She tsks, taking another suspicious look at her fish. “Why would anyone make a movie about that?”

My dad sighs. “It’s not a true story, Bea. Just a horror movie. You don’t have to act so shocked.”

“It’s a comedy, actually,” Dean puts in.

I kick his shin under the table. Not hard, but enough to make a point.

“What’s so funny about killing people?” My mom knits her eyebrows, shaking her head at me. “I swear, I never understood your sense of humor.”

“Anyway, the joke is that Felicity has no idea what I do,” Dean says, patting my hand. “Just that I’m in ‘business.’ And really, that’s good enough. The details are boring. I don’t even like talking about it.”

“Oh, busy businessman!” My mom’s already gone through most of the bottle of wine, and she hasn’t even started on her entrée yet. Probably because it’s slightly more exotic than unflavored oatmeal, and she hasn’t quite decided what to make of it. “Good for you. Felicity was always so artsy, I figured she’d end up with somebody like her.”

Artsy. It’s her nice way of saying scatterbrained. Which is true, fair enough – I spent about twenty minutes looking for a matching pair of earrings this morning before I gave up and went without. But that doesn’t make me any less of a functional human being, most of the time. I’m not sure why my mother thinks it would be more virtuous to fight my space-cadet nature and go into some field with lots of math, where I’d probably end up accidentally killing people – but it was a major point of contention in my childhood. She wasn’t too happy about my brothers going into mechanical trades, but at least it was something practical.

Thankfully, my oldest sister took the pressure off all of us by showing the proper amount of interest in medicine from a young age. While I drew epic cartoon stories and my brothers tried to take apart the lawn mower, my sister played “hospital” with all her dolls lined up in makeshift toilet paper bandages. Predictably, she loved biology in high school, and before long she was accepted into a prestigious medical school and well on her way to the only career path my parents truly understand.

For me, “become a doctor” was only a slightly less realistic goal than “build a homestead on Mars.” I was simply missing whatever gene Tabby has, the one that’s gratified by studying diseases and muscle groups and the names of all the tiny bones in your ear.

I love my family. I do. But after a lifetime of being the inexplicable middle child, the one my parents always mentioned last when they caught up with friends and extended family – “oh, Felicity, she’s just…she’s still showing a lot of interest in telling stories, so we’re hoping she’ll take up journalism or technical writing, you know? But the most important thing is that she’s happy…”

I’m just over it.

They’re proud of me, of course. But I still always feel like I’m on the other side of the glass at the zoo, and while they gawk and appreciate, they’ll never understand.

“It’s so romantic, the story of how you two got together,” my mother says, a little dreamily. When my father gives her a sharp look, she rolls her eyes. “Don’t worry, I won’t bring up anything embarrassing. I skimmed over those parts anyway.”

“It’s not all based on fact,” I point out, suddenly feeling a hot blush creeping up the back of my neck. I’ve managed to avoid thinking about my mother reading sex scenes I wrote, but the look on her face tells me that she might not be completely truthful about the “skimming” thing.

“Stop it,” my dad mutters. “You’re embarrassing her.”

It’s tempting to face-plant into my lasagna, but somehow, I resist the urge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER THREE

Master

 

We’re finally home, after the longest two hours of my life.

By which I mean, of course, that I’m home. I didn’t even live here when I was with Dean, but it’s all too easy to fall into old mindsets all the same.

“I don’t think I can handle another dinner with your mom wondering if my penis is shaped like the guy in the book,” he mutters, raking his hands through his hair.

“I’m sure she was not doing that,” I insist. “Probably.”

Dean groans, flopping back on the sofa. “I’m really starting to regret saying I would do this. Can’t we invent some kind of emergency that sends me out of town?”

Glaring at him, I sprawl on the lounge chair across the room. “Are you really giving me a hard time? This is the least you can do.”

“Fuck’s sake, Lissy.” He scrubs his hands across his face. “Don’t start this again. I’m happy to be here. Really. I’m happy to help you out. I know what you think about me these days, but…”

He drifts off, gazing at the floor, seeming to think better of whatever he was about to say.

“But?” I prompt him, tone softening slightly.

“But I still care about you,” he says, glancing at me. “You were the most important person in my life for five years, I can’t just throw that away.”

And now I’m not the most important person in anybody’s life.

The thought comes, unwelcome, and I can’t seem to push it aside.

Sighing, I curl up, drawing my knees into my chest. “Well, that’s nice.” I’m honestly not quite sure if I’m being sarcastic.

“And I know you care about me, too,” he prompts. “Because otherwise you would’ve just hired a gigolo.”

A burst of laughter escapes before I can stop it. “Shit. I could’ve written that off as research, probably.”

“Sure. Tell the IRS you’re hiring hookers. What could go wrong?” Dean shrugs, and it all comes back in a rush. The sadness, the regret. I remember now why I loved him so much. We had that rapport. We just got along so well – like two people who were meant to be together.

Too bad he turned out to be a liar and a cheater and a general, all-purpose scumbag.

I still can’t reconcile what I know about Dean with the man sitting in front of me. It’s never made sense to me. I’ve never quite accepted it, never been able to wrap my head all the way around his betrayal.

It’s not like him.

I’m letting his unasked question – do I still care about him? – linger in the air. I don’t know the answer, and I don’t want to. Of course I still care about him as a human being, more or less. I’d drag him out of a burning building just as readily as I’d drag anyone else. Maybe because I’m too compassionate, or maybe, just maybe…

No. I can’t let myself have doubts. Not now. The past is the past, and if he was innocent, then why did he leave? Innocent people don’t walk away from relationships like that. He had “guilty conscience” written all over him.

Goddamn it. I want to forget. After all this time, there’s still a part of me that wants to just crawl over to the sofa and curl up in his arms. Pretend that I’ve forgotten everything that’s come between us. I just want to feel him breathing, hear his heartbeat.

I want to make love. Maybe it wasn’t always the best sex in the world, but at least it felt like it meant something. Even if that was a lie, I didn’t know back then. It seemed real. It seemed right.

Warden, don’t do this now.

Get yourself together.

Any day now.

 

***

After Dean goes to bed, I finally feel brave enough to check my phone again. I know M’s going to be mad, that’s a given. The only question is why I care so much.

It’s just a silly game. That’s all. It’s fun, it’s an escape, and it’s completely harmless. I can stop anytime I want to.

Right.

He only sent me two messages after I started ignoring him earlier.

 

M: Lana?

 

And then:

 

M: ?

 

Two messages in four hours, that means he’s pissed for sure. I should just ignore it. I should delete this damn anonymous messaging app, block him on every social media profile I have, and move on with my life. Instead, I text him back.

 

I had to go to dinner.

 

It takes me a few tries to delete the “sorry” from the beginning of the message. He doesn’t need an apology. I haven’t done anything wrong. But I still feel like I ought to apologize, and I don’t know why.

 

M: Really?

 

What?

 

M: You know how I feel about being ignored.

 

I told you. I was busy.

 

M: You’re always busy. That shouldn’t get in the way of our arrangement. How long have we been doing this, Lana?

 

I don’t know.

 

M: Four months, Lana. Every day, for four months now, I’ve spent at least a little bit of my time thinking about how to shock you. Surprise you. Pleasure you. And this is the thanks I get.

 

You know my situation.

 

M: You always made plenty of time for me before.

 

I want to say something else, to make up more excuses, but my stomach’s already in knots over it. You see, M thinks my book is a true story. Like everyone else, he thinks me and “Damien” are actually a couple. He thinks I’m in love, committed, deeply attached to another man. And yet he’s happy to do this with me.

Scumbag.

It’s amazing how much I don’t care, when he says just the right thing to turn me on. It’s amazing how little it matters, when it’s just about sex. But it’s starting to feel like more than that.

Keep it together, Warden.

I’m so starved for a meaningful emotional attachment with another human being, I’m actually starting to…

I can’t. It’s M. For fuck’s sake.

I finally respond.

 

I’m not making any more excuses. Take it or leave it.

 

M: Doesn’t work like that.

 

What the hell does that mean?

 

I think it works however I want it to work.

 

M: Wrong. That’s not why you’re doing this.

 

Oh, really? Why don’t you tell me more about my private thoughts and motivations. I’m fascinated.

 

M: You have to play the competent entrepreneur in your real life, and you do it well, but it scares you. It’s all new. It’s nothing you were ever prepared for. What if you fuck up? All the responsibility is on your head. You need a place to go and rid yourself of all that responsibility. A place where someone tells you to jump, and all you have to do is ask how high. You need a release. And you think I’m the man to give it to you.

 

I blink at the screen a few times.

 

You’re nuts.

 

M: Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

 

I love it when you talk nerdy to me.

 

M: Take off your panties.

 

Why should I?

 

M: Because you want to. But you need someone to give you permission.

 

God, I hate him.

 

You don’t know anything about what I want.

 

M: If only that were true. You think I enjoy dealing with you and your bratty attitude? It’s basically charity work. I’m compelled to help you like the good Samaritan I am. That man of yours certainly isn’t scratching that itch.

 

This is the first time he’s directly referenced Damien. There’s a sour taste in my mouth, but I’m still throbbing between my legs.

Because he’s right. I want it. I want all of it. I don’t even know what I want, and that’s the point. He knows, so I don’t have to. How does he have that power over me?

Obviously it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. What I really want is to follow orders, and he’s just exceptionally good at giving them. He’s inside my head, convincing me of my own desires so seamlessly that my libido can’t even tell the difference.

I feel a little bit lightheaded. As I unbutton my jeans, another message comes in.

 

M: Don’t touch yourself.

 

Damn it.

Not only has he anticipated my next move, he’s aware that I’m already following his orders without having to be told again. I hate being a foregone conclusion. I hate how well he knows me, better than I know myself.

How is that even possible?

More importantly: How am I going to function with another human being up in my space? Dean is sleeping just a few feet away, through a way-too-thin wall. I keep reminding myself that I just need to get through my parents’ visit, but those two weeks are going to feel like an eternity. M’s influence over my life has grown so gradually, weaving itself into every moment, every breath, that I didn’t realize how insidious it was until now.

I step out of my panties and shove them into the hamper before shimmying back into my jeans. The fabric rasping against my sensitive flesh is uncomfortable, but in a really nice way. I glance at myself in the mirror – my face flushed, eyes so dilated they look black. My heart races, and I feel like I’m balanced on a razor’s edge.

Almost like I could…

I tap out a message to M.

 

I need to know if I have your permission.

 

M: Are you that close?

 

I think so.

 

M: You have my permission to come, so long as you don’t use your hands. Or anything else. Just squeeze those gorgeous thighs together and rock into the feeling.

 

I sit down on the edge of the bed. Now that I know I’m allowed to, a rush of arousal leaves me weak-kneed and quivering. I close my eyes and follow his instructions, slowly rocking back and forth so that the stiff seam of the fabric rubs where I need it most.

My phone buzzes and I force my eyes open again.

 

M: You’ll never come again without thinking of me.

 

When the pleasure explodes, low in my belly, I curse softly. I’m cursing at him even though he can’t hear me.

I’m determined to prove him wrong, though a part of me fears he’s not.

Click here to download the entire book:

The Absolutely True Story of Us

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They thinks she’s found the love of her life, and she’s determined not to let them find out the truth…
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    The Absolutely True Story of Us

    by Melanie Marchande

    The Absolutely True Story of Us
    4.7 stars – 69 Reviews
    Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled

    Here’s the set-up:

    There are only two people in the world that I truly hate. One of them is unpacking his toothbrush in my bathroom, and the other one is texting me to find out what color my panties are.

    Pathetic, I know. I’m a romance novelist caught between the man I used to love, and the one who wants to destroy my career. Well – maybe “destroy” is too strong of a word. But there’s still no excuse for why I started a secret cyber-affair with a snarky reviewer who likes to rip my books apart. Yes, he’s mysterious, and yes, he has a silver tongue, but I can’t keep doing this.

    I have to focus on my fake relationship, with my *real* ex, all in the name of fooling my family. They think I’ve found the love of my life, and I’m determined not to let them find out the truth.

    That I lied. That my “dream guy” is really a selfish dirtbag who broke my heart. That the closest thing I have to a soulmate is a stranger on the internet, who’s happy to sext me while believing I’m in a committed relationship.

    It all started with five little words.

    Based on a true story…

    5-star Amazon reviews:

    “The book is full of emotions, hot sexy moments and some very big aha moments for both Dean and Felicity. I really enjoyed the book. and who oh who is the mysterious M. arrogant, bossy and just a wee bit sexy!”

    “I couldn’t put this book down. Its fun, witty, sexy as hell with a few cringe worthy moment thrown in…”

    Click here to visit Melanie Marchande’s Amazon author page

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    Saint Agnes’ Eve – A classic case of mistaken identity and spellbound soul mates, new from Tom Lazenby, author of The Seal

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    Saint Agnes’ Eve

    by Tom Lazenby

    Saint Agnes
    5.0 stars – 1 Reviews
    Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
    Here’s the set-up:

    Holly Likewise has a dream; an extraordinary dream of her future romance with the mystery man whom she is destined to marry. With eyes like the sky and a face like no other (or so she thinks), he’s a true gift from above. And, though still asleep, she’s never felt more alive in her life. For a moment, everything seems perfect. But upon awakening, Holly quickly realizes that her midnight honeymoon has been cut all-too short. Strangely disappointed by the sudden disappearance of her undercover lover, Holly dismisses her nighttime vision as mere fancy; a product of her mother’s stories about destiny and the legend of Saint Agnes’ Eve. At thirty-three years old and prone to disbelief, she has no time for games. Moreover, her busy New York City lifestyle and less than stellar love life have left her feeling slightly depressed about her future. But when she comes face to face with the darkly handsome man she saw in her dream, Holly begins to believe that there might be something to the legend after all.Jimmy Cavanaugh has a plan; a master plan to rob a safe holding one million dollars of unclaimed cash from one of the biggest pimps in Las Vegas. From there, he’s on his way to New York City to visit his estranged brother, Jake, while waiting for his passport to come through. Ready to live out the rest of his life on Easy Street, Jimmy’s made the score of a lifetime. With places to go and money to burn, he quickly proceeds to cut a reckless path of uninhibited pleasure across the glittering landscape of the concrete jungle. But somehow trouble still manages to find him, and Jimmy soon discovers that leaving behind a life of crime isn’t as easy as he thought.

