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Kindle Daily Deals For Thursday, September 5 – Bestsellers in All Genres, All Bargain Priced For a Limited Time! plus Beth Trissel’s Somewhere in the Highlands (Somewhere in Time)

But first, a word from … Today’s Sponsor

4.2 stars – 16 Reviews
Or currently FREE for Amazon Prime Members Via the Kindle Lending Library
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The MacDonalds are coming! When Elizabeth MacDonald (a.k.a Beezus Mac) thrusts a sealed gold box at Angus Fergus amid panicked requests for him to hide the stolen artifact, she has no idea the ancient cloth it contains bestows unearthly powers. Red MacDonald knows and he’s hell-bent on traveling 400 years into the future to claim the charmed relic, even kill for it.

Protecting Beezus from his old nemesis is only one of Fergus’s problems. Before they can stop him, Morley MacDonald, descendant of Red MacDonald, snatches the prize and leaps through the time portal to head the MacDonald clan and kill Fergus’s MacKenzie ancestor. If he succeeds, Fergus will cease to exist.

Danger grows in the feud between the MacDonalds and the MacKenzies as the pair, along with an ingenious friend and high tech inventions, returns to 1604 Scotland to face these brawny Highlanders and reunite with kin. Will Fergus overcome his mistrust of Beezus and fan the growing spark between them before they battle Morley? If he waits, it may be too late.

5-Star Amazon Review
“I sooooo love time travel romance. I was hoping there was going to be a story for Fergus when I finished reading Somewhere My Lass ( Niall and Mora’s story). Believable, everyday people become heroes. Great read!”

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KND Kindle Free Book Alert for September 4: Six Bestselling Freebies, Just For Today! Plus The Best Kindle Deals Anywhere, All Sponsored by Michael Adamedes, Robert Prior’s Say Hello To Happiness (Today’s Sponsor – $1.99)

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But first, a word from ... Today's Sponsor
The book explains very clearly with examples, the power of changing your thoughts and therefore your quality of life.
Say Hello To Happiness
by Michael Adamedes, Robert Prior
4.8 stars - 25 reviews
Supports Us with Commissions Earned
Currently FREE for Amazon Prime Members
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here's the set-up:
Can you imagine a life free of worry and stress? How would it feel to lead a secure, prosperous life filled with love and joy?

"Say Hello to Happiness" offers a proven thirty-one day path to happiness and fulfillment. Whilst the book’s presentation is fun, informative and uplifting, the content is insightful, transformative and profound, as it communicates directly to the unconscious mind.

If the affirmations are absorbed one day at a time, as intended, you will experience:
* an increased sense of self-worth
* more harmonious relationships
* significantly lower levels of stress
* a sustained zest for life!

This extraordinary book reveals, for the first time, the three primal self-limiting beliefs that underlie unhappiness. The result of thirty years of psychological detective work by the innovative Australian psychotherapist Michael Adamedes, the book was developed in collaboration with Robert Prior an inspirational teacher and founder of Australia’s leading tuition college for secondary school students.

"Say Hello to Happiness" heralds a breakthrough in the understanding of the fundamental causes of stress and unhappiness and provides renewed hope for the individual and humanity as a whole.

Get ready to embark on an uplifting journey of discovery!
One Reviewer Notes:
The groundbreaking Adamedes' Triad is described with simple terms that can be understood easily by all readers. The three self-limiting beliefs are well explained with examples of corresponding resultant behaviour, which allow us to draw parallels and identify the causes of our unhappiness. The affirmations in the 31-day programme can then help us in overcoming these negative beliefs. Say Hello to Happiness is a great combination of theoretical knowledge of the human mind and practical methods of breaking down negative emotions. From those who are seeking ways to get out of stress to those who simply wants to have a read about our emotions, this book is highly recommended. Don't forget to enjoy the pretty illustrations as well!
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About the Author
Robert Prior is the founder of a leading Australian tuition college for secondary school students. He is a brilliant and inspiring mathematics teacher, logical and thorough, while also being creative and fun. One of his greatest strengths is the ability to make complex matters seem simple. In late 1991, during a period of major emotional upheaval, Robert turned to self-help books, self-examination, meditation and the guidance of inspirational people. According to Robert, “For most of my life, I had been operating predominantly on logic and rationality. However, because that approach was no longer making me happy, I made a commitment to finding a deep and lasting inner peace.” At one particularly difficult time, Robert was referred to Michael Adamedes for counselling. He found Michael’s innovative techniques so effective that he quickly found he no longer needed therapy. As a consequence, Robert and Michael forged a deep friendship and began collaborating on various personal development projects, culminating in this wonderful, uplifting book.
UK CUSTOMERS: Click on the title below to download
Say Hello To Happiness

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6 FREEBIES – Just For Today!

Prices may change at any moment, so always check the price before you buy! This post is dated Wednesday, September 4, 2013, and the titles mentioned here may remain free only until midnight PST tonight.

Please note: References to prices on this website refer to prices on the main Amazon.com website for US customers. Prices will vary for readers located outside the US, and even for US customers, prices may change at any time. Always check the price on Amazon before making a purchase.

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3.8 stars – 53 Reviews
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How far would you go to save your loved one?  Would you abandon all allegiances?  Would you break all the rules? From Derek Blass, the bestselling author of the first Cruz Marquez thriller Enemy in Blue, comes the charged follow up installment.

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Cooch

by Robert Cook

4.3 stars – 25 Reviews
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Alejandro Mohammed Cuchulain, called Cooch or Alex, became a Marine at sixteen and a CIA special-operations trainee at 17. His father is a wheel-chair bound former Marine and Medal of Honor winner who gives Alex advice as to how to survive in a violent world. His mother is the daughter of a Bedouin sheikh who sends a young Alex off, during his summer breaks, to experience the Bedouin life. The combination of a very young start in learning the art and craft of violence, combined with a thirst for knowledge combine to help him to become both a noted designer and user of explosives and an expert in Islamic affairs. Violent, yet thoughtful, Cooch represents the best in fast-moving, popular thrillers.

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4.3 stars – 14 Reviews
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Fifteen-year-old Anna Moore is whisked back in time through the forces of a mysterious mirror to the first century AD during the Roman Empire.

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4.1 stars – 76 Reviews
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Howard Bell thought he hit rock bottom the day he returned to his former employer with a loaded gun. Instead of putting a scare into his ex-boss as he intended, things quickly get out of hand, and he kills five people. Howard is sentenced to life at an experimental prison camp off the coast of Antarctica, and he soon learns the true definition of “rock bottom.” Prison life at the remote island involves back-breaking work in the illegal mine run by the corrupt warden and his abusive guards. After a mysterious object is discovered deep in the mine, the inmates and staff start dying from an unknown infection. Howard is lucky to find himself one of the few survivors immune to the pathogen, but he and his fellow inmates learn something far more sinister and terrifying also has emerged from the mine. The truly lucky ones are already dead.

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The Gar Diaries

by Louis Bourgeois

5.0 stars – 10 Reviews
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Young Lucas grew up as a gar fisherman’s son, in the steamy backwater bayous of southeastern Louisiana. His story invites you into a brutal world that is dominated by domestic violence, poverty, and the day-to-day struggle for survival … a struggle that might have left even the strongest of us emotionally scarred and bitter.

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The Art of Forgetting

by Peter Palmieri

5.0 stars – 4 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
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A brilliant author trapped by his crippling amnesia. The only one who can free him, a doctor plagued by his past. When dark forces threaten to quash Dr. Lloyd Copeland’s controversial cure, his career and his life, falling in love is the ultimate complication.

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KND Freebies: Mesmerizing thriller THE SURROGATE is featured in today’s Free Kindle Nation Shorts excerpt

 A holy relic …
an innocent girl …
and a diabolical experiment.


International bestseller
The Surrogate, Book One of the intriguing Sudarium Trilogy, is a “mesmerizing” thriller with an ingenious plot  and “captivating characters.”Available for the first time for just 99 cents!

The Surrogate, The Sudarium Trilogy – Book one

by Leonard Foglia, David Richards

4.6 stars – 17 Reviews
Or currently FREE for Amazon Prime Members Via the Kindle Lending Library
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

In a remote corner of the Cathedral of Oviedo in Spain, Father Miguel Alvarez is in charge of taking care of the most holy relic of all Christendom: the sudarium, the towel-sized cloth which covered the face of Christ immediately following his death. At eighty years of age, he prays fervently before the relic. Suddenly, a pair of hands grips his head, forcing him to breathe a moistened cloth. Before losing consciousness, he sees a masked figure with a scalpel in his hand leaning over the holy bloodstained sudarium.

Seven years later, in Fall River, Massachusetts, Hannah Manning, a 19-year-old waitress, is waiting for a sign — something that will tell her what she is supposed to be doing with her life. One day, she answers an ad for surrogate mothers, and with that decision, the emptiness in Hannah’s life subsides. But unfortunately for Hannah, the diabolical conspiracy that will completely change her life is just beginning.

Praise for The Surrogate:

Wonderful!
“I simply could not put this trilogy down…characters one winds up caring so deeply about…Thoughtful, exciting, and fun! What a great read!

Holy moly, shockingly good!!!
“It is such a well-written mystery….If you are a Dan Brown or Steve Berry fan, this is just the book for you…a religious thriller that thrills without being preachy at all!!! Loved it!”

an excerpt from

The Surrogate

by Leonard Foglia & David Richards

1:1

(Seven years ago)

How fortunate he was!

The last 40 years of his priesthood had been spent in the cathedral, amidst the gold carvings, the soaring arches and the monumental stonework that with time had taken on the appearance of gray velvet. Such beauty never failed to move him.

            But it was on this day, every year, that Don Miguel Alvarez was reminded how truly blessed he was.

          This was the day the precious relic was taken out and displayed to the faithful. For only a minute, the archbishop held it high above the altar, so that the throngs who packed the nave, could see it with their own eyes, marvel at its provenance and revere it in all its holiness. Usually, during services, the 14th century edifice echoed with coughs and footsteps and the bustle of people kneeling down and getting back up. But for that one minute, every year, the stillness was all-enveloping.

           Thinking about it sent a shiver down his spine.

           Once the mass was ended, the archbishop would kiss the silver frame that held the relic, then give it to Don Miguel, who removed it to the safety of the sacristy. Watching over it in the sacristy, until the congregation had departed, was both a duty and an honor for the priest. But nothing like the honor that awaited him, once the congregation was gone, the thick oaken cathedral doors had been closed, and the lights that bathed the altar in molten yellow had been extinguished.

            For then, Don Miguel Alvarez took the relic back to its resting place in the Camara Santa, the holy chamber, “one of the holiest places in all of Christianity,” he liked to inform visitors. Sometimes, pride got the better of him and he said “the holiest place.”

           For 40 years now, he had made this journey with this most venerable of relics. He could have done it with his eyes closed, so well he knew the feel of the tile in the ambulatory under his feet. The earthen scent and cool air, coming from below, were enough to alert him he was before the wrought iron gates that protected the access to the Camara Santa.

          At his approach, an attendant, stationed outside the gates, unlocked the massive padlock, threw back the bolt and allowed Don Miguel to enter. A staircase rose up before him, turned left, then left again, before descending to the chamber that was his destination. Millions of pilgrims, not to mention kings and popes, had passed this way over the centuries just to behold the cupboard that contained what he now held in his hands.

