Romantic Comedy Author and a Writer’s Go-To-Gal for Muse Therapy D. D. Scott is treating you and your muses to the book version of her wildly successful Muse Therapy Online Classes and Live Workshops.
MUSE THERAPY utilizes fun and fabulous tools to inject life into writers’ tired and/or stressed out muses. By showing you how to analyze your muses’ funks, rein in your creative divas and ultimately up your page counts, D. D.’s created a writer’s go-to-manual for “muse disorders”. She’ll help you dig deep then deeper still into your writer psyche.
Once upon a time her muses weren’t ticking. They were ticked off. Why? Because they were too damn tired and stressed out trying to find their way on the Yellow Brick Road to Publishing Oz. Screw the Happily Ever After. Her creative divas couldn’t produce past page one.
Saying that writing-for-publication is tough is the bolder-than-bold-faced understatement of the new millennium. And with today’s huge economic and technological changes, it ain’t gettin’ any easier.
But once D. D. shows you how to recognize, acknowledge and accept your muses’ afflictions and teaches you her tricks, tips and “trips” to treat the word witches of your writing world, you and your muses will be cranking out pages with gusto.
Plus, you won’t be alone in your journey. Her MUSE THERAPY tips and tricks continue to be apropos no matter where a writer is in his/her career. By sharing fantastic and at times roll on the floor, laugh out loud anecdotes she gathered – either interviewing or attending workshops given by the romance genre’s hottest stars – she proves this assertion. You’ll hear from:
Welcome to “therapy”…MUSE THERAPY that is.
Click here to download D.D. Scott’s MUSE THERAPY(or a free sample) to your Kindle, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, BlackBerry, Android-compatible, PC or Mac and start reading within 60 seconds!
Free Kindle Nation Shorts – January 28, 2011
An Excerpt from
MUSE THERAPY:
Unleashing Your Inner Sybil
by D.D. Scott
Copyright © 2010, 2011 by D.D. Scott and published here with her permission
INTRODUCTION
Once upon a time my muses weren’t ticking. They were ticked off. Why? Because they were too damn tired and stressed out trying to find their way on the Yellow Brick Road to Publishing Oz. Screw the Happily Ever After. My creative divas couldn’t produce past page one.
Let me clarify a bit. I’m not talking about my ticked off muses from yester
year, before I wrote this book to give your muses a good kick in the pants. I’m talking about my yesterday muses, or maybe the day before that, or last week and last month. ‘Cause here’s the thing…our creative divas are a constant work in progress (hereinafter referred to as WIP) as are the manuscripts of our hearts that we’re trying like Hell to get published.
Saying that writing-for-publication is tough is the bolder-than-bold-faced understatement of the new millennium. Writing-for-publication is a bitch! There’s just no sweeter-than-raw-sugar way to say it. And with today’s huge economic and technological changes, it ain’t gettin’ any easier.
The ruby slipper advice that once took your manuscripts from the slush pile to Emerald City has been re-shoed. Editors have been there, done that and are looking elsewhere for the ‘Yes…I want that one’. It’s a new publishing world, and if you want to make it, you can’t be anything less than brave and fierce in your determination. Not only do your muses need to be dancing like nobody’s watching. They’d better be dancing their asses off for the long-haul.
But how can our muses keep bootscootin’ when publishers continuously change the beat of what they want and don’t want? When no one else is still gutting it out with you on the dance floor? When the music we like isn’t the crowd favorite or worse yet, it’s the genre publishers insist is dead?
For years, seven to be exact, I pondered these less-than-stellar writing-for-publication realities…just like you are now. Frankly, I still ponder them every day while getting my BITCHOK groove on (Butt In The Chair Hands On Keyboard) producing the next batch of pages I hope to sell to some editor somewhere over the publishing rainbow of rejection.
But not until January of 2009 while I was comfy on the couch in a Smoky Mountain chalet in Tennessee, with a spirited fire crackling and warming my fluffy-socked feet, did I discover Muse Oz.
On that frigid, snow-frosted mountain night, I was looking for a way to make my writing-for-publication career plan break out and stand out from the slush pile pack. I’d always been a big fan of NOT running with the wolves. Instead, I like to stay out of the pack and ahead of the leader dog just a smidgeon. So how could I get myself to be a Seth Godin Purple Cow on my Yellow Brick Road to bestsellerdom?
Godin, a Tufts and Stanford educated marketing guru, said in his New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller PURPLE COW that to transform your company (or yourself), you’ve got to be “remarkable”…as remarkable as a Purple Cow in a barnyard full of brown Hiefers.
