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An emotional tale of how one young women’s “monsters” manifested into an eating disorder… In The Presence of Monsters: The story of a fat girl, who wasn’t by Gabriella Leigh

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In the Presence of Monsters: The story of a fat girl, who wasn’t

by Gabriella Leigh
Everyday price: $3.69
Here’s the set-up:

A tightly composed account of how the author became so entirely obsessed with an imaginary ideal and fed her “monsters” with bouts of over indulgences and constant irresolution, “In the Presence of Monsters: the story of a fat girl who wasn’t,” is an emotional tale of how her “monsters” eventually manifested into what she calls, a “manageable” eating disorder. On the surface, her struggles looked like trite bouts of over indulgences … running far too many miles, eating way too many calories, drinking too much wine, spending too much money, but the internal despair was as thick as drying cement … throughout the book there are moments of humor, of glory and those of utter failure. Laced with journal outtakes and recent reflection, it’s a story people will resonate with and find comfort in knowing they’re not the only one who harbors absurd thoughts about their body and their place in this world.

Journal Entry, February Sixteenth, 2000: I have been hungry before. Although I cannot recall any occasion in recent times. But as certain as I am sitting here today, I know I have experienced the basic human feeling of hunger. I know I have felt the pangs before. Felt the subtle ache in my gut. I used to go for days without eating anything other than popcorn and drinking sugar-free Swiss Miss hot cocoa. The difference though, I suppose, is that back then I chose to be hungry. It was a decision I made fully aware and fully capable of altering had I wished. But I never wished—never wished to be full that is. Rather, I wished to be frightfully hungry. That my ribs would stick out and my stomach sink inward. That I could, in essence, disappear within my clothes. That I could be nothing more than a shadow. That my footsteps would be faintly heard like an exhale of breath. Yes, I know for certain that I have been hungry before. I just cannot remember when.I have, however, been full many times. Far too many times. In fact I have been so enormously full that I have wondered, from a purely physiological point, why my stomach hadn’t exploded. Because it has felt like it might. And eventually you would think that its elasticity would give way. But it never does. And then suddenly, I am given a chance to feel superficially hungry. To become empty again at last! Only to be filled up again, and again.

Journal Entry, June Third, 2003: While blow drying my hair this morning I fell to the floor. I stripped my clothes off and lay there for ten minutes. Sweating profusely. I felt each and every tiny bead of sweat take shape across my forehead. On my lower back. My ankles. My hair was wet again. I was cold. I felt for my pulse. It was weak. I thought for sure my heart would be racing. Was I having an allergic reaction to something? No. Probably not. I feared it was because I hadn’t eaten in three days. I sat on the bed, underneath the ceiling fan and waited. Slowly I was calm again. The sweating stopped. I wondered if this would happen again. After a few more minutes passed, I stood, walked to the bathroom and took another shower.

Epic Fantasy Alert! A new hero must rise, or all is lost… The Chaos Gate by Jeff Pantanella

Today’s Kindle Daily Deals!

brought to you by:

The Chaos Gate (The Ever Hero Saga Book 1)

by Jeff Pantanella
4.2 stars – 9 reviews
FREE with Kindle UnlimitedLearn More
Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:
The arrival of an unlikely traveler to the Abyssal ice world of Gathos creates a tear in the Amaranthine Barrier, allowing an unspeakable evil to enter the Mortal Realm and unleash a world of horror on humankind. Only one man can stop the madness, but the demigod, Aetenos, has vanished and hasn’t been seen for over a hundred years.
Kasai Ch’ou and his mentor, blind Master Choejor, must flee the burning Monastery of Ordu in a desperate attempt to escape the wicked creatures of nightmare who have overrun the holy sanctuary. The two fugitives must reach the city of Gethem and warn the Grandmaster of the Seventh Heaven before the remaining monasteries of Aetenos fall to the same deadly fate.But to reach Gethem, they must travel across the dangerous wilderness and through dark forests, prowled by preternatural beasts and haunted by witches. Meanwhile, other sinister forces vie for power to overthrow the king and plunge the land into darkness.

A new hero must rise, or all is lost.

The Chaos Gate is the first book in a dark fantasy series featuring unwilling heroes, crafty devils, capricious witches, and terrifying demons. If you like fast-paced, action adventures, with high court intrigue and highly imaginative worlds, you’ll love the first installment in Jeff Pantanella’s page-turning Ever Hero Saga.