         Don Miguel was nearing 80 and arthritis plagued his joints. But never here. Never when his hands touched the relic. A kind of rapture seized him and he had the impression of floating over the worn steps.

          He came to a second grille, through which were visible the various chests and cases that housed the cathedral’s many treasures. The attendant unlocked this gate, too, then retreated up the stairs, so that the priest could perform his chores in privacy.

          As he had done so often in the past, Don Miguel placed the relic on the silver-plated chest before him and knelt to pray. Its ultimate place was in the gilded wardrobe against the wall. But the priest was reluctant to put it away so quickly. The moments he spent alone with this holiest of relics, contemplating its miraculous promise, were among the most sublime of his existence.

          In front of the cathedral, a warm wind swept across the broad, treeless plaza, and the last of the congregation headed home or to their favorite cafes, jabbering noisily, as they went. But the holy chamber, cool and peaceful, was beyond the reach of time and turbulence.

          Here Don Miguel was surrounded by all the symbols and icons of his faith. The  celebrated “Cross of the Angels,” a magnificent gold cross – square in shape, studded with jewels and supported by two kneeling angels – was not only the symbol of the cathedral, but of  the whole region, where he had been born and lived his long life. The chest to the right of him contained bones of the disciples – the disciples’ disciples, actually – in velvet bags. Six thorns, said to be from Christ’s crown, were stored in the cupboard. So was a sole from one of St. Peter’s sandals.

          But they paled to insignificance before the relic that had been entrusted to him. The relic of relics. What had he, a simple priest, never much of a scholar and now an old man, done to deserve such fortune?

         He closed his eyes.

         A gloved hand suddenly wrapped around his mouth.  He tried to turn and see who it was, but the hand gripped his face like a vice. He smelled leather, then another, sharper odor stung his nostrils. Even as he struggled for air, a second pair of hands reached past him for the relic.

          “No, no, lo toques,” he cried out, as best he could. “Estás loco? Cómo se te ocurre que puedas tocarlo?”

          Touch the relic? Was this person mad?  The gloved hand muffled his cries. His body had little resistance to offer and the pungent odor was making his head spin. He could only watch in horror as the second intruder took a small scalpel from his jacket. Don Miguel  braced for the sear of pain that would mean the blade was being drawn across his neck. But instead, the person turned away, moved toward the silver chest and bent over to examine the relic more closely.

            The priest cursed himself inwardly.  He should have done his job and returned promptly to the cathedral. It was his selfish desire to be alone in the Camara Santa that had allowed this terrible sacrilege to happen. The Cross of the Angels seemed to be melting before his eyes, the jewels turning to red and green slime that oozed over the wings of the angels at the base. He realized that, deprived of oxygen, his vision was distorted and his mind was hallucinating.

           All he could think was how miserably he had failed. What God had given into his care, no man should look upon except with awe. But because of him, the relic was being defiled. His heart ached with shame.

          God would never forgive him.

1:2

Hannah Manning was waiting for a sign. Something that would tell her what she was supposed to be doing with her life, guide her somehow. She had been waiting for months now.

She gazed at the gold star on the top of the Christmas tree and thought of the Wise Men who had followed it a long time ago. She wasn’t foolish enough to believe her sign would be anything so grand or her destiny so momentous. Who was she? Just a waitress. For the time being, though, not forever. Only until she got her sign. And it didn’t even have to be a sign, she was thinking now. Just a nudge or a push would be sufficient. Like the wise men, she’d know instinctively what it meant.

         She had drifted long enough.

        “Do you believe it? Seven lousy dollars, twenty-three cents and a Canadian dime.” In a booth at the rear of the diner, Teri Zito was tallying her tips for the night. “Everybody’s back to their usual chintzy selves.”

        “I didn’t do very well, either,” said Hannah.

         “Ah, what do you expect in this cheapskate burg?” Teri tucked the money into the right pocket of the frilly brown-and-white checked apron that the waitresses at the Blue Dawn Diner wore as part of their uniform. “The holidays are the only time it occurs to anybody around here to leave a decent tip. And these seven lousy dollars and 23 cents are telling me that the holidays are officially over.”

           Standing on a wooden stool, Hannah was carefully removing the ornaments from the diner’s spindly Christmas tree, which was looking even spindlier without lights and shiny baubles to fill in the holes. She reached up and with a jerk tugged the gold star off the top branch. The fluorescent lights reflected off the metallic foil, spangling the ceiling.

           Two events had conspired to rouse Hannah out of her lethargy. In the fall, most of her high school friends had left Fall River for college or jobs in Providence and Boston. Her sense of being left behind had only grown more intense with each passing month. She realized that they’d actually been preparing for the future all through high school and she hadn’t.

       Then in December, the anniversary of her parents’ death had come around, which meant they’d been gone for seven years. Hannah was shocked to find that she couldn’t see their faces any longer. Of course, she had images of them in her mind, but the images all came from photographs. None of her memories seemed to be first-hand. Snapshots of her mother laughing and her father cavorting in the back yard were what she remembered. She couldn’t hear the sound of her mother’s laughter any more or feel her father’s touch when he swooped her off the ground and tossed her playfully into the air.

         She couldn’t go on forever being the girl who lost her parents.  She was a grown-up, now.

         In fact, Hannah Manning had only recently turned nineteen and appeared several years younger.  She had a pretty face, still childlike in some ways with its turned-up nose and eyebrows that arched perfectly over pale blue eyes. People had to look closely to see the scar that bisected the left eyebrow, the consequence of a tumble off a bicycle at the age of nine. Her hair was long and wheat-colored and to Teri’s enduring exasperation, naturally wavy.

          Hannah’s height – five feet seven – and her willowy figure were also  matters of some envy for Teri, who had never quite recovered her fighting weight, as she put it, after giving birth to two sons. Teri was now a good twenty pounds heavier than the Jenny Craig ideal for one of her compact stature, but she consoled herself with the thought that she was also a good ten years older than Hannah, who probably wouldn’t be so svelte at 29, either.

         If only the girl would slap a little make-up on that face, Teri mused,  she’d be a real knock-out. But Hannah didn’t seem to have much interest in boyfriends. If one had ever shown up at the diner, Teri certainly hadn’t seen him and she was pretty good about keeping an eye on the men.

    “Remember when Christmas actually meant something – besides money!” Hannah sighed, wrapping the star in tissue paper and putting it into a cardboard box for safe-keeping. “You couldn’t go to sleep at night because you were afraid Santa was going to pass over your house. And  you’d wake up at 6 and there were all those packages under the tree and it would be snowing outside. People sang carols and had snowball fights and everything. It was wonderful.”

    “That was just a commercial you saw on TV, honey” replied Teri, who checked her right pocket in the unlikely event she had overlooked an extra bill or two. “I don’t think Christmas ever existed like that. Maybe in your fantasy childhood, but not in mine! Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—-”

         “It’s okay.”

           That had to stop, too, Hannah thought. Everyone treating her with kid gloves because she didn’t have parents, minding what they said for fear of hurting her feelings.

         “I think that Christmas trees are wrong,” she announced loudly,  as she stepped off the stool and contemplated the brittle, dried-out specimen, bereft of its construction paper chains and plastic angels. “We cut down a perfectly beautiful tree, just so we can drape it with garbage for a few weeks, and then we toss it out in the trash once we’re done. It’s such a waste.”

          She wouldn’t have admitted it to Teri, but she felt a kind of empathy for the sorry fir that had been chopped off at the roots and made to stand by the door of the Blue Dawn Diner, where it had been ignored by most of the customers, except for the occasional child who tried to yank off one of the ornaments and got slapped on the wrist for it. It seemed so pathetic, so lonely, that sometimes she felt she might cry.

            Holidays were always hard to get through, a big game of pretend she played with her uncle and aunt:  Pretending to care, when she didn’t, pretending to be happy, when she wasn’t; pretending to a closeness that wasn’t there and never had been. All the make-believe did was leave her sadder and lonelier than before.

            That was still another thing that had to stop. If she ever intended to get on with her life, she would have to move out of her aunt and uncle’s house.

          “Come on,” Teri said. “I’m not going to let you stand there and feel sorry for a stupid tree. Let’s give it a proper burial.”

          She grabbed the fir by the stump, while Hannah took the other end and they maneuvered it clumsily toward the back door of the diner, leaving a shower of brown needles behind them.

          The door was locked.

          Teri shouted into the kitchen where Bobby, the chef and night manager, was profiting from the absence of customers to wolf down a hamburger. “I don’t suppose you could spare a moment to unlock this door.”

           Bobby deliberately took another bite of the hamburger.

          “Didn’t you hear me, you lazy fuck?”

           He wiped the grease off his chin with a paper napkin.

          “Don’t move too fast. You might have a stroke.”

           “Oh yeah? Well, stroke this, Teri,”  he said, pushing his pelvis at her lewdly.

            Teri recoiled in mock horror. “Let me get out my tweezers first.”

            The women tugged the tree out into an empty parking lot edged by drifts of dirty snow. The air was so cold it cut. Hannah could see her breath.

         “I don’t know how you two can talk to each other like that every day,” she said.

          “Hon, it’s my reason for living – just knowing when I get up every day that I can come in here and tell that turd what I think of him. Don’t need an aerobics class to get my blood pumping.  All it takes is the sight of that man’s thinning hair, that double chin and the caterpillar crawling across his upper lip that he calls a mustache.”

          Hannah laughed despite herself. Teri’s vocabulary sometimes shocked her, but she admired the older woman’s feistiness, probably because she had so little herself.  Nobody bossed Teri around.

          At the dumpster, they rested the fir on the ground for second, while they caught their breath.  “On three now,” Teri instructed. “Ready? One, two, threeeeeeee…” The tree soared up into the air, caught the edge the dumpster and tumbled inside. Teri slapped her hands together vigorously to warm them. “It’s colder than a witch’s tittie out here.”

         As they retraced their steps across the parking lot, Hannah glanced up at the neon sign that spelled out Blue Dawn Diner in letters of cobalt blue. Behind them, blinking rays, once yellow, now faded to a sickly gray, fanned out in a semi-circle in imitation of the rising sun. The sign seemed to be heralding dawn on a distant planet, and the blue neon made the snow look radio-active.

      Was that sign her sign, the rising sun and the blinking rays telling her a new day was coming, a world beyond this one, something other than long hours at the diner, surly customers in red-vinyl booths, lousy tips and Teri and Bobby squabbling like alley cats?

          She caught herself. No, it was just an aging neon sign, losing its paint,  that she had seen a thousand and one times.

          Teri stood shivering at the diner door.

       “Get yourself inside, hon. You’ll catch a death of cold.”

          Hannah slid into the corner of the back booth that was unofficially reserved for the staff and ceded to customers only on Sunday mornings, after church services, when the Blue Dawn Diner did its liveliest business. Teri usually had a crossword puzzle going and although she was not supposed to, sneaked a few puffs on a cigarette if nobody about, which accounted for the dirty ashtray. After a long shift, it was a cozy place to curl up. Hannah let her tired body relax and her mind empty out.

                       She took a look at the day’s puzzle, saw that it was half completed, and contemplated giving it a try. Teri never objected to a little help. Then her eyes went to the flowing script, underneath.

Are you a unique and caring person?