    Jake Cavanaugh has a problem. Not only is he being pressured by his demanding twenty-something fiancée to trade in his life as a struggling artist and part-time bartender for a new job selling luxury cars at her workaholic father’s Scarsdale dealership, but his whole life is about to be turned upside down when he gets a surprise visit from his recently paroled, trouble-making twin brother. With things getting crazier by the minute, Jake resigns himself to the seemingly unavoidable fact that his path is destined to take a dramatic turn for the worse. Between his backsliding brother and badgering bride-to-be, his future seems uncomfortably set; until an unexpected encounter with an enchanting illustrator rekindles his desperate passion for art and for the undying love they are destined to share.

    In a classic case of mistaken identity and spellbound soul mates, Saint Agnes’ Eve tells the tale of a modern-day romance inspired by a medieval legend, and brings to light the dawning reality that (for two star-crossed lovers) dreams really do come true.

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      And here, for your reading pleasure, is our free romance excerpt:

    PROLOGUE

    Jimmy Cavanaugh sat outstretched on a broken lounge chair by the motel pool feeling completely at ease with the world around him.  It had been nearly three months since he had gotten out of the clink, and the motel had been his residence ever since.  The Easy Ace Motel was the kind of place for people who wanted everything and had nothing.  The rooms were cruddy, the staff sleazy, and the patrons slick.  The pool was the nicest thing about it; the water clean, clear, and limpid.  It was an attractive enticement to potential sojourners.  The one area that had been untainted by the grime that threatened to take over the entire establishment.  The one spot where you could dream of a better life.  And Jimmy had done that more than once.

     

    He took a long pull on his gin and tonic as he watched the palm trees (five of them, one next to the other) swaying back and forth in the warm Nevada wind; their dark fronds, silhouetted against light blue and purple colored sky, shimmied and shook like fringe-skirted hula dancers.  It was nearing six O’clock and the sun had dwindled submissively to the horizon, leaving scattered strands of bright pink clouds in its wake.  Jimmy smiled at the passing of the day.  Tomorrow, if all went right, he would be a rich man.

     

    Vicky had told him all about it.  One million dollars.  Maybe more.  All waiting for him to pick up.  The plan was perfect.  Vicky would drive him into the house, go to dinner with her fat slob of a husband, and Jimmy would rob it.  It was so simple, it almost sounded too good to be true.  But it was.  He had spent the last two weeks planning the job.  From Vicky’s description, he figured the safe to be a typical steel wall, dial combination lock.  Not wanting to leave anything to chance, Jimmy had gone out and purchased a high-speed electric drill with carbaloid bits, a four-foot crowbar, and a portable oxyacetylene cutting torch.  With the tools he had in tow, he figured the job would take him a half an hour at the most.  It was a gamble which involved a considerable amount of risk.  But he was willing to risk it all for a shot at the big time.

     

    Jimmy simpered as he sat in his chair, recollecting the sordid past that had led him to this fateful moment of opportunity.  His whole life had been a constant gamble since leaving New York.  As a child, his father had always told him life wasn’t fair.  Jimmy had decided to make it fair game.  He hadn’t wanted to settle for a decent living.  He always had his mind set on getting the big prize; hitting the jackpot, by whatever road he had to take—even if it meant breaking the law.  It had been many years since he had taken that first step into the world of crime.  A world of outlaws and derelicts; danger and deception.   A world with no limits.  No barriers.  And it didn’t discriminate.  It appealed to everyone from white-collar businessmen to the junkie on the street.  There was only one prerequisite a man had to have before entering into a life of crime: balls.  Big friggin’ balls.  Most of the time more balls than brains, but those were usually the ones who got caught.  Jimmy smirked.  It was a lesson he had learned the hard way.  His youthful indiscretions had landed him behind bars more than once, and he wasn’t about to go down that road again.  Like any other business, time was money, and he had done his fair share of wasting both.

     

    When he had finished his drink, Jimmy got up off the chair and trudged lazily back into the squalid motel room.  Turning on the light, he felt the familiar sensation of being transported back into the not-so-distant past.  The lime green shag carpet and brushed chrome lava lamps dated the room to circa 1965.  The flimsy wallpaper consisted of a saffron yellow floral design which gradually faded then darkened into a grim sepia around the edges.  The dim overhead light and decrepit ceiling fan conspired to decapitate any resident attempting to adjust the speed or replace the bulb.  All in all, the room presented a stark exhibition of tawdry décor that reflected the unchecked self-indulgence of its psychedelic heyday.

     

    Jimmy moved slowly across the living room floor and made his way into the bathroom.  He needed a shower.  Graffiti etched in by a knife on the bathroom wall read, Frank Sinatra was here.  Jimmy smirked.  No doubt the place had gone downhill since Old Blue Eyes last set foot on the property.  He spent five minutes in the shower before the water went cold.  Piece of shit motel.

     

    When he had finished his shower, he toweled off then walked slowly back into the main room.  The suitcase atop the bed contained everything he owned in the world.  He checked his plane ticket, set to leave tomorrow night.  He would miss Vegas.  The lights.  The sleaze.  And, of course, the action.  But it didn’t matter.  He would be getting plenty of action where he was going; especially if he pulled off this job.

     

    He checked the room over once more.  He wanted to make sure he didn’t leave any trace of himself behind.  His whole life was about to change.  No more flea-bitten motels.  No more fly-by-night “career opportunities” set up by his parole officer.  This time it would be different.  He was going to set himself up right.  And this time, it would be for life.

     

     

    CHAPTER 1

     

    The alarm clock went off at six A.M. sharp, spewing forth a discordant shriek of garbled voices and heavy static that fought to rouse the living from their secret slumber.  Holly Likewise threw her arm out of bed and smacked it into submission.  Normally the clock would’ve been set for five-thirty but she had been up most of the night working and had needed the extra sleep.   She considered lying there for just five more minutes but knew it was probably a bad idea.  She couldn’t be late.  In exactly two hours from now she was scheduled to submit her latest sketches for the February issue of New Style Magazine.  The theme for the month was, “The Vintage of Valentine’s Day,” and Holly had spent the better part of her evening filling in the twenty or so outlines she had done detailing the classic cuts of bygone couture that epitomized the spirit of the season.  With a reluctant sense of delayed obligation, she moaned in disgust, opened her eyes, and dragged herself out of bed.

     

    Standing in the center of the room, she reached down and touched her toes (a sort of wake up ritual she had practiced for the past five years; the day she couldn’t touch her toes was the day she was starting to get old) then made her way to the bathroom.  Turning on the light, she tossed her white silk pajamas into the hamper, stepped into the shower, and lost herself in the hot stream of water.  Ten minutes later she stepped out onto the cold tile, wrapped her body in a towel, and looked at herself in the mirror.  Alive again.  Her fair skin seemed to glow under the wide awning of light bulbs that spanned the top horizon of silvered-glass; her green eyes shining clear and bright.  Holly smiled.  The extra sleep always did her skin a world of good.  Though she would never be mistaken for a supermodel, she felt blessed by the fact that she didn’t have to cake her face with make-up every morning to look pretty.

     

    She quickly toweled off, brushed her shoulder-length red hair (which looked almost brown when wet) then headed back into the bedroom.  She went over to the closet and put on a pair of tan slacks and a cream colored cardigan.  Once dressed, she picked up her keys, slung her purse over her shoulder and was out the door.

     

    After exiting the building, she made her way up to East 87th street and hailed a taxi.  Once settled into the back of the cab, Holly took out her cell phone from her purse and switched it on, signaling the start of her work day.  A few moments passed before she saw she had a new voice message from Greg.  Holly pressed the single button, which instantly dialed her voicemail, and waited.  You have one new voice message and six saved messages.  New message:

     

    Hi Holly, it’s Greg.  It’s about a quarter after ten, you’re probably asleep.  I really don’t have much time to talk right now; I’ve got to catch a flight.  I just wanted to call to say that, I, uh…I don’t think I can see you anymore.  Please don’t take this the wrong way, I think you’re great.  But when it comes down to it, I just don’t think we have enough in common to form a lasting relationship.  I think it’s best that we quit while we’re ahead.  Excuse the message, but I thought this would be the easiest way for the both of us to end this.  I hope you meet someone who you really connect with in the future.   Okay, well, I guess that’s it.  Take care of yourself, ya hear.  Okay, well, Bye.

     

    That was how it went.  It was over, just like that.  Six months of her romantic life down the drain.  Holly fought the urge to shed a few tears.  Maybe it was for the best.  But, at the moment, it certainly didn’t feel that way.

     

    She had been seeing Greg since August.  The relationship had gotten off to a lukewarm start.  He had a good job working for a Swiss bank in the city and was always traveling somewhere or another.  Initially, she had not found him all that attractive but he had somehow managed to win her over with his strong personality.  Strong was the only word she could equate with it.  He had been exceedingly forward when it came to his plans for the future and what he wanted out of his romantic life; marriage purportedly being his primary intention.  She had waited until their fifth date before she had accepted his offer to go back to his apartment.  He had kept her at an arm’s length after that; always calling to cancel dinner dates and leaving town in a hurry.  When he had finally mustered up the decency to see her again, he told her about an offer he had received to move to Zurich for work.  From then on she had known it was only a matter of time.

     

    Holly, all of a sudden, felt like utter crap.  She needed someone to talk to.  And it wasn’t her boss.

     

    She phoned her job and said she was sick, then told the cabbie to take her over to Forest Hills.  Twenty minutes later, the cab dropped her off in front of her mom’s apartment building.  Holly stepped into the foyer and approached the intercom, then pushed the button next to the name, “B. Likewise.”  A few moments went by before she heard the familiar voice.

     

    “Who is it?”

     

    “Ma, it’s me.  Buzz me in.”

     

    “How do I know it’s you?”

     

    “Ma, it’s me!” Holly said, astonished.

     

    “You didn’t use the secret code.”

     

    Holly shook her head in good humored frustration.  The Code.  Six depressions of the button; three and three, separated by a short pause.  Holly proceeded to press it three times, waited a moment, then pressed it another three.  Finally, she heard the buzz.  Holly opened the door and entered the building.  She made her way over to the elevator and pressed the button.  A ten second wait and she stepped onto the platform.  As the lift ascended, the shaft echoed with the ominous sounds of creaking cables and screeching wheels.  Holly felt a sudden uneasiness surround her as the elevator bucked nervously and the lights flickered like wildfire.  She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer.  Just five more floors to go.  Thirty turbulent seconds later, the doors opened and she jumped out.

     

    She quickly made her way down the hall and around a corner.  When she reached the apartment, Holly raised her hand to knock but the door opened before her knuckles could make contact.

     

    “Honey, it’s good to see ya!”

     

    Barbara Likewise was the epitome of unhindered ebullience at the sight of her daughter in the threshold.  She was dressed in a light purple blouse with a hibiscus print that seemed more apropos for a Hawaiian luau than a New York winter.  Holly smiled at the getup.  Her mother had always stressed the importance of keeping a positive attitude, and her sartorial penchant for bright colors seemed to reflect her cheerful disposition.

     

    Holly thought her mother looked absolutely fabulous for her age.  At sixty-two, Barbara Likewise still had the slim, willowy figure of a ballet dancer.  She wore her hair in a stylishly cropped blonde bob that fell in tousled layers just below her chin.  Her face had hardly a line on it and the white strands that speckled her light blonde hair seemed to be virtually unnoticeable in the light.

     

    She gave Holly a quick hug and a kiss then smiled a wide grin that threatened to swallow her whole.

     

    “Hi, Mom.”

     

    “C’mon in, I’m making breakfast.”

     

    Holly stepped into the apartment and followed her mother down the short hallway with the purple runner.  The Christmas tree still stood proudly in one corner of the living room, though nearly a month had past.  Plastic branches festooned with colorful glass bulbs and glittering strands of silver and gold tinsel reached out from all sides, silently awaiting the season’s end.

     

    She followed her mother through the living room into her glorified nook of a kitchen.  Holly sat down at the kitchen table and watched as her mom fixed a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast with orange marmalade.  The sight of her mother busy at work conjured memories of her early childhood at home in Connecticut.  Though it had been many years since she had last set foot on the property, the three bedroom, raised ranch of her youth had been permanently etched into her subconscious as a solemn symbol of warmth and security.  Holly smiled.  She had fond memories of growing up in the Nutmeg State and, on many occasions, had found herself considering the possibility of returning there one day to raise a family of her own.

     

    “Why haven’t you called?  I’ve been worried sick about you,” her mother asked, scraping eggs off the pan onto a plate.

     

    “Sorry.  I’ve been really busy lately.”

     

    “You and your career.  You know, you’re going to burn yourself out if you’re not careful.”

     

    “Mom, I gotta pay my bills.”

     

    “I know, but that’s still no excuse.”

     

    Holly shrugged, staring at the plate of food her mother had placed in front of her.

     

    “So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Barbara asked, taking a seat at the table.

     

    “Nothing’s wrong.”

     

    “C’mon.  I know you better than that.  First you take the day off work to come see me and now you’re not eating.  That tells me something ain’t right in wonderland.”

     

    “Greg and I broke up.”

     

    “Greg?  What happened to Lewis?”

     

    Holly rolled her eyes at the mention of his name.  Two weeks before meeting Greg, Holly had agreed to go out with Lewis, the son of her mother’s friend.  Over the course of dinner, she had discovered Lewis to be a silly man of thirty-eight who had left his job as a lawyer to enroll in clown school.  Since then, he had eked out a living performing in a few travelling circuses and various private parties around the Tri-state area.  Holly was not impressed.

     

    “What was wrong with Lewis?  He was a lawyer.”

     

    “He was a clown, Ma.  And I mean that literally.”

     

    “Well, my friend Rose has a son who’s single.”

     

    “Ma, please.  I don’t need you to set me up with anyone.  I’d just like to try and meet someone on my own.”

     

    Someone with class.  Someone with style.  Someone like no one she had ever met before.  A man with a warm heart, a keen mind, and a firm grasp of his place in the world.  Of course, good looks and a great job never hurt, but that was secondary.  From her past experiences on the New York dating scene, Holly had come to realize that high salaries and fancy suits didn’t mean anything when it came to character.

     

    “Don’t worry about it too much.  You’ve got plenty of time.”

     

    “I’m thirty-three years old, Ma.  Forty’s right around the corner.”

     

    “Well, the clock’s still ticking.  Hey, you know what tonight is?” Barbara asked, changing the subject.

     

    “No.  What’s tonight?”