Here’s what I knew for sure…Writers didn’t need to be reminded how tough writing-for-publication is. We all “get” that! Nothing “remarkable” about that. It just plain sucks. And on those rare occasions we forget, there are plenty of books out there emphasizing the realities of Publishing Hell and crashing creative spirits.
What writers need are fun and productive techniques to keep their muses cranking out pages ’til some editor somewhere likes what they put on the page and offers them the “big bucks”…or just bucks period.
To keep my muses cranking out manuscripts I rely in part on multiple award-winning poet, playwright, filmmaker and iconic creativity teacher Julia Cameron’s THE ARTIST’S WAY. Cameron taught me (and reminds me each time I return to her book – which is a bunch) that writers, like all artists, fly in the face of failure on just their “wings and a prayer”. We continue traveling writing-for-publication paths because those fascinating but at times treacherous roads feed our souls, awaken our spirits and boost our zest for life.
Beyond Julia Cameron’s guidance, I rely on my own unique brand of psychobabble bullshit cultivated by my studies at Purdue University. I graduated magna cum laude with a BA in Political Science and Psychology. Basically, I’m qualified to lie then make reasonable excuses for and an analysis of the world’s beyond crazy antics. Seriously though, I love analyzing what makes leaders and the groups they lead tick. In addition, I have a knack for public speaking and teaching. I simply love to share and debate ideas.
So back to my Smoky Mountain chalet but add a gin and tonic with lime to the fire-warmed, toasty scene I previously set. I was taking a class that night – add perpetual student to my resume – by award-winning writer and instructor extraordinaire Randy Ingermanson, aka The Snowflake Guy, on how to write what he calls a “SuperArticle” or “Pillar Article” to capture people’s attention on a world-wide stage. Randy pushed me to think about what it was I knew and could teach writers in a unique way that would also introduce D. D. Scott to the world in a big, splashy, one-of-a-kind blitz. What could I write to make the buzz (at the water-coolers near the publishers’ slush piles) about me and my writing?
Finally…I had it!
Thanks to Seth Godin, Julia Cameron, The Snowflake Guy, a fabulous fireplace in a mountain chalet and my share of gin, I discovered a way to be a purple cow on my way to Publishing Oz. And boy would my parents be thrilled I was actually going to use my college degree! I reached for my legal pad and pencil – how I start most all of my writing projects – and MUSE THERAPY FOR WRITERS: UNLEASHING YOUR INNER SYBIL was born.
MUSE THERAPY utilizes fun and fabulous tools to inject life into writers’ tired and/or stressed out muses. By showing you how to analyze your muses’ funks, rein in your creative divas and ultimately up your page counts, I’ve created a writer’s go-to-manual for “muse disorders”. I’ll help you dig deep then deeper still into your writer psyche.
Once I show you how to recognize, acknowledge and accept your muses’ afflictions, I’ll teach you tricks, tips and “trips” to treat the word witches of our writing world.
My techniques are built upon poking good-natured fun at just how closely our life as writers parallels that of the best mental health maladies.
By showing you how to keep your BITCHOK groove on, I’ll keep you laughing out loud and producing a plethora of pages. Using creative exercises such as Muse Therapy “trips”, collaging as a WIP of your WIP, “Rorschach-inspired” Feng Shui, Bi-Polar and Neurotic Writing, and stimulants like bitchy signs when coffee, chocolate and martinis aren’t enough, I’ll empower you to regain sovereignty over your creative dynasties.
You may know you need MUSE THERAPY. You may not. Depends on whether or not you’re in denial. Although you DID pick-up this book which could be a significant clue, let me convince you beyond reasonable sanity that you damn well need to continue reading.
When any of the below sound even remotely familiar, you need MUSE THERAPY:
1. Your muses aren’t ticking. They’re ticked off.
2. Your muses are in a funk saying “up yours” instead of upping your page counts.
3. Even great sex or a new pair of shoes can’t rein in your creative divas.
4. The following sessions sound appealing:
** Unleashing Your Inner Sybil
** Writing Bi-Polar: I Suck vs. I’m a Genius
** What Do You Mean I’m Neurotic? No, I’m Not. Well, Not Exactly. But Okay… There Are Times When. Like You Need To Know That. Anyway, I Was Thinking, My Jeep Is Red
** Rorschach For Writers: I See Dead Lines
** Stimulants: When Coffee, Chocolate, and Martinis Aren’t Enough
** Goin’ Jungian
** Muses and Misplaced Aggression – Kick Your Own Ass Not Somebody Else’s
** Word Witch Paranoia
** Rockin’ It With Anal Retention
5. Your word witches are on their way to publishing Oz but the Yellow Brick Road you’re bootscootin’ on…well…the damn thing never ends!