        Curious, she angled the newspaper so that it better caught the light.

This could be the most fulfilling thing you ever do! 

Give the gift that comes directly from the heart.

       It looked like an advertisement for Valentine’s Day, with hearts in each corner and in the center, a drawing of an angelic baby, gurgling with delight.  But Valentine’s Day was a month and a half away. Hannah read on.

With your help a happy family can be created.
Become a surrogate mom.
For more information, call  Partners in Parenthood, Inc.  617-923-0546

         “Look at this,” she said, as Teri placed two mugs of piping hot chocolate on the table and slid into the booth, opposite her.

          “What?”

          “In today’s Globe. This ad.”

           “Oh, yeah. They get paid a lot of money.”

          “Who does?”

          “Those women. Surrogate mothers. I saw a thing about it on TV. It’s a little strange if you ask me. If you’re going to all the bother of carting a kid around in your belly for nine months, you ought to be able to keep the little bastard afterwards.  I can’t imagine giving it away. It’s kind of like being a baker. Or being the oven, actually. You bake the bread and somebody else takes it home.”

           “How much do they get paid, do you think?”

          “I saw on Oprah some woman got $75,000. People are pretty desperate to have kids these days. Some of those rich people will pay a fortune.  Of course, if they knew what kids are really like, they wouldn’t be so quick to shell out. Wait until they find out they’ll never have a clean living room again.”

          A voice came from the kitchen. “Enough gabbing, girls.” The overhead lights went out.

         “Do you mind if I take your paper?”

         “All yours. I was never gonna get 26 down anyway.”

         At the door, Hannah gave her friend a quick kiss on the cheek and darted across the lot to a battered Chevy Nova. Once she was inside, Bobby flicked off the Blue Dawn Diner sign. Clouds masked the moon, and without the neon lights, the place looked even more forlorn to her.

        She gave a honk of the horn, as she guided the Nova out onto the roadway. Teri honked back and Bobby, who was locking up the front door, managed a vague wave.

          The newspaper lay on the seat next to Hannah all the way home. Although the roads were freshly sanded and free of traffic, she drove prudently. Up ahead, a stoplight turned red and she pumped the breaks gingerly to keep the Nova from skidding.

      While waiting for the signal to change, she cast an eye at the newspaper. The print wasn’t legible in the dark, but she remembered exactly what the advertisement said. As she pulled away from the intersection, she could almost hear a voice whispering, “This could be the most fulfilling thing you ever do.”

1:3

           Standing guard at the gate, the attendant shifted lazily from one foot to the other. The cathedral wouldn’t reopen until late afternoon, and his thoughts had already gravitated to the cold beer he’d get himself in a few minutes.

           Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw a flash of movement in the shadows on the northern side of the transept. But he was in no hurry to investigate. Over the years he’d learned that the light flickering through the stained-glass windows played tricks with his weary eyes. And he was long since accustomed to the murmurs and groans that emanated from stone and wood, when the church was empty. His wife said it was the saints talking and that the house of God was never empty, but personally the attendant figured the sounds were merely those of an old edifice getting older.

         Didn’t his own bones crack now and again?

         Except that the noise he was now hearing was different. It was that of whispered words, the rush and tumble of supplication. Then he saw another flash of movement and moved away from the gate to get a better view. Indeed, a woman on her knees was praying in front of the Altar de la Inmaculada, one of the Baroque splendors of the cathedral that depicted a large-than-life Mary, surrounded by a golden sunburst that attested to her sanctity.

        The woman’s eyes were locked on the delicately carved face, which gazed down with infinite understanding on the worshippers who sought her mercy. Enraptured, the woman was obviously oblivious to the fact that the cathedral had closed.

        It was not the first time this had happened, thought the attendant, nor would it be the last. The cathedral’s multiple chapels made it easy to overlook some poor soul at closing time. He usually had to make the rounds twice, and would have done so today, had it not been his duty to accompany the priest to the Camara Santa.

         He approached the woman slowly, not wanting to startle her and hoping the sound of his feet on the stones would get her attention. As he got closer, he realized that she wasn’t Spanish. The colorful straw bag at her side and her stylish leather jacket suggested she was a tourist, although tourists usually just took a few pictures and left. And this woman seemed to be praying with the intensity of some of the elderly peasant women in the parish.

         “Señora,” he whispered.

        The woman’s prayer gained in fervor. “…We are but your servants. Thy will shall be done…” The attendant recognized the language as English. He glanced back at the entrance of the Camara Santa. He didn’t want the old priest to come down the steps and find the gate unguarded, but the woman was going to have to be escorted out of the church.

        He touched her lightly on the shoulder. “Señora, la catedral está cerrada.”

       She turned and looked at him uncomprehendingly. He wasn’t even sure she saw him. The pupils of her eyes appeared dilated, as if she were in trance.

        She shook her head slowly. “I’m sorry. What?”

       “La catedral está…”  He searched his mind for the right word.  “Closed, señora. The church is closed.”

         The woman’s face suddenly flushed crimson with embarrassment. “Closed? Oh, I didn’t realize. I must have…lost track of the time….Perdón….Perdón, por favor.”

         The attendant helped her to her feet, gathered up her straw bag and escorted her to the cathedral entrance. As they walked down the nave, she kept turning back, as if to get another look at the virgin.

        “This really is one of the holiest places on earth,” she said, while the attendant unlocked the door. Her eyes had regained their luster and he felt her grip tighten on his arm. “It’s what I’ve been feeling, so it must be true. I mean, they do say that this is holy ground, don’t they?”

         Not knowing what she was saying, the attendant nodded vigorously in agreement, before locking the heavy door behind her.

        He glanced at his pocket watch. Was it his imagination or was Don Miguel praying longer than usual?  As quickly as possible, he made his way  to the Camara Santa, ready to explain the distraction that had taken him away from his post. Before he was halfway there, he spotted the priest, lying on his back. His legs were twisted to the side and his hands resembled rope knots on the stone floor. He seemed to have fallen asleep in mid-prayer.

         Panic seized the attendant. The relic? What had happened to the relic?

        He let out a sigh of relief.

        Nothing! There it lay on top of the silver chest, undisturbed. He picked it up carefully and locked it away in the cupboard at the back of the crypt. Only then, when he turned his attentions to Don Miguel, did he realize that the priest was dead.

         The attendant made the sign of the cross over the body that age had so shrunken. If his heart had to give out, how fitting, he thought, that it should give out here. The old priest had deeply loved this place.  His devotion had been without limits. And now he looked so peaceful.

           Surely he had gone to his just reward in Heaven.

           How fortunate he was!

1:4

         “Well, you’ve certainly turned into an early bird,” Ruth Ritter muttered, as she shuffled into the kitchen. “This is the third morning this week you’ve been up before me. What’s come over you?”

        Hannah looked up from the oil-cloth-covered table, where she was contemplating a soft-boiled egg on toast.  “Nothing. I haven’t been sleeping well, that’s all.”

        “Not sick, are you?”

          Ruth threw her niece a side-long glance. She prided herself on her ability to read people. She may not have gone to college and there weren’t any fancy books in the house, but she liked to think she had more than her share of “smarts.” She noticed things and could smell a fib a mile away.  “Because that’s the last thing we need around here – you coming down with something!” she said. “One sick person’s enough Your uncle’s ulcer is acting up again.”

          Hannah’s mother used to say that when they were growing up, Ruth was the pretty Nadler sister, the vivacious one with all the boyfriends. It was hard to believe now. Hannah couldn’t picture her aunt as anything other than the stout, perpetually disgruntled housewife in a chenille robe, who right now was heading for the coffee maker and the jolt of caffeine that would get another disappointing day going.

         “You made the coffee already?” Ruth asked, surprised.

         “I was up.”

          “You sure nothing’s wrong with you?”

          Why was it always a crack like that, Hannah wondered. Never, “thank you,” or “what a nice thing to do.” In Ruth’s world. Every deed came with an ulterior motive. People were either trying to get on her good side or they were trying to pull the wool over her eyes. Nobody just did things. They did things for a reason.

            Ruth lifted the coffee cup to her lips and took a slurp. “What time did you get home from the diner last night?”

          “Same as usual. About quarter past midnight.”

           “And you’re up at the crack of dawn?”  There was that sidelong look again. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

             “Nothing, Aunt Ruth! Honest!”

          All she’d done was call Partners in Parenthood a week ago. The lady who’d answered the phone said she’d mail out some explanatory literature right away, and without thinking, Hannah had given the Ritters’ address. Later, she realized she should have had it sent to the diner, instead.

             “As long as you live under our roof and enjoy our hospitality,” Ruth never failed to remind her, “There will be no secrets in this house.”

             If the envelope from Partners in Parenthood had hearts and a baby on it, as the ad did, she’d have a lot of explaining to do. So every morning this week, Hannah had risen early to intercept the mail.  So far, though, no letter.

          Girls her age were supposed to think about boyfriends and getting married some day and starting families of their own. So why had the notion of carrying a baby for a childless couple appealed so much to her imagination? All Hannah could think was that her mother had something to do with it. Her mother had been a giver, who believed people had a duty to help others less fortunate. Whenever you got bogged down in your own problems, her mother had said, it meant it was time to think of somebody else. The lesson was engraved on Hannah’s memory, although, sadly, she heard the sound of her mother’s gentle voice less clearly than she used to.

         Ruth slid a plate of hot cinnamon buns out of the oven and scrutinized them carefully before selecting the one that risked disappointing her least. “I thought you were supposed to be working the breakfast shift all this week,” she said.

         “I was, but business has fallen way off. After the holidays, everyone’s staying home, I guess.”

         “Don’t let that Teri screw you out of all the good shifts.”

          Ruth washed down the bun with the last of her coffee, then reached into the refrigerator for a carton of eggs.  “I hope that uncle of yours isn’t going to sleep all morning. Tell him breakfast is on the table.”

         Grateful for the opportunity to escape from the kitchen, Hannah called up the stairs, “Uncle Herb? Aunt Ruth says breakfast’s ready.”

         A grumble came back.

         “He’s coming,” she said, relaying the message to her aunt, then glanced out the living room window. Just as she expected, the mailman was making his way down the street. Bracing herself against the cold, she slipped out the front door and headed him off at the foot of the walkway.

          “Gonna save me a few steps, are you?” the mailman said cheerfully. He reached into his pouch and handed her a packet loosely bound with string.

           A quick check told Hannah it was the predictable assortment of bills, magazines and junk mail. Just as she reached the front stoop, she saw the envelope with Partners in Parenthood printed on the upper-left hand corner. She was about to put it in her pocket, when an angry voice rang out.

        “What are you doing now? Heating the whole neighborhood? Do you have any idea how much heating oil costs?” Herb Ritter, in his bathrobe and pajamas, stood in the open doorway, his thinning gray hair still sleep-tangled.

            “I’m sorry. I only stepped outside for a second.”

          “I’ll take that.” Herb whipped the packet out of Hannah’s hands and shuffled headed into kitchen, where he took his habitual place at the head of the breakfast table.

          Hannah placed a coffee cup before him and waited, while he examined the mail, which was doing nothing to improve his spirits. Her letter was on the bottom. Enough of it stuck out so that she could read the word “Partners” in the return address.  She reached over his shoulder and slid it from the pile.

          “Hey, what are doing?”

