How to Recognize Your Future Ex-Husband is a simple, clear, and concise guide for maneuvering through the initial stages of dating that helps to distinguish who to pursue and who to leave behind.

The central theme of the book is alerting women to “the signals from within” that are often ignored. These signals more often than not point to the eventual dissolution of the relationship. The book’s straightforward presentation is organized around key issues encountered in the first few weeks and months of dating. Anger, boundaries, conflict avoidance, dependency, jealousy, money, and sex are among the many topics discussed via a mix of questions, answers, and personal stories. At its core, How to Recognize Your Future Ex-Husband addresses the pitfalls of the rationalization process and helps to identify which doubts must be listened to and which ones may be discarded in the pursuit of lasting love and marriage.

“This is the book for single women sizing up a man. Debra Weiner has written an encyclopedia all about decoding male behavior. She explains how to recognize trouble, interpret it, and run! It is wonderfully written, wise, and enlightening. You should not leave your single state without it!” — Margo Howard, “Dear Margo” for Creators Syndicate and wowowow.com

“Single women everywhere, listen up! Do not leave for a date without slipping your lipstick and Debra Weiner’s How to Recognize Your Future Ex-Husband into your bag. It’s a veritable dating bible, and I wish I’d had her settle-or-else advice in my pocket 60 dates ago. Weiner deftly dissects dysfunctional men and their relationship patterns with clear and certain language, and tells you exactly when it’s appropriate to run for the hills. She demonstrates how to recognize when you just shouldn’t be that into him and why. Her style is frank, honest and free of cliches– exactly how a book about dating and finding the perfect mate should be.” — Rachel Machacek, author of The Science of Single: One Woman’s Grand Experiment in Modern Dating, Creating Chemistry, and Finding Love

“One read of Debra Weiner’s How to Recognize Your Future Ex-Husband, will have you leap over an ‘ex,’ and head straight for a prince! A fun and straight-forward format offers sound advice that makes great sense.” — Laurie Graff, author of You Have to Kiss a Lot of Frogs and The Shiksa Syndrome

“With her warm and engaging prose, Debra Weiner shares personal experiences and thought-provoking commentaries that will help readers to steer clear of that wishy-washy path to Mr. Wrong. Even married couples will benefit by becoming aware of their own potentially-alienating behaviors!” — Kristin Espinasse, author of Words in a French Life

“Debra is wise, witty, and perceptive, with an unerring b.s. detector. Where was she when I was deciding who to marry, and (disastrously) what to let slide? Let this book be your eyes when you find yourself blinded by love.” — Candace Walsh, editor, Ask Me About My Divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On

I have just completed writing a book, How to Recognize Your Future Ex-Husband.

The idea for this book came about during a conversation I had with a former therapist when we were talking about how prevalent the rationalization process was among women we knew. This led to her sharing a story with me about a friend of hers who had recently called to tell her all about a new relationship and how she had found “the one.” After politely listening to her friend speak almost exclusively in superlatives (based on four weeks of dating), she said, “Congratulations. I think you have just met your future ex-husband.” I was so enthralled by the phrase that I began to work on a project that would evolve into this book.

I am often asked to summarize the essence of How to Recognize Your Future Ex-Husband and my answer is always the same: understanding the rationalization process.

It is my personal belief that the “R” word is responsible for so many of our choices when it comes to romantic relationships (and life in general). We need to make sense of what we do and why we do it. But where it becomes sticky is when we absolutely know that we are heading down the wrong path but continue to do so despite our internal GPS telling us otherwise.

For many years I had been in pursuit of partnership prior to getting married almost a decade ago. While I am not a trained therapist, I have worked with many gifted professionals throughout most of my life who have helped me to understand why I accumulated so many disappointing relationships. To me, this is analogous to being a good cook who has acquired her culinary acumen simply by spending a great deal of time in the kitchen.