     

    “It’s Saint Agnes’ Eve.  Remember when you were little you used to get so excited?”

     

    Holly arched her eyebrows.  “I used to get excited when you told me the tooth fairy was coming too.”

     

    “I remember you jumping into bed as a little girl.  You didn’t want to miss a minute of your dream.  You couldn’t wait to see your future husband.

     

    “But I never did see him, Ma.  Most of my dreams turned out to be nightmares.”

     

    “Well maybe you weren’t ready for dreams about marriage.”

     

    “Maybe I didn’t see him because it’s just a stupid legend.”

     

    Barbara leaned back in her chair, feigning surprise.  “Well, look at you.  All grown up and not an ounce of fantastical belief left in you.  Did I ever tell you how I met your father?”

     

    “Mom, you told me this story a hundred times.  You met him at a New Year’s Eve party and you couldn’t stand him.  But three weeks later, on Saint Agnes’ Eve, you had a dream that you were going to marry him, so you did.”

     

    “And it was the best decision I ever made.”

     

    “Not everyone’s that lucky, Mom.”

     

    “Patience, honey.  You’ll find the right guy for you.”

     

    Holly gave a small smile as the words passed from her mother’s lips.  Though she always meant well, Holly knew her mom could never really relate to her own predicament.  And, deep down, Barbara knew it too.  She had been married herself at twenty-three to a wonderful man who had been the love of her life.  She had never had to worry about things like dating or searching endlessly for “The One.”  Looking back on it all, that part of her life—finding the perfect husband—had been rather easy.  She had always considered their relationship to be special; even more than special.  It was simply meant to be.  From the very first moment she had met Darren, she knew her life would never be the same.  Though their first actual encounter had been less than magical, he had left her with a vivid impression that had aroused her curiosity to the point where simply forgetting about him was not an option.  Consequently, she had been utterly annoyed when she had caught herself thinking about him periodically throughout the next day.  And equally surprised when (having found her number through the student directory at Hunter) she had received a phone call from him later that evening.  His humble, if not slightly awkward, request for a date had seemed delightfully charming at the time and had succeeded in dispelling any reservations she had harbored the night before.  As it turned out, agreeing to see him had been one of the smartest moves of her life.  After just three weeks of dating, she had found herself head-over-heels in love, and wondering how such a thing could have happened so fast.  Eighteen months later she had graduated from college with a diploma in her hand and an engagement ring on her finger.  They had been married in September of that year, and six years later she had given birth to their only child.

     

    Barbara felt a sudden upwelling of emotion at the thought of Darren Likewise, the love they had shared, and the life they had built together.  Their marriage had been an affair for the ages, a special union blessed by God and written in the stars for all to see.  He had been everything she had ever wanted in a man and had provided her with a lifetime of happiness.  Sadly—tragically—that lifetime had been cut all-too short.  After twenty-six years of marriage, she had found herself heartbroken and alone.  Though Holly had offered to postpone college to remain in the house, Barbara had insisted on her daughter getting an education without any interruption.  The loss of her husband had been a devastating blow to both of them.  But it had happened, and they had gradually come to terms with the radical twist of fate that had changed their lives forever.

     

    As her thoughts returned to the present, Barbara felt a strong sense of concern as she smiled at her beloved daughter.  She had been praying that Holly would meet a good man.  A man who could offer her the kind of love and devotion she had experienced with Darren.  Though Holly had chosen to play the role of the independent career woman, Barbara knew she would like to get married.  She had never failed to notice the subtle signs of uneasiness Holly had about the future.  And she had begun to worry for her.  She had tried to give advice in small doses of carefully worded suggestions.  But she knew when to leave it well enough alone.  It was a different generation, with a new set of rules.  And Barbara had been out of the game for a long, long time.

     

    She often felt regretful for not having another child; a sibling for Holly who would be there for her, and vice versa, when the going got tough.  Thankfully she had aunts, and uncles, and cousins.  Lots of cousins.  Most of them within a two hundred mile radius of the city, though some had grown tired of the winters and decided to move west.  But whether it was the hustle and bustle of New York or the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, she would always have family.  And family—after all was said and done—was what mattered most.

     

    ***

     

    It was nearly nine when Holly got back to her apartment.  After leaving her mother’s place at noon, she had caught a cab back into the city and spent the rest of the day at the movies.  Sadly, the triple feature of romantic comedies had done little to lift her spirits.  So much for romance.  She fingered through her keys until she found the right one then unlocked the door.  She was cold and tired and couldn’t wait to fall into a soft, warm bed.  As she stepped inside she heard the familiar purr and meow from her cat Mittens, a black tabby with white paws.

     

    “Yes, sweetheart, I’m home.”

     

    She picked up Mittens with both hands, cradling her like a small child.  Holly carried her into the kitchen, opened up a can of Fancy Feast and set it on the floor.  After feeding the cat, she poured herself a glass of red wine and looked over her apartment.  Her living room was tastefully decorated with a unique assortment of antique furniture and modern art.  Outside the window snow fell in dusty white flakes, sparkling like stardust under the silver moon.  Holly smiled.  Though the Upper East Side spread was costing her an arm and a leg, she made sure that after juggling multiple assignments and putting in countless ten hour workdays, she returned to a comfortable home.

     

    When she had finished with her drink, Holly threw her coat over the living room couch then strode down the hall to the bathroom.  She quickly flossed and brushed her teeth, washed her face and combed her hair.  Then she headed for the bedroom.  She had endured a lousy day and was determined to get a good night’s sleep.

     

    As she changed into her pajamas, she remembered her mother’s words about the Eve of Saint Agnes.   “Pray to Saint Agnes,” she used to say, “and you’ll see the man you’ll marry.”  Holly smiled at the thought.  She had always been a bit of a skeptic; or at least from the time she was twelve, the fateful year she had discovered a Toys-R-Us receipt accidentally wrapped up with one of Santa’s Christmas presents.  But, skeptic or not, she decided saying a prayer couldn’t hurt.  She knelt down beside her bed, made the sign of the cross with her right hand, and closed her eyes.

     

    After saying her prayers, Holly pulled back the covers and let herself collapse onto the bed.  For a moment she stared at the ceiling, then reached over to her bedside table and turned out the light.  She soon felt herself overcome by the heavy shackles of sleep as the fuzzy incoherence of slumber began to take form.  A moment later she found herself floating upon a soft cloud of ineffable lightness.  The space before her seemed to unfold itself as she advanced effortlessly along a narrow vista of snowy white mist.  The smell of freshly picked roses wafted pleasantly throughout the balmy air.  As she moved forward the mist began to clear, revealing the interior of a vast cathedral.  Looking down she lifted her arms, which were now clad in white lace.  She was surprised to find she was wearing a wedding dress.  Looking up she recognized familiar faces of friends and family standing along the aisle.  Her mother smiled joyfully from the front row, her face alight with maternal pride.  Holly’s eyes moved to the altar, where a man stood with his back turned.  She felt a subtle sense of eager anticipation well up inside her, as though destiny was beckoning her onward.  As she ascended the three steps onto the slightly raised platform, he turned to take her hand, a spark of divine recognition shining in his handsome face.  The eyes were blue, warm, and loving; eyes like the sky.  He took her hand gently and smiled.  Then he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.  Holly had a feeling of utter fulfillment as the dream came to an end and she fell, ever so slowly, into the waiting arms of oblivion.

     

    CHAPTER 2

    The office was aflutter with activity.  Phones ringing.  People walking to and fro.  The vibe of energy.  Just the type of atmosphere one would expect from a first-rate fashion mag.  And New Style magazine had finally succeeded in establishing itself as one.  Initially, the company had been seen as an upstart publication by some of the more established magazines in the industry.  But, over the course of the last five years, had proved itself to have staying power through the dedication and hard-work of the talented writers, artists, and marketing team it employed.

     

    Holly sat at her desk working on her latest sketch.  She tried to concentrate but found it difficult, her mind still set on the fantastic and extraordinarily vivid dream she had experienced last night.  She had woken up feeling well-rested yet slightly confused, half expecting to find the man from her dream lying in the bed next to her.  She had already accepted the most rational explanation.  The dream had simply been the product of her mother filling her head with all that nonsensical talk about Saint Agnes’ Eve and future husbands.  Holly smiled, giving a slight exhale of amusement.  Don’t start thinking into things, babe, she thought.  It’s just a dream.

     

    She had just finished the outline of her drawing when she heard footsteps approaching her desk.

     

    “Good morning.”

     

    Holly looked up from her desk to see her co-worker and friend, Deborah DeLowen, smiling back at her.  She wore a knee-length skirt of vintage red suede with black stiletto heeled boots.  Some of her clothes were a bit over-the-top for Holly’s taste, but when it came to fashion, Deb had a style all of her own.

     

    “Morning, Deb,” Holly said.

     

    “Wow.  You’re alive.”

     

    “Does that surprise you?”

     

    “I don’t know.  The gossip mill was churning the rumor that you were on your deathbed or something.  And since you didn’t return any of my phone calls, I figured it might be true.”

     

    “Sorry.  I was at the movies most of the day.”

     

    “The movies?  That’s what you stood me up for?”

     

    “Were we supposed to meet?”

     

    “Not exactly,” Deb said, perching herself on the edge of Holly’s desk.  “I just wanted to make you feel guilty.”

     

    “For what?”

     

    “For making me wait to ask you a very important question.”

     

    “What’s up?”

     

    “Well, I was just wondering what you’re going to wear tonight?”

     

    “Tonight?” Holly asked, looking confused.

     

    “Nuh, no, no.  Don’t even try to tell me that you forgot about this.”

     

    Holly stopped for a moment and tried to think.  Was it somebody’s birthday?

     

    “Hello?  Does the name Crescent Imperial ring any bells?”

     

    Of course!  It had completely slipped her mind.  It was the magazine’s five-year anniversary and the editor had gone all out, renting the grand ballroom in the world famous Crescent Imperial hotel.  Holly tried to act casual about the whole thing.

     

    “Oh, right.  I haven’t given it much thought.  To tell you the truth, I don’t even know if I’m going.”

     

    “Why not?  Don’t you have to go?” Deb asked, sounding more demanding than curious.

     

    “I don’t think it’s mandatory.  And besides, I don’t have a date.”

     

    “Where’s Greg?”

     

    “On his way to Zurich.  Might even be there by now.”

     

    “He took the job?”

     

    Holly nodded.

     

    “Well,” Deb continued, mellowing her tone.  “I thought you told me he wasn’t right for you.”

     

    “Well, he wasn’t wrong for me either.  At least not completely.  To be perfectly honest, I thought we could’ve had something.”

     

    “That’s a total lie.”

     

    “Only if I don’t believe it.”

     

    Deb gave a slight turn of her head.  “I don’t see why you would want to.  The guy was a jerk and you know it.  You deserve better than that.”

     

    “Yeah, well, what we deserve isn’t always what we get.”

     

    “Oh, honey.  I’m sorry.  Is there anything I can do?”

     

    “No, I’m okay.  I just wish I knew what I’m doing wrong.”

     

    “Who says it’s you?”

     

    Holly arched her eyebrows.  “Every guy I’ve ever dated.”

     

    “Well then you’re dating the wrong guys.”

     

    Holly was quiet.  Easy for you to say.  Deb was perfect.  Almost perfect.  Statuesque to say the least, with her golden blonde hair, full bosom, and light smooth skin; a typical wet dream on two legs.  Keeping guys had never been a problem for her.  But despite her flawless features and seemingly effortless grace, Deb was not in a class by herself.  In fact, a usual day saw the office teeming with a bevy of beautiful blondes and brunettes whose staunch devotion to hair and make-up made most women appear absolutely ordinary.  Though she felt like a fish out of water, Holly secretly enjoyed being the only true redhead on the floor, despite the spurious claims of two chromatically frustrated female interns who (at sporadic intervals throughout the year) sported similar shades of crimson locks, which shined in lustrous praise to the goddess of Clairol.

     

    “Look,” Deb continued, “I think you shouldn’t let this seemingly unfortunate breakup ruin your evening.”

     

    “I won’t, believe me.  To tell you the truth it’s really not that big of a deal.”

     

    “But it’s at the Crescent Imperial.  It’s one of the best hotels in the city.”

     

    “I wasn’t talking about the hotel.”

     

    “C’mon,” Deb pleaded as she stood up from her seat.  “This is the one time this place is going to rent out a hotel ballroom for us to have a party.  There’s going to be plenty of eligible bachelors.  And I hear the food at the hotel is amazing.”

     

    Holly sighed, feeling the playful pull of peer pressure.  While she didn’t doubt Deb’s enthusiasm, she also knew her best friend’s definition of “eligible bachelors” was very different from her own.  But she had to get back to work, and Deb wasn’t the type of friend to take no for an answer.  Though finding eligible bachelors could be hit or miss, her previous visits to the Crescent had assured her that, if nothing else, the quality of the cuisine was superb.

     

    “Okay.  You talked me into it.  Now can I get back to work?”

     

    Deb smiled, pleased with herself.  “Be my guest.  See you tonight.”

     

    Holly gave a small smile as she watched Deb strut her stuff past the few straight men who sat huddled behind their desks at the other end of the office.  A second later, she found herself holding back a laugh at the sight of heads turning to catch a rear-view glimpse of that fabulous female form.  Holly shook her head.  After millions of years of evolution, the sexually stimulated male mind was still as predictable as Pavlov’s dog.

     

    Holly squinted, crinkled her nose, as she returned her attention to her drawing.  The sketch just wasn’t shaping up right.  Between her breakup, her best friend, and the wonderfully persistent image of her precarious bridegroom, she felt like her brain was completely off-kilter.  She leaned her elbow on her drawing board and sighed.  A night out at a fancy hotel was sounding pretty good right now.

     

    ***

     

    Jake Cavanaugh suddenly found himself jolted into consciousness by the sharp ring of steady insistence blaring at him from below.  His face gave a quick contortion of surprise as his head lifted then fell back onto the pillow with the dull heaviness of a lead ball.  Jake sighed.  Though his brain registered the sound, his body wasn’t listening.  He had been accustomed to shutting his cell phone off before he went to sleep but Andrea, his fiancée, had demanded that he keep it on at all times.  What if there was an emergency, she had said.  How on earth would I get through to you?  So far, the only “emergencies” had been the time when she had misplaced her 1.4 carat diamond studded earrings she had received for her sweet sixteenth birthday, and the morning she had found her fifteen pound Siamese cat lying dead on the living room couch.  Jake had seen the two events as a somewhat unusual, but nonetheless accurate harbinger of things to come.  And yet both incidents had paled in comparison to the ridiculous level of pre-ceremonial severity his prospective life-partner had devoted to detail.   Since then the calls had been limited to midday proposals concerning floral arrangements and menu selections for the big day.