          “I believe that one’s for me. My name’s on it.”

          “Who’s writing to you?” Ruth asked.

           “Nobody.”

           “The letter wrote itself?”

            “It’s private, Aunt Ruth. Do you mind?”

             Ruth’s indignant words echoed up the stairwell.  “How many times do I have to tell you, young lady? There will be no secrets in this house.”

           Hannah closed the door to her bedroom, waited until she had caught her breath, then carefully sliced open the envelope with her finger.

1:5

         The priest had been dead for two days, when the attendant received orders from the archbishop’s office.

        His Eminence and “several guests” intended to visit the Camera Santa that evening.  Once the church was closed, he was instructed to station himself at the entrance to the shrine, unlock the gates at the appropriate moment and stand guard for the duration of their stay.

         All the attendant could think was that it had something to do with the old priest’s demise, except that the Oviedo police had already inspected the premises and found nothing amiss. Photographs had been taken of the priest’s body, before it had been removed.  All the relics in the Camara Santa had been meticulously examined and accounted for, ruling out the possibility of theft.

          The attendant had told his story several times to the authorities. Not that there was much to tell. The priest had shown no signs of illness that day and had handled the steps with no apparent difficulty. He seemed to recall that they had exchanged pleasantries, but none of significance. Then, after waiting about 20 minutes – yes, he was pretty sure it was twenty minutes – the attendant had gone in search of the priest. And found him dead. And that was more or less it.

       The rustle of robes and the whisper of voices told him that the archbishop and his party were approaching. Of the three guests, the attendant recognized only the tallest – he was from Madrid, and an archbishop, as well, if  memory was not mistaken. But the other two gave off a similar air of importance. The hard set of their faces suggested the seriousness of their purpose.

           Special visits to the Camara Santa were usually scheduled weeks in advance and he was told beforehand who the guests would be, so extra security could be arranged, if necessary. This visit was clearly being made in secret.

         He inserted the large key and swung open the heavy gate, then scurried ahead of the four men, down the stairs, fumbling for the second set of keys which would open the grille to the Camara Santa itself. He felt the dampness of perspiration in the small of his back.

        “Déjanos,” mumbled the archbishop, as he entered the holy sanctuary. “Leave us now.” The only sign of urgency was the way one of the “guests” clasped and unclasped his hands, as if they were sticky with pitch. Did they all know, the attendant wondered, that they were standing on the very spot where the priest’s body had fallen?

         The sounds of their discussion followed after him, but by the time he reached the main entrance, the words were indecipherable. But there was one word he thought he heard repeated several times: “falta….falta.…” Missing? What could be missing? Everything in the Camara Santa had been checked out and accounted for.

         The minutes ticked by so slowly that at one point he shook his pocket watch vigorously, thinking it had stopped.

         The attendant had seen no reason to report that he had left his post for several minutes to escort a lone woman out of the church. Now he wondered if  the lapse had been discovered. The longer he waited, the more uncertainty gnawed at his stomach.

           An hour and a half  had elapsed, when he heard his name being called and he hastened to lock the grille of the Camara Santa. The archbishop and his guests silently negotiated the steps,  their  features  sterner than before. At the entrance, the attendant pulled the massive gate shut and turned the key in the lock, only to discover when he was through, that  the archbishop was  standing behind him.

         “The keys,” he ordered, extending his right hand.

         The attendant’s heart went leaden. He was being stripped of his position. How would he support his family now? It was a selfish thought, he knew, given the circumstances, but there it was. He handed over both sets of keys.

         “No, just those to the Camara Santa,” said the archbishop. “I am afraid it will be closed until further notice. We will inform the press that certain structural repairs are necessary at this time. You are authorized to tell tourists as much.”

            Tucking the keys under his robe, the archbishop uttered a curt “Buenos noches,” and followed after his guests.

        The attendant felt his knees go weak with relief.  His livelihood was secure, after all.  Of course, it  had been his duty to stand guard over the old priest, but it was also his responsibility  to protect the cathedral and its treasures from visitors, who lingered beyond the appointed hours. Anyway, he’d only slipped away for a moment.

         As long as he kept quiet, he realized, no one would need know anything about the woman. Like the old priest, he would take those final minutes with him to his grave.

1:6

        “Out of my greatest pain has come my greatest joy. Life has a way of constantly surprising us, doesn’t it?”  Letitia Greene reached for a tissue and delicately blotted the corners of her eyes, which glistened with tears. “The day I took Ricky home from the hospital was the happiest day of my life. A life that had almost come apart at the seams. Hal and I – that’s my husband – were on the brink of divorce. I didn’t think we’d survive. I didn’t think I’d survive.”

         Hannah waited, while the woman behind the antique  rosewood desk took a moment to compose herself. She looked to be in her late-40s and, although she was expensively dressed, had a confidential manner that put Hannah at ease.

         “Can you imagine? After 15 years of believing I would never be a mother, this…this angel came into our lives. Her name is Isabel and she made us whole again. Yes, a perfect stranger! She wanted to help, but I don’t think that even she was prepared for the rewards that would come from her actions.  She brought us together and made us into a family. I remember the day I took Ricky home from the hospital. That’s him there by the way.”

        A gold-framed photograph of a freckled-face, red-headed boy of seven sat prominently on her desk. She repositioned it so Hannah could see.

        “I thought I would explode from joy. It was almost too much to bear. And it only seemed to increase every day. I used to say to Hal, `What am I going to do with so much joy?’ I’m sure he had no idea at the time what a profound effect his answer would have on me. But he turned to me—”

         Letitia Greene leaned forward, as if she didn’t want anyone else to hear. The silver charm, hanging around her neck, swung forward, too, catching the light. It was expensive-looking. “Do you know what he said?” She let the silence gather dramatically.

        “No,” Hannah replied.  “What?”

        “He said, `Spread it around. Spread the joy around, Letitia!’ Well, it was like being struck by a thunderbolt.” The words seemed to leap from the woman’s mouth. “What was I going to do with all that joy? I was going to spread it around, of course. So four years later, here I am,  helping other childless couples come together with some very special people to create even more happiness.”

        She gestured proudly to the photographs on the wall behind her desk, which hung on either side of  gilt-edged mirror. In them, a variety of smiling couples and adorable babies shared their contentment with the camera. Next to some of the photographs were framed letters, brimming with gratitude and attesting to the efficacy of Letitia Greene’s mission.

          Hannah took them in respectfully. To think that she almost hadn’t come here. The back streets of the city had been impossible to negotiate and by the time she’d located Revere St., a mere two blocks long, and parked the Nova, she was ten minutes late for her appointment. The offices of “Partners in Parenthood” were on the second floor of a 19th century brick edifice, and the stairway leading to it from the street was so dirty and dimly lit that Hannah had actually considered turning around and heading home.

       As soon as she had opened the door, however, her impression changed instantly. The office was bright and attractive, closer to a living room than an office. The floor was carpeted in beige. Two sofas, covered in a cheerful floral fabric, faced one another, with a low-slung coffee table between them. Objets d’art were positioned on the shelves of a bookcase, while an arrangement of silk flowers stood on a pedestal of its own. Mrs. Greene’s rosewood desk and the gilt chair in front of it in which Hannah was presently sitting, seemed to be the only utilitarian pieces and they hardly qualified as office furniture

       “I named our group `Partners in Parenthood,’ because that’s how I see it.” Letitia Greene was saying. “People reaching out to one another, sharing their respective hopes and abilities, coming together to create a life.  The thing to realize, Miss Manning, is that our surrogate mothers give life in many ways. The obvious one, of course, is the child. But you’re also renewing the lives of the man and woman, who often feel broken and incomplete. You’re giving them a future, too. You become their savior.”

         Hannah could feel her emotions welling up, the more she listened to Letitia Greene. The woman’s passion and her sense of purpose made her seem so alive. She thought of her aunt and uncle, shut off to one another, and the pointless bickering that filled their days. And she thought of the dreary customers in the diner, going from meal to work to meal, back and forth, endlessly. Even Teri, good-natured as she was, was so mired in a  dead-end job that her only relief seemed to be trading insults with Bobby.  They all led such small, limited lives.

         Then Hannah considered her own – the smallest, most limited life of all.  She was nothing like this vital woman, who seemed so full of energy and drive.

          “I’m so sorry to have gone on like that, but as you can tell, I love what I do.” Letitia Greene gave an apologetic laugh. She put on her eyeglasses, and took a moment to review Hannah’s application form. “I guess we should get back to work here. You don’t have all afternoon to listen to me. As I indicated, every situation is different and every surrogate mother is special. We try to come up with the arrangement that  suits you best – the most appropriate client family for you, how much contact you want to have with them. Do you want them present at the birth? Would you like them to send you photographs of the child, as it grows up. That sort of thing. The details are all worked out to everyone’s satisfaction beforehand. The fees –  well, I am sure you will find them generous.”

        Letitia Greene turned the application form over and ran her eyes down the back. “You seem to have answered all our questions satisfactorily,” she said, approvingly. “And we want to give you every opportunity to ask the questions you may have, now or later. You are aware, of course, that there would be certain medical tests. Nothing to worry about. Just to make sure that you are as healthy as you look.”

       “Yes, of course. Whatever is necessary.”

       “While you’re here in the office, I’d like to ask you just a few personal questions, if I may. It may seem like an invasion of privacy, but we are talking about a very personal and intimate commitment. It’s important that we all get to know one another as well as possible. I hope you understand.”

         “Please. Ask me whatever you like.”

          Letitia Greene settled back in her chair and the silver charm came to rest just above her sternum. “On the application, it says you are single.”

          “Yes.”

          “How does your boyfriend feel about this?”

          “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

           “What was you most recent relationship?”

           Hannah felt her face flush. “I’ve never…I go out now and then with friends…what I mean…there’s never been anyone serious enough to call a relationship, I guess.”

          “I see. Are you a lesbian?”

        “What? On, no. I like boys. I just haven’t found anyone who, well…” She found herself tongue-tied. There was Eddie Ryan, who lived down the block and occasionally took her to the movies, and all through high school, she’d had crushes, although she’d never acted on any of them. Teri said the girl had to initiate the action sometimes, but Hannah could never bring herself make the first move.

          “Do you live with your parents still?”

          “No, I live with my aunt and uncle.”

         “Oh?” Letitia Greene looked over the top of her glasses.

          “My parents are both dead. They died when I was twelve. A car accident.”

           “I’m so sorry. That must have been very hard for you. It still must be very hard.”

         “Yes” was all that Hannah managed to mumble.

          “Do you want to tell me about it?” It had been so long since anyone had asked her that question that Hannah was unexpectedly moved. Most people avoided the subject or simply assumed she had put the past behind her and gone on with her life. But Letitia Greene really seemed interested.

          “It was Christmas Eve,” Hannah began tentatively. “We were coming back from my Aunt Ruth’s house. That’s where I live now. We used to spend every Christmas Eve together because they were…are…my only family. We lived in Duxbury then. I fell asleep in the back seat and the next thing I remember was being thrown onto the floor and my mother screaming. She was asking me if I was all right and telling me to remain still, that help was on the way. From her voice I could tell she was in a lot of pain. When I tried to move so I could see her, she shouted, `No, stay where you are. Don’t look here.”

        Hannah felt her throat constricting and paused to take a deep breath..