6. Everyone says your writing is a waste of time, a “hobby” that will never “pay-off”.
7. You feel the urge to tell everyone in reason six to (I’m thinking of a phrase that starts with a 4-letter-word and ends with a ‘you’, ‘off’ or ‘me’).
Here’s the secret MUSE THERAPY reveals…upping page counts isn’t done by hurling nasty insults at your muses. Oh no. When writing-for-publication, you must wine and dine those divas. Whether it’s with coffee, chocolate, fabulous finds in some chic boutique, or with what I call Muse Therapy Trips, it’s all about pampering those chicks and chucks ’til you get out of them exactly what you want…and then some.
To do this, you must discover why, when, where and how your muses produce fabulous bursts of ideas on your screen and manuscript pages. With MUSE THERAPY, you’ll have a terrific time conquering your creative divas and taking back the crown of your personal Muse-ville kingdoms.
And you’re not alone in your journey. My MUSE THERAPY tips and tricks continue to be apropos no matter where a writer is in his/her career. By sharing fantastic and at times roll on the floor, laugh out loud anecdotes I gathered – either interviewing or attending workshops given by the romance genre’s hottest stars – I’ll prove this assertion. You’ll hear from:
Allison Brennan
Jennifer Crusie
Cynthia Eden
Janet Evanovich
Jennifer Greene
Nancy Haddock
Gemma Halliday
Linda Howard
Eloisa James
Marcia James
Jayne Ann Krentz
Debbie Macomber
Nora Roberts
Karen Rose
Tawny Weber
You’ll appreciate and relate to the at times hilarious at times appalling and embarrassing flops and miss-steps they endured on their way to bestseller superstardom.
Believe you me, I was shocked to garner attention from such writing greats!
I conceived MUSE THERAPY: UNLEASHING YOUR INNER SYBIL as an online class that I’d be lucky to attract interest in since, at that time, I was still unpublished. But I debuted the idea at RWA’s National Conference in Washington D.C. in July 2009 to gigantic kudos then booked seventeen online classes and live workshops within the next sixty days (including being asked to provide “therapy” for the 2010 RT Convention in Columbus Ohio). Muses were evidently hurting all over the globe, and I’d realized the awesome reach of my approach. I’d created a huge hit for writers to heal their partners on the page!
And wow was I completely humbled when class participants continued asking me to write a companion book. Even though I had no clue what the Hell I was doing (just ask my agent), I soon set out on that non-fiction Yellow Brick Road with gusto. Like I’ll show you to do, I reined in my creative divas. You’re reading the results.
So let’s get started…the next book you read could be yours!
Grab a comfy couch or your favorite chair and put up your feet. It’s time to give your muses a big-time boost of productive power. Note: I’m serious about putting up your feet. Get comfortable. Whatever form that takes for you.
Besides a comfy couch or chair, you’ll need the following tools on your MUSE THERAPY journey:
- A Journal or Notebook – one that really makes your muses wake-up and take notice. Something so in line with their tastes that they’re dying to crack open the cover and get to work. For example, I love anything hot pink and chocolate brown in color, and the more sparkles on it the better. So I snatch up those puppies wherever and whenever I find ’em. And don’t forget the equally fabulous pen or pencil your muses also can’t resist. Oh, and if you’re a techno person, using your PC, laptop or notebook, or smart phone is perfectly fine too. MUSE THERAPY is all about whatever works for you and your muses. Who cares what anyone else thinks of your methods and tools?
- A Reward Box to fill with slips of paper containing treats for yourself as rewards for reining in your creative divas and upping your page counts. For example, I might jot down that I’d like a mani or pedi or mani/pedi combo – depending on my budget. Or how about an evening at the movie theatre instead of at home with my DVR? And I’d love to have another massage. So I write down all these treats and toss them into my Reward Box. Every so often, after I’ve met another production goal, I pick a slip from the box and treat myself and my muses to something I know ahead of time I’ll beyond love. And as in the above MUSE THERAPY tool, of course it’s okay to put all your rewards on some techno-terrific spreadsheet too!
To pamper your muses, you must first pamper yourself. In MUSE THERAPY, it’s all about you, Baby! Give yourself permission to be queen of your creative domain. Your muses will be glad you did and so will you.