     

    With a tired groan, Jake reached down to the floor and picked up the phone.

     

    “Jake.  Are you there?  Can you hear me?”

     

    “Hey, babe.”

     

    “Honey, you weren’t still sleeping, were you?”

     

    “No, I’m up.”

     

    “You know it’s almost two o’clock.”

     

    Jake opened his eyes and looked at his watch.  The fact that he worked slinging drinks until four in the morning, finished closing up around five, and didn’t get home until nearly six never seemed to concern her when it came to rousting him from dreamland.

     

    “Yeah, I see that.”

     

    “Well I’m sorry if I disturbed your beauty sleep, but I had to tell you right away that dinner for tonight has been rescheduled from seven to six-thirty.”

     

    Six-thirty.  Got it.”

     

    “Please try to wear something nice.  And I don’t mean jeans.”

     

    “Hey, I thought we were allowed to wear anything around the family.”

     

    “Hardly.”

     

    Jake smiled to himself, remembering their last visit to the Summers’ estate.  He had thought that—after having met her parents on numerous occasions—he would not be committing any sort of fashion faux pas by showing up for dinner in a long-sleeved cotton jersey, sport jacket, and blue jeans.  He was wrong.  He had always taken her family to be a bit stilted.  Nevertheless, he had done his best to make a good impression.

     

    “By the way,” Andrea continued, “I was going over the list for the rehearsal dinner and I was thinking about adding a macrobiotic dish to the menu.”

     

    “Macrobiotic?” Jake uttered groggily.

     

    “Yeah.  You know how people these days are so health conscious.”

     

    “Sure.”

     

    “Great,” she replied cheerfully.  “So anyway, I’ve got a little more shopping to do; it shouldn’t take me more than a few hours.  If you want I can pick you up a shirt and tie, maybe some pants for you to wear tonight?”

     

    “No, no.  It’s okay.  I’ve got plenty of ties.”

     

    “Nothing too loud I hope.”

     

    “No.  They’re as quiet as they come.”

     

    “Wonderful.  Like I said, I shouldn’t be more than a few hours, which should give you plenty of time to get ready.”

     

    “Absolutely,” Jake agreed, half unconscious.

     

    “Okay, sweetie, I’ve really gotta go.  I can’t wait to see you tonight.”

     

    “Yeah, me too.”

     

    “Don’t forget to wear the shoes I bought you.”

     

    “Right.”

     

    “Love ya.  Bye.”

     

    She hung up before he could respond.  Jake shut his cell off and tossed it onto the bed.  He felt like he could sleep for another hour easy.  But he knew he couldn’t.  Sooner or later she would be coming by, and that meant he had to be ready—shaved, showered, and sharp as a razor.

     

    Jake sat up in the bed, yawned, and looked around the room.  The four hundred square foot Williamsburg studio had been his home for the past five years.  The newly gentrified borough of Brooklyn was a haven for struggling artists, musicians, actors, and bohemians of urban culture.  It was the kind of neighborhood that practically catered to creativity.  And he had fit right in.  He had been trying to establish himself as a painter for the past ten years, with little success.  Though still young at thirty-four, he was slowly beginning to have doubts about “making it” in a field where most people never made a dime.  And he wasn’t the only one.  Over the past eight months, his life as a “struggling” artist had come under heavy criticism since getting engaged to Bill and Grace Summers’ eldest daughter.  Jake frowned at the thought of continually having to prove himself to Andrea’s parents, particularly her father.  He had been on unsteady ground (to say the least) when discussing his artistic ambitions with his future in-laws and somehow got the feeling that, if it were up to them, his life would be undergoing some rather cataclysmic changes after the wedding.

     

    But despite his growing concern for his future, he wasn’t ready to give up.  He still managed to sell a few paintings (albeit not enough to support himself) and had begun to develop a small following in the art world.  Jake knew if he could just get himself into one of the better galleries in the city he would be able to break through.  Of course you had to convince a gallery owner your work was “relevant” enough to merit a show.  But if he followed Andrea’s plans to start a family, he could kiss his dreams of artistic achievement goodbye.

     

    Putting his worries aside, Jake stood up and headed for the shower.  The small tiles of the bathroom floor were cold on his bare feet.  It was only January, and winter was in full swing.  Jake stepped into the tub and turned on the hot water.  The rapid stream of liquid heat quickly served to curb the chill that was starting to run up his spine.  When he stepped out ten minutes later, the room was like a sauna.  He toweled off then went over to the mirror and wiped away the heavy layer of condensation that had settled softly atop the glass.  He stared for a moment at the reflection that looked back at him: deep blue eyes, square jaw, thin lips, all set under a mop of thick black hair.  He took his time shaving; brushed his teeth and combed his hair.  When he was sufficiently groomed, he went into the bedroom and dressed in a pair of sharp black pants and a button down shirt.  By the time he was ready it was only a quarter to four.  He still had two hours to kill.  He had a bowl of cereal to hold him over then went down to the local bodega and bought a bottle of Merlot and two bouquets of fresh flowers.  Though he was well past the point of having to bring a gift to a “family” dinner, Jake didn’t like showing up empty handed, and any gesture that moved him closer to being in the good graces of Andrea’s parents was well worth the effort.

     

    When he returned to his apartment he set the wine on the kitchen counter, put the flowers in the fridge, and had another bowl of cereal.  When his hunger was sufficiently curbed, he moved into the main room, popped “King Kong” into the DVD player and hit play.  Jake smiled.  Nothing said classic cinema adventure like a fifty-foot ape and Fay Wray dangling precariously atop the Empire State Building.  He was still seated in front of the television when he heard the front buzzer.  He got up and opened the door.  Andrea was there.  She was impeccably dressed in a strapless black cocktail dress and bright red high heels.

     

    “Hey, why didn’t you call?”

     

    “I called three hours ago,” she said, stepping inside and planting a quick peck on his cheek.

     

    “No, I mean now.  I would’ve come out instead of you having to come in.”

     

    “No, it’s okay.  I have to use the bathroom.”

     

    “Sure.”

     

    Jake watched as Andrea moved across the floor into the bathroom.  He grabbed his blue sport jacket and put it on.  Two minutes later, she walked into the kitchen.

     

    “I swear that is the smallest bathroom on the face of the planet.  And when are you going to get rid of that awful chair?” she asked, eyeing the shabby gray armchair in the center of the room.

     

    “What’s wrong with it?”

     

    “It just looks so old.”

     

    “It’s an antique; it’s supposed to look old.”

     

    “Whatever.  Anyway, are you ready?”

     

    “Yeah.  Here,” Jake said, handing her one of the bouquets from the fridge.  “I got one for your mom, too.”

     

    “Jake, these are orchids.”  It almost sounded like an accusation.

     

    “So.”

     

    “So, my mother’s allergic to orchids.  She gets within five feet of them and she starts sneezing like a crazy person.”

     

    “I didn’t know they sneeze differently.”

     

    “Huh?”

     

    “Crazy people.”

     

    Andrea frowned.  “Please, don’t try to be cute; I’m not in the mood.”

     

    “You sure sounded in the mood on the phone three hours ago.”

     

    “Yeah, and I’ve been running around ever since.”

     

    “Hey, I’m sorry.  I wasn’t trying to be cute; I just made a mistake, that’s all.  She can have the wine.”

     

    “Great, a bottle of wine.  I’m sure she’ll be jumping head over heels for joy.”

     

    “Did I do something wrong?” Jake asked, looking confused.

     

    Andrea lost the attitude.  “Oh, honey, it’s not you.  I just wish you didn’t have to try so hard to impress them.  You’re never going to be what they want.”

     

    “Maybe.  But that doesn’t mean that I should stop trying.”

     

    Jake went over to Andrea and put his arms around her waist.

     

    “If only they knew you like I do.”

     

    “That would be kind of awkward, don’t ya think?  I mean, your mom’s a sweetheart but your dad doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who’s into trying new things.”

     

    Jake smiled.

     

    “Shut up,” Andrea said humorously, pushing Jake away.  “Come on,” she continued, “we don’t want to be late.”

    Click here to download the entire book:

    Saint Agnes’ Eve

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    Lunch Time Reading! Romance of The Week FREE Excerpt featuring Tom Lazenby’s Saint Agnes’ Eve

    Last week we announced that Tom Lazenby’s Saint Agnes’ Eve is our Romance of the Week and the sponsor of thousands of great bargains in the Romance category: over 200 free titles, over 600 quality 99-centers, and thousands more that you can read for free through the Kindle Lending Library if you have Amazon Prime!

    Now we’re back to offer our weekly free Romance excerpt, and if you aren’t among those who have downloaded Saint Agnes’ Eve, you’re in for a real treat:

    Saint Agnes’ Eve

    by Tom Lazenby

    Saint Agnes
    5.0 stars – 1 Reviews
    Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
    Here’s the set-up:

    Holly Likewise has a dream; an extraordinary dream of her future romance with the mystery man whom she is destined to marry. With eyes like the sky and a face like no other (or so she thinks), he’s a true gift from above. And, though still asleep, she’s never felt more alive in her life. For a moment, everything seems perfect. But upon awakening, Holly quickly realizes that her midnight honeymoon has been cut all-too short. Strangely disappointed by the sudden disappearance of her undercover lover, Holly dismisses her nighttime vision as mere fancy; a product of her mother’s stories about destiny and the legend of Saint Agnes’ Eve. At thirty-three years old and prone to disbelief, she has no time for games. Moreover, her busy New York City lifestyle and less than stellar love life have left her feeling slightly depressed about her future. But when she comes face to face with the darkly handsome man she saw in her dream, Holly begins to believe that there might be something to the legend after all.Jimmy Cavanaugh has a plan; a master plan to rob a safe holding one million dollars of unclaimed cash from one of the biggest pimps in Las Vegas. From there, he’s on his way to New York City to visit his estranged brother, Jake, while waiting for his passport to come through. Ready to live out the rest of his life on Easy Street, Jimmy’s made the score of a lifetime. With places to go and money to burn, he quickly proceeds to cut a reckless path of uninhibited pleasure across the glittering landscape of the concrete jungle. But somehow trouble still manages to find him, and Jimmy soon discovers that leaving behind a life of crime isn’t as easy as he thought.

    Jake Cavanaugh has a problem. Not only is he being pressured by his demanding twenty-something fiancée to trade in his life as a struggling artist and part-time bartender for a new job selling luxury cars at her workaholic father’s Scarsdale dealership, but his whole life is about to be turned upside down when he gets a surprise visit from his recently paroled, trouble-making twin brother. With things getting crazier by the minute, Jake resigns himself to the seemingly unavoidable fact that his path is destined to take a dramatic turn for the worse. Between his backsliding brother and badgering bride-to-be, his future seems uncomfortably set; until an unexpected encounter with an enchanting illustrator rekindles his desperate passion for art and for the undying love they are destined to share.

    In a classic case of mistaken identity and spellbound soul mates, Saint Agnes’ Eve tells the tale of a modern-day romance inspired by a medieval legend, and brings to light the dawning reality that (for two star-crossed lovers) dreams really do come true.

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      And here, for your reading pleasure, is our free romance excerpt:

    PROLOGUE

    Jimmy Cavanaugh sat outstretched on a broken lounge chair by the motel pool feeling completely at ease with the world around him.  It had been nearly three months since he had gotten out of the clink, and the motel had been his residence ever since.  The Easy Ace Motel was the kind of place for people who wanted everything and had nothing.  The rooms were cruddy, the staff sleazy, and the patrons slick.  The pool was the nicest thing about it; the water clean, clear, and limpid.  It was an attractive enticement to potential sojourners.  The one area that had been untainted by the grime that threatened to take over the entire establishment.  The one spot where you could dream of a better life.  And Jimmy had done that more than once.

     

    He took a long pull on his gin and tonic as he watched the palm trees (five of them, one next to the other) swaying back and forth in the warm Nevada wind; their dark fronds, silhouetted against light blue and purple colored sky, shimmied and shook like fringe-skirted hula dancers.  It was nearing six O’clock and the sun had dwindled submissively to the horizon, leaving scattered strands of bright pink clouds in its wake.  Jimmy smiled at the passing of the day.  Tomorrow, if all went right, he would be a rich man.

     

    Vicky had told him all about it.  One million dollars.  Maybe more.  All waiting for him to pick up.  The plan was perfect.  Vicky would drive him into the house, go to dinner with her fat slob of a husband, and Jimmy would rob it.  It was so simple, it almost sounded too good to be true.  But it was.  He had spent the last two weeks planning the job.  From Vicky’s description, he figured the safe to be a typical steel wall, dial combination lock.  Not wanting to leave anything to chance, Jimmy had gone out and purchased a high-speed electric drill with carbaloid bits, a four-foot crowbar, and a portable oxyacetylene cutting torch.  With the tools he had in tow, he figured the job would take him a half an hour at the most.  It was a gamble which involved a considerable amount of risk.  But he was willing to risk it all for a shot at the big time.

     

    Jimmy simpered as he sat in his chair, recollecting the sordid past that had led him to this fateful moment of opportunity.  His whole life had been a constant gamble since leaving New York.  As a child, his father had always told him life wasn’t fair.  Jimmy had decided to make it fair game.  He hadn’t wanted to settle for a decent living.  He always had his mind set on getting the big prize; hitting the jackpot, by whatever road he had to take—even if it meant breaking the law.  It had been many years since he had taken that first step into the world of crime.  A world of outlaws and derelicts; danger and deception.   A world with no limits.  No barriers.  And it didn’t discriminate.  It appealed to everyone from white-collar businessmen to the junkie on the street.  There was only one prerequisite a man had to have before entering into a life of crime: balls.  Big friggin’ balls.  Most of the time more balls than brains, but those were usually the ones who got caught.  Jimmy smirked.  It was a lesson he had learned the hard way.  His youthful indiscretions had landed him behind bars more than once, and he wasn’t about to go down that road again.  Like any other business, time was money, and he had done his fair share of wasting both.