       “Take your time, dear,” counseled Letitia Greene softly.

       “It’s just that it was so terrible, lying there, waiting for the ambulance to come and not daring to move. I realized later that she didn’t want me to see my father. He was killed instantly. We were hit by a GMC truck that had drifted over the dividing line onto our side of the road. It was snowing and the driver had fallen asleep and…”

        She was surprised how sharp the details still were in her mind. It was as if the accident had occurred seven days ago, not seven years. Ruth and Herb had never once talked about it with her, so she’d kept the awful memories to herself all this time. Now she had the strange impression she was telling the story for the very first time and to someone she barely knew. But that person cared.

        “The truck slammed into the driver’s side of our car, which is why my father died so quickly. Crushed. They said he never felt a thing. Miraculously, nothing happened to me. But on the way to the hospital, my mother lapsed into a coma. She died from internal injuries a week later. `I’m sorry, baby’ was the last thing I ever heard her say. `I’m so sorry.’”

         “Your parents must have loved you very much.”

         “Yes, I think they did.” Again the choking feeling in her throat.

          Hannah hadn’t thought about love for such a long time. Love was something that belonged to that faraway time of her life before the accident happened and everything changed. She remembered  shuffling through the autumn leaves on the sidewalk, holding her mother’s hand tightly, never wanting to let go, because they were so happy in the  sunlight.

        “You, two!” her father would say, pretending to be jealous. “There’s just no separating you.”

        Hannah became aware of the silence in the office and realized that she had allowed herself to get carried away on the flood of memories. Letitia Greene watched patiently, her head tilted slightly to one side, an understanding look on her face. This woman was not like all the others who squirmed at the slightest display of emotions. She welcomed it, her manner so accepting that Hannah felt no embarrassment whatsoever.

          Letitia Greene reached across the desk and extended her hand, which Hannah took. The simple contact produced another wave of unexpected emotion. For a while, the two women held hands and looked at one another in silence.

         They were not alone.

         On the other side of the gilt-edged mirror in a small room directly behind Letitia Greene’s rosewood desk, two other people were watching, as well. Watching and listening, as Hannah spilled out her life story. Although the tinted glass allowed them to see and not be seen, they hadn’t permitted themselves the slightest movement, nor had their eyes strayed from Hannah’s face for a second. All that had changed was their breathing. Measured at first, it was shorter now, short and shallow with mounting excitement.

           “I hope that wasn’t more detail than you wanted,” Hannah  said.

            Letitia shook her head gently.  “You can’t put any of that in an application. Thank you for sharing it with me.”  She released Hannah’s hand. “This is exactly what I mean when I say that `Partners in Parenthood’ is about people getting to know one another. People who are going to take a very intimate journey together. Tell me, Hannah, why do you want to take this journey?”

          Hannah had thought about her answer for days.  She couldn’t say she felt the newspaper ad was speaking directly to her. Understanding as she was, Mrs. Greene might find that a bit bizarre. She wanted to tell the woman that she had been looking for a sign for months, and just when everything had seemed the bleakest, the brochure had arrived in the mail. But there was so much more to it than that, really.

       ”I’ve been working in a diner and, well,  I have the feeling that I’m wasting my life.  I can’t do a lot, but when I saw the ad and read the brochure,  it seemed to me that maybe I could do this. Maybe I could give the sort of gift you’ve been talking about and make someone else happy. I guess…I just want to be of use.”

         Letitia got up, came around the desk and gave Hannah a hug. “I hope you can be, too. Of course, nothing is certain until it is certain. All the information you’ve given me will have to be reviewed, and we may ask you to come back for an interview with a psychologist, just so you can be sure this is the right choice for you. And, of course, the medical tests I mentioned.”

        She escorted Hannah across the room, her hand resting on the girl’s shoulder,  and for an instant, Hannah flashed back to the walks she’d taken with her mother.

        “Oh, just one thing,” Hannah said, as Letitia Greene opened the door for her. “The number on the application is the diner where I work. If you have to reach me, it would probably be better if you called me there.”

         “I understand. Now you go home and think about some of the issues we’ve discussed today. This is nothing to be undertaken casually. I want it  to be the absolutely right decision for you. For all of us.”

        After Hannah left the office, Letitia Greene waited until the footsteps in the stairway had grown faint, then locked the door from the inside and threw the dead bolt. She took a moment to collect herself and shake the tension out of her hands.

         At the far end of the office, a door cracked open and a middle-aged couple appeared. The bright colors of the woman’s Guatamalan peasant dress and her heavy make-up suggested that she was the more outgoing of the two. With his salt-and-pepper hair and his rumpled corduroy jacket, the man could have been a professor at one the many colleges in the Boston area. No one spoke for a long time. .

        Finally, a smile broke across the man’s face and he said what was on all of their minds.

           “I think we have found our girl.”

            “I’m sure everybody will be pleased when they hear,” Letitia added.

           “At long last,” said the woman in the peasant skirt. “It can begin now.”

… Continued…

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surrogate 2
The Surrogate
(The Sudarium Trilogy – Book One)
by Leonard Foglia & David Richards
4.6 stars – 17 reviews
Special Kindle Price: 99 cents!

Bargain Book Alert! The Legend of the Blue Eyes Book I of the Blue Eyes Trilogy by B. Kristin McMichael – Regularly $2.99, on Sale For $0.99 From September 4 to September 9

4.5 stars – 33 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

Welcome to the night. You thought things that went bump in the night only exist in books and movies? So did Arianna Grace, until she became one of them. But she is not the only type of night human that lives off of drinking blood. As the rarest and only one of her kind, Arianna must find her place in the world in the young adult novel “The Legend of the Blue Eyes”.

Arianna Grace liked her boring, Midwestern, teenage life where she ignored the many unanswered questions of her childhood. Why were her parents dead? Why did she not have family? Where was she raised until she was five? When someone offers to explain it all, Arianna thinks she’s just getting answers. Instead, she is thrown into a world of night humans who drink blood.

On Arianna’s sixteenth birthday, her world is thrown upside down when she changes into a vampire. Night humans, or demons, as some call them, live in normal society. Learning all of the new rules of a world she didn’t know existed might be hard enough, but it’s further complicated by two former-friends that now want to help her take her role as the successor to her grandfather.

There is a war going on between the night humans. Sides have been taken and lines are not crossed. Four main clans of night humans are struggling for control of the night. Divided into two sides, clans Baku and Tengu have been at war for centuries with the clans Dearg-dul and Lycan. That is, until Arianna Grace finds out the truth; she’s the bridge of peace between the two sides. But not everyone wants peace. With the night humans divided, Arianna is now a pawn in the war between them. She must choose a side—her mother’s family or her father’s—and for once in her life, decide her own fate.

The story continues in books 2 and 3…..

Reviews

Put away all your preconceived notions about Vampires. This novel will blow you away, and just may invite you back into your previous love of the supernatural.”  –Bethany F., The Reading Vixens

“Wowwowowowowow, I mean wow. This book blew me away. From the minute I skimmed the first couple of pages, I was hooked and racing through it.”  –thejerseybookaholic

“Okay! WOW! This novel is amazing!! I’m surprised at just how much I enjoyed reading this novel! The Legend of the Blue Eyes is the first novel in the trilogy and let me tell you, it’s worth a read! B. Kristin McMichael has a new and original take on Vampires and the Vampire World.” –Ana @SoManyBooksSoLittleTime

Don’t Miss Becoming a Legend Book Two in the series

Don’t Miss Winning The Legend Book Three in the series

Author-PhotoAbout The Author

Originally from Wisconsin, B. Kristin currently resides in Ohio with her husband, two small children, and three cats. When not doing the mom thing of chasing kids, baking cookies, and playing outside, she is using her PhD in biology as a scientist. In her free time she is currently hard at work on multiple novels as every day passes with more ideas for current and future novels filtering through her mind. She is a fan of all YA fantasy and science fiction and continues to read and review on her own blog.

Website:   http://www.bkristinmcmichael.com/

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25 Straight Rave Reviews For SAY HELLO TO HAPPINESS by Adamedes and Prior – Just $1.99 on Kindle & Here’s A Free Sample to Get You Started

Say Hello To Happiness

by Michael Adamedes, Robert Prior

4.8 stars – 25 Reviews
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Here’s the set-up:
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Kiss Me in Paris

by Karpov Kinrade, Kimberly Kinrade, Dmytry Karpov

4.6 stars – 71 Reviews
Text-to-Speech and Lending: Enabled
Here’s the set-up:

No one knows my secret. Ever since high school, ever since I started living in fear, no one has known the true me. But then I met him, and I couldn’t hide anymore.

He became my hero, saving me from the villain of my past. He became my friend, his smile a blanket of warmth. And he scared me. Because he, this beautiful man, he might become more. Then he’d see the real me, and I couldn’t let that happen.

My name is Winter, and what I desire most I can’t have.

Flashes of the night I was drugged rush back to me. His strong arms carrying me through the streets of Paris. The feel of his heart beating as my head rested against his chest. The soft press of his lips against my forehead when he thought I was asleep.

Oh shit. I’m falling for the cowboy. Cade.

But we can’t be anything more. He has his own secrets. His own darkness he keeps hidden, like the letter he keeps with him everywhere he goes.

The letter he refuses to open.

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  And here, for your reading pleasure, is our free excerpt:

LESLIE STICKS HER head out of the pickup truck, and her long hair catches the wind, flying out behind her like a blond wave. “Yeehaw!”

She hollers like a cowboy in an old western, and I wonder yet again what I’m doing on this date.

Ducking her head back into the truck, Leslie stretches across the seat, placing her head in my lap. “Cade, I’m bored. Let’s do something fun. How about the lake? Some skinny dippin’?” She traces her finger up my thigh, her touch light through the denim of my jeans. “Maybe distract you from whatever has you lookin’ so serious?”

Ah yes, that’s why I’m on this date. It’s supposed to be a distraction, but nothing seems to pull me from my own melancholy thoughts, not even a beautiful, if somewhat vacuous, girl.

“Sure, we can do that. I just have to go home and feed my brother first.” I turn right on the dirt road, dust catching on the tires. We’re already on my family’s property, horses and cows grazing in wide fields, the Texas sun baking the land with all the heat of the mid-afternoon summer day, but we still have a ways to go to reach the ranch house.

“I didn’t know you have a baby brother. But can’t someone else do that? Like your mom or something?”

“I promised to do it today. It shouldn’t take long.” I pull up to my house, a sprawling ranch-style home with strong horizontal lines, low walls and wide front and rear porches. The roof is galvanized metal, and limestone in the walls gives it a rugged look.

“Nice house, though I expected something bigger given the Savage name and reputation,” Leslie says. “Like, one of those Beverly Hills mansions you see on television.”

“My dad doesn’t like to flaunt our wealth. He thinks we should live modestly, not extravagantly.” Still, there’s an elegant simplicity to the architecture of our home that I admire. It’s not flashy, but it’s high quality and well-designed using local natural resources.

The heat, a living thing you can almost see, beats down on us as we walk to the front door. Trickles of sweat leak down Leslie’s long neck, strands of her hair sticking to her body.