Just don’t fool yourself into thinking once you’re done with this book, you’re good to go. Writers are WIPs just like their WIPs. Our
muses can always use a tune-up. And MUSE THERAPY FOR WRITERS: UNLEASHING YOUR INNER SYBIL is the right mechanic as verified by the following bestselling authors:
“Had a blast doing this. Love your idea, and hope you have a terrific time with it!” – Jennifer Greene aka Alison Hart
“Sounds like fun, and I’m sure will help people.” – Eloisa James
“Love your subtitles :)” – Allison Brennan
“All the best! I have to find a time…I’ll be home long enough to take the whole course!” – Nancy Haddock
“I really REALLY appreciate your asking for my input. I’m so excited… and know it’s going to be amazing. I’ll send people your way!!” – Tawny Weber
“Thanks so much for asking me to participate! This was fun. :)” – Cynthia Eden
“Thanks so much for including me in your workshop quotes! I really like your “voice” and humor. Let me know if there is anything else I can do.” – Marcia James
So get back on that couch of yours and put up your feet. You’re ready to embark on your first of many MUSE THERAPY sessions. Take note of the creative exercises I teach that really make your muses dance like nobody’s watching. You’ll return to these fun and fabulous tools whenever your creative divas need another kick in the pants.
Most writing books harp on and on and on about the beyond bleak chance you will ever see your book on a shelf or e-reader screen. Instead of dampening your creative zest, yet again, with additional cold shots of discouragement, we’re going to focus on reigniting the fiction and/or non-fiction flames kindling your muses. Using unique exercises and tools, we’ll warm up your muses and analyze their funks then rein in those fickle divas and up your page counts.
Playing on the “crazy trip” writing-for-publication is (even on a good day), we’ll assess your writer’s journey in a parody-like roast as if you are the next great mental health case study.
We’ll study and continuously build-on laugh out loud visuals including photos, art work reproductions, bitchy signs, comics and cartoons. Using these outrageous images, I’ll help you stimulate and reinvigorate your cranky, stressed-out muses.
Focusing on laughter as the best and most successful therapy, MUSE THERAPY shows you and your muses it’s okay to be “crazy” as long as your “crazy” works for you by upping your page counts and taking back the throne of your creative empires.
Welcome to “therapy”…MUSE THERAPY that is.
CHAPTER ONE
NAME THAT MUSE
You’re still reading. Bravo! I take it you’ve decided you need a writer’s go-to-gal for muse “disorders”. You’ve committed yourself to staying on the “crazy” writer’s journey to publication. For that, you should probably be committed.
Instead, pat yourself on the back. Go ahead. Give yourself a hearty tap. Few people are waiting in line to do it for you, right? So have at it! Congratulate yourself for being at the top of your creative game. You’re not in denial. And shame isn’t blocking your momentum ’cause you’re still “in therapy”. You must be in the writing business for fun, fortune and fame.
What? That’s not it? Okay. At least that last ideal looks fabulous on paper. You gotta see it to believe it. Right?
So bad jokes aside, let’s get started.
I’m going to remind you again, like I will throughout the book, that you’re not alone in your take-back-the-power struggles. For example, New York Times bestselling author of historical romances and Fordham University Shakespeare professor Eloisa James told me “My muse doesn’t fizzle because I can’t allow her to…I keep my imagination alive…”
Yes. Even New York Times Bestsellers have to work at keeping their muses on the ball. But not just the top of the chart authors have to pamper their muses. Here’s what a couple of my Muse Therapy Online Class participants shared with me about their on-going struggles with their creative divas:
“I’m still trying to get my muse back here. She sent me a postcard from some beach in Tahiti saying that I was the one who needed therapy and not to bother her while she is sunbathing, swimming and dancing with (insert names of hot cabana boys)…Oh and the chocolates I sent her were good but she wants dark chocolate next time and more rum. Grrr.”
“A few weeks ago, I had a big push and submitted a bunch of stuff and now I’m waiting to hear back. And, I guess my muses feel like they needed a vaca(tion). Haven’t heard a peep from them. Guess I’ll have to call them out…”
When you’re fin
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is also available. For updates on her books, her sexy, sassy, smart neurotic writer’s life blog, and for a schedule of appearances and Muse Therapy Sessions, visit her website www.DDScott.com. While there, sign-up for her mailing list for chances to win fabulous tchotchkes.
to download 
,” and I think it’s a big deal, too.