     

    When he had finished his drink, Jimmy got up off the chair and trudged lazily back into the squalid motel room.  Turning on the light, he felt the familiar sensation of being transported back into the not-so-distant past.  The lime green shag carpet and brushed chrome lava lamps dated the room to circa 1965.  The flimsy wallpaper consisted of a saffron yellow floral design which gradually faded then darkened into a grim sepia around the edges.  The dim overhead light and decrepit ceiling fan conspired to decapitate any resident attempting to adjust the speed or replace the bulb.  All in all, the room presented a stark exhibition of tawdry décor that reflected the unchecked self-indulgence of its psychedelic heyday.

     

    Jimmy moved slowly across the living room floor and made his way into the bathroom.  He needed a shower.  Graffiti etched in by a knife on the bathroom wall read, Frank Sinatra was here.  Jimmy smirked.  No doubt the place had gone downhill since Old Blue Eyes last set foot on the property.  He spent five minutes in the shower before the water went cold.  Piece of shit motel.

     

    When he had finished his shower, he toweled off then walked slowly back into the main room.  The suitcase atop the bed contained everything he owned in the world.  He checked his plane ticket, set to leave tomorrow night.  He would miss Vegas.  The lights.  The sleaze.  And, of course, the action.  But it didn’t matter.  He would be getting plenty of action where he was going; especially if he pulled off this job.

     

    He checked the room over once more.  He wanted to make sure he didn’t leave any trace of himself behind.  His whole life was about to change.  No more flea-bitten motels.  No more fly-by-night “career opportunities” set up by his parole officer.  This time it would be different.  He was going to set himself up right.  And this time, it would be for life.

     

     

    CHAPTER 1

     

    The alarm clock went off at six A.M. sharp, spewing forth a discordant shriek of garbled voices and heavy static that fought to rouse the living from their secret slumber.  Holly Likewise threw her arm out of bed and smacked it into submission.  Normally the clock would’ve been set for five-thirty but she had been up most of the night working and had needed the extra sleep.   She considered lying there for just five more minutes but knew it was probably a bad idea.  She couldn’t be late.  In exactly two hours from now she was scheduled to submit her latest sketches for the February issue of New Style Magazine.  The theme for the month was, “The Vintage of Valentine’s Day,” and Holly had spent the better part of her evening filling in the twenty or so outlines she had done detailing the classic cuts of bygone couture that epitomized the spirit of the season.  With a reluctant sense of delayed obligation, she moaned in disgust, opened her eyes, and dragged herself out of bed.

     

    Standing in the center of the room, she reached down and touched her toes (a sort of wake up ritual she had practiced for the past five years; the day she couldn’t touch her toes was the day she was starting to get old) then made her way to the bathroom.  Turning on the light, she tossed her white silk pajamas into the hamper, stepped into the shower, and lost herself in the hot stream of water.  Ten minutes later she stepped out onto the cold tile, wrapped her body in a towel, and looked at herself in the mirror.  Alive again.  Her fair skin seemed to glow under the wide awning of light bulbs that spanned the top horizon of silvered-glass; her green eyes shining clear and bright.  Holly smiled.  The extra sleep always did her skin a world of good.  Though she would never be mistaken for a supermodel, she felt blessed by the fact that she didn’t have to cake her face with make-up every morning to look pretty.

     

    She quickly toweled off, brushed her shoulder-length red hair (which looked almost brown when wet) then headed back into the bedroom.  She went over to the closet and put on a pair of tan slacks and a cream colored cardigan.  Once dressed, she picked up her keys, slung her purse over her shoulder and was out the door.

     

    After exiting the building, she made her way up to East 87th street and hailed a taxi.  Once settled into the back of the cab, Holly took out her cell phone from her purse and switched it on, signaling the start of her work day.  A few moments passed before she saw she had a new voice message from Greg.  Holly pressed the single button, which instantly dialed her voicemail, and waited.  You have one new voice message and six saved messages.  New message:

     

    Hi Holly, it’s Greg.  It’s about a quarter after ten, you’re probably asleep.  I really don’t have much time to talk right now; I’ve got to catch a flight.  I just wanted to call to say that, I, uh…I don’t think I can see you anymore.  Please don’t take this the wrong way, I think you’re great.  But when it comes down to it, I just don’t think we have enough in common to form a lasting relationship.  I think it’s best that we quit while we’re ahead.  Excuse the message, but I thought this would be the easiest way for the both of us to end this.  I hope you meet someone who you really connect with in the future.   Okay, well, I guess that’s it.  Take care of yourself, ya hear.  Okay, well, Bye.

     

    That was how it went.  It was over, just like that.  Six months of her romantic life down the drain.  Holly fought the urge to shed a few tears.  Maybe it was for the best.  But, at the moment, it certainly didn’t feel that way.

     

    She had been seeing Greg since August.  The relationship had gotten off to a lukewarm start.  He had a good job working for a Swiss bank in the city and was always traveling somewhere or another.  Initially, she had not found him all that attractive but he had somehow managed to win her over with his strong personality.  Strong was the only word she could equate with it.  He had been exceedingly forward when it came to his plans for the future and what he wanted out of his romantic life; marriage purportedly being his primary intention.  She had waited until their fifth date before she had accepted his offer to go back to his apartment.  He had kept her at an arm’s length after that; always calling to cancel dinner dates and leaving town in a hurry.  When he had finally mustered up the decency to see her again, he told her about an offer he had received to move to Zurich for work.  From then on she had known it was only a matter of time.

     

    Holly, all of a sudden, felt like utter crap.  She needed someone to talk to.  And it wasn’t her boss.

     

    She phoned her job and said she was sick, then told the cabbie to take her over to Forest Hills.  Twenty minutes later, the cab dropped her off in front of her mom’s apartment building.  Holly stepped into the foyer and approached the intercom, then pushed the button next to the name, “B. Likewise.”  A few moments went by before she heard the familiar voice.

     

    “Who is it?”

     

    “Ma, it’s me.  Buzz me in.”

     

    “How do I know it’s you?”

     

    “Ma, it’s me!” Holly said, astonished.

     

    “You didn’t use the secret code.”

     

    Holly shook her head in good humored frustration.  The Code.  Six depressions of the button; three and three, separated by a short pause.  Holly proceeded to press it three times, waited a moment, then pressed it another three.  Finally, she heard the buzz.  Holly opened the door and entered the building.  She made her way over to the elevator and pressed the button.  A ten second wait and she stepped onto the platform.  As the lift ascended, the shaft echoed with the ominous sounds of creaking cables and screeching wheels.  Holly felt a sudden uneasiness surround her as the elevator bucked nervously and the lights flickered like wildfire.  She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer.  Just five more floors to go.  Thirty turbulent seconds later, the doors opened and she jumped out.

     

    She quickly made her way down the hall and around a corner.  When she reached the apartment, Holly raised her hand to knock but the door opened before her knuckles could make contact.

     

    “Honey, it’s good to see ya!”

     

    Barbara Likewise was the epitome of unhindered ebullience at the sight of her daughter in the threshold.  She was dressed in a light purple blouse with a hibiscus print that seemed more apropos for a Hawaiian luau than a New York winter.  Holly smiled at the getup.  Her mother had always stressed the importance of keeping a positive attitude, and her sartorial penchant for bright colors seemed to reflect her cheerful disposition.

     

    Holly thought her mother looked absolutely fabulous for her age.  At sixty-two, Barbara Likewise still had the slim, willowy figure of a ballet dancer.  She wore her hair in a stylishly cropped blonde bob that fell in tousled layers just below her chin.  Her face had hardly a line on it and the white strands that speckled her light blonde hair seemed to be virtually unnoticeable in the light.

     

    She gave Holly a quick hug and a kiss then smiled a wide grin that threatened to swallow her whole.

     

    “Hi, Mom.”

     

    “C’mon in, I’m making breakfast.”

     

    Holly stepped into the apartment and followed her mother down the short hallway with the purple runner.  The Christmas tree still stood proudly in one corner of the living room, though nearly a month had past.  Plastic branches festooned with colorful glass bulbs and glittering strands of silver and gold tinsel reached out from all sides, silently awaiting the season’s end.

     

    She followed her mother through the living room into her glorified nook of a kitchen.  Holly sat down at the kitchen table and watched as her mom fixed a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast with orange marmalade.  The sight of her mother busy at work conjured memories of her early childhood at home in Connecticut.  Though it had been many years since she had last set foot on the property, the three bedroom, raised ranch of her youth had been permanently etched into her subconscious as a solemn symbol of warmth and security.  Holly smiled.  She had fond memories of growing up in the Nutmeg State and, on many occasions, had found herself considering the possibility of returning there one day to raise a family of her own.

     

    “Why haven’t you called?  I’ve been worried sick about you,” her mother asked, scraping eggs off the pan onto a plate.

     

    “Sorry.  I’ve been really busy lately.”

     

    “You and your career.  You know, you’re going to burn yourself out if you’re not careful.”

     

    “Mom, I gotta pay my bills.”

     

    “I know, but that’s still no excuse.”

     

    Holly shrugged, staring at the plate of food her mother had placed in front of her.

     

    “So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Barbara asked, taking a seat at the table.

     

    “Nothing’s wrong.”

     

    “C’mon.  I know you better than that.  First you take the day off work to come see me and now you’re not eating.  That tells me something ain’t right in wonderland.”

     

    “Greg and I broke up.”

     

    “Greg?  What happened to Lewis?”

     

    Holly rolled her eyes at the mention of his name.  Two weeks before meeting Greg, Holly had agreed to go out with Lewis, the son of her mother’s friend.  Over the course of dinner, she had discovered Lewis to be a silly man of thirty-eight who had left his job as a lawyer to enroll in clown school.  Since then, he had eked out a living performing in a few travelling circuses and various private parties around the Tri-state area.  Holly was not impressed.

     

    “What was wrong with Lewis?  He was a lawyer.”

     

    “He was a clown, Ma.  And I mean that literally.”

     

    “Well, my friend Rose has a son who’s single.”

     

    “Ma, please.  I don’t need you to set me up with anyone.  I’d just like to try and meet someone on my own.”

     

    Someone with class.  Someone with style.  Someone like no one she had ever met before.  A man with a warm heart, a keen mind, and a firm grasp of his place in the world.  Of course, good looks and a great job never hurt, but that was secondary.  From her past experiences on the New York dating scene, Holly had come to realize that high salaries and fancy suits didn’t mean anything when it came to character.

     

    “Don’t worry about it too much.  You’ve got plenty of time.”

     

    “I’m thirty-three years old, Ma.  Forty’s right around the corner.”

     

    “Well, the clock’s still ticking.  Hey, you know what tonight is?” Barbara asked, changing the subject.

     

    “No.  What’s tonight?”

     

    “It’s Saint Agnes’ Eve.  Remember when you were little you used to get so excited?”

     

    Holly arched her eyebrows.  “I used to get excited when you told me the tooth fairy was coming too.”

     

    “I remember you jumping into bed as a little girl.  You didn’t want to miss a minute of your dream.  You couldn’t wait to see your future husband.

     

    “But I never did see him, Ma.  Most of my dreams turned out to be nightmares.”

     

    “Well maybe you weren’t ready for dreams about marriage.”

     

    “Maybe I didn’t see him because it’s just a stupid legend.”

     

    Barbara leaned back in her chair, feigning surprise.  “Well, look at you.  All grown up and not an ounce of fantastical belief left in you.  Did I ever tell you how I met your father?”

     

    “Mom, you told me this story a hundred times.  You met him at a New Year’s Eve party and you couldn’t stand him.  But three weeks later, on Saint Agnes’ Eve, you had a dream that you were going to marry him, so you did.”

     

    “And it was the best decision I ever made.”

     

    “Not everyone’s that lucky, Mom.”

     

    “Patience, honey.  You’ll find the right guy for you.”

     

    Holly gave a small smile as the words passed from her mother’s lips.  Though she always meant well, Holly knew her mom could never really relate to her own predicament.  And, deep down, Barbara knew it too.  She had been married herself at twenty-three to a wonderful man who had been the love of her life.  She had never had to worry about things like dating or searching endlessly for “The One.”  Looking back on it all, that part of her life—finding the perfect husband—had been rather easy.  She had always considered their relationship to be special; even more than special.  It was simply meant to be.  From the very first moment she had met Darren, she knew her life would never be the same.  Though their first actual encounter had been less than magical, he had left her with a vivid impression that had aroused her curiosity to the point where simply forgetting about him was not an option.  Consequently, she had been utterly annoyed when she had caught herself thinking about him periodically throughout the next day.  And equally surprised when (having found her number through the student directory at Hunter) she had received a phone call from him later that evening.  His humble, if not slightly awkward, request for a date had seemed delightfully charming at the time and had succeeded in dispelling any reservations she had harbored the night before.  As it turned out, agreeing to see him had been one of the smartest moves of her life.  After just three weeks of dating, she had found herself head-over-heels in love, and wondering how such a thing could have happened so fast.  Eighteen months later she had graduated from college with a diploma in her hand and an engagement ring on her finger.  They had been married in September of that year, and six years later she had given birth to their only child.

     

    Barbara felt a sudden upwelling of emotion at the thought of Darren Likewise, the love they had shared, and the life they had built together.  Their marriage had been an affair for the ages, a special union blessed by God and written in the stars for all to see.  He had been everything she had ever wanted in a man and had provided her with a lifetime of happiness.  Sadly—tragically—that lifetime had been cut all-too short.  After twenty-six years of marriage, she had found herself heartbroken and alone.  Though Holly had offered to postpone college to remain in the house, Barbara had insisted on her daughter getting an education without any interruption.  The loss of her husband had been a devastating blow to both of them.  But it had happened, and they had gradually come to terms with the radical twist of fate that had changed their lives forever.

     

    As her thoughts returned to the present, Barbara felt a strong sense of concern as she smiled at her beloved daughter.  She had been praying that Holly would meet a good man.  A man who could offer her the kind of love and devotion she had experienced with Darren.  Though Holly had chosen to play the role of the independent career woman, Barbara knew she would like to get married.  She had never failed to notice the subtle signs of uneasiness Holly had about the future.  And she had begun to worry for her.  She had tried to give advice in small doses of carefully worded suggestions.  But she knew when to leave it well enough alone.  It was a different generation, with a new set of rules.  And Barbara had been out of the game for a long, long time.