Cold air assaults us as we enter the house, attacking the heat and chilling our skin. Leslie shivers in her tank top and cut off jean shorts. I take off my Stetson, a rule my mother enforces religiously, and place it on the hat rack by the door. With a callused hand I push my hair out of my face and lead the way to the family room where the television fills the house with sounds of cartoons. Next to the couch, slumped in his wheel chair, sits a 16-year-old boy with the mind of a 2-year-old.

I pat his hand and smile. “Hey, Stevie, how’s it going today?”

My brother’s eyes follow me, half his mouth curving into the semblance of a smile as he croaks out a noise that I recognize as his greeting for me. His eyes shift to Leslie, and she shuffles from one foot to the other while twirling a piece of her hair and avoiding eye contact.

“Stevie, this is Leslie, my friend. Leslie, this is my brother, Stevie.”

She looks up, smiles a fraction, and looks back down again. “Nice to meet ya.”

Stevie grunts again and Leslie jerks, as if startled. I shouldn’t have brought her here, shouldn’t even be with her right now.

A big black woman walks into the living room from the kitchen and stops, fists on her ample hips as she eyes me. “Cade Savage, you know you shouldn’t be bringing nobody here. Your daddy don’t like nobody seeing him.”

“Martha, we’re not hurting him,” I say. “I’m on a date, but I promised Stevie I’d have lunch with him today. What’s it going to hurt?”

She sighs, but I know she’ll give in. She always does. “Fine. Whatever. Just don’t be crying to me when your daddy gets in his temper, ya hear?”

“I hear.” I lean in to kiss her on the cheek. “You’re a peach, Martha.”

She swats me away. “You charmer, you know that don’t work on me.” But she smiles as she leaves the room.

“How’s he doing today?” I follow her into the kitchen to prepare Stevie’s lunch.

Leslie scrambles after me, clinging to my hand as if something might attack her at any moment.

I extricate myself from her grip and assemble my brother’s lunch and supplements.

“He be doing okay, same as always,” Martha says. “He misses you, though. Don’t know how he’s going to react when you’re not around anymore.” Her tone is kind, but her words still sting.

I grab Stevie’s meal and join him in the living room, moving his chair to face me as I feed him. It’s a messy process. More food smears his face and falls on to the napkin around his neck than actually gets into his mouth, but I persist until he’s eaten most of it.

With a wet cloth, I wipe his face clean, taking care to get it all without pressing too hard. “How’s that? You feel good?”

He nods his head a fraction, eyes speaking more than his body can. I might be imagining it, but for an instant, I think I see a spark of something in his eyes, the boy he was before.

I ruffle his brown hair, the same color as mine, and take his dish into the kitchen to wash.

Martha snatches it from my hand. “I’ll finish up.”

“You’re not the maid, you know. I can wash it myself.”

She scoffs at me. “Hush now, boy. I may be Stevie’s nurse, but you don’t think that involves washing a dish now and again? Now you get on with your date. That girl in there don’t look like she can handle much more of this.”

“It’s my fault. I didn’t tell her about Stevie before we came.”

She pats my cheek and I head out, calling goodbye to my brother as we leave, my heart heavy each time I think about all the ways my family has changed, all the things we’ve lost in the last few years.

“I’m sorry about your brother,” Leslie says, startling me from my thoughts. “What happened to him?”

“An accident. But I don’t want to talk about him. Let’s go have some fun.” I don’t feel the words I’m saying, but I’m hoping the whole ‘fake it ’til you make it’ philosophy applies to moments like these.

Leslie turns up the radio, flipping through modern rock, Christian and classical until she lands on a country music station, and starts singing along.

The sun sets, casting long shadows over the hot land, lighting up the sky with oranges and pinks and yellows.

Setting suns always seem sad, beautiful but tragic in their way. It’s another goodbye, a farewell to a day that can never be relived, never be recaptured. It’s gone forever, lost in imperfect memories of what might have been.

 

Stars burn bright in the sky, the full moon reflected in the lake as Leslie splashes through moonbeams while chattering about her summer plans. Her words dissolve around me as I gaze at the sky, body resting against a small patch of grass near the lake.

I don’t notice when she stops talking, but it’s impossible not to notice when she walks out of the lake, nude body dripping with water, long wet hair falling down her back. My body reacts as any man would, but my mind is still distracted by the future—and the past.

She dries herself off, throws the towel on the ground next to me and lays down, her long leg draping over mine as she presses her breasts against me. “You’re overdressed for this event.” She pulls up my cotton t-shirt and slides her cool hand under it, then leans in to kiss me. Her mouth tastes like lake water and bubblegum. I respond as expected, kissing her back, but she pulls away. “What’s up? You don’t seem into this at all.”

“Nothing. I’m fine.” I reach for her, initiating another kiss, which is preferable to talking, but she slips out of my hands.

“I can tell there’s something. Is it your brother?”

Ignoring her question, I pose one of my own. “Do you ever wish you could just do what you want?”

“Don’t you do what you want?” she asks. “I mean, you’re Cade Savage. Millionaire.”

“My dad’s the millionaire. I don’t get my inheritance for another five years.”

She rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. You can have anything.” With a slender finger, she twirls a piece of my hair. “And anyone.”

My lips curl up in a smirk. It figures that everyone thinks my life is perfect, why wouldn’t they? They only see the whitewashed facade that is my life, not the stench of death that lives in my home, corrupting everything and everyone. “Hypothetically, if you had what I have, the money, the car, the great family with the family business…. Everything. Would you give it all up for something you really wanted to do?”

She frowns, her full lips turning down into a pout. “Would I lose all the money?”

“In this hypothetical situation, yes.”

“Depends. What do I want to do?”

My mind spins, landing on the center of my childhood fantasies. “Something you’ve dreamed about doing your whole life.”

“Like being a Disney Princess?”

I shrug. “Sure.”

“But that’s impossible.”

My eyes wander back to her, leaving the stars in the sky to their own dreams. “But if it wasn’t? If you could really be a Disney Princess?”

“If it wasn’t, then… ” She thinks about it and smiles. “I’d be a Princess.”

“You wouldn’t miss all that money? How about your family?”

“Oh, I’d miss them all right, but I’d be happy. Truly happy.” She flops onto her back, staring up at the sky, perhaps dreaming of being a princess. “How many people can say that?”

I nod, smiling. “Not many.”

“Not many.” She takes a sip of the wine cooler by her side. “Besides, as a Princess I’d better have some fucking money.”

I chuckle and lay back down, staring back up at the stars.

One star breaks off from the others, shooting across the sky, a bright light trailing behind it, and I finally understand why people wish on dying stars.

Because something always has to die for life to give birth to a new dream.

 

 

Like sweet tea, watermelon and hayrides, Sunday morning church is a staple in Texas. Sitting in our family pew, eyes glazed over as I stare at the Bible and hymnal stuck into the back of the pew in front of me, Pastor Mackay finishes his sermon on the importance of family.

“Gawd,” he says God like there’s an ‘aw’ in there, “wants to share His love with us through our families, through you. If we really want to experience the love of Gawd, and if we want those we love to experience it, we will love each other the way Gawd, through Christ, loves us. Selflessly, sacrificially, and devoutly. Families give us strength to stand up against Satan and his temptations. We must embrace family, stay strong together, and fight against the darkness that so often prevails in our world. Let us pray.”

The closing prayer seems to drone on for hours, as the pastor stretches his final moments to reach us with his words. When he finally closes with an “Amen,” we stand and sing a hymn and then file out of our pews to greet each other, talk about the week, the weather, the kids, the next social event—business as usual.

Pastor Mackay clasps my hands as we leave. “Best of luck to you, Cade. We’re all mighty proud of you.”

I nod and duck out, resigned to wait in the dry heat for my parents to finish socializing. It’s a long-standing tradition that we drive to church together each week. My mom thinks this will bind us to each other in some spiritual way, allowing us to overcome our differences. So far it hasn’t worked.

While I wait, I study the architecture of the church. The Gothic-styled windows never get old, neither do the bright paintings that cover almost every surface. They transport me back to the 19th century, and I imagine a simple life of tending cattle, of coming home to a warm meal and loving family.

The building is the only reason I still agree to attend church with my family each week. That and we have enough strife amongst us; I’m loath to add more.

On the drive home my dad breaks the awkward silence by talking about the sermon. “Family gives strength,” he says, quoting the pastor. “I like that. I really like that.” He turns to Mom. “What do you think, dear?”

She pats his hand. “I thought it was good. Families should support each other.”

“Right, but they have to be together to do that,” he says. “That’s the other part I liked. Families must stay together, must hold each other close. That’s an important part. I don’t think a lot of people think about that.”

My mom pulls back her hand, fussing with her purse. “I think it was more metaphorical, dear.”

“What was metaphorical about that?” He slaps the steering wheel. “Family gives strength. Family has to stay together. Nothing metaphorical about that.”

Mom just shakes her head.

I shift in the backseat, stretching my long legs to the side to keep them from cramping, my Stetson boots pressing up against the other door. “If family gives one strength, shouldn’t family help each other achieve one’s goals?”

Dad nods. “Absolutely. Family goals.”

I clench and unclench my fist. “I don’t remember the pastor saying that.”

“Strength means working together on things, achieving things together. That’s how we keep Satan out of our lives.”

My lips curl up. “Guess it was metaphorical after all.”

Dad grunts. “There’s nothing metaphorical about the commands God has given us in regards to our family. For example, Colossians 3:20 says ‘Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.’ Ephesians 6:1 says the same thing, and goes further, saying to ‘Honor your father and mother that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’ God knew what he was doing, putting parents at the head of the family. Putting fathers at the head of the family.”

“I think you’re forgetting the rest of that verse, Dad. ‘Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.’ You might want to work on that one.”

Ignoring me, he continues. “Proverbs 1:8 commands sons to ‘Hear your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.’ God clearly wants children to obey their parents, to follow in their steps, to honor their will.”

Dad pulls up to our house, and I’m ready to jump out the moment he puts the brakes on. “This is all well and good,” I say, “and we could do this all day. But there’s one thing you’re forgetting, Dad.”

He turns to look at me, his face hard and uncompromising. “What’s that?”

“I’m not a child anymore. I’m a man. And the Bible is also pretty clear that a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. That families are for raising children to send them out into the world.”

His eyes narrow, lines forming around them. “As long as you live in my house, and rely on my money to support you, you will follow my rules.”

“In five years, I’ll have my inheritance from Grandpa, whether you like it or not.”

“And what are you going to do for those five years?”

I sigh, pulling my hat lower to cover my scowl. “Does it matter? Is it worth it to you, Dad? Breaking our relationship?”

He unbuckles. “We’re family. Our relationships don’t get broken.”

“Really? Let’s count the successful relationships you’ve had with your children.” I hold up two fists. “Look at that, 0 for 3, Dad, 0 for 3.” I pull myself out of the car and slam the door before he can reply. Anger sets my heart pounding, my fists desperate to punch something. As my family settles into the house, I saddle Biscuit, my horse, and let out my aggression as we race through the fields, leaping over fences until we’re clear to run free.

 

We use our formal dining room on Sundays, as if God cares where we eat dinner.

My mom brings out the salad and sweet tea, and my dad serves up the barbecued ribs and corn on the cob. Stevie is wheeled up to his customary spot at the table, though he does little but stare at us as we eat in awkward silence.

“Son, please say grace before we begin,” my father commands.

I pull my cloth napkin off my lap and toss it to the table by my plate. “I’d rather not.”