, they offer nuanced journeys of both fact and fiction. This first set of Singles was selected by our team of editors, and includes works by Rich Cohen, Pete Hamill, and Darin Strauss. We hope you enjoy reading them as much as we have.
by Rich Cohen. He wrote the first draft of Apocalypse Now. He discovered Arnold Schwarzenegger. He wrote Clint Eastwood’s “Go ahead, make my day.” The Vanity Fair writer and author of 
by Pete Hamill. From the eminent journalist and novelist comes a common-sense plea for a new immigration policy, one that asks America to embrace its illegal-alien population, not condemn it. Hamill advocates a fresh look at amnesty and pardon policies, offering illegal immigrants a “hand of welcome.”
by Mark Greif. Eight babies. A financial crash. The porn offers. The infant formula. How one woman became a scapegoat for America’s troubles–but taught us how both the mighty and the powerless are gaming our system. This comic, provocative, wittily argued essay from 
by Evan Ratliff . The thieves had a handpicked crew, a stolen helicopter, a cache of explosives, and a plan to rob a $150-million cash repository. The Stockholm police had a tip-off. Ratliff, a writer for Wired and 
by Sebastian Rotella/ProPublica. The latest reporting from ProPublica, the Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative newsroom, reports on the U.S. investigation of the 2008 terrorist attack on Mumbai and provides a detailed picture of the ties between Pakistan’s intelligence service and a leading militant group.
by Christopher R. Howard. In this pre-apocalyptic love story, Sailor, a homeless Irish teenager who’s haunted by a diabolical voice, seeks to reunite with a soul mate he hasn’t seen since boyhood, as a cosmic event threatens to extinguish life on Earth. Howard’s fiction has appeared in McSweeney’s, and his first novel, 
by Claudia Lonow. The road from Knots Landing actress to success as a Hollywood TV writer proved a bit bumpy for Claudia Lonow. It involved a high school crush accused of murder, includes unfortunate professional encounters with Michael Keaton and Mary Tyler Moore, and culminates in a boyfriend-bonding experience at a Van Nuys sex club.
by Darin Strauss. Karate belts are for losers. So novelist (and 2010 National Book Critics Circle Award finalist for his memoir, 
by Ron Rosenbaum. The author of Explaining Hitler and the forthcoming How the End Begins explores the controversial use of the term “evil,” in a provocative analysis that leads from Hitler to a psycho serial-killer cabbie in London. Rosenbaum makes a powerful case for the connection between evil and free will.
by Anand Giridharadas. After six years exploring his parents’ native India, Anand Giridharadas–a young technology columnist for the New York Times and International Herald Tribune and author of India Calling–returns to China to measure a vast, troubled nation’s accomplishments and dreams.
by Ian Ayres. What if every pound you lost also saved you some hard-earned cash? When Ian Ayres, a law professor at Yale, wanted to drop from 205 pounds to 180, he put his money where his mouth was. And it worked. The author of 
shares his unique, incentive-based plan for losing weight.
by Brendan I. Koerner. At age six, Teddy Weatherford was working in a Virginia coal mine. Two decades later, he was the jazz king of Asia. Koerner, a Wired contributing editor and author of 
by Cristina Nehring. At what should have been one of the happiest moments of her life–on the eve of a rave review of her 2009 book, A Vindication of Love, on the cover of the New York Times Book Review–Cristina Nehring learned that her young daughter had leukemia. There began a journey through the medical world, and into her little girl’s heart.
by Gever Tulley. Don’t let your kids climb on a jungle gym, eat bugs, or lick batteries. These are just a few of the standard-issue warnings that Gever Tulley, co-founder of the Tinkering School, tells us to ignore in this counter-intuitive essay. His basic message is both empowering and fun: Do try this at home.
by Rebecca Huval. A young woman with dreams of a songwriting career finds friendship–and an audience–among a group of 1960s folk musicians who still live and thrive right where it all began, in Greenwich Village.
by Robert Andrew Powell. It sounded like one of the great murder mysteries of our time: who was killing the women of Juárez? Journalist Robert Andrew Powell went to the Mexican border town to investigate, and separates fact from myth in a saga that eerily echoes the plot of Roberto Bolaño’s epic novel 2666.
by Thorsten Schier. Ever hear of the New York Thunder? Didn’t think so. They’re New York’s number-two pro basketball team. Maybe you should try rooting for them. They could use the help. Thorsten Schier spends a season inside the (rented) Thunder locker room.
by Nic Marks. Modern research proves the ancient wisdom that “money can’t buy you happiness.” But then why do our governments see their main task as simply growing GDP? Nic Marks, the founder of the London-based Centre for Well-Being, sets out an ingenious new way of defining national goals, and in the process reveals five ways people can nurture their own happiness.
by Juan Enriquez and Steve Gullans. Enriquez and Gullans–two eminent authors, researchers, and entrepreneurs–explore a world where humans increasingly shape their environment, their own selves, and other species. They envision a future in which humankind becomes a new species, one which directly and deliberately controls its own evolution and that of many other species. One of the inaugural TEDBooks.
, but you wish Dan Brown could lose his fixation with all the arty esoterica? 