     

    She often felt regretful for not having another child; a sibling for Holly who would be there for her, and vice versa, when the going got tough.  Thankfully she had aunts, and uncles, and cousins.  Lots of cousins.  Most of them within a two hundred mile radius of the city, though some had grown tired of the winters and decided to move west.  But whether it was the hustle and bustle of New York or the glitz and glamour of Hollywood, she would always have family.  And family—after all was said and done—was what mattered most.

     

    ***

     

    It was nearly nine when Holly got back to her apartment.  After leaving her mother’s place at noon, she had caught a cab back into the city and spent the rest of the day at the movies.  Sadly, the triple feature of romantic comedies had done little to lift her spirits.  So much for romance.  She fingered through her keys until she found the right one then unlocked the door.  She was cold and tired and couldn’t wait to fall into a soft, warm bed.  As she stepped inside she heard the familiar purr and meow from her cat Mittens, a black tabby with white paws.

     

    “Yes, sweetheart, I’m home.”

     

    She picked up Mittens with both hands, cradling her like a small child.  Holly carried her into the kitchen, opened up a can of Fancy Feast and set it on the floor.  After feeding the cat, she poured herself a glass of red wine and looked over her apartment.  Her living room was tastefully decorated with a unique assortment of antique furniture and modern art.  Outside the window snow fell in dusty white flakes, sparkling like stardust under the silver moon.  Holly smiled.  Though the Upper East Side spread was costing her an arm and a leg, she made sure that after juggling multiple assignments and putting in countless ten hour workdays, she returned to a comfortable home.

     

    When she had finished with her drink, Holly threw her coat over the living room couch then strode down the hall to the bathroom.  She quickly flossed and brushed her teeth, washed her face and combed her hair.  Then she headed for the bedroom.  She had endured a lousy day and was determined to get a good night’s sleep.

     

    As she changed into her pajamas, she remembered her mother’s words about the Eve of Saint Agnes.   “Pray to Saint Agnes,” she used to say, “and you’ll see the man you’ll marry.”  Holly smiled at the thought.  She had always been a bit of a skeptic; or at least from the time she was twelve, the fateful year she had discovered a Toys-R-Us receipt accidentally wrapped up with one of Santa’s Christmas presents.  But, skeptic or not, she decided saying a prayer couldn’t hurt.  She knelt down beside her bed, made the sign of the cross with her right hand, and closed her eyes.

     

    After saying her prayers, Holly pulled back the covers and let herself collapse onto the bed.  For a moment she stared at the ceiling, then reached over to her bedside table and turned out the light.  She soon felt herself overcome by the heavy shackles of sleep as the fuzzy incoherence of slumber began to take form.  A moment later she found herself floating upon a soft cloud of ineffable lightness.  The space before her seemed to unfold itself as she advanced effortlessly along a narrow vista of snowy white mist.  The smell of freshly picked roses wafted pleasantly throughout the balmy air.  As she moved forward the mist began to clear, revealing the interior of a vast cathedral.  Looking down she lifted her arms, which were now clad in white lace.  She was surprised to find she was wearing a wedding dress.  Looking up she recognized familiar faces of friends and family standing along the aisle.  Her mother smiled joyfully from the front row, her face alight with maternal pride.  Holly’s eyes moved to the altar, where a man stood with his back turned.  She felt a subtle sense of eager anticipation well up inside her, as though destiny was beckoning her onward.  As she ascended the three steps onto the slightly raised platform, he turned to take her hand, a spark of divine recognition shining in his handsome face.  The eyes were blue, warm, and loving; eyes like the sky.  He took her hand gently and smiled.  Then he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.  Holly had a feeling of utter fulfillment as the dream came to an end and she fell, ever so slowly, into the waiting arms of oblivion.

     

    CHAPTER 2


    The office was aflutter with activity.  Phones ringing.  People walking to and fro.  The vibe of energy.  Just the type of atmosphere one would expect from a first-rate fashion mag.  And New Style magazine had finally succeeded in establishing itself as one.  Initially, the company had been seen as an upstart publication by some of the more established magazines in the industry.  But, over the course of the last five years, had proved itself to have staying power through the dedication and hard-work of the talented writers, artists, and marketing team it employed.

     

    Holly sat at her desk working on her latest sketch.  She tried to concentrate but found it difficult, her mind still set on the fantastic and extraordinarily vivid dream she had experienced last night.  She had woken up feeling well-rested yet slightly confused, half expecting to find the man from her dream lying in the bed next to her.  She had already accepted the most rational explanation.  The dream had simply been the product of her mother filling her head with all that nonsensical talk about Saint Agnes’ Eve and future husbands.  Holly smiled, giving a slight exhale of amusement.  Don’t start thinking into things, babe, she thought.  It’s just a dream.

     

    She had just finished the outline of her drawing when she heard footsteps approaching her desk.

     

    “Good morning.”

     

    Holly looked up from her desk to see her co-worker and friend, Deborah DeLowen, smiling back at her.  She wore a knee-length skirt of vintage red suede with black stiletto heeled boots.  Some of her clothes were a bit over-the-top for Holly’s taste, but when it came to fashion, Deb had a style all of her own.

     

    “Morning, Deb,” Holly said.

     

    “Wow.  You’re alive.”

     

    “Does that surprise you?”

     

    “I don’t know.  The gossip mill was churning the rumor that you were on your deathbed or something.  And since you didn’t return any of my phone calls, I figured it might be true.”

     

    “Sorry.  I was at the movies most of the day.”

     

    “The movies?  That’s what you stood me up for?”

     

    “Were we supposed to meet?”

     

    “Not exactly,” Deb said, perching herself on the edge of Holly’s desk.  “I just wanted to make you feel guilty.”

     

    “For what?”

     

    “For making me wait to ask you a very important question.”

     

    “What’s up?”

     

    “Well, I was just wondering what you’re going to wear tonight?”

     

    “Tonight?” Holly asked, looking confused.

     

    “Nuh, no, no.  Don’t even try to tell me that you forgot about this.”

     

    Holly stopped for a moment and tried to think.  Was it somebody’s birthday?

     

    “Hello?  Does the name Crescent Imperial ring any bells?”

     

    Of course!  It had completely slipped her mind.  It was the magazine’s five-year anniversary and the editor had gone all out, renting the grand ballroom in the world famous Crescent Imperial hotel.  Holly tried to act casual about the whole thing.

     

    “Oh, right.  I haven’t given it much thought.  To tell you the truth, I don’t even know if I’m going.”

     

    “Why not?  Don’t you have to go?” Deb asked, sounding more demanding than curious.

     

    “I don’t think it’s mandatory.  And besides, I don’t have a date.”

     

    “Where’s Greg?”

     

    “On his way to Zurich.  Might even be there by now.”

     

    “He took the job?”

     

    Holly nodded.

     

    “Well,” Deb continued, mellowing her tone.  “I thought you told me he wasn’t right for you.”

     

    “Well, he wasn’t wrong for me either.  At least not completely.  To be perfectly honest, I thought we could’ve had something.”

     

    “That’s a total lie.”

     

    “Only if I don’t believe it.”

     

    Deb gave a slight turn of her head.  “I don’t see why you would want to.  The guy was a jerk and you know it.  You deserve better than that.”

     

    “Yeah, well, what we deserve isn’t always what we get.”

     

    “Oh, honey.  I’m sorry.  Is there anything I can do?”

     

    “No, I’m okay.  I just wish I knew what I’m doing wrong.”

     

    “Who says it’s you?”

     

    Holly arched her eyebrows.  “Every guy I’ve ever dated.”

     

    “Well then you’re dating the wrong guys.”

     

    Holly was quiet.  Easy for you to say.  Deb was perfect.  Almost perfect.  Statuesque to say the least, with her golden blonde hair, full bosom, and light smooth skin; a typical wet dream on two legs.  Keeping guys had never been a problem for her.  But despite her flawless features and seemingly effortless grace, Deb was not in a class by herself.  In fact, a usual day saw the office teeming with a bevy of beautiful blondes and brunettes whose staunch devotion to hair and make-up made most women appear absolutely ordinary.  Though she felt like a fish out of water, Holly secretly enjoyed being the only true redhead on the floor, despite the spurious claims of two chromatically frustrated female interns who (at sporadic intervals throughout the year) sported similar shades of crimson locks, which shined in lustrous praise to the goddess of Clairol.

     

    “Look,” Deb continued, “I think you shouldn’t let this seemingly unfortunate breakup ruin your evening.”

     

    “I won’t, believe me.  To tell you the truth it’s really not that big of a deal.”

     

    “But it’s at the Crescent Imperial.  It’s one of the best hotels in the city.”

     

    “I wasn’t talking about the hotel.”

     

    “C’mon,” Deb pleaded as she stood up from her seat.  “This is the one time this place is going to rent out a hotel ballroom for us to have a party.  There’s going to be plenty of eligible bachelors.  And I hear the food at the hotel is amazing.”

     

    Holly sighed, feeling the playful pull of peer pressure.  While she didn’t doubt Deb’s enthusiasm, she also knew her best friend’s definition of “eligible bachelors” was very different from her own.  But she had to get back to work, and Deb wasn’t the type of friend to take no for an answer.  Though finding eligible bachelors could be hit or miss, her previous visits to the Crescent had assured her that, if nothing else, the quality of the cuisine was superb.

     

    “Okay.  You talked me into it.  Now can I get back to work?”

     

    Deb smiled, pleased with herself.  “Be my guest.  See you tonight.”

     

    Holly gave a small smile as she watched Deb strut her stuff past the few straight men who sat huddled behind their desks at the other end of the office.  A second later, she found herself holding back a laugh at the sight of heads turning to catch a rear-view glimpse of that fabulous female form.  Holly shook her head.  After millions of years of evolution, the sexually stimulated male mind was still as predictable as Pavlov’s dog.

     

    Holly squinted, crinkled her nose, as she returned her attention to her drawing.  The sketch just wasn’t shaping up right.  Between her breakup, her best friend, and the wonderfully persistent image of her precarious bridegroom, she felt like her brain was completely off-kilter.  She leaned her elbow on her drawing board and sighed.  A night out at a fancy hotel was sounding pretty good right now.

     

    ***

     

    Jake Cavanaugh suddenly found himself jolted into consciousness by the sharp ring of steady insistence blaring at him from below.  His face gave a quick contortion of surprise as his head lifted then fell back onto the pillow with the dull heaviness of a lead ball.  Jake sighed.  Though his brain registered the sound, his body wasn’t listening.  He had been accustomed to shutting his cell phone off before he went to sleep but Andrea, his fiancée, had demanded that he keep it on at all times.  What if there was an emergency, she had said.  How on earth would I get through to you?  So far, the only “emergencies” had been the time when she had misplaced her 1.4 carat diamond studded earrings she had received for her sweet sixteenth birthday, and the morning she had found her fifteen pound Siamese cat lying dead on the living room couch.  Jake had seen the two events as a somewhat unusual, but nonetheless accurate harbinger of things to come.  And yet both incidents had paled in comparison to the ridiculous level of pre-ceremonial severity his prospective life-partner had devoted to detail.   Since then the calls had been limited to midday proposals concerning floral arrangements and menu selections for the big day.

     

    With a tired groan, Jake reached down to the floor and picked up the phone.

     

    “Jake.  Are you there?  Can you hear me?”

     

    “Hey, babe.”

     

    “Honey, you weren’t still sleeping, were you?”

     

    “No, I’m up.”

     

    “You know it’s almost two o’clock.”

     

    Jake opened his eyes and looked at his watch.  The fact that he worked slinging drinks until four in the morning, finished closing up around five, and didn’t get home until nearly six never seemed to concern her when it came to rousting him from dreamland.

     

    “Yeah, I see that.”

     

    “Well I’m sorry if I disturbed your beauty sleep, but I had to tell you right away that dinner for tonight has been rescheduled from seven to six-thirty.”

     

    Six-thirty.  Got it.”

     

    “Please try to wear something nice.  And I don’t mean jeans.”

     

    “Hey, I thought we were allowed to wear anything around the family.”

     

    “Hardly.”

     

    Jake smiled to himself, remembering their last visit to the Summers’ estate.  He had thought that—after having met her parents on numerous occasions—he would not be committing any sort of fashion faux pas by showing up for dinner in a long-sleeved cotton jersey, sport jacket, and blue jeans.  He was wrong.  He had always taken her family to be a bit stilted.  Nevertheless, he had done his best to make a good impression.

     

    “By the way,” Andrea continued, “I was going over the list for the rehearsal dinner and I was thinking about adding a macrobiotic dish to the menu.”

     

    “Macrobiotic?” Jake uttered groggily.

     

    “Yeah.  You know how people these days are so health conscious.”

     

    “Sure.”

     

    “Great,” she replied cheerfully.  “So anyway, I’ve got a little more shopping to do; it shouldn’t take me more than a few hours.  If you want I can pick you up a shirt and tie, maybe some pants for you to wear tonight?”

     

    “No, no.  It’s okay.  I’ve got plenty of ties.”

     

    “Nothing too loud I hope.”

     

    “No.  They’re as quiet as they come.”

     

    “Wonderful.  Like I said, I shouldn’t be more than a few hours, which should give you plenty of time to get ready.”

     

    “Absolutely,” Jake agreed, half unconscious.

     

    “Okay, sweetie, I’ve really gotta go.  I can’t wait to see you tonight.”

     

    “Yeah, me too.”

     

    “Don’t forget to wear the shoes I bought you.”

     

    “Right.”

     

    “Love ya.  Bye.”

     

    She hung up before he could respond.  Jake shut his cell off and tossed it onto the bed.  He felt like he could sleep for another hour easy.  But he knew he couldn’t.  Sooner or later she would be coming by, and that meant he had to be ready—shaved, showered, and sharp as a razor.

     

    Jake sat up in the bed, yawned, and looked around the room.  The four hundred square foot Williamsburg studio had been his home for the past five years.  The newly gentrified borough of Brooklyn was a haven for struggling artists, musicians, actors, and bohemians of urban culture.  It was the kind of neighborhood that practically catered to creativity.  And he had fit right in.  He had been trying to establish himself as a painter for the past ten years, with little success.  Though still young at thirty-four, he was slowly beginning to have doubts about “making it” in a field where most people never made a dime.  And he wasn’t the only one.  Over the past eight months, his life as a “struggling” artist had come under heavy criticism since getting engaged to Bill and Grace Summers’ eldest daughter.  Jake frowned at the thought of continually having to prove himself to Andrea’s parents, particularly her father.  He had been on unsteady ground (to say the least) when discussing his artistic ambitions with his future in-laws and somehow got the feeling that, if it were up to them, his life would be undergoing some rather cataclysmic changes after the wedding.