Unwilling, or maybe unable, to let it go, my dad continues to probe. “Come on Cade, there has to be something you’re grateful for. Just say grace.”

Mom, ever the peacekeeper, sides with Dad. “Go on honey, just say grace.”

Stevie’s eyes flicker back and forth, the side of his face that still works drooping into a frown.

I reach for his hand and my mother’s, and we form a lopsided circle around the table. As I open my mouth to speak, the grandfather clock in the living room chimes seven times, and we all sit through it, waiting for the silence to resume. At the last chime, I clear my throat and begin. “Thank you, God, for the wonderful food before us. Thank you for my dear brother and mother. And thank you for my father, who supports me in everything.”

I glance up at him and see him grimace at my words. Filling my voice with false sincerity, I continue. “Thank you for my father, who has always told me to follow my dreams. Thank you for my father, who offered to pay for my tuition, who supports my career choice, and who’s never made fun of me for doing what I love. Thank you—“

Dad’s voice barks out in anger. “That’s enough, that—“

I shout over him, raising my voice to be heard for once in my life. “Thank you for my father, who gave me a pat on the back when I was accepted into one of the best universities in the world, who said, ‘Good job, Son. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you!’”

I stop yelling, grief swelling up inside of me and breaking my words in half. “I’m proud of you.”

As the pain chokes me, my father’s face tightens in fury. “Cade, you will apologize right now and—“

Without an appetite, I stand and walk out of the house, silent and tired of fighting the same losing battle over and over.

 

The sun is setting, my favorite time of the day despite the melancholy it fills me with, or maybe because of it. I haven’t been back into the house, and my dad hasn’t come out to look for me, not that I expected him to. After fixing a shoe on Biscuit and brushing her down, I feed her apples from my hand and smile as her soft horse lips push against my skin. Rubbing her neck, I lean my head against hers. “Why can’t he just listen, for once? Why can’t he at least try to see things from my perspective?”

“Hey!”

I turn and find Leslie strolling up to the barn, her shorts so short that the inside pockets poke out from underneath. She pulls herself up the gate and swings her legs while sucking on a lollipop. “Rich boy still has to do the grunt work?”

Biscuit finishes the last apple, and I wipe my hand on my jeans and let her out to wander the field. “I prefer to take care of my horse myself. Most cowboys do. Plus, Dad likes to keep the business with family.”

She licks lasciviously at her candy. “What do you like?”

I join Leslie by the gate, tempted to speak but unsure of how much truth I want to reveal to a girl I hardly know. “I like architecture.”

“So, you like buildings?”

“Yeah. Buildings. Sounds lame, right?”

She shakes her head, flipping her long braid over her tan and exposed shoulder. “No. Not really. Remember, you’re talking to the girl who wants to be a Disney Princess.”

A smile creeps over my face as we watch the sun set together.

I feel her eyes turn toward me, lollipop forgotten. “You don’t belong here, you know.”

I look at her and wonder if she sees more of me than my parents do. “What do you mean?”

Her slim arm flings forward in a wide, sweeping gesture. “You’re always looking out at the horizon, dreaming of some far off place. Where you dreaming of?”

“The Eiffel Tower. The Pyramids. The Pantheon. I don’t know. Someplace where a man dared to build something his father couldn’t even imagine.”

Leslie nods as if it all makes perfect sense. “That’s where you belong.”

“Paris?”

“The future,” she says, offering me her lollipop. “The future’s built by dreamers like you.”

 

The world is still covered in the shadows of night when I wake and get ready for my trip. Even the rooster is still deep in slumber.

My bags have been packed for weeks, but I hadn’t made the decision to actually leave until my talk with Leslie. Funny how someone can cross into your life, like a human intersection, and make such profound observations about you.

I shuffle around in the dark, stacking my luggage by the front door as I wait for the airport shuttle to arrive. I sneak into Stevie’s bedroom and kiss his smooth forehead. “I’m going to miss you, little bro. Take care of Mom for me.” As an afterthought I add, “And Dad.”

Speak of the devil, Dad’s standing outside Stevie’s bedroom when I walk out. I stand as tall as him, our 6’5” frames nearly identical in height, muscle and build. Everyone has always told me that I’m a younger version of my father, and I wonder if I’ll be as hard and uncompromising as him when I get older. I hope not. “I’ve decided to go.”

He nods. “Okay. A summer in Paris. I can live with that.”

I think about the college acceptance letter in my suitcase. “It might be more than a summer, Dad.”

“More than a summer?” All kindness in his face vanishes. “Who’s going to help with the ranch for more than a summer? Who’s going to take care of your brother for more than a summer?”

My stomach tightens. “He’s—“

Dad raises a fist. “He’s what? What is he?” He steps closer to me, face inches from mine.

I force the words out of my mouth. “He’s not my responsibility.”

Dad stumbles back, as if in shock. “He’s not your responsibility? He’s not your responsibility? We’re family. We’re supposed to help each other.”

“Then help me.” The words come out before I can stop them and the moment I speak, I wish I could take them back.

Dad moves aside, leaving enough space in the hall for me to walk by.  “You know, I just realized, you’re not my responsibility, either. So, just go. Go. You want to go. Go. You’re an adult, as you’re so apt to point out. You make your own decisions. So go.”

Acid fills my gut. I don’t know when I’ll see him or Mom again and I don’t want to leave things like this. “Dad, I—“

His fist slams against the cherry wood hall console table. “Get out of my house!”

I shove past him and rush down the stairs with a brief nod to my mother who stands by their bedroom door in her robe, eyes spilling over with tears.

“You are not my responsibility,” my dad reiterates as the front door closes behind me.

The shuttle arrives and a short man with a Hitler mustache loads my luggage into the van as my parents open the door to stand on the front porch with me.

Seeing the driver, my dad plasters a fake smile onto his face, and holds out his hand for a firm—too firm—handshake. “Come back after the summer, son.” He leans in and lowers his voice. “Otherwise, good luck in your new life.”

 

 

WINTER DEVEAUX

CHAPTER 2

 

 

 

 

THE FATE OF my career—of my entire future—is in the hands of this balding man sitting in front of me. My advisor, Mr. Posthumus, fidgets with his glasses and taps his red pen against my marked up manuscript, complete with his coffee cup stains. “Winter, why did you choose to write a romance novel?” He spits out the last words like they leave a bad taste in his mouth.

I want to grab my novel from him and clutch it to my chest. Sweat and blood and tears have gone into that pile of papers he’s treating like a coaster. Instead, I paste on a smile. “I love romance novels. My kindle’s full of romance novels. They say write what you read, right?” I take a sip of water and set the bottle on the table. I should pour it on his favorite book.

“They also say write what you know.”

People love that saying. My dad said the same thing to me years ago. So I asked him for bookshelves and books on all sorts of things: geography, history, mystery. He built me bookshelves until my room had no more bare walls, and he bought me a book about a princess who sleeps for years and wakes with a kiss. “You scare me, child” he’d said. “Read a kid book once in a while.” So I did, and it was the most romantic story. And I knew what I would write.

Lacing my fingers together, I return my attention to Mr. Posthumus. “Right. That’s why I read so much.”

He sighs, and his large paunch pushes against the buttons of his tweed jacket in protest of its confinement. “When they say write what you know, they mean write what you know from personal experience.”

I frown. “They should really clarify that.”

He shrugs. “It’s pretty obvious.”

“Not really.”

“What do you know about romance, Winter?”

I sit up straight, flicking imaginary dust off my faded jeans. “Everything.”

Mr. Posthumus raises an eyebrow. “Cocky, aren’t we?”

“Realistic.”

He waves his hand, as if beckoning me to continue. “So you have a lot of experience?”

“Well, I know things.”

He adjusts his glasses again, leaving a thumbprint on the right lens. “What sort of things?”

I lean in and quiet my voice. “Remember chapter five? When they’re in the Jacuzzi and she does that thing?”

“Oh yeah.”

“And that other thing?”

“Oh yeah.”

I lean back and beam. “That’s what I know.” Sorry Dad. I didn’t read kid books for long.

“You mean you actually—”

“No.” My eyes widen. “That’d be crazy.” I was good girl, though, wasn’t I?

He puts his hand down on the table. “See, that’s my point. You’re not writing from personal experience.”

“You could tell by just reading my book?”

Now it’s his turn to beam. “I’m trained for that sort of thing. The romance…”

“What?”

“It’s a bit dry.”

Ick. “So I want it wet?”

“You want your readers—”

“Don’t even say it. Say… moist if you want, but don’t say wet.”

“You want your readers moist.”

I scrunch up my eyebrows. “That sounds so wrong.”

“Yet it’s right.”

I smile at him. It’s a trust me kind of smile. A you can tell me anything kind of smile. If I were in a cop show, I’d be the Good Cop criminals tell everything because of my smile. “But that scene, in the bathroom, didn’t it, you know….”

“What?”

“Well, you know…”

“Didn’t it what?”

“Didn’t it turn you on?”

He blushes. “Well, that was a good scene.”

I wiggle my eyebrows. “You like that one?”

“That thing she did. That was quite a thing. I didn’t know you could even—no. That’s not the point.”

That thing she did. A book on acrobatics gave me the idea. I fold my arms. “What is the point?”

He cleans his glasses, smearing his greasy thumb spot over the glass. “You haven’t dated in while.”

“How do you know?”

“The romance—”

“It’s a bit dry.”

He nods. “Not even realistic, really.”

“Thanks. I really needed that clarification.”

“You really did. You need to get out there and get—”

I throw my hand up like a stop sign. “Please. Don’t say laid. Say happy time, if you must. But don’t say laid.”

“I was going to say dating.”

My hands fall to my lap. “Continue.”

“You need to get dating. And then you need happy time.”

I smack my head. “Kill me, please.”

“They fire us for that sort of thing.”

“Darn.”

He clenches his jaw. “I know. Sometimes I just want to… never mind. Let’s continue.”

“Dating isn’t for me.” Maybe it was for that little girl, her head in a book all night, dreaming of Prince Charming. But not for me.

He twirls his pen—the red pen of doom—around in circles. “I suppose you could skip straight to—”

“That’s not for me either.”

He starts laughing. “And you want to write romance novels?”

“Yes.”

He keeps laughing. “Sorry.”

I start to stand. “Should I go?”

“No. I’ll be serious with you. Writing romance isn’t your thing.”

I roll my eyes. “Jeez, sir, why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I’m telling you now. Unless you’re willing to have happy time, you can’t write romance.”

“You’re just full of useful ideas.”

He rubs his chin, eyebrows furrowed. “There is one other thing you can try, though.”

“Don’t say sleep with a teacher.”

“No. Cut out the romance stuff. Make your book literary fiction.”

“I don’t read literary fiction.” My dad bought me one of those, but it was too slow to start and the characters talked of boring things. I read more in high school. I had to. But most literary novels are sad. No one saves the princess. No one falls in love. Or if they do, they die. Or their child dies. Or everyone dies.

“Well, you won’t get far with genre fiction here.” Mr. Posthumus pushes my manuscript away, his lip curled in disdain. “Our program at Sarah Lawrence is designed more for serious writers of literature. Why spend your parents’ good money on such an expensive education just to write romance novels?”