     

    But despite his growing concern for his future, he wasn’t ready to give up.  He still managed to sell a few paintings (albeit not enough to support himself) and had begun to develop a small following in the art world.  Jake knew if he could just get himself into one of the better galleries in the city he would be able to break through.  Of course you had to convince a gallery owner your work was “relevant” enough to merit a show.  But if he followed Andrea’s plans to start a family, he could kiss his dreams of artistic achievement goodbye.

     

    Putting his worries aside, Jake stood up and headed for the shower.  The small tiles of the bathroom floor were cold on his bare feet.  It was only January, and winter was in full swing.  Jake stepped into the tub and turned on the hot water.  The rapid stream of liquid heat quickly served to curb the chill that was starting to run up his spine.  When he stepped out ten minutes later, the room was like a sauna.  He toweled off then went over to the mirror and wiped away the heavy layer of condensation that had settled softly atop the glass.  He stared for a moment at the reflection that looked back at him: deep blue eyes, square jaw, thin lips, all set under a mop of thick black hair.  He took his time shaving; brushed his teeth and combed his hair.  When he was sufficiently groomed, he went into the bedroom and dressed in a pair of sharp black pants and a button down shirt.  By the time he was ready it was only a quarter to four.  He still had two hours to kill.  He had a bowl of cereal to hold him over then went down to the local bodega and bought a bottle of Merlot and two bouquets of fresh flowers.  Though he was well past the point of having to bring a gift to a “family” dinner, Jake didn’t like showing up empty handed, and any gesture that moved him closer to being in the good graces of Andrea’s parents was well worth the effort.

     

    When he returned to his apartment he set the wine on the kitchen counter, put the flowers in the fridge, and had another bowl of cereal.  When his hunger was sufficiently curbed, he moved into the main room, popped “King Kong” into the DVD player and hit play.  Jake smiled.  Nothing said classic cinema adventure like a fifty-foot ape and Fay Wray dangling precariously atop the Empire State Building.  He was still seated in front of the television when he heard the front buzzer.  He got up and opened the door.  Andrea was there.  She was impeccably dressed in a strapless black cocktail dress and bright red high heels.

     

    “Hey, why didn’t you call?”

     

    “I called three hours ago,” she said, stepping inside and planting a quick peck on his cheek.

     

    “No, I mean now.  I would’ve come out instead of you having to come in.”

     

    “No, it’s okay.  I have to use the bathroom.”

     

    “Sure.”

     

    Jake watched as Andrea moved across the floor into the bathroom.  He grabbed his blue sport jacket and put it on.  Two minutes later, she walked into the kitchen.

     

    “I swear that is the smallest bathroom on the face of the planet.  And when are you going to get rid of that awful chair?” she asked, eyeing the shabby gray armchair in the center of the room.

     

    “What’s wrong with it?”

     

    “It just looks so old.”

     

    “It’s an antique; it’s supposed to look old.”

     

    “Whatever.  Anyway, are you ready?”

     

    “Yeah.  Here,” Jake said, handing her one of the bouquets from the fridge.  “I got one for your mom, too.”

     

    “Jake, these are orchids.”  It almost sounded like an accusation.

     

    “So.”

     

    “So, my mother’s allergic to orchids.  She gets within five feet of them and she starts sneezing like a crazy person.”

     

    “I didn’t know they sneeze differently.”

     

    “Huh?”

     

    “Crazy people.”

     

    Andrea frowned.  “Please, don’t try to be cute; I’m not in the mood.”

     

    “You sure sounded in the mood on the phone three hours ago.”

     

    “Yeah, and I’ve been running around ever since.”

     

    “Hey, I’m sorry.  I wasn’t trying to be cute; I just made a mistake, that’s all.  She can have the wine.”

     

    “Great, a bottle of wine.  I’m sure she’ll be jumping head over heels for joy.”

     

    “Did I do something wrong?” Jake asked, looking confused.

     

    Andrea lost the attitude.  “Oh, honey, it’s not you.  I just wish you didn’t have to try so hard to impress them.  You’re never going to be what they want.”

     

    “Maybe.  But that doesn’t mean that I should stop trying.”

     

    Jake went over to Andrea and put his arms around her waist.

     

    “If only they knew you like I do.”

     

    “That would be kind of awkward, don’t ya think?  I mean, your mom’s a sweetheart but your dad doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who’s into trying new things.”

     

    Jake smiled.

     

    “Shut up,” Andrea said humorously, pushing Jake away.  “Come on,” she continued, “we don’t want to be late.”

    Click here to download the entire book:

    Saint Agnes’ Eve

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    A modern-day romance inspired by a medieval legend…
    Tom Lazenby’s Saint Agnes’ Eve
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    Saint Agnes’ Eve

    by Tom Lazenby

    Saint Agnes
    5.0 stars – 1 Reviews
    Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled

    Here’s the set-up:

    Holly Likewise has a dream; an extraordinary dream of her future romance with the mystery man whom she is destined to marry. With eyes like the sky and a face like no other (or so she thinks), he’s a true gift from above. And, though still asleep, she’s never felt more alive in her life. For a moment, everything seems perfect. But upon awakening, Holly quickly realizes that her midnight honeymoon has been cut all-too short. Strangely disappointed by the sudden disappearance of her undercover lover, Holly dismisses her nighttime vision as mere fancy; a product of her mother’s stories about destiny and the legend of Saint Agnes’ Eve. At thirty-three years old and prone to disbelief, she has no time for games. Moreover, her busy New York City lifestyle and less than stellar love life have left her feeling slightly depressed about her future. But when she comes face to face with the darkly handsome man she saw in her dream, Holly begins to believe that there might be something to the legend after all.

    Jimmy Cavanaugh has a plan; a master plan to rob a safe holding one million dollars of unclaimed cash from one of the biggest pimps in Las Vegas. From there, he’s on his way to New York City to visit his estranged brother, Jake, while waiting for his passport to come through. Ready to live out the rest of his life on Easy Street, Jimmy’s made the score of a lifetime. With places to go and money to burn, he quickly proceeds to cut a reckless path of uninhibited pleasure across the glittering landscape of the concrete jungle. But somehow trouble still manages to find him, and Jimmy soon discovers that leaving behind a life of crime isn’t as easy as he thought.

    Jake Cavanaugh has a problem. Not only is he being pressured by his demanding twenty-something fiancée to trade in his life as a struggling artist and part-time bartender for a new job selling luxury cars at her workaholic father’s Scarsdale dealership, but his whole life is about to be turned upside down when he gets a surprise visit from his recently paroled, trouble-making twin brother. With things getting crazier by the minute, Jake resigns himself to the seemingly unavoidable fact that his path is destined to take a dramatic turn for the worse. Between his backsliding brother and badgering bride-to-be, his future seems uncomfortably set; until an unexpected encounter with an enchanting illustrator rekindles his desperate passion for art and for the undying love they are destined to share.

    In a classic case of mistaken identity and spellbound soul mates, Saint Agnes’ Eve tells the tale of a modern-day romance inspired by a medieval legend, and brings to light the dawning reality that (for two star-crossed lovers) dreams really do come true.

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    Author Kari Edgren hits the 5-star sweet spot between paranormal and historical romance with A Grave Inheritance

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    A Grave Inheritance

    by Kari Edgren

    A Grave Inheritance
    4.8 stars – 22 Reviews
    Text-to-Speech: Enabled
    Here’s the set-up:
    Book two of Goddess Born

    Selah Kilbrid may descend from the goddess Brigid, but her heart beats–and breaks–the same as any human. Yet enduring the scorn of London’s most noble lords and ladies is a small price to pay for a chance at true happiness. Selah would endure much more for love, and her betrothed, Lord Henry Fitzalan, is prepared to challenge anyone foolish enough to stand in their way, even another goddess born.

    But when a captivating young gentleman draws Selah into a world shadowed by secrets, she is forced to confront her darkest fears. What if some differences are too great to overcome and a future with Henry is doomed from the start? With these doubts threatening her impending marriage, a violent attack on an innocent child pushes Selah to the very edge of her power. She must find a way to cross into the Otherworld and regain her strength, or forfeit the streets of London to death and disease.

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      And here, for your reading pleasure, is our free romance excerpt:

    Chapter One

    Mr. Chubais

     

     

    Pennsylvania, August 1730

     

    The knife felt good in my hand. The smooth bone handle curved into my palm, covering the tang and separating my fingers from the long metal blade. Etched into the burnished steel were the Gaelic words Brigid Buadach.

    Brigid Victorious. The smith god Goibniu had forged the knife for the high goddess Brigid on the eve of battle against the Fomorians. It was a formidable weapon, perfectly balanced and sharp enough to remove a man’s fingers in a single stroke. Or his head if need be. The enchanted steel served one purpose—to defeat the enemy.

    I tightened my grip and pushed the knife into my own enemy, lying inert on the table in my apothecary. By no means a Fomorian warrior, the mound of feverfew leaves easily submitted to Goibniu’s steel. Each downward thrust bit deeper into the pile, smearing the wooden table with green blood and filling the air with a strong, bitter scent. Sweat beaded my forehead, both from the exertion and the fire that burned in the hearth at my back. The door, leading outside to the herb garden, had been left open for what little relief could be found on such a hot August day.

    Though Brigid’s direct descendant and thus rightful heir to her knife, I was feeling far from victorious in my fight against the feverfew. A score of Fomorians would have been a welcome sight if it meant a reprieve from the seemingly endless piles of flora that had fallen beneath my blade these past few weeks. But that race had vanished from Ireland long ago, assuming they ever existed at all. No longer a child, I knew such tales of invading armies and ancient battles contained more fancy than fact, especially in light of the irrefutable evidence clenched in my right hand—in the past six years, I had nicked myself countless times with Brigid’s blade and had yet to lose a finger.

    Since no Fomorians were forthcoming, I would have gladly settled for the magistrate who had sent Henry back to England without me. Lord Henry Goderic Fitzalan to be more accurate, the man I loved and planned to marry—the man who was halfway across the Atlantic by now while I was stuck in Pennsylvania chopping leaves.

    Angered by these thoughts, I quickened my pace, decimating the feverfew as I reduced the pile to a fraction of its original size. Then wiping a finger along the side of the blade, I distributed the shredded pieces among a dozen glass jars, and filled each one to the top with whiskey. In a few weeks the tincture would be an effective remedy for headaches.

    Late afternoon sun spilled into my apothecary, and I still needed to finish the various concoctions brewing in the hearth. No matter what the townsfolk might say about my sham marriage to Henry, they could never speak against my devotion as a healer. The room was scorching hot and my body ached from working non-stop since dawn. Reaching up, I used a sleeve to mop the sweat from my forehead.

    In mid-motion, a sudden chill passed along my spine. My damp skin puckered in response, and I snapped my head up to find a man standing just inside the doorway, watching me. Sunlight haloed his long body, and a broad-brimmed hat cast deep shadows over his face. Peering closer, I glimpsed solid black eyes, so bulbous and misshapen they couldn’t possibly be human. With a gasp, I stepped back toward the fire.

    The man said nothing, just continued to stare at me, his eyes glittering like an enormous beetle. A shower of white hair fell to his shoulders, framing his near-white skin and large pale mouth. He slanted forward and lifted his nose to sniff the air.

    “Who are you?” I demanded. “What do you want?”

    My questions went unanswered as he sniffed once more before moving farther into the room. Already backed against the fire, my only escape was through the door leading to the servants’ quarters.

    On the verge of bolting, I watched the man reach up and pull off his eyes. Heavens Above! My knees swayed beneath me and I nearly screamed from the sight. Two thin metal arms appeared on either side of the bulging pupils—much like a pair of spectacles.

    My scream turned to a strangled laugh, and I forced a smile to help cover my embarrassment. Only a simpleton would have made such an error, no matter the spectacle’s bizarre shape and color. From what I could tell, the lenses were not made of glass, but precious stones that had been carved to the exact size of his eye sockets.

    The man folded down the metal arms and tucked them into his coat pocket. “Good day,” he said politely. “Please forgive the intrusion. I am looking for Mrs. Sarah McBres. Do you know where I may find her?”

    He had managed to surprise me yet again. “Sarah McBres?” I repeated, thinking I may have misheard him.

    “Yes. Are you acquainted with her?” He came farther into the room until only the table stood between us, and I saw at once why he had been wearing the odd spectacles. An albino, his pink irises were no match for the bright summer sun.

    “No…I mean yes,” I said, dragging my thoughts back to his question. “Sarah was my grandmother, but she died before I was born.”

    He stared at me, his pale brow folded in thought. “We received no word of her death. Nor was there word of any offspring. Tell me, how many children did Sarah beget?”

    “Just my mother.” The fire cracked behind me, and I stepped forward to avoid catching my gown on fire.

    “Is your mother at home?”

    His directness disconcerted me. Or maybe it was the unusual softness of his voice that sent another chill along my spine. “First, I would know your name, sir, and the nature of your business with my family.”

    “You may call me Mr. Chubais. I have traveled a great distance to deliver an urgent message to Sarah McBres. Since she no longer lives, I desire to speak with her daughter.”

    “Well, I’m afraid that’s impossible. My mother has been dead these past four years. I am Mistress of Brighmor now, and the last of my family in the Colonies. Any message will have to be delivered to me.”

    He cocked his head to one side, causing the white hair to fall away from his face just enough to reveal a grossly disfigured ear. Thick scabs covered what looked like a bite mark on the bottom lobe. More blood crusted the tip where a large chunk of cartilage was missing. The inflamed sores stood out in sharp contrast against his pale skin.

    “You’ve been hurt,” I said, nodding toward the ear.

    “Yes, on the road from Philadelphia. A fellow traveler did not care for my company and set his hound upon me. The attack was limited to my ear.”

    His story should have moved me, but for some reason it did little to provoke my sympathy. “You are indeed fortunate,” I said matter-of-factly. “Such creatures have been known to kill men.”

    A low growl emanated from deep inside his throat. “The hound took me unaware. Otherwise it would never have survived long enough for even the one bite.”

    The man unnerved me, and duty alone forced my next words. “I can tend to your wounds if you wish. An ointment should take care of the infection though there’s not much to be done for the missing cartilage.”

    His direct gaze moved over my face, taking each feature in turn. “Your grandmother was a renowned healer in Ireland,” he said after a moment. “You have some of her look about you. Did you inherit her skill as well?”