My dad asked me the same thing. When I showed him my college application, he asked, “You have books on everything, don’t you? College is for math or science or languages. You’re good at languages.” My mom always checked my language homework and nothing else. Until she didn’t have to check it at all.

Mr. Posthumus nods. “Besides, you’d do well in Modern Languages and Literature.”

I remember how I forced my dad to sign the application, refused to change it, and I push the manuscript back at my advisor. “I’ll do well in Creative Writing.”

“Who’s the expert here?” He wears a cocky grin. And I imagine him as a young boy, reading kid books about spies.

“Come on? Have you never considered writing genre fiction?”

He leans far back in his chair, staring at the ceiling, and I see an old man once again, holding a book some old literary committee gave an award. He smacks his lips. “Utilitarianism, Winter. It means—”

“The greatest happiness for the greatest number of people is what matters.” I glare at him and imagine the many words I could use to demonstrate my vocabulary. Few of them are nice.

“Literary fiction is the greatest,” he says.

Many have tried to prove so. Many have failed. “But more people read genre.”

He shrugs and gets a far away look. “I’m good at literary.”

The window is dim. The sun has set. “I need to go.”

He holds up a slip of paper. “Here’s a form to transfer majors.”

“Where’s the form to transfer advisors?”

“Winter, I’m trying to help you.”

“Then give me my evaluation.”

My advisor nods, pulls out a folder, and hands it to me, along with the battered copy of my manuscript. I hold both, staring at my name on the manila folder. Winter Deveaux, Freshman.

His chair squeaks as he shifts his ample bottom and pushes back from his desk. “Are you going to read it now?”

“Do I have to?”

“Not really. Have fun in Paris. Maybe you’ll meet someone.”

I stand up, grab my water bottle, and slide the evaluation into my backpack. “I’ll be too busy writing.”

He meets my eyes, and for a moment, he looks like my dad. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Winter. Few writers succeed.”

I chuckle. “People keep telling me that.”

“Because it’s true.”

 

Butterflies dance in my belly as we stand in the line to check my luggage. JFK International Airport looks like an alien spacecraft from the outside, but the inside is like its own mini-world, with stores and cafes and people from all over the world hurrying off to their next adventure. I’ve only ever been to an airport to see my sisters and cousin off, never as a traveler myself. Each time I came, I’d stare at the flickering and ever-changing screen of flights and imagine picking one at random and flying somewhere new.

Airports hold their own kind of magic. They are gateways to other worlds, in the most real sense. An airport is a portal, taking you from one life to another. When you fly, you’re suspended in time and place, not existing anywhere fully until you land. My hands tremble in excitement as I take my ticket, my gate number circled in a bold yellow highlighter, and leave the counter to say goodbye to my family.

They’re waiting by the bathrooms, and I pull my carry-on suitcase behind me to join them, holding up my boarding pass for them to see. My face splits into such a wide smile I’m sure I look a bit insane. “It’s real. I’m about to leave for Paris! C’est très excitant!”

My sister, Autumn, hugs me first, squeezing me tight. Her green eyes glow with excitement. “I know you’re going to have an amazing time.” She pulls back and brushes a stray lock of black hair from my face. “I might see you while you’re there. We have a big Egyptian exhibit about to go on tour and The Louvre is one of our tour stops.”

I squeal and hug her again. “That would be so awesome. I can’t wait.”

Daring, my cousin who’s more like a sister, is next, a small package in her hand. “I have a going away present for you.”

I open the silver box and smile, pulling out the charm necklace. It’s just like hers, the one I’ve admired for years, with a tiny Eiffel Tower, a silver envelope, a foreign coin and beads. The only thing it’s missing is the key.

As if reading my mind, she pulls hers out of her shirt and holds it up. “My key was my mother’s, before she died. I didn’t put one on yours because you need to find your own. One that means something special to you, that reminds you who you really are.”

I nod and slip it over my head, then hug her. “This is the best gift. Thank you.”

She smiles and tweaks my nose, something she hasn’t done since we were kids. “I have a feeling this summer’s going to change your life.”

My mom kisses my cheek, tears in her eyes. “We’re going to miss you. Write us, call us and be careful.”

Autumn and Mom stand together, their auburn hair and green eyes twins of each other.

I’m more like my father with the pale skin and ice blue eyes. His are watery as he takes me into one of his trademark bear hugs. “Be good, kid. And have fun.” He shoves a stack of cash into my hand, and it’s not American bills but Euros, which look like Monopoly money to me. I raise my eyebrow.

He smiles. “I have my ways. Figured you should have some cash, in addition to your debit card, just in case. Don’t lose it.”

I shove the wad into my purse. “Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate it.”

Another round of hugs, with my own tears spilling over as my heart wars within itself, torn between excitement and sadness, and I’m in the customs line waiting to be interrogated. Irrational fears overtake me, my imagination plagued with absurd scenarios where I’m arrested for suspicion of being a terrorist or accused of smuggling drugs. The scenes unfold in my mind, complete with dialogue, until my body reacts viscerally to this made-up tragedy. By the time it’s my turn to show my passport, I’m convinced my guilt will show on me like a tattoo on my face.

The man behind the counter, without a hint of a smile, asks me for my passport. With sweaty palms, I hand it to him, counting to ten in my mind and trying to calm my heart rate lest he hears its frantic beating.

“Where do you live?” He looks up as he asks this, holding my passport to compare to my face.

My passport picture is horrible. I was sick that day and looked jaundiced. Will he think it’s not me? That it’s fake? And what does he mean by where do I live? Like my home address or city, county, state? Country? Though I’d think country would be obvious by my passport. I don’t really want this creepy dude knowing my home address, so I start with the broadest classification I can get away with. “I live in the United States.” My voice shakes when I say this, and his eyes narrow in.

“Full address, ma’am.” His hand slips under the counter, and I wonder if he’s hitting a silent buzzer to notify security that he has a potential criminal on his hands.

“3211 Primrose Avenue, Bronxville, New York.” My mouth is dry, my tongue feels swollen to twice its size.

“Where are you going?”

I show him my ticket. “Paris, France. I’m studying at the Sorbonne.”

“What is the purpose of your travels?”

Didn’t I already answer this part? “To study,” I say slowly, in case he’s having a hard time understanding. “At the Sorbonne.”

“When do you plan on returning?”

Well, now, that’s a much trickier question. “It depends. I’m going to be there at least the summer, but if things go well, I could be there the whole year.”

Placing my paperwork on the counter, I point to my student visa and acceptance letter. “See?”

He proceeds to ask me a series of questions about my luggage. If I’m taking any perishables with me? Is this a huge criminal problem, I wonder? Is the smuggling of a pineapple really an international emergency? Once I answer everything to his satisfaction, he hands me my passport back and I exhale in relief.

He points to another line. “You may go.”

He didn’t stamp my passport. It’s a silly thing, maybe, but that stamp is symbolic of my journey and I really want it, but don’t want to draw more attention to myself. I hesitate, pivoting back and forth on my feet in indecision.

“Ma’am, please move along.”

Summoning my boldness, I place the passport on the counter. “Would you mind stamping this? It’s sentimental.”

He rolls his eyes, but stamps it as asked, and I nearly skip off to the next line, relieved that the worst of my first airport experience is over.

Daring helped me pack, so I don’t break a sweat at this next part, and already have my shoes, belt and jacket off, laptop pulled out, and my travel size toothpaste and hair products in their baggies and sitting on the top of my luggage by the time it’s my turn to place my belongings on the belt for it to be scanned in the X-ray machine. No buzzers go off as I walk through the metal detector, which, since I’m practically naked now, is not a big surprise, but my bag doesn’t pop out the other side like everyone else’s.

In fact, they stop the belt and pull my bag, like it might be a bomb or something.

Luggage backs up, causing one bag to fall off the machine. Angry travelers glare at me, as if I’ve made it my mission in life to make them late. Only one person doesn’t make me feel like a total jerk. He looks like a cowboy with his wide-brimmed brown leather hat, pointy boots and belt buckle. I suck in a breath when we make eye contact, his blue eyes two shades darker than mine. This is the kind of man writers dedicate romance novels to. Broad chested with ropes of muscles under his shirt, strength earned from real work not a gym, skin sun-kissed and glowing. He smiles at me and my knees go weak.

Le sigh.

Feeling the heat rush to my face, I nod my head in my most regal fashion and turn away as the scrawny 20-something guy working behind the x-ray machine asks me to follow him so he can inspect my bag.

He steps to the side and opens my red carry-on, shuffling through my iPad, a change of clothes and other staples I was told to always carry with me in case my luggage was ever lost. There are perks to being one of the youngest in a family of world travelers.

My jaw drops when he pulls out a gallon sized plastic baggie and dumps the contents—items I’ve never seen before in my life—onto the counter. Holding up a pair of red G-String panties with a matching bra, if that slip of silk can be called a bra, and a handful of—oh my God—condoms?

He smirks at me and reads aloud the note that’s in the baggie. “Winter, Have some fun this summer. Here’s a starter sex kit to help you out. All my love, your favorite cousin, Daring.”

I want to die.

I want the floor to open up and swallow me, or lightning to strike me dead.

I want them to arrest me, just so I can get away from the dozens of eyes taking in my humiliation.

I fight the urge to tell them I have a bomb, or maybe that I am the bomb. Or to tell them I’m a drug mule. Anything to divert attention from the most embarrassing moment of my entire life.

And then I remember the hot cowboy.

Who’s standing behind me.

Who heard and saw everything.

My cheeks, I can already feel, are a flaming red. I probably look like my head is about to explode. I wish it would, so I won’t have to live in this moment any longer.

An older woman, probably the supervisor, grabs the note and the panties from the jerk staring at me. “I think you’ve sufficiently searched this bag.” She nods sympathetically at me and shoves Daring’s gift back under my clothes, zipping my suitcase shut. “Sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. You can take your belongings and head to your gate now.”

I grab everything, slipping back into my shoes as I half-run, half-trip away, my jacket and belt dangling from my arm. I don’t look back to see if the hot cowboy is watching the most ungraceful escape ever made by a girl. I just can’t deal with him.

This is worse than the time I bought my first box of tampons and found that the checkout clerk was the sexy upperclassman I’d had a crush on since I was in middle school.

Worse than when I threw up in public at a football game.

Worse than anything I can even imagine.

My only consolation is that I’ll never see any of those people again. This is one of the biggest airports in the country, and they will be scattered all over the world within a few hours. I’ll live down my humiliation in the privacy of my memories.

I dash into the nearest bathroom and hide in an empty stall, waiting for the horror to die down. I can’t believe Daring put these things in my suitcase. No wonder she was so anxious to help me pack. Through the years she’s played pranks on me. Sharing a room with her has always been an adventure, but this tops the cake.

Once my heart rate returns to normal, I spend the next twenty minutes looking for my gate and debating whether or not I’m going to call my cousin and chew her out, but I don’t have the energy for a fight. Better to just forget it and move on.

When I reach my gate, the first thing I see is Monsieur Bellugue, my French professor, holding a sign that says “Summer in France Program”. A group of college-age students huddles around him, and I join the mill. Only two of us are from Sarah Lawrence, the rest have flown in from other participating universities. It’s an elite program, and I’m still in awe that I got in.

The second thing I see is the sexy cowboy.

Standing with my group.

Looking right at me.

Oh dear God in heaven, why won’t you let me die?

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