    “I don’t know,” I lied. “She died before I was born, as I’ve already told you.”

    “Maybe someone more experienced would better serve my needs. Is there a doctor in the village?”

    It was an effort not to laugh. Unlike any doctor, I could have grown him a new ear in less time than it took to boil a pot of water. A bit more effort, and I might have been able to restore the color in his skin. Not that I was about to display the full extent of my power when a well-concealed fragment would do. “The closest doctor is in Philadelphia, but those sores will be seeping by the time you make it back to the city.” I shrugged indifferently. “It’s your ear. Do as you please.”

    “I see.” The man’s wide lips stretched to a queer smile, revealing sharp white teeth. “What is your name, child?”

    “Selah Kilbrid.” I bit my tongue to keep from adding that I was no child.

    “How curious,” he said. “How curious, indeed. A Kilbrid and a McBres together in the new world.” He leaned closer and drew in another deep breath. “I should have known sooner—the scent is undeniable.”

    My skin turned to gooseflesh. Without thinking, I reached for the knife, curling my fingers around the handle. The movement caught his attention and I watched his pink eyes widen in surprise. “Brigid Buadach,” he said softly. “Brigid Victorious.”

    Footsteps sounded in the hallway, followed by the appearance of Mr. James Roth, Henry’s personal secretary and my least favorite person. For the first time in a month, I was actually glad for his company.

    “Mr. Roth!” I cried. “What an unexpected surprise.”

    He looked from me to Mr. Chubais. “I require some remedies for the journey tomorrow. I will come back at another time when you are not engaged.”

    “No, no, please don’t go.” I hurried from around the table to James’s side, the knife still clamped in my hand. “I believe our business is concluded, Mr. Chubais, unless you have any further questions for me?”

    There was no trace of his earlier smile. “Our conversation has been most illuminating. I thank you for your time, Miss Kilbrid.” He bowed and turned to leave.

    Just then I remembered the reason for his visit. “Mr. Chubias,” I called, stopping him at the door. In my panic, I had nearly let him leave without delivering the contents of his urgent message. “Did you wish to tell me something?”

    Mr. Chubais half-turned and looked at me. He studied my face once more before his gaze traveled to the knife in my hand. “The heat has made me weary and the exact phrasing has slipped my mind. I shall remember later and send you word.” He reached into his coat pocket for the dark spectacles and placed them over his eyes. “Good day, Miss Kilbrid.”

    I stared at the empty doorway, unsure what to make of my short interview with the albino. No doubt, he knew about Brigid’s descendants or he never would have understood the significance of my parents’ marriage, the marriage of a McBres and a Kilbrid. And what did he mean that the scent was undeniable?

    James cleared his throat. “An acquaintance of yours?” he asked, with open disdain for the albino. Not that I expected otherwise—he had yet to approve of anything about my life, me included.

    I shook my head. “This is the first time I have ever seen him. He inquired about my grandmother, and by the way he spoke, he seemed to have known her from before she came to the Colonies. I’m not sure how though as she left Ireland more than forty years ago.”

    “Oh, yes,” James said. “I almost forgot about your unfortunate connection to that godforsaken land. The king, I’m sure, will not be so negligent once he learns how you’ve stolen his nephew’s attention from Princess Amelia.”

    Amnesia could not have caused James to “forget” my Irish roots as he now claimed. Nor would he miss an opportunity to remind me that Henry was currently betrothed to the king’s second daughter. Against his will, albeit, but betrothed all the same.

    A dozen heated retorts jumped to my throat. I forced them back, determined to remain civil. “You require a remedy, I believe. Something for the journey.”

    “Quite right,” he said. “On the voyage from England I suffered severe seasickness. I was hoping you might have something that would make the return voyage more tolerable.”

    For a brief moment I debated giving him a bottle of senna root that I had brewed as a laxative for Old Nan. One teaspoon twice a day wasn’t enough to cause him too much inconvenience, though it would do absolutely nothing to cure his real ailment. By my humble estimation, seasickness and an occasional loose bowel were the least he deserved in return for his awful behavior towards me this past month.

    I shot a furtive look at the bottles. Passing one onto James would be easy enough. Getting away with it would prove more difficult. He had asked for my help, and to deny him was a serious breach of my gift. If Brigid learned that I had purposefully harmed another person, I would be cut off from the Otherworld and the very source of my power. No human was worth the risk, least of all James Roth.

    I took a jar of powdered ginger from the shelf instead. “This should help. Brew one teaspoon in a cup of hot water four times a day. You may add some sugar to help with the taste.”

    James nodded and took the jar. “Thank you, Miss Kilbrid.” Without so much as a smile, he turned and left the room.

    My pleasure, Mr. Roth. And may the devil take you before the morning.

    Such luck had eluded me of late, and for about the millionth time I cursed the circumstances that kept me in the Colonies a month longer than Henry and, by his insistence, in James’s daily company. To be sure, I had bristled at the idea of a protector, but Henry had stood firm and refused to sail unless I agreed to let James stay, regardless of the magistrate’s threat to have him flogged.

    I now had nine more weeks to tolerate that insufferable man—one to travel to Philadelphia and secure passage to England, and another eight at sea. I only needed to be patient awhile longer. Then Henry could deal with James, though it was probably too much to hope that he would be dismissed from service as the two men happened to be the best of friends.

    Alone once more, I returned to the hearth to stir the liquid simmering in one of the large black pots. Steam rose up, bathing my skin and chasing away the last of the chill left by Mr. Chubais. Based solely on our conversation, I failed to understand his connection to the goddess born. Yet what his words did not clearly disclose, I felt confirmed a hundred times in my core—the man could not be trusted.

    Something about him gave me the jitters. Upon deeper reflection, I knew it wasn’t his unusual appearance, the pasty white skin and pink eyes. As a healer, I had seen much worse and wasn’t bothered by such physical afflictions. His soft voice and tendency to sniff the air were disconcerting, but even these mannerisms could not explain my strong aversion to the man. Something else persisted, something much deeper than the eye could see. If not for the cryptic message, I would have preferred to never see him again, which could well be the case gauging by the lengthening shadows in my apothecary. At first light I was leaving for Philadelphia. The man had less than twelve hours to recover from the heat enough to send word. Message or no, my reunion with Henry would not be delayed by even a day.

    Midnight came and went by the time I wiped the last pot clean and then looked around, satisfied with my work. The room was tidy, everything neat and in place just as my mother would have liked it. Before her death we had spent countless hours working together in this room, my mother teaching me the art of healing and the many secrets of our kind. I smiled from the memory when tears unexpectedly stung my eyes. Was I really going to walk away from this? From everything I had ever known?

    Needing to clear my head, I crossed to the open door and inhaled a deep breath of the sweet, earthy scent of ripening wheat. The full moon cast a silvery glow as I stared toward the small family plot where my parents and maternal grandparents were buried. Beyond that, hidden deep in the forest stood the altar that served as a passageway into the Otherworld and the source of my power. For eighteen years Brighmor had been the center of my world in one form or another. Then Henry stepped off a ship and changed my life forever.

    A pang of longing began to swell in my chest, and for the first time since he left, I felt apprehensive about leaving my home to travel halfway across the known world. What if I depleted all my power before I could cross into the Otherworld? Or if the ship sank and I ended up drowned at the bottom of the Atlantic? Or if I did make it to England only to learn that Henry had experienced a change of heart and agreed to marry Princess Amelia after all?

    This last thought proved worse than the others put together. I shoved it aside, unwilling to even consider the possibility. My mind was decided, and I wasn’t about to throw away my only chance at happiness because I was too scared or nostalgic to leave Brighmor. These stone walls were sturdy. They would still be here when I returned—if I ever returned.

    A gentle breeze stirred the night air, brushing the stray hair around my face and causing the candles to flicker on the table behind me. My new life would start tomorrow. Until then I needed to sleep, at least a few hours before the sun came up. I turned to go when something moved in the trees nearest my garden, a flash of white that disappeared in the blink of an eye. My nape prickled in warning, strong enough to make me shudder.

    “Who’s there?” I called.

    Silence followed and I took a cautious step back into the doorway.

    A full minute passed while I waited for any sign of movement. Nothing appeared, and after another minute of watching, it became clear that exhaustion had finally gotten the best of me.

    With a muttered curse, I closed the apothecary door and extinguished all the candles, save for one to navigate the darkened house. On a whim, I also picked up Brigid’s knife on my way out of the room. Certainly, such a blade would come in handy on the voyage.

    From the servants’ wing, I passed through the kitchen, my meager light temporarily aided by the red embers glowing in the cooking hearth. Another door led to the main house, into a long hallway so black my candle did little to dispel the darkness. I continued toward the front stairs, thankful for the thin strip of moonlight that spilled across the hallway from the adjacent room.

    I crossed through the light in two quick steps, when a faint scratching sound caused my feet to stutter. Darting a look into the room, I glimpsed a large shadow through the window as it ducked out of sight. I gasped and jerked back, inadvertently knocking the candle from the holder. In the pitch-black, I hurried down the hallway, the soft thump of my slippers breaking the heavy silence.

    Nearly at the stairs, I came to a sudden stop when something scratched again, this time against the front door. A tentative rattle of the iron handle sent my heart flying straight into my sternum. Rather than run, I found myself rooted in place, staring toward the door as the rattling grew more determined.

    The door refused to budge, having been bolted for the night by one of the servants. The room soon fell silent, and yet I waited, every muscle held taught, hardly even breathing so as not to give myself away. The silence pressed on until it appeared the would-be intruder had left, I hoped from Brighmor altogether, but quite possibly to look for another entrance. Whichever the case, I now had time to alert James of the situation. He, in turn, could wake the numerous field hands who slept above the carriage house, and together they could search the grounds.

    I had just willed my feet to move when the door handle creaked sharply. The iron groaned under the strain, and the wooden jam splintered around the bolt. The commotion was over in seconds, the loud protests of metal and wood replaced by the sound of my ragged breath. Where the door had previously held fast, a sliver of silvery moonlight now cut through the darkness. Confusion clouded my head as the sliver continued to grow to a wide arc, and I found myself staring at the shrubberies that lined the front walkway. Then fear took me, stealing my voice and turning my first scream into a small, terrified squeak.

    A large beast stepped into the entry, its pale, canine body illuminated in the moonlight. The summer heat turned to ice around me and I started to shiver, overtaken by a tremendous chill. Partway in the room, the beast lifted its muzzle to sniff the air, each exhaled breath reappearing as a frosty puff.

    Blood pounded through my heart. The beast was too big to fight single-handed. To survive, I had to run. Either back down the hallway to the servants’ quarters or up the stairs to my bedroom where Henry had insisted I keep a loaded pistol. I opted for the pistol, hoping a well-aimed shot to the head could stop a creature capable of breaking through solid wood doors and iron locks. Chancing a tentative step toward the stairs, I heard a snarl of warning. Another step, just the smallest movement, brought more snarls as the beast moved closer, cutting off my path.

    Not daring to move again, I pressed my back into the wall, aware of one last option other than simply playing dead. I might lack the strength to kill the creature, but I could at least hurt it a little, or even scare it off for the few necessary seconds I needed to get up the stairs. Slowly lifting my left hand, I hurled the brass candleholder straight at the beast. There was a meaty thud, followed by a loud clatter as the candleholder hit the wood floor and rolled away. I tensed, ready to bolt.

    It didn’t even flinch! I had hit the devil with all my strength, and it didn’t even flinch! Instead, it tilted its head to the side, the previous snarls replaced by an odd wheezing sound. At first I thought it might be whimpering when another thought flashed through my mind. The cursed thing was laughing at me!

    By now I was too mad to try playing dead.

    I stared at the beast, a strange fire stirring deep inside my chest, feeding my anger. “Stop laughing,” I hissed.

    It wheezed some more, obviously amused by my words.

    The fire surged inside me, white hot and deadly. “Get out of my house or…or… I’ll tear your blasted heart out!”

    The beast snarled in response and edged another step closer. Then it lunged, its teeth flashing at my neck. I screamed, this time loud enough to wake the dead, and threw my hands up to protect myself.

    It slammed into me, knocking my head hard against the plaster. My arms jolted painfully, pinned to my chest beneath its massive weight. A long hiss, like the sound of searing meat, came from between us and my nose filled with the scent of burnt fur and flesh. At once, the beast’s savage snarls turned to howls of pain, then fell silent. A bitter cold moved into my right hand, stinging my fingers before I remembered the smooth, bone handle clamped in my fist. I let go, and the beast sank to the ground, Brigid’s knife deep in its chest. The fire receded inside of me, sapping my strength along with the maddening rage.

    Footsteps came pounding down the stairs. I turned to see James, a candle in one hand and sword drawn in the other. “What happened?” he demanded.

    Unable to speak yet, I let my eyes fall toward the ground.

    James followed with the candle, sucking in a hard breath when he saw the beast lying at my feet. “What is that?”

    I stared down, at a loss what to tell him. Canine in form, its fur was completely white, except for the newly formed bloodstain around its heart.

    James moved the candle closer. “I’ve never seen anything like it,” he said. “Could be a distant cousin to the wolf hound, though it’s larger by half. What was it doing in here?”

    “I don’t know,” I said, finally recovering the use of my voice. “It broke through the door and attacked me.”

    James poked the hound with the tip of his sword. “Is it dead?”

    “I think so. I had the knife from my apothecary. The hound fell on the blade when it lunged at me.” I held back how the blade had slid into the creature’s chest, melting its flesh and bone like butter.

    James leaned over for a better look. “This wasn’t its first fight.” He pointed towards the hound’s head, “Something has taken a bite out of its ear.”

    My knees buckled and I braced myself against the wall to keep from falling. James was right. One ear looked severely mangled, a portion of cartilage gone and the remainder covered in a thick layer of scabs. The wound was unmistakable, as was the nature of Mr. Chubais’s urgent message—to kill the goddess born.

    The body began to quiver and James jumped back. A blue flame sprang from the bloodstained chest, barely missing my skirts as it raced over the fur, encasing the hound in a blanket of icy fire. It was over in seconds, the carcass reduced to a pile of white ash.

    “Merciful God!” James exclaimed.

    His words mirrored my thoughts exactly.

    Stooping, I picked up the knife from the ash, marveling at how good it felt in my hand. It was a formidable weapon, forged by the smith god for one purpose—to defeat the enemy.

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    A Grave Inheritance

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